I skip that song again.
Too many memories still hang on the words,
the notes clang like old glass bottles
the woman with the red scarf tied to the oak tree,
they knock in the wind, fragile whiskey ghosts,
of times to sacred to be remembered now.
So I'll skip that song
till the bottle strings break,
and my someday-daughter asks
about the snowflake shards of glass
beneath the old oak tree.
I want to skip,
Skip around like the inner child in me,
Screams out asking for,
When ever things are bad,
Skipping around my issues,
Like people skipped around me,
I think about skipping out,
If all the bad things,
But what if I miss,
Because I was too busy,
the boy balances a basketball on his head outside his father’s bar. his mother is somewhere a girl set to play the moon in her school’s version of talent night. his sister is giving birth so calmly her midwife is a male blown away by the fact that it’s only her second time wearing the blindfold I wore to fish. his brother is in therapy to process the loss of others who think we’re gods when we smoke.
Shorter than me. About 5 feet and one measly inch. Grant it I'm only two measly inches.
But I'd hug her. Wrap my arms up and around her teeny shoulders and back around her small frame.
I'd hug her. Tight and close.
She is the smallest of the three of us. However, she's the oldest. She will be twenty tomorrow.
I'd hug her like the first time I left her as she went to her decorated dorm room for college.
I'd squeeze her. For as long as she would let me hold her.
At that time she had just wanted to be free. A few months later she cried to me about how she wished she was home, back in bed sleeping beside me the way we had spent most of the last two years.
I miss her. Oh, how I'd hug her.
Skipper. Petit and sad. She sometimes hates the hugs I give her.
My mom always says she is lucky. She needs someone as warm and loving as me.
I'd hold her, keep her there until I had to let her go. Or at least until she made me. Yet, I know she cried too as she walked away and we stood and watched.
I wish I spent more of my summer a long side her. I regret it and I'm sorry I didn't.
It may have been her last summer home.
I didn't even drive her to Colorado. She didn't mind. She was excited for her new life.
If I had spent my time with her I would have made her miss me. She would want to visit.
I'd hug her. My arms around her bony back. I'd hold her.
Keep her for my own. No one could touch her. No one could hurt her. Not even herself.
Summer breeze coasting through the trees
Wind chimes remind me
I've had better times
But here I am again
Because I can't sleep peacefully
Mary Jane hides the worst in me
As I shut my eyes,
I only see
Like the color of my soul
I was doing so well you see
But I had a crack in my shield
And the nightmares came back
I only had my screams to keep me company
3 hours, and one very hot shower later
And I'm back,
Contemplating life on the patio
Flicking a lighter
Letting the smoke seep
Back into my system
It's a vicious cycle
Recovering from memories
My nightmare waits for me back home
2 hours and 12 minutes away
I can't put it off any longer
Just thinking about him makes me anxious
And terribly sad
Because people who tell you they love you
Shouldn't hurt you
They shouldn't force and rip their way inside of you
Until everything burns
Make no mistake
Tears don't blur the violence
Soap never disinfects the shame of silence
I think I should be over it by now
Honestly, shit happens
People get raped every day
Anyone who tells you different is a liar
Or perhaps just blind
I don't need prayers
I don't need sympathy
I probably need a damn lobotomy
Or maybe just a clean slate
So I continue to breathe
One breath at a time
While my eyes gradually drift close
I am alive
But parts of me are dead
But even Wonder Woman needs a day off
© 2014 Peach
Skip came to the rescue
Damn Pennsylvania state troopers
No wallet for proof
Called Skip, 1am
He walked in the snow
Just to help drive us home
He didn't have to
But, he came to the rescue
Probably lost about 6 hours of sleep
But damn if he's not a good friend to keep
If only I could repay him in some way
Well, my only talent is poetry
So here's what I'll say...
Thank you Skip
So damn much
You went out of your way
It must have been tough
I'm not sure what else to do
Besides just saying thank you
For coming to my rescue!