Sometimes i just get really sad,
I just did.
It started burst me into crying,
I felt really hurt inside my chest,
And at that time i realized,
I am not alone,
I am lonely,
Even though i surrounded
by bunch of people,
My heart just felt so empty,
Like i just lost something or someone
I don't know,
I don't know what it is nor who it is.
People always tell you to "face your fears"
And everyday that our hands collide,
You hug me close to your chest so tight I can smell nothing but your expensive cologne I got you for Christmas,
Trusting you with my laughs,
It's the biggest thing I'm scared of because loving you is my greatest fear. How do you know you are driving off the cliff on a foggy morning? You fall.
And now I feel like I'm falling so abruptly, and I won't be able to get up.
Cause when you finally break my heart I won't even have enough heart to tell myself " i T o l d Y o U S O "
Now, just now I know that I'm lonely because you're away from me
You, about you, about me is about you and I'll repeat the same verses over and over and over again until you're back to me
'Love' is the word I really need so all of these affections need a place where to go
'Love' is the word I really need so please will you come back and kiss on my cheek.
Please, stay by my side.
I never knew my father
All I have are photos
the name I was told that belonged to him
and nothing more, nothing less.
I yearned to know him, but I couldn't
Life didn't provide me with the opportunity
to do so and yet, even as I grow old,
I know that it was a bridge that I needed to burn
One which I know I can't go back from.
And yet, in a way, I know him
I see him in myself and
as I let go of what was
and could have been
I slowly remember him
the efforts he gave
his gentle touch
that he tried to care
that he tried to love
but still, it wasn't enough
All I have now are these new
from where they come from
I don't know
and I don't know
if they're real or not
I hold onto these memories
because that's all I have
I met a man yesterday.
He said something about eagles in Thailand.
and how your first love has a 90% chance of betraying you.
"tell me something I don't know"
"tell me something I don't know"
"what happened to your eyes?"
"what happened to my eyes?"
"they don't have depth"
"tell me something I don't know"
he told me again that there's a 90% chance your first love will betray you.
I looked at this bright-eyed man and thought he doesn't know anything about me.
And I was struck by the colors of his eyes.
four or maybe six different shades of amber.
It's the color of autumn in New England,
It's the color of fire that's not too hot nor too bland.
It's the color of sunset in the Grand Canyon.
It's the color of the words, "Welcome home."
"There's a 90% chance that your first love will betray you."
My eyes are burning.
"But there's a 100% chance that it will get better."
My hands are shaking.
"All you have to do is let him go."
"Put an end to everything that hurts."
It’s a funny thing
Watching life fly
Mobile phones ring
Stress levels are high
Luxuries are bought
Empty parts played
Vacuous lessons taught.
Rewind back a few
Survival was key
Every day was new
We could truly see.
Why do we concede?
To a superficial norm.
Blinded by greed.
Taking a hideous form!
THE WORLD is an office asking for your sweat. Before lunch. Officeboy turns off the aircon. Stuck in line in front of the teller. Number is empty, on bank account.
This world is a city asking for your blood. An old friend who grew into someone who was getting less and less understandable. A monster that feeds on its own body parts.
as the flower bloomed
brighter days were promised
in love letters and hopeful kisses
everything fell in to place
we made and experienced
something so beautiful
as it grew — matured
we thought of futures
our jaded happy minds
longed to embrace
but as the flower wilted
we turn back to the time it bloomed
forgetting to take out the weed
neglecting its need of water
asking what ifs
we failed to realise
that its destroy
did not start when it bloomed
it started when we first planted it
and then we realised
it was planted on toxic soil
we began to realise,
it was never beautiful in the first place
How does everytime
I feel fright
Always circling in my mind
That my heart is at stake
I couldn't repent
My invested feelings for years
Built up fears
Not reaching you
Crushes me within
Are we the same?
Do you also feel that?
In my life you came
So you made me pain
when i hear the word home
i dont think of a brick house
or the furniture that lie inside
i think of my sisters and my mom
i think of my cat waiting behind the door
i think of poem book in my purse
i think of my best friend
i think of my young renegade jacket
i think of my collection of concert tickets
when i think of home
i think of the people and things that make me happiest
i think of the things that connect to my favorite memories
i connect home to comfort and happiness
i dont connect it with brick walls and broken furniture
it may bring safety but it doesnt bring me joy
and home to me means joy
So I keep falling
Into the similar patterns
Leading myself to sombre nights
I follow those mirages
On the highway to hell
Where all but love
I am just weaving myself
Every paradigm of your being
Into sand castles of fantasy
Losing count of
Right from wrong
And reality from make-believe.
When you're born out of a broken marriage,
You unwittingly become part of it,
No one asked you if you wanted to,
Yet you mediate,
As you grow, you participate,
You cease to be a child very soon,
You are the third spouse who entered
Way after the honeymoon,
You live with the everyday-fear of this
Arrangement falling apart,
You don't know why you're saving it,
Despite it being toxic to all three minds and hearts,
But, as if you were born for just that purpose,
You strive for it everyday,
You take sides everyday,
Being a successful last straw
Is your daily pretend-play,
And suppressed resentment, your best friend,
Those born out of a broken marriage will know,
Having a loving father and a loving mother
Is not the same as having a family where
Everyone loves each other.
the trees perform
in the soft denim light
& my handwriting
could stand to
but I am drunk on
& lack of fortune
I feel you in
for once I confirm
I am not alone
although I goddamn
will it blend?
the only two stars
helped me to
I'll do something stupid, like fall in love with you and stuff
Until one day you realize that it wont be enough
I wont be enough for you.
And I will cry and tear apart my room.
And the dark days will begin to loom.
And I will begin to lose myself in this mentality to.
It's a lot lonelier at night.
It's a nightmare ready to unfold and I'm gripping my bed sheets hoping I don't wake up in yet another cold sweat.
The void in my chest seems to grow as I look for something that makes sense.
The words used to hold me as I wept and now,
They stand at arms length and allow me to hold myself.
They watch as the tears fall across my cheeks and they question how much sadness can a person hold.
How much sadness until all you feel is nothing, but hollowness.
Hollowness that resembles a field of grass burned to ash.
I want to kiss the nape of your neck
Follow the treasure trail to the Cape of regret
Be lost in your hair without any cares
Their tendrils of longing caress
Carried along by the rhythm of eternal tides
Floating in that ocean of dreams
My siren sings to me
Bringing visions of you in time and space
The smile on your face
The way you taste
The smell of your breath
Your essences washes away my fears
Scudding along on a surfboard of cares
I can do without.
you don't know what my handwriting looks like
i don't know what your yawn sounds like
you don't know my reaction to the end of my favourite film
i don't know your reaction to eating your favourite meal
i don't know what your hand feels like
and you don't know what mine feels like
we may not know everything
but we are still in love
Do you realize what you do? Whenever you delete one of us?
You use minutes of your life to write us up, Isn't that such a bust?
We wait around patiently in your drafts, possibly abandoned or alone
Hoping for that day where we will be finished and complete, your profile would be our home!
But there was something about us that you didn't like
Instead of revising and editing, you clicked "DELETE". You gave up the fight!
Change us! Revive us! Turn us into something that will please you!
Afraid of what people may think of us? Then allow us to seal their lips like glue!
We will be whatever you want us to be, but PLEASE give us a chance!
Are you a coward? Are you too lazy? You have everything you need in advance!
Don't let us go so quickly! Please don't put us to shame!
Or do you only see us as empty words with no meaning on a blank white page....
You're blind when you see me,
I'm on my knees and broken.
I remind you who I really am,
Remember these words I've spoken.
Unshakable you see me,
You see me standing tall.
Like a statue made of stone,
You see a rock who'll never fall.
Unbreakable you see me,
You see me effortlessly bold.
Like the stars will always shine,
You see power you think I hold.
Unstoppable you see me,
You see me fighting without fear.
Like relentless worriers conquer,
You see a hero who never sheds a tear.
I make my strength shine bright,
Shine to cover up my weakness.
You can't see past my Confidence,
You refuse to see me my meekness
Even stone can't stand forever,
The world will beat it down.
I remind you I'm only human,
The world can make me drown.
Even stars can't shine so bright,
So bright to shine through the clouds.
I remind you I'm just another face,
Another face in amongst the crowds.
Even heroes can't withstand all,
Hold the weight of the world alone.
I remind you I can't hold on forever,
Excessive trials will break my backbone.
I refuse to let you believe,
Believe who you see is perfect.
A pedestal I don't deserve,
And don't EVER say I'm worth it.
I can see
but worth it
The nights are cold
The roads are rough
But tremble not
You know you're tough
The fact you've put in effort is enough
It's ok to sit back, enjoy, and laugh
The nights are long
The journey gets tough
You brace yourself
Enough, you think, is enough
You put your foot down
And stomp real hard
You've come this far
They'll just have to let you pass
SHE WAS BLIND
— ED by the virility in his skin,
lit and scorched by Midas himself
on his nobility,
plumes of swindled words,
even though what she saw was
pure sweetness of a plum
carved and full, heavy
all light and divinity
glorious soul from the Heaven's
tied to hers
though at the end of the day
what she came to understand was
— THEY WERE RIGHT
BECAUSE YOU LIED
STUBBORN RESISTANT ME ALL ROSE-TINTED AND POLISHED
MY BONES MOANED AND SHOOK
TO REACH OUT
TO SEARCH FOR —
It astonishes me how I once let you touch my skin.
Kellyanne Conjob rushed to defend
Trump's penchant for telling lies.
The repercussions of his untruths
She smilingly tried to minimize.
Her brazenly obnoxious comments
Simply add fuel to the fire
And diminish her credibility
When she bolsters the words of a liar.
Is clearly what she's doing, and yet her
Remarks make him sound foolish when
She says he doesn't know any better.
According to Kellyanne's logic here--
And give her a D minus for trying--
Trump is not telling untruths
If he doesn't believe he is lying.
- by Bob B (7-26-17)
I want to cry
My eyes are holding back the tears
As I read all the emotions
As I see all this hurt
I know so many people who hurt
And who ache
And this kills me
This world is so broken
And no one is untouchable
It kills me
Watching as innocent people
By other people
Who themselves used to be innocent
Until the day wen they were used
And its an endless cycle
Of hurt people
Turning around and hurting more
This endless cycle of pain
So many people screaming that they just want to be loved
And every piece of me
Is dying to scream at them
How much I love them all
But I've done that to some
And im afraid iv only caused more pain
So I'm stuck unable to help
Only able to pray
But the brokenness
Is eating away
And each day
They get more broken
And closer to ending it all
And I know that pain
All too well
That's why I want to help
Because I wouldn't wish my misery on anyone
And I want so desperately to protect them all
But I'm so weak
And there's really nothing I can do
So I sit back and watch this pain and watch this misery
And all I can do is cry out to God to hear these people
And to see the pain
And I feel so helpless
But I know that alone
Is better than anything else I could do
We are all living on borrowed time
and without realizing the debt we owe
we consider our lives are just fine
and gamble with what we do not own.
Whether wealthy and rich or in penury poor,
wise and educated or illiterate and uneducated,
refined and cultured or crude as a boor,
in battles victorious or in life frustrated,
perpetually happy or always sad,
with outlook positive or thoughts so negative,
whether sincere and loyal or just a cad,
whether artistic and talented or not so creative,
ultimately we are all wasting our life.
Though we chase pursuits which are mere mirages
and feel happy to be blessed with life
yet, we are all God’s reflected images.
Reflected images living on borrowed light
pompous in our lack of understanding.
On borrowed time we continue to shine bright
until the Sun goes down in the evening
and like a candle snuffed out in the wind
our overdrawn borrowed time doth end...
For so long, for a community,
That values the ineffable wonder
Of a wordsmith's creations, intended to
Repair himself and the world with bullets of
And here you are.
Like/Dislike, matters not,
So long as we value each others work,
And the the heart echoes within
What the eyes read and the mouth whispers.
The array and disparity of your names,
Each name a poem
In its own right.
So I resubmit a question for your consideration,
The answer is now known,
The answer is all of us.
Who's Who In Poetry
T'is a curious thing,
these verbal peddlers, tribal members,
famously well known to no one,
perhaps at best,
a kindred few, fellow-travelers.
Each a troop,
bloodied, purple hearted,
anonymous unto each other,
yet all bonded intimates,
in solitary struggle united,
yet sea-parted by the very nature
of the solitude of composition.
All poets are Cain scar-marked,
purposed for everyone to see,
a warning to rabbled boors,
cherish these flawed ones,
gentle these frail but gritty,
the Lord has tasked them
to be prophets in one tongue untied,
undo the strife of Babel's division.
Be the harpooners
of the unexamined life,
with unfettered rhapsody,
comfort caress us,
exhort the loopy
to light their illusionary candles,
turn the sad eyed lowlanders
into crinkly eye-lined smilers.
With clinical observation,
dense and demanding,
make us laugh at
the comedy of our situation,
teach us our free-to-see peep show,
reveal, unseal us
with tart empathy!
For who's who in poetry
is all of us!
saviors and failures,
recorders and decoders,
night writers of the oohs and aahs
of dreams and nightmares.
When this poet cannot,
no longer, anymore,
tastes his poems upon your lips,
keep your poems within his heart,
then he breathes no more,
and becomes one who was,
because of you,
Even more true today, than four years ago.
You can't hide truth in the eyes,
they are too clear, too open,
like glass-paned windows.
When you were turned towards me that night,
(moments before you walked away), reassuring me that
nothing had changed, that you weren't going anywhere.
I almost believed you.
Even when I had felt the difference in your speech,
words hand-picked and spoken with the intent to convince--
an unfamiliar tongue you had never used with me before.
Still, I almost believed you.
Right until I look up into your eyes and noticed--
distinctly perceived--the difference in the tides of your iris,
the pattern disturbed by the truth that had penetrated it.
Your eyes suddenly became foreign to me.
Unrecognizable; and yet I could now see into them clearly;
and I could see through them, as through a window;
they closed to conceal, long-lashed shades drawn.
But in vain--the glass had already been shattered.
I'm a girl
who climbed mountains
and when i reached the top
no one praised me
no one knew
the pain of the sting
on my heart
I'm a girl
who has loved and who has lost
who has given and not received
who wanted and never got
who blew her shot
at her dreams
because of the things she had to survive.
sometimes it's too bitter
I'm a girl who loves the moon.
I'm a girl who grew up too soon.
I'm a girl who was used for lust.
And a girl who now has no trust.
I'm a mess
a butterfly who flies back
to her cocoon
because she feels like a worm inside
small and scared
and just doesnt want to again be tried
her body is hers and hers alone
this she repeats
as she relives it again
Naked and alone
I keep myself here
Where he placed me
So long ago
I'm keeping myself here
Because it feels like it's the
only thing I've ever known
The one thing he silently
taught me through his actions
I can't seem to undo
all that he did
He trapped me
What will it take for
me to feel free
What will it take for
me to just give in
Why did he have
to hurt me
Thirteen roses in a row
Red rain falls,
Don't you know
Down the window
Pain it goes
In the gutters
Through the nose
Where's the thunder
When it flows...?
The gauze that's stained
What difference snow?
The same as pain
When it melts
It's just rain.
It's a howling in the eaves
It's the cult the
No one cares.
No one grieves.
Long jeans & sleeves.
Razors are a water slide
On track like
A carny ride
Over arms & over thighs
The pain inside
It's an ocean
Where we sail
A coin that can be
Heads or tails
A lover's letter,
Or junk mail
A piece of garbage.
I'm writing to let you know
That I don't have anything else to give
You took away all my hope
What more do you want of me
The few breaths that I take?
They're not even for me I swear
I just don't want them to break
The ones who still care about me
Somehow you weren't able to push them away
I guess they're stronger than I'll ever be
But I don't want you to make them ache
Hurt me bruise me take my soul
But let my body here
For them , not me , I'm miserable at my best
But I can't let them live in fear
We can live together
Just don't make me die
I wish to age like a wrap-around porch
In a thunder storm,
While generations tell tales,
A porch of blinking stars,
A place to run out of rain,
With wooden steps for deliveries,
With ascending and descending friends.
I will age like a tree,
Grow stronger in the wind;
Give shade and shelter to all
Beneath my ring-aged limbs.
I wish to age as a river bends,
Contiguous with all shores;
Floating everyone I know
On eternal waters defying death,
A current winding with no rest.
I will age like a star,
Burning bright, giving light,
Something to reach for.
I wish to age like a mountain,
With secret caves and riches.
And you can rock your soul
Around, over or through,
Solid, snow-capped summit,
I will age as the moon,
In stages, full and new;
Each night different,
As all who age will do.
you know the look
when you feel eyes on the side of your face
but you're not completely sure
so you turn
instantly catching them
ice blue eyes
and then quickly they're gone
looking somewhere else
like the floor or
out the window or
pretending to be deep in thought
you know that they've been looking
because you've caught them twice before
green was never my color
yet you dipped your brush in the bright paint
and streaked it down my cheeks
you took me in your hands
and changed my shaped
painting over my too-round cheeks
and my splotchy skin
when i tried to wipe it off
my face came off with the green paint
leaving me an empty nothing
with bright green painted hands
i finally represent how i feel inside
but you don't like it when i dip my fingers
in a colorful paint
and drag it along my cheek
even though pink was my color all along