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MonkeyZazu Sep 2016
to what end will i repeat
past mistakes that make me weep
past regrets that take my best
to lay down and put to rest

to what degree will i pursue
that reassurance overdue
the reassurance that will never come
from you
or anyone

to what extent will i keep thinking
that we could've done it and you weren't faking
that you really wanted
it and me
to live forever after
advice: keep the past where it should be left - behind you.
MonkeyZazu Jul 2016
Ash lit eyes
Lost in cloud filled skies
Searching for an answer

Grieving in the chemicals
Looking for a miracle
Maybe a happily ever after

Smokey grey emotions
Insides still unwoven
To myself I cant be the actor

Head rushes past self
Slowly past everything else
Wish I was fading a little faster
  Feb 2016 MonkeyZazu
One last time
I had to look back
I had to have
My very last glance

She was my mother
And I loved her

I know
She fed me
I know she cared
I know sometimes
She wished I wasn't even there

We could hold the grudge
For as long as you seek
But Momma,
Aren't you supposed to love me?

I desire your blessings,
I yearn for your fondness,
Momma how can you not see?
Your daughter is not what you believe,

I have become a waste
Somebody's worst day
But you don't even bother
If I leave or if I stay
MonkeyZazu Feb 2016
my wisdom is wasted on you.
i share and share
and still you know not what to do.
when life's too much, you gaze and grieve
but be assured
leaves won't always be there to ease.
do not mistake yourself big
for you are truly little -
a weak resolve and your heart is so brittle.
you need to grow up and actually live
you need not only take, but actually give
stop trying not to be hurt and not hurt others
there's a balance in everything
and you need to find it, brother.
Higher self speaking down to the lower aspects of my being.
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