Sleep my brain in slumber adamant wake
Not to care and toil       this social shroud
Pain wracked and fevered is but a twining
Guilt driven on thy mortal countenance
A troubled mask en-fleshed to be sloughed away
In gay revelries golden accoutrements
And pleasured senses six brimfilling
Your deep unfathomed capacity insatiably
Human and fierce thought instincts birth desire
Grasping at all that does appear as self
Manifestation you are not merely
What they say you are in their reflexive
Animal nature built piece by aggregate piece
The low dull beasts that do dimly follow
This course are constrained through lack of psychic
Force to be the graven drives inherent
But not for you is such a fate decreed
Burst your evolved chains lashing you to the poor
The sick the weeping multitudes groan shaped
And gasping for a breath of hope to touch
Their conditional lives it is not now your task
To labor the endless battle wasting
Time and wealth and fleeting life to help those
Who can truly only help themselves why wear
The worried furrows when a throe-less smooth
Complexion is garnered with but little cost
So sleep my brain peaceful in soft slumber
Adamant               wake not to care and toil

"Sloughed"



clutched in titanium claws
movement a toy forgotten
you entreat in front of the afferent
            freight train
it journeys right through you
not this after not this recedes
memory     a lacuna
body     sloughed

"Slowly Slowly Learning Is"


Slowly slowly learning is
And very difficult too
Many times this will has faded
Quickly leaving what i do not know
The name of but that feels as dull abrasions
In this mind forever grasping at the touch
Of sense creations till the jewel
In the lotus blossoms from the muddled
Froth revolving in the space between
The ears called self existing

I can not smash enough
To cause emptiness
Nor dream so blank
Nor sleep so dead
As emptiness

the generation of knowledge
a task an event a time period
birthed in ignorance
no future thought just now
over and over creation here
the window of memory closed
on the thousands who first
built fire understanding nothing
except burnt fingers smokey eyes

I can hate you so EASILY it frightens me
                       and hurts me too       two is not better
                       than one       one is and there's no words
                       for it except weirdys that
                       confuse more than their share
                       of SENTIENT beings all
                       movers and movement perhaps a
                       time-space-mind-thing
                Who knows?       does ANYBODY know?       if
                       YOU knew it would you KNOW it
                       or just BE it?
                Does a frogs mind MEANDER?
                Did Neanderthal think shhe was
                       the ULTIMATE do we?

                Have what it takes       yes in an
                       infinite way we travel babble
                       ravel and unravel by mandate
                       till choice is caused to appear

                A concept is born!!!!

                An appendage is groaned and functions
                       bringing with it sense
                       sations      sens      er      and
                       sense plus a bit of err
                       or created by the mast      er
                       magician fooler mara satan
                       and we see
                       what it says we see
                       why?
                       fill in the blanks
                But it can die!

                Oh Yah the big die-O!       eating
                       up eating up never full eater
                       upper nothin but anoth
                       er concept MAN MADE!
                Err or err or is my soul
                       i feels pain from you and
                       thinks thoughts from you and
                       can not be other than what
                       i am you change me change you
                       change me change you CHANGE YOU
                       WILL YOU CHANGE! change me
                       change you

                The never ending poem life story
                       universe is ignorance fiction
                       some say      some pray      otherwise
                       there'd be a whole lot more
                       really mean sonsabitches walkin
                       around

                Dear God
                       i hear voices in my head
                       all the time am i ever glad
                       your lips are movin
                If YOU shouted loudly enough in
                       a forest with nobody around
                       will a tree fall?
                And why did YOU put the moon
                       in a bucket of water?

if you don't read this
   you are just full of ****
dooyapp dooyapp dooyapp
   dooyapp
  
if you believe what i wrote
   you're just a puppet on a rope
dooyapp dooyapp dooyapp
           dooyapp

"So Mandatory"


he felt she he they touched
on a layer deeper beyond
conscious
electric propel satisfied
unity of whole quiver
so aggregate so mandatory

things else and other than
perspire wish for
this gone and gone away past
the door opens to need
and must again
like an infant everything

I search a common ground
To find myself
Here I am with legion
We all look alike
So many
So beautiful

"Some"


Some
Who try to be, other
Than they are
Succeed
In a, twisted
Sort of way
Some
Who are merely, being
Themselves
Live in cages
Tended by their
Self appointed keepers
Paying a
Stiff penalty
For their heinous crime
Of never learning
To act

"Some Assembly Required"




look at me
is not me
at most moments
read this and experience
( try does not exist )
a moment of you
is the Holy of Holyies
not yet born
an assemblage
of place and time
form
in conjunction
with
breathe in breathe out
God

"Some Joke"


I walk ten million miles in circles
Touching again and again fire then ice
For the ouch!    ahhhh      ouch!    ahhhh
       some joke

Stimulate me enough
And I will ******* something
Upon you
A mimicry of your passion
Perhaps.....or
A sub-conscious YES!NO!NO!YES!NO!YES!
Perhaps.....or
A blinding reflex of angst
Perhaps.....or
A thoughtful, rational, response?

Sometimes I hate
You
Sometimes me
Anger boils blood
And I seethe
I can learn
Other ways
If I choose
Imperfect human
Ways
If I choose
If I practice
If I choose

what is a dreamer
but a you and me
never felt a dream song
just moments of the now

my mind is a travesty
yours is so much more
your head filled with majesty
mine can see no more

what is a now eternity
you hear my infant song
again is just an emptyness
again a simple poem

what is does a dreamer dream
no thought unique
i hear a bit of everyone
and all we do is one

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend I"


You talk and talk and talk and often I
Do not understand on purpose, yet
You are my friend, and I am yours. To that
Vagrant swirling of chance that formed the why
Of our meeting, I am grateful. To my
Own, and your own, conscious willing effort,
I seek to impart strength through remembrance. What
Numbered hours of shared reverie we ply
The future with, are ours to choose. (Let us
Choose many my friend.) Alone, we wander
And wonder amid eternity as
Blind men groping, together, we garner
The will to see, and accept, realities.
Thus, with co-joined thoughts, we travel further.

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend II"

Forever is a fiction, or so you
Said. A dreamy concept to soothe the fears
Of children. A trick of imagery that's
To be outgrown as is Santa Claus. Do
I disagree? No! But we dream dreams to
Cause a feel within us, and this feel is
A firmness born of a vapor, and who is
To judge another man's vapors?, his bones to
Stand upright. Do our own values clutched at
Freely blossom life more truthful than theirs?
We often act so. In searching for comfort
We can and do deny the life of millions.
For all hearts yearn to know a sure form, yet
The various shapes of soul, are endless.

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend III"


There was shock when the thought, I am but one
Of many, started to crystallize. Fear
And a great loneliness pierced me. So near
A death of self bore down upon me I broke
My spirit in an effort to escape. None
Of all I knew could comfort, an earnest tear
Frightened them. Brought back to awareness their
Own dripping wounds which they fought to ignore.
Running from pain, such a useless, normal
Occurrence. Kills often. In many hidden
Ways we flee what we wish did not exist, all
For naught, such journeys are circular. But when
A crushing truth grabs you and shakes you until
The whole universe is spinning, what then?

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend IV"


You merely smiled when I said this till you
Saw my eyes and the gnawing fear in them
And knew that I was serious. Then calm
And slow you reached across the table to
Take my hand in yours and held it just so
Between both your own, and said, This may seem
To simple to be of much use, and no gleam
Of magic light renders it perfect to
Cure in an instant, but just an honest
Caring acceptance, from one, to another
Who is suffering, is a priceless, ancient
Balm.            And so we sat quiet together, for
An hour, hand in hand, in the silence,
Sharing a gift of life, touching each other.

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend IX "


You fool yourself so much i gape
In awe at the continued survival
Of your being. Such self serving drivel
Spews from those lips in bent effort to shape
A comfort pleasing to your limitless
Myopic views, tears and anguish deeply
Flow within. Yet i know this mind display
Grows not in your gray wrinkled sphere rootless.
The sentient race revolves around some
Vast constellation, a cogent cosmos
Constrained by physics pure beauty to course
Elliptic and mandatory. Till from
New thoughts grappled leaps new sight and release.
How many journeys needed for this peace?

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend V"


We have walked often in the woods away
From the pounding city which is home sweet
Home. I like stony dirt best. The owlet
In the branches is your sought for Holy.
We both realize the wonder, softly
Breathing the world with our souls. A cat
Human, and a shoe scuffling human that
Prays for dry sunshine. Leaves, green or motley
Fill the universe, for a short dream time.
We have shared miles and miles of talking that's
Soon forgotten, enjoying it. Once, I made
You swear an oath never to tell to fools
The deep secret that holds me to nature,
Silkily bound,       I love smelling the rocks.

If you die, you shall surely be reborn.
A finger pointing to what? You always
Say these words with seeming knowledge of ways
Divine, but i sense the hollow forlorn
Timber of your voice praying for support
To self existence. You want what again
Comes to be to be YOU! Without this boon
In mind your small now trembles at the root.
As does mine. The answer still unknown i
Think for most earthly walkers will take shape
In all perhaps, or not. But the late great
I continued throughout time seems a lie
To this simple form, that's lit from somewhere to
Cast its shadow on the fabric of you.

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend VI "


I've told you of my many mind changes
Not just the surface dross, but the living
Core of the root. The blurred symptoms bending
My sight to destruction, the hate of ages
Thriving within, the tainted defenses
Of ego that burned pain with their weak soothing,
This I told you and more. The thorned purging
Of childhood's conjecture, the strength that is
Formed, sturdy and deep, in one days effort,
The acceptance of self, which slow but true
Did lift, this I told you and more. And the vast
Labors of molding the light and dark shape
That frames my world, now glinting a soft burst
Of love's color, this I've told you, and more.

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend VII "


Sundry afternoons of quiet words that
I willingly inhaled deeply have changed
My egocentric view,     somewhat. A maimed
Creature, i called it the universe, went
Splat, from a thousand miles up. Funny, but
The falling hurt the most. What dreams i lived
Before were potable, in a mind dead
Infinite way. I see beyond the ****
Now. We all may invision a sublime peace
Yet the earth is mostly anular        I
Did not want to know this. It did not please
Me to feel this rough thought, so i played my
Favorite magic game, and lost it in a crease
Of brain, while floating in a purple sky.

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend VIII "


We have thrown many hollow words at each
Other in fits of spite and calumny.
Hitting the mark has been very easy
For both of us. I sometimes try to leach
A fawned approval, and in secret reach
Out to shape you into what i truly
Wish existed. You, can with childish glee
Lie about anything, or deign to teach
Me of your rickety opinions as
If they were life's first law. But these course, bare
Faults that sting do not ensphere and compass
Our union, nor do we gasp unaware
Of just remorse, and blooms one clear thought that's
Held jointly,       perfect people live elsewhere.

You are such a faithful mirror i stand
Close to see myself as best i can. Which
Is hard to do with both eyes closed in such
Fierce a fashion as is my habit and
Pattern. But here and now this you and i
Walk affirmed to one another without
Twisting our minds to suit and please the thoughts
Trailing mud arisen from the rank sty
Of selfishness in the so called other.
Some may see a forced bond with jostling dance.
Let the blind bang their heads in ignorance.
United in chords of friendship freer
Than life, or death perhaps, we move between
The narrow gates to search for hell, and heaven.

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend X "



You are such a faithful mirror i stand
Close to see myself as best i can. Which
Is hard to do with both eyes closed in such
Fierce a fashion as is my habit and
Pattern. But here and now this you and i
Walk affirmed to one another without
Twisting our minds to suit and please the thoughts
Trailing mud arisen from the rank sty
Of selfishness in the so called other.
Some may see a forced bond with jostling dance.
Let the blind bang their heads in ignorance.
United in chords of friendship freer
Than life, or death perhaps, we move between
The narrow gates to search for hell, and heaven.

We do so hard grasp these nascent bodies
Of thought that any occurrence of change
Brings with it pain. Deceitful aspect strange
This attribute of sentience. Shared lies
Self formed and self believed, and fierce beloved
Distract the known conscious moment again
And again in heroic effort vain
To shut out the ego damning dreaded
Truth of universal equanimity
Non specific to the fabricate me
The i perceiving. No answers can be
Found to malformed questions. The path to see
Begins with forgetting. But to uproot dreams
Of self repeatedly lived, hatedly looms.

I've told you of my many mind changes
Not just the surface dross, but the living
Core of the root. The blurred symptoms bending
My sight to destruction, the hate of ages
Thriving within, the tainted defences
Of ego that burned pain with their weak soothing,
This I told you and more. The thorned purging
Of childhood's conjecture, the strength that is
Formed, sturdy and deep, in one days effort,
The acceptance of self, which slow but true
Did lift, this I told you and more. And the vast
Labors of molding the light and dark shape
That frames my world, now glinting a soft burst
Of love's color, this I've told you, and more.

We do so hard grasp these nascent bodies
Of thought that any occurrence of change
Brings with it pain. Deceitful aspect strange
This attribute of sentience. Shared lies
Self formed and self believed, and fierce beloved
Distract the known conscious moment again
And again in heroic effort vain
To shut out the ego damning dreaded
Truth of universal equanimity
Non specific to the fabricate me
The i perceiving. No answers can be
Found to malformed questions. The path to see
Begins with forgetting. But to uproot dreams
Of self repeatedly lived, hatedly looms.

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XII "


Possession is nine-tenths of the fall to
Captivity of spirit. Many times
You've said those words to these selective ears
And i've heard nothing but your voice. Now, through
Some grating shift of cells, cause unknown, a
Newly perceived response enlightens some
Hitherto unlit portion of the dim
Pre-conscious realm. Which from here on casts a
Shadow interwoven with the many
Other shadows in the vast and blood warm
Ocean called the mind. And i see the harm
You speak of threatening, purely, clearly.
To hold is to close and occupy a sheaving
Of brain, which does empty its use for living.

You theme you are the only one and crap
A conscious **** excreting mindflex mobile
Bone bag commercially impregnated
With a semblance of life called existence
Firmly pegged in this moments suffering
Or relief of suffering called happiness
By most swimmers in the we turbulent
Through cause and calmed through cause to each their own
Journey a needless needful thing of our
Humanity etcetera moving
So we must go no where or now here to
Be the undiscovered country glowing
Light forms solidifying matter forms
Melting cyclic wonderment of what's this

"Sonnets from a Conversation with a friend XIII"


You theme you are the only one and crap
A conscious **** excreting mindflex mobile
Bone bag commercially impregnated
With a semblance of life called existence
Firmly pegged in this moments suffering
Or relief of suffering called happiness
By most swimmers in the we turbulent
Through cause and calmed through cause to each their own
Journey a needless needful thing of our
Humanity etcetera moving
So we must go no where or now here to
Be the undiscovered country glowing
Light forms solidifying matter forms
Melting cyclic wonderment of what's this

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XIII" b


Possession is nine-tenths of the fall to
Captivity of spirit. Many times
You've said these words to these selective ears
And i've heard nothing but your voice. Now, through
Some grating shift of cells, cause unknown, a
Newly perceived response enlightens some
Hitherto unlit portion of the dim
Pre-conscious realm. Which from here on casts a
Shadow interwoven with the many
Other shadows in the vast and blood warm
Ocean called this mind. And i see the harm
You speak of threatening, clearly. To hold
Is to close and occupy a sheaving
Of brain;   which does empty its use for living.

Naked ladies of the mind parade to
Distant drums imbibed in younger years blind
And innocent we knew no secrets earned
With blood and pain and lived our lives oh so
Blind and innocent without knowledge of
Each other or of self or consequence
To actions spurted out the orifice
In brain somewhere slowly yielding to love
Control first mimicked then emulated
Then owned outright as finger movement which
May appear a fist or gentle hand touch
Caused through galaxies of influence made
But not made with conscious foresight so here
We are undead and twitching to drums afar

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XIX"


Why do i speak beyond a whisper heard
Only by one self? For the same reason
I fly and crawl, and swim the deep ocean.
For the same reason i scratch my one head
With hind foot, paw, and flipper limb gleaming
Wet. I wag this tail, lick my whiskers, clack
My beak, cry my green bumpy tears. Attack
My self and eat my own flesh relishing
Every ****** morsel to the full.
Escape the womb, the egg, the pouch, the chains
Of slavery, the mind inflicted pains
In all their multitudes. I screech the call
Of mating, of attack, of fear, the same
Quiet reason for all. It needs no name.

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XV"

If you die, you shall surely be reborn.
A finger pointing to what? You always
Say these words with seeming knowledge of ways
Divine, but i sense the hollow forlorn
Timber of your voice praying for support
To self existence. You want what again
Comes to be to be YOU! Without this boon
In mind your small now trembles at the root.
As does mine. The answer still unknown i
Think for most earthly walkers will take shape
In all perhaps, or not. But the late great
I continued throughout time seems a lie
To this simple form, that's lit from somewhere to
Cast its shadow on the fabric of you.

A year ago I was not this that I
Am now, no. Each new day passing forth marks
Not a journey in time alone. These forms
Of flesh and thought we know as ours belie
Their truth, with a gentle flowing change, thereby
Seeming a constant, but 'tis not so. Ways
Loved as part of life shift unseen. Yet cries
Of anguish rise from earnest lips to high
Places when we discern this fluid nature
And fearing a vaporous soul we dim
The view, and blindly hold to a caustic cure,
Wishful fantasy. To face our thoughts and trim
The base is hard, so very hard, though 'tis sure
A healing way, where firm efforts, may win.

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XVII"



Mirror mirror in the soul will you show
To me, my self and I? Yes, you can and
Do reflect the acts of a common hand
And lip to judgement. Yet no perfect flow
Of light exists, and your glinting surface grew
Not amid a faultless state, so the land
Of thoughts existence revealed in you, stands
Awavering. Our countless tomes of law
Reach to calm this dizziness. With steely
Grasp we strive to mold a single changeless
Image, granting a vast solidity.
An impossible task. The ever move less
I, is dead, and to see the self of reality
Is to ponder the future as formless.

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XVIII "


Different language different self, shaped
Of action, shaper of acts, aggregate
Born of body, speech, and mind. Offsprung fate
Mother creator, sentient congealed
Light. The mystery itself a gnawing
Pain stimulation to movement, former
Of distraction, pre-conscious constructer
Of constellations and galaxies swimming
In the great ocean deluded. Ego
Follows function, motivation the door
Magnificent. Change, reality for
The multitudes to nine decimals. No
Brain to small to know the great endless fall
To emptiness, clear waveless base of all.

Ultimately we own mere illusions.
This my opinion which you do not like.
Tough! I don't care if your karmicly thick
Mind confined does heroic contortions
To affirm. I don't care if your wispy
Aggregate dreams a Himalayan self
Poor ******* son of Santa Claus. I laugh
At your ***** soft logic, dark, faulty
Twisted, and stillborn at the lip. Live your
Pain to its fullest shape, suffer your thought
Completely. I ask only from this heart
That if you choose, reach to me with hope for
Help, that i may gently lend a hand free
Of pretense, as you have done for me.

You love words that bark from the page and bite
The cortex to scattered shredded bits of
Chemistry spanning the human sea of
Thee entire depth and width and sheer height
Of thought foaming to consciousness in i
After i replete with pain imputed
Continuity fable that is dead
Weight forever till dropped from lapis sky
Calm and silent background to all motion
Real or make believe vibrations empty
Form solidifies into the whinny
Of a random horse clomping the streets in
Conditioned captivity with truly
No end to the ignorance but to see

I find a new psychosis every day
To drop my consciousness in and watch it
Floatsinkdissolve in turboiled social pit
Re membered in fear with loathing alway
S a thoughtbone under down actions body
Speech mind avnues stomped in cortex Jell-O
Wiggly gods addictive upchuck the hole
ly Cosmos re-designed skilldreamily
Thieving noeblood from the ??? of us
Discernible not yes maybe i don't
Know give me a break i'm just a he at
The trough ******* with fervor egopuss
We see as nectar in our work and play
We find a new psychosis every day

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XXII "


I find a new psychosis every day
To drop my consciousness in and watch it
Floatsinkdissolve in turboiled social pit
Re membered in fear with loathing alway
S a thoughtbone under down actions body
Speech mind avnues stomped in cortex Jell-O
Wiggly gods addictive upchuck the hole
ly Cosmos re-designed skilldreamily
Thieving noeblood from the ??? of us
Discernible not yes maybe i don't
Know give me a break i'm just a he at
The trough ******* with fervor egopuss
We see as nectar in our work and play
We find a new psychosis every day

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XXIII "

You theme you are the only one and crap
A conscious **** excreting mindflex mobile
Bone bag commercially impregnated
With a semblance of life called existence
Firmly pegged in this moments suffering
Or relief of suffering called happiness
By most swimmers in the we turbulent
Through cause and calmed through cause to each their own
Journey a needless needful thing of our
Humanity etcetera moving
So we must go no where or now here to
Be the undiscovered country glowing
Light forms solidifying matter forms
Melting cyclic wonderment of what's this

Divine your soul's degree        it is the sucker
Of rotting mind flesh off the bright light core
A red flashing neon exploding door
To heaven is causally over
Looked for excitements and anger little
Rubber hammers of perception tap mind
Tendons born formed or this life conditioned
And we **** **** **** our days away as chattel
To fault-full man-made process rationaled
Buy this! Get wet for this! Dream this! Consume your
HOLE LIFE CONSUME!!! and sigh the wish for more
Stoppage is not in time just now crafted
Body movements speak louder than words blow
Chunks!!!      there's a full heap of actions to go

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XXIV "


Divine your soul's degree        it is the sucker
Of rotting mind flesh off the bright light core
A red flashing neon exploding door
To heaven is causally over
Looked for excitements and anger little
Rubber hammers of perception tap mind
Tendons born formed or this life conditioned
And we **** **** **** our days away as chattel
To fault-full man-made process rationaled
Buy this! Get wet for this! Dream this! Consume your
HOLE LIFE CONSUME!!! and sigh the wish for more
Stoppage is not in time just now crafted
Body movements speak louder than words blow
Chunks!!!      there's a full heap of actions to go

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XXIX"




This emptiness swallowed a universe
Piece by piece perceived processed projected
Perceived mirror flawed through a glass darkly
My own self incarnate vibrates the all
God small g nothing else but illusion
Rising to heights magnificent people
Everywhere me me lost frightened in pain
Separate only in our dreams the stuff
Reality is made of again and
Again we fabricate the burning house
Source mortal frame coiled karmic energies
Physics bound push act be see the conscious
Realm space time continuous now the we
Travels the sea breathing one mind together

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XXV "


what forms adhere the moldy thoughts that are
the i called me? what hopeful edge glints peace
photons? what cornered shadows dank release
sable chemistries? what process is our
consciousness and what is that we all see
inbrain underneath the greater building
a god function beyond the scaffolding
life structured again and again to ease
fall after fall while climbing the stars in
mind-space-time continuum? ignorance
is not bliss yet here we scratch the surface
of infinity with feathers and grin!
truth is color taste and touch no other
can give us such       its for each to gather

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XXVI "

I want you to know what it feels like so
I show you with my actions the hard pain
Lump of emotion choking me slowly
Continuous no end in sight see my
Suffering i deplore you ignorant
Of what i sense as me i implore you
Secretly with jerks of word and flesh see
It know it the burning i own torching
Me delirious to realms delirium
Shoving reality out the door it
Keeps knocking though i scream banging my
Head till the consciousness goes away
A little while i want you to see me
I need you to love the pain away now