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anastasiad Nov 2016
Any person running a business requirements economical safes to maintain information coming from all income and also charges pertaining to tax purposes. Using a wide array of on the web services, transaction vendors, on the net banking institutions, items available and purchasers an internet entrepreneur must keep track of, great record-keeping as well as fiscal managing is vital. Thankfully, ones Mac pc will help you to try this.

In the past, Apple computer consumers obtained Speed up which was about it, and even QUicken insecure at some point or other to go away the Apple computer behind, resulting in a lot trepidation. These days, Macintosh people have an humiliation with wealth with regards to economical software, with the Apple pc, on the internet with the apple ipad tablet in addition to iphone 3gs.

The largest problem currently is just not getting a a nice income office manager program to trace someone's funds but to discover the right one from the huge selection choices accessible, each freeware plus private. Some of the options include Buddi, Spending budget, Burn off, Debtinator as well as iBank.

Nonetheless, Internet marketers have particular needs and requirements that needs to be loaded so care and attention must be consumed in deciding upon personal safes. The obvious way to select could be in the procedure for elimination. Many of the application attractions on offer are not necessarily directed at marketing experts.

Buddi is usually a simple financial boss it doesn't support internet banking as well as many budgets. Since its name indicates, Finances are aimed not at marketing experts yet those that would like to get their particular paying out manageable. Buxfer is definitely intended for keeping track of shared costs intended for sets of pals, room mates and also coworkersor model, who seem to paid what exactly portion of a provided dinner check. Debtinator Is principally for individuals who really need to get big debts at bay.

This leaves us all along with iBank and also Moneywell. Oh yes, Quicken as well as QuickBooks far too. And also different online or maybe "cloud-based" funding professionals.

iBank (IGG Software package -- $60)

iBank is definitely industrial software that lets you importance facts coming from Quicken, monitor your current looking at as well as price savings balances, cash along with credit cards as well as opportunities, direct-download info out of your bank, setup grouping hierarchies along with assign groups to all or any the dealings plus separated purchases to get in depth classification checking. Additionally, it gives detailed review creation, budgeting expenditure pursuing and information syncing using your apple iphone.

MoneyWell (Simply no Hunger Application LLC : $50)

Moneywell can be a private offer by using a powerful focus cost management. There is lead link up checking, bag having a budget, plus exchange and your money circulation control in a very organised, single eye-port user interface. It may possibly scan data delivered electronically from your traditional bank in QIF, CSV, OFX, and also QFX forms. It features a "Smart Fix" get back together aspect that endeavors to understand the most frequent blunders which take place when repairing your account, in addition to a operating balance function that allows exhaust and also drop trades in order to reorder these folks inside of a particular date in order to suit your financial institution sign-up. You'll find it has got iphone 4 incorporation.

There is certainly some other financial software package available for a Macintosh personal computer directed at people that present companies and wish for to carry out invoicing plus occasion keeping track of. iBiz 4 Enables you to control assignments, observe a person's billable hours, that will create invoices. ProfitTrain is definitely an invoicing program that allows you to cope with a number of businesses, keep track of a number of clientele who definitely have distinctive per hour costs, continue to keep steadiness bed sheets and also post quotes. Lewis means that you can keep track of time and expenses, accomplish invoicing, record delayed clientele as well as ship invoices.

On-line and also "cloud-based" providers include Buxfer along with Great.org (currently owned by Intuit). These kinds of possess the good thing about becoming totally free, at the least currently, though improve strategies are obtainable. They let you normally to help acquire dealings by debit card along with banking accounts, adding along with categorizing the orders, chart and stock chart to provide you with facts about your financial situation, plus an i phone slot that enables you to login and look at the dealings on the run.

http://www.passwordmanagers.net/resources/Archive-Password-Recovery-Tool-59.html archive password recovery tool
anastasiad Dec 2016
Consider some of the important attributes that will small and medium measured businesses consider when searching for document managers? It has to be safe and sound, successful, convenient to use plus multi-purpose, even though the ability to offer you a speedy returning about the purchase. Even so, most of all, the key function must be being able to become used to your unique requirements for each individual corporation.

In general, the particular scientific report associated with medium and small sort of companies (SMEs) is less than these involving more substantial size organizations, where the papers managing product is one simple device. Regarding SMEs, fraxel treatments continues to be 'widely unknown', even though it assures good profits within earnings.

A numbers confirm this specific to be a fact. A report made because of the Gartner Class signifies that records consume nearly 60% of paperwork here we are at employees, and also characterize nearly 45% of manual labor. Definitely, any time used on these kind of regimen and also ordinary responsibilities causes it to become difficult with regard to individuals in order to spend independently towards bringing in gain.

Small establishments are often a smaller amount passionate any time taking on doc management software, since they look at it as being a value as opposed to a great investment. Also, the socio-economic predicament potential customers most of these business men to imagine more details on tomorrow and less around the long-term potential. Mid-sized providers normally have a I personally.Testosterone. division which has a extra worldwide watch, in addition to functions the role connected with an inner systems professional, servicing the demands of each individual business enterprise component centrally. Consequently, these types of staff users are a great men and women to see by using in the process regarding using a whole new doc supervision technological innovation.

Innovate and also eliminate

In the existing situation, it is vital for businesses so that you can innovate. A good way involving achieving this is from skilled assistance, which will produce a point of view for any short for you to method foreseeable future. Most of all, it's going to display the corporation which owing to the report supervision system, the firm assets work extremely well inside a correct way.

Because of their portion, record technological innovation computer software establishments helps it to be the mission to indicate SMEs how forwards simply by aiding those to view doc administration less an obstacle, a possible technical challenge, or even to be a education problem for personnel. As a substitute, it ought to be considered a profitable business progress ability.

Each and every corporation have their perception of quantity are the excellent record managing application, contemplating its specific demands. Because of this it is absolutely essential intended for papers managers suppliers to adapt their solutions to your page for each firm.

In general

Unsurprisingly, it really is very important that this corporation re-think just what exactly its actual requirements usually are, as a way to find out what will be the ideal record managing program for the kids. Basically, we've got to define the requirements of each individual company with a unique time period, whilst simultaneously thinking about foreseeable future projections.

Having a perspective outlook plus concerning all organization techniques using their affiliated sectors in your mind is paramount to be able to figuring out exactly what technologies are right for every single business. That may be, seeing it an overall principle in addition to adding the organization staff while in the program implementation practice will make sure its success.

Obtaining analyzed the particular technological features regarding organizations supplying papers software, it is recommended that both parties possibly be adaptable, to create method for invention and also improvisation during the enactment process. At times, you may need alternative resources compared to supervision will often have planned.

Solve requires along with effective answers

Picking out the proper as well as a full record supervision solution is going to be an ideal advantage for the whole firm. Resolution vendors have to have an international perspective from the market circumstance as well as the unique desires of each firm. Furthermore, small and medium measured businesses don't have in-house expert consultancy, which means vendors have to be competent to supply these organizations exclusively what they need, put together with tech support plus routine maintenance tailored thus to their prerequisites.

A single solution that's becoming an solution to the cost-effective crisis intended for SMEs, will be the marriage connected with maintained communicating services. In reality, an investigation by way of talking to company IDC estimations this market to be aimed towards unified marketing and sales communications along with cooperation (You.Do.H.). Throughout the 2010-2015 interval, the particular data show the trend that'll be executed by simply medium and small scaled companies: freelancing methods in relation to unified plus collaborative marketing communications for a company, as opposed to managing these in-house, in that way lowering the cost of controlling and the actual system. Also, document control technology is adjusting to this innovative paradigm and file safes suppliers has decided to present their solutions and also document managers since 'cloud' solutions.


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Xavier Jan 2015
Caution you speak, I'm so sure of myself.

Low line cinema in my house.
Raiding my brain and running late for a train that doesn't even exist.
You can touch so much yet feel so little.  
It's things like this, unspoken words.
The ground beneath my feet shrinks every time we meet.
Sooner or later Imma lose it all and finally fall.
Right left up into your arm chair,
Sitting cozy with my tea.
Sort through memories and open safes with my code only in my head can you think the way I think.

In misty visions the wizard casts his spells.

In daily shadows you stay until the night time hides your evil eye.
By day the skyscraper looms in the smoke and sun and
     has a soul.
Prairie and valley, streets of the city, pour people into
     it and they mingle among its twenty floors and are
     poured out again back to the streets, prairies and
     valleys.
It is the men and women, boys and girls so poured in and
     out all day that give the building a soul of dreams
     and thoughts and memories.
(Dumped in the sea or fixed in a desert, who would care
     for the building or speak its name or ask a policeman
     the way to it?)

Elevators slide on their cables and tubes catch letters and
     parcels and iron pipes carry gas and water in and
     sewage out.
Wires climb with secrets, carry light and carry words,
     and tell terrors and profits and loves--curses of men
     grappling plans of business and questions of women
     in plots of love.

Hour by hour the caissons reach down to the rock of the
     earth and hold the building to a turning planet.
Hour by hour the girders play as ribs and reach out and
     hold together the stone walls and floors.

Hour by hour the hand of the mason and the stuff of the
     mortar clinch the pieces and parts to the shape an
     architect voted.
Hour by hour the sun and the rain, the air and the rust,
     and the press of time running into centuries, play
     on the building inside and out and use it.

Men who sunk the pilings and mixed the mortar are laid
     in graves where the wind whistles a wild song
     without words
And so are men who strung the wires and fixed the pipes
     and tubes and those who saw it rise floor by floor.
Souls of them all are here, even the hod carrier begging
     at back doors hundreds of miles away and the brick-
     layer who went to state's prison for shooting another
     man while drunk.
(One man fell from a girder and broke his neck at the
     end of a straight plunge--he is here--his soul has
     gone into the stones of the building.)

On the office doors from tier to tier--hundreds of names
     and each name standing for a face written across
     with a dead child, a passionate lover, a driving
     ambition for a million dollar business or a lobster's
     ease of life.

Behind the signs on the doors they work and the walls
     tell nothing from room to room.
Ten-dollar-a-week stenographers take letters from
     corporation officers, lawyers, efficiency engineers,
     and tons of letters go bundled from the building to all
     ends of the earth.
Smiles and tears of each office girl go into the soul of
     the building just the same as the master-men who
     rule the building.

Hands of clocks turn to noon hours and each floor
     empties its men and women who go away and eat
     and come back to work.
Toward the end of the afternoon all work slackens and
     all jobs go slower as the people feel day closing on
     them.
One by one the floors are emptied... The uniformed
     elevator men are gone. Pails clang... Scrubbers
     work, talking in foreign tongues. Broom and water
     and mop clean from the floors human dust and spit,
     and machine grime of the day.
Spelled in electric fire on the roof are words telling
     miles of houses and people where to buy a thing for
     money. The sign speaks till midnight.

Darkness on the hallways. Voices echo. Silence
     holds... Watchmen walk slow from floor to floor
     and try the doors. Revolvers bulge from their hip
     pockets... Steel safes stand in corners. Money
     is stacked in them.
A young watchman leans at a window and sees the lights
     of barges butting their way across a harbor, nets of
     red and white lanterns in a railroad yard, and a span
     of glooms splashed with lines of white and blurs of
     crosses and clusters over the sleeping city.
By night the skyscraper looms in the smoke and the stars
     and has a soul.
Trefild Jul 2023
one person said: "peace is nothing but illusion
all I want is retribution"
[from "Pure Power" by Zardonic]
that's something I can identify with, which is why
I decided to write this heap of lines
————————————————————————————————
on a shooting range in a boondock la[ɛ]nd
with gloves pU̲t on; sta[ɛ]nd
in front of an autocratic ruler chained
by his hands to two moola safes'
[greed]
handles looking way
like an old-fangled car directing wheel
[steering wheel]
have this die-hard fool restrained
so that he, more or less, is still
I'm not a scho[ɑ]lar who can wave
around a degree in the medics field
but it's obvi this high-hat dO̲U̲chebag's plagued
with megalomania in a neglected condition
but there's a dreadfully effectual treatment
and he'll get it like villains
quite a gruesome fate
is looming upon this power-befuddled ****
like darkened clouds that, beyo[ɑ]nd a doubt, are soon to rain
["dark end"]
like waveriders, he's go[ʌ]nna serve
["surf"]
as a punchbag for I'm in quite a mood to raze
gonna wI̲nd up as nada short
of a ****** loon today
like Battinson, clepe me Vengeance
but I'm more something like the Zorro-looking caped
anti-autocratic vigila[ɛ]nte
from the Norsefire-ruled UK
[V from "V For Vendetta"]
meets someone whose work field's tormenting
like victimizers who pertain
to LE in one tsar-sized off-putting state
[law enforcement]
you know, the one that's go[ɑ]t a putrid trait
of always posing as a side you shouldn't blame (it's all the West!)
(now, let's go back to the foul autocrat)
like a jerky boss that you disdain
I give this no[ɑ]b a cool g'day
by douching him from a bo[ɑ]ttle full of straight-
-fro[ʌ]m-a-cooler H2O; just a fE̲w secs break
for him, & once it's U̲p, I ****** this base
being fro[ʌ]m a stE̲wpot great
with **[ɑ]t-a## noodles aimed
into this hU̲mbug's stupid face
[the "hang noodles on the ears" expression]
pepper it with some ground 7-po[ɑ]t to boost the taste
feel how I, like a husband who betrayed
his devoted, yet testy, wife, get rudely gazed
at, racked, beda[ɛ]mned (by who?)
by food-lacking men from Africla[ɛ]nd
[Africa]
ask him: "is the provided food okay?"
zero gratitU̲de displayed
all that comes from this sno[ɑ]t's bazoo's complaint
but nO̲[ɑ]t that I'm surprised
a typical pro[ɑ]sperous gobshite
the tack priorly applied
I do the same with a bucket full of maroonish paint
[autocrats have blood on their hands, hence "maroonish paint"]
like that music producer famed for dull future bass
I put on his viscous head a **** bucket
[Marshmello]
whereafter pick a wedge up & drum it
[golf wedge]
and, like a heap, I barely get started
[worn-out car]
like an unprepped passenger on an insane car ride
with no seat restraints applied
he's about to have a way hard time
I'm a cosmetic surgeon that operates part-time
fix his blamed jawline in just twain sharp swipes
with a steel bat, then yield some keen slaps
that meet his kneecaps until the knees snap
like the Baba Yaga hitman detached
from his peaceful life by someone ge[ɪ]tting him mad
[John Wick]
get his nails removed
which is pretty much the same that you do
when you repaper a room
[wall nails]
having perforated his fingertips
I ge[ɪ]t 'em plastered
a few minutes later, I rip them things
off 'kin/sim. to wax strips
he gets his phA̲[eɪ]lanxes smitten with
a freaking ratchet
[rathet wrench]
pro[ɑ]b'ly, he regrets
that his bo[ɑ]dy's still not dead
pick U̲p a pistol, set
a drum-like clip in, get
it cocked, then shoot lead around his silhouette
till the clip has zero ammunition left
seems like this once co[ɑ]cky piece of dreck
has gotten his khaki chinos wet
but if I've go[ɑ]t him in a sweat
like a summer jo[ɑ]gger being dressed
in venthole-deficient threads
for this brash dude, there's bad news
like me when I write some sick bloodshed
sadly for him, I've not finished yet (uh-uh)
like a runner that's go[ɑ]t some distance left
to complete, & it's not as dark as things can get
'cause, like the heroine o[ʌ]f M. Streep in "Death
Becomes Her" after falling fro[ʌ]m that string of steps
I've got a somewhat twisted head
[Madeline Ashton; the staircase fall scene]
so consider this as an insult-to-inju[—]ry sesh
grab a brace of scissors
for garden mainte[—]nance; Richard
Trager comes into play; begin ta
amputate his fingers; operate at leisure
disarticulate 'em I̲nto twenty eight **** pieces
cauterizing the remains with illuminated cI̲gars
fling into his piggish face some tissues
and some pain relievers
tell this nazissistic patient "hE̲A̲l up"
["****" in the sense of being "severely intolerant or dictatorial"]
let him relax for eighteen minutes
over the spa[ɛ]n of whI̲ch I put on play "La Chica
Rockabilly" & some other ro[ɑ]ckabilly
jams to make the whole vibe a mite less grisly
like an NA brown bear that is gravely injured
["mightless grizzly"; North American]
(as, in fact, this tragic-fated bleeder)
whereafter spray him with a
["wither"]
can of gas & make his dicta—
—torial a## go ablaze akin ta
a straw-fabricated figure
during gala days at the late of winter
[Maslenitsa effigy]
telling this piece of trash "in case you wI̲[ɪ]nd up
in somewhat of Hades, give a
warm shalom to the infamous ******"
consider this autocratic ****
a sugar daddy's skirt
'cause he's gotten what he was asking for
————————————————————————————————
oh, & one thing more to say: the
nullified, like ruler's presiding terms, dictator
was known among some as "toilet sprayer"
like a scuttered urinator
"punishment of an autocrat" by TREF1LD (TRFLD) is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (to view a copy of this license, visit creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0)
DaSH the Hopeful Jul 2014
Taking a new direction
I watched you burn
I turned from you
Natural selection exists even in love
Especially in love
In symbolism you were a dove
But doves are but mortal
They die,
And olive branches drop from their beaks as they cease to fly
Its funny.
I always wanted a piece of you but never knew why.
I think I knew I was too weak
So I would take a section of your heart when we parted ways
I still have it locked away to this day
In the most personal of safes
I think its why I still feel your kiss in the rain
It doesn't stop the pain
But it makes me feel again babe
So im giving you thanks
At your grave as you burn into pages
And on the paper youve become
Still as white as the dove you were
I draw you a map to the piece of your heart I took
Its in the spot of the piece of mine you still have
You just have to look
Lydia May 2018
1.
Let's install some fail-safes
You have to convince yourself that this is really what you want
If you aren't gay, pretend you are
If you are gay, pretend you're not
I guarantee you will not fall in love

2.
Pick the sweetest person
Someone your parents will approve of
Someone who is so perfect for you that you just don't understand why you're sitting alone right now
If you're not voted cutest couple for the yearbook, you can't possibly be in love, right?
Too many people are watching

3.
Try to love them
Try to give yourself a textbook relationship
Go on dinner dates
And watch scary movies so you can cuddle up together
Argue about why you should definitely pay "because it's romantic"
Blow out the candle when she's not looking

4.
Stop taking off work on Friday nights
It was never going to work, anyway, so why bother getting attached?
When you realize that they love you,
And you are still sitting there alone, that's when your heart breaks
When you realize you can walk away and be unchanged
Because how could you possibly walk away from two entire years with another human being and not feel something
Your heart's going to break anyway, just because it didn't.
Please comment :)
James Davis Sep 2013
Speak with passion, never live a life of God with any fear
14 years is a fortnight of tears,
I go to sleep, just to see if your image still appears
My disassociation of my peers
Changed my way, but got stuck in my gears
If the ending is near, I die with no fears
The pain inside is a guiding light
I grip to every secret insecurities with all my might
Just to be judged by man that I'm not living right
My critics are angels in the light but devils in the musk of the night
I believe true vision doesn't come from just from our eyesight
I just love the thought of living more than if I'm going to die tonight
A man dies inside if he has no work, you can cut down the tree, but the roots are still in the dirt
Although, my father, your body rest easy in the midst of this earth
My success is only the trickle from the top of the product of your work.
Never see a limitation, only imagine the celebration
Conscience ******* of the mind of a people who were ostracized by our own nation
Memories of our time, often leaves my young mind so vacant
So I get on my knees, and thank God that you made him
I didn't know back then how precious is each day
From a sharecropper to a degree to from Penn State, life is only a code if you know how to crack safes.
One life you get, I promise I'll never waste it
Your no longer here, but thank you God that you made him.  
Rest in peace, Mason Land Sr. The greatest grandfather a man could ever pray for.
DM Aug 2015
Taking a new direction
I watched you burn
I turned from you
Natural selection exists even in love
Especially in love
In symbolism you were a dove
But doves are but mortal
They die,
And olive branches drop from their beaks as they cease to fly
It's funny.
I always wanted a piece of you but never knew why.
I think I knew I was too weak
So I would take a section of your heart when we parted ways
I still have it locked away to this day
In the most personal of safes
I think its why I still feel your kiss in the rain
It doesn't stop the pain
But it makes me feel again babe
So I'm giving you thanks
At your grave as you burn into pages
And on the paper you've become
Still as white as the dove you were
I draw you a map to the piece of your heart I took
Its in the spot of the piece of mine you still have
You just have to look


I got this fire that burns
Especially for you
When I can see you and hear you
My insides melt
Like nothing I've ever felt
It burns so good
Better than it should
I shouldn't be able to handle this heat
But for you babe,
I could handle anything
I'll never retreat
Never back down
Cause with you
I'm finally standing on solid ground
And I have looked,
At that spot where my heart was that you took
A piece of yours fits in there quite nicely
I think I've always had a little part
Of your beautifully broken heart
And I know you've had mine
For quite some time
Cause I've given you the key
You have the ultimate power over me
In retrospect, you've always had me
Maybe you didn't know it
But it seems to me
That fate has finally taken a turn
Given us the chance to live, love and watch it all burn.
anastasiad Feb 2017
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Critter Khan Nov 2011
As the crow drowns
Insidious profound friend
End of candor
End of the end
Rose roots and runic worm trails
Fail-safes left unattended  
Unmended vain tatters
What matters?
What truly matters?
Dreams of red in ribbons
Seething bloodlust and dead intent
No rest for the wrested
I B Liviu Nov 2013
Velvet drops of smoky mirrors,
Soothing clouds in endless skies,
Fill my heart with warmth and shivers,
Joy and love like one it ties,

Sweet and sour, crisp or smooth,
Dropping by or running down,
Liquid safes that hold the truth,
As the walls surround the town,

Diamond curtains tie around,
See-through walls of melted mirrors,
Up side down I feel it bound,
To the sea and all its sailors,

Floating castles in the wind,
Ghostly dreams that come to be,
Huf and puf and they will swing,
Like the branches of a tree.
Mitchell Mar 2012
Flaming vortex cast iron heart
Breaking open the spheres of news
Thin as a rail where we balance
Making the rain howl singing that
Gutter roll through streets painted in
Black tar mud. Hear that rain, hear the
Rain, hear this sound pounding away
And away during these summer days

Vessel crafted skin peels from fire pits
Drenched in black dying tradition
On the cross the christening of the one who
Paid for us all to play the game winces
As the sun - ensnared in the blue sky like a
Marlin out of the Pacific - makes its way
To a shore dressed in fishermen, basket
weavers; lovers who say they have never loved
Like this before, lying through the hems of
Their blouses and trousers

Heaven is full, they have issued out all the
Tickets, the gates have closed and even the
One's never sinning are left out in the cold
Without a jacket or umbrella. Compliments
tossed into those cloudy gutters, demons
Whispering that there is always more room
In hell - the demons are right

Canary crest wrinkles as the running wife
Takes her bike out for a mid-afternoon ride.
The blonde in her hair shows that she's
Scared, and where the guitar man plays, he
Writes a lyric in of how spellbound dreams
Can make a good man bad and how the
Blonde's who get away are replaced only
With misery and regret and shameful acts of
Drunken nights, harder mornings, lonelier afternoons

It is where the difference in the light that
Makes my eyes slight and my hands tremble
Not knowing if the end result is going to be alright.
When I speak from here, at the table all alone, my
Bones crunch inside of me like the cavemen round'
Here that once roamed free. There is something in
The air that makes my lungs shrink and my mind think.
Somewhere in this ****** city there is a life force
Invisible to us all. The battle was dying in a vine of
Life only the wine would be able to fix, and all this
Sickness that comes forth from this typing makes
The writhing worm that is me, calm down a little,
Making these thoughts not so jagged and brittle

The effort from the ringing bell toll shows
That the stones that built us can also be torn
Down. The stream, though long and at times
a mysterious, punishes the heart when one seeks to
Form facts from where there are none. And speaking
When not spoken to forces the corner of my mouths
To break like the ice of a coming storm, arctic like
Snow madness mincing your skin to shreds as
The bread in the box has gone off and gotten wed

Candle light adhere to the voice within yourself. In
Souls we capture the only willing part of us left. When
Whispers leak through lined wall, remember the
Crush that never sparked, that did not escape and
Never began. Lakes were once dried up, but they
Will one day be filled again so the trout in their
Waters can swim and the leaves from the trees may
drift down onto their waters in the Fall, slowly
swimming towards torrent, gently crashing, frothing
White and shimmering with the crisp Autumn sun above.

Who is the wicked messenger, robed in nothing
But secrets, yet no lies. Who opens safes without
A pick and refines a structure that no man or woman
Would aim to fix? Where are our heroes now? Where
Are the martyrs and their pamphlets showing false
Worth and reason for sacrificing instead of living?
Where are we all when the clock strikes midnight and
There is no bed to sleep in because they are all on fire.
Where is our government, bound and gagged behind
Closed door, door after door with the doorknob missing
And the peephole blinded by melted wax. Where
Are our originals, or beginners, and our revolutionaries?
Where is the fight and where is the enemies white flag?
Why do mothers and fathers hide their face behind
Plastic mask? Why are questions able to life half of
What one seeks? Why can it not absolve it all?

Tired and incomplete
The butcher's
Pack up
Their meat

Each new day I
See the brown fields
And the
Brilliant morning sun

To see such
Sights allows me
To believe that to live
Once

Is quite
Enough
me Jan 2020
sometimes, i miss being sick.

i miss the feeling of my sharp ankles on the cold scale. the scale has been hidden from my judgemental eyes.

i miss the automatic caloric calculator, the blinding neon-sign. it's still there, always and impossible to ignore, like television subtitles. but i eat anyway.

i miss the feeling of my jeans becoming baggier around pencil legs. yesterday i had to go to american eagle to buy the same pair of ripped jeans, two sizes larger than what i was a year ago.

i miss the blue polka-dot Tupperware in the farthest corner of my closet that i used to erase the shame of feeling full. i can't have containers anywhere in my bedroom.

i miss the feeling of drinking so much water that my body becomes a shallow pool that my insides float in. i have a limit on the amount of fluids i can consume in a day.

i miss walking into a meal knowing exactly how to eliminate all of it, without question. now when i do behaviors i feel the shame of my whole family in my chest.

i miss karaoke nights. i can't sing any of the songs i did in the hospital. it just feels wrong.

i miss sitting in a circle of other sick girls and forgetting, for a moment. they're in different places all over the world, enjoying life as recovered anorexics.

i miss staying up late talking to my roommate and questioning whether recovery is worth it, or even possible. she's in california with her girlfriend, enjoying being alive.

i miss licking salt of ice cubes. everything is locked into safes.

but mostly, i miss you. you're gone.

.
gah this poem kinda ***** but jesus Christ i need to put this somewhere i have so much GUILT about missing my ED but god ******* ****** i really want to relapse.
Marium Iqbal Nov 2014
Society, the town
People, the house
Everyone sees what lies outside  
The flowers in the garden
The toys that scatter our yard
The white picket fences that border, just on the edge of society
However,we let them inside
We let them in eventually
As we show them who we are
The paint that colors our walls
The books that lie on our shelves
The songs that are constantly playing
On the rate occasion we let someone in
They get a very slight glance of our deepest thought
Our deepest thoughts, the ones kept hidden behind the heaviest of safes
The deepest thoughts that never witness the light of day
The thoughts kept hidden under lock and key
Molly Mar 2015
His tales of a place he once called home, now reduced to ruins and smolder, carry a weight he has become accustomed to straining the muscles of his back against. He keeps postcards in his wallet, folded and creased in the center to the point of perforation, pulls them out when he is homesick or when anyone asks about his origins, always tucks them back into the pocket with more spite than he cares to portray. Most observers simply nod their head, "how beautiful it is," –was– "you're lucky to have been a part of it." He smiles, the genuine kind of smile that takes precise attention to detail and years of practice to counterfeit, says "I know." Some bold and curious or ignorant and inconsiderate listeners poke their furrowed brows into his upturned palms, ask him, "did you see the fire?" They want to know –must know– if he could smell the smoke from the next town over, if he could see the sky illuminated in the distance, the red hue seeping into the blue-black night, they want to know how big it was, a house fire or a holocaust, if he tried to put it out or if he stood idle, looked for faces in the flames, if it left anything but charred floorboards and fireproof safes, the combinations written on scraps of paper now insignificant. You can see him fuming from across the room, his face illuminated, the red hue dripping down his neck, his voice becomes victim, tries to keep it steady but you can see losses on his tongue, he trails off into silence, leaves nothing but stubbed toes and sentiments, "I'm sorry I asked." When he talks about the people he knows –knew– there, he always starts with a chuckle, a little grin as if something had just reminded him of them, they were all kids back then, his eyes turn child again while he talks about how they played in the storm drains and then he snaps them shut, remembers the cigarette butts, remembers the lighters they bought at the drug store, how they had loved to see things burn until they couldn't stop it. He talks about this place he used to call home, doesn't know what to call it anymore.
Got Guanxi Jan 2016
what you got in your pockets?

Reveal yourself with an object,
let the subtext talk in a million ways.
What you got hiding,
and what does it say?

What you
keep
close,
exposes
emotion.

Your devotion to the object chosen,
is outspoken in a delicate gaze.

Theres a million ways you can spend that minimum wage,
Or a rainy day,
is just a rain
drop away.

And you could save me from the cold with your ignorance.

And i could pickpocket your soul in the holes of  indifference.

But,
What’s the difference anyway.
Keep safe on your daily ways
keep safes, keeps the evil away;

I’ll keep you in my pocket until laundry day,
forget about you'
watching the world go round in bubbles and soap screens.

We got the same jeans (genes),
baby,
We got the same dreams,
baby.
Soap.
Apologies.

Roll over and take pictures of me.

Roll over and feel a fork in my neck.

Oh so this is morning.

I'll eat you raw.

I love you too.

Basking within the sticks and stones.

Salon.

After the saline.
Now how does that sound?

I want you to follow.
Blindly.

Watch the moth's escape.
A twist of a doorknob.

But we watch.

I grit my teeth. Explain to you these are burns and wound marks.

One or the other and I discover.

Explain to you it needn't be thy way

Ate quickly and explained quicker.

Setting things on the ground is a tricky dive.

One sees the water. And the water sees it again.

So break it. And destroy your poise.

Waiting waiting and laying under the stars with two eyes.

My one and my other.

See now?

See I've grown.

Sleeping in safes. Becoming responsible to avoid the count of clicks and the flicks of wrists.

Speaking of...

Speaking out loud.

Speaking alone I guess.

I'll watch my cigarette disappear and hope a clone is born.

Now. Now now now.

Everyone's dead.

He said he watched the stars watch over you.

Stammering but now pointing.

Stars fall. And even that became an example of me doing wrong.

Is this silence?

Don't hold your breath baby. Use it because there is that chemical I'm lacking from you.

Is this silence?

No it is me just being alone.

We don't do this or that and when we do, it becomes that it wasn't this or that.
Tragedy Written on my birthday this year. Oct 20th for those who don't know.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2015
i hate exclusive writing websites, it feels more about eyeing a clock of readers and favourites and keep safes than anything to do with progress; also the stuff that gets the worthwhile attention for a digestive system inquiring about an alt. diet is, in fact: well, some write for waitresses and bartenders, those who like language just as it is... obediently, instruction manual of a narrative, the: "it will never happen to me so i can feel cosy;" but some hate the way language is crafted for reason as mentioned prior: and bypass the waitresses and bartenders for a nitrogen meal with a whiskey sour.

ever play shadow ching chang wollah?
you loose the paper stone and scissors,
and you end up
imagining you're on the long haul
of drugs doing a 12h acid ******,
not the mile high business class
of a 15minute ******* quickie,
you're next to the ****** teenagers
drinking away as the marathon man,
anyway, with this shadow ching chang wolah,
you loose the paper stone and scissors
on the jesse james draw;
what you get is a creepy spider,
a parkinson's flashlight dropped in a ghost
house reminiscent of a heartbeat,
a rabbit, that old classic,
and the laughed at crescendo of a crow
using two hands! messerschmitt the hands do!

or like i end every arguments with my father: father, you're a brilliant exponent of bad faith, brimming-full with negations, but i rather your bad faith than the anti-existentialist cartesian good faith with pascal's twinkle: brimming-full with contradictions due to the coupling of thought to doubt; and i'm old enough to read these old leather chair **** books for a wrinkles' worth of tear, otherwise why would we send these idiots en-route 180º from the sciences and productivity? it's interesting this, the post-cartesian experiment: but it makes people annoying, i deny, therefore i think, makes it great to boil an egg and not think of a better solipsism. but i laugh it off: i could have been a proper drug dealer for psychiatrists, but i ended up being a proper theory synthesiser. but you know that denial breeds no faith as doubt does, well it does, faith-in-itself, which makes the self a keener protagonist, which is not really beneficial to slump and ride two thousand kilometres at four miles per hour.
Torin Sep 2016
We act like it's our life
Everyday
We become less human everyday

We know what we're taught

We act like it's our life
And empty hands and empty ends
And empty goals
And emptiness

We hear what we're told

We act like it's our love
Everyday
We become less human everyday

We do as we must

We act like it's our life
And empty coffers and empty safes
And empty pockets
And emptiness

We act like it's our truth
Everyday
We become less human everyday

And if you could never die for it
You would never live
A look Un regard
I keep receiving Je recois

two in the 2 dans ma poitrine
chest

rapists violeurs

have invented ont invente

new ways de nouvelles facons

of being d'etne assassines
murdered

I hope they J'espere qu'ils ouvrent

open their leur

gun safes coffres d'amunition

or hang ou pende
translated for free in a mental health ward by a french woman
aurora kastanias Jul 2017
Whenever I allow myself to think of love, my mind runs
To the chambers where secret memories are stored,
In sealed chests, on high unreachable shelves, deterring me
From opening, dreaded Pandora boxes, stripped of hope.

Yet sometimes the endeavour to reminisce overwhelming
Feelings I struggle to repress, commands me to climb the stairs,
Unclose the safes of the unspoken, as I forbid tears
From pouring, out of clouded eyes, still loving.

You are there, with your roguish smile, chivalric deportment,
Statuesque poise, Michelangelo’s David, I compared, giddily
Gazing at your tragic features as if you were, the one
And only whom I could ever love, desire, crave, forgive.

Suddenly though not unexpectedly, intrudes the scolding guardian
Of remembrances, treating me as an impostor in my own mind,
A thief of frames concealed, yelling at me as you used to, reminding me
Of reality, your swinging lunatic humours, mercilessly lashing me with words.

Scars time will never heal, they lie when they say it will,
It has no power over what we were, nor can it erase even the slightest
Faintest flare of what we felt. Whenever I allow myself to think of love,
I still think of you, but that’s the maximum I consent to do.
m Jan 2018
there is something so tragic about a blank face and a ***** mirror. about 3 a.m eyes and our own fingers, mapping the parts of us we hate. there is something so damaging about resurfacing old ideas while juggling target practice with the wooden box kept bundled under piles of wrinkled clothes, stowed away in our dressers like safes, holding sharp things we would never touch on other days.

how can one relearn the idea of sleep?

because melatonin only worked once and benzodiazepines only kept us asleep long enough to dream about the bad things we avoided falling asleep for.

3 a.m feels like dry eyes and grown-out nails, bitten down until brittle. 3 a.m feels like a bed we are too afraid to crawl into and our own eyes we are too afraid to stare at. 3 a.m feels like a cold, creaking tiled floor, muffled from our fragile steps we took over it.

3 a.m feels like fear and sounds like the repeated notion of grinding teeth instead destroyed skin.

i keep studying the stain on the ceiling as though it were a separate universe. I keep willing it to take me away. outside, it's raining, without leaving a sound or smell behind, just flooded window wells and a distant ringing in my ears.

& praying used to be words i sung inside my head as though they could sing me towards some kind of promised refuge, but they never offered me anything except more of what i was already left with -

fear, constant fear, that things don't change, they just reshape themselves into shadows, into 3 a.m night lights and closed mouths that never stopped trembling.
someone teach me how to sleep
nivek Apr 2017
One minute to midnight
all the InterContinental's are fuelled

fingers hover over the switch
palms are sweating

all the safes are opened
the codes confirmed

But the only time we will know of it
is when death falls from the sky.
Yenson Jul 2021
Our ancestors owned plantations
and had owned hundreds
they had ocean cruising vessels
and stocks and liveries
worth millions in city banks and safes
now we are reduced
shamed disgraced and humbled for
reds are not the new black
and fashion has changed from flouncy drills
to distressed pale genes
all stained threadbare torn raggedly and faded
like pages from old history books
satire....
Big Virge Sep 2021
Folks My Wordplay Is Balanced...

So My Practise Be Cracking...
More Cases Than Banquets...
And Keeps Safes From Crackers... !!!

It Has Flavour Like Crackling...
On Baking Trays Catching...
Heat That Completes...
Making My Verse Taste Sweet... !!!

My Den’s Just Like Dragons...
Whose Fire Just Flattens...
And Lyrically Batters...
Cats Into Fragments...
When My Verse Gets Cracking... !!!

Cos’ That’s Right...
I’m Like KRACKENS'... !!!

TITANICALLY SMASHING... !!!

Worlds Just Like Captains...
Whose Actions Were Fascist...
Like Columbus Type Captors... !!!

I... DESTROY Slave Masters...
And Leave Their Plans Shattered... !!!

Like Matter That Rattles...
Like Snakes That Are Angered... !!!

My Brain Matter Factors...
A World of Verse Captured...
In... Poetic Chapters...

JURASSIC Like Raptors...
When They're Called To Action...
And Quick To Be Blasting...
These Secretive Factions... !!!

My Verse Gives Out Lashings...
Like Whips That Be Cracking...
Because I’m NO Lion...
Whose Circus Compliant... !!!

I Be Cracking Defiance...
To Modern Day Tyrants... !!!

Cos My Words Are Too Vibrant...
To Ever Stay... Silent... !!!

When It Comes To The Violence...
That’s NOT The Sweet Science...
That’s Used By Great Fighters... !!!

I Be Cracking Like Tyson...
BEFORE That Ear Biting... !!!

Cos I Crack Like Evander...
So Don’t Ever Pander...
To Fake Propaganda... !!!

So Yes I Be CRACKING...
Those Heads With Light Skins...
Who Like To Be Talking...
On... How Melanin...
Makes Those With Dark Skins...
Be Those Seen As KINGS...
Because They’re Telling Fibs... !!!

So Trust These Lyrics...
I Be Cracking Like This... !!!

So Don’t Try To Slander...
My Poetic Stanzas...

Unless You Want Grammar...
That Cages Like Slammers...
Who DON’T Get It Cracking...
Like Michael Jack Dancing... !!!

That's Right I’m Grand Standing...
Like Cat Walks of Fashion...
And Bruce When He’s Acting...

Cos’ I’m READY For Actions...
That Leave Minds COLLAPSING...

Because of The Ways...
My Wordplay DISPLAYS...
How I Use My Brain...
In Ways That AMAZE... !!!

I Be Cracking Domains...
Where Trolls Choose To Play...
Their... INFANTILE Games... !!!

I Be Cracking Away...
Without Twelve Years Or Slaves...
Cos My Way Is Self Paved...
To Create Like A Sage...
Or MARVELLOUS Names...
To Gain Myself Fame...

My Game Is So Tight...
That It Needs NO Spotlights...
To Define Just How Bright...

... My Mind Really Is... !!!

It’s Equipped To Write Scripts...
That Get Cracking Like This...
Set of Lyrics I’ve Flipped...

I’m TITANIC Like SHIPS...
That Uh UH... Do NOT Sink... !!!

So DON’T Need A WINSLET....
Or Actor Who’s... Slick... !!!

Cos I’m Just TOO LEGIT...
To Get Caught By Some Gimp...
Or Some Redneck Racist... !!!

Yes These Words Are A Trip...
That Employ Movie Flicks...

And Box Office SMASHES... !!!

But I DON’T Need Backing...
Because What I’m Packing...
Is... Lyrical MAGIC... !!!
As Well As A PATENT...
That’s Big Virge’s TALENT... !!!

I’m KILLING This Passage... !!!
WITHOUT Noise Or Static...
Or.... ANIMATED Rabbits... !!!

Because I Have Managed...
To YES... Kick The Habit...
of Acting... ALL MANIC...

So There’s NO Need To Panic...
Or Be Harrison FRANTIC... !!!

I’m Just Here Relaxing...
And Maxing While Tracking...
The Way That My Mind...
And My Pen Be... Just......

......... “ CRACKING “...... !!!!
Poetically speaking, I really do be....
Joseph Zenieh Aug 2019
WHAT  IS  IT ?
Joy is what you seek in  life.
It's imagined you can find
in success or through a job
that can fill your money bag.

Safes and pockets are filled with
what is called some untold wealth.
Glorious terms are poured on you,
but your goal is out of view.

Inner voice is heard aloud,
"There is something more profoud.
You can't touch with hand but feel
it's endowed to make you grand.

"Once you get it, you feel life's
cheerful with no death to spoil.
You love all, creatures and beings.
Nothing your clear blood can roil."
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
____________
Tom Shields Aug 2020
Striped to the nines
these cats carry pig stickers
animal kingdom death comes quicker
shoeshine, no sunshine, grease ain’t slicker
chalked out in lines
lead bellies line mines
outlaws make laws, break jaws
drop jaws, buy cars, bank rob
live like all-stars, a full-time job
all-grime, an all-crime job
a romantic era of terror
splashy ink does injustice
while they sidle Fords with Thompsons
every John a Dillinger, every Romeo a Clyde
everybody comes to terms with hunger and iron
everybody comes to town either starry or steely eyed
they leave or stay forever, never rich enough to justify why these are the streets they had to die on
it ain’t pretty
black eyed beauties and black tied beaus
lies as easy as blood when the liquor flows
guns and love and money, everybody knows
it’s all business, question contracts and the details get gritty
you can get in clean
but you have to get your hands ***** in this city.


A blues musician blew through the nightclubs with his sound
the rhythm of struggle, poetry and soul come alive
one with his voice, his guitar, singing of how he strived
to make it to the bright lights, he thought it was a miracle he survived
songs of Southland and heartache, the sounds of a segregated culture thriving above ground
what scratch he could collect
he would make if he had to play until he broke his guitar’s neck
wise enough to only accept cash up front, no checks
he was not ashamed of a spotlight
a bluesman can’t be afraid
he tore down the house six nights
and on Sunday he prayed
when he heard his music on the radio, riffs and lyrics ripped and splayed
the mournful soul, howling moon, woeful pontifications and rhythms all butchered onto a premier
a darker, sadder set of eyes than he had ever seen fell back on him from his own rearview mirror
outside of a studio, champagne bottles broken on his back for white rock and roll
at some hour when the sun was too far to imagine rising
he found himself peering over the edge of a darkness in his soul
and the liberating relief was frightening, he wanted to force it to feel surprising
a brown neck and a half ago he traded his first guitar, offered to sign it, too
pawnbroker bought it off him for a bill or two, said “Why, who are you?”
He swapped for a pistol under-the-counter and the bullets
bought a couple bottles of liquid encouragement to help him think it through
he drove out to the record label where the thief was lauded on the air
sitting is his car with his last guitar, barrel scratching his head, parting his hair
he was half-awake, about to leave when he saw four people walking out of there
a quick release, trigger, clutch and gas, the conspirators who stole his soul collapsed,
he drove into town to sell it back one piece at a time just as fast.


Putty in palms
men melt in her gaze
Medusa couldn’t ****** a man as easily
Penny flies with fancy and never stays
she was the high school sweetheart, girl next door,
to the star quarterback, to the class president, who fought viciously over her
who were sidetracked brawling while she was romanced by promises of city life
which swept her off the suburban sidewalk, and deposited her in a diner
where a man would come to blows over her, promising to make her his wife
she led men to collide with one another, they called her the Lucky Penny
she loved the attention, flirtatious eye-batting and men being reduced to fools
it was nothing shy of flattery, her chest felt empty without superficial value
and what is a better showing of what you’re worth than what someone else is willing to do to someone else to keep you?
She never really cared beyond the surface for any of them at all,
until, of course, she was ensnared herself by becoming a moll
Penny would only go steady with someone as beautiful as she was,
this invited trouble to her diner, because
a pretty-boy gangster oversaw collections in the area, just as handsome, just as clean
every bit as petty as Penny, twice as angry, twice as spiteful, and twice as mean
he carried a switchblade knife, a jackboot blade, he would love an excuse to cut ribbons out of skin
he had the sharps in spades, sharp wits, looks, angles, and cuts, when they met Penny was already done in
pretty boy promised her the moon, gave her a pad, he made sure she stayed living in the lap of luxury as long as it was his lap, and she’d never step out of line after the first time he got mad
she was number three in a marriage, in over her head and scared for her life
Penny, the apple of every man’s eye, a prisoner, mistress, and second to a mafia wife.

Ruthless killers aren’t these snarling giants
they’re scrawny, little, barbed wire, white men
capable of extreme and unconscionable acts of violence
you never see them until it’s too late for status quo, still water silence
deeper though, you never know, a gun is just bamboo, a ball and black powder, light it
your next-door neighbor could be the next news-maker, a headline teenager
used to be you’d never know somebody got shot if they popped 911 on your personal pager
the world isn’t spinning any faster, but these gray matters will age ya,
I say, going postal isn’t even a clever turn of phrase yeah?

Sunup in the city, Chicago typewriters were dogearing a page in history
like firecrackers going off just before dawn, you could see them from a sky penthouse
the locations of every execution, it wasn’t a mystery
a plan went off without a hitch, an overtaking in the criminal industry
you can say it, business is booming
body-bags went out by the half dozen to a dozen spots, by noon sirens were still zooming
out of precincts, hearses and coroners, ambulances and firetrucks, police too
it wasn’t a warzone, it was a crime scene, every block everywhere, put tape around the whole county
you could bring every citizen in as a witness, they’d probably all have a statement, it was anarchy,
an entire organization was weeded out and killed, with efficient brutality, and get this, no payment offered up for a revenge bounty
nobody retaliated, they were emasculated, eviscerated, devastated and decapitated, nobody knew who held the keys to the city, but we knew to revere the new monarchy
and for months there was humidity so thick it made me sweat through my collar, an air of anxiety
terror is what you don’t know, can’t understand, aren’t able to feel, hear, or even see…


So, I’ll put a bomb in the mail, watch his face turn pale, stand outside the window
make his wife a widow, I’m not settling for the ironic justice he doled out
my life wasn’t nothing, but now it’s always something, ever since I sold my route
a job in this town is a weapon in the wrong hands, if you work for good folks, you’ll be met with injust demands
I delivered payroll for a law firm, took an armored van and stuck to plans
making sure paralegals and secretaries and partners see their paychecks, private sector, shotgun overhead on the rack, nine-millimeter on my side, and rifle in the back
same three to a car, I always drive, if you’re gonna hit us in broad daylight, it’s gotta be on Monday when we’re fully loaded, as we cross this bridge and you better promise we all stay alive
I get my cut, a quarter million, a Judas’ fee to guarantee the financial security of my family and we’ll be packing live rounds if you think of double crossing me, for our own safety
that day hits, we come across the bridge to a traffic stop
I was sweating bullets, my partner rolled down the window to talk to the cop
an accident ahead, then a sudden, deafening pop
now I feel the adrenaline flood, my face is covered with my friend’s blood
I’m kicking at the door, a ricochet bites my ear, I think my head is gone
but even if I’m dead I’m still running for dear life, I’m going on
I hear screaming, automatic gunfire, he’s shooting, taking them out with him,
he’s dying, I’m ripping my uniform off and ducking out, half-blind, the lights get dim
it’s days later, I’m contemplating the darkest things I’ve ever thought, outside a ***** cop’s residence
I’ve barely eaten, I’ve barely thought of anything except tracking this heist crew down, and now I’m showing hesitance
I’ve followed them since that day, I know this is it, they’re all inside, four bad men got rich and two good men died
one coward allowed it to happen, I’m gripping my sidearm, they won’t strip me of my pride, I don’t need any evidence
He kicks the door in, gun drawn on four men, their families just outside, seconds tick away, sweat drips, feet sway, chairs slide and casings clatter, he serves up an equalizer on a platter, that day it’s not a blue matter, it’s a blood splatter, eight dead, four thieves and three collateral, with a lone gunman at the heart of it all.

Fisticuffs always calls up a type of fighter, former priors
agents looking at delinquency like juvenile homes are boxing regency
adopt a son, own a slave, train him to fight for his home and do it all legally
coattail riding, meal ticket punching, a prizefighter raised from adolescence
to do one thing as soon as he enters a ring, turn lights out, win a money bout, leave opponent with no recollections
a colored boxer, killing competition in a record winning Olympic position
never shies away from trouble he tucks his chin and takes it double
always looking on the uppercuts, combinations break safes, open faces and break up guts
a contender for a spot, he’s dreamt of this, he’d give everything he has now away for this shot
it’s a chance at a chance, the only one he’s got
he loves his foster father and his foster mother and it feels like they’ve worked to give him a lot
sitting front row in reserved seats, while ten rounds pass,
his brain rattles in his skull, while they eat popcorn and sit on their ***
hands trembling in his gloves, slumped in the corner, cut the swelling eyes to let him see
he is dying ninety seconds at a time, how long can he last?
His masters don’t stand unless he falls, their love is slavery
these gloves that keep his hands in fists are new cuffs, they contain him, set him free!
He spits blood on the mouthguard, leaves his teeth on the mat, presses off on his knuckles and clears the ten count with the referee
eyes like a monster, he finally snapped, and wore the leather out
he proved his love was stronger than anyone and anything,
by beating his opponent into a fatal coma, in twelve rounds, blood pooled at silent spectator’s feet, as he continued to swing
it was an undercard they never forgot when he went back to prison and left it all in the ring.

Terror is what you don’t know, can’t understand, aren’t able to feel, hear, or even see
and for months I dreamt of what I saw that day with no lucidity
I was locked down in the tragic relivings of a marred, scarred up, firebomb charred memory
they look for the truth in their ink, why does that burden fall on me?
All I am is all I could ever be!
Dogged, **** tired, I put a cigarette out on my arm to see if I’m awake sometimes
sometimes I do it to see if I’m alive, after bearing witness to fresh hell, in some crimes
investigative journalism, my life’s work, it’s all dirt
digging for one breathtaking coffin, until my lungs hurt
it’s misery in a city of misgivings on loop for eternity
they know no one can stomach the bottom; even the bottom falls out
and the bowels and the guts spit up their disgust, the bile discussed their vile supremacy in doubt
but the duty still lands in my lap and I carry it readily if wearily
a good deed is unheard of, which is why the death of all factions
all fractions of crime, all at one time, all one action done on a dime, is killing me
I know there’s something more behind it all, that kind of slaughter would take an army
where does it begin, who’s covering up, lying and playing pretend, where does one thread stop when another one ends?
Am I standing in a web or a noose?
Am I cutting through a conspiracy or am I cutting myself loose?
I feel as if I’m suspended by my own suspicion!
I am lost and I’ve been more directly involved, more focused on a mission!
There are laughs in the walls of motels where I stay,
when I take my pills and check out for the night they giggle “Have a nice day!”
I’m sure of nothing, why do I know there must be foul play!
The streetsweepers must have an agenda, they must profit in some way
but they don’t come out of the woodwork to claim any coercion or pay
any heroics or fame, if any figurehead stood behind them, that person stands at bay
while I wait with bated breath, knowing one thing of murderers who achieve a getaway
that they either are assured of success enough to retire, or to attempt a grander feat of death…

Once an aging prima donna fell upon a spotlight
with all the natural talent of the charismatic, valorous and gallant, a comet in the starlight
she could sing and act and dance and grant wishes with magic if directed so
so, she was a child when she graced stages with her presence every night
crushing the pressure of performances that sink politicians by the sheer size
she could captivate and entertain, dazzle, razzle, sizzle, and shock a crowd
ahead of her time and curb and curtain, her cast and calling, producers she seemed to hypnotize
evoking the ire of every other actress, singer, dancer and magic woman living loud
she burst with color onto silver screens and took the world that was hers by any means, the masses she could mesmerize
even in black in white they fell in love with the gaze of her baby blue eyes
and the only thing to slow or stop this comet’s meteoric rise
was time, she was too old for the parts they wanted every woman for,
tapdancing and vaudeville, lounge singing and musicals, from the ivory tower to the first floor,
an aging prima donna, who would never want to play a bit role or a fill a hole well, she was a goner
she wanted to trailblaze, turn these old ways into new days
and she only needed new opportunities, a chance to shine in her advanced age
for the elderly actress desired to perfect an archetype in drama, beginning with one screenplay page
she wrote herself a major part, around the central cast, so the young talent could shine in the brighter lights, while she would create a legacy to outlast
and they look for her today in her films and wonder what changed to make it so,
that the energetic and happy woman lost all her glow, to go and wither into shadows where she would play the crone and cantankerous, conniving, lonely gypsy or old widow.

In a new era, a new form, the prizefighter came back, weathered the case
five to ten
years off the prime of his career
militant Islamic conversion in the joint, scowl permanently on his face
disowned his adopted home, disemboweled his circle to scorch earth for some personal space
and worked harder to prove he deserved to earn the boxing commission’s good grace
got his boots back on, never out of shape, kept them laced
older and slower, but stronger than ever, a lifestyle change is a new pace
he met a new agent, a man with his true interests at heart, cross it and hope
he’s representing the same faith, referral by a cellmate, representing the same race
he’s educated and well-dressed, his lawyers got lawyers who all send money upriver
so why would he ever sell a fighter downstream? He’s all about one color, one power
the power is cash and the color is green! He’s selling prizefighting like a butcher sells liver
looking at his prime killer like he’s working by the hour, like the man has never been here
he’s lost speed, gained mass, sore in the bones from time’s past and passed in the joint, he’s one night away from an official anoint-
meant, appointment with the king, a racial salesman who takes advantage of the divide to provide a talking point with his melanin
when he doesn’t care, he doesn’t even see people before him as more than cattle or less than human
and with every victory he’s seeing clear, the field he’s standing in is tall grass
he’s struggling to see the path he walked in on, but he’s got to keep burning through the gas
promotion, fight, rounds of blood and sweat, hand held high, interview gab, it’s not over yet
locker room politics, agents and deals, brands and lawyers and contracts, contacts, pagers and producers, politicians and televisions and business meals
he’s got a clear role on only one side of things, that’s why he lets the bird out of the cage because money talks and sometimes ******* sings
but when it comes down to trimming the fat, he earns his living in training and between the ropes in how he lives and how he wins when he swings
and he goes out with a record of sixty fights with eight losses and no contest, one of the most controversial champs to duke it out in those rings.

That they either are assured of success enough to retire, or to attempt a grander feat of death
I swear to ******* God I’m being followed ever since I left the last spot, it’s like the city knows I’ve been holding my breath
it started choking me, hands wrapped around my neck, I’m cut off from my office I can’t even cash a field check, I left my kids in the separation, this story is it, I don’t have nothing left
I’m chasing lights where there’s only flickering projectors, looking for the big picture at the point of origin
it’s never going to reveal itself to me, I hear the voices of professors trampling my voice again
the streets don’t just open up and take every killer, thief and ****** back, every assault charge and corrupt landlord, cop, lawyer and councilman
all the big fish swam away after the attack, like rats on a sinking barge, it’s their word full stop, against the everyman
but if the system breaks down at the point of their cogs, the people who do their ***** work, and witnesses all suddenly outnumber them with righteous indignation, armed and willing to catch a case then…
Who’s going to be left to clean up after that?
Three days, five days, eight, fully awake with the full realization, a health hazard with walls where I sat
the story of the century in my lap, I looked like warm crap, like something the buildings and streets formed teeth to chew up in their maw and back out they spat
figures not even the bones of this old gal would like the flavor of an emissary to the truth
I rattled my fist to the ceiling on the ninth day, kicked a rat of my mattress, pulled the story off my typewriter, and muttered “Let’s see how they like that!”
for the first time I saw daylight, I saw a kid standing outside waiting to rob me, hand in his pocket, he cocked a hammer and told me to drop it,
I stood frozen, sure everything was true if they were waiting to stop it going through the presses, I was ready to die when an old man came by, chased him off with a cane and yelled “Stop it!”
this boy dropped two rocks he clicked together to make a gun noise in his coat and ran, I was stunned and I just studied the face and thanked God for the old man
I interviewed him, a source for my civilian militia, and next week I was in a real bed in my apartment when they ran the issue.

Many months ago, something crazy happened, our family had a tight net over the whole city then it snapped and
lieutenants, enforcers, soldiers all turned on each other on the orders of opposing captains
we turned to our cops, sergeants and detectives, turns out their own were capped before then
cops were ******* with corruption and a lone gunman who hit their families and crossfire killed three kids, four men, rich thieves died poor men,
every single lawyer and city politician at that time was locked up with all eyes on the boxing commission and a homicide spree tied to a ******’ blues musician
it was like all the focus left and they let clowns just step in, meanwhile we were undermined by our own kind, greedy backstabbers and
they cost us the whole operation, cannibal rats, growing fat off our own hind end
in the confusion every two-bit hood and crook, every able-bodied gun and ******, every veteran and rookie, all the way from the bottom to the Consigliere got took,
I found the underboss hanging on to evidence that shut the Don out of the state from a firebombed butcher’s shop in the back by a meat hook, bullet riddled legs limp and falling off, a dozen dead thugs by a card game in the back, plates with cold steak and scrambled eggs
papers ran facts on the carnage, questioned the anarchy, only one washout journalist tried to explain
he must have racked his brain, put himself through so much pain,
in a blind spot there was just another crime, on a scale that looked insane
he said good people were out there, outnumbering the bad
that no matter the hard times, those breed helping hands from survivors who know what they’re like, because they see you having the same day they’ve had
his words were in print, but I felt them reaching out and the fingertips fell short of the grasp
he was a man drowning in senseless slaughter, coming up for air and that was what he saw in a gasp
I know they need hope, but they don’t know it like I do, it’s the environment that breeds the opportunity, otherwise we would never get away with what we do
people don’t make the city clean
you know what I mean
there’s a system, they operate it, a monolithic, twisted, broken glass jaw of a weaker species that spits spiteful and sick ****, it’s full of hatred, eyes red, bureaucrats that ******* cats to see them land on their backs, it only speaks the language of violent acts so it only understands you if you attack, everything in the string-pullers is the least of actual humanity, it’s forsaken because they are the most of what a person lacks, and we answer to their highest calling it’s brass tacks, it’s a blood tax, it’s a wish come true light the candle at both ends and wait until there’s no more wax,
the city isn’t *****, it was built by us, it wasn’t perfect when we got here, but we **** sure broke her trust, you either live the life you want or you die how you must.
write
please read and enjoy
Natalie Oct 2018
I sit squat in the hollows
Of this massive skull.
It is where my weight resides—
Just inside the great cathedral arches
Of the brow bone.
I can look only outward at the world

From these odd windows and lay mute.
Under my door,
A draft sneaks in from a passageway,
And I wonder what now lies beyond.
I can only imagine, for there are bits of me—
Parts of my own psyche that are terribly,

Painfully inaccessible—dusty corridors left
Long untrodden to savage, rotten things
And hidden gems
Locked in safes in rooms
Closed off behind shut doors,
And here I sit,

Separate from it all—
The bad and the good,
—in this cold, dank and empty
Space lined by stone-bone walls, door fastened
From without.
Now some fiend has come

And locked me in,
Locked it from the other side.
I cannot escape. If only I had let the anguish storm through—
Felt it ripping raw against my skin—if only I had not
Stowed it away in some remote
Recess in the far reaches of my mind

To fester and to grow. If only I could now live
Without this severance from myself.
If only, if only...
Dream Fisher Oct 2019
It seems like the largest homes
Have the most broken family.
Look at all the stuff, it can't fill the hole,
You are still alone, while I get a loan,
You can't get along, I am barely standing.
Afraid, they buy up safes and guns,
Afraid, while the children get bored and high off drugs.
They do it to escape their minds,
They buy designer drugs to pass the time.
Then once all the fun is done,
They go back to an empty mansion.
Return to responsibilities then remember,
They don't have them.

I represent a lower middle class,
People ask me what is that,
They don't understand.
Let me explain like this,
I don't qualify for assistance, I don't collect stamps,
I can't afford a *** to **** in,
I've got debt from the world just spinning.
I'm not upset, I keep my head to stay modest.
But I still feel the shackles of life, if I'm being honest.

Every person shakes your hand and smiles,
With a knife to hold, you sell your soul.
The tiny printed stamp goes on for miles.
They only let you get ahead once you break the bread,
That holds your morals and convictions,
Then turn and give the same hand shake,
To the next man who will listen.

— The End —