I have a little pocket, deep inside my mind
Where I throw out all my secrets, I want to leave behind
It can be good to remember but sometimes better to forget
Certain things and places, or even people that I've met
I keep my darkest moments,  buried in this hole
Because everybody's got a secret, they'll never tell a soul

If you catch me fishing for compliments or looking for a fight
I just need to know I'm adequate, that everything's alright
I'm anxiously insecure, I easily regret
Mistakes are always on my mind, too heavy to forget
I'm suspicious of the little things, a skeptic to the core
Small changes make me nervous, I feel generally unsure
I'll always keep on asking things when I already know
Because anything can happen, people come and people go
That's why I need your confidence each and every day
I just need some reassurance so that I can be okay

and just this once, I reached out into the darkness
I answered the beckoning call
I did not run away or slow my step
wondering if I had done something utterly terrible
or something absolutely amazing
unable to resist the hypnotizing appeal
because who doesn't want to stand on the edge of something dangerous?

I don't know why,
but it always starts with an invitation
to dinner.
Excitement always turns to dread
when I sit across from you at the table.
You fold your hands,
while I play with the table cloth.
I wait.
For those words
"we need to talk"
or
"there's something I need to tell you"
I know what follows after those words
A death of family or a friend
A cheating parent confession
Loss of a job
Yet another time we are forced to move to a new home
or the worst words
"it's not working out"
the same poor excuses pour out of your mouth
faster than the waitress can refill my beverage
so please,
don't ever ask why I cancel our "Dinner Plans"

You always whispered when you spoke
Everyone around you leaning in,
Hanging on every word, as if it were a lifeline
You always meander about, never truly belonging anywhere
Your eyes shift ever so slightly to take in your surroundings
Never blinking
Dark deep portals of unknown
I can always feel your gaze
On my back
Your stare touches my silhouette as I anxiously try to busy myself with anything but meeting your eyes
A blush spreads down my cheeks and neck
As I'm compelled to look your way
Only to regret it as I catch your ruthless smirk
You tease without even making a move
I fail to think of clever retorts as I try to recover my blunder
I wince with each step you take closer to me
When at last you are before me
I dare not look up as you tower over me,
Your hand weighing down heavily on my shoulder
I flinch as you lean in to whisper...
And then my mind is already unfaithful.

This is only our second encounter
but all hesitation is gone from your actions
I walked into the lair of a merciless monster
igniting a domino of reactions
my cheeks flushed as I'm held by this beast
that I find myself pinned underneath
hot breath pours out on my neck
as my ears are grazed by your teeth
my heart pounds against your chest
your hands roughly comb through my hair
I squirm, submerged in your arms
continually gasping for air
your mouth desperately searching for mine
I finally succumb to your kiss
the problem with a fatal attractions,
is deciphering what's hell and what's bliss

I heard this all from the grapevine,
curiosity killed the cat…
so… seems unlikely that my dog killed your chickens
just give the poor dog a bone
it's pretty much genetics
all that nature versus nurture
even he makes mistakes…
let's let boys be boys
bygones be bygones
you should always love your neighbor
I know you eat chicken too
we can't be having the *** calling all the kettles black
you know what they say?
If you can't beat 'em,
                                          join 'em.

I fell in love with Lust
with his beady greedy eyes
those wandering hands
such a haughty smirk
each scratch and bite, inviting
as he stole each selfish kiss
I fell deeper into his arms
the lack of emotion, and superficial charm.
I was twisted around callous fingers
Each meeting an adventure.
Each encounter so exciting.
The perfect romance.

But when Lust fell in love with me…
it was boring, he was too sweet
Too kind, too predictable.
I craved something else,
You might say, I became  Lust
and then found myself another love.

As I open the door

The cold engulfs me first
raising hairs on my neck, shivers down my spine, prickles on my scalp

Next the smell
so mild, pleasant, crisp. similar to rain or dew
my lungs take in this air for the first time

The light begins to peek over the mountains
clearing the fog, cutting away the dark

The quiet is both a comfort and an uneasiness
Only the earth under my feet whispers as I walk the dirt path

The lake unblemished, like a mirror for the sky to look upon
no wind, no waves, no life

standing there, absorbing the surroundings
I am the one to break the silence, to shatter the utopia
as I drop the pebble in the waters…

these ripples go on                                                              *­Forever

Why is everything I desire miles away?

Only to be seen through a looking glass.

Who would have guessed I was blind,

And looking through the wrong side of a telescope?

All along I thought my happiness was just
                                                                         out
                                                                                 of
                                                                                      reach.

Life, I know you don't believe me
But you are just a lie
Giving people so much hope
Just to take it when we die

So love is really nothing
Time is the only truth
We lose each minute as it passes
Just like we lose our youth

With the kiss of life
and the sting of death
We laugh and cry
Till our final breath

No ease from worries
Until we've died
Life was my lover
But death, my bride

Many brave warriors
            dared to scale it
         some succeeded.
   Mountain men were
challenged to climb it
                    a few fell
         some persevered.
the townspeople gazed
    at it from the village
                           in awe
               
                
                But only you                 jumped.

Both* the apple and your lips were *poison
Your mouth tainted with the forbidden fruit.

But I wanted you
I wasn't unsuspecting.

you were the snake
everyone knew you were the villain.

And that is why I kissed you
and took your deadly gift.

Hear me thunder, hear me roar
weapons master, god of war
darkness my *****,  sword my *****
Death, the only paramour

Blood is the only common sight
beware my claws, fear my bite
no one will ever see the light
I am the creature of the night

Destruction paths I always leave
scales of steel dwell underneath
wings of rage and dagger teeth
gold I drink, and fire breathe

have you courage, are you brave?
venture then, into my cave
There's not one life that I will save
Challenge me? become my slave.

I planted an idea in your mind
with my eyes
I pulled wool over your head and heart
with my lies
I carried you along my stories
so sweet
I made a small trail, leaving hints
with each treat
you followed behind
eager for more
and had not a clue
what plans were in store
deep in the dark
lost in the wood
there is no safety
no creatures of good
once you are alone
what a feast I will eat
for I am the wolf
and now you're my sheep.

words will never be enough
no matter what you say
words can't ever change my mind
or have my opinion sway
words won't alter how I feel
words cannot help or hide
the truth that we have always known
the truth that's been inside
that words will NEVER be enough
because words are full of lies
words can't hold my face or hands
or look me in the eyes
but then again you can't do that
you were too afraid
of all the silly words you said
and the promises you made
at first your words were enough
I thought that you were true
I believed you even when,
you said, "I love you"
so now, words will never be enough
because your words were fake
if you think your words will save you now
that is a mistake.

Giving kisses won't take back the excuses you gave
an embrace can't erase what you did
"good deeds" don't make up for the terrible ones
being here now doesn't change that you hid
words won't rebuild the bridges you burned
silence won't forget the words that were spoken
time won't heal the wounds you inflicted
good intentions can't remake what was broken
lending a hand won't wipe old tears away
telling the truth won't atone for your lies
being friendly doesn't revoke you as a traitor
there is no gift that could un-sever our ties
there is no response in which I answer your call
no plead that would sway my last choice
nothing is persuading my mind otherwise
I can't stand the sound of you voice
it doesn't matter what you believe
i don't care if you thinks it's a crime
nothing you do will break down these walls
sorry for wasting your time

Finding new frustrations
which add to the ones you gave me
fighting what I already know
knowing my life is crazy
telling myself it's over
wondering why i still fell pain
wanting to forget about you
to you it was just a game
hating that I'm still losing
sulking cuz I still remember
spinning and still can't see straight
boiling when I see you with her
looking for a brighter future
wanting to walk inside the past
sitting since I can't stand it anymore
knowing it would never last
yelling when I know you can't hear
thinking that you really should
hoping that you'd never move on
breaking since I knew you would
hurting now that I understand
Laughing because it was so easy
crying when I should have fixed it
dying while you blame me

I've been sitting here.
Reading a book.
Browsing the news paper.
Sipping my tea. (ironically)
It's a little chilly to be outside.
Aside from you...
no one else is around.

You are several
empty
tables away.
Busy in your notebook.
Or is it  a journal?
You haven't looked up,
since you sat down.

I glance at you
on occasion.
but you're always busy.
I had hoped to catch you eye,
but you just won't
look up.
So, I'm still sitting here.

Love is a painted picture

by each artist,

who makes it real.

It's more than an emotion…

Even the heartless,

can feel.

The new definition of forbidden
is "attempt to obtain"
to try with hopes of success
in the game of the insane
the outcome is always evident
the stakes are always high
a battle sometimes imminent
but the limit is the sky
the game is a labyrinth
the goal is undefined
looking for the rules?
just read between the lines
the losers are complaining
the sly ones always win
if you want to taste the forbidden
now's a good time to begin

It started with an itch
something so mild and unexpected
barely brought into existence, yet there
once acquainted to its surroundings
it slowly grew into a being
it was selfish, demanding
this creature knew only hunger
its own desire fueling its every action
pushing and pulling at everything
screaming and crying out so loudly
it was the only thing that was heard
finally receiving the attention
that it longed for
then...
it vanished

no sooner than it had taken
for it to become something,

it then fades into nothing.
Forgotten.

I've found you irresistible
these thoughts uncontrollable
our meetings so desirable
each emotion's indescribable
my lust unsatisfiable
your touch is undeniable
but I am unreliable
please- don't trust me

I don't want to be anyone anymore
anyways, what's there left to live for?
is there any light?  I see a darkness in me
is being outcast, what is now considered free?
they tell me to be someone, somewhere
but I cant be myself
so I walk around in circles
trying to be somebody else
chasing tails and broken dreams
is it all a lost cause?
can we move on
why do we wait for an applause?
I'm no one, and I've gone no where
only my memories to hold
I was different before,
I once had a heart, now I'm only cold

There are traitors in the castle
Hypocrites and liars
Spreading rumors, keeping secrets
Lighting silent fires
Pacing in the bedrooms
Quiet in the halls
Sneaking after midnight
Conspiring behind walls
Pretending to be royalty
Called themselves "king and queen"
Throwing out words like garbage
Not saying what they mean
Not taking time to think
Just playing a silly game
Betraying flesh and blood
not feeling any shame
Full of carelessness and greediness
But acting so sincere
Watching with fake smiles and laughter
Ignoring every tear
Throwing "traitors" in the dungeon
While deceiving on the thrown
Punishing those "committing crimes"
Not looking at their own
There were traitors in the castle
Hypocrites and liars
Bargaining with enemies
Igniting silent fires
Now there is no castle
No whispers in the halls
Nothing hiding behind doors
All that's standing are the walls

i've been contemplating, contemplation
running rampant in imagination
my mind had been emaciated
now emancipation is long awaited
the plot's under development
some say it's not intelligent
but being rowdy has some gain
living life without restrain
searching, seeking, self-aware
within a secret love affair
so popular with the profane
human nature can't explain
trying to make lemonade
trapped inside a masquerade
confident inside the mind
leaving others far behind
letting loose the known restrictions
fighting, failing those addictions
lying in order to conceal
the truth is, I cannot feel
but there is still satisfaction
watching every reaction
are these actions of the insane?
life becomes a giant game
then the thoughts begin to fade
and the ideas that they have made
I start to contemplate again
the game's impossible to win