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birdy May 2022
...
lies
salty
like brine
birdy Jul 2022
Each pound gained
my stake in 'pretty' waned
in societies tiny frame
of what's pretty
and what is shamed.
Sometimes I convince myself my worth is based on the scale, but if I lost twenty pounds that would not make me twenty pounds 'prettier', and appearance does not define you.
birdy Feb 2021
1.Wake up and drag yourself out of your comfort.
2. Put on your persona of the day, channel what you lack until it feels real.
3. Force yourself to speak, you wouldn't want to be left alone.
4. Crawl back into your comfort and waste away in your room.
5. Try to sleep, block out the thoughts, plead with the voices for a moment of silence.
6. Repeat.
Just get through it.
birdy Apr 2021
Why must you dissect every blemish upon me?
I am not who I appear to be.
Hereditary nonsense blinds your shallow opinions.

I will not allow myself to be shamed for something I did not create.
My body is deceitful, and vile.
It fools you with the same trickery,
showing you something that means nothing.

They struggle to piece together opinions with so little information.
Two categories.
Ugly.
Beautiful.
Labels easy to bestow, and nearly impossible to remove.

Your poor vision makes you cruel.
birdy May 2021
I'm an addict,
my weak mind succumbed by the allurement of sadness.
A strong emotion with enough power to fill me up with something.
A starved stomach craves the feeling of being full.
And I've never been a picky eater.
birdy Apr 2022
When your other half is gone,
the unwholeness that follows
is worse than death.
birdy Jan 2022
As I grow up,
I grow d
                  o
                       w
                             n

Wondering when
It will all stop.
birdy Oct 2021
I remember the dust stuck in time,
The pink ruffled dress I wore in a sea of black.
I remember the stares and the tears.
But most of all I remember your smile and the love.
I will never forget you.
Though we exist in different worlds.
Not even death is enough to tear apart this bond.
birdy Jan 2022
The air fermented and aged
familiar darkness
the futile anger from being caged
light brings no greater starkness
birdy Apr 2022
To my love,

You are an idea not a person, but I love you all the same.

Yours truly.
birdy Apr 2022
Your mouth struggles, mind grasping at sounds to make words.

Blurting out nonsensical madness.

Your eyes scream out desperately.

I wish I knew what to say

To reach you.
birdy Feb 2023
definitive death
deafening dark
a break never to be unbroken

now how must i find

the heart of a feeling

the throat of an emotion

the end to a thought

how can i know the last page of a story
when page numbers lose meaning
my poetry frivolous like—-
crayon scribbles in a colouring book
birdy Jan 2022
'It's as high as Jack's beanstalk'
your apple cheeks protrude
your eyes become crescent moons
and you shine a smile
the could make whole galaxies
revolve around you
birdy Apr 2021
A pearl encased in a grotesque shell.
An unknown beauty.
birdy Apr 2022
Why do souls
care for their cages?
birdy Jun 2022
her iris leaked its blue
out the socket
and onto the concrete

dandelions round them
but not one
could wish away
the girls tear
birdy Apr 2021
A seductive appeal.

Leaving it all behind.

Tempting like a mistress.

Being selfish.
birdy Feb 2023
if eyes are the window to the heart
why do i like to see yours closed
at rest

perhaps the anticipation of opening
the shutters

proves more beautiful
than the view
birdy May 2022
The cry of morning
Rays of red sun
Marking the death of the moon
birdy Dec 2021
glistening,
the beetle gleams.

it looms over.
the shadow darkens,
closing in
and cracking down in a bursting chaos.

lifting up,
reveals a mosaic of remains.

death more beautiful after all.
birdy Jun 2022
Cry out her name
speak to her soul
scream for forgiveness
only the strongest cries
can surpass this barrier
between us and the soil
of the graveyard
birdy Sep 2022
Make a wish
What if I don't want to blow out these candles
I never want to leave this moment
And I know that once these flames turn to smoke my life will change
Because this means I’ve survived
past the age
I treated like a deadline
dead
line.
birdy May 2022
salty tears
mixed with sweet words
followed with bitter remarks
and a sour face
birdy Apr 2022
Plump and purple like a plum.
birdy Aug 2022
the shadow
of a 'perfect life'
birdy Apr 2021
Opinions,
Knives impaling frail muscles.
Their weight becomes,
Much to cumbersome.
birdy Apr 2021
Porcelain eyes,
Shrapnel like tears.
birdy Apr 2022
a myriad of moths drawn to her hair
glowing as if godly somethings, it should bear.
birdy Mar 2022
My face ignites,
I can feel the red creep up.
My emotions may be bold,
But I wish to keep everything untold.
Boy
birdy Aug 2022
Boy
He existed like a song
his very being was music

I love his sweet soothing scent
Like wood slightly tinged

His crystal blue eyes
outshine the sky
and gain favour of the sun
Boy
birdy May 2022
Boy
"Let's rain gaze..."
the books and the movies
talk about boys like this
birdy Apr 2022
The boy in my dreams is perfect,
yet jealous.
He prevents me from finding
a real boy,
For his allurement as a mere concept
outshines that of a flawed person.
birdy Jan 4
I went to that bridge,
the one nobody knows.
To stand on the railing,
in my pretty white clothes.
Then imagine the falling, falling,
the letting go…

Have my sins be forgiven
by the deep blue waters.
To which so many
lose sons and daughters.

Splashing,
crashing,
thrashing away.

I find myself still alive.
But beaten up enough,
that it’s easy to give in,
hard to survive.

An open escape,
yet I’m still desperately pleading.
Gasping for air to
breathe in,
breathe in and hold on.

Hold onto the sorrow.
Hold onto the pain.
Hold onto the life that drives you insane.
Feel the tension,
a storm in your brain.
Lighting cracks,
scream and shout.
Holding.
Holding.
Breathe it out,
out,
out,
out.

My plans, plans,
never really unfolding.

Mind chose to prevail.
Inhale, exhale.

My plans, plans,
never really unfolding.

Like when I fell in love,
with a boy who can’t be.
Cold feet, only getting colder.
Temperature dropping, dropping,
and you’re only getting older.
Time will keep passing,
now you can’t even hold her.
Your fingers still, limbs frozen over.

Your mind is dark,
I can’t find the match.
For the candles, candles,
and the spark won’t catch.

Happier alone,
that’s what he said.
Isolated from you
I feel six feet under,
dead.

Talkin about you,
like you’re already gone.
Mourn a man,
whom I’ve only fawned.

Oh how I wish
I could say good riddance,
let his death be a dawn,

To a new coming sun.
Breathe out his poison,
with a simple yawn.

Yet I still breathe in,
breathe in and hold on.

Hold onto the sorrow.
Hold onto the pain.
Hold onto the man that drives you insane.
Feel the tension,
a storm in your brain.
Lighting cracks,
scream and shout.
Holding.
Holding.
Breathe it out,
out,
out,
out.

Oh how I wish
I wasn’t so drawn
to deep brown eyes,
his siren songs.

Waters so alluring,
eye of the storm,
can you see me?
Do you watch me perform?

Make a fool of myself,
in my pretty white dress.
No longer so warm.

Are you hiding?
I’m pleading, please.
I need some confiding,
and I know you can see.
Please tell me…

Will I ever be free?
birdy Apr 2022
love isn't sustainable,
these butterflies,
begin to feel like decay.
'love' eating me from the inside out.
birdy Aug 2022
mushy makeshift macaroni
over
fiery flames, fueled
by barky bushy brews
of kindling
birdy Jan 2023
i feel like the carpet
matted
unkept
frankly ugly
birdy Sep 2022
the birth mark on your left shoulder
reminds me of how some things stay when we’re older

looking back tears wouldn’t have helped
wounds bound up by doubt
birdy May 2022
she filled my thoughts
hazing my brain like cigarette smoke
her beauty beaten and bruised
her eyes still rang true
shes the kind of woman
you can't ever forget
birdy Feb 2021
Your scent is best forgotten.
Yet I remember your cinnamon hair,
Everytime the breeze carried the warm smell to my nose I smiled.
Because it meant you were still there with me.
We weren't in love,
Because we are and were,
too young to be having such big emotions.
But I know that whenever I catch the scent of cinnamon on an afternoon autumn breeze.

I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
birdy Feb 2021
If I could see your true colors would you be a deep maroon or a lime green?
Would we mix and create a beautiful purple or create a muddy puddle that echoes "we don't belong together"
I wish that I could see your colors
then maybe
I could understand
why.
birdy May 2021
A glitch, changing certainty into turmoil.
Myriad of thoughts that unhinge doors.
The lines of sanity are blurred,
Bridges are falling, stranding me.
The ice is thinning,
And I'm alone,
Pretending to skate.
birdy Jun 2022
He grabbed my thigh
I removed his hand --- I had to try
he just made his grip fortified
what did I expect --- he's a bad guy
but now my interest is bone-dry
I'm leaving him behind, along with his lies
always visiting with black eyes
always something gone awry
I'm sick of having to pry
you continued to pretend to clarify
your dumb alibis
baby,
bye-bye
birdy Feb 2021
I wish I had more time to think,
More time to cry with you,
Before you're gone.
But time is slippery as I try to grasp
The precious grains
Of my remaining hours with you.
I wish I could be strong for you,
But my sadness is uncontainable
and flows out of my wallowing blue wells for eyes.
You clutch my sweaty palms,
Desperately struggling to hold on to
This life you want to keep living.
But as I watch the sparkle dim in your eyes.
I know.
That it's a cruel world.
Why?
birdy May 2022
Eyes a deep brown like earth
a certain haze of stability
that I wish to erode
to find the truth
birdy Apr 2022
Your eyes oscillate towards her when we speak.
birdy Apr 2021
Poppies grown rosy,
from my comrades souls.
Stained red with their own murderous goals.

Their life force ****** dry, and now it flows,
Into the soil through the meadows.

Crowns of lead bullets adorn many a 'hero's' head.
Many a crying widow and widower longing for the dead.

Young daughters and sons who stand on their fallen's bed.
This is where the everlasting hate is spread.
birdy Apr 2022
The sun kisses the grass,
as the water hugs the moon.
birdy Apr 2022
Your ashes,
in a box in the living room.
Sudden flashes,
of memories
force me to see your eyelashes
that framed beautiful deep brown.
birdy Apr 2021
Cool autumn breeze,
Crisp like leaves.
Cinnamon hair,
Skin so fair.
Now I am here,
But you're nowhere near.
If only a tear,
Could bring back you dear.
birdy Feb 2021
To be loved is to be stripped down to your core. Until the truth is exposed and you're an open book.
And then be accepted.
Not for the persona you created, or the fake meaningless words you use to impress, not the clothes you wear, the way you part your hair, or anything of the sort.
But to be accepted in your pure state of self truth.
That is love.
accept me
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