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Jan 25 · 468
Infamous star
Haueru Jan 25
I see you don't like me
My cordial mild mannered disposition failed
I didn't mean to stand out
It's not that I'm different
Just highly antisocial....  
Yet your giving me a hard time anyway  
How it must feel to have me in a bind
Well it's nothing new  
Another Cross to bear
Anyway soon we might part ways
No it's not you ,
it's  me I guess...
Jan 24 · 568
A Long awaited Hello
Haueru Jan 24
It been awhile
I took some hits
Had some falls
A blunder really
I come to Terms I might be a failure
  Or it might be a rut
No I'm not sad can't say I'm happy either
For now I will take this first step
For I know myself  
And with all the money you have you can't save you from yourself  
That to me is my Wake up call  
That I live with myself  
As long as I
Mar 2021 · 134
Part-time wall flower
Haueru Mar 2021
They say the  hardest choices require the strongest wills

even uplifting cowards' voices
Can send chills

But that's just my two cents
I won't interact like a shy pet

No I'm not venting
Having no shining principles to interject

This is a dilemma sorry
I'm a hedgehog wedged

Don't get too close

You might lose your head
Mar 2021 · 382
To Mom
Haueru Mar 2021
I'm sorry I don't say this much.
I would like to thank God, Couldn't imagine having another Mom.

You see I been watching and thankful

Your sacrifices and your unconditional love

Today I would like to say
I don't know where I be if not for you

Today I couldn't stand if not for you
Showing me I was strong

Today and the rest of my tomorrows
I know that I have a loving mother
None the less doting to call my mum

For today let me just say thanks for loving me and having me as your son

                                               To Mom
                                               Your #1 fan
Nov 2020 · 245
Haueru Nov 2020
It hit me like a wild boar
I'm glad the worst came to pass
These battle wounds left me high and dry
Cuts so deep
A master swordsman would glee
Bleeding overflowing to fill a river pass
With all your delusions of Grandeur
I promise you I will survive
I did survive
Broken bone won't sway me
My dry heart won't stop me
My soul forever unyielding
You came crashing
But I'm still standing.
Oct 2020 · 306
When you loved...
Haueru Oct 2020
The honeymoon phase was so innocent and yet so vibrant
Once the foundation cracked
It turned ugly
The fights was always savage
Love turned in need and comfort
Once the storms settled
You was the only one left standing
I was in my puddle heartless
Seeing you walk away from this war
Put me in a frenzy in my heart you took
I wanted nothing more but
you to crash and burn
A love so intense that if it wasn't me
I would destroy your entire being .....
Simply I can't bring myself to..
I just want back what you stolen
My heart so I can throw it away..
Oct 2020 · 137
Haueru Oct 2020
I don't regret nothing it's nothing wrong with trials or disappointments or hell failure
How will you grow, how will you learn to succeed
How will you come to be better than the last time mistakes are a given
Key focus and effort
is all you need to know
If you truly are valued..but..
If you can't forgive how can you truly live
I am thankful
I Can
Oct 2020 · 775
Haueru Oct 2020
Your hate
I need that
Your emasculation
Fulfils me
Your unaccountabilty
Don't worry I'm responsible
That ***
I'm going to kiss that
That knife in my back
It's all good I can heal
Your pain and struggles
Blame it all on me
Sep 2020 · 353
Lightning bug
Haueru Sep 2020
Into descent
I need to take this ride
This is merely madness
Will you smoke out my
If I simply offered
A glow that lights
Your empty tunnel
Maybe Maybe
For you
I can do this last flicker
Sep 2020 · 163
Yin and yang
Haueru Sep 2020
I'm being consumed
Can't breathe
I need to be alone
But scared to be lonely
What irony
I want peace; all I give is chaos
Such pathos
I want to be held
And I need to hold
But at the moment
I'm standing on my own Ten toes
My lies disguise my truth
Maybe to protect you or
Maybe to hide me,
I don't know this feeling
Such euphoria and loathsome...
Why  won't a mirror cast my reflection.
Haueru May 2020
I been lied to..
My life threatened..
Time wasted.
Emotions ignored..
Manipulated into caring.
My mouth is dry
Fingers numb
Yet my heart beat is true
You are too much to bare
Despite your worth
Luckily I only gave my heart to rent.
At this moment as I lament,
I am not tormented .
Though I'm not liberated.
Only time can tell
When I can catch my breath
Jan 2020 · 162
For kobe
Haueru Jan 2020
Personally I never knew you
But like you I had a very touched soul.
I can't say I was a fan of course, since I rooted for LeBron.
Every shot l take now I won't say "Kobe"
I will however say "For Kobe" and "GiGi"
No one should have to go the pain of losing a loved one and to lose a daughter.
The heavens weep
Jan 2020 · 247
I admit
Haueru Jan 2020
I admit I never had real love for you
I admit I did truly care for you
I admit I was ever so tolerant
I admit despite you narcissistic nature
I still never hated you.
I admit despite your using nature and definitions of what "love" and a "real man" is
I stayed there for you even from a distance.
I admit I see why you are alone and never found real love, sorry *** doesn't make love true no matter how good it was.
I admit I never dated anyone as pathetic as you.
I admit falling for you ,I now grew pathetic Too.
I admit  I want to learn you and you learn to me and I don't maybe we both can grow.
Can you just admit it's your fault just once.
Dec 2019 · 292
As advertised
Haueru Dec 2019
You want perfection
While I hold your baggage
But can you hold mine
For just a second
Oh wait you can't
I see
Also do you want to
Remain blameless while
I hold all the stakes
Well that's fine too
Let me spoil you
Even with you
Sitting on my back
That's that true real love
I doubt there
Ever be a tipping point
As I carefully hold it in
With no spaces
To vent
As I smile
Dec 2019 · 368
Haueru Dec 2019
I think
Therefore I am
I want to be greatest
Of all time
Actually I'd settle for
Being the greatest me
I can possibly be
So I guess no regrets
Pretty much impossible
To regress
God I only pray
For success
Morning mantra
Dec 2019 · 405
Haueru Dec 2019
I'm fighting it for sure
Can I stand up
Please rise up
I'm not ready for this ride
Like my daddy
Told me I'm only  human
We all got them
But difference is
Can you be the one to face them
And I'm like ****...
Dec 2019 · 357
Morning kiss
Haueru Dec 2019
Graveyard shift ,
I don't even see the sunrise
It's  still dark outside
Before I sleep;
I know I will wake when
Its sunset.
Am I even human anymore?
I don't remember the last time
I saw the sunrise.
My body's  cold but I don't shudder,
I barely sleep , I hear no beat from my chest.
But I'm very much alive.
Or is this just feelings of a cold winter...
Dec 2019 · 5.0k
To date a butterfly
Haueru Dec 2019
Have you ever dated a butterfly ?
A butterfly who wings been  grounded by lies,sin, adultery and broken promises.

A grounded butterfly whose wings ripped apart from a monstrous ant.

The butterfly stayed realizing its wings will never grow but it loved that ant for pleasures  that won't fill the soul but just entice the body.

One day  that butterfly did try to fly again but no wings and it found itself by mere coincidence in the nest of  a growing dragonfly.

The dragon fly too was hurt and found itself wingless doing anything to forget it couldn't fly.

One day the butterfly and dragonfly came to be one together to ease the pain and to give the love the other deserves both too soon not ready but it's great, good and **** right horrible days.

But over time through mistakes and lies.
The dragonfly past vices caught up to it and little did the butterfly know it had baggage too it was fighting though wrong it tried to hide it but made things worse.

More time passed and struggles and misfortunes continued; it  became apparent to the butterfly tired of being grounded it saw the dragonfly as species it cant intermix with.

They fought mentally against eachother only while hurting deep inside, the dragonfly too became more devoided and hidden but secretly it wanted to help bring the wings back to the butterfly.  But after being dishonest the butterfly came to see it as a no good liar and cheat too.

A simple mistake it made and it hangs over something it never did but the die was cast, a created persona made from pain and hurt.
Truth is till this day that dragonfly only wishes to help and love that butterfly  like it should be and dispel that hurt.

It wonders how can you get a butterfly that gave you chances and now won't take you back ?can you make a home, write a poem, or stay home alone wondering can you turn back time.....

It's still got a ways to go before its fully mature and experienced but it wishes to grow along side the butterfly as it too grows it's wings.

Can one day they build into what eachother needs with reckless abandon and learn to love one another the right way.

Just mere thoughts from a dragonfly.
Late night
Jul 2019 · 380
Can you feel it
Haueru Jul 2019
People fiddle with fire
And get mad when they sweat
Dose their bodies in oil
And play in the flame
Hell fire
But cries it burns
The fickle logic
I tell myself
I want to help
But can you help
Those who don't seek
Questions abound
Do I deserve
A fiery baptism
To build your
Throne on this pile of dirt
Jul 2019 · 187
The mantra
Haueru Jul 2019
I told myself
I won't lose myself
No more
I promised
To be true to myself
Never again will I
Betray my beliefs
My strengths and fears
Is what make
Me an original
An authentic
Mess with a unyielding
Count me out fine
But I have enough
To believe in you and I
Never again
Will I let myself go
Jul 2019 · 323
Familiar comfort
Haueru Jul 2019
At this point
We broke up 11 times
In a span of 8 months
You take no blame
No accountability
I always be the one
To lose a bit of myself
Everytime I apologize
And try to make things right
Even you said it
That the love gone
Yet we always keep coming back
Lord knows your low regard to my
Pedestal I put you is crumbling
Idk if I can remain loyal
Personally I don't even care for you
I know my self worth and I'm not
To be used or to be looked down
On by someone as lowly  as you.
Sorry but I'm done with you
Keep your ignore/block game true
Show social media just how
Unsavoury you truly are
Jul 2019 · 417
Haueru Jul 2019
You love me
Now you hate me
You appreciate me
Now I'm not a man but a child
You want me
But rather have other men
You stand by my side
Now I'm all alone ditched
Man how can I trust
One as wicked as you
Jul 2019 · 407
Haueru Jul 2019
I see your lies
The deceit
You stay prepared to turn it on me
But you can't fool another "liar"
You got your agendas
I got mine
You cheat
And well I have my crimes
You ignore my calls and don't attempt
To answer
Oh boy
Was that talk to that man
Me me me
How selfish can one
Person be
I gave you high regard
But you regarded me that of a flea
No more will  I give my all
You don't deserve someone different  
I don't got time for a stunted child who swears they're  grown
No not me.
I admit I still got some growing to do
But so have you
Dont has **** to do with the fact
I can't trust you
I'm not a tool to be used.
I admit I admit
I done shady ****
I still give love and respect to you
How about you try
And I might give you the love a real
lord knows I want to spoil you.
But that lie so I can't be truly " raw"with you fine.....
Though your accountability is in ?
Jun 2019 · 204
The flower
Haueru Jun 2019
I just came across the city to work
Never did I imagine to come across
A delicate flower
It wasn't my intentions to look
Upon it
It only took that glimpse that I found  myself
Drawn to its aroma
It was sweet and bittersweet
I couldn't  help but notice the clouds forming
As the flower weeps
But how was I supposed to know ?
I only intended to speak my feelings
To the flower
I Never meant to hurt the world
Who could leave a rose drenched in the muddy streets of granite.
Now I only wish to care and one day
Show the rose its beauty
Jun 2019 · 402
The Word Smith
Haueru Jun 2019
The skilled user of words, the wizard conjurer that provoke your thoughts.          
I ought to be  sentenced to death.    
For an enlightened mind such as mine for the crime of influencing young minds
You see the Government hate visionaries like me, so they call the disciplinary, to disrupt revolutionaries, COINTELPRO, look them up if you don’t know, for all you conspiracy theorist, I am the head of realist ****, shot calling
You might as well call me Shon the abolitionist.
When it comes to such a wicked being such as me, they call to question my thought for knowledge and I tell them
As the practitioner of hard knocks, my quest for power is almost pestilent; people say knowledge is power  
But what they don’t tell you, is power comes from applying the knowledge
To acknowledge the most dangerous man in the room isn’t the man with the gun nor the thirst for power
But the man in the shrouded darkness waiting to pounce, call me Rockefeller and Rothschild.
I am almost out of time but please forgive me, my mind sits in an higher dimension
My mentality is overpriced that’s why the naïve mind is as common as head lice
As I am the sole provider to the zeitgeist.

— The End —