I did not have her written in my agenda with expectations.
There were no demands or obligations.
I did not care how she benefited me in the future, I just loved her.

I could not love her less under any hopeless condition.
There was no generic narrative on how our love should be written or any rules to follow under loves play book, there was no ulterior motives that were hidden, I just loved her.

I’ve seen her eyes running tears as she wept with despair. I heard the ugly truth from her mouth even ones I couldn’t bare.
Yet I would set my own ego to side because I would break too.
We can share this pain together, I thought, I can carry it for us too. I can’t explain why but even in the aweful moments like this, I just loved her.

You see, I could go to any place in the world and my heart would stay unmoved and unwavered.
For my love is like a tree that’s planted and its roots can hold on through many seasons. I cannot be moved so easily, for my loves foundation needs no reasons. Where I feel at place is not a home but a person and as long as she’s still alive, my love remains under all circumstances.

And this is what I know of love to be, it is my expression, it is a sensation, it is a feeling that doesn’t need to make sense to anyone but me.

I’m worried of moments
I’ll never get with you.
I’m worried I’ll never get the chance
to truly love you as I should’ve.
I’m worried you will always resent me
with the way things ended.
Could I have fought harder? Yes. I Could’ve.

I’m worried I would wait for another chance that may never arrive.
I’m worried the months will pass and I’ll be fighting my own emotions to survive.
I’m worried to move on because I’ll start searching for another you.
Will I be disappointment when I come to learn how many humans I need to stack together to come close? Yes, because it’s true.

I’m worried to never see the day.
I’m worried it’ll never
ever
ever
be that way.

And if I gambled and lost
At this point it wouldn’t matter
Because If I risked it all, I will risk it all, not just some of me

I’ve given my all not just parts of me

There is one heart and I gamble it every time and I often lose it

My odds are to lose or win but I bet it on a lifetime of happiness

That this time around its in for the win and on that winning streak it was all worth it.

So win big, risk it all, take the odds, do it all in the name of love.

And if by chance you lose, be prepared to be lost but shoot the dice and do it all over again.

Say that you love me throughout
Yet make me feel in doubt
Hold me tight with all your might
Up until you leave from sight
For I know what’s destined here
You want me close and want me near
Yet one day you’ll disappear
……… My meanwhile lover.

The moon shines on tent city
The desert breeze blows in balmy air
The oceans far, what a pity
The wind blows through my hair
I’m hitching a ride to my home city
My mind is distracted with the thought
Green grass and flowers where it’s pretty
Beyond this place my imagination has long sought

The moon shines on tent city
Another night has flown by
And I sit here looking gritty
Like a bird with broken wings that can’t fly
Part of me is out there waiting
Waiting another day
Until I find her I’ll be stating
That my time here wasn’t fully lived
Since I’ve been away