These destructive thoughts are a calamity
Driving my mind to the brink of insanity
**** this
Oops, excuse the profanity

But this is the last of this thing called sanity
I can no longer be part of humanity
I am now so far from sane
My thoughts are simply not humane

Not quite sure what made things this way
Maybe the RedBull made my brain grow wings and it flew away
I don't really have much to say
This poem really has no point anyway

Maybe it's to clear my mind out
.
.
.
I am the most sane inhumane insane humane person, no doubt.

There is almost nothing more calming
When the one you love
kisses you on the forehead
when they think you are asleep

That unexplainable feeling you get when you say, "I'm okay"

and they respond, *"No you're not."

"What's it like to experience love?"


"Hmmmm, Have you had Bernie Botts Every Flavor Beans?"
.
.
.
.

"Oh."

I swear, laying on her lap was heaven on earth.

The only feeling that is literally a heaven and hell.

That moment when your brain betrays your heart

It happens in slow motion


and all you can do is watch.

The most Horrifically Dangerous yet absolutely Wonderful feeling ever experienced.

If I could just hold your hand once more

Just once more

*My heart could stop feeling so bruised and sore

It was you,
                             That made my wall**
                                                          ­     *crumble to dust.

Awake in nothing
Hands shaking
Eyes darting
Heavy breathing
Not your own
Blind darkness
The ringing
In your ears
The scratching
The knocks
The voices
Driving you
To insanity
You run
They laugh

What to do?

*You awake
In your room
To look over
To see that they caught you.

Those dreams that leave you terrified even in the light

I''m letting go for good darling
I'm sick and tired of the quarreling
You say that you love me ever so much
That you want to be with me and feel my touch

Yet you never answer your phone
you don't ever reply, you leave me feeling alone
You get mad when I then make assumptions
Then you come up with all these presumptions

You can't even follow your own word
When I call you out, you act like a coward
You come up with the same excuses
With that my trust it reduces

You are not the one I remember falling for
That one must have died crumpled on the floor
I can't see the light with us anymore
Which is unfortunate, because only you I could adore

I'm letting go for good ***
Consider myself dead and done
I was hoping for a better outcome

I can no longer love what you have become

I feel like my words are failing me
My thoughts are simply not there
What I write is not what I want it to be
My mind has become blank and bare

I'm lost in this nothingness
Feeling empty with nothing to confess
My fire becomes less and less
These words and rhymes are more a mess

No matter how hard I try
to put down my pen
I always look back
and lift it again

I must gather myself and collaborate
Look at my words and rhymes and elaborate
Make them more in depth and intricate
Expand my heart and make it infinite

I must become the words I scribe
Using them on my demons as a bribe
To break a piece off my existence
To incorporate it into my poems with persistence

I must truly write how I actually feel
nothing obscured, it must appeal
To the minds and hearts of the readers who care
hoping to cause a spark, arc and a flare

I will open my mind and dig in the dark
And through
All the Words and Rhymes
On new journey I will embark

Accept Love, don't fight it. Fighting it would be as if trying to **** Cerberus with an old wooden sword.

Sometimes I wonder if I can ever
climb out of this feeling that is so clever
It stays with me when I eat
It lives in my heart with every beat
It craves when I get dragged down
It lives when I wear my frown
It stays with everything I do
except when I am with you
but this feeling I have long known,
*It's being Alone

Walking out to the side of the ship
The wind cold and crisp
looking to see the Moon's reflected light
kissing the ebony sea's surface with caress
Like rolling bright white silk, looking soft to the touch
The edges looking like thousands of camera flashes
I look up to see millions of twinkling dots
of stars long gone, though the beauty remaining
I close my eyes, take a deep breath
And smile, grateful to see something so beautiful before my death.

Life is Death, but also the wake you have created.

It's scary how words can make your heart feel everything.

When a heart shatters to pieces
It takes someone of a similar break
That can simply pick up all the shards
and put all them back together.
Whether the pieces are right or wrong
Both have a fixed heart that will beat
and forever be intertwined.

Some of the most scarred hearts create the deepest poems

In the process of living only the dead have won.

"I'm Insane" Is merely the brain trying to name itself.

My hand shakes gripping the quill
Shaping and warping words at will
The ink is the blood of my heart
for it is where the fire for my poems start

I cut and carve my life in rhyme
blotched on the paper trapped in time
Life Death Loss and Love
Spilling and splashing to the paper, all of the above

The heart dances as the fire rages
The quill scratches and drips as words come alive off the pages
Throwing you into the realm of my mind
You will exit leaving nothing behind

For poetry is a passion
I am not of any fashion
I merely feed the fire
That my heart will forever desire.

For every poem you read
Is what my heart is willing to bleed

Saw Death today, oddly looked a lot like my wife.

You showed no mercy with your decision
When you made the first incision
You took my heart and you ripped it out
you taped my mouth to muffle my shout

You drove me to insanity
because of the loss of your humanity
You were loving with with entry
When me and you was We

Now you are deranged
Your love is mixed with hate and rearranged
I don't know what brought this upon you
This just isn't what the old you would do

Now I'm lying here fading in and out
You've taken a huge piece of me, no doubt
I now forget what I lived for
Constantly wondering why you never came back through the door

So
Much Contained
Inside.
Time
Bomb.
My
Mind
Blown Wide.

Take my hand and let’s go on an adventure
Get lost in the stars and explore the future
Take my hand and climb into my mind
Where you will see my world and words outlined
Take my hand and climb into my heart
You will find that it’s not so bitter and ****
Take my hand
Let’s walk on the sun
Take my hand
Your journey has begun

Just don’t let go
Because if you do, my mind, my pen will lose its flow

You** say your life is a fallacy
Let me guide you to what you need to see
That you are who you want to be
Not what comes out of society

Follow where your heart will aim
And take what it wants to claim
You will then realize that this reality
Does not make your life another fatality

You have to reach for dreams
no matter how endless it seems
to that when you cross that line
you will realize that you are fine

That this place is not too tough
It's you making it so rough
I think you just need to explore
into yourself a little more

Share yourself piece by piece
You will feel the restraints release
So that you can finally be alive
and into your life you can dive

Do not be afraid
because the road you must follow, your heart already laid.

Freedom is not having to wear clothes around the house.

Life is but an atom to the universally imaginative ones

My life is rain to a flood,
only getting
*worse

What do you do
When a loved one comes to you
With a glock in hand
With a simple demand

Save  me

You get locked in place
Your heart furiouos beginning to race
The numbing of your mind
You close your eyes hoping you can rewind

Their hands around cold steel
Their life it wants to steal
They shake in fear
But the end goal is clear

What do you do when they scream

SAVE  ME

This is where I failed
My thoughts were jailed
All I could do was speak with my eyes
Which brought on my demise

Hovering over the lifeless
Crimson painted in a slant
For my eyes spoke,

I  *Can't

For Her my heart feels
With Her my heart heals
The pains washed away
Leaving my horrid past to decay

With Her I feel alive
For Her I will strive
But I am still

Waiting

For Her to arrive