Twisted silhouettes of branches,
Twirling into the twilight,
Stars dotted lazily across,
The artists palette I call tonight.

Compasses break sometimes
But we must learn to mend
Them with strips of tape
And glue sticks ends

The warm taste of toasty cinnamon
Sticks to my pinky lips
And memories of simpler days
Are set off by the tarte granny smiths
This steaming bowl
Reminds me so much of home
The comforting feeling of
Of what it is to truly belong

The metronome of doom hurries you fast along,
Don't want to be nobody in a crowd of  millions,
Carving out a fastfowarded masterpiece,
Made of hurried brilliance,
All you've ever wanted was to make a footprint.

It's perfect in it's own way
Rosy cheeks and a smile that grows
With every sweetened word you say
Cute little giggles woven into
Either end of an hour long phone call
Faces bright with joyous eyes
As all the small things
Come together in you.

What if?
The question plagues my mind
Wrapping ropes around me
Behind my back my hands bind

We camped by the turquoise sea
Tangled little limbs lulled to sleep
By the rhythmic reassuring waves and
The tears of the skies as they weeped
Raindrops scattered like pocket wishes
Into our sandy dreams they softly seeped

Hidden beneath ivy covered walls, Behind an heavy oak door,
Lies a secret smile,
Waiting, and waiting,
To see the sun again.

Stars spill across the skies,
And my eyes are a magnet to their beauty,
Ever entranced by their snowy glow,
Wondering softly how far their shine goes

The subtle quirk of odd socks,
Not quite eccentric enough,
For others to mock,
But more a soft reminder,
In the repeated fields of sheep,
That you are your own,
And you are unique.

Eventually,
It will all fall into to place,
The bad days will melt away,
And the good will take front stage,
But till that day,
We'll get through this,
Tired and swamped,
Fighting through the mist,
We call teenage hood.

Daytime sun floods supposed futures
Moonlight reveals regrets
Stars sparkle bittersweet memories
Wind blown words slip past ginger lips
Rain soaks all these dusty thoughts
Hail batters hard againest
Already weathered hearts.

You were willow trees and
Ice lollies on sunny days
You were yellow shorts and
Grinning at nothing

Now you're blurry memories and
Feeling full of regret
Now you're wooden masks and
Smuged charcoal pictures

The seasoned changed and
Rain washed the rose tint away
I was left with cold truths and
Sunshine didn't taste so good

Anymore.

Dark powdery ash
Smears lonely on my stone mask
I fight my own war.

His eyes cloudy grey
Storms clouds once, tired now
Breathes like sand bags
Heavy and damp
Slowly holding in a flood
Ragdoll in the wind
He falls, limp and lost
I hold- til sleep

Leaves falling effortlessly,
Elegantly grasping the ground,
Trees holding tightly,
To amber creations
That have been worked on all year round.

A gust of icey air,
Foreshadowing future cold,
Rain and hail battering down,
All begging desperately,
To have their story told.

A colour faded hoodie,
Swallowing in its size,
A warming mug of cocoa,
Comforting us through,
These shadowed lies.

The fire tinted season,
Filled with sweeties and disguise,
In it the roots are hidden,
A dark and clever monster's,
Slow but scary rise.

The trails of salt running down a rosy cheek,
They are a constant waterfall of blue,
Accepted by the world as weak,
But letting them pour is strong to you.

They are an endless fountain,
The key to the box kept within,
The result of a countless tiny battles,
The marks of breakage painted on porcelain skin.

They are a sign of defeat to most,
But in reality they are a war won,
They free you from insanity's grip,
A reverse to damage already done.

In and out
Like the glittering tide
Of an endless aqua ocean
Rolling into the beaches side
Kissing the salty sands
With a quietly familiar sound
Slowly and softly retreating back
When relief is found

In and out
This is how I know I'm alive
The feeling of the mountain top
Soaring on a glorious high
As the sun sets bright
In the willingness of my eyes
I live only for this moment
"I'm alive" I breathlessly cry

In and out
Panic setting sail
Rasping at great speed
Silently I start to wail
Torturously out of control
Every second is a million years
Stuck in this icey cave
Filled with all my deepest fears

It’s cement that covers her grey lips
They crumble as his name dusts them
Crimson tears do so slowly drip
Every spoken word another traitor

Cracking, the shadows scream
Light scorches the darkness
Brutally rips the violet seams
A rotting tongue speaks out loud

Everytime I'm fooled
Your beauty, always fleeing
Disposable love

I run so fast I feel the dust form
In clouds behind the blood stained feet
I pound down on the brown earth
Constantly running, I seek comfort
A million miles travelled to try reach
That golden place I feel good enough
For the world to love me

My eyes sting, blinded in their quest
They have forget the world in clear
The reality is blurred beyond repair
Distorted  by the fear I hold
Of the mocking jingle of disappointment
That echos faintly in my ear
Every year long night

Once in a while I trip and fall
Knees grazing and legs shaking
Crying like a child to her mother
As the thread web I wove begins breaking
In front of my black hole eyes
The only way I know how to stop
Is to get up and run again.

Grasped in my tiny fingers
A whole world is held
A feeling of wonder lingers
As I think of all the things it feels
Just a small dot in a million
Awwing at the mighty universes
Vibrant shades of brilliance
Yet somehow imagine it feels safe
Surrounded by a thousand others journeys
It's knows that this place won't be home
For all of the long eternity.

I think I am like fairy lights
With 10m of soul but only 1 that shines bright
Deciding carefully which parts of me
Make the up the world's display
I like to think the light I shine
Is all earned perfection and dainty smiles
As if the world would hate me
For letting go every once in a while
But really I am not naive enough
To believe the image I dream, is the image I show and
Honestly, I think it's better for the world to know
That the lights I emit flicker from time to time
So maybe I'll aspire to be seen as a human being
Break out from my hiding place of rythem and rhyme
And let the other 9m glow,
Even if only every once a while

Fear
So complete and so overwhelming;
Nothing else can be felt.

The room that surrounds me is too small
The white washed walls closing in
It is a cave from which I cannot see the mouth.
The darkness is engulfing me fast
The light is disappearing fast
It is a whirlwind of shadows and fading voices
The reality is blurring, in its place
A distorted nightmare stitches itself
Like black, thick treacle it slowly slides into my ear drum
A wild hyena laugh
It’s here.

The air is painfully thin.
Every withering gasp becomes shallower
My lungs are shrinking
They are red balloons
Punctured by sharp, shining needles
Deflating, they push out the oxygen
Drawing in the black charcoal
My chest feels so heavy
The smoke suddenly solidifying
I can’t breathe.

I am trapped.
Isolated and alone
My body a steel prison
I lie helplessly on its foreign, metallic floor
The cold cuts into me
My bones freezing over slowly,
I can’t move.

The ice is a barrier between me and the outside
Carving the figures into unfamiliar shapes
I do not know this place
I am a child lost in a funfair.
The world clumsily stumbles in front of me
A million joyous colours and noises bleeding together
Forming one screaming siren
It yells “PANIC, PANIC, PANIC”
A rhythmic repeating chant
Blaring and bright
I’m drowning in its wails.

My body jitters like an old wood coaster
Jerking, swaying under a heavy weight
I try to stop it but it is out of my control now
The cart has left the station

The hyena laugh again trickles into my ears
Growing louder and louder
It morphs into a crazed clowns cackle
Howling at my failed attempts
My palms start to shake,
They cling to my arms as I rock back and forth
Trying desperately to make it stop
Why won’t it stop?
Why won’t it end?

My heart starts to speed
Beating so fast, it hammers against my glass ribs
It is deafening.
Like footsteps pounding the pavement
Running crazily to try escape
Terrified of the monster cowering over its shoulder
Painted face, disguised, its screeches surround me.
I trip and fall, knees grazing and legs shaking
I cry like a little girl to her mother
“Make it stop”, I whimper.
The monster towers over me.

From aside me, an arm leans into my cave.
It whips off the monsters mask.
Nothing is there.

"What are you most scared of?"
She asked, eyes wandering to mine
I turned away, as if fearful of the question

Hidden beneath a waterfall of dusty hair
Protected by a forest of oak soldiers
A glint of hazel scurried to meet her

"Growing up", I murmered so quietly
She could only just hear the words before
The breeze flew them away

She lay faint in their memories,
She was only ever could of beens,
Never was she the front face,
In their friendship magazine.

She was the white space,
Had potential to burn vibrant,
But she fell short of their pace,
And away in to the empty background.

She needed to be guided,
But no-one grabbed her hand,
So arm out reached she sat,
In the barren landscape of lonely land.

Dirt sided shoes
Patter lonely on the grass blanket
Shaky hands choose
Flowers pink or purple
Eyes stare seemingly dry
Unable to feel repressed pain
Memories cry
Tears wiped with white tissues

"I'll miss you"
Whispered into the wind
"I know that you'll miss me too"
Spoken from a superglued heart
My snowflake fingers melt
Onto the rain soaked forest floor
All the love that was yet to be felt
Falls short to branches of ever twirling trees

I am no longer a child
Not the innocent, little girl I used to be
She is now but a memory
Replaced by a new face
It is unfamiliar and out of place
It's eyes so distant, they are alien
Coloured in with grey pencil
A complete contrast
To the rainbows that once filled them
They are gone now.

I miss her:the little girl
She was bright and she was bold
And I miss her
She used to wear sunshine coloured hoodies
With a smile that matched
Her happiness burned like a bonfire
Lighting up all around
She danced with no music
Sang with no song
Laughed with no reason

Her imagination ran riots
Stories flooded out of her
Tales of all kinds
Bejewelled with wild ideas
She dreamed up a new universe everyday
Explored her mind as though it was a jungle
She swung around on emerald vines
Excitedly breathing in
Every scent, every colour, every shape
Getting drunk on endless possibilities

The girl that fills the mirror smiles sadly
Her dull eyes overflowing with invisible tears
I do not know how to comfort her
She is stranger looking out at me
I choose to be blind to her mind
A war of conflict rages on in me
I am angry, red hot
Knowing she took away the sunshine
Though I feel pity, too, for the blue salt trails
That form crystals on her fading cheeks
Pity for colour she is rendered.

I feel full with empty guilt
Every second I waste is a dagger
It stabs me so I'll spill crimson
Sparkles shiny, watches me stagger
I start to stumble and I'll fall
Let the blood dry black
Then I'll nurse my silver blade
Slam it down and feel my bones crack

You were white paper
I smiled, flames licked you up 
Innocence is ash
....
Poetry to me
Is all the unspoken words
Written on paper
....
Anything is sweet
In a voice spun of sugar
Made you candyfloss
....
I never minded
That it wasn't fairy tales
I still felt magic
....
Mummy held my hand
The pictures sighed so sadly
The other was empty

Aren't we all hourglasses?
Sand constantly pouring
Thousands of tiny golden grains
Growing giant in their masses
A plunge pools depth filling
As the dry waterfalls escape
We are always forgetting
How easy it is to suffocate
We run on quick sand
Legs moving as we sink
Pounding, wheezing, aching
We can't ever stop and think
Let the tap run empty
Now, we lie completely still
Unable to move, unable to pour
Our life stolen against our will
In misery we have to wait
To let the glass flip over
Until the sand starts to drip
At first we let it run slower
But so fast we drain out rivers
So we drown, again.

Her eyes were the oceans
So very wild, so untamed
I let them drown me