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Apr 18 · 485
To A.A.
Phoebe Woods Apr 18
To the boy I loaned a pencil,
You never had to give it back.

I know this one was fancy,
New eraser, full of lead.
But I had another one just like it
Which you could have had instead.

Though I always used the same one,
I carried two of every kind.
To make sure you had options
Of lead in every size.

You always chose the worst ones,
Even after I'd protest.
You said that you'd just lose it.
But I knew I'd have no regrets.

It was your right to lose them.
Pencils of your very own.
I had plenty more there in my bag,
And many more at home.

But you never took the nice ones.
So I collected from the floor
Any pencil so mistreated
That you would call it yours.

And every day I offered
Without needing to be asked.
Because the importance of a pencil
Was not just science class.
My science teacher always assigned the same boy to be my lab partner in middle school. I suppose she hoped I'd be a "good influence". I hope I was.
Feb 2023 · 2.5k
At the Creekside
Phoebe Woods Feb 2023
I had some bad news to deliver,
So I took her to my spot
The bench under the tree,
With all its gnarled knots

The bench right by the creek,
Right where the turtles like to play
A sacred spot of rest,
And shade on sunny days

I sat her down beside me,
And prepared her for the worst
Something so horrible,
It had taken eight weeks to rehearse

I really wish he'd told her,
Like he said he would
Should have known an aggressor's word
Is rarely ever good

I told her all there was to tell,
I answered every question
And then I found myself alone,
Silence in all directions

She walked so far away,
That I couldn't hear her voice
My story then repeated,
To the person of her choice

I waited on the bench,
And then waited some more
I made a small bouquet,
From flowers on the shore

I tied it up with grass,
And set it to the side
Such a mindless act of beauty,
I'm shocked I didn't cry

Not a sound escaped my lips,
Even after she returned
From the feeling in the air I knew,
The meeting was adjourned

Less than one day later,
She sat me down backstage
Though her conclusions were ill-founded,
Her words stung all the same

Eight weeks of work and "it's not your fault"
She did her best to make undone
Not only did I encourage him,
But I broke the essence of our bond

My dishonesty, my silence,
Can never be forgiven
My every flaw as a friend,
Unasked for, yet still given

Her final words were pure spite
If I'd only told her that same night

But how could I have told her,
What I didn't understand?
In an effort to escape the room,
I may have kissed her man

Four months to process,
Four hours locked away
But I never knew peace,
until I made that bouquet.
May 2022 · 1.3k
Dear Five
Phoebe Woods May 2022
Dear five, without you
I would not be here.
For my mom was born
In your month of May.
And my dad was born
On the fifth of June.
Both of my siblings
And I make a five
Person family crew.
My bank account would
Be empty, but for
Five random dollars
I’ve managed to save.
Would you consider
Inspiring more than
Just me? With your great
Set of multiples?
Without ten, fifteen,
Twenty-five, oh where
Would we be? Dear five,
You’re so important
To all, not just me.
May 2018 · 473
Too Bad
Phoebe Woods May 2018
Crash goes glass on ***** ground
Shatter goes the breaking sound
Too bad, too bad, too bad.

Don't rush behind, don't rush ahead
With one mistake your dreams are dead
Too bad, too bad, too bad.

Breathe in slow, coughing fast
Searching for the aftermath
Too bad, too bad, too bad.

Sprint 'cross lawns, jump the fence
It's not love, in my defense
Too bad, too bad, too bad.

Too bad things cannot be fixed.
Too bad that it's all a blip.
Too bad that you need the thrill.
Too bad. You're empty still.
Dec 2017 · 494
Failure
Phoebe Woods Dec 2017
He fails to look at me
Because she is in his sheets.

I fail to look
Because I'm fragile.

She fails to look
Because she's passed out.

I fail to escape
Because of the time.

I fail
Because
I am a failure.
Dec 2017 · 440
Passed Out
Phoebe Woods Dec 2017
My hands are shaking
pulse rushing
heart beat-beating
vision blurring
speech slurring
dropping slowly to the ground.

In and out of consciousness
devil's words
blackness
faces crowding
halos glowing
fading into nothing now.
Phoebe Woods Dec 2017
It's the kind of relationship
where he says
I love you
and I say
thank you.
Dec 2017 · 441
Or somewhere in between
Phoebe Woods Dec 2017
Hollow cavern with a layer of dust
Swirling and shifting in a light breeze.
Everywhere else is darkness, nothingness, emptiness.
I am hopeful or hopeless or somewhere in between;
the weight of being empty continuously presses against my lungs
Dec 2017 · 1.1k
I do, but
Phoebe Woods Dec 2017
I love them I do, but
They make me cry when they speak

I love them I do, but
They make me bleed when I protest

I love them I do, but
They starve me when they hurt

I love them I do, but
They break me when I try

I love them I do, but
I only do, because I love them.
Emotional abuse can hurt just as much. I am getting help, no worries. Poetry is a good place to vent.
Dec 2017 · 338
Under this roof
Phoebe Woods Dec 2017
Four walls and a door propped open.
Roof comfortably overhead.
Full size bed with a squishy mattress.
Glass of water on the bedside table.

Prescription bottles gathered on the dresser.
Parental gaze from overhead.
Creeping fear from the open door.
Broken shard of glass on the floor.

Blood pooling in the carpet.
**** deep in both arms.
Well-known fear out the open door.
Broken body on the floor.
Dec 2017 · 280
HE WAS THERE
Phoebe Woods Dec 2017
He was there
When I pulled into the restaurant parking lot

He was there
When I swung open the right-hand door

He was there
When I walked to back of the line

He was there
When I waited to order

He was there
When I asked for my sub sandwich

He was there
And I cannot escape.
Oct 2017 · 635
For the broken
Phoebe Woods Oct 2017
Insomnia is not for the weary
It kills the hours of the night

Depression is not for the broken
It murders them on sight

Anxiety is not for the frightened
It makes their heart beat fast

Bulimia is not for the hungry
It swallows them up too fast

Self harm is not for the fragile
It won't let them just be

Love is not for the anyone
Especially not for me.
Oct 2017 · 703
Inevitable
Phoebe Woods Oct 2017
You kiss me,
You grab me
You lean me back to see the ceiling fan,
You instruct me on how to kiss you back

You had nothing to drink that night,
I had too many shots

I had a breakdown,
I needed to get out
I was trapped under you,
I said your girlfriend was my best friend

I said it wasn't right,
You didn't listen when I said no

You locked the door,
You wouldn't let me get my phone
You wouldn't let me see my friend,
You asked me if I loved you

You kept pestering me with questions,
I had to give you the answer you wanted

I cringed when you got close,
I stopped being able to breathe
I screamed through empty lungs,
I cried and cried and cried

I loved someone else,
You didn't care

"Inevitable. It was inevitable," you said.
Oct 2017 · 310
Drip
Phoebe Woods Oct 2017
I


am


the

dried up bit


at
the
end

of
a

lotion bottle.
Oct 2017 · 469
Meet Depression
Phoebe Woods Oct 2017
I can't get him to shut up.
The voice in my head

He tells me things
About other people
About myself
About the future

He talks
About other people

He knows everything
About myself

He makes plans
About my future

I can't get him to stop.
The voice in my head
Oct 2017 · 562
The Voice of Trauma
Phoebe Woods Oct 2017
I am not supposed to be here
I don't like it here
It isn't fun here
I am sad and scared
I want to leave now please
It's bad here
I’m cold
Shhhh
Go away
I can't do it
I can't get out
I am Trapped
Bad
It's empty here
And sad
I'm sad
And it hurts
I'm scared
I don't like it
I shouldn't be here
But she left me here
I try to tell them sometimes
But nobody listens
Nobody hears
When I try to say it
They all leave
And they don't come back
Ever
So I am alone
I am here
And no one will let me out
I try sometimes
But it's hard
And I don't work
And they leave
Why do they always leave?
They don't even know what it's like here
But they stay away
Because if they come with me
They get hurt
And I'm not worth it
Worth saving
Worth listening for
They say I'm fake
But they haven't been here
I have been here
And it's bad
I wish I could leave
I wish someone would come
I'm so alone
I don't like it here
I need to get out
I have to
I can't
Oct 2017 · 235
Firelight
Phoebe Woods Oct 2017
In shadow walk the Lords of Light,
Fire cast away the night
But little shall I stir or rest
When gazing at the burn, the crest
Where shadows walking die.

Fire crunching underfoot
It led the leaves astray
To sail upon the wind for songs
About this autumn day.

A winter whisper on the wind
Talks of snow and grey
But trees lay not yet barren here
About this autumn day.

March on, march on the Ladies of Song
Cast away the day so long
Well-rested in a weary way
Ready for the jig, the play
Where shadows dancing thrive.
Oct 2017 · 258
When
Phoebe Woods Oct 2017
Dusk by the time she realized
Dusk by the time it was too late
Night when fate struck her
Day when they found her hollow, skin case

Mid-morning before they found her
Mid-morning before they found the rest
Afternoon when they discovered
Evening when they knew what took her final breath

— The End —