Yours was only a hand, delicate and gentle.
Mine was only a waist, never pampered by touch or love.
It was but a silly heart, pounding against my chest.
It was only a kiss, under the stars, in the pouring moonlight.

I reminisce too much.
Besides, what else is there to do?
Remnants of the past, fragments
Still squirming in my conscience

In some vague room
A flicker of my smile, a candle, a black robe
And my button down shirt
Laid across the floor for you to step on
And you carefully tip toed
To catch me in time, but I wasn't falling

The seasons have passed exceedingly slowly
But now, I am smiling again
My nights are somehow less tormented

It is beautiful today and I have things to do
But before I leave and conquer the week
I pause, if only for a moment, in this sun lit room

I touch the French window
And leave you behind, one last time
Like shabby finger prints on unstained glass

Was it Vanilla or Lily?
May have been musk really.
Heart notes of Coconut or Sweet pea.
It sure did bring back her memory.

Oh! Her laughter and wrinkled nose,
My delicate desert rose.
She bloomed in my frigid heart,
Only to hurt and tear apart.

Concrete rubble sings
As I search ruins for a glimpse
Of my looted childhood

So many quiet constellations
And shooting stars in your eyes
Night’s darkest revelations
In your beautiful black hair

All of world’s warmth
Held prisoner
In your disarming smile

You are a funeral to my heart
A carefree transgression

Building and burning walls
Around my love
You show me the paths to
My own destruction

Are you the dark angel
I longed for
Or the light that will
Set me free?

Each death, a searing lesion in my soul
I wonder if you are alive, trapped
Among these treacherous walls

Are you starving too?
Desperate for home
Tired of all the spilling tears
And the sight of broken people?

I think I may have seen hell
But if I should pass by heaven
God will need to bawl and beg
For my forgiveness

I had to let go of your memories
As I did with San Fransisco
With its innocent corners and places
The quaint stores and my shadow

"Does it snow in San Fransisco?"
My little nephew asked
"Not always, but it did long ago"
And my eyes filled with remnants of the past

It hasn't gotten easier, years have gone by
I still remember the golden gate
The sunsets and the pleasant sky
I need you still and in vain I wait
For you to stop by
And steady my pettish state

So many poems
Written on napkins
And trashed

So many on books
I never found

And many more
In my mind, lost
In the wake of a sleep

Would now be yours
Had I deemed them precious

mildly self conscious
gruntled about the present
estranged lovers meet
smile over stifled yearning
and think fondly of the past

It was another graveyard shift
And I stood by your little bed
Thinking of what you had said
My love, my darling boy
What I wouldn't give, to see you smile
Bear with me honey when I'm always gone
When I mutter and curse with an endless frown
And I will do this and more
For us, in this wretched town

I sat
by the window
in the cafe
in the corner

the snow was gone
the wind savaged

people were walking
to the movies
to their cars
some held drinks
some held hands

and I was there
looking through the veil
masked in apathy
sipping from my cup
hoping
it will snow
again

I want to put my hands in my pockets, like I always do
And find notes from him saying "I love you."
I want sitting on a park bench
Knowing that the vast silences between us
Mean more than empty words
I want walking on the beach wrapped in one blanket
And holding hands on strange busy streets

I want intellectual conversations at midnight
And long love letters when we are apart
I want sitting at a table and knowing love still leaks
From the corners of my lips
I heard you when you said
"Well honey, that's a lot to ask for."
But I want an ocean to drown in
Puddles won't do anymore

Humming birds don't come
Around my house anymore
But it is April
So I sit by the window
And look outside in mad hope

He was a crossword puzzle
And I had just begun to learn the alphabets

To him, I was a jigsaw
Broken, strewn across senselessly

On nights when there was nothing but silence
He loved me and my blues

He was beginning to learn my many faces
The dark insides and the lighter contours

Soon, I was afraid
That he might discover
How achingly plain I remained

you were so many wrongs
and I, all sorts of blue
but still, there are songs
that remind me of you

She moved like she was gliding through the star studded skies.
Her feet transitioning softly, but precise like a flame.  
Swaying to the rhythm like a laced  scarf pinned to a line, in the strong winds of April.
Her hand in mine, so delicately firm, her eyes beaming with the unmistakable sparkle of love.
She danced on, looking at me with a smile that could make dead plants bloom.
So I held her, through her love affair with the waltz.

One sad song
Was all it took
For the salty
Water works to begin.
Cupid, you wretched man!

Cold nights still linger
My melancholy winter
Not keen on goodbyes

I burned in a tempest
When I met you, by the sea
Nine wild months ago
I give life to misery
Now, as I love you no more

Beach landscapes
Had been painted into the sky
With eyes closed, I could tell
When the Sun hid behind a cloud or a tree
Making me shiver like it was winter
Shining bright and fearless
It was summer, half a heart beat later
But it was only the first day of spring
And my fragile life began
Again

On a chilly Michigan evening
My father talks of a friendly neighbor
Who gave him tomatoes
From his backyard
"Tom is married and has a kid"
There's a dull ache in my heart

On a rainy afternoon
A mellow song plays on my radio
I stop at the red light and a school bus
Moves past my right
A street sign, in big block letters
Your last name
I look away

Sipping coffee or standing by my desk
Autumn creeps in or the rain stops
From a dimly lit window
I catch myself cursing at fate
From time to time
Wouldn't it have been easier
If you were called something unusual

Do not be so blue.
I have.... Tiramisu!
Yes, it's all for you.

Mad girl wonders why
She recalls a lover's toes
Instead of his smile

It was a clear sky of blue
A little patch of green
By me were a dog or two
And a home so serene

The wind chimes clanked
There was a chill in the air
For September had just begun
What was it, if not a little bit of heaven

Winter can come now
I have hot cocoa waiting
And a sad novel

cherry blossom trees
line the walkways around me
petals at my feet

All the world is mine
During the days of summer
Except the lizards

I want
These weak
Moments of love
Over the sordid
Aches of time

He passed up on me
Coz I have no balcony
Cruel Romeo!

Your arms around me
Our quivering mouths align
Still, I long for you

I think I've got the blues
So talk to me
It needn't be important
I love all the nothings
You talk about

All I ever did
Was write poems
About you
And all the boys
I've loved before
But tonight
I don't feel like writing

Would you now
Please
Just sit here
And talk to me

But there are oceans behind my eyes
And lumps in my throat
That I hush with empty songs  

The gardens outdoor are sprouting yellow flowers
But the grass in my heart is covered in ice  
The rain floods my lungs  
With regrets that pin me to concrete floors

My voice muffled by deafening thoughts
And my dreams haunted by the ghosts of lovers I lost  
My body shivers to the December memories
And the thought of your face

Let me stitch the wounds that you cut open  
With the frail strings of hope that I will see you again

It is a modern miracle
To fly safely
But why is there turbulence
Only when I ***?