Never hesitate
When the back of our hands touches
Do you feel the urges?
Hold my hand
Hold me tight
Don't let go
Never let go

How many days have you been alive
In this world where your parents put you in without your consent
I guess million days like I am

How many times you've been on ****** days
Where everything is ****** up from day to night
Thousand times, right?

How many people called you, bullied you
Leaving words a mark on your every part
I bet a hundred

How many demons you have in yor mind right now
Whispering you to end things
Assuring you
Lying to you
I know it's not lower than ten

How many YOUs do we have
That makes everything so lovely with a smile
We only have ONE

You may have a billion reason to end yourself
But your existence that makes people around you so lovely is the most beautiful reason why you don't have to.

I am happy to feel your existence

I like how we became
As stranger, as a friend, as a lover

I like how you speak
    You make me smile, you make me laugh
Are you catching my attention?

I like those late night walks
    And those non sense talks
Slow down your pacing, or this trip will end

I like how the back of our hands touches
    Without knowing, it intertwined
It looks so cute together

I like those warm hugs and head kisses
    It feels like home
A lovely home

I like you
    The way I like the moon and stars
May we make this last.

I am too happy
        to write a poem,
Words can't describe my feelings

I am too busy
         to write a poem,
Crumpled paper on the floor

I am too sad
         to write a poem,
My mind is not here

I am unmotivated
        to write a poem,
I need motivation

I have too many excuses
          why I cannot write anymore,
but I want to, i just cant

When she was 5,
Her only dream was to fly—
Like a bird wandering the world,
Like a butterfly dancing with the flowers
A bug playing with the wind.

She's finally 18
And still wishing to fly—
Away from sadness,
From heartaches
From pains.
And for a second,
She lived with her dreams
And vanished with it then.

If the universe is fair
There will always be a happy pair

Love will be back to you
When you love him too

You will live with your dream
Live it with no pain and scream

Everyday you are happy
Your cup is always full of tea

No one will have a sad face
Looking for happinesa like a race

If the universe is fair
No one will risk and dare

This world will be a monochrome
Ugly like an old gnome

The universe may not be fair
But at least you learned to care

"What do you want?"
It keeps on repeating
Like the old vinyl I bought yesterday
Enter the University for my parents
Took this course based on my friends
Choose this path 'cause someone says
Did I really want this life
Life like a zombie
Fed by others brain
"What do you want?"
I have the answers in my hand
To write is what makes me happy
To understand you
That's what I really wanted to do
"What do you want?"
Am I late to tell
THIS IS WHAT I WANT.

and the devil works harder this time
painted the city with red
promised the land with unity and lies
red, the color of the blood in their hands

but, i still believe tomorrow will be better
the red will be covered in white,
symbolizes the hope and truth
tomorrow shall be pink


🌸🌼🌸

Love is not perfect.
Such as a day,—
It can be sunny in the morning,
Then partly cloudy in the afternoon—
You can feel in love this time,
Then suddenly, devastated.
Because,
Love is imperfect.
But, that is love.
It will make laugh
It will make you cry.
It will make you happy
It will make you sad.
It will give you
So much emotions
Then left you emotionless.
And it is always nice
To be in love.

Tonight
I'm wearing a black see-through dress
I looked in the mirror, I thought I will see myself
Brown skin
Short legs
Fat bellies
My insecurities
But I know this is not me, I know
I take a knife and peel myself
I started to my ring finger
Skin stretched to my elbow
I'm not crying
I'm hurting
Blood's dripping
Tears are not falling
I thought I have a fresh red flesh
But it is black
Blacker than black
And I'm laughing
Because this is me, the real me.
How did this happened?
Maybe I breathe the air I thought that was air
Or drink the water I thought that was water
Or eat the food I thought was food
Or maybe..
I was rottening in hell. Alive.
But this is me. The real me
And my skin covers more than what I know
And my dress cover more than my insecurities
And myself covers myself
Tomorrow
I will not wear my see-through dress again

Her smile makes his heart beat,
Her eyes makes him melt
Her laugh is a song to his ears
Her voice stucked in his mind
Her body makes him dance
In the wilderness of the night.
Without her, he would die...
~
His smile is a knife in her heart
His eyes left her bruises in every part.
His laugh is a demon in her mind
His voice is a sound of a nightmare.
His body takes her to the fire
Of wilderness
His touch gives her wound.
With him, she literally die...

I was born
To love
Sunflowers
Unicorns
Rainbows
Pastel colors
Summer
Day
Lipsticks
Love Songs
Then,
I met you
And
You taught me
Dandelions
Ravens
Meteor showers
Black
Rain
Night
Poems
Rock music
Then,
I fell inloved
With everything
That you taught
And
I realized
I was born
To love you.

Tonight, i want to write
Not a poem
Nor a story
A diary entry?
A life update maybe
Should i jot it on a piece of paper?
Or my notes app is better?
I don't know where to start
It's been a while
But life is better lately
It is sickening mostly
But, we're getting there
One step at a time
We're going better
How about you?
How are you?

Learn to breathe in,
Not just the air filled with Oxygen but also
The calmness.
The positivity.
The joy and happiness.
The love.
The contentment.
The beauty of life.

Learn to breathe out.
Not just the air full
Of carbon dioxide but also
The stress.
The negativity.
The sadness and anger.
The hate.
The insecurities.
The **** of life.

Restless
In this war where enemy can'tsee
Something out there is scary
Should I breathe?
Should I touch?
If I cry
Will I die?

Restless it is
In the comfort of your home
You're still restless

When you close your eyes
You drown
When it is open
You frown

You sleep all day
And wake up tired
You're awake all night
And still tired

Restless
This is how the world
Rest

Today is a normal day
Just like yesterday
It's sunny
All colors are flashing
But, nothing strikes at me
Just like yesterday
The feeling is the same
Boring
Lifeless

I've been sick for so long
It's inside, you know
There is a hollow
I am trying to patch
They say cry for help
And there is
But no one will understand
Will you understand?
If I choose Z
From my A-Z plan
Will you understand?

Today is a normal day
Just like yesterday
But, today will be different
Still boring
And then
Lifeless

This is world

In the eye of no one
In the eye of 22

Kindness is selective
If I benefit more from you
I'll lend a hand

Children are matured
Adults have tantrums
Both get hurt
With stupid words

I bow not to respect
I bow to check
My phone vibrates
Then rang twice
***? Cool!

She loves him
She loves her
He loves him
This is love

The world is not dark
More than I thought
It's a colorful rainbow

It is not good
It is not bad

This is world

Sometimes you asks
"What's the universe plan?"
You wonder,
People around you move forward,
Then, you are here —
Still here
Stuck from the beginning
Time passes,
But still in the beginning.
You did your best
But then you ask
"Did you really do your best?"

People say "Calm—
You are where you are right now
Everything are according to life's plan"
I hope I can choose my place.
I hope I can choose the battle I can fight.
I hope that life didn't choose me for this.
I am doing my best to follow the life's plan.
Or maybe I am not

I've had my first love when I was 8,
Nothing special to him
He's just a boy I just always played with
I don't remember his face anymore

I've had my first love when I was 12
He's the smartest boy in class
But we graduated
Parted our ways

I've had my first love when I was 14
High school, a year older
She had a girlfriend back then
She's my friend

I've had my first love when I was 16
A classmate
I told him in front of class I like him
He smiled, said nothing back

I've had my first love when I was 17
3 years older than me
Admired him for 4 years
And sometimes, I still remember him

I've had my first love when I was 21
He found me at the time when I was not really looking
He is my first in everything.
And it always feel like first time

It's first love
No matter how I looked at it
The feeling are the same
For a new experience