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Robin Lemmen Aug 2018
Losing is a game I have mastered
I win each and every time
When it comes to us
Battle wounds won't heal
If you keep pouring salt into them
I feel so lost and I so strongly wish to be found
I keep hanging onto memories
Because at a time when I was most unsure
And feeling like I had no clue
Who I was or what it was I needed to do
You made me feel safe and you felt like home
It didn't matter how little I understood
About the world around me
You made me feel like I was enough
Like I had a safe space to come back to
You were the only person I have ever
Felt that way with
So when you left so did safety and belonging
And ever since that day
I have been screaming your name
In silence to myself
As if somehow that would make you reappear
But it doesn't
It never will
It only makes me feel more lost and like
Nothing I ever do will be good enough
I want to so badly, but darling
I just can't seem to let you go
Lizzy Jul 2014
Hurricanes as mine
Destroy without remorse
Terrorizing hearts
Making people run

But never once has someone
Held me
Told me I was safe

When my shelter crumbled
And clouds came rolling in
You were my safety
My boyfriend is the greatest human ever
The letter I never sent,
I write my valentine on your beating heart,
And send a perennial prayer,
That you could know without knowing.

Petals on your doorstep,
But no signature,
Pink Rosehip on your bedsheets,
Spying through your window blinds,
At someone unreal .

A label that travels as my desperations move it,
How I value the sick,
The unnatural,
The corpse and the consent.

The tenacious nature of a train,
With a hundred destinations,
None finite,
Moving and passing every station,
Leaving like it never stopped,

The will to pull me off it,
The weight of every expectation,
The ommitance after the deprication,
And the incommodious silence after the exposè.

I lust for that iced libation,
The roseate water of ivy and redemption,
A clay to fit inside my insatiable skin hunger,
A welcomed error of continuity in my own beliefs.

The rain of rapture will flood the streets to the chorus of weeping,
The composition of the crestfallen,
And my perennial prayer,
For an ardent antiphon.

-Unabaitingly, The Romantically Inept
When I was eight
I would fall asleep
in the corners
of my house
often left alone
because I felt
my bed
was the reason I could not sleep
I felt
like it knew
I wasn't worthy
of the pillow
or my sheets
or the cascade of
that would fall on my
face in the morning
just like they do now

I would walk around the house
empty and creaking
and I would walk into the kitchen
and hold a knife
to my stomach
with my reflection
in the granite counter top
and I would wonder
why I felt
that it was often better
to die than try to
with my mind numbing
and the questions
they posed

I didn't know yet
people took their lives.
That people
felt these things sometimes
they had clouds
that would hang over heads
sometimes for months
I hadn't felt a loss
but still
I knew this ride
only had a one way
and I wanted off

It's heavy
to feel the heat
that runs through my
blood when I'm behind
the wheel of a car
or walking over
a bridge
it's difficult
to always see
ledges without
safety fences
and concrete columns
and not really understand why
the mineral mounds
in my brain
just aren't stacked the same
as Bill
or Jane
Because I've always known
this one track train
to not have a definitive escape
just a one way ticket
and only one lane

It's heavy to always
see ledges without
safety fences
and find some calm
some comfort in
Scarlet McCall Oct 2016
Thou didst guard me, Amulet--
Talisman, whose destruction I regret.
Thy spell held me in eternal safety.
I was never alone, when thou wert with me.
I gave up thy secret to the sorcerer,
for promise of a gift he could not deliver.
Poor bargain, and I am now wiser
and would not trade treasure for lowly desire.
The sorcerer broke my talisman,
and I was broken, and now alone I stand.
Too late I realized my error
and was stricken with mortal terror.
On the bridge I screamed, above the frozen river,
under a sunless sky, facing a void forever.
Don't know why I wrote it in a pidgin version of Middle English. It's a true story.  But eventually I was able to fashion reasonable facsimiles of the Talisman, and they occasionally appear in my poems.
Pyrrha Jul 2018
Love, why do you make my heart bleed?
It leaks thick red plasma that stains on my fingers
As I try to conceal the pain and hide it deep within
My own two hands reach up and take my breath away

The lies you speak catching in my lungs
Forget keeping appearances, I'm suffocating
The answers seem so clear
As I gasp for air

In shock I stare down at my hands in horror
As I find they are replaced with your own
This sudden display leaves me in disbelief
I don't want to see all the truth coming up to smother me

I wasn't smart enough to stay away
From those treacherous arms that promised safety
As they had planned from the beginning
To clench around my throat and liquidate all my strength and glory

Before we even said our first hello's
You planned the end before we began
Love, I will make your heart weep
What you give out comes back to you

I will get you on your knees
Begging for forgiveness
Till they become bruised and give out
I will break you down before you dare to believe you've won

If you are iniquity think of me as your karma,
You will never win
Madeline Kapinos May 2015
And she wakes,
every morning
She rises and prepares
for a new fight
“Today will be better,
I will be stronger”
She whispers to herself
as she steps out into the world
but it’s all in vain today
She falls again and again
with once tender,
now bitter words
searing into her chest
She can’t stand, she can’t breathe
“Oh my world my love
Why have you abandoned me?”
She lets out in a rush of
red hot agony and
And just like any other day
she runs home to realize
everything she comes to place her eyes upon
she sees through broken and tired eyes
there’s no safety, here.
And as quickly as the strike began
it ends
lay down
get some sleep
“Tomorrow will be better,
I will be stronger”
Written for my friend
Hillary Magee Sep 2018
I lay at the bottom

For hours

I will drown

I need to reach my hand out
What have I found?
That my strong forearms and Biceps can take a
hanging branch
And pull me out
My sturdy calves and focused feet
Dig hard into the earth and lift
I hit the surface and my big mouth
Gasps for air and my lungs take in New Breath
My big brown eyes open and
See all that has been
And I am lifted
Out and away
Anakaren Davila Jul 2018
If I could call you
anything other than your name,
sweeter than honey and blame,
I'd call you safety.

If I could taste you,
even while you're away,
you'd taste like home
on rainy days.

I wish to leave this place,
If only in mind,
The same way I save my self,
The same way I decline.
sian Feb 16
in your arms a haven for my soul
your heartbeat, my lullaby
you whispered in my ear
sweetheart you are ethereal
heartbreakingly beautiful
So you touched
She Writes Jun 2018
Tonight I am drowning
Waves of missing you
Crashing all around me
My swirling current of thoughts
Pulls me under
Lost in a sea of tears
Longing to see your lighthouse
To guide me back to safety
Kristine Sep 4
My thoughts about you
feel safer when I write
them down on paper.
Wolf Dec 2018
Please let me stay
Right here
Where the faces
Are not shadows
But instead
Filled with light

Leave me be
To observe a memory
Or indulge in a thought
So my joy
Will forever
Thrive within

The pain has vanished
The fear finally fled
So why must it be
Sent back to me?
Francie Lynch Jan 22
We used to hear it all the time:
Can you come outside and play?

We heard that chant throughout the hood,
From screened back doors where our friends stood.
Calling just when time was right,
For Hide and Seek at the dawning night,
Or Hopscotch, Double Dutch
Kick the Can,
On neighbour's lawns and sidewalks,
On streets, driveways or city parks.

My daughter got a text today:
Can you come to my house and play?
We had eyes like cats back then.
Nie Jan 28
i don’t want this
i don’t want to doubt every decision i make
i just wanna be certain all the time
i don’t wanna ask all this advice
i need to learn how to live my life on my own
forget the safety pin
and just fire me into life .
Lavina Akari May 2017
i can only find the open palms of my demons in that red mist, the ones that once held my face in a much harsher way than you do now. your calloused hands feel like heaven instead of the hell that slept in the creases of their fingerprints. sometimes i fall too close and i see their blackened eyes that replay childhood traumas that i have spent years repressing with self-destructive behaviours and alcohol. your own remind me of the rivers i could drown myself in but i must remind myself that diving in will only give me peace, not death, though it feels like death whenever they're not in my sight. sometimes i think about hurting myself again but then i remember the claws of those monsters and how they can't compare to your nails tickling at my back in the late of the night where theirs would be cutting me open. i don't ever want to be in their grip again. never again. never.
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