I Fear Not

I truly fear nothing-
reasonable, that is.
Spiders might stop my heart for a moment or two.
Not much else - because I’ve battered all the storms -all of them.
What’ve you got for me now?
Being honest here. Not much gets to me anymore.

Are we all drowning?
All of us?
Suffocating, immolating?
Smothering under the weight of this life?
I think. I think we are-
by the things we imagine we need and want.
Succumbing. We are
succumbing to things we could have never imagined years ago.
When we were young - so young
and full of hope...
but that was strangled out of me
quite some time ago.
So I suppose then, that I am sinking slowly beneath the surface. I think I am.
I think I’m letting go.
Well, some days are dark for  all of us. Aren’t they?

Words cannot express
what I feel for you.
It’s too great to articulate.
You’re no super hero,
but you are kind of an
everyday hero.
You love me. Unconditionally.
You lift me up. Effortlessly.
Every day.
This is what you do for me.
And I love you for it.
Thank you, my love, thank you.
I have no words,
No words for the love you so effortlessly
give to me.
Just spoken from the heart. My husband is a true gem and I love him so. Maybe I should share this poem with him some day? ;)
Bumped into an old flame the other day...inspired this nasty little poem...;)

Oh first love,
how I want to crush you beneath my heel.
Grind the little pieces of you into the dirt until the soles of my feet bleed scarlet red rivulets of my blood-my life-my energy-that I wasted on you.
Come on over-
I’ll take you up in my arms and crush you against my chest-break your ribs and smother the air out of your lungs. Crush you against my body until you fall limp and then I’ll release you.
Let you slump in an inconsequential heap at my feet.
Exactly where you belong.
If you ever come back to me
I promise you this fate.
You took me up back then and
pulled me all the way down.
I scrambled up and out of that pit of despair you condemned me to so don’t.
Don’t come back to me.
You’ll regret it because I’m ready and willing to make things right.
Square things away -
so just don’t.
Don’t you come back to me now.
A little ****, but **** I sure meant every word I said, haha! I think many of us have let someone into our lives, at some point, that was just a bit of poison in our apple. Am I right?
That’s where I like to escape, often.
Pick up a real book-this thing with paper and a cover and bindings and a frontispiece and I just dive right in.
Turn off all the background noise and I just waltz right into that exposition and sit myself down and watch. Listen.
Become a part of the narrator’s carefully crafted tale.
Cheer for my protagonist and wish the worst for my antagonist.
I hear it all, and feel it all,
eat and breathe those words, those scenes, that rising action.
I’m right there for the ******
and falling action and the eventual denouement.
And then I let go.
I set that book gently down on my bedside table and I let myself come back here. Regretfully, always, but at least I know that another world
is just a page or two away.
I’ve always been a bookworm. My books have been my education and my salvation often. Just read my first Louis L’amour novel and I’m awestruck. What a wonderful escape.
Don’t Give Up

I’ll never, ever understand
why you gave up on this cruel world.
Why? Why not just soldier on
and hope for a better tomorrow?
Why not?
I’m always going to wonder why.
Even in my darkest moments, I think no. I’ll never let go because
I can’t leave my loved ones behind. No. I’ll never make them live with more pain than I ever could endure.
I can’t check out.
Take the easy road.
Leave the rest of you to hurt and hurt and ask why.
The strongest thing we can do
In our weakest moments
Is to not
Soldier on.
Maybe I’m wrong. But I wish the one I lost wouldn’t have given up.
Jennifer R Fay Apr 2017
Would You?

Would you reach for me
if I were drowning-
even if it meant
you would be pulled down into the depths of the
with me?
Would you
reach for me?
In my most
desperate moments,
if I asked for you,
would you respond?
If I called,
would you respond?
I don't think so, anymore.
I guess I wanted
more from you
than you could
ever give.
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