I’ve got an attitude
But I’m not so sure why
It’s just another crazy thing
That I just can’t let by

I’ll list things that annoy me
If that’s okay with you
It goes to Pluto, and then back
So I’ll just list a few

I hate it when the younger ones
Think they know better than me
Or think they have authority
To come and try to boss me

I hate it when the older ones
Think they can just ignore me
And public business comes around
They try to keep it from me

It’s bad enough when I don’t win
But that wont make me mad
What I hate, oh who I hate it
When the winners brag

I hate it when folks say things to me
To make me feel so small
But then their only motive
Is to make themselves feel tall

They tell me that my ways are wrong
Though they don’t know the right way
I get this not just once a while
But every single day

I hate it that when I am wronged
There’s no apology
Instead they shake their snooty hips
And spit their tongue at me

If people would just slow it down
And be kind or nice to me
They might just find how happy of
A person I can be

#3_5/10/11

He's so beautiful when he's sleeping.
And even though his eyes are closed
I can tell he's dreaming.

He's smiling while he's sleeping.
And even though he may not know it
I can see him beaming.

His eyes are bright when he is sleeping.
And though his eye lids try to hide them
I can feel his soft eyes gleaming.

I shouldn’t watch him sleeping.
For if he wakes and sees me here
He'll know that I was looking.

Is it strange I watched as he was sleeping?
It's just when he sleeps he looks so happy,
And he's warm and soft when he's sleeping.

I shouldn’t watch him sleeping.
For I look really silly here
And there's a chance he's peeping.

I want to touch his face a-sleeping.
But we are not alone in here
And the others'll think I'm creeping.

I love to see his face a-sleeping.
And it pains my heart to know he knows
Others find his face appalling.

I can't wait 'till he's done sleeping.
I want to hear his voice like thunder
But right now he is sleeping.

I can't wait 'till he's done sleeping.
I want to see his eyes of fire
But right now he is sleeping.

I want not to bother him, or wake him while he's sleeping.
I just want to watch him 'cause
He's beautiful when he's sleeping.



#13_3/31/13

His smile, how I love it
That very smile that always brings me up
The one that always lights the place
The on that clears the darkness when on his face

His hands, those soft hands
Those strong and hard working hands
The warm fingers on those hands
Oh, how they make my heart dance

His arms, his legs
How strong yet so graceful
They move with such beauty
They make my body want to dance

But those eyes, how I love them
Through them I can see him
His soul, it burns of umber
That beautiful, beautiful burnt umber

And through those beautiful eyes
I see his bright, happy soul
The one that lights up my soul
And causes it to burn purple

Those dark brown eyes, how I love them
The ones that always seem to smile
Even when his lips do not, they smile
They always smile

And his soul, that strong soul
That merry soul, that calm soul
The one that is seldom flustered, or frustrated
Of at least has a hard time showing so

Those dark brown eyes, the windows to his soul
Those dark but shining eyes
Those joyful smiling eyes
Those dark brown eyes, how I love them


#9_11/15/2011

Today my name is fire
Burning taller than oak trees;
I started when a little spark
had caught a little breeze.

I’m burning hot, very mad
‘Cause they told me to cease;
But they can’t stop me , nor control me;
No animal would dare come near me.

Now that I am water,
I’m calm as calm can be;
I flow on down the river ‘till
I reach the calm vast sea.

Healing, calming, life giving
Are things that I perform;
Though soothing aches is easer
When my heart is warm.

Now they call me air
And I’ll say this to you;
You just may not see me here
But you see what I can do.

Cooling, moving, breath taking
When I am fairly light;
But when I’m confused, spinning ‘round
It’s a very tragic sight

Now I go by earth,
And right here’s where I’ll stay;
I’ll stand right here, high, rough and tough
Every single day.

I’m hard to move, you can’t shift me,
Not one teeny, tiny bit;
You can’t deal with a stubborn rock
That’s had a little fit.

So for the future you should know
To never ever try me
‘Cause you may never ever know
Which element I might be

Mad as fire, stubborn rock
Or water, calm and still
Free as air you never know
The way that I feel


#2_ 2011

Love;
It's one of those things where if you have it
You know it for sure
And if you're not sure, you don't

A while ago I gave up on love
Because every time I got it, and thought I had it
Some one very close to me came and took it away
And I am left without it

At first I was doing well
I would not fall for it
I would see a nice guy, but would not buy it
Or, a boy would like me, but I'd avoid it

But now I've fallen in to it, the well of love
Oh, how deep is this well, with walls so wet I can't climb up
At last I splash in a pool of water
A pool of love

And in this pool I'm drowning
Now I am floating, flowing down a river
I am spit out at an oasis, a beautiful oasis
But now I'm breathing, even under the water

And now I am swimming, I am in control
I now see the way out, but I dare not go near it
For it is a desert out there, dry and lifeless
A desert with no water, no love

This love, I feel it
I know not if he knows it but I feel it
It's warmth, it's life
I want to surround myself in it

I dare not lose it
Too many times I have lost it
It is mine! I will hold on to it
No one will take it from me, lest they die!

Now I believe in love
And it's all thanks to him
He unburied my love
Now I love him


#11_11/28/2011

My feet are bare, my toes are curled
I stand upon the wet winter morning grass

My arms are down, my nose is up
The winter morning wind is on my face

But as I stand there, what is to catch my eye?
It is, indeed, the winter morning sky

How I love it, the way the sky glistens beyond the treetops
The rainbow of orange, pink, then purple

This show of colors, it brings the cardinal and redbreasts out their nests to sing
And yes, we do have them in the winter

This display of wonder
How it makes me feel so warm yet so cool

This display of beauty
How it makes me feel at home yet so far away

This display of greatness
That paints the whole sky from horizon to horizon

This display of colors
How they dance across the sky from cloud to cloud

It's beautiful, isn't it?
How He starts every winter morning with His artwork

His brush strokes are perfect
He makes sure every colored cloud is in its place

He truly is a genius
To think He does this every morning, different every time

To think
It's so beautiful and complex, so elegant

To think
He does it on purpose, just for us

To think
Every winter morning, He sits down, and paints the winter morning sky

#12_2/25/2012

So it's your fourteenth birthday and you must compose a list
A list of anything you want as a birthday gift
But what if the thing you want is really hard to say
The one and only thing you want on this birthday

Most girls my age might want an ipad or a phone
New makeup, a Nintendo or a laptop of their own
But the only thing I want, it would forever last
The one simple thing in which is from my past

All I want is him. Oh, how I miss him
Late June marked three years since I've seen him
It's been too long we've been apart
I want him, yet distance keeps us apart

Oh him, the one. What love shared
In my head I felt he cared
He made me laugh, and never cry
Never could I say goodbye

So can you see, just try to see
That the one thing you can give to me
Though he stands alone on my list
I never got my birthday wish



#7_8/9/11

Imagine he were a tree
See the leaves, the beautiful leaves?
See the beautiful patterns as they dance in the wind
Now imagine time is the wind

Imagine I am the child
See her so happy, see she loves the leaves?
Imagine the tree is her's and she is the tree's
And imagine time is the wind

Imagine she plays on the tree
See how she hugs it? See how she loves it?
Imagine her sorrow if the wind blew her leaves away
Now remember, time is the wind

Imagine the wind is mild
Can you see all the patterns in the wind?
Creating dances soft and mild
And yes, time is the wind

Imagine the dances
See all of nature join in
Hear the song that nature gives us
The susurrus of the leaves in the wind

Imagine the leaves a-blowing
Imagine all the patterns in the wind
The leaves; they're leaving, they're going!
Recall, what was the wind?

Imagine the tears of the child
As she tries to catch her leaves again
She can not bear to see then going
Oh, time, you wind!

Imagine the sorrow in her heart
Running, running; never stopping again
But she can't stop them, but only gaze
Upon the patterns in the wind

Imagine her running, oh, the child
See her stumble, and fall to the earth?
See her dirt stained tears as she watches her love, her life,
Vanish in patterns in the wind

Imagine, as she lies in the dirt
As she lets the tears of sorrow run down her face
See, the wind brings back a leaf; just one leaf
Oh time, you wind

Imagine her joy, when she sees the leaf at her hand
See she hugs it, she loves it, and plants the seed within
She wants to see her tree, but growth is in time
And time is in the wind

Imagine her joy, imagine her peace
When she sees her tree again
See the leaves, the beautiful leaves
See how they dance in the wind

Imagine the child is happy
Because she now has he, the tree
Dancing with leaves and the wind
As she watches all the patterns in the wind



#14_10/8/13

Sometimes I look at myself
And ask “Lord, why this, why that;
And I am blinded from the world
And where it’s really at.

Why must my house be so small
While others’ very great?
And though my words seem meaningful
My heart is full of hate.

Why must my wardrobe be so scarce,
I wish I did have more?
And some kids have a pair of pants,
Two tops and nothing more.

Sometimes I am ponderous
Of why I have asked “why?”
And when I look back o’er my life
I do so with a sigh.

Lord, forgive me when I act this way
I’ve been this way since birth.
I know You can forgive
‘Cause Your greatness fills the earth.


#1_ 12/9/10

The most bitter tears fall to the earth forgotten.
Seep
Drip
Fall
Splat.
Drip drop,
Puddle puddle,
Tink tonk tap.

The most bitter tears fall to the earth forgotten.
Leak
Lunge
Fall
Splat.
Pitter patter
Seep sop
Tink tonk tap.

#16_3/19/14

Do you know me?
I know you
You are the same stuck-up person
you’ve always been
You think you’re perfect,
Always right and better than everybody else
You might not think you think that
But you do

You think you can never slip up
But if you do, you’re still perfect
You try to make everything about you
Even when you know it’s not

You say bad things about people
To make yourself look good
And you have no idea
How many hearts you’re hurting

So how much do you know about me?
I doubt it’s very much
You know nothing
So I’m going to help you out

You know those things that you do and expect me to do but I don’t
It’s not because I’m rebellious
But because it’s hard
You have no idea how hard it is for me

You have no idea that I cry myself to sleep every night
Thinking about what you said to me
How you treated me
What you did to me

You have no idea who I am, or what I’m like
Because I never get my thoughts around
Whenever I’m angry, or have a problem
I’m forced to hold back my words, because I have to behave

So after all that
After everything I told you
Do you know me like I know you?
No. You don’t



#6_7/30/2011

Love is a delicate piece of art
It is beautiful in every way
Beautiful to look at, to be around
And warms any heart

Love is a handcrafted porcelain sculpture
God sits on his throne and fashions it Himself
Each person's love as different as a snowflake
He finds joy in doing this, He is the only one who can

He decorates His work with figures such as open flowers
He may use gentle songbirds, or brave angels
Every one is different
He then gives us our love in our mother's womb

We are born with it, we live with it
We try to let it show
We embrace it, we share it
But we don't just let it go

We must be careful to whom we give our love
Not everyone is worthy, they may drop it
It will shatter to pieces, and we are left without it
Our hearts are left broken

My love was broken
I never tried to mend it, only God can mend it
But before you try to mend it you must clean it up
It is a shattered mess and only time can clean it

Then God must come down through someone to mend this broken love
He picks someone very special to do this
When you meet this very special person they restore your love
You forever share this love

I have met this person, the one God sent for me
He mended my love and it is now whole
It now shines with songbirds and open flowers
It now glows purple

My love is now whole because of him
I never want to lose him
He mended my love
Oh, how I love him


#11_2/23/2012

Love

Out of everything we’d want or need

Love will not forsake us

Everyone is loved; God loves us



Love flows

Like a river love flows

Ongoing, never stopping

Like a river love flows



Water

Love is like the water

Going down a river, a long, long river, is water

Never stopping, ‘till cold, ‘till frozen



Water moves

Swishing, splashing, vile eroding

Carrying that evil thing until it hits the sea

And we don’t know how far away that is going to be



Water falls

Filling every river, rain falls from the sky

If the rain stops the river runs dry

And not a thirsty sole can drink



But somewhere out there, there is water

And there is love

In which that thirsty sole will find, intake, and cherish

And every thirsty sole can drink



For there is always water, and there is always love

Though you might think it’s there

Love is plentiful, love is good

And God is good and God is love, and God loves us



#4_5/24/ 2011

You, young man, have scarred me
Everywhere I go I wear this scar you gave me
Not physically but mentally you hurt me
And I hate it

I will never forget what you did to me that day
You showed me things I need not know
And told me things I need not hear
they’ll never leave my eye, my ear

You don’t know how those things changed me
Or how I go everywhere fearing it will happen again
And even though I love you, you scare me
All guys scare me

Not only does it hurt
But nay can I share it
I never share it, because I'm afraid to
And even if I did it wouldn’t help

I wish you never did it
I hope you still don’t do it
Not only does it hurt me but you as well
You hurt yourself

So I hope you see all you did to me
And all you put upon me;
And you may ask what you did to me
The way you touched me, you scarred me



#8_8/28/2011

When we were young
Life was a simple, straight sidewalk;
Lined with grasses and paved with smiles
And covered in chalk

When we were young
We could run hand in hand and
If I ever happened to fall
You would pick me up again

We shared smiles like animal crackers
And laughs like candy
And even a bed, but it was okay
Because we were young

We spared every moment like the last sip of juice
And shared them with no one
We never split, and it was okay
Because we were young

When we were young
You always had something to teach me
And I enjoyed to listen
Half the things I know you taught me

When we were young
I never thought we would end up like this
I never thought our sidewalk would become a road
With two lanes

When we were young
I never wanted to let go of your hand
And now I can not reach you
Or feel your touch again

When we were young
Life was a straight, simple sidewalk
I want to go back to that
And see the pretty chalk

I want life back to sharing smiles
I want our fingers clung
I want life to go back to how
It was when we were young



#17_5/8/14

Is this what depression feels like?
Being so sad
Feeling so lonely
Wanting nothing more than to cry and weep
In bitter, angry roars of sorrow?

To feel complete and utter
Uselessness
Like a failure
Waiting to die
Or be taken away by the winds of sadness
To dry

Is this what depression feels like?
Being so stuck
Feeling so sick
Wanting nothing more than to pry your own heart out
And fall
Never to feel any thing again?

To want to not to want
Ever
To give the heart a rest
Form the pain
And sorrow
That it may breathe again

Is this what depression feels like?
To not want to go on
To quit
To die
With out ever being able to say
Good bye?

Is this what depression feels like?



#15_11/30/13

I hate being sweet
‘Cause on the inside I am not
It’s like using sweet caramel
To cover something spicy hot

Inside I’m like a furnace
I’ve got an attitude
I wish I could be selfish, idle
Or sometimes even rude

No matter how hard I try
I’m always just too kind
It’s like someone went before my birth
And preprogrammed my mind

If I were angry, sad or scared
You would never know
My emotions are a part of me
That I can never show

I hate being shoved
But either way I let it go
I hate to share my stuff
But I just really can’t say no

Letting people cut in front of me
Though I got there fair-n-square
I just keep quiet and pretend
I was never there

The Bible says I should love
Everyone like I love me
So I guess being nice
Is just a thing that makes me me

I guess that I’ll just **** it up
And go back to being nice
And hope that things are better for me
Later on in life


#5_7/18/2011