I keep getting asked "are you okay?"
Good question.
When will I finally be pretty?
Good question
I'll cut my hair and fake a smile
Hoping someone will stay a while
Why am I such a crybaby?
Good question
they say a broken heart is one that's been loved
But I guess nothing's perfect.
Who am I?
Good question
The best questions are the ones without answers.

Average hair
Average weight
Average height
Average eyes
Not special, no, not quite.
I am that kid who tries but isnt noticed
I work hard until I can't keep going
But faliure always finds me
Like a mindless machine I fall back
Back where I started
Average
It's funny how I pray to be ill
to for once be different than them
Even though it could **** me.
I starve and I pray,
But is it really okay?
To live this way? Trapped in my mind
Laughing?
At me probably.
Finally
I am satisfied with the mirror
then temptation breaks me
And I'm back where I started
Average.
I dyed my hair pink
All I get is glares.
I want to be special but not like this
Even if it means I won't be happy
I'll do anything to no longer be
Average
Too tall to be cute
Too short to model
I've gotten no where at all,
The more I try the more I fail.
I will always be
Average
Average hair
Average height
Average weight
I want to not be able to remember the last time I ate.
They think I hate them
bit it's myself I despise
This smile is my disguise
I just want to be
Special.

Their stares, so cold
I hide my self
hoping
Praying
they don't notice my forgetfulness
I can't stand small spaces
but this is even worse
Empty, cold, and large
My heart on my sleeve
I reach out
Struggling to fill the space
Trying to speak back
I know they're talking to me
But I can never speak back
Why can't I ever fill this space
With the proper furniture of words

Yelling from my peers
I shouldn't be here
But it wasn't my choice
Its that small little voice,
Yelling
Screaming
Perfection is what I strive for
Pain stabbing to the core
But really I just can't handle this
It's reality I miss
To close to the edge
Nightmares of jumping off the ledge
I'm tired of eveyone's fake kindness
I'm a mess.

Be thinner be smarter
Be the perfect daughter
Smile and laugh
Such a piece trash
Just agree
Give in to their lying
Your hopeless, but dont stop trying
No one truley cares
Don't ignore the stares
Stop holding teddy bears
Run your fingers through your hair
Your an adult now
Fix your self up now.

Fight through the pain
Only then will you gain
That's what they all say
It's as clear as day
Be graceful!
Chin up!
Get back there
The floor is yours
Now land, hit the ground
Don't make a sound
Practice makes perfect
But all this falling gets to my head.
Keep going
See the smiles
And right back down again.

Im told I'm fake
Because I try to please everyone
But I cry and I laugh and I forgive
Does that make me fake?
I smile in the halls instead of frown like most
Because smiles spread quickly
Does that make me fake?
I prefer friends over enemies,
Because when I was younger I had neither.
Does that make me fake?
They tell me to be myself,
Because having pink hair makes me too different and I try too hard
So I fixed my hair.
If being fake means helping others,
I'm going to be fake for as long as I can and I refuse to fix myself.