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Jillian McLean

Do not call me pretty,
for I am more than it looks

I would rather be ugly ,
with the beauty inside

I don't want to be those girls
in magazines and books.

Don't just use me for my body,
without a confide.

Don't call me pretty,
look inside.

something about the
way you look at me makes me
feel like i'm flying.


Before the illness descended on my brain
I never felt particularly insane

Eating disorders are not all about wanting to be thin
The pain is much deeper and emerges from within

Your self concept is shattered.

I don't think others understand
What it takes to recover, to escape quicksand.

Eating disorder thoughts are rotten and cruel
They convince you that you are a complete fool

They spit negativity into your head
You believe your thoughts, tears are shed.

Your appearance in the mirror you continue to hate
Vile thoughts continue to berate

Try living with that constant dread
Like walking around with a boulder on your head

At some points wishing you'd be better off



Congrats! You've gained weight!
Your physical health has returned, look at that heart rate.

But I gained more than I wanted to gain.
My mind is spinning, the thoughts are insane.

My mind is battling a war each day.
As I try to go to school, be a human, be okay.

The strength and will to do that is intense.
To live with your mind continually on a fence.

To have restriction sit in the back of your mind.
As you try to keep up with school and not get behind.

It is not a choice.
The voice.
Is not a choice.

But recovery is.

To try to live how I want to live.

If you come across someone battling this fight
Commend them on their courage and might.

Be their support.
Even though you may not understand.
Lend a listening ear or a helping hand.

Be the difference in their day.
Help stop their thought spiral, remind them they're okay

Anything you say
Makes a difference.
Makes a difference

Love and care will fuel their fight
To know their thoughts are not right.


I know you'll love me in a different way,
in a better way.
I'll try my hardest to love you just the same,
in a better way.

Gavin Barnard

People usually kill themselves when they're horribly depressed,
As I am.
People usually kill themselves when they're horribly lonely,
As I am.
People usually kill themselves when they feel like they're trapped,
As I am.

If you want somebody to blame,
Then blame the people that asked for $2687
When they asked me to quit my only source of income.
Ask the people that only care about making money,
Without a thought about who it hurts.

Ask me about my depression,
Ask me about my loneliness,
Ask me how my day went,
Or rather, ask my friends.

Its a paragraph from this suicide note I'm writing because I can't think of anything else to write.

Keep in mind that the intention of suicide notes is so that people can read them after the person who wrote it killed themselves, which is what makes the last stanza really powerful, especially when I have no friends.

Maybe I will do it, but only if things don't improve sometime soon.
Ben Meraki

I want to tell you
that I can do without you.
But I'd be lying.

Devan Ducasse

Dear mom,

I have never felt love like this before
Everything else has been dull and boring
So when I say that I love this man
I full heartily mean it

It feels like I’m in one of those high school rom coms
When the straight white girl meets the straight white guy
Her whole world is flipped upside down
And they grow up old

I didn’t think I would ever be able to experience this kind of love
And I don’t know if you ever have
Because if you have ever felt this passion and love
Then you wouldn’t want any minute anyway from it

My exes never really cared
When I say I loved them
It was completely true
But this one is life changing

The way I get butterflies in my stomach when I see the twinkle in his eye
And the way he looks my body up and down, feels my stomach and hips and then tells me
“You’re beautiful”
I never want to experience anything different

This man has become my body guard
When I feel his arms wrapped around me, I know that I am safe
I know that no other man should come my way or else my boyfriend will fuck you up
And he genuinely cares

When I seem even the slightest bit off
He doesn’t just wait until I feel better to try and fix the already fixed problem
He drops everything he is doing to be with me
And that’s the kind of man I want

I want a man that would leave dinner
To meet me on a park bench while I’m crying
I want a man who will get me drunk
Then hold me in the bathroom while I cry and confess everything on my chest

The way we started wasn’t ideal
Cheating on our girlfriends just to taste each other’s lips
Wasn’t a good idea
But you can’t tell me all of your relationships were 100% perfect

He understand me when no one else does
When i say some weird metaphors to my therapist
(Which he frankly can barely understands)
My boyfriend will sit and listen until he figures out the riddle I told him

I speak in code
And he starting to crack it
Even though it scares the living hell out of me
He is trying to break down my walls

Mom, I have built millions on millions of bricks to keep this wall up
You have taught me throughout my whole life
To protect the ones around me and not myself
But with him, I feel okay to break down the walls

He is shedding it layer by layer
Brick by brick
And I am letting him
Because I want to let him in

I have never wanted anyone else inside of this dungeon
But I think he’s the one who can break me free
My dungeon of depression has been home for 17 years
And I am ready to show him my house

I have never been sure about anything in my life
I have always been so indecisive
But when it comes to him
I know that I want to be his

I want to be his one and only girl
I want to come home and see him everyday
I want to tell him about my secret
I want him

So mom, when I say I am in love with this boy
I mean it
And when I say he makes me happy
It’s because I have never felt safer

I love him

emmie cosgrove

Your mind,
So beautiful
Causing the soldiers
Battling within my head,
To ceasefire
An ongoing conflict
Finally at rest.

klara mercy

now that you've left
i need to know
how many times
did you look me in the eyes
and wished they were her's
and not mine

Fox Brandon Briggs

I woke early today
I finally opened my window
Pulled apart the curtains that hung so perfectly
Better than I ever could
Take a deep breath
And let some air in
I saw the light I've been craving
Since summer left
Me suffocating
By default
You became my stepping stone
To get me closer to the sun
Just sit back and watch me grow
No longer will I wilt under your overbearing knock off glow

sara galluzzo

I Am Lost
I am handsome
I am caring
I do good in school
I have friends
I am happy  

I like a boy
He’s sweet
And pretty
He smells heavy of cologne
But I like it
He's in my fourth period history class
He’s very funny in class
I talk to him Sometimes
But I don't think he knows I like him

“Basketball is a very important sport”
“Basketball is essential in my life; if I do not play I will become sick and die”
“No I don't understand question 7”
“Yes Brandon, I believe the basketball should be part of our national flag”
He's a macho kind of guy
So I can't flirt with him all that much
Six months ago I ran into him the hall
He looked so good with his hair pushed back and his new jacket
I couldn't help but smile

The next day I told him how I felt
I didn't know he’d tell all his friends
I didn't know how fast news could travel
I didn't know they'd make fun of me
I didn't know they'd say awful things about me
I didn't know people would treat me different
I didn't know how I felt was a sin
I didn't know how my parents found out
I didn't know why my dad stopped talking to me
I didn't know who to talk to
I didn't know how badly I needed it to stop
Until one day ; it did
I am bound to societal norms
I am drowning in discrimination and unequal rights
I am forced to live my life the way others see best
I am numb to the pain that tags along with each name that is thrown my way
“Gay“ “Freak“
I lost my friends
I lost my appetite
I lost my will power
My grades dropped
And so did my mood
I became an outcast
A loner
I was sad every day
I cried every hour  
But from now on that won't be a problem
I won't be problem
I'm going to stop this the only way I know how
I never knew what it was like to be in love
I never married
I never had kids
I never graduated
I never had a judgement free zone
I never had positive thoughts
I never found help  
Last wednesday when my eyes shut for good
I only hope
I opened someone else’s

Eleanor Webster

I have a hole
Inside my chest
I try to fill it up.
With voice
With words
With love
With dodie tickets.

Nothing sticks.

Like glitter in the wound,
I bleed out.

So I woke up last Saturday just feeling...really nothingy. Like there was this cavity in the upper half of my rib cage, aching with absence. This was the day the wifi went down so I almost anticipated how crappy i was gonna feel by feeling crappy. Thank god it's passed but this is just something small I wrote. Part two out tomorrow!!

I keep having dreams of you,
and they're absolute nonsense,
you're absolute nonsense,
please let me be,
leave my dreams be
nonsense, but without you in them.

Kind of have been dreaming about a person for months now.. and I hate it. Nothing makes sense, why are you in my dreams?
helena alexis

trace poems on
my inner thigh
paint a sunset
between my breasts

write love letters
between my legs
use my body
as your blank canvas

H Phone

...I got my writer’s spirit amputated a year back

Doctor Perfectionism said it was a lost cause
Dead weight
Heavy like an anvil resting on my brain
The anvil of the hardy wordsmith I used to be

Nurse Inspiration was the one who removed it
With a scalpel
Sharp like a fox’ teeth plunged in my head
The fox that used to whisper clever plays on words to me

Mortician Motivation buried it deep underground
In a coffin
Shut like the gateway to my mind now is
The gateway that used to unroll a red carpet in front of my feet

For all intents and purposes, it should be gone
I would never write another word
But then what is this feeling?
This itch?
This urge?

Is it phantom pain?

I was on the brink of giving up writing altogether. Frustration after frustration came and went. I thought my writer's spirit was gone, but it never truly left.
Gurpreet sapra

He was her first
But that wasn’t it
He was also the beginning of hell
The beginning of something unspeakable
The beginning of her secrets
The beginning of the dark nights
The unstoppable her
This was just the beginning darling
Just the beginning
But what did she know
She never knew
No one knew

He fucked me up

Every night is the same.
"Tonight's the night!" she'll exclaim.

Then she'll hit the town
lips coated in red, eyes agleam.

The only problem is that it never ends up being 'the night'.
Or perhaps it does.
Nobody can really tell.
She's never told anyone what 'the night' is.

How long has she been saying that for?" one person asks.
"As long as I can remember," another replies.
Maybe tonight will be the night.

Whatever that means.

I wrote this as part of a 'Twelve Days of Writing Challenge' I'd set myself over the Christmas period.

I'm afraid,
Scared to death,
That when I wake up,
I am someone else.
Through all these days,
I stay wise,
Even though my mind,
Is going wild.
This is the story of my life,
I 'split' to anyone,
A stranger I never knew,
A person I never met.
My mind speaks,
Between two,
One is like me,
The other is who?

For when I lost myself in those times I was not 'me'.

John Stevens

His spirit resides in us, with us, even when we no longer know who we are.  
He carries us through the darkness, is with us until the new morning transforms us into who we really are. A child of God.

Dementia and ALZ takes its toll. We are still in His hand.

Are the ugly
For we are free
From all expectation.

I thought this up yesterday and thought it was funny

I have no idea, what will happen next in my Life.
I do not know how my Life shall play out in the end.
There is nothing guarantee in any of our Life here.
For in reality , it is you not us that decides our Future.
For we can only Pray and Trust that you shall be there.
To Lead us down the Right Path, that we are meant to take.
Trusting that in the very end, you shall lead us Home .
All that we can really do is Trust that everything here.
Shall end up okay for us, as well as our Families too.
Because only you can Lead us, and restore to us too.
All of the Things, that this here Life has cost us here too.
For only you can see what the Future here holds for us.

Adam Robinson

I'm not a perfect anything,
or even a fallen star.
But you make me heavenly darker,
by just being who you are.
Your fingers burn from my tears,
and sighs.
I can't exist in your heart anymore,
while we just sit there and cry.
It just leaves us both so aching,
and sore.
Spinning down into each other's eyes,
God I wished you loved me.
It's unhealthy.
It can't be.
Even if it was,
I'd be shattered by half past three.
You kiss her,
you can't kiss me.
Better be a broken heart,
than a cruel flutter.

Let the Melody Shine

Lost in the city
United by poetry

Online friends
Things which trends

Few find their soulmate
Others find a friend great

Here found one with like mind
Maybe past lives were entwined

Great to have a tea with her
Heartfelt talks heartful together

A grand date with a poetic soul
Who is assigned the divine role

We will catch up again surely
Another meet to be planned shortly!

Met Sarita Aditya Verma today....thnx hp for letting us find each other......
Merlina M

you hid sadness
but tears you knew
like your sisters

you thought happiness
was something unnatural
You hated him.

you hid smile
but fears controlled you
that's how you met him

but his smile scared you
you wanted to steal it
You hated him!

i'm pathetic

For both East and West
I-Am is the universal experience..
I-Am is the white screen
around these words..and
that out of which the words
are made..
I-Am is the space imagined
around each thought and
perception on this Saturday
I-Am is the perennial space
around all science..all religion..
Yet I-Am is overlooked and
hides entangled in our
objective attention..
So..we need extract and then
return I-Am to these words
and to those multiplicities
of our rapt attention
on this Saturday morning...

Lily Mae

A year ago today my faith was tested
I gazed upon the face of my sister and yet
cancer distorted the woman I knew

Morphine drops

I go home to shower and my Nephew comes in
"She's gone, we all left the room and she left".
Mourning shoes are put on

Xanax daze

The usual chaos, drama, screaming
yelling and people pissing on space  
once shared by us all ...wanting to covet her  
to our breasts

Hells fire

Closing up my emotional shop  
I move forward this whole year with
a knowing that she for once is flying
high with all our friends and family...

Peace needed

Today I couldn't function well
the tears with memories of her letting go
and me forced to let go overwhelmed me


I've never felt so alone sister.  I never  
thought I'd have to live without you
here I am...alone, in body, mind  and spirit

I feel forgotten, you knew me, and still loved me
I feel betrayed, and yet know better
I hate to feel because the hole in my heart
that's been empty since you left me aches

I'm trying sister...I'm trying~


I am help captive in the arms of my captor

Only looking at the future it gave, no other

Walking up the path filled with grave-given, fallen flowers

I rise above the clouds having hope as my only power

This is she to me, España y Filipinas

This was my own attempt in interpreting the message of a painting made by one of my countries best painters, Juan Luna. It was actually in the test given for arts class where they asked us to write a one-verse poem about how we interpret Espana y Pilipinas and this was my answer to that portion of the test. I must say, a lot of culture and symbolism in one painting. I realize how great the other art forms are besides poetry.
Lana Eve

I must confess

I had sex with my ex, yesterday

It isn't exactly what I intended on

Their warm body fit mine like a broken in baseball glove
I don't expect much to come of it
I'm learning to not expect much of

We enjoyed each other's energy

As I ran my fingers through their hair

Like I did before

So frequently

                                 But this time it was different

This time, I didn't care of tomorrow
Wondering if I could do this again
Wondering if I could keep them forever

                Instead, I recognized the beauty in a moment

I was grateful for their being

I was grateful for their fruit
To let my tongue dance

With the idea that forever is the ugly sister
Misused, abused, and forgotten

    Due to the only constant that her sister Change, will always win

Ashley Lingy

My body burns
My eyes roll to the back of my head
My arms twitch
My legs quake
My head snaps back
My breath is sharp and quivering
My moaning swells
You have ruined me
Despite the absence of your touch
You do this to me

A Yorks

Morning comes and the sun is shining down,
In through my windowpanes;
Bottlescaps scattered on the bedroom floor;

Rolling out of bed, thinking to myself,
When will this cycle end?
Reach for a bottle as I make my way to the door.

I just want to feel okay for a change,
Is that so wrong of me?
So I take another drink
And fill my body with demons I can't see

Evening comes and the sun is going down;
I'm stumbling through my door;
Got a bottle lined up for the night;

Hit the bottom and I'm still not satisfied —
I guess a second's fine;
Six or seven and I'll start to feel alright.

I just want to feel okay for a change,
Is that so wrong of me?
So I take another drink
And fill my body with demons I can't see

You can listen to Demons and other songs by A. Yorks at https://luftjaeger.bandcamp.com/

I sit here in the dark,
     the emptiness that
     envelopes me.
                         There is but one question,
                                  one meaning and purpose,
                                  one that I can't fathom.
          Through me life, this simple,
                   inadequate life
                   there are things I've done.
                                                 I've hurt people, torment,
                                                           through my explosion of
                                                            expr­ession, Anger... Silence
               I know I've hurt you,
                         as painful as that is
                         to reflect.
  Yet, through it all,
          you're still here,
          withstand, ever present.
      No matter what explosion,
               what outburst I apply,
                here you are... Why.
                                                            ­        You say it's out of love,
                                                           ­                    you say that no matter,
                                                         ­                      no matter what... Love
                                          I've pushed, I've prodded,
                                                     pushing buttons, breaking barriers,
                                                     when I shouldn't...
                                               I don't mean to hurt you,
                                                      I never do, I never did,
                                                      But still you comfort... calm.
                        No matter the pain,
                                 the pain that I've caused,
                                 here you are, caring, loving.
                                                         ­     I know that you could do better,
                                                         ­         better than what I offer
                                                           ­       a seemingly endless barrage..
   Why? Why do you stay,
               stay in the place of endless,
               endless pain... Why?
                                               Is this the love everyone speaks of,
                                                       if so, why am I,
                                                       why am I so ashamed, undeserving.
                          I try to push you away,
                                  because I know I...
                                  I hurt you, yet you stay.
                                      I love you, but I don't,
                                             I don't want you to hurt,
                                             not anymore, let me leave... Please
But no, you won't let me,
         you continue to love,
         a love that is so... undeserving.
   You've done so much,
               so much love, but why...
               why do you put yourself... in pain?
                                                 I don't think that I can,
                                                            ­I don't think that I can
                                                            e­ver make you happy, ever again
                                      Yet you smile, a smile so
                                                    full of love, patience
                                                    an understanding that I can't accept.
         I ponder and I question,
                   no matter how I drag it out...
                   Why are you still here?... with me...

with my pen -- my intent
written on parchment-
The man I needed-desired-
my power was at it's peak
I had to do this now
each one was specific-
learned from the past
what I needed-what I didn't
what would feed my soul
what would feed my desire
the man who would know
what to say - what to do
where to touch-how to calm-
he would be everything-
no other before could be-
the one who could bring me
to my knees-
while lifting me up-
the one who could quench
my thirst-my hunger for
something I could not
put into words
only he would understand-
The candle burned bright
as I finished writing the
last line-
He will love me beyond measure
body-soul and mind-
I folded the parchment
placed it into a tiny little box
hidden from sight-forgotten for years
You came into my life so familiar-
the words you spoke
the way you touched
my body-soul-and mind-
so perfectly you-so perfect for me-
can this be true-can it be real
when I wrote the words
by candles light-
I conjured my man-my soul's mate-
the man in the box-
you turned out to be
more than I imagined-
all that I desired was also your desire-
sets my mind to wonder-
who conjured who

Cyrus Gold

Puddles of exhausted days cleanse the Earth,
absent the promise of advent pain or joy;
greatness, humming its tune in a muted voice of desired power,
masquerades as a lone lily eagerly awaiting growth.

Once a maiden, borne of love and wanderlust, though
pierced by an agonizing reality synthesized from doubt,
now royalty, paving her path to ascension on slanted land
keen on ensnaring her under its shared deprivation,

yet she beckons! Her demons unfathomably whisk away;
nightmares suffocate within her potent cocoon,
and her bright soul illuminates the dawn that breaks.
Alexander shamelessly bathes in its everlasting warmth,

for dawn is absolute, thereby equal to her word.
Consume it.

Dedicated to a close friend.

The echoes and thrill of the wind
Comes beside me to remind the sins
I was a fool burnt in agony , lost at a height
and there’s no escaping it
These millions of ambassadors of the sunlight hit me on the face , take away my sight
The myriad small creature we are , consumed by continuos decay ,
And there’s no escaping it.
A lot of chaos , the end of the mayhem , one day will come, upon this land ,
All will be wasted and there will be sand... Oh sweet sad Satan , please let us suffer here in this tool shed...

Dr Peter Lim

do I have
to write or say?

my heart
I must search
myself I'd demean
if from duty
and responsibility
I walk away

for too easily
ego takes the day's
and I in my folly
fall a ready prey

the day
ah, the grandeur
and splendour!
the self-becoming
the beauty-unfolding
what role should
I play
on the shore
of humanity
or to my shame
my puerile self
and callousness display?

I and the world
others and I
faces I encounter
as each person
I walk by
a mask
I should not wear
my heart
I should unlock
to breathe and take in
life as it manifests
even in its most minuscule
and humble is-ness

I shouldn't walk away
either in nonchalance
or derision but feel
the common pulse
of which I'm part
thereof or become less
of what I should be
for all life is verily
one heart beating
in the corporate symphony
whose every note
speaks of both
you and me
of our joys, our sorrows
our fears, our tears
our nobility
our common humanity--

and I can't but think
of Beethoven's immortal Choral Symphony
An Die Freude set to Schiller's poetry
and to myself I say
make this a day
of joy and thanksgiving
my very day
I might not again
pass this way.

* 9.50 a.m. Melbourne time,  20th January 2018
Maddie Hemeyer

I hate the fact
That I found myself
In spending a weekend
intertwined with you
You wrapped your arms
Around my waist
You left kisses
In my hair
You made me feel
Like I was beautiful
But it was just 3 days
And now we don’t speak
“What happens here stays here”
I guess that’s what it means

Angela Rose

People always talk about being a perfect match
But nobody ever talks about how abruptly matches burn out


We are all a little bit crazy
I am only truly mad when I am alone


the man
is seen at dawn
silhouetted against
a rising sun on a dock
weathered gray

the man
will toss his own
trawl in the hours
before he opens
the store his grandfather
built by the shore
for mending nets
and selling bait

the old man remembers
being taught
how to weave
seine nets
from spruce root fibers
or wild grass

he recalls being along
on trips
seeking the perfect
rocks for weights.
the nets today
are made
from nylon, not organic
but it's not fabric
he can't work on,

his fingers genetically
to efficiently feel
torn threads,
to mend with detail
new seams the fixes
a net needs

some people
in town believe
the net-mending man's
soul died when
his granddaughter
did, abducted and killed
by her mother's

the old man
rendered unable
to fathom how
the little girl slipped
through the strongest ties
that bind, a family's
love and care

a fourth-generation
net-mending vendor
in his sunset years
soothes his heart
by divining
he will see her
soon, as his trawl fills
and lines in silver
and blue.


every hero fears
that some rapt admirer will
learn the awful truth

Cameron Muison

Every night, lying awake, staring at the ceiling.

Pretending that things will get better.

Pretending that it will pass.

Empty even now. When I should be happy.

When the problem has been resolved, and the feeling still remains, more problems are revealed.

What can I do to change it.

I know sitting here will do me no good.

Does writing these even help?

Has my escape been corrupted?

Does anyone even care?

Sounding pathetic, as usual.

The only thing you're good at is feeling sorry for yourself.
Why don't you just do us all a favour and ...

Surely there was more to you than that. Has the soul left you?

Has the essence of what made you gone to a far away land.

Does it call to you?

Do you want to join it?

Who are you? Really. Look at yourself. Make up your mind. Living in a constant cycle of disappointment, unfulfillment, and misery is no way to live.

Just stop talking

Just stop trying to make others relate

Just stop typing

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