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FreeMind May 2018
I needed you to find me.
Maybe then I would be saved...


By : FreeMind
#46
FreeMind Mar 2018
You took my most precious gem away from me,
And left me empty handed.

You shattered my soul into billions of pieces,
And left me broken on the streets.

Your selfishness destroyed me,
And caused the remainder of hope to vanish into thin air.

I am decaying...

My only question is,
Why didn't you **** me instead?


By : FreeMind
One Year Anniversary
FreeMind Mar 2018
The unmistakable smile-
As bright as the shining sun,
Is only visible when she enters the room,
Dazzling everyone.
Leaving me breathless, speechless.
I realize that life has only now begun.
Her beauty overwhelms me,
With promising words "We will have so much fun".



By : FreeMind
She is the sun. And although I am afraid of getting too close, this is a risk I am willing to take.. and all for the desire of 'Love'...
FreeMind Jul 2020
People are afraid of death, of being surrounded by the never ending Darkness.
Left alone with no one to comfort you and nowhere to go.
I see it differently. I see wholeness.
Peace.
A chance to finally be free.
July 8, 2020
#120
FreeMind Apr 2018
Life became unpredictable
Too hard to handle, Too difficult to follow
A cry for help would result in the loss of time
And yet remaining silent would almost eat me alive

Death became wanted
Constantly desired, Constantly thought of
No one knew, but me and my best friend scissors
There was nothing here that could make me want to stay


And that is when I
Became an Accidental Poet...



By : FreeMind
#36
22/04/18
FreeMind Mar 28
Listening to the song that you called your favorite in 2016,
thinking about you,
wondering if maybe you are thinking about me too...
March 28, 2021
#144
FreeMind May 2019
Sometimes I wish I could stop writing
About my affection

But my poems would become empty,
Meaningless

If they were no longer about You


By : FreeMind
May 25, 2019
#83
FreeMind Nov 2019
You didn't go away when I begged you to leave me alone
You stayed and ****** up all my dynamism
You got me hooked on your abuse
And when I needed you most you abandoned me, got up and
Left
Me the **** alone
Buried under layers of self-pity and guilt for pushing you away


By : FreeMind
November 8, 2019 (cuz nov 7 was too hard to write)
#98
FreeMind Sep 2020
No one knows my tears, my pain, my struggles, my thoughts like my Pillow
September 17, 2020
#125
FreeMind Jan 2019
You watch movies about affairs between teachers and students
And wonder how that could be.
"Why would they form such a relationship?"
It frightens you, but you console yourself
"It's only a movie".

Until it's not.
Because it happens to you.
And you wonder how could your kindness be mistaken
While he says "we should keep this a professional relationship".

But when was it anything else?


By : FreeMind
January 25, 2019
#73
FreeMind Apr 2020
Trees are whispering to the plants and to the flowers,
the secrets of the night.
Clouds are dancing, with the moonlight,
to the soothing symphony of the night.


-FreeMind
March 22, 2020
#106
FreeMind Dec 2019
I want to cut out the fat from my thighs,
Carve my body into the sculpture that would make Michelangelo jealous of my skills

Except that it wouldn't.
Because most don't find skeletons appealing to the eye...


By : FreeMind
December 22, 2019
#100

MY 100s POEM PUBLISHED!
FreeMind Oct 2020
I'd like to think that I can speak to you with my mind. That our thoughts are interlinked, intertwined, like our DNA which can only be altered by a mutation. What is the mutation of our relationship?
Is it the force? Is it the fear? Is it the lack of trust?
Is it me?
Is it me?
Is it me?
October 11, 2020
#128
FreeMind Jun 2019
I promised him I would stop cutting, and I did
Because what I hated most was inside
And he was hurting it just fine without my help



By : FreeMind
June 17, 2019
#87
FreeMind Apr 2018
Stolen glances.
Secret notes.
Distortion of reality occurs.

He can no longer control himself.
The sight of her awakens tender feelings -
That were once buried deep down
From the last time he got his heart broken.

He prays that this time it will be different...

An increase in hope, a decrease in fear.
Her smooth lips against his cheeks.
The way her hips sway as she walks his way.

How can he stop thinking of that lovely soul?
How could he not wish, not want more?

Beautiful Girl.
The glory in her eyes
Overwhelms him inside.
Beautiful Girl.
That precious smile-
She is all that he desires.

If only she was truly his...


-FreeMind
#37
26/04/18
FreeMind Jun 2019
"They only read me because I'm short and simple..."

-Struggles of a Poem


-FreeMind
Still wondering why the poems that mean so much to me mean so little to everyone else... can people not relate, or do they just refuse to read them?
June 4, 2019
#85
FreeMind Sep 2019
and what else is there for me to see
in a world in which i am no longer free


-FreeMind
September 10, 2019
#92
FreeMind Aug 2018
Your lips are filled with poison
But all I want to do
Is kiss them


-FreeMind
#54
August 3, 2018
FreeMind Feb 2018
You torn my wings away from me,
Put shackles on my feet so that I wouldn't run away,
Abusing me day after wretched day.

You imprisoned me in the world where I did not belong,
Watching my endless attempts to escape,
As if I wasn't kept down with the massive amount of tape.

And now because of you I'm fallen.
You ruined the pure angel that saw the good in you,
And now I'm cast out of my home.
You jeopardizes my future for your personal amusement,
And now I'm wicked.  
And now I'm gone.


-FreeMind
#15
FreeMind Feb 2018
At 5 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "pretty".
They sat hand in hand
And played pretend
That they were "Oh so ready!"
She told her friends
So they all giggled without an end.

At 10 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "gross".
"Too much hair! Look at that fat!
I'd rather like a monkey instead!"
Tears rolled down,
Self esteem has broke.
She told no one,
Because she already knew
What she was...

At 15 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "beautiful".
So strong and tall,
She gave no thought
But loved him always more.
"He is no good for you"
"Find someone better"
She let these words fly past.
They stood hand in hand
Against the world
They always stood together.

But something changed...

No longer interested in her
"I can not wait no more!"
He robbed her of her flower once,
And then once more.
Regret and tears,
Nothing more.
She held it all inside too long.
She asked for help.
In need of aid.
But got nothing more
Than blue, purple, and red
All over her.

At 17 years old
She liked no one.
She went nowhere.
She did nothing.
She wanted forgiveness.
She wanted life to simply end.
No words to speak.
Only thoughts filled her now.
The "Why?" and "What?" and "How?"
They almost killed her.
She cried all night.
She sat all day
With nothing else getting in her way.
All alone,
No longer her,
Thinking of the best way,
To finally give in
And say,

Goodbye...



-FreeMind
#19
FreeMind Jun 2018
By the lonely river

I sat waiting for you.
Hoping that you would come back for me.
We would hold hands and talk about the future we never received.
Laugh about the endless memories that were never made.
But you were just like the long, cold river.
And I knew you would not stop for me.
So I sat aimlessly, alone

By the lonely river.



-FreeMind
#50
June 25, 2018
FreeMind Feb 2019
I take off my skin
As if it is old, ***** clothes
That you damaged with your hands

I need to change.



-FreeMind
February 21, 2019
#76
FreeMind Dec 2018
The fireplace is keeping my hands warm
The smell of cinnamon is just starting to fill the room
The innocence of "Jingle Bells" brings pleasant comfort to my ears
And my tongue has just turned red from too much candy cane

But even though I'm standing under the mistletoe with the glaring lights of the Christmas tree accentuating the sparkles in my eyes
My heart remains cold.

Because I know where you are and what you are doing
Because I know that I am tied down to reality I can't seem to avoid

And I pray
I pray to anyone that might hear, to anyone that might help
That my heart be liberated

So it can finally feel the warmth of a snowy Christmas night


-FreeMind
December 22, 2018
#68
CHV
FreeMind Dec 2020
CHV
Your hand moving up my thigh,
Your lips on my neck,
Our bodies intertwined.

Things might have ended roughly, but every fortnight I think about you
Dreaming of what could have been
Wishing that we still had a choice, an option, a chance..

If I could do it all over again, I would.
I would cry and scream and fight, but in the end of it all I would have spent another year with you.
Kissing, Hugging, F.......
Making memories
with You
December 28, 2020
#139
FreeMind Jun 2018
Turning towards you,
Being wrapped inside your arms.
I feel the warmth of your breath on my forehead,
The comforts of you on my skin.

Breathing in every part of you.
Breathing out every part of me.

I get lost in your eyes even when you look away,
I get hypnotized by your smile even when you glare at me.

Your anger excites me, your joy amuses me.
Nothing truly matter when you are away from me.

Breathing in every part of you.
Breathing out every part of me.

Paranoid without you,
Turning selfish when in desperate need of you.

My carelessness caused me to become addicted.
This lust for you keeps growing, like a monster in me.

Breathing in every part of you.
Breathing out every part of me.

Oh baby, you can hurt me all you want.
You must know that I will still be here.
Just long enough before my need for you slowly kills me.

These deadly toxins are burning my insides,
But nothing will stop me from whispering
"I love you".


-FreeMind
#47
June 1, 2018
FreeMind Apr 2019
Some things were brought together by the universe

Sun and Moon
Sky and Sea
Fire and Water
You and Me

I suppose we were meant to be


-FreeMind
April 7, 2019
#80
FreeMind Oct 2018
I said I would not write about you
But here I am, once more.

It's all because I banned you from my heart
Yet you managed to stay in my mind
Crawling back every night
To steal my reasoning away from me
Leaving me blind
Making me follow my emotions
Until I reach you, once more.


-FreeMind
October 23, 2018
#64
FreeMind Sep 2018
You left
And I began to bloom.
All I needed was a little light,
But you kept it away with your dark desires.


-FreeMind
#58
September 21, 2018
FreeMind Mar 2018
And seeing them together
~Their eyes filled with affection~
Felt like being stabbed in the chest with a dull knife.

Pain spreading through my body like a disease,
Infected with the sorrow of rejection and replacement,
Torturing me day and night without an end.

So awful it is, to finally realize that you were never 'The One',
That there was always 'The Other'.
To realize that your Hope has vanished into thin air,
That Faith has been murdered by their lies.

Desire to disappear has never been so strong.
Lulling me further and further away.
I allow my destiny to be controlled by my shattered heart.


-FreeMind
#33
FreeMind Feb 2018
The door was wide open,
And yet I found nothing intriguing as I sat in front of it -
Slowly watching people pass by.

The door started to close,
And only when it became ajar did I realize that something was wrong.
I yelled for help as the darkness started to consume me,
Still through the door I could see the people just passing by,
Not daring to look in my direction.

The door was fully shut.
And I was disappeared.
Completely consumed by the darkness that I have become so familiar with.
There was nothing friendly about it.
Nothing that I had hoped.
It was plain darkness.
Unfortunately for me...
Nothing more...



-FreeMind
28.12.16
FreeMind Sep 23
Is it a sin to remember you five years too late?
To think of your soft lips and rough hands?
To wish that you would come back?

The more I think, the more I realize that I don't mind sinning. I will make a deal with the devil, and sacrifice all I've got. I will bathe in blood under the full moon, and lay in a circle of crystals. I will do anything and everything.

Just please,
come back.
September 24, 2020
#152
FreeMind Jul 2018
Tomorrow morning, the sun will rise again,
And the moon will disappear...

I know I don't ask for much,
But I am in need of a favor.

Make it stop.
Please make it stop.

I don't want the sun or the moon.
I just want to be left alone, in the Dark.

I want it to stop.
The world to stop this cycle of madness.

But no one is listening to me.
And so I ask you.

My dear, lovely friend, Death,
End my misery, and end my pain.
Help me get out of this hell of a game.


-FreeMind
#52
July 3, 2018
FreeMind Feb 2018
Why are they afraid of you my love?
Can't they see you're perfect?

Taking me away on rides,
Trips, and on vacation.
You protect me from all of this,
Free me of these duties.
Make me feel like I am whole,
Surround me with all your beauties.

They all complain that you're no good,
But you're my only blessing.

I don't need another lover,
Darkness is the one I need,
He'll be gentle, not judgmental,
He's the only one I need.

I've always been his number one,
His favorite little girl,
He loved me since the start-
Day one!
I am his truly.  

They can say what they want,
I am not afraid.
I love you,
And I promise to find a way,
and to stay with you,
Regardless of my duties.

Oh Lover,
I can't wait, until we are together.
I have a plan! I'll speed it up!
I'll be there soon Oh Lover!

I found a tiny little tool,
That will bring us closer.
All I have to do it cut and see the a substance
Red like love.

I'm ready,
I'll soon be gone.
No one stops me,
They've let me go.
And now I'm free,
And now I'm yours.

Oh Lover,
Take me in your arms,
And never let me go.
I am Yours,
And You are Mine.
Oh Lover, Oh Lover!


-FreeMind
#22
FreeMind Jul 2019
An hour before the sunrise I went for a run
But I pulled a muscle and decided to walk slowly instead
As the sun started to rise
I decided to take a different path
A path that led me closer to the colors
I walked until I could not walk any further
But there was absolutely no need
The ocean was already in front of me
If I was an artist I would have painted that beautiful scenery, but I am not, so I just watched
Suddenly remembering the girl I met at the library
Every time she sneezed the librarian would shush her - "shhh" - and she would blush because everyone would stare at her
She seemed worried so I sat by her and comforted her the best I could
It felt the same way right now
Everything still and completely silent as if the world has ended
And yet the girl was the ocean, and the waves were the sneeze that brought me back from my day dreams to concentrate on here and now
So it made sense to swim
I ran, still dressed in my running attire
I jumped, into the cold water
I swam, until I could not swim any longer
Until the muscle that I pulled could not take it any longer
Until my lunges could not breathe fast enough
Until my whole body decided to shut down
And even though I started drowning
I could not stop admiring the beauty around me
Which I held onto as an anchor until my body became numb and my heart stopped beating


-FreeMind
July 16, 2019
#90
FreeMind Jun 2018
Distancing herself away, from the so called 'Love'.
This Love that everyone praises and admires.
This Love that people always desire.

Love.
He said it was Love too.
The kisses, the presents. That was all his Love.
But so were the arguments, the fights.
Love was chaos.
But doesn't everyone want Love.
To feel Love, at least once?
And so she fell for it.
For his mysterious gaze. For his slight smile.
For the Love that he offered.

But the innocent hugs came to an end.
That was not enough.
His greed wanted more. Wanted the satisfaction from this Love.
So when he held her against her will, and called it Love,
She felt ashamed for crying.
Ashamed for asking him to stop, Ashamed for saying no.
But that did not stop him.
Because in his eyes, it was Love.

Love.
The excuse he used to hurt her.
To abuse her.
To destroy her.
And she remained silent.
Isolating herself from those that could help.
How could she hate him if he was doing it out of Love?
How could she leave when all it was - was Love?

But it's never what it seems, is it..?

Love is a lie.

Love is dead.








And so is she.
June 21, 2018
#66
FreeMind Apr 2018
Her mind is playing tricks again.
This "imagination" seems too real.

Tick-Tock
He can't possibly be here.
Claws scrapping on the wooden door,
Silent laughter, threatening grin.
Whispering "I am finally here".
Step by step, approaching her night-bed.
There is no need for that.
He took what he needed, her ability to Breathe.
Tick-Tock

She is suffocating.
Unable to let out a sound.
Choking on tears.
Fighting for her life.
Too late...
Her hands are tied,
Her eyes are shut.
A mute...

Day and Night won't pass without him stopping by.
She asks for help, they stare and laugh.
But they don't know she's just his start.

Distortion of the mind? Or is this life?
It is for You, dear reader, to decide.


-FreeMind
#35 17/04/18
FreeMind Feb 2018
In the Darkness
The only Light I see
Is the one that comes from within me.

It bursts right through my broken soul,
It fills me in,
It makes me whole.  

The misplaced doll is fixed once more.


-FreeMind
#14
FreeMind Oct 5
Unlovable,
like a spider on your bedroom door that you
want to get rid off but are too afraid to ****.
Unnoticeable,
like the paperclip you misplaced and
completely forgot about.
Useless,
like dull scissors that don't cut.
Me.
October 6, 2021
#154
FreeMind Dec 2020
I want to kiss the girl of my dreams
but every time our lips meet
I wake up








I would do anything to never wake up
December 13, 2020
#137
FreeMind May 2018
At last, we meet again.

So deeply devoted to one another,
Our hearts beat to the same rhythm.
"Boom. Boom."

That charming gaze, delightful smile.
I let you carry me away.

And off we go.
Flying through the cotton clouds,
Eyes filled with happy tears,
Never wanting it to end.

"Destiny awaits us!"
So utterly consumed in each other.
Two love birds unable to let go.

The softness of your palm against my cheek,
Leaning in too close,
Laughing at our little jokes.

Everything is finally falling into the proper place.



But at last,
I wake up.

And you are gone once more.


-FreeMind
#41
07/05/18
7 months gone
FreeMind Oct 7
They want you
thinking you are as easy as a piece of cake. Not realizing that you are as sour as a lime, as spicy as a chili pepper.
So you **** yourself before any of them can get to you first.

You play with yourself life Tchaikovsky played the piano, to feel a certain high. To feel anything that might make you
forget the pent-up anger that you have build up for years. Those stupid souls, they will never understand, they will never know.

They want you.
It's an addiction, it's an obsession.
You can't get away.

They want you.
October 8, 2021
#155
FreeMind Mar 2020
When you left, I made a decision to get rid of everything you gave me
everything you touched, everything you looked at, everything you liked.
I burned the poems and tore the pictures and chopped off all my hair
But the essence of you was still surrounding me
I searched for your presence in all the object I owned but realized too late that you have merged our souls
with all the jokes, and all the memories, and all the unspoken words

When you left, you left a part of you behind.
You left a part of you in me.
So I cut my wrists, and thighs, and stomach.
And I cut more and I cut deeper.
Hoping that one of these many cuts would **** you before it got to
me



-FreeMind
March 21, 2020
#105
FreeMind Feb 2018
Everything was falling apart.

Life was being crushed by all these Hopes and Dreams
That one has created for themselves but could never reach.
No matter the effort, Nothing worked out.
It was an endless cycle of disappointment...

You were there too. You stood and watched.
And yet were blind to all that was happening.
You did not feel that fire,
You did not feel the pain,
You ignored the tsunami of issues that consumed me whole.

How could you?
How could you be so oblivious to the torture I was put through?
Why did you?
Why did you leave when I needed you most?



Death is a joke and I can't stop laughing...



-FreeMind
1
FreeMind May 2018
Hours turned into days, then weeks and months,
And yet the wooden logs stayed cool.
Abandoned and untouched, isolated from the world.

Suddenly, almost reaching the speed at which the fire has Diminished, a light spark landed in the exact middle of the logs.
Although it hardly changed a thing, it began the Tipping Point.
More and more sparks were shot into the logs,
Starting a small irrelevant fire.
But the sparks kept appearing, and after the months of coolness
Fire was born. Burning larger and larger. Creating heat and warmth. Sending a pleasant smoke with a sweet smelling aroma of cinnamon. The sparks have ended and yet the fire they created
Erupted the fireplace with life. Sweet, warm, cozy life.
That was missed, but never forgotten.
That seemed distant, but always desired.

This fire will burn on.
Regardless of heavy rain or wind.
This fire must burn on.
As it is the only thing keeping me sane.


-FreeMind
#42
08/05/18
"The Tipping Point" is wonderful!
FreeMind Jun 28
I wonder if all poets write about you.
A version of you
that I will never know
or never see
or never want to be with.
Endless poems filled with your thoughts and actions and feelings
June 29, 2021
#147
FreeMind Jan 2020
There was always
something different
in the way
You looked at
Me

But I still
can't tell
if it was something in
You, or something in
Me


-FreeMind
January 4, 2020
#101
FreeMind Nov 2018
I still remember the day you took my hand,
Kissed my forehead,
And told me you didn't love me.


-FreeMind
November 13, 2018
#66
FreeMind May 2020
I'd like to say that I never loved you, but the truth is, I didn't know what love was.
We create our own concept of love
based on our thoughts of what it is and what it should be.
We learn from our parents, from the books we read, from the movies we watch, and decide for ourselves what we want to receive.
I thought that to keep you happy I had to endure the emotional and physical pain you caused me. And in return you would buy me flowers, teddy bears, chocolates.
That was love.

But that's not what it is anymore.
May 25, 2020
#111
FreeMind Jul 2019
After 2 years 5 months and 6 days
She left him
"Go have some fun"
He had all the fun with her
"Do what you love"
She was the only one he loved
"Find yourself!"
He already did
He found himself in her laugh
In her soft palms and smooth hands
In her wrinkles right by her eyes
In her mole on her left shoulder
In her scar above the belly button
In her toes that were always painted black
In her hair that smelled of daisies
He found himself in her worst fears
In her pet peeves
In her favorite books
In her day dreams
In her habits and in her confidence
In her
He found himself,
Or better yet,
His better self
When he was surrounded by her

So why did she do it?
Why did she leave?
It was to torture him
No
It was because she could not get used to his silly hair
No
It was because she never loved him
No
She did.
She loved him.
But that was not enough for her.

She wanted to love herself.


-FreeMind
June 30, 2019
#89
FreeMind Sep 2019
There is a mole on your cheek
Right on the side of your lips
It wrinkles when you smile
Is that why you cover your face with your palm when you laugh?
Or are you just trying to seem polite?
You wipe your face with a napkin even before the food arrives
You stay at home on rainy days in fear of water
That could magically wash away all your make up
You sit in the dark corner of the restaurant afraid of too much light
That could draw too much attention to you
What are you afraid of?
You hide yourself behind the covers of books in public places
Staying a few steps too far from the general crowd
Hoping that the person looking your way forgot their glasses at home
And all for what?
Why are you terrified of exposure
When in my eyes you look like the first flower of spring?


-FreeMind
September 14, 2019
#93
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