To be loved is to be stripped down to your core. Until the truth is exposed and you're an open book.
And then be accepted.
Not for the persona you created, or the fake meaningless words you use to impress, not the clothes you wear, the way you part your hair, or anything of the sort.
But to be accepted in your pure state of self truth.
That is love.

Convincing the heart
to love
is simple.
But arguing against it,
is not.

my life has started whirling
down a sink of self doubt
I question everything I love
because my perfect life
has started to crack
revealing all the aches
I had tried to cover

My body was art --- not to your taste,
you covered me in criticism.
Your words molding me like clay
until the mirror reflected a shell.

The child inside,
forever lost.

The devil is knockin'
cracking up whilst you're talking
all your words are gettin' slurred
too bad your pleas of mercy shall not be heard

You'll pay for all the hurt
you'll sink down in the dirt

"Curse you devil!"

down with you
down to the herd
of all the other evils hell bears

All the beauty in the world envies you.
Yet you offer out a hand to any who may need it.
Holy beings dance to your melodies,
songs so soothing they cure a broken heart.
The ground around you sparkles with a myriad of blossoms.
Words so sweet satan himself shows you compassion.
Your silky golden hair eclpises the shine of all precious treasures.
I never knew love could be filled with such certainty.

I am not a lover
I cannot be chained down
To someone so soon
I cannot be this earth's moon.

men down the alley
don't care for the person
that they hunt
they care for
the prey like manner
of the scared

that crescendo
and then quickly
die out

blue bells for eyes
her name was a song
that made the graveyard hum
for the dead became flushed
her beauty reminding them of life

Iris framing a soul's song,
a black pearl for which I long.

Mirrors like to lie.
Reflecting a 'girl'.
An image of an old self,
a mannequin.

Time ticks away
tying tears tightly
to my tired eyes

bound to me now
till the clock is unwound

knots going back farther
I cry for my father

        Please untie me!
        Untie me,
        untie me from the pain!
        Release the child
        imprisoned in my brain!

Relieve me from this label,
I cannot belong in this cramped space
That you decide I fit in
I don't understand why anyone would want to be confined
To just one thing.
You tell me I'm this,
Not that.
But why can't I be both?
Or neither?
Why conform?
Why conform when I feel so free just being
Me.

As the last grain hits the glass basin,
I know it was all for nothing.

filled with futile passion.

tears meant to be rationed
pooling at my knees,
spilling so fast
its hard to see.

a sea of futile passion,
beautiful but,
worth nothing
when its time to cash-in.

You cannot frame the oceans waves.
Forever changing,
vibrant blue -- ever-changing into deeper shades of understanding.
A never changing struggle between the sand and the water.
I am the ocean -- blue.

She longed for his lips
instead the only thing she kissed
was her seventh cigarette

Though light persists to reach my eyes, I hereby reject this harsh reality. For it is easier to renounce something you cannot percieve.

Her perfect smile,
Shines brighter than his.
But he is what everyone expects I want.
He is what everyone expects I need.
But she is so beautiful,
She's everything I desire.
I wonder if she ever sees me
and
Thinks the same.

He likes to collect feelings
the angry ones
the sad ones
the happy ones
His mind grows heavy
with this adamant passion
He sleeps knowingly
and without peace
as if he can sense the bad
creeping around him
ready to pounce
You watch
wishing
you could help
wishing he could know
that he's safe
because no matter what
you'll always protect him.

when the rain cries
no one notices

been bad for so long
sad for so long

no one notices.

Mind-- inveigling me into anachronistic thoughts.

Self betrayal, stings the most, and cuts the deepest.

the way they loom over
watching from cracks in doors
listening from windows ajar

they fear me

trying to discover secrets
about the enemy that resides within
this humble frame

for only I can be my saviour
but only I,
am proposed a foe

my love is captivating
my love has gravity

I love like the ocean
I love with fervor

my love is waves of emotion
my love clashes into consuming chaos

I love the chaos
I love the way I love

Does crying out
in a blank world
make me selfish

Selfish to want someone
just so they can hear
my screams

My stomach hurdles over these seemly Insignificant tasks.
With every attempted hop I stumble.
Something as simple as washing dishes feels insufferable.
The bubbles don't hug me as they did when I was smaller.
They mock me knowing that I cannot do something so simple.
Life is a river and I'm just a twig along for the treacherous ride.
I'm swept away.
My feet cannot provide me stability, they don't root themselves into the soil like everyone else does,
effortlessly.

They ran,
like they had never escaped
from anything before

I was their prison
and it hurts to know
that I was what
kept them up at night

pacing
scared
alone

I've been dreaming of dying,
Sometimes I feel like I'm already gone.

Happiness has become expensive.
Counting pennies like a child.

Life remains stagnant.

I tried to dream of you tonight.

Life is flourishing. My tears have worked hard, to rejuvenate this life.
For the first time in years, I feel like myself again.