I keep getting asked "are you okay?"
When will I finally be pretty?
I'll cut my hair and fake a smile
Hoping someone will stay a while
Why am I such a crybaby?
they say a broken heart is one that's been loved
But I guess nothing's perfect.
Who am I?
The best questions are the ones without answers.
I've been gone for a while please forgive me
How many times...
How many times do I need to lose friends before one will stay?
How many times do I have to cry at night because I'm not pretty enough?
Does crying burn calories?
How many times do I have to dream only to wake up to the nightmare of reality?
How many times do I have to be stuck in this loop of time?
Cry, sleep, dream and cry again
but my worries never go away.
They lurk around corners and hide in the cracks of the walls
Haunted by my own trust issues.
Not special, no, not quite.
I am that kid who tries but isnt noticed
I work hard until I can't keep going
But faliure always finds me
Like a mindless machine I fall back
Back where I started
It's funny how I pray to be ill
to for once be different than them
Even though it could **** me.
I starve and I pray,
But is it really okay?
To live this way? Trapped in my mind
At me probably.
I am satisfied with the mirror
then temptation breaks me
And I'm back where I started
I dyed my hair pink
All I get is glares.
I want to be special but not like this
Even if it means I won't be happy
I'll do anything to no longer be
Too tall to be cute
Too short to model
I've gotten no where at all,
The more I try the more I fail.
I will always be
I want to not be able to remember the last time I ate.
They think I hate them
bit it's myself I despise
This smile is my disguise
I just want to be
I didn't know how to portray this but I tried I guess.
Their stares, so cold
I hide my self
they don't notice my forgetfulness
I can't stand small spaces
but this is even worse
Empty, cold, and large
My heart on my sleeve
I reach out
Struggling to fill the space
Trying to speak back
I know they're talking to me
But I can never speak back
Why can't I ever fill this space
With the proper furniture of words
I tend to space out alot and its becoming a problem so I tryed to sum my feeling up in this poem.
Yelling from my peers
I shouldn't be here
But it wasn't my choice
Its that small little voice,
Perfection is what I strive for
Pain stabbing to the core
But really I just can't handle this
It's reality I miss
To close to the edge
Nightmares of jumping off the ledge
I'm tired of eveyone's fake kindness
I'm a mess.
For all the fellow messes
Be thinner be smarter
Be the perfect daughter
Smile and laugh
Such a piece trash
Give in to their lying
Your hopeless, but dont stop trying
No one truley cares
Don't ignore the stares
Stop holding teddy bears
Run your fingers through your hair
Your an adult now
Fix your self up now.
I'm not really sure where this is going but oh well
Fight through the pain
Only then will you gain
That's what they all say
It's as clear as day
Get back there
The floor is yours
Now land, hit the ground
Don't make a sound
Practice makes perfect
But all this falling gets to my head.
See the smiles
And right back down again.