'mongst teddy bear shaped clouds,
and with friend whose eyes are as amber as honey sickles,
the sky melts sugar milk,
and whispers bubbles of candy cotton!
for the twilight knew much of the Wonderer.

with hopping rabbit bunnies,
and boxes with a fellow named jack inside,
the puppy-eyed child learned of many names,
and knew of many creatures--
O! have you heard of the bunna-easant?
the child would love of you to learn lots about it!

it seemed the Lord had blessed this young,
with naive heart and brave mind,
for you'd have to drink gallons of melted butter,
to be as sweet as he.

old nightmares beg for sips of the Wonderer's dove wings,
for the child knew of no such thing.
'what are mares of the night?' those eyes glistened toward the faeries,
with 3 sharp "ha"'s, they lean in and whisper,
'stay in your cradle, my young,' they'd wave their lolly finger,
'for there're no such things as those.'

for the white candy cotton was a favorite of the child,
same hue as the glowing deity he worshiped,
and brought the bouncing child through the embers of the day,
to hush the child to midnight play.

for time was awfully kind to this young,
as it pushes the child's golden swing,
following the young's silver eyes,
as they twitch with hunger,
at the appearance of the new critters it drew.

as cherry mermaids flicked the child through hearts of jelly,
and the fish from Stockholm 'plashed through chocolate lanes,
the Wonderer's taffy hair grew lengths,
and body took its outfit and changed!

the child basked--astonished!--and jumped from the tails,
leaving the mermaids and fish staring at one another,
with questionable marks and exclamatory minds,
'did we just lose our Wonderer?'

in shock, the deity's hair ruled short,
and no longer kissed the face of the 'Wonderer',
and bags filled blue light 'neath its eyes,
and rust reigned miles over the kingdom of orbs.

and the canvas had a streak of black,
'long its body,
and dried it lay,
unfinished of what was started.

for when the 'Wonderer' did decide to crawl 'neath silken shield,
and the deity's hair grew,
toss and turn, and turn and toss, the child did,
and the hair frizzled at tinted noon.

for in the Wonderer's brain,
an old horse awaits him,
with mane as black as goo,
and eyes as fierce as sandstorm,
the old horse awaits him,
and takes gallons from his wings.

and the teddy bear clouds turned to cotton,
and the fish melted by the amber,
and mermaids collapsed to bone,
and the golden gate said 'keep out, don't enter.'

for the bunna-easants had long since migrated,
and the sky turned a scared octopus,
for the candy bubbles had quieted,
and the child hung its youth.

but the Wonderer had long forgotten of his favorite candy,
and knew wonders of the mares of the night,
at cubic, he sits as blue light spills from bronzed eyes,
with the caffeine shots he jolts...


and the mares kiss him good-night.

"Wonderer, worshipper, lover of leaving -
It does not matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come,
Even if you have broken your vow a thousand times.
Come, yet again, come."
-Rumi

Lover of Leaving.
I wonder where that comes from.
Abandoning ideas,
or the idea of abandoning people.

I shalt be one's ravaging Viking
Exploring her wonder's,
Wherein man hast not yet seen...

Here the girl goes.

Plucked a bunch of hobbies,
From the dream lobbies.
Stemmed, rooted in her soul,
She garnered hard, to let the diamond shine out of coal.
Looking all around; fields of roses, she is a wild daisy.
Trying hard to find a way, but its all hazy.
All she wants to create a masterpiece,
Her hobbies, passion divided her hardwork in pieces.
Her mind fragments trying hard to lookafter every art she knows,
But under human capacity, it is difficult to be consistent in every art she knows.
She knows it all, yet she is lost,
She is the ballet dream dancer and too a host.
Enjoying a ride with dreams,
Stars aligning in a row and scattering gleams.
A wonderer, over thinker she is,
Thats the worst part yet the best it is.
Chasing soft breeze and a sudden switch she wants to travel in the speed of light,
Star gazer she is, admirer of dark night.
Light is her home, dark is she allures,
When dark lives within her, light she creates,
Beauty may be she isn't, she thinks of,
But a beast out of art colours she creates.
©heeranshimishra

I am a dreamer and a wonderer
I wonder about the future, always coming but never reaching
I hear nothing as I sit silently waiting
The future growing nearer and nearer
I see my dreams in my hands, but always escaping
I want to know what I am to be, and to do
For I am a dreamer and a wonderer

I pretend to know, to feel, to see it
I feel lost, don’t know who I am, like a nameless ship
I  touch the world, people, myself yet
I worry, will I be remembered, be loved
I cry for the future, wondering what’s to come
For I am a dreamer and a wonderer

I try to rush, to grow up faster than time permits
I understand the wait,
Time is masterless
I say only time will tell, still
I dream of the future grasping for it
for I am a dreamer and a wonderer

I write not as a Teacher or Prophet
I write as a Scholar, Monk or Wonderer;

Not as one who has attained,
but as one who is attaining;

Perhaps fellow Wonderers
make the best Teachers.

The world, I have always wondered.
Wanting, wishing and waiting to see
The things that lie right under.

Through countries, cities and people I'd meet
my drive at last was conquered.  
I hope my dreams come back to me.

That the world regains its wonder.

Spring has come once again.
The dawn breaks, caressing the Earth.
The aged wonderer marks his course,
Setting out for another journey.
Walking for many days and scores of miles,
The wonderer finds a shady tree calling his name.

Sliding his haversack off his shoulder
He rests his tired back against the tree.
As his eyes begin to close,
His mind begins to roam a world of dreams
Concealed to him before now.

Many days of peaceful slumber pass.
The wonderer at last awakens
Ameliorated for the first time,
Since he was merely a young lad.
Despite his urge to stay,
He knows he must depart,
For the uncharted road awaits him.

Just before leaving,
The wanderer bows to the tree
Thanking it for everything it has given him,
Hoping, maybe someday his journeys
Will lead him back to the Celestial tree.

Is this what passion feels like -
Lingering in the nook,
Created between damp lips met in soft quiverings?

Idling saucily in the bowl that,
Balances in my shoulder -
Dripping down my chest, to my breast
And resting...

Does passion taste sweet,
With a hint of anger,
That sounds like,
If one's lips won't suffice,
The teeth will?

Teasing with fury,
As if tempting the jury,
Peeking down at one,
From above.

---

Or, is passion the heat,
That arises between,
Two lovers, merely,
Sharing a kiss?

I wonder.
I wonder strange things.
I wonder things
That most people
Don’t bother wondering.

I wonder what.
What the lady on the corner,
Who I pass on the street,
Is thinking.
Is she dreaming?
Is she pondering?
Is she wondering, too?

I wonder how.
How did that child,
Who I see at the shop,
Get scrapes on her knee?
Did she fall?
Off a bike?
Out of a tree?

I wonder when.
When did the jet-lagged family,
Who I notice in the airport,
Get here?
Was it a long flight?

I wonder why.
Why do I wonder these things?
I know why.
Because I am wonderer.
Why?
I’ll let you wonder.

Drawing things I cannot see,
Listening,
Keenly,
Too the strange things,
Coming from,
the albino dressed pavement smoothed,
Bedroom walls,
Braille textures,
slipping like termites,
or a strange smell,
dancing from the dusty old lady haired vent,
on the ceiling,
Braille raindrops,
escaping from your,
soul window sill,
fog,
gets in the room,
and we light cigarettes,
purple scented totem poled candles,
with out near future,
melting,
and dripping on the wooden counter-top,
which we dip our fingers into,
sticky like petroleum,
sticky like the sap from a forest broken snapped,
tree limb,
which we tasted,
which we ran danced hollered and orgasmed,
like the melting candle,
like the sapped,
broken kansas public tree limb,
and i,
took off your,
orange dress that you stole,
though only a few dollars,
i called bonnie,
you called me paradise,
though we danced gleefully,
in the slums snout snarling broken home windows,
***-holes,untied shoes,untied fathers,lovers planning paradise,
inside the blue 80's oldsmobile,
with the stereo turned low,
low like the quiet hummingbird song,
of making love,
in the cold night,
under trees,
that was old,
and had probably seen many lovers,
come and go,
as its Fall leaves grew wings,
as its,
winters balding scalp,
scattered away,
like a field of dandelions,
or the birds,
that flew from nests,
only to fly south,
or like wise boxcar boxcar dharma bums,
sat on telephone wires,
at the intersection,
where two lovers planned paradise,
in the back-seat,
of a blue Oldsmobile,
and the night,
holy night,
and i,
**** mind wonderer without wings,
or sad singer leather boots harmonica whiskey drinker,
and Her,
white as stars,
dancing in a blind choreographed orchestra,
in the sky,
far,
far,
far,
even the highway,
has no exits,
to see this performance,

So i sit on a rock,
smoking a cigarette,
with a Fools smile,
as I,
watch beauty,
from the Key-hole,
that is,
Solitude.

I have been wondering, I guess ages by now.
Searching, seeking that Promised Land.
I looked as far beyond the horizon.
Where it might be, I asked?

I have been searching, I guess ages by now.
But where am I to go?
I’m still wondering ten forth, ages by now.
I think I am lost, it seems.

I am seeking, I guess ages by now.
But still haven't found.
Oh forgive me my lady.
I should have stayed, I grieved.

I am thinking just by now.
Oh what a foolish man I am.
I just wasted that precious prime.
Searching, seeking something never meant to be found.

I am the road-paver,
I am the stone-setter,
the aimless wonderer.

Not a second glance
as I lay the manse,
but not a chance

that I receive praise
for this golden runway
on which you will parade.

But, how lovely is she
dancing content, so free,
she makes it look so easy.

I'm not one for pride
but dance shoes worn and dried,
yet only given a small aside.

I am the road-paver,
the stone-setter,
the aimless wonderer,
don't mind me, I'll just be
keeping quiet,
because I know better.

Delayed clock
Savio lays underneath unwashed quilts
Grandmother hand made
Savio lays with a woman
“Why are your eyes so Green.”
Savio said to her lips
She had painted them very red
and when they kissed
the lipstick smudged like a charcoal drawing outside in the April rain in Maine
“My eyes flicker green when you kiss me. When you are with me.”
Savio kissed her forehead
It was 1AM
Kansas
Down the street there is a church
the yellowish orange lights are on all night
When Savio buys 3 dollar wine
He walks to the Brick dressed yellowish orange lit Church
Pick up trucks that are thin with metal
rusted at the square gas tank
rusted at the curves of its wheels
rusted at the grill
rusted at the door handles
at the hubcaps
at the bed
at the windshield wipers
at the side view mirrors
at the belt buckles
at the radio dials
at the steering wheels
Flutter by
like children throwing rocks
like Winter
like rain at 7am
Savio sits there
drinking his cold 3 dollar wine
thinking of Mexico
thinking of the magical women he had made love too
kissed
taken out to dinner and lunches and breakfasts
thinking of Long Nights with his brother
Crossing streets with warm bottles of good beer
to Neon lit bars
to bars only lit by cigarettes and tiny radios blasting
Jazz or Rock n' Roll or The Blues or Billie Holiday
Never the news

Savio looked at the woman next to him in his bed
Her eyes were closed
He imagined her closed eye-lids as a moth
With its upright folded gray wings
night
standing underneath the warm breath of a Lamp

Savio liked The Moths
He read about them
He thought of them as the poets
as the painters
as the pianists
as the ballet dancers
as the violinists
of the insects

Savio also liked Boxelder Bugs
they do no harm
they sneak in through the cracks and door openings of homes in winter
They hide underneath sheets of poems
Van Gogh paintings on the walls
Savio woke to a Boxelder Bug on his lips once

The woman that lied with Savio
was beautiful
her clothes were expensive
her body was cruel not to touch
her life was good
Money
***
Beauty
Youth

Savio had none of these
He was handsome
His face was shaded with a few days of hair
His eyes were bright from the many days in the sun as a boy
His eye lashes were long like the docks of rivers from plucking them when he couldnt sleep
Youth was a long time ago for Him
and he sat at parks
watched the kids play
watched Summer
watched April
watched the Roses and the Trees and the Water
grow younger and younger
as He
Stood still as his fingernails grew
and his teeth yellowed by each AM cup of coffee
and each AM cigarette

Savio did not care about Money
he cared about ***, and Beauty, and Youth
yet,
did not wish these upon himself
he
Admired them
like a womans smile
like a Sunrise coasting over a cold morning with white Swans fluttering in the sky
and the Cigarette tastes like purity
and the cigarette has meaning
more meaning than Death
or Life
or being Wise

He admired the woman next to him in bed
he did not feel bad for her
or envy her

He envied on the ease of her sleep
The ease of her happiness
The ease of her
carelessness to beauty
or poetry
or music

He envied the Fools

Savio lied there
Her lips perfectly shaped like clouds
or the designs on a butterfly
or the moon's glow late at night
when the birds are dreaming
when the Dog is fast asleep
when the convict is tired
when the Sun has clocked out
24/7 Sun
like an immigrant

Savio looked at the alarm clock
3AM
the womans Dress and stockings and shoes and Bra and ******* were on the floor
along with her Class Status

Savio has always been poor
He enjoyed it
He liked long days
Reading yesterdays paper that he had found on the road
Counting the numbers of Blue Mini-vans that stop at the red light
He liked going to the park
Climbing a Tree
or sitting at a dock
letting his toes and feet prune
His skin red and the smell of dirt

He liked no Television
He liked his two pairs of pants
His few shirts
His red sweater that his grandmother made him
his pair of shoes
He had a little radio alarm clock
that he had since he was a boy

His father most have stolen it
Given to Savio as a birthday present

His Father was a good man
A bad man facing society
A good man facing his family
He did what he could to get by
He drank

Savio liked to think of himself as a good man
Though he enjoyed the Vices of life
That is why he could never be Religious
Savio was too brave to be told what to do
He was too wild to have his cravings and emotions held down by leather

He liked women
He liked Drinking
He liked cigarettes
He liked Cursing
He liked ***
He liked Humor and Thought about Death
He liked to Fight
He liked to contemplate Life
He liked to contemplate Women
Drinking
Cigarettes
Cursing
***
Humor
Death

Savio
was a good man
He kept to himself
Laughed to himself
walked to bars and parks and highway bridges all to himself

He was a Looker a Searcher a Wonderer a Wanderer

And Life
is a good place to do these things.


Savio got up from his small bed
looked around his small house
opened a small cupboard
grabbed a small coffee mug

Put on his one pair of shoes
Shined them with his old shine shoe case
that his Uncle had given him

He then put on his shirt
it was slightly aged
it was slightly *****
Tho
it was 5AM
and no one would be able too see this

He then put on his jacket
a dark brown swede jacket
it was stained at the shoulder
it was wrinkled
he had spilled gasoline on it last month
and it still had a slight scent of unleaded gasoline
Even though it had rained many times

His pants were strong
They were 5 years old
rough and thick with denim

He felt good
There was no wind being blown
His wine was cold
His eyes were clear
He had a full pack of cigarettes
and a book of matches

This time he walked to the Highway bridge
sometimes on the metal fence
there would be stale roses twisted around the fence

And Savio would pluck them off
dropping them over the highway
onto cars and 18-wheelers headed to Florida

Savio sat at the small cliff
next to the highway bridge
The grass was gold and tall
He took drinks of his wine
slowly the Headlights
turned to Taillights.

Your rode map is tattered.
Not a penny to your name.
But just a year ago,
You were on top,
had the riches and the fame.
I bet you never thought,
Your greasest enemy,
The one you rivaled with,
Would turn out to be me.
You loved to manipulate,
Bend and splatter.
I didnt know my pureness,
Would make you shatter.
"Till the end" you say,
As we embrace in a hug.
I never thought the end was coming,
Until you swatted me like a bug.
Now you want a come back.
And you need different allies.
So you push away me.
But I believed all of your lies.
"Best friend."
Best friends.
"Oh c'mon you don't have to pretend!"
...
I wasn't.
I cared.
I loved you.
I was there!
And now you want to exlude me,
From your new "important" people.
You grew tired of the old you,
ditched the church and the steeple.
So now your headed,
In a different direction.
Keeping me out of the picture,
And giving them your infection.

Well that's great.

But im hurt.

Im hurt that you have this mindset,
Im hurt that i feel loss.
Im hurt that i let you in
And now i pay the cost.
But i let others in too,
And friend groups will change.
But just remember this,
The true friends will remain.

I am a wonderer.
I don’t follow the path set for me
I’m like a bird who is free
I don't follow society's rules
Because the fear of being rejected is so minuscule
And what I say ,to you might seem like a mouthful
But to me it's extremely colorful

I may not be good at art
But i follow my heart
For what to me might seem like a symphony
Can seem to you like Blasphery

But I hope that you can see
That the difference is great to me
O' dear God this rhyme
Makes it seem like I'm wasting my time

Where is this going
It kinda seems to be growing

If you took a stroll
inside my heart
you'd feel
an earthquake
every time
it beats
echoing
his
name

Hissing near my window, as if the cobra were striking
screeching audible like the bald eagle of injustice were diving
haunted cities of poverty parading delinquency like a soldiers ribbon
little brother that receives the backlash of disturbance in his home and abroad
as if a whip were cracking, the angry, grotesque whip of prejudice.  

lonely wonderer click-clacking through memories that toll the scroll
and through tears and acceptance and black holes of the mind,
to survive this circus tent that is no more a fantasy than it is just,
no more a joke than the joke itself
and only cruel cowards and ravenous robbers are laughing, pointing
sharp fingers in our faces and shrieking about revenge.

((Reading the notes might help you to understand this poem slightly more... though I can't guarantee it.))*

You know the best place to build a base would be the middle of the ocean.

just a thought

It was last September I told her, I told her to leave.

Help I'm drowning.

that's how it felt

Get her out the road I said, you know there could be anything coming round that corner.

still, I hope you know that sometimes this world has sent me crazy and

I hope you know I have now walked in completely the wrong direction to get home.

but let me give you some advice before I leave completely, it will never make much sense to you, but it will never really need to

When the river becomes starved of water,
don't go throwing bucketfuls of water at it's parched tongue now,
What you've got to do is you've got to plant yourself a flower or two in there, or otherwise build yourself a castle in the dirt,
Something like that.



Well, sh-t.

I have to leave now.

even now I can tell you know I never will
and really

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I always knew I was asking too much of you, when I asked if you might still be my friend.

No, don't go that way.

but you can't stop me
and
anyway, anyway, maybe if I let it go now

It will all be fine.
They will probably just turn up in a box of instruments somewhere.

good feelings often do, but then, I suppose, so do bad ones




What's the name of this tree?
I am having a shower in this tree look, a shower made of leaves, like, the water droplets are these leaves.
I always think these trees look like shower trees, the way the leaves hang down.

hey, hey, remember in those woods, before I showered

All I wanted was to find some grass, and you took me to the one place completely full of nettles.

I'll never forget it



I know,
I know I keep telling them and I know I keep telling you, and him and her and me and everyone, but

He hates my guts now, he really does, and all I ever did was keep trying to do the kindest thing, I keep trying to be kind.



but if I just forget all that
the truth is, when we go walking

We're not even drunk, not in the slightest.

and I'd like to tell you what I am

But I can't make decisions, Annie make a decision for me.

but how then

How are you so calm?
I just don't think about the future.

that's the only explanation I can give



thinking about it, I guess

I'm usually inside this like, wall of, kind of, mirrors.
But they're all different shapes so they don't line up perfectly, like, there are gaps.

and when I'm in a pavement mood

I'd rather have her shouting at me than tell her that the thing was, that I was sad then, and that was the reason why.

I think I'm like one of those buzzy globe things,
What are they called the brain things,
A plasma ball that's it.
But not as spherical, 'coz then it's all the same and nothing ever gets out.

there has to be some kind of gap, some kind of break somewhere



so I've had an idea

So can we all buy a boat?

or perhaps I could just be one

Look, by standing in this puddle I'm basically in the river, see?



I know I get distracted a lot,
sometimes I hear them tell me to try,
the thing with trying is that

The closest I would ever get to perfect was always in an accident,
So I think that true perfect must be broken up into at least a million, billion different accidents,
And maybe someday someone will piece them all together,
But then I think that their life might just be so full of accidents that it wouldn't even be theirs anymore,
And they would probably become so mad that nobody would ever believe them.



So anyway,  when are you going to tell me some more of your dreams?

I'm sorry, I never meant to go deeper than just to paddle in yet.

He said he's bricking it.

but I've been remembering my dreams in the morning when I wake up recently, and I've been finding the words and I think I can keep moving

There's a woods behind my house now, but I don't want to adventure there on my own really.

I think I'd like to know where all those little paths lead to someday though
so

Shall we open that gate?

or maybe we could just climb it
I don't know



I guess really I'm a wanderer, but also a wonderer,
perhaps one more than the other,
I can never be sure.

Certainty is someone who I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting.

I only ever hear bad things about him.

but hey, don't let yourself be too quick to judge I said

We've only heard of about ten crimes in the area in the past year, most of them thefts.




sometimes

I swear she doesn't even know who I am.
No, but honestly,  I think it was just that microphone that got in the way.

Why don't you all just leave? It's not like any of you even care.

but we both know that's a lie
and anyway

It always calms me when there's sunlight on my face.

then all I need is a nice deep breath and it's gone
and I know that

Yes, there is still a bottle of ***** on my chest of draws.

but really, it's okay because it's empty you see



now here's something that will make you smile

That cloud looks like an elephant with its legs on backwards.

I hope you see

And ever since you saw it, you wanted your hand to be touched in that way.

well, maybe that's just me
perhaps I shouldn't have said that
what have I become
I could not tell you the first day I began to live the life I'm living now but one thing I have realised is that

I have probably found more meaning in a field of grass to be honest, than I ever have in most other things in the world.

sorry, sorry
we're still paddling though I think, so it should be okay



Sometimes the world is just too much and I forget what to do.

have you felt how it affects us

I tied a scarf around my eyes this morning, because the light was too bright through my curtain.

and

You're losing your voice from talking so much.

but the whole world won't make me forget how much

I love the way it feels when I breathe the air in the morning or the evening,
when it's like the day's changing from one thing to another.

and the whole world won't ever make me forget this thought I keep on hearing in my head,
that*

We need to just find somewhere,
somewhere to have a moment.

Lost child afternoon
green pick up truck
cigarettes silver lipstick gold'n red
red like the horizon
in closed eyes
in
underwater blankets
where
Tiny fish and clams and beer bottles swim
Lost Child Afternoon
Gorgeous road signs
laying like a dog
with women of Florida purity alligator tongue
laying like a dead fly
on the carpets chest
resting like a mother
resting like a newborn Larva
like a newborn seed
grasping onto a Nebrask-ian breeze
A'hoy
A'hoy
the sail boat of life
is casting out
give us
give eye
a penny for a ride
for a passser-by
2 pennies to love
3 to keep the love
and 4 to
come back to shore
come aboard
come aboard
the whiskey is
practically gone
practically free
Wear some boots
because  it rains
and the mud is thick like hair
the flowers of life
bow like magnificent dream girl eye lashes
questions balance on a blink
come aboard
life seeker
life conquistador
life Apollo 11'er
life
wanderer wonderer
life protagonists
life main character
life 10 dollars
life love affair
life
30 years old
in dog years
Life
Mexican SunRise
Life
A.M.
Life
take her out to dinner
she put on
25 dollar lipstick
to imprint
to stain
your
offered
cigarette.

Moment
Too many changes
But solutions are slow to be found
Expectations are too high for reasons
And time passes to fast to accommodate the task at hand
Should I bend the boundaries and
Plea for salvation to hurry and assist
Maybe I’ll insist to exit on my cue
That is why I call upon you
Can you guide this wonderer to an oasis?
Maybe you can point to a place where I can fish
My heart devours the loneliness of the mundane
Day to day
But in your arms to the end is where I lay
Bidding farewell to puddles on a rainy day
My lust paved the road for our emotional reward.
-Alexis J. Meighan-

INTRO

What happens beyond the realms of  reasoning, where do the lines of  reality blur, How close are the boundaries between light and dark, between dusk and dawn.
  What takes us beyond the thresh hold, the point of  sunlight and shadows, Are  we lying in wait as our limitations are questioned? How many souls have been taken unwillingly to the depths .
         Fall into a place, this chaos which so quickly crept into me, slipping away bringing me back to thoughts of sanity.
  But tainted thoughts stain what innocence is left, making me vulnarble and weak.
  Corruption is tempting you to just give into its wicked ways, influenced by bad habits unable to be dealt with, your surccumed to the sins.
  Such problems now swallow you entirely. There is no cure to this disease, I'm fighting and pondering a hopeless battle, I see no victory for me in the end.
  I will never win, I fear and know this now.

CHAPTER ONE

After the silence entered me,got inside rmy head  ,the lack of sound drowned out all the outside noise . Oh so quiet my world became,except for a suttle  humming,buzzing which echoed in my ears, I could only make it cease with the voices in my mind,my thoughts which I could now hear, and I heard them loud and clear. I heard fear, panic,uncertainty, so many questions I had no answers for.  I told myself its just this happens,maybe its just age,it won't last, this silence won't last,right. Yet another voice told me that something has gone terribly wrong here,and that this is only the begging of my end.  Along came the silence with it then came isolation, one by one everyone I loved let me and has not yet came back. Not even strangers met my path, instead I came across loneliness who now won't leave my side, all alone left to deal with me by myself.

CHAPTER TWO


It didn't take much time until the whispers began at first they only came with dusk,the end of day,when the sun sets taking the light from the world. The sky dims ,lower and lower until all is covered with a blanket of darkness. Shadows creep in slowly cascading across my walls, they remind me that something wicked this way comes,the essence of dread is in the air. An unsettling aura keeps me from sleep, as night falls my eyes grow heavy and my mind is so tattered. Yet slumber eludes me for the fear is much stronger. I lye  awake yet another night. Up until yesterday only an unwelcoming silence suffocated me made my emptiness almost unbearable. Then,well then it was broken, in the 2am hour, a whisper entered my dreamless conscience mind,from no distinct place and yet from every direction both at once

CHAPTER THREE

With such length of time now with deaf ears, I instantly noticed the change of frequencies, though it spoke in a low,low pitch normally it would go unheard or simply mistaken as a gust of wind. But lying there uneasy amounst the darkness of solitude,lacking of sleep and being not of sound mind by this point, I had begun to speak my thoughts aloud, answering my own questions, listening to my own voice somehow gave me comfort when nothing else could. Whispers,quiet whispers echo into the night, for my ears only. I can't clearly understand what they tell me, but the tones of each word gave
off a unsettling undertones that sent chills through me, if only I could understand, but  my  translation of these whispers are inaudible, pinned down by a fear that I'm sinking in slowly,like quicksand,its slowing pulling me under. A catatonic scream paralyzes every part of me, and I can't stop this, this downward spiral into madness. A descent into insanity, I feel myself growing weaker as my mind struggles against  chaos and the discontent , my dreams are dying before my eyes that will not close so I might rest, no no lately the days have brought me only misery,and a question of my faith, it will not give me a moment of ease cause every night has been just the same

CHAPTER FOUR

Why is this happening to me, why won't this just stop, and let me be, this hope fades the longer I live this way, won't somebody come save me, I'm wasting away and I have no control , my will is broken now. How did I not see this coming, something wicked this way comes, it comes for my soul, every peice of me turns black, and it hurts until I'm numb, A sudden suffer rips over me just before dawn, I  understood the  whisperes after all ,go adead just give in, suffocation is near, taken into a sea of self despair, this life you live and breath isn't yours any longer, step by step you will stumble, until you fall, until your empty and hollow.  Where can I go, where will I run, when there's nowhere to hide, nowhere at all. I thought i saw a glimpse of the mourning sun before I fainted from the weight of realizing that I am far from the better days ,tomorrow will lead me further, is this real, or I'm I only dreaming, is this reality or have I imagined all of this, I just don't know these days, time laughs in my face, and I sit silent and still. Watching myself fall,and fall and fall

CHAPTER FIVE

  Down in the dark, an endless night, keeps away the sunshine, cause lately I've been stuck in the shade, wishing for brighter days that are so faintly seen in the distance, I fear none of my wishes will be granted, now many of will be destroyed. I can not change this spiral into extinction, helplessly I watch myself stumbling, crumbling, and slowly coming apart.
  As I live and breath, I see my life wasting away.
Choking on what is yet to come, everyday brings me another dose of misery and a lothing ache that spreads thru me , suffocation is draining me from the inside out, What is pain, I can't scream loud enough to express what has taken ahold of me these days
  All this crept in on me like a cloud, why me I keep asking myself, won't this just go away, won't this just let me be, did I deserve this, well did i , nobody should ever know these wicked ways and all the inflict upon your soul.

CHAPTER 6

Y So with my mind a mess so much so that my consintration strains each thought, I can barely function anymore, and sleep depervation blurs my vision,ive been seeing traces and objects that aren't really there. Plus add the pain, loneliness, and total breakdown of my will, the stress is more then I can handle, I bear a heavy burden, and the weight is crushing me, but what can I do, nothing, I can't run far enough,or hide where I can't be found, please save my soul I whisper aloud, to late the damage is done, this is how I will die, surcombed to a bittersweet end, one day at a time. Now adrift into the void that swallows me up ,and a darkness dissolved another
day

CHAPTER 7

Within a few days I have managed to lose everything, All I am, all I gave and all I  made of this life, Step by step I watched it taken from my grasp, I saw what I worked so hard for be stolen, so easily from me. Peice by price my very exsistance was shattering , All this has torn my world whole apart,  it is being taken out from right underneath my feet.
   Ya I've been experiencing some real trials and tribulations ,they say life isn't easy  but they don't go into depths of how ****** up it can be, or how far down you can fall without any warnings or signs that you didn't realize until it was to late and the damage has been done.  Oh no I've heard some really messed up stories about some of the **** some people have lived thru. But in my personal opinion my life started 2 days ago and it this life of mine since then has been slowly deterating,

CHAPTER 8

ya I'm a sad sort who isn't alive in a sense but instead a slipping mindless  lost soul, that has nothing to look forward to because tomorrow isn't going to be any better and it never will.
    When the sun rises up from the darkness  bringing you Into another morning your wishing harder and harder wouldn't come. That just one night would be your last and you wouldn't take another breath of the morning air. Why oh why can't you just fade out with the darkness,  why oh why can't these misfourtonate events of lately end, I just want everything to just end. And if you Were in my shoes I know for certain you would feel the same way as I do now.


CHAPTER 9

Y … Well I can not express these emotions that have, but they are intensely surging inside me. And I only wish I could share my pain, if only there was someone besides myself to share what I'm going through. It would make it a little easier, well probably not but at least someone else would understand,to feel what I do right now.
So it may seem like I'm droning on and on, Im probably not telling my story so anyone can make sense of it.
  So sorry if I haven't made sense or if I've told this scattered all about.  My thoughts aren't as sharp or clear as they were before this nightmare started, a few short no make that long,long days ago.

Chapter 10

YThis verse keeps repeating in the back of my mind, kinda like a
  song you  hear somewhere but your not sure where, and can't get outta your head ,you find yourself humming it subconsciously ,and this is whats stuck in mine.
  Here I am, Here in this place, Here in this state,Here I am a nowhere Wonderer.
  This is me, This is all of me, This is what I've become, This is who you see now, LA LA LA LA
  I hum this melancholy tune as sappy as it may be,all day long from morning to evening, 24 hours,no 48 hrs. , no 64 hrs. now. I guess I've lost count but it seems that there's been a broken record placed someplace inside my head.

chapter 11

YSo this brings me back to the present hour.  And once again, yet one more day which hasnt let up on any of torment continuing to be inflicted upon my mind, body and soul. I struggled through the sunlight until the moonlight shone down upon me.
  Naturally I find myself lying silent and still, insomnia plagues my weairy self , drained of any motivation. I really couldn't move or accomplish a single thing, I felt frozen inside myself, trapped in a almost vegetable state.
      Dropped in the velvet shroud of darkness, night has placed a veil over the land, and it has me in its embrass but instead of a calming drowsiness as  all others are effected, I instead have an allergic reaction.  For sleep will not come to my tired restless soul, not when fear enters the mind and stirs up the worst of thoughts, how can I relax with such horrible not stations.
      

Chapter 12

T  Here I am starring into the air as the clock marks 3 in the am hour.  I almost thought I might or that I could catch a few zzzzz's, a quick cat nap to recooperate,to regenerate my mind,oh yes my mind in such a desperate need of rest. As well as my body, my sore,aching bones, im throbing all the way to my very core. So when I felt at ease for how ever brief a moment it may last I willed sleep to come, sandman bring me to the land of nod, please oh please.
  But of course as I shouldn't of expected much less, I blinked and my moment was gone, once more I wouldn't dream,wouldn't sleep, wouldn't find slumber or any escape from my new found reality,
In a land far far away, fantasy and make beleive are put on pause cause my presence has been marked absent

Chapter 13

   They started in a low low  tone, the whispers.
Whisper,whisper,whisper, ascending louder with each tick tock of the clocks hands, clockwise,round and round the clocks face marking time, reminding me my life grows shorter with each tick and each tock.
  Ya t-i-m-e isn't on my side, oh no its not, but it makes me feel lm gonna die, and I'll keep running back, yes I'll keep running back.  Ya I can't stop even if I tried. N-o-o-o time isn't on my side, and that's a brutal fact.
Hhiisss, hiss, blahblahblah,yaddayaddayadda, mumbles of the incoherent voices, the voices I guess if that's what you want to call them, these whispers calling out to me, relentlessly tearing me down , thru all the twilight hours
of the night.
   With the morning dawn,  the whispers grow quite once more, disapating with the dark skies.
  Im conflicted by the sight of the sun rising, not sure if I welcome the light of day or curse another day I find myself in it.
  For one daybreak ends the whispers which I'm sssooo thankful for, but yet its another day I have to deal with the misery and pain that seems to intensify with every day that comes and gos and comes back for another round.
  
  

chapter 14


  I got a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror today and I almost didn't recognize the stranger staring back at me me face had changed, my cheeks where sunken in, I didn't notice how much weight I had lost, but I guess I hadn't eaten a thing for days I just had no appetite the thought of food made me nausious, so I went without.
  And my eyes they looked so vacant my pupils where so dialated like eyes gone black, to match the deep darkened circles under them.
Just a glance and you could tell ive been neglecting my health, I looked pretty banged up, a real mess. I didn't dare look to long cause my appearance made me sick to my stomach, in only  3 days going on 4 I seemed to have aged 10 years, and the deeping lines on my face showed it.
Oh what a sorry sight I am, and I'm glad no one will see me this way, even if someone did I had a feeling they wouldn't even care. I let out a depressing sigh I am damaged goods now, this black cloud that hangs over me has made sure to push and shove everything I had, all that I loved. Took my life right out of my hands and crushed it, so that piece by price my life wasn't my own anymore, I had nothing to link me to the life I once knew. Why me, I don't think I'll ever know. But what a tangled web they've wooven for me, and on that note I let out another mournful sigh.
  

Chapter 15

YSo I push and shove well corruption bends my will, no matter what I do I can not make it still. Instead Im inflicted with a disease that there is known cure for, my diagnosis is a fatal one with a slim chance to nil that I'm gonna go into remission and win,having a full recovery, , I can feel it in my bones and I just know I will lose this battle,no matter how tough or how hard I fight against this,this bad bad thing, this destroyer of souls, this devourer of free will, this monster in my nightmares that has crawled out from my dreams to haunt me well I'm awake. I think I'm going crazy, but Im watching myself go insane and I have no control, how maddning this situation has reached, reaching out without reasoning.


Chapter 16

  So here I am still as another day finds the dawn and once more I watch the sun rise, but I can't see the beauty in this anymore.
Now I believe this makes day four without sleep, without rest, without happiness, without any emotion or feeling, except the constant dread and emptiness that has drained me dry.
  I can tell this wickedness has grown a little stronger, its borrowing its way into my soul.
  Alls I can do is helplessly sit back and and wait, to just let this happen to me, and realizing this only makes me weaker. Im becoming such a fragile being, I'm almost afraid to move from this spot, cause my brittle body will most likely shatter to peices.


Chapter 17

Tick tock, tick tock the clock laughs in my face, it screams at me telling me that time has no meaning in my life from this moment on, and as the hands round the clocks face hour after hour, tick tock tick tock, your running out of time , your life is coming to an end sooner then later.
  Amoungst the buzzing silence of the daytime, I hear the clock somewhere in the background, its becoming a nuisance, annoying me just enough to where I can't possibly try to ignore it.
  I sit here silent and still, motionless , paralyzed from fea

Our relationship has always been bumpy,
harboring nothing more than hatred and discontent
towards one another.
A part of me held hope that things would get better
between you and I,
between mother and son,
but
    the words
          you said
              that day...

"That's your problem - always asking why. You need to stop asking questions all the time, and just do what your told."

In that moment
I knew
that all hope was lost,
for your son is a wonderer
and will never stop wondering.
Until you understand that,
I guess you'll always consider me a misbehaved brat.

The proof of past times.
The warning of the lost minds.
Who is more sane?
The man in suit and briefcase in hand.
Or the man who's cup jingles all covered in rags.
One clone circuits through the track never to win the race he runs.
The wonderer thinks on greater things but he's the only one.
There is no soul within the clones.
There's only ever wants.
To be accepted, labeled normal.
The manufacture never stops.
The few and wise are weary.
They see the soulless dancers.
They understand that man's diseased.
The Earth's very own cancer.
It's funny how they think themselves to be as good as good can be.
Then **** the world around them.
If they have hearts, they do not beat.
They trample truth beneath their feet!
They give no hope to those who seek!
They say their strong but THEY ARE WEAK!
THEYRE ALL AFRAID TO BE UNIQUE!
AFRAID OF TRUTH AND HUMBLE LIFE!
THIS MASS IS COMMITING SUICIDE!
FOR THEIR OWN COMFORTS AND LUXURIES.
YOU ALL ADD TO THE DISEASE.
but i am only one small voice.
They cannot hear above the noise.
They are a selfish loathsome thing.
The clones converge into one being.
They have no mind to do whats right.
They follow wrong reject the light.
BUT I WILL YELL AND SCREAM AND FIGHT!
BECAUSE I HAVE NOT LOST MY SIGHT!
I FOLLOW GOD AND SOMEDAY SOON.
He'll loose his rage.
To all untrue.

Eyes, lips, fingers, with these she reached my emotions the secret place in my heart that I don’t
Even know she stirred the most fabulous places of need I came as a wonderer that has always
Searched with a cry that is endless and will never end until I stand in the presence of all love
You discomfited all the reason I possessed living eyes held me they spoke a language only
Known and understood by the soul my will fell bewildered how does one respond the telling of
The ages are at work but I am but struck dumb in the presence of fulfillment that gives
Answers to questions that I only long to know the melting as a great ice pack with it
Unconquerable mysterious land mass that adventures have bravely trekked to their outer
Limits in these pools of sight heart and mind are connected and then with fluid words of love
They excite and let me know that treasure without price has been offered how do you answer
When your tongue has been rendered lifeless bound by boundless incentives the vagaries and
Poverty of only human means is asked to answer truly you can’t see or know the power or
Loveliness that I am confounded by I am already at the greatest loss I can ever expect to  
Encounter then your lips move shaken I hope I don’t fall but I am falling into this vision dreams
Swirl a dance has begun ancient by ways cordially invite the maiden fills the air with electricity
As she moves with grace and profound turbulence she stirs and then as suddenly she grows
Quiet and still a flower has materialized a fragrance permeates hay fields golden rod musty
Swirls of smoke in old houses and the smell after a refreshing rain blends nothing less than the
Sacred has been penetrated then with boldness born out of the heart of a knight I with the
Boldest regard lean forward to touch them with mine the invitation is presented with the
Pronouncement of a keen order of respect and then one feels as he knows what first man felt  
When a luscious delightful berry was sweetly pressed for taste but in this case you add the
Vibrancy of a lovely creature to the equation the flow the essence the enormity of life a being
Of splendid quality and unutterable beauty are you breathless confused well to bad there is
More then she touches your skin a fire from cool fingers so contradictory what journeys ensue  
Rivers lands wealth paradise all of this bogs the mind it’s all because men for some reason are
So dense they never get what gift is presented to one degree it is mans own idea of himself and
His twisted conception robs him of what privilege is his when he looks on a woman I haven’t
Done justice to the subject but it will be theme throughout my writing

If it means for the next 3 days you do nothing but eat apple butter and pizza toast , then so be it. As long as it is you who is feeling this. Being guilt tripped be fear happens to us all. But recall to oneself that fear is
False Evidence Appearing Real…. that and 5 long breaths should clear any fog.
Do enjoy yourself….. life is not about pain only. Subjective  are the connotations of things like pain and fear , death and war. Do see them as rough materials to work with. There is too much ( and i’m not the too much police , believe me.. ) There is too much wonder in the cosmos for life to be about pain only.
I am a thought artist , an astral creator , a realm wonderer with purpose.
Dig deep and hug that fear , transmute it and in the process aid another being who is stuck , woman … do your good in all the nooks and crannies…. see how light it makes you feel , see how whole it makes you feel… see how centered it makes you!
Do trust.

I never felt ok
I never felt not ok
I found a way

I swam backwards, against the grain and granted my pain the grace to keep me sane while feeling so outside my brain that novocaine and Kurt Cobaine could barely find the vein of comfortably numb I need to stay inside my lane

Like Bane I was born in the dark and somehow I found a spark, the light at the end of the tunnel if the tunnel was more like a pit
It’s amazing how much perspective matters when you’re inside of it
The gravity overwhelms me when I’m at the helm, but sometimes I can get my feet in the air and my head on the ground and vertical seems a little more horizontal this time around
Perhaps that’s the trick
A trick of the light
A way to finally fight
A way to come undone from holding so **** tight

Let loose but still in boundaries, that’s what I always had to do because true freedom confounds me
I don’t know what to do when I feel so blue that even pure O2 couldn’t bring back a normal hue
Suffocating and ice skating cold as ice maybe that’s why 11 minutes won’t suffice, I’m the ice man with my ice plan maybe a cold bath will clean the blood from my hands
I can’t stand a headstand ‘cause the feeling of being free has always escaped me, locked in the trunk like Stan, and surrender sounds so sweet until I feel the pain that hides behind the sweet release
How much pain have I endured and how many people have I cured without ever helping myself
Too many to be sure
Healer heal thyself but I’m the biggest hypocrite on the shelf
Mental health or mental wealth I never know I just show myself the way of zen and keep on diving in
Sometimes it’s healing that sends me reeling, sometimes it’s joy that transcends feeling
Keeling over from either I choose neither, I want to be numb but something inside me tells me that’s dumb, don’t succumb, don’t just *** but be the sum of all the pain and like the rain fall back to earth find rebirth and recycle through the trees and the clouds no longer shrouds but part of being pure bright seeing without fleeing perfect being without me-ing am I leaping to conclusions or transcending my delusions I don’t know I’m just here spitting typing fire words for myself in thirds

Me myself and I
I always wonder why
Myself and Me can’t get on the same team but who is the wonderer when my attention wanders
One under the other I discover it’s a self collapsing doll, turtles all the way down after all
Stop and stall when I will but I still find a thrill from the jagged little pill of self-knowledge that I hate to acknowledge
I get to the ledge and say no way, not today, I can’t take the leap I’m too afraid
That’s why I stayed, alone in the dark for so long
Trapped in the pit of my despair
No one there
Maybe they were but I didn’t let them in
I didn’t let them see my sin I sent them away and prayed that someone without judgment might one day help me see the gray
I don’t know how else to convey that this black and white mentality is insanity and calamity and the only thing that ever made sense to me
I want to change, I want to be the man that I sometimes can see
But sometimes he is blurry for the tears
Blurrier still for all my fears
Blurrier yet again for all the years
So many that I let slip by and now I finally find the strength to try

To be the light at the end of the tunnel, the top of the pit
To be the hole and the funnel, gas finally lit
An explosion that propels me onward and upward
I am not throwing away my shot
I will not run away and hide
Finding a reason for these tears I’ve cried
Pit or tunnel, I’m no longer inside
One final thought for me to confide:
Aiming toward the sky is the best thing that I’ve ever tried

Three points


Eyes, lips, fingers, with these she reached my emotions the secret place in my heart that I don’t
Even know she stirred the most fabulous places of need I came as a wonderer that has always
Searched with a cry that is endless and will never end until I stand in the presence of all love
You discomfited all the reason I possessed living eyes held me they spoke a language only
Known and understood by the soul my will fell bewildered how does one respond the telling of
The ages are at work but I am but struck dumb in the presence of fulfillment that gives
Answers to questions that I only long to know the melting as a great ice pack with it
Unconquerable mysterious land mass that adventures have bravely trekked to their outer
Limits in these pools of sight heart and mind are connected and then with fluid words of love
They excite and let me know that treasure without price has been offered how do you answer
When your tongue has been rendered lifeless bound by boundless incentives the vagaries and
Poverty of only human means is asked to answer truly you can’t see or know the power or
Loveliness that I am confounded by I am already at the greatest loss I can ever expect to  
Encounter then your lips move shaken I hope I don’t fall but I am falling into this vision dreams
Swirl a dance has begun ancient by ways cordially invite the maiden fills the air with electricity
As she moves with grace and profound turbulence she stirs and then as suddenly she grows
Quiet and still a flower has materialized a fragrance permeates hay fields golden rod musty
Swirls of smoke in old houses and the smell after a refreshing rain blends nothing less than the
Sacred has been penetrated then with boldness born out of the heart of a knight I with the
Boldest regard lean forward to touch them with mine the invitation is presented with the
Pronouncement of a keen order of respect and then one feels as he knows what first man felt  
When a luscious delightful berry was sweetly pressed for taste but in this case you add the
Vibrancy of a lovely creature to the equation the flow the essence the enormity of life a being
Of splendid quality and unutterable beauty are you breathless confused well to bad there is
More then she touches your skin a fire from cool fingers so contradictory what journeys ensue  
Rivers lands wealth paradise all of this bogs the mind it’s all because men for some reason are
So dense they never get what gift is presented to one degree it is mans own idea of himself and
His twisted conception robs him of what privilege is his when he looks on a woman I haven’t
Done justice to the subject but it will be theme throughout my writing

Broken
He stole away through dark and cold streets just a wonderer no one noticed he fell from grace not even
A trace was found did not glory he hold unmapped the wilderness now his domain the dark twisted
Trees form his understanding he hears the creatures exceptionally well the man shifts from man to beast
It takes derangement to reorder a person of exceptional abilities to be a ruler who no one questions to a
Fool that no one sees is a great fall indeed now the clouded moon a sphere it transfixes his mind it alone
Seemingly his only kind friend he hides in the day from fear so the blessed warmth of the sun he never
Feels jumbled sentences string together they seem commanding but make no sense at all his hair has
Grown the crowning of madness eerily displayed he handles rocks and branches as they have fallen from
The sky he intently studies them to no avail they have no significance or meaning with a grunt and a
Growl he tosses them aside goes on about his wondering free thoughts streak through his mind he
Seems to see royal robes a throne how the delirium of the mind does mock he lies on the early morning
Dew arches upward with a howl of a beleaguered mind crying out for comprehension what altered
World realities he must view the most common objects divide morph into hideous ridiculous concepts
Delusional aspects loss reality given new birth in frontiers of destruction the total breakdown of the
Human structure along known lines all is ramped up and on a rampage what worth is this piece of
Human tragedy as worth as much as you and me this one described was none other than the known ruler
Of the world at that time he was being taught a fundamental lesson of who was actually in charge man or his
Creator so many of us have difficulty in having faith in the unseen some would say it’s insane just like
This man’s condition but listen to one we can at least see in part as ourselves King Nebuchadnezzar’s it
Says came to himself in the fields and his noblemen came and restored him to his kingdom his words
And views were forever changed it was no longer I the big it but it is God who rules through all
Generations it is He who should be worshiped if you’re in danger of going into eternal judgment and you
Just stroll along then you’re mad and you need to come to yourself and your noble ones as angels will
Come and restore you to all that which is yours that you now disallow by living a low life that is empty and
You hold to a disfigured reality that controls and will deliver you to the second death of the lake of fire
Go on post filth that degrades yourself and others but inwardly your soul’s cry is please come to yourself
If someone grabbed your child you would fight to the death to save them but they grab your soul for the purpose of you being destroyed with them because of their original sin and evil and you don’t lift a finger now that’s crazy

Eyes, lips, fingers, with these she reached my emotions the secret place in my heart that I don’t
Even know she stirred the most fabulous places of need I came as a wonderer that has always
Searched with a cry that is endless and will never end until I stand in the presence of all love
You discomfited all the reason I possessed living eyes held me they spoke a language only
Known and understood by the soul my will fell bewildered how does one respond the telling of
The ages are at work but I am but struck dumb in the presence of fulfillment that gives
Answers to questions that I only long to know the melting as a great ice pack with it
Unconquerable mysterious land mass that adventures have bravely trekked to their outer
Limits in these pools of sight heart and mind are connected and then with fluid words of love
They excite and let me know that treasure without price has been offered how do you answer
When your tongue has been rendered lifeless bound by boundless incentives the vagaries and
Poverty of only human means is asked to answer truly you can’t see or know the power or
Loveliness that I am confounded by I am already at the greatest loss I can ever expect to  
Encounter then your lips move shaken I hope I don’t fall but I am falling into this vision dreams
Swirl a dance has begun ancient by ways cordially invite the maiden fills the air with electricity
As she moves with grace and profound turbulence she stirs and then as suddenly she grows
Quiet and still a flower has materialized a fragrance permeates hay fields golden rod musty
Swirls of smoke in old houses and the smell after a refreshing rain blends nothing less than the
Sacred has been penetrated then with boldness born out of the heart of a knight I with the
Boldest regard lean forward to touch them with mine the invitation is presented with the
Pronouncement of a keen order of respect and then one feels as he knows what first man felt  
When a luscious delightful berry was sweetly pressed for taste but in this case you add the
Vibrancy of a lovely creature to the equation the flow the essence the enormity of life a being
Of splendid quality and unutterable beauty are you breathless confused well to bad there is
More then she touches your skin a fire from cool fingers so contradictory what journeys ensue  
Rivers lands wealth paradise all of this bogs the mind it’s all because men for some reason are
So dense they never get what gift is presented to one degree it is mans own idea of himself and
His twisted conception robs him of what privilege is his when he looks on a woman I haven’t
Done justice to the subject but it will be theme throughout my writing

when i think of the word
beauty
i think of
the canvas of your skin painted with
every little freckle
every nostalgic bruise,
the galaxies inside your bones,
the celestial bodies glimmering in your eyes
your curving lips that hinted
a smile brighter than a multitude of stars
your voice softer
than the french crooners we listen to
every gloomy evening
when i think of the word
beauty
i think of no more but you
and the cosmos that hid under your skin
and how i am merely an wonderer
and you are an entire world to explore.

Ant people is what they are
    teeth clattering together
        out-coming  syllables of
        insensitive, insufferable nonsense
  Pinchers cleaning after a feed
Some revolting alien dialect

Smash them, then
        into the gravel
        back to the maze-caves of the Underworld
             the holes from which they jitter and twitch
  but then pause to stretch cold joints
    long, black armor-limbs
    blink blank eyes upon the new sun's light

They too bask in its rays, like I
        awakening the mind for another grind
        warming sleepy muscles to pursue crumbs of bread
Like I

So smash, no
        let them crunch and spit out uselessness
Just play instead an in-head voice-over
        a compilation of wonderer's revelations
Let them crawl, let them be
        slowly exoskeletons shed to flesh
        antenna's recede to shags of brown
           framing lively eyes
           pupils recognized as Human
                       Humane

Words are intent
        should be meant as the sun
           beams to progress the colony as one
We are the same

Ever the musical wonderer, he happened
upon the perfect pad it harmonics were
excellent for the voice he had.

Through the day he would sing, he would
try other locations. The shore, but the waves
would  splash out his unique sound.

Trees were a challenge specially for those
rather stubbly knees. But he jumped and
Sang an for his troubles a splinter he had.

Under water was a choose but sound was
but bubbles that rose above, not sound but
more like burps with a tune singing out.

He went to his spot, many had he tried so
long had he been gone from home to long.
The best spot for the acoustics choosing of his voice.

But too his sorrow it was gone, had it been taken?
moved away? he sang on the shore in moonlights
glare as tears interrupted his angelic serenade.

But it had heard his voice and from the depths it
raised, it had missed its companion gone all these
days, it slowly opened it took a night and day.

For when it was ready the frog jumped with joy,
not with a splash, not a belly display. He landed
gently on this pad and his music did play.

The flower did blossom at such a harmony,
and not of the usual colours, for each petal was a
moment of this frog unique beautiful sound.

I just need for the rain to start
It may be the only way to wash my heart
I’m melting here in this corrosive apartment
(This room cost far too much)
Apart is what is meant.
I’ve got questions spinning around in my head
like a hurricane uplifting nonsense to wound my sanity
Will love always break me?
Why does emptiness feel full?
How can “nothing” consume me?
Will there be flowers left after the storm?
Will there be someone to place them in my hair?
I don’t think it’s healthy to sit on this stool
surrounded by colorless mustard walls
How foolish of me to have lost my way
A way is all a wonderer needs
Away is where I need to be
What is it that took my pride
And my solidity, and my grace, and my height?
And my hands?
No, no more.
I just need for the rain to start
It’s the only way to wash my heart

Broken
He stole away through dark and cold streets just a wonderer no one noticed he fell from grace not even
A trace was found did not glory he hold unmapped the wilderness now his domain the dark twisted
Trees form his understanding he hears the creatures exceptionally well the man shifts from man to beast
It takes derangement to reorder a person of exceptional abilities to be a ruler who no one questions to a
Fool that no one sees is a great fall indeed now the clouded moon a sphere it transfixes his mind it alone
Seemingly his only kind friend he hides in the day from fear so the blessed warmth of the sun he never
Feels jumbled sentences string together they seem commanding but make no sense at all his hair has
Grown the crowning of madness eerily displayed he handles rocks and branches as they have fallen from
The sky he intently studies them to no avail they have no significance or meaning with a grunt and a
Growl he tosses them aside goes on about his wondering free thoughts streak through his mind he
Seems to see royal robes a throne how the delirium of the mind does mock he lies on the early morning
Dew arches upward with a howl of a beleaguered mind crying out for comprehension what altered
World realities he must view the most common objects divide morph into hideous ridiculous concepts
Delusional aspects loss reality given new birth in frontiers of destruction the total breakdown of the
Human structure along known lines all is ramped up and on a rampage what worth is this piece of
Human tragedy as worth as much as you and me this one described was none other than the known ruler
Of the world at that time he was being taught a fundamental lesson of who was actually in charge man or his
Creator so many of us have difficulty in having faith in the unseen some would say it’s insane just like
This man’s condition but listen to one we can at least see in part as ourselves King Nebuchadnezzar’s it
Says came to himself in the fields and his noblemen came and restored him to his kingdom his words
And views were forever changed it was no longer I the big it but it is God who rules through all
Generations it is He who should be worshiped if you’re in danger of going into eternal judgment and you
Just stroll along then you’re mad and you need to come to yourself and your noble ones as angels will
Come and restore you to all that which is yours that you now disallow by living a low life that is empty and
You hold to a disfigured reality that controls and will deliver you to the second death of the lake of fire
Go on post filth that degrades yourself and others but inwardly your soul’s cry is please come to yourself
If someone grabbed your child you would fight to the death to save them but they grab your soul for the purpose of you being destroyed with them because of their original sin and evil and you don’t lift a finger now that’s crazy