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5.9k · Aug 2018
Today
Patricia LeDuc Aug 2018
Today my sister died…or maybe it was yesterday
I’m not really sure …how… why… or  when… it doesn’t matter now
If only I could talk to her again
I would let her know…
That If I knew that our brief encounter would be our last
I could have been kinder
The words flew thru out of my mouth
I wish I could take them back
Yes maybe I could have been a better sister
You pushed me away so much
That I had no reason the stay
You were wicked… spiteful… and …mean…
But you were my sister
You never moved on with your life
You suffered from the day Daddy died
Never to love again…
Your high expectations were written in stone…
In your cold …broken… sad… heart
You never knew the love you so needed
You never got what you deserved
You asked so little of life
Yet should have gotten the world
Your life was not sprinkled with true happiness
You were loved...but only felt pain
Why I will never know…
You had so much love to give
But you never found peace..
In life and
Now death
I now wish you peace
I wish you love
I wish you were here with me again
(roll your eyes at me…I know you want to)
Love is for giving
Love is Forgiving
I wish that from you…
Rest in heaven my sister
8/23/18
4.9k · Mar 2018
Bipolar Bubble
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
At a recent family gathering
Friends and family ask cheerfully
How are you feeling today?
Not too bad…my mouth says
I put a smile on my face
As I simply walk away

They don’t know I didn’t sleep last night
As well as the four nights before
When I am manic I can’t sleep at night
When depressed I sleep all day
I live in a bipolar bubble of life

Too high then so low
Takes a toll on me
Don’t know which way I will go
I don’t always get my way
I suffer thru another day

This is bipolar my life every day
If I told them just a part of what goes on
They would be startled by my reply
They can’t process the pain I am in

I’m crying in the hall way
Someone walks by
Wanting to comfort me
Don’t cry it will get better...

I’m not crying I say
Those are not tears you see
It’s my brain fluid leaking out of my eyes
What more could I say?
9/26/16
peoples view of mental illness
4.2k · Mar 2018
Look Twice
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
I met your ex today
And said no way
How can this be?
She looks older than me
What in her did he see?
Now I can breathe free
Old memories die
And now I know why
'I looked twice'

He says I’m looking great
Maybe he can’t see thru
My disguise
There must be rose tinted
Glasses over his eyes
Is he in for a surprise?
When he sees me with no makeup?
Just as I am when I wake up
And wonder who I am
'He will look twice'

I guess I should just say
Close your eyes
Use your imagination
When I look like a reject
From Alien Nation
My day is coming
When the next one in line

'Looks twice at me…'
Why did I need to be concerned with the past? I was not being judged by anyone but me.
November 16th 2003
Revised March 25th 2018
3/25/18
3.7k · Mar 2018
I Wished
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
I wished on a shooting star
I wished on the first star I saw in the night
I wished on an eyelash to find a true love
I wished on the candles on my birthday cake
I wished on the penny I threw in the well
I wished on a wishbone breaking it in two
I wished on a dandelion blowing seeds into the air
I wished on a ladybug to grant me good luck
I wished our love would come true
I wished you knew of my love for you

I wished that I knew… you were wishing for me too

I wished
I wished
I wished

I wished until there were no wishes left

(****! Where’s that Genie when you need him?)
March 27th 2018
3.7k · Apr 2018
Bipolar Bandit
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
The Bipolar Bandit comes
To take away my sanity
It wants to steal me away
To take me on a trip of madness
Drags me up above
Shows me things I don’t want to see
Is this really happening to me?

I can’t bare it
I start to cry
Oh no not again
I am crippled in panic

You blindfolded me
Just when I thought I could be free
You stole my life away you thief
Any happiness I have is tainted
You took away my joy
I can’t feel happiness or
Love for family and friends
I only feel anguish

You have ****** the life out of me
I can only look away
As you chuckle and say
“You can’t get away from me”
Struggling to keep my sanity
Wanting to restore me
To the person I used to be
9/30/16 revised 4/2/18
3.6k · Mar 2018
Diamond Rain
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
Behind the majestic maple tree
The sky changing to gray
I hear the deep rumbling warning
From thunder not far away
There is a thickness in the air
A sign it’s coming your way
The rain comes
But to my surprise
When the rain stops
A beauty of nature
Sparkling on the pine tree you see
Little droplets of rain diamonds
Shine on
9/18/16
3.4k · Apr 2018
Hell Bent or Heaven Sent?
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
You abruptly say you are leaving
I stare stunned
Eyes averted unbelieving
I drop to my knees
Heart broken and grieving
Thoughts of loss and pain
Run through my brain
Misery
Loss
Rejection
Are weaving
Into my life again
You seem Hell bent on leaving
I guess looks are deceiving
You looked so content
But you say your love is gone
And you don’t know where it went?
You are going to leave me broken and bent
What is the reason you are giving?
Whatever it is
I am shaken to the core
Stunned I watch
As you pack your stuff
I beg and say
Enough, enough
Our love was Heaven sent
What happened?
What did I miss?
A subtle change?
In your touch?
In your kiss?
Is that all out love meant?
You are declaring us over
Hell Bent?
Or
Heaven Sent?
January 14th 2018
2.6k · Mar 2018
Ohio My Home
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
OHIO MY HOME

Ohio my childhood home
a simpler life
an innocent time
a place where corn fields go on for miles and miles
the fields wave and sway beckoning you
to make secret forts in their midst
the original corn maze
in there we eat cow corn
never thinking to ask
was it fresh or clean?
it was organic at its best

playing in the water down at the “crick”
no such worries of a chemical spill
no one got sick
no parents around
nobody drowned

tornadoes come by
what a scary thrill
mother nature at her worst
toppling trees each way
providing us a strange place to play
in between the branches
we made our mansions
safe maybe not...
but we played anyway

far from the city lights
we spend our nights
watching natural sights
fireflies glowing looking for love
the tree frogs are singing out for a mate
mother raccoons bring their young from the nest
skunks delight us with their odorous best

in an eerie alien fog
ufo’s hovering over
tall trees in the front yard
all under the moons sight
as i close my eyes i can see
Ohio my memory home
February 9, 2018
2.5k · Apr 2018
Mental Health Upgrade
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
I can’t get up it hurts my ****
My knees go out I start to weep
I can’t stay awake
I can’t go to sleep
I’ve done what I can
So now I count sheep

My circuits are crossed
I stay home all day
With nothing to say
I’m lost and alone
So this is my life?
But at what cost?

My mental health is up for grabs
I am bipolar and it plays tricks on me
Sometime I fly more times I fall
So this is my life
I don’t want to play anymore

I take my meds as I should
Sometimes they work
Sometimes no more
Then I spiral down
To dwell in my hell
No one notices.
No one to tell

Don’t remember today
But remember the past
My apartment is not a house
Nor is it a home
So I am alone so alone

Try to read a book
But the words run away
I wonder what they have to say
I’m going shopping at the bipolar store
I need an upgrade but I won’t find it there
9/15/16 by Pat LeDuc
2.0k · Mar 2018
Too Fast
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
Commuters on a train
Going to work every day

Too fast the tracks say
They cause the train to sway
As they wobble and stray

Too fast the tracks say
As the brakes start to fail
As they scream out and pray

Too fast the tracks say
As the train goes off the rail
As the trains bursts into flame

Too fast the tracks say
As the train fills with smoke
As they all start to choke

Too fast the tracks say
As the conductor wakes up
A little too late

Too fast the tracks say
Commuters all dead
I warned you I said

Too Fast...
2/3/18
1.9k · Mar 2018
All Is Well For Me Today
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
The tea kettle is whistling
I hear the toaster go pop
Birds are happily chirping
I wonder what they have to say
Gonna be a beautiful morning
All is well for me today

In my bathrobe drinking my tea
I put my face to the blue sky
As I watch the world pass by
I see fluffy clouds in the distance
Playing hide and seek with me
All is well for me today

Sirens scream in the distance
Someone is mowing their lawn
A smell so familiar from my memories
Warm winds blow in slowly
Spring is finally upon us again
All is well for me today
9/17/16
Normal days are hard to find in my little world
1.8k · Feb 2019
Pills
Patricia LeDuc Feb 2019
With every pill I take… I lose a little of myself
It almost makes my life bearable
With every pill I take… my mind borders on insanity
It almost makes my life bearable
With every pill I take
I break with reality
Pop another pill
It will never make my life bearable
Pop another pill
Just in case
A vicious circle...that may never end
(Medications for Bipolar Disorder)
1.7k · Apr 2018
Holding Out for Hope
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
How did this happen?
What did I do?
I try to control it
I try not to believe it
It happens so fast
Not much I can do
Manic...x...two

I scream and I cry
Oh no not again
I know the symptoms
But they creep up to fool me
Tried distracting it
Tried to watch TV
Walk around and around and
Around the room

Manic, manic, manic
Top of the room feeling panic
Whoopee Bipolar is here again


Hoping my feet touch the ground
It follows me
My brain...is not sound
It beckons me still
Again and again
I take the good and the bad
Trying to cope
Holding out for hope
9/30/16 written by Pat LeDuc
Bipolar is frame of reference to a normal life
1.5k · Mar 2018
Drink Think
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
Stop and think…
   About the need to drink

Right now…
   It depends on how low
     You want to sink

Maybe it’s not a problem
   Just yet…

It could easily
  Take control
     Blacken your soul

Stop now…
   Before it takes its toll

Just remember…

   In order to win
      In order to stop
         You need not begin
November 23rd 2003
Brought back to life
February 26th 2018
1.4k · Mar 2018
Winter Woes
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
There is snow and more snow and more on the way
As weathermen take over the networks today
There is a blizzard on the way
So the weathermen say
Excited to scare us today
The winds growl and whip
As we watch the snow blow and drift
Are those tombstones or our cars?
(Who wants to clear off the dead?)
Not me I will stay in my bed.
There is black ice tonight
So the weathermen say
Who are they trying to scare?
They warn drivers beware
Expect to flounder and flip
We scrape and brush and shovel again
The same the very next day
Oh winter woes
I think I froze my toes
02/06/18
920 · Mar 2018
Love To Be So Cruel
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
I never knew
Love to be so cruel
You were my shining star
My crowning jewel
Things I learned
From love with you
They never taught in school
You broke every commandment
And every unwritten rule
From love with you
I was used as a fool
Of your desire
That unquenchable fire
Of me you said
You’d never tire
Oh my
My dismay
This dismal day
I watch as you
Walk away
I never knew
Love to be so cruel
01/04/18
882 · Mar 2018
Mask
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
Funny you should ask
Why I hide behind this mask
Afraid of the future
Yet fearful of the past
How long will this last?
What task
What toil
Will make me recoil?
From the loss
I want back my face
Take away the mask found in its place
Words tumble out as I race
Almost letting me catch
Elusive first place
To see my future with my face
Without the mask
At last
12/13/03
828 · Apr 2018
My Door is Not Open
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
I wait by my door
My head between my knees
Hands on my face
My eyes flowing with tears
Rocking and rocking trying to pray
No answers to unasked questions today

I think I think not sure what to say
So low so low with nowhere to go
Shake and let the butterflies out
No room for them in my brain
Pulling my hair just to feel pain
Fresh unfettered scars remain

In my bathrobe I lay
In my bathrobe I stay
Not getting dressed
No reason to care

My door will not open
It is no longer there
Bipolar Musings
~Straight Out Of My Mind~
9/16/16
812 · Mar 2018
Frozen Peas
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
I saw a lady in her bathrobe today
Entering the local grocery store
Her eyes were all glazed
She walked around unfazed

She shuffled all alone
Off she went to the freezer
Picked up some frozen peas
Shook her head… do I need these?

I watched for awhile
Then I had to smile
A frail little man
Frantically looking
For the wife he had lost
Just wandering around

I take him and say
She is moments away
There he will find her
Still holding the peas
Not looking behind her
No knowing he found her.
9/16/16
753 · Apr 2018
God Is The Captain
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
Gather up this new love
That was sent from above
Now it is ours to share

So to God send a thank you prayer

Give us inspiration to do for each other
What one could not do alone

Savor each moment as if it were the last
Live in the future, not in the past

Be prepared for sacrifice
Take heavenly advice

Don’t think once
Think twice !

So batten down the hatches
Tie up the mast

God is here at last

To help us ride out the storm
Of love brewing in our hearts

God is the Captain of our love at last
New love defined
Original 10/14/03
Posted 04/28/18
701 · Mar 2018
Oh No Not Me
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
OH  NO

Friends had a lot to say
You should try to get away
He will hurt you someday
It’s a heavy price to pay

NOT ME

He holds me down
Imposing his will over me
Making me fear everyday
Keeping me half not whole
He is so close to his goal
A succubus draining my soul
He took away my light
How could I not see?
It was him not me?

OH NO  NOT  ME

Too late you see
Too late for me
As he leaves me behind
Broken and bruised
Blood on his hands
1/17/18
domestic abuse
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
The butterfly is an ancient symbol of hope, the symbol of new life, and the symbol of those who are bereaved. However, before the beautiful butterfly emerges it must spend time in a cocoon.

It is our human nature to want to assist the butterfly in its attempt to escape from the cocoon; but, if we do release the butterfly prematurely, it will fall to the ground and perish. By its struggle, the butterfly strengthens it wings enabling its survival and flight to freedom.

Our grief in time of sorrow is like the life process of the butterfly. We often spin a cocoon around ourselves to hide the way we feel, our anger, and our desolation. Others may help us in our struggle; we do not need to travel the path of bereavement alone as does the butterfly.  However, the ultimate responsibility is ours. We need to grieve, hurt, cry, be angry, and strive to free ourselves from our own cocoons of grief.  And, hopefully, one day we will emerge like the beautiful butterfly…a stronger, more compassionate and understanding person. Until that time, let the little butterfly on the corner of this page be a symbol of hope, faith and understanding.
I wanted to share this for anyone who needs to see life and death in a simple kind way.  

Twenty years ago I heard this at a memorial service for a colleague. I had the hard copy but thought I had transcribed it on to my word documents. I had shared it many times with friends at various times. Unfortunately my external hard drive died and I lost it completely. I needed it recently and scoured the internet for the butterfly story then gave up. Two days later the original hard copy fell out of a pile of paperwork I had not looked at for years. No coincidence that it came to me in the last place I would have imagined.

The butterfly found me when I needed it the most
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
life is something
you do not revere
in an instant
the words ring clear
shoot to ****

your head says engage
in your passionate rage
as all remnants of humanity disappear


the pain in your brain
goes away once you take aim
on your unsuspecting targets

you think you are just acting
the whole world is your stage
you will be on the news
maybe make the front page
if you take this shot


your victims had lives
now never to be lived
they were cut short
as you honed your deadly sport


you aim and squeeze
they didn’t even have time
to beg or scream please


you don't care
as bullets fly through the air
you feel disconnected
you feel no despair

it won't stop
until you've had
your violent share

you don't have to play fair
there are no rules
when you shoot to ****



Inspired by actual events of a ****** in Ohio 2003
10/31/2003
560 · Mar 2018
Tick Tock
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
You can’t stop time from passing by
No matter the tricks you try
Time passes way too soon
From noon to noon does time consume
By night the phases of  the moon
By day we live by God’s sundial
To mark the time we have
So use it well each passing year
Share it with friends near and dear
Spend it now
Live in the moment
There is no bank of time lost
1/18/18
live life to the fullest
500 · Jul 2019
Happy Birthday
Patricia LeDuc Jul 2019
Happy Birthday Sister Dear
For the 65th anniversary of your birth
That yearly recognition
Of your time spent on earth…
But the last one spent in heaven
So…
I want to send you a present
One that will last forever
One that will never end
So these words I penned…

“Thought we’ve not always been close
You were loved in my heart
Then there’s the matter
Of that “other” body part
I want you to know
How much I cared
I may not have always been there
Or said the right thing
But my love is sent to you
On the whisper of an Angel’s wing”
RIP Dal
July 21, 1954~August 23, 2018

For my sister “Dal”
That “other” body part is the kidney  I gave her years ago
We named her “Tinklebelle”
Both are now gone
493 · Mar 2018
A Number One Son
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
He will always be your number one son
He will always be my mine too

You put the twinkle in his eye
You put the smile on his face
So have I

You’ve seen him laugh
You’ve seen him cry
So have I

You gave him life
A reason for living
So have I

You gave him kindness
You gave him love
So have I

You had the great joy
Of giving birth to a boy
So have I

You have shown him unconditional love
You have lived only for him
So have I

You see
We are not so different
You and I

Yes, we understand

From a child
To a man
The love of
A number one son
Mother and Mother -in- law sharing their Number  One Sons
476 · Apr 2018
Are You Comparing Me?
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
Are you comparing me?
To the others before me
The others in your life
Ex-girlfriends, ex-lovers, ex-wife?
How did I do?
Did I surprise you?
When I showed another side
One you never knew
There are other sides of me I do hide
You need to peel them back layer by layer
There’s no better compliment
That you can pay her
Than by comparing her
To those in your past
But while you are accessing
I am guessing
That is why I asked
Who Are you comparing me to?
~4/29/18 Released~
~11/03/03 Original~

Not my question...it came from the words
409 · Apr 2018
MY MIND ~ YOUR SOUL
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
My Mind is on the other side of Your soul
The one you think you can control
Your soul is a noxious ghoul
Hiding in that foul waste
I see through your face
I know
Of your tremendous deceit
You create chaos
So you won’t be found
Yet there you are
Peeking around
Breaking in to my mind
So that I will never find

~My way alone~
Better to know I’m not your fool
Bipolar Musings
~Straight out of my mind~
Pat LeDuc
4/27/18
405 · Mar 2018
Don't Angels Get Mail ?
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
I sent a Valentine’s Day card to a friend
Filled with get well wishes…
Hoping she was on the mend
I sealed it with heart stickers
On the envelope flap

Got my mail today
And what did I see?
Familiar hearts stickers
On the envelope flap

I thought it was from her
But it was not to be

DECEASED?
I cried
No not her

RETURN TO SENDER?
I didn’t know
How could that be?

UNABLE TO FORWARD?
What do you mean?
Don’t angels get mail?
March 26th 2018
For Liz
1/9/18 Gone too soon.
A horrific way to find about a death
You are never prepared to see those words
Deceased - Return to sender- Unable to forward
I received this in my mail..not knowing she was gone
383 · Apr 2018
Aisle Awhile
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
In the grocery store
I wander down the aisle
Thoughts stray to you
I begin to smile
Haven’t heard your voice
For quite awhile

2 hours 55 minutes 10 seconds
~To Be Exact~

You pop into my mind
Again and again
Can’t stop thinking
What’s he doing?
How soon can we talk again?
Laugh again?
Make love again?

I’m just counting time
In the grocery aisle
10/28/03 ~revised 4/29/18
373 · Mar 2018
On Ever
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
On Ever…
        As Forever…
As you speak…

I hear your voice
        A message it does send
It’s like I’m in
        Another world

My ears ring
       As your words sing
A private song
        To my heart

Let us never part
        Let’s stay together
Work on forever
        I will leave you never

This tie binds
       Does not sever
Our new love is
        A fresh endeavor

Maybe these words
        Are cute and clever
But what I hear
       Speaks on ever

Little did you know
        Your voice carried so …
On Ever...
        As Forever...
Lost and Found
November 30th 2003
March 24th 2018
360 · Mar 2018
Manic No More
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
As I soar around the room
I like it up here
As I fly and I fly and I fly and I fly
I see her down there
Weeping and suffering
Please let me take away her pain
She should be happy not sad.
I go down to let her know I can help
She doesn’t see me she doesn’t care
Is that me I wonder?
As I look down below

I come crashing to the floor
Manic no more
September 7th 2016
339 · Apr 2018
My Question
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
Because you asked
I thought you knew
That I loved and needed you

Always hesitating anew
It’s hard being me
Waiting for you

Hoping you will come through
With the right answer
At the right time

My question:
Will you be mine?


Happy Valentines Day
Pat LeDuc
February 14, 2018
317 · Mar 2018
Wednesdays At Six
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
It’s my night to meet with Liz
To tell her “bout my private biz
She mulls it over then tells me how it really is
You see it’s her job
To listen to me cry and sob
Imagine that…
She gets paid the listen to me

Most therapists say:

“Having a little anxiety attack?
"How about some nice Prozac”
Or
Can’t sleep, feeling lost and alone?
“How about some nice Trazodone”
Or
“Manic Depressive? Feel like a ***?
How about some nice Lithium”

Not Liz…
She gives appropriate drugs
Better yet she gives big hugs
Encourages me my thoughts to share
Teaches me to live again if I dare
To break free from loss and pain
Knowing from the truth I might gain

More free time
For both of us

On
Wednesdays at six
Dedicated to Liz
My therapist for over 15 years.  
She passed January 9th 2018
Original 12/10/04
316 · Apr 2018
I Just Can't..Anymore
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
I can’t hear her voice
I’ve been given no choice

I can’t hold her hand
‘Tis not how I planned

I can’t kiss her cheek
It’s been many a week

I can’t see her face
There is such pain to erase

I can’t brush her hair
She must think I don’t care

I can’t ease her fear
She needs to let me near

I can only feel pain
I’m lost with nothing to gain

So the misery will remain
There is only one way to explain

I am broken to the core
I just can’t…anymore
3/20/04 ~ 02/20/18
For my daughter..I still love you
315 · Apr 2018
DOOMED TO REPEAT
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
I’m sorry it’s over...

You no longer meet my EXPECTATIONS
Loving you was no small feat

You no longer meet my WANTS
I know you play, I know you cheat

You no longer meet my DESIRES
Once white hot passion, now absent of heat

You no longer meet my NEEDS
My dreams shattered by neglect

You no longer meet my LOVE
You fractured my heart

The ending is written
This time complete
Again, once at last
There is no future
Only the past

My mistakes with you
I AM DOOMED TO REPEAT

Lost EXPECTATION

Lost WANTS

Lost DESIRES

Lost NEEDS

Lost LOVE

I’m sorry it’s over
Someone had to say it

DO I NEED TO REPEAT?
12/02/03 revised 4/23/18
308 · Apr 2018
Yes, He Remembers You
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
No one really knows
Where my mind goes
When a circuit blows
When unreality shows
When chaos blows
Into my mind
I usually wake up to find
A version of my life…so unkind
The silver lining in that cloud
Now again unlined
Replaced by doubt, despair and pain

Help me now, I cry
That my life I will regain
Words come:
“Pray to the Lord
No longer refrain
Let his love
Sink into your brain”

That was so easy to explain
Only one thought does remain

“Will He remember me?”
I’ve stepped away so far
“Yes, He knows who you are”
“You are not alone”

Your soul he will feed
To great peace it will lead
No longer will your heart bleed
Let His love encompass your need
In the Lord your troubles are freed

“Oh yes…
He remembers you…”
I'm not all that religious but this is what came to me years ago

Patricia LeDuc
3/26/04 ~Released 4/29/18
291 · Apr 2018
Empty Space
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
Where my heart was
There is an empty space
I leave it that way
Just in case
I find one
To replace
The one you stole
From me

Look me in the eye
Look at my face
This is a condition
Only you can erase

Give back my heart
You broke it apart
Now let your love
Be the glue

To start the repair
Then put it back where
The empty space
Holds its place

Without it I am empty
Without you I am empty
I’m holding a space
For you
1/19/18
282 · Apr 2018
Awake is the New Sleep
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
Confused
Should I sleep all day?
‘Cause I didn’t sleep last night
Midnight
1:00 o’clock
2:00 o’clock
3:00 o’clock
4:00 o’clock
Then more
Watched the dawn break
Then fall asleep
Now caught in a quandary
Will I sleep tonight?
Should I even try?
All over again
Confused
September 30th 2016
278 · Mar 2018
At Long Last…
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
For the PAST
Let mistakes fade
May they be forgotten
Debts marked paid
At long last…

For the PRESENT
Hold tight my hand
Together we now stand
United as one
At long last…

For the FUTURE
Bright, shiny and clear
Hold and keep me near
Forever love found
At long last…

The die is cast
Love steady and fast
Life in the PRESENT
Eyes on the FUTURE
No regrets of the PAST

At long last…
February 26th 2018
275 · Feb 2019
Another Time Another Place
Patricia LeDuc Feb 2019
When you put your hand upon my face
I was transported to a safe place
It helped me come to realize
I had so much pain to erase
But I wasn’t alone…
I drew strength from your touch
Your kindness meant so much
It came from your heart
And went straight to my soul
Making a connection showing me how
To win back my life
To take back control
But I didn’t miss
The wistful look in your eyes
It came as no surprise
As if to say:
“Another time
Another place
Your hand upon my face
No pain to erase
Wondering
What might have been….”
For Michael...your truth...your life....your love
Gone but not forgotten
February 14, 1943 ~ November 30, 2019
270 · Mar 2018
Autumns Way
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
Kids playing in the piles of leaves
That parents had just raked that day
The trees proudly share their leaves
On this lovely Autumn day
You can hear the crunching beneath
As the leaves get older and dry
There is sadness as leaves hit the ground
A part of the life cycle in nature
This has been happening since the beginning of time
In solace leaves know they will return in sequence
After winter, spring and summer have gone
They will live on as they meet in passing
A gift from mother earth
A promise that there is a new beginning
Every season day month and year
9/23/16
267 · Jan 2022
Brains
Patricia LeDuc Jan 2022
It feels like one part of my brain is fighting the other
To win control and claim my sanity
It shouldn’t be that way
265 · Apr 2018
I Need To Be Alone
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
I needed the time alone
   Is what she said on the phone
      His call had set the tone

Never showing up
   He was so abrupt
      His words so corrupt

No reason
   No rhyme
      Not this time

I am on my own
   All alone
      Just like I said on the phone
Original 10/11/03~Released~ 4/04/18
264 · Mar 2018
Love Ya Better
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
Love so fine
So sublime
Never sure
What you might find

Now’s the time
To take the chance
Like this dance?
It’s called romance

Love ya better
Without your pants!!
Sometimes it's the things you don't say
Lost poem now found
October 21st 2003
263 · Apr 2018
Club Of Love Deceived
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
Thoughts in love conceived
Misdeeds in love deceived

Now you say
You are relieved

The burden is lost
But at what cost

Now I have no doubt
I have figured it out

You are the one to lose
Do what you choose

So what if I’m singing the blues
I’ve already paid my membership dues…

To the club of love deceived…
~Not a club I'd want to join again
February 4th 2018
254 · Apr 2018
Fear
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
Fear

I am afraid now
That the words
I am getting
Are a warning
Of future events
I will be mourning
Must put this fear aside
Let the words ride
Express what is inside
From what I am trying to hide
Cannot let fear abide
Original 10/28/03
Posted 4/26/18
243 · Apr 2018
How Was I To Know?
Patricia LeDuc Apr 2018
I realized a mistake was made
The moment the music played
Emotions, conditions, circumstances
Were not thoroughly weighed
But the piper was paid
Vows said…that
Should have been delayed
A curse on a heart betrayed…

His true nature had yet to show
Ugliness, anger began to grow
Uncharted emotions began to flow
Brewing on the surface...
And just slightly below…

This relationship
Came on too soon
On a crooked clock
Broken slightly past noon
This was supposed to be
The time of my life?
I should have said no

But…
How was I to know?
True story
My wedding nightmare
Realized a little too late
Remedied six months later  
Be careful with your heart
Trust that little voice inside you
Original 3/12/04
Updated 4/26/18
240 · Jan 2020
Wicked Shrew
Patricia LeDuc Jan 2020
The truth I will  reveal
There’s a ***** inside of me
One I hope you will never see
I’d hide it away
Forever and a day
If I had my way

I can be petty and mean
Yell, swear and scream
Be unreasonable
Unrelenting
Never thinking
I might be wrong

Oh no instead
My position I always defend
Sometimes until the bitter end

This may be more
Than you bargained for
Or are willing to contend

So hear these words
I will be different
My new heart grew

So **** the wicked shrew
Who ruled before
I met you
220 · Mar 2018
Face In The Woods
Patricia LeDuc Mar 2018
there is a face in the woods
where no one can see

banished for good
held captive for years

afraid to share her splendor
she shows only her face
for the woods to embrace

she has a body no one can see
her legs firmly rooted
in the moss by the tree

she watches in the snow
she has nowhere to go

she waits in the mist
longing to be kissed
by the one to set her free

there is something you see
but are unwilling to believe

the face in the woods…
is me

now i am found
finally freed
2/15/18
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