Sitting in a circle, we were just sixteen
A few dumb kids figuring what this life would mean.
Andy says he's going to community college,
Jimmy is going out of state,
As if these plans were going as perfect as they seem
Matt took a year off trying to search for knowledge
I took a similar rope just waiting for fate
As if we can succeed just stuck in a wait.
Andy took general courses, working a minimum grind
He stays up all night, caffeine pills keeping him online.
Jimmy got a degree in something with no market
Thirty grand has him working two jobs
Feeling like seeking education left him robbed
Cleaning up after the generation that cut him off
Matt and I keep passing ideas that we never do
Thinking school might be worth it
Still deciding a future but even the new
Leaves a taste of the same place we knew
A few average kids didn't stand a chance
Took a few different roads all led to the same
If you have the experience, you lack their degree
If you have a degree, it's two years experience they want to see
So nobody trains you and nobody learns
Now they have a following believing the world doesn't turn
I'm so lost in these politics I can barely find my way home
I stayed up late tonight,
last night too,
the day before that,
caffeine cranking my gears,
family making me see days through.
on the coldest nights, where I feared failure,
I looked to my right and always knew
I'd fight every battle with you.
I get stuck and erase parts, I felt wouldn't fit us well.
imagine all the lines deleted, the things I never tell.
the illuminated nothing that strangles at my soul,
it speaks to me in phrases yet I never let it be whole.
as I walk down this hallway, a hallway of five feet,
to a room I know contains the best thing I'll ever meet
Don't ask me which,
I couldn't choose, they each have me in a hold
so tightly I am wound, I would let all else go.
I'm a child for being lost in here
I'm a man for walking through the door
looking at most of you, I wonder what you are.
There's wind in your sails, son
But there is sin lurking in the waters
This ice might freeze your veins
When you're on high tides with just a dream,
Whether it's smooth sails or drowned on a rock bed
Remember to always keep a level head.
Most of those speeding bullets are flying depressed
What if the fame of their mental unrest
Continues to grow and the crowd following
Is the food making the illness continue to manifest?
I'm paying to make the warm days stay cool
I'm paying to make the cold days warm
And I keep my cool because it's out of my hands
All I can do is fix it or buy it brand new
Until I come to that day when these cards all come due
I feel lost because I work to eat Ramen as fuel
That's just being dramatic, I eat because I like it too.
But I wish people were more honest about these feelings
Instead of the fake smile, fake "great" chat.
Shake their hand never knowing the weight on their back
Let's be real, this is exactly where I'm at:
I put down the pen for a month to be a work slave
That doesn't mean I don't crave to jot these thoughts
It means I don't hold the energy for me
I spend my free time pulling grey hair looking at the dark circles
That I wave to in a mirror fogged up when I breathe
"How can I help you and how am I wrong?"
A professional drug dealer, a professional nothing.
Think I'm important? I think you'd replace me like nothing.
A Russian roulette and not a single chamber is bluffing.
I put down this pen for dirty scraps of parchment
That a man used to get synthetic numbness sent
Through his veins and I miss that idiot some days.
And I'm sorry. Man, I'm sorry.
All these broken kids, want a parent's pride
But once you hear those words
They still fall short, in the void so wide
Spent your whole life, questioning why.
I can't blame me, you barely know me
And for every night that I felt incomplete
I did my best to try, try so hard to never be you
If only you knew, I hope some day you see.
The only real conversation we ever had,
Was me having hard times, you said you're in therapy,
Even then you didn't care for me.
You felt bad for a moment, but I've spent 15 years in a moment.
For every chance you're given you drop it.
Time for a game, time for a job, time for a second marriage.
Time for your children? Those washed up excuses are getting lame.
Forget it, I'm healed, here's for the rest of us.
For the mother, getting beaten and bruised
Don't stay for the kids
Leave for the kids
A marriage is the least you have to lose.
No matter the hobby, the job, the passion
For the kids, try to match their excitement.
My generation isn't lazy, we're outcasted.
An Internet of people saying your dreams can't happen.
For the kids, build them up, make hope outlast them.
For the mother, verbally bashed to feel useless
It's simple, you aren't useless.
For the father, stay active, protect your family,
You do matter.
I'll cut the poetic verse to tell a short story and I hope it gets passed around. When I was ten, my sister was fourteen. My parents split up and while I was young, I remember a lot. I remember struggling to get by with my mom and sister. My father was quickly in a new relationship. His soon-to-be new wife and he would spread a million stories about how she talked badly of him which even got around to my teachers in school. It's funny, she never said anything bad about him, we didn't want to go with him on the weekends because he was pushing for us to sleep at his new girlfriend's house. It got to a point where when we would call my father, the new woman would pick up the phone and tell us not to call him. So many years later, my sister and I still keep an open door for him. We are facebook friends and whatever (I don't have his phone number, I messaged him a few years ago for it and he ignored it). Occasionally, I get a message asking how I am and I always respond, he reads my response and never writes back again for months or a year. He wishes me a happy birthday and father's day on my Facebook to keep up appearances or something but truthfully I don't know him at all. My sister got a house a couple years ago only a short distance from where he lives and even after many invites, he still hasn't visited. This is the same guy that to strangers seems like such a fun guy, I've never met. And every part of this involving me really doesn't matter but, I wish he would see where my sister lives and I wish he gave a damn about her becuase she actually cares that he wants nothing to do with her. And to any part of this that is called fabricated, I remember everything and so does she.
These kids are like dragons
Their flames will only drag them down
All the talk is cheap,
Actions only happen on softened ground
As my mind and eyes get heavy
I've been swimming where reality and dreams meet
They say tragedy is dying in death but I don't believe,
Tragedy is never attempting to live, I don't believe
You should give only 30 percent of your mind
To find if the dreams you believe is something you can achieve
And the start only takes a start to begin.
I know what it's like to give it all and still never win
When your account is in red and car running fumes
Selling all of my things in these rooms
Just for the comfort of having a roof
But Ryan, what if it isn't enough and you lose?
I refuse, to put those thoughts in my mind.
You want all of those doubts?
Fine, what if I die of anaphylaxis tomorrow
What if I don't have a breath to borrow
And I just turn blue.
What if this stress breaks me down
And I forget all the things that make me live
That's just as much true as all of the positive
So why do they scream all these nightmares on the news
But never show all the dreams pounding through
They want you divided, they want you weak
Push down the kid trying to speak
Tell him he's ignorant for having childish morals
Attack his grammar, leaving sides in a quarrel.
Forget the issue for fighting, they bring in their own issue for fighting.
In a rich man's war, it's all the poor biting
Until the world is bloodstained, we scatter from lightning.
Why isn't anyone asking why we are fighting?
These flames are only going to drag us down.
Walking onto this stage,
Feels more like a cage to a faceless audience
They're out there looking for answers,
They're asking what you would do
Until you wake up and there isn't a soul in the room
Except the walls are personified and they're screaming at you
"What's your life plan, kid?"
"That's ridiculous, you should just quit."
"You can do more, even your best is a dead end street."
"Wipe the smile, this is work, you don't deserve to enjoy it."
I quit trying to ever write for anyone but own
So why do I feel like the crowd keeps growing?
They keep asking where I come up with the words to continue,
This eidetic memory makes me relive everything I've been through
My future self is making these poems take form
I'm Link and this is my Song of Storms.
So when I take a breath, I know my time isn't due
Felt the warmth of the day, made it a night without harm.
Standing out on this stage,
I realize this whole image is useless,
Throw down the mic and give a face to the faceless
I don't have much time, don't make me second guess if I waste it.
It's funny, the nameless strangers tell me I'm killing this game.
The people who speak frequent act like the hydra has 50 heads unslain.
I'm confused how people seemlessly seem to relate success with stress
They're pissed I paved a path without losing my mind
These walls can scream all they want
I'm self-made and made it my own, the audience is blind.
Even if I leave this demon on an island in the past
I feel like my mind will still be attached
They hit me with adrenaline pens in a panicked blur,
A fifteen minute relief pretending to work on a cure.
Looking through the eyes of a rabbit
Every harp string starts to hum
Staring over these oceans that begin to turn to rum
Try to convince me, by casting all these spells
But this water isn't fixing anything when they poison all the wells
They tell us to keep sailing, despite the brutal winds
As the sun is fading, the tide is setting in.
Look at me and say, "you're an inconvenience to us"
Like my soul is insignificant, blowing away like dust
My only privilege asked is that you let me breathe
In a room full of untrust, still they don't let me leave
My voice starts to wheeze, they don't listen.
I'm in a position to beg people to let me breathe.
My heart rate quickens, wishing I could just be freed,
A time bomb around my neck, no one holds the key.
I smile for today, the sun is shining, keeping storms at bay
Even if forcasted, Armageddon is on its way.
Don't expect the kids to sit inside, let them dance in puddles
You can't go along for the ride living in these bubbles
Avoidance is simple, but I'd rather take a chance with trouble
I'll smile all the while, until the day I meet my death
I'm in a position to beg people to let me breathe
But you won't hear me speak a plea until my dying breath
I woke up from a drugged sleep,
Went to work feeling like I had no feet
I speak my mind when my mind goes numb
There's no candy - coating when the sugar runs.
It's unfortunate when benedryl turns me to a zombie shell
But, contrary to my spoken thoughts,
I tend to write pretty well.
So I set my sails on paper trails leading into ink infested wells
Not literally though, I bought a pack of 20 pens on sale.
Caligrapher? I could never be. My mind spits too vapidly.
The metal tips snap back at me, leaving splatters on the tapestry.
I take a bath, I take a bath with a cup of tea
And stupid show on TV, stifling my own laughing
My wife is in the room connected and she's trying to sleep.
I wake her up occasionally to tell her an obsurd thought,
Most of those nights I'm up past three.
I swear she compliments my crazy mind quite perfectly.
She'll read this babble I wrote and tell me I'm silly.
And do you know why? Because I'm silly.
I wouldn't know what to do with a lot money,
I don't want fancy cars or designer meds.
But I'd love a glass of orange juice with some pulp, instead.
I'm not a picky person, but there are a couple things I hate,
Like asking for fresh - squeezed and getting concentrate.
I quit my job today
it's like gaining a beautiful freedom,
Wouldn't you say?
To wake up, In a world free from the clock in, clock out
I didn't leave a note, I just walked out
Honestly, I'm smiling with no doubts, no regrets
Even more honest, it's been five minutes,
I haven't even gotten in my car yet.
And I haven't had a chance to dissect these decisions.
I got a wife and son at home, they don't even know,
I don't even know what I was thinking,
Sit down for a minute, I'm getting blurred vision.
I'm taking some time for myself today,
Those bills can stack like dominos,
They fall, I didn't plan to pay them anyway.
I'll play these video games and become a legend,
Sodas will pay me to represent them
I'd be a sellout in a second, that isn't even a question
Just as long as I don't need to get out of bed, then I'll be fine.
It's alright, keep telling myself, it's alright.
I retired from my job today,
I gave my title away
What will I do without this purpose?
What is there, now, for me to seek?
I'm trying not to freak out
Honestly, my nerves are shot, my brain feels so tired
Even more honest, I'm driving home to try to explain to my family
That really I just got fired.
There are times to be scared
In them, rational thoughts drift from your head
The times when news comes that appears unfair
And all the crazy, wild fills you instead.
I know it, you know it. I hate it.
Take a breath.
In an ocean of waves, some are meant to swim
With a storm on the horizen, the outlook is grim.
Take a breath and hold it. For a second and release.
You can make it, I can make it.
This is not how I die,
It's much more surprising for the life I've led.
You won't take me alive, sir.
To be clear, you won't take me at all
Look into my eyes, Storm.
See the walls I've made fall.
Don't come any closer, truly, I mean no harm.
But come at me, I'll attack thee.
Until my sanity is long lost,
Every bone I've been blessed, will shatter in just cost.
Take a breath. Take a second.
Think hard about your moves, you hold such might
But I hold a will with everything to lose.
There are times to be scared
When my hands shake without end
Truthfully, I do my best to hide it
Try as I might to hold it in.
I take a breath.
With water just below my mouth
I've been submerged deep in water
And turned that downpour to a drought.
I don't want to, you can make me.
Because, although, I'm scared of the sea
Make no mistake, I will make the sea fear me.