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Schmucker Mar 2014
We don't see eye to eye much.
You got plenty of opinions.
You frustrate the hell out of me.
You tell me truth I don't like.
You feisty and you tell it like it is.
For the hell of it I like to tease you.
I want to spank your *** sometimes.
Not a brutal beating but a tap or two.
I do that I know I get my *** beat
by bro Swain and company.
Debating with you gets me going.
You **** me off when you right.
Admitting I like it when you right.
I can't get mad at you or stay mad
because you adorable like a kitten.
I feel cared about when you set me straight.
Betty Ponder you are like that last piece of
delicious pie my mom said I can't have when
I was a kid.
Schmucker Mar 2014
To the lady who thinks she's part fish or something.*
Yes I'm a rude *** ******* when I want to be.  
Is there truth in handles?
My handle is a play on my name AND I admit,
one of my all time favorite activities.
Why hit follow the Schmucker?
Not exactly seeking anyone lonely lady.
You spending hours mass producing poems
screams and shouts no life to me.
I go for women who have actually real lives.
Maybe you are a sea nymph luring men to death.
Hey maybe you sing seductively and you charming.
Maybe you a music instrument making notes and
maybe you full of steam.
Hell maybe you a eel type salamander with
permanent gills and no hind legs.
Seen a pic and a SMOKIN' anything?
Hell to the no! You not to me!
Schmucker Jan 2014
I asked that bear in Chicago if it was too cold.
Know what he said?
Only messing with you pretty gal.
Only insane folks think bears talk to them.
My point - It's freezing cold Betty Ponder.
I've got frozen car locks that wont open.
Poured water on them and water freezes.
Did you know lakes are freezing solid?
Dangerous roads day two of no work.
If a polar bear **** in the woods today
his **** would freeze.
IT IS too cold for polar bears.
Schmucker Dec 2013
Plenty of poems from broken hearts who got loved then dumped.
Women writing poems about wanting a man back after he ***** dogged her.
Don't take rocket scientist to know something wrong with that picture.
Clue to men who ain't going to stay put even if he put a ring on it.
He's flirting with everything in a skirt, He ain't attentive after he hit it,
You gotta be the one always calling, He don't call unless he wants to hit,
He gets defensive when you want to know why he wasn't where he said he'd be.
Those are signs he's c-h-e-a-t-i-n-g and so are the ones coming up.
You catch him in lies and he makes you think your losing it.
He closes window of his computer when you enter the room.
All his is password protected and he wont tell you his passwords.
He's getting and receiving text messages he wont let you read.
He leaves the room when he gets a  call.
If you answer his phone you get hang ups, phone rings until he answers.
He wont let you meet his friends or his family.
He starts arguments so you wont go with him when he leaves.
Men don't get ****** cause I'm ratting you out. Read one too many
heart break poems to be sorry for truth telling on my gender.
Men think about *** when they not having it.
If he don't want to hit it he's hitting it else where.
Coming up is ones to skip and avoid.  
You can skip the ones who look at your cleavage and not your eyes.
You can skip the ones who live with mamma.
If he wants you to hurry up and quit talking or makes you feel like you
can't do nothing right, skip him too ladies or you gonna be bawling your eyes out over him.
Schmucker Nov 2013
You asking can you still be my friend after I cheated on my wife? HELL NO!!
Why the hell should that surprise you dude with no freaking guilt?
Remove you or keep you as a facebook friend that's the question.
You goner dude!!! Your wife was a good woman lousy loser.
Why cheat on her when she was a good wife and mom to your kid dude?
Flirting with skankards on net tempted you with *** wet your appetite.
You crushed your freaking wife and she crying and wanting to die loser.
No need to tell you that you did this to her and broke her and she's sad.
How the hell could you expect me to be your friend after that?
You can take your friendship and shove it up your *** loser.
Lost me as a friend but will be there for you wife if she needs a friend loser.
I don't get cheating with or without kids being involved in the mess.
Cheating is cheating and if you married you sure as hell should not do it.
Schmucker Oct 2013
Keeping it short and sweet no kids by choice.
So tired of little kids specially teens
playacting at being grown ups.
That's end of poem
Not a poet and know it
but don't want kids and maybe never
after reading some of the poems
written by them
Schmucker Sep 2013
Ok what now I wrote a line
wrote two lines.
Not great poet!  
So doneza!

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