2:14 in the morning
Haven't slept for three days
My eyes are heavy
My thoughts are crazy
Regrets
Mistakes
Judgments
Happy moments
Sad ones
Things I wish I did
Things I don't know why I did
My eyes are heavy
I need my thoughts to be empty
Then
I touched myself down there
It's wet
I keep on caressing
Like someone was touching
And I know I'm almost there
Until I see myself
Hanging on the ceiling
On the rest room
On the kitchen
But I'm almost there
Until I see blood
In my head
In my wrist
A slit on my neck
And my eyes are heavy
And I'm almost there
The next thing I know
It's 2:14 in the morning
The next day after.

She was the fairest of them all.
After she ran away from the ******, queen's brother
She found the seven dwarfs, took care of her
But they want her eyes, so their neck, she sliced
Stabbed the old woman who gave her apple
Now in her hands are rope
Place it on the prince's neck and *****
Tounge tying his lips on her dummy's course
She found it so gross!
She's Snow White, not pure at all
But still, she is the fairest of them all.

She was born to be a lady
But raised to have a military body
She killed thousands of enemies
Brought hundred of heads to the king
And her reward was only praising
When she went home, her father told
"Change yourelf and look for husband now"
Stabbing his heart was her answer
She undressed herself and cut her breast and said
"You can't tell me what to do,
This my life and this how I'll live"

I never believed in "god",
But everytime before I sleep
I have a silent prayer;
"𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘦"
"𝘒𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸"
"𝘐'𝘮 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥, 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘨𝘰"
Over and over and over,
Thinking "he" might hear me
And punish me to live longer

Today will be my day!
Everything will be okay
I will not astray
I will make my way
Anxiety will breakaway
Only happiness will stay
This will be my headway
My life will never be a cliché
I'll live my life until I decay

She woke up from a nightmare
A strange Prince was toung tying his lips to her
She never wanted to be engaged
So she poisoned the king and killed everybody at her young age
When the poor Prince arrived to save her
She throws some gas and put him on fire!
She says "Prince are not my interest,"
"I just want to sleep and have a beauty rest"

This sea is for us
You have guns and we have none
Give fish or be shot

In her yellow gown that so bright,
Her most pretty face shines
In her hands she hold a knife
And stabbed everyone—
Everyone that pushes her
To marry the old man in the mansion.
And before she killed the last one,
Her sisters screamed
At the top of their lungs
"You're a beast! You're a beast!"

This is not a poem.
This is just a clichè story
About a girl.
A girl who always laugh.
Who always smile.
Who is always full of happiness.
About the same girl
Who also cry every night.
Who's broken inside.
Who always wanted to die.
This is just a clichè story.

This is not a poem.
This is a hidden plot
Of that girl
Living in a clichè story.
Where she enters to the house
Of unexpcted people
They tell nothing to her
That make her so unease
But someone says;
"It is okay to cry if wanted to"
So,
She cry. Cry. Cry. And cry
For the reason of nothing she is crying
They let her cry.
They let her tell her story.
They are just there.
Not just watching,
Not talking.
Not judging.
They are just there.
Not just watching.
Only listening
Only understanding.
They are the people
She always wanted to have.

This is not a poem.
This is just a clichè story,
Having a fake hidden plot—
Let's make it real.

Words are just words,
Letters combined together
To give meaning into something
Words are just words,
It shouldn't weigh you
But, words can linger and haunt you
Just like the day i learned the word "dialysis"
February 6, 2022; 10:49PM
It doesn't bother, a fun word in tongue
Until I googled it —
Felt its weight,
It's overwhelming.
Since then, I am crying.
If words are just  words,
Why this word aches me so much?
If the word doesn't exist,
Will I suffer from this?

Drop. Drop
Little rain drop fall

Drop. Drop
Raindrops are like human afterall
Transparent, small and fragile

Drop. Drop
Little rain drop hit the ground

Drop. Drop
Raindrops are humans when break down
Crashed into pieces, no where to found

Drop. Drop
Raindrops start to heavy.
People showered happily

Drop. Drop
People are people afterall
We love to see someone's fall

The night sky is full of stars
Just like my mind that are full of thoughts—
About me, about you, about us
But the thoughts wasn't what I like
But, the memories we shared.
Like the sun, as it sets into night
My feelings was also fading, loosing
And somehow, I like it.
To breathe again back to life
That is what I wish for
I'm glad, it is happening.

For her to find true love
She trade her voice for a feet
Thought she's going to walk the aisle with the prince
She got rejected, he marry other instead
So she cut his tongue and bring with her
To redeem her tails again,
She sew her legs with the Prince flesh
She swam all the way to her home
She may not loved back
But she's happy to have him.

To whoever reading this
May your heart be at peace
Even you woke up late this morning
Even you got stuck in traffic
Even in work you got tardy
Even your work filled up
Even your stomach almost empty
Even your task is not done
Even you feel you are not enough
But
You are Enough
And your heart needs to be happy
Because today,
You have done enough.

My name will be embossed
In every letters you stroke
I will always be remembered
In this room of four corner
As I stepped outside
Hear a round of applause
A girl walking through her dream
With a heart full of fear and scream
But she see future in uncertainty
World, get ready with me.