lies
salty
like brine

1.Wake up and drag yourself out of your comfort.
2. Put on your persona of the day, channel what you lack until it feels real.
3. Force yourself to speak, you wouldn't want to be left alone.
4. Crawl back into your comfort and waste away in your room.
5. Try to sleep, block out the thoughts, plead with the voices for a moment of silence.
6. Repeat.

Why must you dissect every blemish upon me?
I am not who I appear to be.
Hereditary nonsense blinds your shallow opinions.

I will not allow myself to be shamed for something I did not create.
My body is deceitful, and vile.
It fools you with the same trickery,
showing you something that means nothing.

They struggle to piece together opinions with so little information.
Two categories.
Ugly.
Beautiful.
Labels easy to bestow, and nearly impossible to remove.

Your poor vision makes you cruel.

I'm an addict,
my weak mind succumbed by the allurement of sadness.
A strong emotion with enough power to fill me up with something.
A starved stomach craves the feeling of being full.
And I've never been a picky eater.

I remember the dust stuck in time,
The pink ruffled dress I wore in a sea of black.
I remember the stares and the tears.
But most of all I remember your smile and the love.
I will never forget you.
Though we exist in different worlds.
Not even death is enough to tear apart this bond.

To my love,

You are an idea not a person, but I love you all the same.

Yours truly.

A pearl encased in a grotesque shell.
An unknown beauty.

I wish to be enthralled
by still waters,
as I am with thrashing waves

I wish I felt contentment
without the urge
to throw it all away

Happiness
spurs sabotage
in ways we can’t explain

Stability and boredom,

are they meant to feel the same?

her iris leaked its blue
out the socket
and onto the concrete

dandelions round them
but not one
could wish away
the girls tear

The cry of morning
Rays of red sun
Marking the death of the moon

glistening,
the beetle gleams.

it looms over.
the shadow darkens,
closing in
and cracking down in a bursting chaos.

lifting up,
reveals a mosaic of remains.

death more beautiful after all.

Cry out her name
speak to her soul
scream for forgiveness
only the strongest cries
can surpass this barrier
between us and the soil
of the graveyard

Make a wish
What if I don't want to blow out these candles
I never want to leave this moment
And I know that once these flames turn to smoke my life will change
Because this means I’ve survived
past the age
I treated like a deadline
dead
line.

salty tears
mixed with sweet words
followed with bitter remarks
and a sour face

Plump and purple like a plum.

the shadow
of a 'perfect life'

Opinions,
Knives impaling frail muscles.
Their weight becomes,
Much to cumbersome.

a myriad of moths drawn to her hair
glowing as if godly somethings, it should bear.

"Let's rain gaze..."
the books and the movies
talk about boys like this

I went to that bridge,
the one nobody knows.
To stand on the railing,
in my pretty white clothes.
Then imagine the falling, falling,
the letting go…

Have my sins be forgiven
by the deep blue waters.
To which so many
lose sons and daughters.

Splashing,
crashing,
thrashing away.

I find myself still alive.
But beaten up enough,
that it’s easy to give in,
hard to survive.

An open escape,
yet I’m still desperately pleading.
Gasping for air to
breathe in,
breathe in and hold on.

Hold onto the sorrow.
Hold onto the pain.
Hold onto the life that drives you insane.
Feel the tension,
a storm in your brain.
Lightning cracks,
scream and shout.
Holding.
Holding.
Breathe it out,
out,
out,
out.

My plans, plans,
never really unfolding.

Mind chose to prevail.
Inhale, exhale.

My plans, plans,
never really unfolding.

Like when I fell in love,
with a boy who can’t be.
Cold feet, only getting colder.
Temperature dropping, dropping,
and you’re only getting older.
Time will keep passing,
now you can’t even hold her.
Your fingers still, limbs frozen over.

Your mind is dark,
I can’t find the match.
For the candles, candles,
and the spark won’t catch.

Happier alone,
that’s what he said.
Isolated from you
I feel six feet under,
dead.

Talkin about you,
like you’re already gone.
Mourn a man,
whom I’ve only fawned.

Oh how I wish
I could say good riddance,
let his death be a dawn,

To a new coming sun.
Breathe out his poison,
with a simple yawn.

Yet I still breathe in,
breathe in and hold on.

Hold onto the sorrow.
Hold onto the pain.
Hold onto the man that drives you insane.
Feel the tension,
a storm in your brain.
Lightning cracks,
scream and shout.
Holding.
Holding.
Breathe it out,
out,
out,
out.

Oh how I wish
I wasn’t so drawn
to deep brown eyes,
his siren songs.

Waters so alluring,
eye of the storm,
can you see me?
Do you watch me perform?

Make a fool of myself,
in my pretty white dress.
No longer so warm.

Are you hiding?
I’m pleading, please.
I need some confiding,
and I know you can see.
Please tell me…

Will I ever be free?

i feel like the carpet
matted
unkept
frankly ugly

the birth mark on your left shoulder
reminds me of how some things stay when we’re older

looking back tears wouldn’t have helped
wounds bound up by doubt

she filled my thoughts
hazing my brain like cigarette smoke
her beauty beaten and bruised
her eyes still rang true
shes the kind of woman
you can't ever forget

He grabbed my thigh
I removed his hand --- I had to try
he just made his grip fortified
what did I expect --- he's a bad guy
but now my interest is bone-dry
I'm leaving him behind, along with his lies
always visiting with black eyes
always something gone awry
I'm sick of having to pry
you continued to pretend to clarify
your dumb alibis
baby,
bye-bye

I wish I had more time to think,
More time to cry with you,
Before you're gone.
But time is slippery as I try to grasp
The precious grains
Of my remaining hours with you.
I wish I could be strong for you,
But my sadness is uncontainable
and flows out of my wallowing blue wells for eyes.
You clutch my sweaty palms,
Desperately struggling to hold on to
This life you want to keep living.
But as I watch the sparkle dim in your eyes.
I know.
That it's a cruel world.

Your eyes oscillate towards her when we speak.

Poppies grown rosy,
from my comrades souls.
Stained red with their own murderous goals.

Their life force ****** dry, and now it flows,
Into the soil through the meadows.

Crowns of lead bullets adorn many a 'hero's' head.
Many a crying widow and widower longing for the dead.

Young daughters and sons who stand on their fallen's bed.
This is where the everlasting hate is spread.