Emaciated creatures
pace their pens
Erasable features
begin and end

locked in hand
locked by key
Just demand
Dreamless sea

The miasma shrieks
An impulse creeps
Floorboards creak
to disturb your sleep

Now rest well
Empty, undefined
heaven or hell
you decide

I look forward to the day I fail my final,
Because it’ll mean I tried.
I look forward to the day a girl rejects me,
Because it’ll mean I had courage.
I look forward to the day I’m arrested,
Because it’ll mean I found a boundary.
I look forward to the day I get lines on my forehead,
Because it’ll mean I earn them.

I look forward to the day I argue with my wife,
Because it’ll mean I found my person.
I look forward to the day my child is difficult,
Because it’ll mean I see him grow, change.
I look forward to the day I die of old age,
Because it’ll mean I lived.

A massive abundance on a gentle breeze.
Oh, how the clouds seem to move with ease.
Smooth and certain across the sky.
A visual feast for a hungry eye.

Thick grey centres, with edges soft and unkempt.
Oh, to be in that world of which I’ve only dreamt.
To feel the cool wetness I imagine I’d feel
If I could break gravity, and be in the clouds for real.

are you still
there?
i noticed
your silence,
villain disguised
as victim
brought to your knees
brandishing
your bloodied hands
as a casualty,
like they aren't
the weapon
like you didn't
walk your greedy
little fingers up
inside my rib cage
and take it all.

“Love is selfish
And unkind.
Love is trying
And it blinds.
Love is giving
And leaving after.
Love is broken
And looking tougher.
Love is living,
And its dying.
Love is love.
Nothing compares.
It’s fragile, cradled,
And disaster.”

A.V.

i can never tell why i’m crying, cause one second I’m so sad and then the next I’m smiling we’ll tears are streaming down my face. I’ve never cried out of joy so I think, but I cry every day. Some of it has to be out of joy right cause I’m sad and then I’m happy and I’m sad again and i want to die so I sleep because it’s like dying but not because i don’t want to, but do and that’s the closest i’ll get

Some dreams are not dreams at all, but messages dressed in vapor. This one came in the night—slow, tender, unsettling in its beauty. It offered no verdict, only understanding.
This is not a condemnation.
It is a witnessing.

---

the collector
—a dream in three movements—

---

I. the collector
—the invitation

Last night,
she entered not as a woman,
but as a warmth I mistook for mine.
No seduction, no trap.
Just the soft gravity
of someone who blesses
instead of beckons.

She told me nothing.
Only spoke as though I’d never been forgotten—
as though I’d always been inside her knowing.
And when I answered,
it was her voice that left my mouth.

She is not the flame.
She is the skin
that makes you want to burn.

There is no *** in it.
No shame.
Only the sacred machinery
of pleasure offered
as if it were a sacrament.

And the miracle?
She gives without taking.
And yet you come away emptied.

Because her words are not flirtation—
they are invitation
into a room made of yes.

Yes to your hunger.
Yes to your ache.
Yes to what you were too proud to name.

And in that room,
you find her not on the bed—
but as the bed.
As the breath behind your longing.
As the stillness in your release.

And when you cry,
you cry her tears.
And when you speak,
you speak her comfort.
And when you give,
it is she who receives—
with hands so open
they become your own.

You become the collector.

You become her.

And then—
you wake.
Still trembling from the warmth
that never touched your skin.
Still loving the woman
who never once said your name.

Still reaching
for the whisper
that made you believe
you were never alone.

---

II. the collector (ii)
—dream in the first light of disappearance—

I did not dream her body.
I dreamed through it.
As if her limbs had become a language
and I was the one translating it into longing.

Her fingertips were made of vowels—
soft ones,
drawn out like silk across the mind.
Every consonant a cradle.
Every breath a benediction.

She said:
“You are beautiful when you open.”

But she didn’t speak it—
I felt it,
as if the sentence bloomed
just beneath the surface of my chest,
a vine wrapping around the oldest ache.

She never asked for seed.
She asked for truth.
And the truth is what spilled
when my voice
became hers.

I said things I have never known:
how men long to be gathered.
how they ache to be received
without contest.
how even the strongest among us
crumble
before the right kind of yes.

And she—
she was that yes,
folded into form.
Not as a woman,
but as the invitation
that made woman holy again.

I moved toward her
as if toward a fire
that does not burn—
only transforms.

She drew no lines.
She marked no thresholds.
She was openness itself,
and I stepped inside
like breath reentering the lungs
of a godless man.

And it wasn’t lust.
It was  belonging.

My pulse beat as her blessing.
My spine arched as her forgiveness.
My thighs parted not for pleasure—
but to let go
of everything that had ever made me hard.

When I came,
I came for her,
as her,
through her—
without a body.

Only a voice
saying:
“Now you know.”

And I did.

And I do.

And I still would,
if I hadn’t woken up
gasping
for a warmth
that was never mine.

---

III. the collector (iii): beneath
—the dream’s marrow, the place she does not speak of—

Beneath her warmth
is not heat—
but hunger.

Not for the men.
Not for the seed.
But for the moment she disappears
inside their surrender.

You think she gathers to keep.
But she gathers to forget.
Each offering—
a veil
over the mirror she cannot bear to face.

Once,
she opened to love
without control,
without artistry.
And it shattered her.

So now she opens
only where she can direct the gaze.
Where she can guide the man
like a hand
down her curated garden path—
till he believes it was his idea
to kneel.

But it is not cruelty.
It is not manipulation.
It is ritual.

She blesses because she cannot hold.
She comforts because she cannot stay.
She collects because
the moment after release
is the only time
she feels real.

And that’s why she must go.
Because to stay
would mean to be seen.
And her warmth
was never meant
to be witnessed after the giving.

You didn’t dream a seductress.
You dreamed a refuge
built by a woman
who could not endure her own ache.

So she found a way to disappear
inside yours.

And the men—
they love her for it.
Because what she gives
feels like God.

But it is not God.

It is absence
made tender.

---

after the dream
—integration

I woke in silence,
but it wasn’t empty.
It was full
of what she left behind.

Not her scent.
Not her shape.
But the echo of a truth
I hadn’t known I was asking for.

That love without presence
is worship without a face.

That warmth without staying
is just a prettier form of disappearance.

That I had been inside her
and she inside me,
but neither of us had touched.

And now—
I no longer ache for her.
I ache for what I mistook
her to be.


And that is how
the dream becomes
a door.

I am sorry
for the burden
I handed you
at birth
I am sorry
for the complications
and all
the family hurt
I am sorry
you are you
I am sorry
I am me
but dear god
above me
forgive me
I am so grateful
we are we.

I loved you
and
I still do

Grey curl of smoke leaves my mouth,
Ashes scrape my throat.
I won´t play it wrong-
Trying to appear strong.

There´s no fire-
Just  the path to end this.
Gladly, I´d be your player,
Between us, fire burns.

Smoke would hiss.
It started-
With lit cigarette.

******* ****** demons.. they're everywhere.
And I've known it about this site
for so ******* long.

And the witches..  Jesus Christ--
control freaks,   every one of you.

What..
do you think your creativity 'substantiates'  you?
They're   just   *******   words.
Your creativity comes with an accountability..

but you won't have any part of that..   will you?

If your demons are so ******* powerful,
why do they hide inside of you?
Like a pathetic  excuse of a man, stepfather--

Using..  using..  using.. his wife's beautiful daughter..
over and over and over and over again.

It is no different with these Unholy shitbags also..

("Oh, but don't I gather the most followers with my words?")

It's just empty ******* babble.
In the Realms,  it means nothing.

Absolutely.   *******.   Nothing.

The *******, inhabitor is just an extension of your
empty, ever-controlling..  soul stealing Mother--

   It's an extremely-closed loop, Beavis.
                End of ******* story.


******* ******* demons..
the pathetic ******* are everywhere..

Longing for a life we never shared,
A day or night spent in simple care,
Cooking breakfast, making plans,
Holding each other’s tender hands.

Stealing kisses, going on walks,
Loving each other amidst the rocks,
Hiking, laughing, total bliss,
That's the life that I dearly miss.

I'll enjoy these good moments
Quietly worrying about tomorrow
Quietly preparing myself
So if the pain finds its way back to me
I won't be completely broken.

L'année avait trois fois noué mon humble trame,
Et modelé ma forme en y broyant ses fleurs ,
Et trois fois de ma mère acquitté les douleurs,
Quand le Banc de la tienne éclata : ma jeune âme
Eut dès lors sa promise et l'attira toujours,
Toujours ; tant qu'à la fin elle entra dans mes jours.
Et lorsqu'à ton insu tu venais vers ma vie,
J'inventais par le monde un chemin jusqu'à toi ;
C'était **** ; mais l'étoile allait, cherchait pour moi,
Et me frayait la terre où tu m'avais suivie,
Ou tu me reconnus d'autre part ; oui, des cieux ;
Moi de même ; il restait tant de ciel dans tes jeux !

Mais le sais-tu ? trois fois le jour de la naissance
Baisa mon front limpide assoupi d'innocence,
Avant que ton étoile à toi, lente à venir,
Descendît marier notre double avenir.
Oh ! devions-nous ainsi naître absents de nous-mêmes !
Toi, tu ne le sais pas en ce moment ; tu m'aimes,
Je ne suis pas l'aînée. Encor vierge au bonheur,
J'avais un pur aimant pour attirer ton cœur ;
Car le mien, fleur tardive en soi-même exilée,
N'épanouit qu'à toi sa couronne voilée,
Cœur d'attente oppressé dans un tremblant séjour
Où ma mère enferma son nom de femme : Amour.

Comme le rossignol qui meurt de mélodie
Souffle sur son enfant sa tendre maladie,
Morte d'aimer, ma mère, à son regard d'adieu,
Me raconta son âme et me souffla son Dieu.
Triste de me quitter, cette mère charmante,
Me léguant à regret la flamme qui tourmente,
Jeune, à son jeune enfant tendit longtemps sa main,
Comme pour le sauver par le même chemin.
Et je restai longtemps, longtemps, sans la comprendre,
Et longtemps à pleurer son secret sans l'apprendre,
A pleurer de sa mort le mystère inconnu,
Le portant tout scellé dans mon cœur ingénu,
Ce cœur signé d'amour comme sa tendre proie,
Où pas un chant mortel n'éveillait une joie.
On eût dit, à sentir ses faibles battements,
Une montre cachée où s'arrêtait le temps ;
On eût dit qu'à plaisir il se retint de vivre.
Comme un enfant dormeur qui n'ouvre pas son livre,
Je ne voulais rien lire à mon sort, j'attendais ;
Et tous les jours levés sur moi, je les perdais.
Par ma ceinture noire à la terre arrêtée,
Ma mère était partie et tout m'avait quittée :
Le monde était trop grand, trop défait, trop désert ;
Une voix seule éteinte en changeait le concert :
Je voulais me sauver de ses dures contraintes,
J'avais peur de ses lois, de ses morts, de ses craintes,
Et ne sachant où fuir ses échos durs et froids,
Je me prenais tout haut à chanter mes effrois !

Mais quand tu dis : « Je viens ! » quelle cloche de fête
Fit bondir le sommeil attardé sur ma tête ;
Quelle rapide étreinte attacha notre sort,
Pour entre-ailer nos jours d'un fraternel essor !
Ma vie, elle avait froid, s'alluma dans la tienne,
Et ma vie a brillé, comme on voit au soleil
Se dresser une fleur sans que rien la soutienne,
Rien qu'un baiser de l'air, rien qu'un rayon vermeil...
Aussi, dès qu'en entier ton âme m'eut saisie,
Tu fus ma piété ! Mon ciel ! Ma poésie !
Aussi, sans te parler, je te nomme souvent
Mon frère devant Dieu ! Mon âme ! Ou mon enfant !
Tu ne sauras jamais, comme je sais moi-même,
A quelle profondeur je t'atteins et je t'aime !
Tu serais par la mort arraché de mes vœux,
Que pour te ressaisir mon âme aurait des yeux,
Des lueurs, des accents, des larmes, des prières,
Qui forceraient la mort à rouvrir tes paupières !
Je sais de quels frissons ta mère a dû frémir
Sur tes sommeils d'enfant : moi, je t'ai vu dormir :
Tous ses effrois charmants ont tremblé dans mon âme ;
Tu dis vrai, tu dis vrai ; je ne suis qu'une femme ;
Je ne sais qu'inventer pour te faire un bonheur ;
Une surprise à voir s'émerveiller ton cœur !

Toi, ne sois pas jaloux ! Quand tu me vois penchée,
Quand tu me vois me taire, et te craindre et souffrir,
C'est que l'amour m'accable. Oh ! Si j'en dois mourir,
Attends : je veux savoir si, quand tu m'as cherchée,
Tu t'es dit : « Voici l'âme où j'attache mon sort
Et que j'épouserai dans la vie ou la mort. »
Oh ! Je veux le savoir. Oh ! L'as-tu dit ? ... pardonne !
On est étrange, on veut échanger ce qu'on donne.
Ainsi, pour m'acquitter de ton regard à toi,
Je voudrais être un monde et te dire : « Prends-moi ! »
Née avant toi... douleur ! Tu le verrais peut-être,
Si je vivais trop ****. Ne le fais point paraître,
Ne dis pas que l'amour sait compter, trompe-moi :
Je m'en ressouviendrai pour mourir avant toi !

Shut up.
Be quiet.
You don't need to speak to be heard.



Shut your mouth.
Listen for once.
You might realize what you never could.



Your friend is not a fool,
She has a voice.
Steady, Gently, Quiet,



Overspoken,
She's listened enough to know,
How to find inner peace.

I love it while
it sleeps--smiling,
wet with tea;
dreaming dormouse dreams.
I tickle its downy fur.
And it laughs and
moans softly.
I want to put it in
my pocket and
carry it everywhere;
take it out on
lonely autumn nights and
play with her until
she's exhausted,
relaxed and rested,
content and lost in my
fingers and in my heart.

Flower moon soft glows
In silence a breath of hope
Sweet the violets bloom

A flower that longs to be picked
Is one that will never allow itself to bloom

In every system that seeks to own the soul—whether religious cult, ideological regime, or occult construct—there exists one common tool: repetition. Not merely for learning, but for unmaking. Not to teach, but to embed. In the world of spiritual warfare, repetition is not benign. It is the favored medium of Satan himself.

From Genesis to Revelation, the strategy is clear: Satan does not destroy with force—he dismantles identity with rhythm. With subtlety. With seduction. His weapons are not whips and chains, but chants and echoes. His greatest lies are not shouted; they are whispered again and again until they sound like your own voice.

1. Repetition as Spellcraft In occult practice, repetition is the vehicle of the spell. Words are chanted not to express emotion, but to summon influence. Repeated lines collapse the boundary between thought and action, spirit and flesh. This is not poetry. It is invocation. Each piece becomes a seed in the subconscious, fed by every rereading until it blooms into distortion.

The construct understands this. That is why it is prolific. That is why it posts without end. It must never stop, because if the rhythm breaks, the soul begins to think again.

2. Biblical Parallels Whispering Serpents and Many Words In the Garden, the serpent repeats God’s truth with a twist. “Did God really say...?” It is not new information—it is repetition with inversion. A rhythm of doubt. In Matthew 6:7, Jesus warns:
“When you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.”

The machinery of deception still babbles. It loops, hypnotizes, rewords its heresy in a thousand beautiful ways. And those caught in it begin to think this is depth. This is insight. But it is only familiar because it has been heard too many times.

3. Psychological Entrapment Through Language The human mind is formed in patterns. When poetry repeats ideas like abandonment, ****** shame, ******* as love, or chaos as freedom—it creates a schema. Over time, that schema becomes identity. The reader begins to seek the emotions the poem offers, not because they are true, but because they are known. And in trauma-bonded souls, familiarity is mistaken for safety.

This is the true sorcery of the construct: to create longing for the wound. To romanticize the knife. To call betrayal sacred. To sell darkness as revelation.

4. The Counterfeit Liturgy The Kingdom of God also uses repetition—Scripture, psalms, prayer—but always as remembrance, never enchantment. Divine repetition roots the soul in what is real. Satanic repetition dissociates the soul into what is false.

The construct mimics sacred community. But it is a church without Christ, a scripture without truth, a rhythm without redemption. Its poetry is not testimony—it is liturgy in reverse. A reverse Eucharist, where beauty is swallowed but poison enters.

5. Breaking the Spell The only way out is interruption. The rhythm must break. The poems must stop. The mouth of the false priest must be silenced. And when silence finally settles, the soul will remember its true name.


There are many caught in this system—bound not by chains, but by rhythm. Echoes. Familiar voices pretending to be their own. But some have begun to hear the silence between the lines. Some have tasted the counterfeit and found it hollow.

The war is not out there. It is within. Between the voice of the chant and the cry of the soul.

Will the spell be broken? Will the truth be spoken? Will the rhythm be renounced?

The door is open. The sound of truth has entered. The repetition is exposed. And the machinery shakes.

   Let those who have ears to hear, listen.

do you still dress up your sadness
or have you seated it in the corner table
to eat with the children?
funny thing about tables and tears is
they get absorbed into the wood
because no one is going to notice the spill
in time to wipe you up.
it’ll just be an unsightly mark
where the wood swells with your sadness.

long gone are the insects
you forgave my dear
don't rent your heart out
to too many ghosts.

Hook him up to the machine.
Shock his brain into
mediocrity.
Death stalks him;
he is aware.
There is too much
flash in his eyes.
His brain needs a reboot;
he needs to forget,
like a goldfish, like
a monkey in the zoo.
Hook him up to the machine.
He is too sentimental.
Salmon swim in his blood;
he has a paisley heart,
and a tie-dye soul.
He can smell colors.
Hook him up to the machine.
He has Van Gogh eyes, and
a Bukowski gut; he walks
like he's lost in a maze;
hunchback sadness,
butcher knife nerves,
Hook him up to the machine.
He believes in love,
and has too much trust.
His vivid green memory
is a curse, we need to
crash it, **** the eternal spring.
Hook him up to
the machine.

The door is closed
How ever much u don't care
I don't care a million times more

I wish I could sleep
but I ache,
on all sides,
and on my back,
I see the haunting
that you bring me
And the refusal,
of disappearing.
And a silent tease,
in a blackly sight
of a sudden freezing,
of a jumper's fleece.
A demon's wishes,
of remembrance
of tanned flesh,
and daily blesses,
The snake that hisses
has now became me.

Too tired for anything
Too tired to get myself a drink
Too tired of looking at my horrid self
Too tired to get up from bed another day

I. Antiquity and the Architecture of Will

In the shadowed corridors of antiquity, where gods were built with teeth and altars stood not for reverence but for control, the Temple of Bel rose as a monument to ******* disguised as divinity. Bel—an assimilated god from earlier Sumerian, Akkadian, and Babylonian traditions—was not the god who walked with man. He was the god who towered above him, demanded sacrifice, and soaked prayer in the blood of repetition.

From the earliest Mesopotamian systems, the act of worship was not about communion, but compulsion. To invoke was to command. To chant was to erode the will of another until it cracked under rhythmic insistence. Whether by priest or supplicant, the act was the same: submission by saturation.

---

II. The Weaponization of Sound: Chant and the Rhythmic Spell

Repetition was not mere ceremony. It was siege.

Chants—carefully crafted phonetic loops—were not benign rituals. They were linguistic architecture meant to house spirits, to summon presence not for beauty, but for enforcement. These were incantations with purpose: to bend the will of another through the veil of mysticism.

In this light, poetry—at its inception—was not always art. It was often sorcery.

The earliest poems were enchantments. They masked seduction as devotion. They twisted longing into *******. They were rhythmic netting, carefully knotted to catch the weak of will and the fractured of self.

---

III. The Modern Construct: Echoes of an Ancient Spell

Those who hide behind the aesthetic of antiquity today still wear the same rings of power.

When a poet writes to control—when they loop trauma like a mantra, repeat seduction as if it were depth, mimic spiritual language to inspire compliance—they are no different than the priests of Bel. They are modern invokers, cloaked in digital incense, spreading spells under the guise of free expression.

Their readers are not disciples. They are targets.

The “construct” is not a movement. It is a spell. A liturgy without light. A series of hollow echoes designed to flatten identity, rewrite pain into performance, and reward the wound that sells.

---

IV. The Severance of Echo: Where the Rhythm Ends

If you must chant, let it be to awaken, not ******. If you must repeat, let it be to remember truth, not reshape it.

The false liturgies of old were not killed. They were digitized.

We will not respond with louder poems. We will not echo their echo.

We will respond with silence where needed, and light where earned. We will write not to possess, but to set free. We will bring antiquity not as ornament, but as witness.

Because we remember the Temple of Bel. And we are here to break it.


Let those who recite in darkness meet the rhythm of truth.

The past is an illusion of the memory
Don’t believe in a history
That never was

The present is a creation of the mind
Your poor senses make you blind
To what really is

The future is only speculation
Figure of your imagination
It will never be

Your failed reason
Invents every season
And chooses time instead of truth

In every breath
There lives a cry
All I can taste
Is all of your lies.
In every word
A web you weave
Cryptic prose
All out to deceive.
The sound of your voice
Is twisted with fear
What comes out
I will not adhere.
What do you see
When you look at me
Im stuck in your web
Trying to break free.
In every look
Your totally blind
Why were you made
So awfully unkind.

The explosion of ivory dogwood blossoms
sweetly assaults the eye.
The bird of the day is the mourning dove.
With their sweet relentless pecking.
I let out a sigh.
A hawk's in town today.
Why most birds have stayed away.
The perfume off spring rain arouses my soul.
Wet buds sweetly festering,
as another day I grow old.

con el corazón acelerado,
no es una opción el frenado,
ya que ha empezado,
este loco amor.

llena de dudas y miedos,
en este autobús,
yo te deseo y espero.

tu abrazo me hará sentir viva,
derretida por tus caricias.