At 5 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "pretty".
They sat hand in hand
And played pretend
That they were "Oh so ready!"
She told her friends
So they all giggled without an end.

At 10 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "gross".
"Too much hair! Look at that fat!
I'd rather like a monkey instead!"
Tears rolled down,
Self esteem has broke.
She told no one,
Because she already knew
What she was...

At 15 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "beautiful".
So strong and tall,
She gave no thought
But loved him always more.
"He is no good for you"
"Find someone better"
She let these words fly past.
They stood hand in hand
Against the world
They always stood together.

But something changed...

No longer interested in her
"I can not wait no more!"
He robbed her of her flower once,
And then once more.
Regret and tears,
Nothing more.
She held it all inside too long.
She asked for help.
In need of aid.
But got nothing more
Than blue, purple, and red
All over her.

At 17 years old
She liked no one.
She went nowhere.
She did nothing.
She wanted forgiveness.
She wanted life to simply end.
No words to speak.
Only thoughts filled her now.
The "Why?" and "What?" and "How?"
They almost killed her.
She cried all night.
She sat all day
With nothing else getting in her way.
All alone,
No longer her,
Thinking of the best way,
To finally give in
And say,

Goodbye...



-FreeMind

I still remember the day you took my hand,
Kissed my forehead,
And told me you didn't love me.


-FreeMind

You cant escape reality
When it hugs you like a casket
Ready to burry you deep into the ground


-FreeMind

You are laying down in a field filled with daffodils
The birds are singing happy tunes
The sun is shining just for you
You are looking up into the sky thats filled with cotton clouds
The long growing grass is keeping you warm
The butterflies are dancing just for you
You feel safe
You feel at home

My darling, My love, My little daffodil
Let me wrap you in my arms to replicate that feeling
Let me kiss you slowly to send shivers of joy down your spine
I need you and I want you
To feel safe with me
To be at home
Our home



-FreeMind

My Mama always told me, that I should never, ever, cry.
That I could only shed a tear, when someone very special died.

I kept that promise, Mama, for many, many, years.
But tonight, I'm filled with sorrow.
A river path has already been created from my eyes to my cheeks.
My body is shaking, My eyes are swollen, My jaw is clenched tight.
For I have lost someone very, very special to me.
Maybe no one can see, and maybe no one can tell, but, Mama,
I lost a little girl.

She ran from me far, far away.
Into the dark, deep, scary woods, where there was no way out.
I tried to help her, I tried to call out her name.
But she thought she could get out herself. And told me not to help.
Oh Mama! You wouldn't believe what happened next!
He came behind her and slaughtered the little girl.
Mutilated her.
Until there was nothing left but blood and bones.

Oh Mama! I'm so sorry!
I'm sorry I could not get her out!
I'm sorry that I didn't try harder to help her escape!
Oh Mama! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

The little, happy girl is gone.
But her killer is still on the loose.
He is swimming in glory and victory.
Showing off her stolen innocence as his award.

Oh Mama,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that she is gone.

-FreeMind

I wonder if all poets write about you.
A version of you
that I will never know
or never see
or never want to be with.
Endless poems filled with your thoughts and actions and feelings

Sometimes I wish I could stop writing
About my affection

But my poems would become empty,
Meaningless

If they were no longer about You


By : FreeMind

woman
The word rolls off your tongue like an insult.
You look down upon me,
Judge me for my desire to grow wings.
Your gaze is that of disgust and yet you draw me closer
With your filthy paws.

Woman
Is the one who gave you life.
And you dare to belittle her with you filthy mouth?
Why don't you compare her to the earth instead?
The ground that gives us food
Why don't you compare her to the air?
That lets us breathe
Why don't you compare her to water?
That can drench our thirst
Why don't you compare her to fire?
That keeps us warm

WOMAN
Is what I am
Is what I am proud to be
So don't touch me if I don't want to be touched
And don't stop me if I don't want to be stopped
But most importantly,
Don't feel pity for me because I was born a woman.
I can do what I please to do
And I will do it when I please to do it.
I am unstoppable.
I am a woman.



-FreeMind

I want to be that book You can't stop reading.
I want to be that song You can't stop singing.
I want to be that air You can't stop breathing.
I want to be that life You can't stop living.










Oh Darling, tell me I'm enough!


-FreeMind

It has only come to my mind now
That your name translates to heaven.

Thoughts of you have flooded my empty head,
And so I decided to write a poem dedicated to you.

I wanted to write about that smile of yours
(The smile that warms me inside even when it isn't for me)

I wanted to write about that rainbow bandana you wear
(That made me embrace my love for them too)

I wanted to write about that guitar you play like a real musician
(Such talent I've never seen before)

I wanted to write about that haircut I complimented you on
(The courage I gained to talk to you)

I tried so hard to think of those perfect words to write
But I can't
I can't

I can't write about how beautiful or smart you are because you are so much more.
You are magnificent.
You are an inspiration.

But what saddens me most is that you are gone.
And I will never be able to tell you all those things I have tried to say.
My only hope is that you see this some day, and finally realize how much you meant to me. Even if to you I was just a girl with a crush.


-FreeMind

By the lonely river

I sat waiting for you.
Hoping that you would come back for me.
We would hold hands and talk about the future we never received.
Laugh about the endless memories that were never made.
But you were just like the long, cold river.
And I knew you would not stop for me.
So I sat aimlessly, alone

By the lonely river.



-FreeMind

Here I am, once again,
trying to wash away my sins,
unable to get rid of the imprint on my soul

"They only read me because I'm short and simple..."

-Struggles of a Poem


-FreeMind

You watch movies about affairs between teachers and students
And wonder how that could be.
"Why would they form such a relationship?"
It frightens you, but you console yourself
"It's only a movie".

Until it's not.
Because it happens to you.
And you wonder how could your kindness be mistaken
While he says "we should keep this a professional relationship".

But when was it anything else?


By : FreeMind

Your lips are filled with poison
But all I want to do
Is kiss them


-FreeMind

I bloom with you like a flower in the sun, but once you leave the
leaves will droop and I will wilt.
No amounts of water will save me, for no one can rebuilt
a dyeing flower, regardless of their power.
No care and no love will save me but yours, for your sun-rays
protect my fragile petals and warm me on these days.
My roots have grown deep into the ground, intertwined with yours, and now I am bound.

A sunflower will follow the sun, just like I will search for you in all my happy days,
in all our lovely memories.

At last, we meet again.

So deeply devoted to one another,
Our hearts beat to the same rhythm.
"Boom. Boom."

That charming gaze, delightful smile.
I let you carry me away.

And off we go.
Flying through the cotton clouds,
Eyes filled with happy tears,
Never wanting it to end.

"Destiny awaits us!"
So utterly consumed in each other.
Two love birds unable to let go.

The softness of your palm against my cheek,
Leaning in too close,
Laughing at our little jokes.

Everything is finally falling into the proper place.



But at last,
I wake up.

And you are gone once more.


-FreeMind

Some things were brought together by the universe

Sun and Moon
Sky and Sea
Fire and Water
You and Me

I suppose we were meant to be


-FreeMind

Kiss me,
Kiss me,
And kiss me once more...

Shut the blinds, Close the door.
Touch my heart
And whisper my name
Can you tell that you are driving me insane?


-FreeMind

Your soothing voice has lulled me to sleep
But I'm waking up alone


-FreeMind

One day, Time will stop.
You will no longer be filled with all these feelings that once brought you joy.
There will be Nothing left to inspire you.
Nothing to bring you that tiny bit of Happiness.
There will simply be Nothing left.

And when that day comes, it will be up to you,
To decide to continue,
Or to simply give up that last breath of air that fills your lungs entirely.
And in that moment the decision might be final.
But before you let go. Stop. Think.

Think about all those times your stomach was filled with butterflies,
And your mouth filled with laughter,
And your lungs surrounded by a garden of flowers that grew inside of you.
Just stop. Think.
Think for as long as you have to- until you realize that once you let that air go,
All you have to do is take a deeper breath and fill yourself with Life.
Because One day can turn into a New day, but only if You chose so.



-FreeMind

My vision is being altered by an invisible being.
My body is changing drastically, no seconds to spare.
I can no longer tell if the mirror is lying to me,
If it is my eyes that are distorting my self image,
Or if I have gone completely insane.

It stares at me.
"Eat me."
It pleads. Begs for me to take a bite.
But I know better.
I won't ruin the progress. I've been working so hard.
I'll be that pretty skinny girl, I was almost meant to be.
But at 4am, it will beg me once more.
And I'll feel sorry. And I'll feel sorry.
So I will devour 2000 calories in 2 minutes, after my 42 hour fast.

Time to welcome my old friend, Regret.
Ah, I knew he would stop by. And right on time!
With the Scale and Mirror right by his side,
They will lay me down, and all watch me cry.

Where did the Scissors go?
Oh...
The ****** took those when he pretended to love me whole.
Not to worry, I'm strong.
I can take a few punches, to bruise up my soul.
Colors! Colors! Look at them go!
Representing that rainbow that makes me feel whole!

Shh!
Not too loud!
Don't let them hear!
They don't know how I feel about that girl across the street.
I should tell them. Come clean.
But won't that just cause a scene?

Stop.
No drama.
Just focus on work.
The classes you've been failing will soon **** your Hope.

HAH! What a life!
How can I complain?
All the choices were mine!
And now I'm INSANE!


-FreeMind

I allow the darkness to fill my heart
Finally suffused with mystical energy.

I beam with joy,
As a wide smile spreads across my pale face.

I am charged with warmth,
Reflecting the sweet moonlight on my skin.


-FreeMind

Take this box and run far, far away
To a land hidden from those that don't want to be gay.

Run until your knees feel weak
And your legs can't hold you much longer.
Run until your head is spinning
And your eyes can't see much farther.

You may stop when all you hear is kind laughter.
For the box holds a treasure that can't be gone after.

'What is in this box?'
You might want to ask.
So I urge you to listen
To the 'Boom Boom' inside.

Yes, kind stranger, it is my heart.
For there is no more love left inside, it has fallen apart.

But over the years I have grown older and smarter
And now I know that a loving heart isn't an armor.
I want it to be far away from those that have hurt it.
Protect it, Keep it safe, Don't let them destroy it.


For I have faith.

Love is not Dead.



-FreeMind

Stolen glances.
Secret notes.
Distortion of reality occurs.

He can no longer control himself.
The sight of her awakens tender feelings -
That were once buried deep down
From the last time he got his heart broken.

He prays that this time it will be different...

An increase in hope, a decrease in fear.
Her smooth lips against his cheeks.
The way her hips sway as she walks his way.

How can he stop thinking of that lovely soul?
How could he not wish, not want more?

Beautiful Girl.
The glory in her eyes
Overwhelms him inside.
Beautiful Girl.
That precious smile-
She is all that he desires.

If only she was truly his...


-FreeMind

If I summon you like a demon
will you stay the night?

Free your soul
Empty your mind
Dance in the rain
It is you they desire

Free your soul
Dismiss the past
The future is beaming
Help them enter at last

Free your soul
They will come and go
Don't let them stop you
It is your time to grow

Free your soul
Surrender to that sound
Let the music surround you
It will help you be found

Free your soul
It is your time to choose
No time to waste
This isn't a battle you lose

Free your soul
Let go of the pain
Your heart will thank you
Don't let is stay strained


Free your soul
You know how


-FreeMind

The smell of your cologne lingers by as you walk past my desk.
I can’t help but think of your touch.
How would you taste like on my lips?
Two can play this game.
But I can’t go for you.
Not really.

Is that all there is to life?

She dreads going to sleep,
for she knows, she will wake
up to see tomorrow.
She fills her stomach up with
Red Bull and Modanfinil,
praying that one of them
will keep her eyes from
closing shut. But she knows.
She knows that no matter
how much she tries to
stretch out this wretched day,
tomorrow will come.
And she will live on.
Because she was too afraid to make it stop.

Is that all there is to life?

I promised him I would stop cutting, and I did
Because what I hated most was inside
And he was hurting it just fine without my help



By : FreeMind

I said I would not write about you
But here I am, once more.

It's all because I banned you from my heart
Yet you managed to stay in my mind
Crawling back every night
To steal my reasoning away from me
Leaving me blind
Making me follow my emotions
Until I reach you, once more.


-FreeMind

A tempting desire arises when I look inside your eyes,
Such history and mystery concealed by just one smile.

To rob me of my conscious and free me of distress,
Makes you the best of demons that I have ever met.

Now take me away, down the empty hidden hole,
And promise me to cure all of my broken soul...




-FreeMind

Life became unpredictable
Too hard to handle, Too difficult to follow
A cry for help would result in the loss of time
And yet remaining silent would almost eat me alive

Death became wanted
Constantly desired, Constantly thought of
No one knew, but me and my best friend scissors
There was nothing here that could make me want to stay


And that is when I
Became an Accidental Poet...



By : FreeMind

Tell me the lie Im dying to hear.
Tell me you love me.


-FreeMind

You've sewn your heart on mine
With a needle the size of a knife


-FreeMind

A mirror is placed in front of a mirror
And I stand in between.

I'm trapped in the devils portal
Cursed to see nothing but my sorrow.

I weep in fear but am too afraid to move
And before I know it, I become a part of the spirit world.



-FreeMind

The fireplace is keeping my hands warm
The smell of cinnamon is just starting to fill the room
The innocence of "Jingle Bells" brings pleasant comfort to my ears
And my tongue has just turned red from too much candy cane

But even though I'm standing under the mistletoe with the glaring lights of the Christmas tree accentuating the sparkles in my eyes
My heart remains cold.

Because I know where you are and what you are doing
Because I know that I am tied down to reality I can't seem to avoid

And I pray
I pray to anyone that might hear, to anyone that might help
That my heart be liberated

So it can finally feel the warmth of a snowy Christmas night


-FreeMind

Is it a sin to remember you five years too late?
To think of your soft lips and rough hands?
To wish that you would come back?

The more I think, the more I realize that I don't mind sinning. I will make a deal with the devil, and sacrifice all I've got. I will bathe in blood under the full moon, and lay in a circle of crystals. I will do anything and everything.

Just please,
come back.

I take off my skin
As if it is old, ***** clothes
That you damaged with your hands

I need to change.



-FreeMind

Joy, my desirable necessity,
Is extracted from my soul effortlessly,
Replaced by a deserted feeling.
Pleading me to embrace this emptiness.

Overtaken by darkness,
“JOY! JOY!”
I’m yelling now, Screaming, Losing my mind.
Where did the heart shaped boxes go?!

Falling back upon my knees,
With a thousand empty,
pleas
Piercing the night, with far from melodious moans.

Oh thief where have you done with my
Joy?
For, she is mine and mine alone.
The lid was not yours to remove!

My lips feeling lonely,
Missing you and you only.
My heart beating slowly,
There's nothing left in this world that is holy.

You were divine,
No ones but mine.
And now that you are gone,
I can't bear to be alone

Lonliness shrouding the day with fright.
Scattering mindless thoughts in night,
Reminding me that is she is not mine.
Upon those sweet lips I wish to dine.

Now that my joy is gone
Another, must my love, live upon.
She can never take the place of my joy
Loneliness will be nothing but a toy


BY: Marty & FreeMind

He was my forever rose.
The beauty that he possessed was irresistible,
To the point where the pain of his thorns began to feel pleasant.
Joy.

He was my elixir.
Designed to blind me from everything but love for him.
And so I left my life to join his, in hopes of living in this eternal lie.
Obsession.

He was Hercules.
The hero of my imagination. A hero of my own making.
Designed to have pride, power, loyalty, trust... All you could wish for.
Naivety.

He was my work of art.
A collage of his best traits, that I put together myself.
Only to have each piece go through self-destruction. It wouldn't last.
Disappointment.

He was the abuser.
Using my weaknesses against me.
Through words and actions, he tore through the petals of the Lotus.
The End.

You proved to be manipulative.
I proved to be a fool.


-FreeMind

Together we stood looking out onto the sunset,
The perfect mixture of purple, pink, and orange.
A sunset that seemed to last forever.

And thats what we had hoped for. The never ending sunset,
So we could cherish every second by each others side.

Lips locked and hands held tight we waited for the sun to disappear.
And when it finally vanished into the emptiness that surrounded us,
It did not feel too bad. Not bad at all.

But all I had to do was look up,
To realize that you were no longer by my side.
You disappeared with the sun; with the purple, pink, and orange.

I remained frozen. Absorbed by nothingness.
The love we shared was purifying and yet it was too good to last.
And although I want you back...
There was a price to pay for our happiness.
For joy and pleasure, who's deadline we thought we could surpass.
And so we had to pay for it all...

The Price of You and Me.



-FreeMind

I said I wouldn't, but I lied. I
Will open the window for you if you
Promise to visit me once more. I
Will let you enter and stay with me tonight, if you
Promise not to leave me again.
Not even if I ask.
Not even if I beg.

The scent of innocence clung on to her,
Spreading over to those passing by,
Cleansing them of their sins.

The purity of her soul overwhelmed those in the wrong,
They knew they stand no chance against her goodness.
Her ability to start over, to let go of the past,
Was mesmerizing to those that have fallen.

She became an inspiration,
A motivation,
To all who were around.

Praise to her, the creation of the Sun.
They joy, the light,
That she shone upon them, made them all feel worthy.

The love for her grew stronger,
Spread quicker,
Until she was not enough to sustain the desires of others.
And so they took her,
Not willing to share.
They ruined her.

They put an end to the Lotus.


-FreeMind

"You must purify yourself"
He hands me the blade and slowly steps away.
Waiting for the wave of sins to flood the unholy ground.
Counting seconds, he keeps his gaze on me,
Lost in the cruelty of this world that destroyed his love.
He blames me.
For all the wrong doing. For the misery he suffered.
And not for a moment does he realize his faults.
Denying the truth, he is convinced of my crime.
Lacking patience he takes the blade back and does destiny's work.

Cover in a pool of my own blood, he uses his hands to cary me out.
For a moment, I am filled with hope that he will save me, find help.
So naive.
With slow steps he reaches the cliff, and without a word, tosses me Away into the open ocean, where I find myself grasping for air.

My lungs refuse to operate,
I am disappearing into the darkness with the blood red ocean ahead,
But greet the ocean floor kindly, as it takes me in with pride.
At last, I allow my eyelids to drop shut, finally feeling free.


-FreeMind

Turning towards you,
Being wrapped inside your arms.
I feel the warmth of your breath on my forehead,
The comforts of you on my skin.

Breathing in every part of you.
Breathing out every part of me.

I get lost in your eyes even when you look away,
I get hypnotized by your smile even when you glare at me.

Your anger excites me, your joy amuses me.
Nothing truly matter when you are away from me.

Breathing in every part of you.
Breathing out every part of me.

Paranoid without you,
Turning selfish when in desperate need of you.

My carelessness caused me to become addicted.
This lust for you keeps growing, like a monster in me.

Breathing in every part of you.
Breathing out every part of me.

Oh baby, you can hurt me all you want.
You must know that I will still be here.
Just long enough before my need for you slowly kills me.

These deadly toxins are burning my insides,
But nothing will stop me from whispering
"I love you".


-FreeMind

I bury the thoughts of you deep, deep down
Into the emptiness that is now, simply, a ghost town

May these thoughts forever remain unharmed
Protected by the burst of emotions that shall keep them armed



-FreeMind

My head in the clouds,
My heart in the sky,
This is when I realize I cannot say goodbye.

Beauty surrounds me,
It fills my insides.
Nature is glory,
It is joy to my mind.

My hands in the air,
A sweet melody on my mind.
I am finally free,
Not drowning in the ocean glee.

Theres no reason to run,
No reason to hide.
Desire to explore the nature,
Is pervading inside.

My head in the clouds,
My heart in the sky,
This is when I realize I cannot say goodbye.



-FreeMind