Doldrums

I’m down in them. I am.
Sigh.
Time to bring myself up
by the bootstraps or by
some other means.
I’m tired of this place.
It is so dark and desolate.
I want
to feel the sun on my face
once again.
Oh I do. I do.

Sunset

All those warm hues intermingling
You know
it’s quite pretty but
Those clouds those colours are descending  they are dropping
Draping sadness all over me
bringing this dismal day to a close and I guess that’s ok because
I barely saw the sun shine today it was overcast
And cloudy
just like
the dark puddles that surround
My putrid
little heart.

Deep

In my wizened heart
There is still something  left for
you my only love.

You put it there
Mother, Father,
And so I must endure it all.

Come
Follow me
We will walk
Down
The
Shadowy corridors
Of my heart
Stop
Right here.
and listen
To the sad litttle beat
Of my heart.
Just
Listen. It’s a beat,  a whisper,
then a hollow thump.
Oh my
My poor, wizened,
broken heart.

It’s my memory
so I guess no one would understand
what that gesture
meant
to me.

All those years ago.
1975?
The prairies.
Grandpa and Grandma’s house
We congregated
Kids left to their own devices but sometimes
Grandpa would walk us to the park and sit with us in the knee-high grass.
We’d talk and play and he would say-go pick  those yellow flowers
I will pick them too
and bring them back to  me.

I did. I was so intrigued. The rest ran off to play

I dutifully brought my bounty back to him.
He took those dandelions
And braided them into a crown
and put them gently on my head and said, you are a princess now.

He said I could be a princess
For just a moment
With a smile and a lot of love he made me a princess for just a
Moment
In time.

And for that, Grandpa,
I’ll always be grateful.

I miss you

I hear you
Even when you don’t want me to.
It’s ok to lament.  To
Feel
Everything.
It’s ok to do that.
If you’re feeling lonely,
I can do that with you.
You’re not alone
Don’t be alone anymore.
Here I am.
Here I am.