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Egeria Litha Feb 2019
Camping in the Blue Ridge Mountains
was the greatest day of my life
It was my birthday
I brought a suitcase
and my favorite dame
and hiked 2 miles UP^^^^^^^^
laughing all the way

UP ^^^^^in the Ozarks
Medics were shooting steroids in my ****
BUT, never been more in love
with a man who injects grief in my veins

Dwelling in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains
sensed his vibe
Yes, Jesus I feel you here

held en el Rio Grande con mis mejor amigos
drooling in the hot springs
Taos has called our names
******* the rocky sand that is below me
I find a coin from New Zealand,
in turn, losing my evil eye earring
an offering to spirit's stream
a pair of desert lizards
we desire to get frisky and be alone
we shine silver glitter under a moonlit glow

witches cackle and curanderos
hide behind coyote cries and cacti
looking to each other with faces expressing,
"What should do we do?"
I guess allow them to do their thing
humans need ceremonies too
Egeria Litha Sep 2014
A man with all the elements
Vibrating in his body
Eyes on fire
His voice shooting daggers
Of clarity at my mind
His stride like he's gliding
On ice
His touch like gravity
Wrap my arms around
A mountain of strength
He smells like my true nature
Divine geometry bubbling
In his heart of a hurricane
In his glass of champagne
We cross arms and sip our cups
Intertwined like infinite snakes
Underwater we blow air
In each other's mouths
Taking turns
In and out
Creating carbon
Within our lungs
That we already have

*** so holy
The Hierophant is jealous
A union so balanced
Even Adam and Eve
Are Dying to be us
We are living in a space time
Of perfect timing
Open to receive
Everything our awesome souls
Deserve
And we have a mission to serve

Life is a ride on a ship
The stars glowing for us
Because they know
The alignment of our flow
Standing side by side
We are grace justice ease
The Emperor and Empress
Of all that we desire to see

Judgement from the universe
Designed you to be mine
The wheel of fortune
Put us on the same cart
As we circle up to the
Pinnacle of the sky
The world invites
Us to smile
The High Priestess
And Shaman
Play with our schemes
Allowing us to unlock
Our dreams
The secret to death unlocked
Because we understand
Dying is just a key
To a door that is locked
Egeria Litha Apr 2019
It's a wild, wild surrender
and there's nowhere in between
from here to there
space so vast
dense as evergreen

He's either held up in prison
or camping on the beach
but there's nothing in between

It's the wildest surrender
so I got down on my knees
and I barely used my teeth

Is my gift a curse or something
along those strings?
Signed, Sealed, Surrender
that will send him for the trees

What could make things worse
ain't always what it seems
tricky coyote just took a jog past me
baring gifts and teeth
what a humble surrender
So I got down on my knees
some lyrics I am working on. It's a country song in the making.
Egeria Litha Sep 2014
Picking black walnuts
In Asheville
And shipping them
To Nashville
Road tripping
And using my magical hands

Like when a farmer
Is ready to take
His vegetables
Finally away from
The earth
Ripping roots
That took a beautiful
Process to create
And strengthen

Like an umbilical cord
Being cut
Disconnected from
Where the baby came from
Mother Earth

When it's ready,
It's mine because it's time
And I deserve it
I feel as if the universe is telling me to wait just a little bit longer before my manifestations appear.
Egeria Litha Apr 2013
Toska reigns.
The chariot is losing control, string by string.
Put my hands in the air and allow my shadow
to take me for a ride.
The horse gallops in destructively attentive strides.
Gone with the wind and I bear my name.
Pain kills my ego once again.
Death is not the same as the living dead.
The phenomenon of the world is a continuously paranormal event.
There are so many ways to die, veiled under unconscious eyes.
Freud understands me, he knows the beast needs to eat.
But I don't have the ability to choose on what the other side
decides to feast.
Polarity is grabbing my arms in opposite directions,
my skin and bones are wearing out.
If I don't burn, I'll drown.
If I don't climb up, I will keep falling down.
Love is a circle and pleasure is a tide.
The Hermit comes out with his lantern,
illuminating everything I have so cunningly
tried to hide.
Egeria Litha Apr 2013
Full moon in Aries tonight
and I’m feeling like a bird in North Korea
with no wings
staring beyond the separation barrier  
the stars are aligned in radical change
and I try to imagine what it feels like
to be free of ******* and chains
everything beautiful dies here unnoticed
trampled under the steps of the Korean Worker’s Party
so I trail behind them seeking remnants of roses
somebody has to remember smell them and love them
just like people that are broken
in Italian alone there is one hundred ways to express I love you
in this place there is only a few and its mainly directed to the supreme leader
and in my world I channel that love towards you
my supreme ruler
I am ashamed of my loyalty
of a love so strong and dependent
but I am trying
I am trying to transcend
but sometimes I feel more ignorant than the city of Pyonyang
sometimes I feel like the guards
closer to the truth than some will ever obtain
knowledge can sometimes be a pain
and then there are the times when I feel like god
at the level of Kim-Jon Un
but I’ll never admit my greatness
until I believe in the light inside of me
reflected in the stars
and the universal power of the cosmos
I do not wish to live somewhere else
I desire to transform this country
by transforming myself
I feel like North Korea now
but I dream of no lines
existing anywhere
ridding my illusions of boundaries
everywhere is a free place
Egeria Litha Jul 2014
The lessons I'm learning now will be clear to me later.

The smell of matches
Light refracting off metal skyscrapers
the ego of the Bronx
bodies holding space
sending a message
everyone is watching;
paying attention
worshipping the sidewalk
redemption at the top of buildings
that is what keeps things moving,
the matter that is stagnant.
God is height and so is success.
Forget about the stars, the moon, the sun.
Rich men think they can buy friends.
Instead they buy temporary connections;
Pride and prestige.
The men play pride, the women play prejudice.
Women are chasing the dollar in a man's eyes,
are you going to pay my cab tonight?
I'll blow you for some blow.
Just at the end of the night, take me home.
I have work tomorrow.
*** every night.
Staying in Jersey City
with a bunch of cats
and I'm playing mice
Egeria Litha Dec 2015
Of all the roses in the garden
You have grown the farthest
Thorns hiding and waiting
To be touched
I will teach my child to look
At needles this way
Courageous at the Doctor's office
She will know some ****** can be satisfying
I will not pluck you
From your perfect environment
As a sentiment or sacrifice
For a lover who will eventually leech

Swimming in a bed of roses,
Cuts and scrapes appear where they land
Like sea shells that yearn for the Mother
As they are swept up by greedy hands
And placed in a bowl of other sea life
Used for vanity a misplaced home
Like little girls with the potential to be EVERYTHING
Without guidance, led into a hypnotic factory
Forget the wild, purpose, or being free
They become artificial flowers that never die
My child, my child
A shriveling flower is a beautiful thing
It lived its life it opened its wings
It was a home to many things
Of all the flowers in the garden
You needed the most water
The Sun knew and cast its shadow side
On your darling face
The moon eased your worries away
I caressed the leaves that were
Weak enough to break
And like the eldest member in my family tree
You were buried in your birth and dwelling place
Gracing the ground with your
Spirit knowledge and blood magic
Spoke of like a dead new born
"So much potential"
"Created so much happiness"
Of all the roses in the garden
Egeria Litha Jun 2018
Musing over idealogy
Attitude blurs in the making
How are we expected to know everything?
From lost enrout to passion
Sometimes we lose our passion
Mistaken for compassion
End up on the side of the road
With a flat tire caused by a deflated ego

Drifting far but
Purpose rises with or without a clock
We call her Dawn
often we miss the chance to be awake
to see her smile and feel her call

It’s been a bad day
Give yourself a break
until the new day breaks
Egeria Litha Jun 2013
I never truly believed this would happen to me.
Aware of it, I suppose but only in abstract notions.
You're like my unique potion.
But I am running out of your liquid in my bottle
and with every major use I drain you out.
I never thought it would dawn on me.
The setting sun of a finished love.
A chapter turning and I am the page mid-flight
feeling your existence coming undone...
and regenerated into something I can mold.
My mental attachments transferred into art.
And through this my other half,
may be born.
Egeria Litha Apr 2013
I can hear the rising and falling
of your chest
from continents away
even though you are not
that far
you might as well as be
my heart has no knowledge of time and space
if you are not in my arms
then you are not close enough
and I’ve been trying to find my place
in relation to the world and your life
I am a mere mortal
you are the sun
blaring down on my back
like a steady drum
I try to stare at you
but I cry
blurred image of you
is replaced in my mind’s eye
you leave me when I need you the most
at night
when my thoughts grow cold
and I’m forced to visit
the empty vessels
and broken ships
in my collection
of nightmares
you hang over me
like the temptation
of cocking this gun to my head
it does not matter if I get any better
or worse
you will not come back
the sun does not visit the night
no matter how many times
the wolf cries
instead it watches from afar
hiding safely behind the moon
i guess this is how its going to be
for the rest of forever
this is our positions
in the solar system
Egeria Litha Feb 2014
5 am driving through the hood fearlessly
Because sitting in my passenger is a huge black man up to no good
Newports in my hair
Graffitti around these parts looks better
Than Wynwood
As the sun rises
Hitting all the homeless in the face
Sleeping on the sidewalks
I see a man stretching his arms,
As he unravels his cuccoon
Ready to fly through another day
Newport man points at a woman walking past,
Her grey baggy pants sloping
Her legs crisscrossing like shes cutting something up as she walks
But really she's just on crack
He told me that he knew her when she was fat
She looks towards a man down the road
And waves a flirty hand
He follows her home
Earlier in the night i see a skinny white girl
Walking around the club
I thought she was brave
For being down here alone
A couple of hours later i see her again
Waving an SUV down
They drove past and i saw her face crumple
The way gravel does
The car stops at a light
on the way towards her money
Newport man flags her down
She begs for a cigarette
But all she got was distraction
"Where are you from?"
Boston.
Her sweatshirt said so
I have a customer waiting for me,
I have to go
Newport man asks "what are you selling?"
She turns away and goes.
Another crackhead rolls up next to
The club parking
With a bike he stole from south beach
I know this because Newport man knows
Shirtless underneath a neon flimsy vest
That he stole from a valet stand
Smiling through gums at the drunk *****
Rolling past
Attempting to pretend
That he is the parking pass
Anything for some spare change
Anything for crack
And last but not least but not first is me
I just wanted some ****
Newport man said if i gave him a lap
Dance he would buy me some green
Instead the ***** gets skimped for a ten piece
When he paid twenty
And because my lap dance
Didnt have enough grinding
He didnt give it to me
And this is the general tone
Of Overtown.....
Addictions arent selective
by race, religion, creed.
All those people i met are just like me.
Egeria Litha Sep 2013
Father figures through out my life
they fall to pieces for my mother,
only to get swept out by her broom
when the floor the family is depending on
gets too filthy to dwell in.
Blame this on the fact that Pisces
is in Saturn in my birth chart.
It was never in the cards
for me to have a father.
I no longer have to play the role of a daughter.
My age has outgrown that possibility,
my mother could never keep a man
in the house for too long,
on the surface she is strong
but my mother makes us sleep
in her bed for a reason.
I came from a male chromosome
that came from a body
that has yet to perish
but dead to my existence.
I don't mind this,
except nights when I'm pure tragic
madness, and he pulls up in front
of my house while I'm drinking wine
and puffing chemicals.
Hello, you made me
but we don't speak.
Strange sadness but mammals don't
need parents to fend for them once one hits
a certain degree of awareness.
But I thank him anyways for giving me life.
Egeria Litha Jul 2015
Let your mind wander to the days of flowing and recording it.
When you built sand castles and watched as the ocean ate them.
Boy, wasn't that a lesson for your sign!
Fill your mind with recent love you have created.
Like a poet reveal to life
words in morbid grey and neon lights.
What love has felt like.
The trips away, first kisses, haunting lyrics
beautiful moments you haven't had time to think about
busy in the present - working to make it.
When you made sand castles and watched as the ocean ate them.
Boy, falling in love by the ocean had to be a sign
Fill your mind with recent love you have created.
Sad Grey Brilliant Neon
The duality you speak of
Dear Poet, make me a sand castle
of Melody and Harmony
the necessity of **combination
Egeria Litha Nov 2016
How many times have you almost died?
More than 20 but still I have no idea what comes after this life
Didn't get close enough to enact
The DMT chemicals in my brain
But I have experienced my essence
Out of this body
And in a different plane
So that could almost be the same thing...
Anyone who has severe food allergies can relate to this.
Egeria Litha Apr 2019
Thunder booms then rumble into
nausea ripping through my belly
Lightning is almost ready
to leave the house
mulling before a blouse

Barefoot in a nettle spread
I am walking to your supposed love
and tiptoeing on a tight rope
towards your home
Until I reach your door and as you groan
thunder drums a heavy pattern nearby
Inspire me to stubbornly
crack eggshells on your doorstep
Egeria Litha Apr 2020
Bait Bombing from above
Is this love?
His talons crush the meat of my soul
Sharp, vivid, and calculated
Spitting pellets of my nucleus
onto rough grassland
Until I am reborn
into a vessel inept from the hunt
Doomed to weave
Cursed to grieve
Oh Athena Pallas, bestow mercy upon Arachne
Owl Vibes
Egeria Litha Jun 2013
Trampling a rose
Trial by stone
hindered growth
echoes in a cave
resonate my soul
the definition of bliss
is this: What I know
I have to bear
but what I don't can't hurt me
knowledge is weighted with tragedy
better off intact by avoiding your reflection
my mirror shatters before the matter of rejection.
Egeria Litha Dec 2013
I listen to the ocean, and all I hear is you
I read this on the cover of a magazine
that my boss had asked me to throw out.
Over night it had been rained on,
the pages melting into each other.

I listen to the ocean, and all I hear is you
I felt this as I leveled with the horizon,
the shore rubbing on me like your kisses
under the moon.

I listen to the ocean, and all I hear is you
I told you this through a drunken voicemail
half slurring, half purring about a love overflowing.
My heart is a cup leaking devotions that dry spells the ocean.

I listen to the ocean and all I hear is you.
Egeria Litha Dec 2013
Moonlight feels like
identical twins separated
Nepthys and Isis shot across
opposite ends of infinity

Their mutual rhythm
only sound sane
with the other
a rhyme to the reason
because that is what art
is

Splitting lightening once the white shine
bolts a crack in my spine
hits the glitch in my automatic mask,
to the world,
and everything I can't hold in my head space

Full Moon in Gemini
so unwilling to compromise
because of the gift and the curse
to see both sides so vividly;
intrinsically

Since when has anything ever been
set in stone
without growing into another white lie
floating in the mist
of another form that couldn't be compared to this
but rather another aspect in this

There are no questions left to ask The High Priestess

Everything I needed to howl at the moon
pin balled back to me in the vacancy of desert skies

Sand storm in my eyes
until Judgment's horns blared through
the illusion of heaven I created

Your place in my life is as empty
as the chair next to me.
Egeria Litha Jun 2015
It's not de ja vu
Because I know I've been here before
Smiling cause it's raining
And I know how much
we all need this
the ocean holds me
And not one wave
Washes me over
Salty kisses and sunsets
The sea is the ultimate woman
And I learn from her the farther
Down I swim to my depths
It's sprinkling while I'm floating
Gracious tears from the clouds
The Heron dives for a fish
Calling me an angel
Egeria Litha Jul 2013
Your body language is hard to read like teen vogue magazines -
shallow and they don't give a real message.
Free stylin' courageously as I'm bumping to the music.
The stage set solo with the spot light on me.
This is my chance to speak without my tongue.
Crown chakra open ,
purple fat lotus plump and focused.
Accepting, recieving, translating phenomena,
through my skeleton.
I allow the rhythm take me wherever it needs,
water fountain pouring out of me.
Red
Egeria Litha Aug 2013
Red
Your ex-girl friend looks like ice
and I'm fire.
Talk me down to Earth,
the energy has ***** my heart these days.
Desire.

Sacral chakra running roses through the ground.

Dragon's blood ink - I wanna write your name.
It's red like eyes from the winter, red like boiling point.

Do you miss my lipstick or Scarlett - my name?

The color of a liquid you would sacrifice for injustice
in the name of a government.

Red like the sheets in the hotel bed when I took your virginity.

The color of the gang you represented at every night club,
the hand motions from club meetings that yearned rebellion.

I want to see your tattoo I drew to depict you a month before you got it.

Red like cop lights that saw the last of you.

111
Egeria Litha Apr 2013
Sometimes your words are mistaken for poetry.
I made a note of this smoking stokes on the back porch with you
Overlooking the lake.
I asked you what you thought I was in my past life and you said a bird.
I couldn’t fly though, because as a baby I hit my head against a tree.
You said I did manage to fly in a circle a couple of times before I died.
The life before that I was part of a dandelion. A petal among the many petals.
I didn’t mind though. I thought it was cool and simple.
What about my life before that one?
You were the molecules inside of a Samurai sword.
But the man who owned me wasn’t a very good fighter.
He died shortly after, you said.
Sometimes I don’t know if you’re a pathological liar or maybe you are an angel
Telling me all these spirituals truths.
Nonetheless, I think you’re brilliant.
So what about after that?
Well, you were in the 12th dimension before then. I can’t see into that life.
But you’ve lived through four cycles.
You ****** in the smoked, threw it out, and gave me a half smile.
And I cocked my head to the right, squint my eyes, and read through you.
Egeria Litha Aug 2016
My eyes, rarely raining
get misty at specific times
as do the Redwood Trees
come morning time
and I, when I get around talking
about my parents

Blame it on the Onions
I love when plants demand things from me
like crying or prickly tingles
from a stinging nettle plant
getting slapped on the skin of my neck
and so painful sensations even out

Now I let myself feel more
ground my feet and hands on the forest floor
have a moment in the silence where
the stunning beauty around me becomes a background
like unhappy people on vacation
distracted
and then I'm back in the hotel room
alone
at least, thankful for comfort and warmth
Egeria Litha May 2013
Two and a half years of my life
spent pining, yearning, honing in your memory.
My dreams revitalizing your body but never quite able
to capture your voice.
Two and a half years of self-loathing, because you stopped
speaking to me.
Nightmares and day dreams, engrossed in the past or
the future with you in it, takes up the space meant for the present.
Two and a half years later, and you still treat me like **** but
now you have agreed to see me.
Naturally I was ecstatic, but indifference has knocked on my door
and I'm debating on opening it.
Unrequited love has lost its glamour and its edge.
One sip of your mind used to make me tipsy
but all those nights out on the town
has got me drunk on other men and other worlds
that don't revolve around you.
Two and a half years later, and I could potentially have you,
but what good would that do, if your love could never amount
to the intensity and the longevity of my love for you.
The door is still knocking but I'm shutting the whole world out tonight.
Two and a half years later, and I finally have the strength to overcome
your choke hold and take control of my life.
Egeria Litha Nov 2013
Open to the wrong doors
a bag of loose leaf tea
falling into a pattern
of steamed water
that cannot be taken out easily by
getting pulled out
by a string.
Only solution is to dump
all the remnants into the sink,
including me.
Addictions are draining.
Egeria Litha Sep 2013
Red eyes from red flames
smoking a blunt
cause you don't miss me that much
not enough

pages passing permanently marking days
I barely got to breathe in
much less read through
the mirror is see through
but I'm not looking back at you

you are me
I am you
I will always be with you

***** ghosts pent up in your van
that I drive now
ever since you left to tour the country
they whisper lonely, beg for cleansing

I make up melodies of nostalgia
that bleed down the neck
of my heart strings
Spanish guitar strumming:
forget about us
there isn't proof anymore
just a sting
from all the unheard calls that you ring

The moon is our only guide now for relation
sitting on this pavement staring at the constellations that shine:
you are me
I am you
I will always be with you
Egeria Litha Jul 2013
There's no one around to help carry my pain.
The weight of it exhausting my emotions into overdrive -
irrationality with a dash of anger.
Some one pick me up and drop me off
the face of the world and into a forest.
The trees won't confuse me.
They encourage me to breathe.
The rivers won't judge me,
they reflect what I am.
While every one else tells me stories,
nature will guide me to the truth;
An endless honest journey.
Egeria Litha Aug 2018
I want you to be entirely distracted by my surface
the sunlight above me

I want you

I want you content with my forecast of calm waves
each encounter

Follow my subtle guidelines

Behaving as a good mother I"ll command you out of the ocean
if you swim too far from shore

Or if you dare plunge your head under me

Sexually

Remain floating on my surface layer this is where the
honey moon stage lasts

Do not stare into the eyes of a hurricane
storms in me churning off the coast of "you had no clue"
will leave you washed up on Island Nowhere

Absolutely no swimming after sunset

I don't care if you hear the waves sigh all night

In this situation I am God knowing whats best for you
saving you from drowning in my cycle
Egeria Litha Jun 2013
Experience morphed me into such a detailed design.
Any exposure taints, just ask the sun when it hits our skin.
The spiral never ceases, it merely expands into the nothingness.
Until it is enveloped in the blackness.
What am I without the drugs, the relationships, the maya, the physical?
My mind questions me when I close my eyes every night.
Planet Earth has taught me to love what is in my hands
with all of my bones,
and when it is time...
to simply let it go.
It is not simple.
To invest and to expend for the sake of investing and expending.
But I know this... and so I watch...
finger by finger
as I loosen my clenched fist.
Transcending the object I cradled with agony,
and with each release
I rise higher than I
and it.
Senseless liberation it seems like,
but in doing so I lose my senses.
Egeria Litha Aug 2016
frozen body parts give me away
An inference to take in
That I don't want to advance
A touch that ends in stale mate

I have a lock on my book
Makes it harder to read
For others who don't know the password
inside there is delicate and scandalous Information
The book of a wise woman
Who deserves to read this knowledge?

It feels like if we had *** then afterwards
You would be more willing to open your heart
Let vulnerability hang out
Intermittently like a cough or sneeze
An indication that something inside you
Is moving
Life bubbling to the surface
And then I would know there is more to you
Than the next distraction
Alcohol, drugs,
a passing conversation, loud music
Holding me only for a little while
Sums up your intimacy level
By the second time you told me,
"I like you because you're easy to talk to!"
That's when I knew it was time to end this
Egeria Litha Jul 2014
Paradise in Colorado
Cali bound 
While Iowa calls you to play
Some time passed
Then I saw your face
 In Sunny Miami 
You came to see me
High rises 
And air mattresses
Holding me in an empty room
I'm crying your sleeping the night through

Unleashing through my eyes 
Everything I'm not speaking 
Dreaming about the past 
You pushed me back

Shoulda let me
Now I'm gone
I've been waiting way too long
Committed to someone new
Words are stab wounds
Ya shoulda let me now I'm gone

****** advances
From alcoholic trances
 last minute you pull away
pass it up
Passed out drunk
Wake up to a red head 
Cuddled with you on your bed

Shoulda let me
Now I'm gone
I've been waiting way too long
Committed to someone new
Words are stab wounds
Ya shoulda let me now I'm gone
Egeria Litha Jan 2015
I hate putting my hands
In soil
Dirt under finger nails
And the substance
Feels just like clay
And I hate clay
Because I dressed
The corpse of my
Best friend
For her funeral
And she felt like that
I touched her and
She was made of clay
Moldable and rotting
As I brushed make up
On her cheeks
And so I can't touch the
Dirt because I know what
Corpses feel like
This is a story the old Crone
Told to me overlooking the
Garden on her balcony
I could only help but wonder
Why she couldn't accept the
life/death/life cycle....
The Crone hates the dirt
Because she was afraid to die
True story
Egeria Litha Jun 2015
Vibration in my hands sending me
show less but when you sing
sing from the bottom of lungs
and the fullness of one heart
Be a mystery but upon
revealing behind the curtain
Be certain that the energy
delivered is worth it
Dance slow
so when the beat drops
the body bursts and explodes
I can handle anything I experience
eternal reasons
Did you forget forever?
Honestly, Probably
it actually happens all the time
Egeria Litha Jun 2013
21 years or older but I asked to use the bathroom first.
Then I slip in when the bouncer isn't looking.
Naked bodies hanging on poles.
Men, smoke, 90's rap music.
On the stage, they bend backwards like dogs.
Dogs staring back, mirroring the position
and her self - esteem.
A woman approaches two men at the table in front of me.
Her fishnet wrap shows she's naked.
*******, grinding, tossing hair.
Some slimy guys buy us drinks from a table a distance away.
Dorena gulps next to me.
I leave mine alone.
Absorbed into this vision because I have to immerse
myself in this because I must write.
I need to tell people that her hand slapped her ******
like it did something wrong.
She made her hand do that because that man
was giving her dollars as I watched them slide off her back,
her legs; the sides of them.
She gave his friend a dance and a magic trick.
Setting fire to matchsticks she placed on her ******* and her ****.
He blew the flame away.
The dollars blew to the ground
and after her performance she went on her knees,
and picked up the remains.
Her dress, the money, her composure.
Afterward, she lit up a Capri, the type of cigarette
I craved all night.
I bummed one off her and she fled out of sight.
Egeria Litha Mar 2021
I wish he cared about me
and ourselves as a unit
I wish he was 20 years younger
I wish he was honest
I wish he was a tiny bit larger down under

It appears that
I am wishing for someone else

However, my thoughts insist on a version of him
conceived in my mind
a fictitious shadow that will never see the light
Egeria Litha Sep 2014
We are all free to do whatever
We want
As creators of our reality
We choose our experiences
It was his decision to
Stay in New York City
No matter what
Even though his sister
Threatened to leave him
Broke on the sidewalk
A crooked guitar hanging
And a frown
Sitting on the concrete
Crying staring at the street
I chased him for blocks
Just to kiss his tears
And tell him that
He had nothing to fear
That I would sit by his side
As long as it took him
To rise up
Your sister found us
And asked me if I was staying
Here or leaving with her back home
I said she could go back alone


Choices decisions standing firm
In position
Have peace knowing the
Only thing you control
Is your life

No one can you hurt
You but yourself

A couple of days later
We broke out in a fight
And we tested what
Would happen
If I was the one to quit
Crouched on the concrete
Staring at the street
Staying in Jersey City
But dying to leave
Crying like I've been praying
But no one came to wipe my eyes
And kiss my head
And tell me that no matter what
They will be there

Choices

I chose to love
And commit

He chose a new girlfriend
I chose to run around the block
Several times
Crying like I was praying
Letting my tears
Soak in the soil of my garden

And then I remembered...
I choose to feel negative about
His personal life decision

And if I can just relax a little bit...
Talk myself off the ledge
Avoid getting depressed
he doesn't define
My worth or my expansion
Feeling betrayed.
Egeria Litha Aug 2016
We met in the place Allan Watts had his lectures
And Henry Miller sat in the corner brooding,
Writing brilliance
Decades ago
I imagine Joan Baez washing rust off her skin
Overlooking the ocean
Diamonds in her eyes inspired by "sin"
In the same place we spoke about men
And I remember my male friend leaving
Because this conversation was not for him
Debating about ****** relations, you taught me
To ask my body if I wanted to go all in
Close your eyes
Checking in with the root, navel,
stomache, heart, throat and mind
Visualizing the act
Do you really want him to be inside?
And when I did this exercise
the answer was NO

Then I met another man
And did the same exercise again
This time, every time I thought about his
Entrance anywhere
My body throbbed, tingled, and rocked
Into the greatest guitar solo
I've ever felt
My body ever played by his fingers
My neck tuned to his mouth
YES, he may enter....
The greatest desire
Egeria Litha Jun 2015
Alignment before leaving the house
blessing words with intention
honor the sun
Thank the axis
as we spiral
and find our constant amidst change
death takes place
and we go through stages and states
denial, acceptance,
and everything in between
connection with all that is
and crystal relationship with today

honor the sun
palms pressed to pray
at heart center
whoever does this looks so holy
serene, blissed out, so **** lovely

sashay with anger
then tango with tears
adjust to the idea
of releasing fear
honor the sun
for true life rises
and echoes rays of eons
from this glorious star
the source of fire and desire
warming our bodies
Egeria Litha Sep 2014
That song you cease to play
Follows you around the
Entire day
On the radio
In your headphones
Or blasting in your thoughts
In the silence of the doldrums
The passive lulls
In the life span
You listen to it
And your insides start
Shaking up
Some parts are on fire
Like your heart
And some lyrics
Stab the cages
And rainbow spirals
Like butterfly's
Are circling in your belly  
Forming during the instrumental
Playing that song like the
Sound track of your life
For a season
You heard this song for a reason
And it gets you through the hours
Days weeks and painful moments
Or maybe when you want to hear  
Something that resonates
With feeling alive
And open
Yes this song will do that to you
And it heals the wounds

Then you finally end that mentality
And hop on a new disk
Change up the vortex
And find a new favorite song
To guide you
#song #feelings #seasons #vortex #vibe
Egeria Litha Aug 2017
All I've ever desired for creation
Is its full brilliance released brought forth
Shining vibrating realized bloomed out bliss in
All I've ever desired for passions heart
Is the perfect inspiration
Expanding transcending delivering
Intelligence in its moment of evolution
And the spiral rises as the roots
Go deeper
All I've ever wanted for anybody is the full access permission and gratification of
Every individual immersed in their potentials
And who is to really say in one way or another
That isn't happening right now?
Witnessing divine mind in absolute allowance of wisdom
Egeria Litha Nov 2016
If my sexuality consistently gets used
Against me
Then it becomes my weapon
The wisdom that a man's greatest weakness
Is simultaneously his greatest strength
Becomes realized
Reflected in domesticated animals
We give up our instincts
In an environment where the wild
Doesn't belong
After years of suffering
I grab my wand for the first time
Although lifetimes ago I may have done so
This time matters the most
Because it is happening now
I grab my wand and wave it through the air
the journey to learn how to use my Magick power
Enemies draw closer
Only to get blasted down by light
Aum harnessed from my throat
I will use fire to protect my life
Hovering owls in the night
All according to plan
Magic birds witness
The transpiring of balance
Coming to this planet in need of healing
Divine feminine we are here
Mary Magdelene is near
Absolutely have no fear
Lilith is on the sidelines
Visiting dark beings
In human minds
Kali is by her side
Tongue hanging out
***** for fresh heads in her multiple hands
Yemaya stirs in the ocean
She howls, "Just leave me alone!"
As Bolon Ik traverses time away from her twin flame for longer than she can bear
Exposed in a terrifying way
But men cannot Divert their eyes
As The most beautiful women
Exemplified
Turns some into stone,
Others to salt,
Ashes,
And only the righteous of souls -
Deliverance as The Call To Rise
Egeria Litha Oct 2014
Is the only way through
situations the passage inside?
Detach my spirit and hover
from above at
the height of light
Where should I transfer
my trash?
the recycling box
doesn't seem half bad
but it requires sorting
what goes where
and eventually
it will transmogrify
and come back in the form
of a coffee cup sipping'
on my new lovers eyes
that I will of course,
repeat the pattern
of romantic disaster
and time bombs
of imminent arrival
holding out...
how long could one stifle
a much needed expression
that was sublimated
under the pretext
of ultimatum
do or die
love me or not
understand or dissipate
commit or let go
for as long as the rest
of remembrance
Egeria Litha Apr 2013
Am I the only one who feels your presence?

you thicken the air with unspoken secrets,

you’re the battle raging inside me;

my inner demons.

You pass the time by keeping me on your mind,

and on your leash,

and in your prison,

but its all invisible.

Your matter lasting shorter than a cigarette,

but you linger.

In my clothes; heavy smoke.

In the abandoned house

that left me in shambles,

in the memories stained on the walls,

housed in forever.

And I wander,

and you roam.

You're the ghost

with no home,

and I’m the body

with no where to go

but there is no difference.

So scream at me through your subliminal words,

see me through pictures,

visit me in day dreams and blurs.

We’ll play this game your way,

the silence between us is killing me but its what you deserve.

So we'll vibrate thought transference at different dimensions,

send me your hologram and I'll trip through your dreams inverse.
Egeria Litha Mar 2018
There is a hole in me
it's a perfect circle
No need to pinpoint the location
It's not as if anyone could fill it
Even if they knew exactly where it is

There is a hole in me
Maybe it encompasses my field
You see it in my hands or in my back
This hole doesn't have a bottom
Maybe it could, but it's like the ocean
Too deep to measure without giving myself to it

I've dumped many relationships in this hole
accuse me of ******
but no one will find their bodies
I've had some people climb down there on their own volition
thought they could be my archeologist
save me from this emptiness
I never saw them again

If a stranger happens to run into it, I'm prepared for this
I've wrapped caution tape and neons signs with the words "slippery when wet!"
And another sign that says "construction at work, drive slowly"
Another sign says "Not liable for any accidents, procceed at your own risk"

At night I hold a flashlight to the hole
and see spiderwebs but no spiders made of jagged rocks
other than that I see no sign of life
sometimes when I'm feeling pointless I take a shovel
and toss some dirt down
Hopeful that could make a difference
When the wind hits 75 mph in my head
the hole E C H O E S
  it has powerful acoustics
sometimes eery mostly hollow
but often sounds like a mountain lion in heat

There is a hole in me that might never be filled or tapped for well water
This hole was created by a broken family
A Mother and A Father
And now passed on to the daughter

Because of this hole I am suggestible to fall in other holes
like the depression hole
it's very dark in there and millions of people are in it
but no one is aware they aren't alone
and once you're there no one plans on getting out
or the financial hole
where people in fancy suits consistently throw down reciepts
or call out your name but never lend a helping hand
Or the desperation hole
where creepy men lurk in the shadows
begging to give me money if I undress them and open my legs
with my eyes shut

there could be something for me
Somewhere down there
in my hole
A secret I need to know or a way into another world
But I am too scared to fall in and let go
It could be the death of my ego
Wish I could have a family. Feel like an orphan. Now I just want my own family. But a healthy family not a cursed passed down from generations.
Egeria Litha Nov 2014
Nothing can influence
A Man
Stronger
Than a Woman
It's a difference
Through yin
That causes
Yang to become
Whole

It's like the beast
Crawling towards
The beauty
She need not
Use force
Or violence
To get the animal
To draw closer

Her prescence -
A flower
So sweet
Anything with a nose
Wants to inhale

The influence of
A woman
Is a journey inward
Where the flow
Comes in

I could show you where
You begin
Where it begins -
In the formation
Of a wave curling
To form
An infuriating
Break
Soaring through
the wind

She gets him
Contemplative
Her words
Sound like Sanskrit
She knows what he needs
Beyond what his ego
Believes

And maybe gentle
Or crying
Should not be forbidden
The influence of women

A females touch delicious
A Man's counterpart
And producer of souls
The answer to family
The true love gaze
An access to divinity
The missing ingredient
Of the recipe

A Woman's influence
On a man
Is the way the world
Transitions
Egeria Litha Aug 2014
Every once in a while
I get this feeling
Like there's a tiger
In my chest
Clawing at my
Abdomen
Rib cages
Solar plexus
So abrasive
And it demands attention

It's like I stumbled into it
this flow
Climbing onto a roller coaster
Blind
Only noticing when you're
Upside down
That there is something calling
To set off
A bomb dying to drop

Ease is what to seek
And I search for
The closest good feeling....

It doesn't come to me

Searching relentlessly
I look at my thoughts
And nothing major
Seems to arise
Just a feeling that something
Inside of me is half alive

The pain lifts me a couple
Of inches above the ground
Frazzled by the electric currents
Pumping around

The ego waits for the shadow
To resolve this mess
Knowing the only solution
Is a break down moment
Where supposed behavior
Falls high from its tower
And crashes everything
I subconsciously strive
To prevent
This out of the vortex
Release
To give in to instinct

And in that action
I find what I need
The old cat is silenced
For the time being
Egeria Litha May 2013
It's not me, it's you
these words they haunt beds
but I can sleep at night.
Rather be cold, covered, and neglected
than hot, naked, and rejected.
Yeah you're winning cause you have feelings
but nothing is ever what it seems.
Crying and purging at the thought of my body
but I won't let you see me because I'm shaking.
You're so far away from my tree that I appear
to be still but my leaves are trembling.
I never asked for thunder and rain,
you were supposed to bury the pain.
Instead I watched as you endlessly shoveled to find
the root, so the the thorn in your heart can be extracted.
But I won't let you get soil deep
forever bound
chained and held in my hand
curled up defeated
a snail in a shell.
Sicker everyday.... all because I didn't wish you well.

Shame
fingers point
and they blame
you.
Libra weigh the scales
I'm tired of the lower hand
I want you so bad it's stupid
It's stupid that I want bad news
Yearning centuries now for something new.
I want you so bad it's stupid
it's stupid that I want you so bad
so bad, my want is bad,
but I'm stupid for you.

The Victim and The Villain
interchanging between the two
chemistry ignited in red
but now we're entering the blues
The positions they change as frequent
as lies that transform into truth.
The Victtim and The Villain
they live inside of us;
and they live inside of you.
Egeria Litha Sep 2017
Moving Home during a monsoon
Summers turns to Autumn for advice
Stuff begins to Fall
  Sinking into the season,
We break up

Another winter heart break
Gets composted slow roasting
Fertile for Spring
Unless I keep adding waste to the pile...
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