Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
To:  A Flaming Heart
            Of the Hedonistic School

From:  A Slow-Burn Refugee
                Of the Broken-Back-Pack-Mule

                        ¤¤¤

I've had dreams by day
That brought the nightmares back.
?In the daylights exposure it was dark  
When the negative light was bright.

In the sea of people
I was the floating remains
Of a Great White's meal. 
On the lonely roads of thought

My mind was in gridlock.
Comforting memories were suspended
Over a psychic black hole
By jagged and rusted

Medieval-type surgical tools.
My remaining senses
Were nailed to a cross-section
Of psychically atrophied grey matter

Along neural pathways
Guarded by gladiator-type tormentors.
Left with nothing
But the stinging desire to be freed

From a curse that had to be cured
And the hell of searching for a cure
When I was convinced there wasn’t one.
The powers that be come with force

To quell primal lusts & desires
Forbidding you of them
As they seductively
Dangle them before your eyes
  
Until you are so frustrated and unfulfilled
That you no longer
Care for your world.  
This cracked glass remains empty

Even though it is constantly being filled
Then spilled or leaked on the floor
Until you learn to lap it up
Like the lapdog that you have become

For their amusement.
You remain with a love for freedom  
But your cage is so large 
That you think you are free

Lost in societal fantasy.
You think for a while
That these fantasies are real   
Until you come to your senses that aren’t

As you join other fools
In comfort that you're not the only
Broken-back pack-mule. 
But in spite of it all

And in the face of them all
Don't let these birds of prey                                                          
An­d powers that be
Deprive you of what they
cannot see

In that hidden corner
Of what is still untouched--
The real you
Uninfected by the world.  

Take care of your spiritual affairs.
Don't let the global beast
And your primal hissing forces
Make you be your own pallbearer.
©2017 Daniel Irwin Tucker

Yet another dance through life.
"I am inside your head"
the villain shrieks
As the hero stumbles
down the street
his body moving
at the villains control
except when the hero can take control

The hero flies toward the villain's lair
and has to fight
because his body keeps
trying to veer off coarse
all the wile the villain tries to mess
with hero's head
saying things like:
(you will never get too me,
you cannot defeat me,
stop messing with me
and I'll leave you alone)

The Superhero has to stop (you'll never catch me)
every couple seconds (I've got total control)
to redirect his direction (when I want to be)
so he doesn't veer off coarse, (only I am free)
but he doesn't give up (I will never let you reach me)
determined to stay on coarse (go north)
He works his way toward the lair (west)
"It's hard to think with him in my head" (east)
he thought (south!)
He approached the lair
it seemed a concerning screech in the air
in his head,
cause he dared to tread,
it got louder as he walked to the door
got so intense he fell to the floor
then he got an thought
he gave it all he got
to intensify the tone,
till it got so intense,
it became impossible to hold,
and it broke
he got a moment of clear thoughts
a moment to call the shots,
he walked into the cave
confident and feeling brave
(I will **** you in here)
He ignored that thought

The villain still in his mind
figured out something that would catch him blind
infiltrated brain paths
the villain gave out laughs
as he shut down the superhero's
ability to fly
Before the hero,
lay a giant hole,
with a one inch wide
piece of wood
that would have to hold
his mind was unusually quiet
perhaps that's all he had
to keep him from flying
to try and make him dead.
He stepped cautiously onto the wooden plank
goose stepping carefully
confident in his fate
he was about 1/3 the way 'cross
when out of nowhere...
His leg kicked up high
and he lost his balance
he heard p-fuzz
and (I got you!)
made it hard to think
he grabbed the rail and crouched his legs and feet
pulled himself across the pole,
now dangling above the hole
and his fingers wanted to give up
but the hero would not let them just lift up
he pulled himself across the bar
which was bending like it'd give way
he carefully moved across
and stepped on up on a rock, he had made it to the other side.
still alive.
more determined
he almost died.

Gunshot from behind a rock
The hero knew it was time to ROCK!
He hopped behind a rock
that ate their ammo
as he shot back
plasma shots.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
the enemy shot
no telling how many there was
with all the shots.
He waited till they ceased fire to make his move,
when they stopped, he decided to groove
He jumped up and flew over (He can fly!)
as soon as each goon
was in view
he slung plasma plasts,
and ended their pursuit.
wasting no time he moved
into the next room
where he saw the villain
the hero's cape waved behind him as he flew toward
his enemy
He punched the villain in the face
like a disgrace
he flew backwards
with the superhero on him
punching him in mid air
he didn't care
he smashed his face in the rock
it split
with that one clock
the villain was passed out
he got him in restraints
brought him somewhere
where he couldn't hurt anyone else
in a special chamber
that he couldn't break through
psychically
the superhero won
Mana Feb 2015
Oh Compelling Magician
Why do your vibes glow?
You're tempting,
Mysterious,
But my brain is just too slow.
To keep with your illusions
And your twinkly fantasy
But I'm compelled to look in further,
To the effervescence,
Your majesty.
You have this way-
Pure,
And Indescribable.
It's magnetizing,
It's happy,
And it's quite unfathomable.
So dear, dear, magician
Please let me come close.
Tell me of your secrets,
Of the mystery of the cosmos.
I promise not to tell-
Your secret's safe with me.
And you'll have my heart forever,
Two magicians to be
Psychically, as one,
For all eternity.
About that magnetic, psychic attraction you have with those compelling people that's difficult to pull away from. Goes beyond words, but here, I humbly attempted to try to do just that.
Sara Grace Jan 2014
~Staying Strong
No matter what I go through ill do my best to stay strong. No matter what you or society puts me through I will stay strong. You've broken to many promises, Ive hurt myself by trying to fix them. But now I have hurt and I have learned. I showed you my pain but you didn't care. I'm getting back up on my feet. I'm taking my broken wings and learning how to fly. I've got people who will help me through this. Yes pain has changed me. But the mistakes I have made, I've learned from. I have learned who my true friends are, through this. The ones who will never leave my side. I am going on from this, and not looking back. I'm not a toy, that you can pick up when you want. I'm done with you messing with my emotions. You've made me stronger than I was before. You helped me figure out who I am. You've shown me how strong I truly am; Not just psychically but emotionally and mentally. Staying strong was my only option left. I wanted to give up, but I've saw your true colors that only gave me the drive to not give up. It gave me the drive to show you and them that I'm not gonna give up.
In the end I'm not giving up, I'm Staying Strong and starting again~
Since I identified myself as more than a number
I have been remembered by Orbs, Walk-Ins, channelers and elementals
  with all the work that has been carried out by Light-workers and care-givers, the Justice League if you will
  much attention has been drawn by the Pleiadians
  So at this time one wonders why things aren't coming alright instantly
   Besides wars and organized crime and famine
the touble has been food and birth control
      

The messages that come from the Dream School reveal that the Pleiadians as well as Carians, (the Parents of Reptillians) once helped mankind with planning pregnancy and avoiding dysfunctional births to breed a creed of children who didn't live according to a political plan, occult plan or a religious sacrifice
   They came to help man so balance can be restored because the problems that were found here were not found on other planets at the time
    there was a prophecy from time-travellers that scientists would one day awaken hormones of humans before they had spiritual identity and knowledge about the Universe and Creation
  --- with this generation upon generation it would be hereditary for children to birth children so then there would be no parents, hence no direction


but you see to get to pregnancy one has to understand ****** ******* or fusion first
  once a soul comes into awakening and knowing that it exists in a realm beyond the physical,
parents in Atlantis and Lemuria would then teach them about astronomy, astrology, history, sacred geometry, the arts, philosophy and generally galactic anthropology
with this evolution man was able to do what we'd call prayer and meditation today
   this connection with the Divine was man experiencing the Universe with the Father of this Universe, God, Enjilou, first, before journeying spiritually with anyone else
  Upon full growth, integration, upgrade and completion, only then would man, male or female seek a partner replicating his or her vibration, complementing his or her resonant frequency
  at this time both partners were evolved spiritually, etherically, mentally, physically and emotionally. From this bandwidth comes the coalescent enregy we call love
    with this energy both partners could explore the Universe, connect with the Divine and travel astrally or physically, mentally or psychically; finding ways to be together because they were sharing love

it was from these stellar travels that the couple would find a place to house their love, growing in understanding of each other
  -- they then made love, this was before marriage was created, for they were both married or bonded with God first and had understood and identified their place in the Universe
   from frequent love-making, clusters would be created from the third-energy that comes from the fusion of the two souls
the more this happened the couple would want to find a soul that represents them both best through the eyes of Divinity
then they would search for a star or a star system that complements both their energies (one that would allow them to fuse) then they can create a new star, what we can call a baby
    being birthed like a bang or a clash landing by an astronaut; which is why new-borns are clothed in space-suits to this day
     following the guidelines of the Law of One which govern creation: the lives of new-borns of babies are not compromised


Secondly the problem was that of food,
avatars have been sent to Earth throughout the ages to teach humans about harnessing the energy of Sun Food through manufacturing and farming
there has been a teacher in the Hindu religion, a prophet in the Islam religion, doctors from the Celtic Faith... All abjudicating the importance of harnessing the energy we receive, including rain, to produce food that is healthy for our bodies
   it is needless to say that there was no junk food then or many meals in a day, a bowl of leaves could last a child for weeks
   this information would be distorted and destroyed as many trees have been destroyed and mines have been opened to further eradicate the evidence
   it shouldn't be farfetched that man has a sacred and real connection to divinity, man is able to engage in ******* with angels, angels who will then cleanse his or her chakras, all this through a diet of mind, body, heart and soul
   cleaning out negative energies and inviting in healing positive energy
but how? Well if the body is a temple then your house that you live in should be a megastructure, how you take care, maintain that megastructure will have an impact on your body which is a temple
likewise how you take care of your body which is a temple will make you aware of the dysfunction and disturbance going on in your megastructure
  so you plant a tree and learn if you are responsible enough to sustain it
  then you will know that you can be responsible for yourself and become a watchdog being careful of how you eat, then you jog and swim. Pray.
These healthy habits have been disturbed by malicious doctrines of religion that promote animal and child sacrifice. Where problems should be sacrificed so we can emerge victorious as humans, achieving our goals getting closer to our dreams. These disturbances have been getting in the way of how we eat, what we eat, disturbing how we connect as souls resonating in the tender vibrations of love. Not the malignant greedy ambitions of tenders stemming from governing bodies high above. These disturbances have manifested the births of children  who are lost, don't stay in school, engage in drugs, early pregnancy and monopolizing the destinies of those children for selfish agendas. This then makes a dumbed-down and misguided race that keeps on forgetting where it comes from and thus constantly questions where it is going. It is with one's own discretion and will to choose to be better and connect with the divine to make one's path and journey here on Earth clearer so we can fulfill our purpose. The Pleiadeans love you all. Namaste
Livia Oct 2015
Apparently I was yelling in my sleep.
What I was yelling about I didn't know.
I pretend to not have any fears,
But I am the most scared person I know
Snakes, darkness, not being good enough...
I've dreamt about those before.

Over the summer I gained a new fear;
Falling.
Not just psychically, but mentally as well.
Falling into a pit of self-pity and depression...
Feeling everything as my body and mind shatters.
Being aware as my life gets destroyed.

Nightmares I can deal with,
But the haunting feeling of this one hasn't left me.
No one was there to hear
My petrified screams as the ground disappeared
I couldn't be saved... no one saw me fall and I knew this.
But I still cried out the scream that woke me...

*"Please don't! Don't let me fall! Please!"
Welp, true story. Depressing but whatever.
flamingogirl Mar 2021
Those I love the most
but are psychically distant
know the least about me.
I miss our deep talks and constant life updates. ******* corona virus.
Man Jun 2023
Ever change?

I need a connection,
That was true. But,
Something in your inflection
Hints at misdirection,
Reeks of lies.

You don't want me, psychically
It's no longer frustration,
But more so consternation, over
What I feel I must do

With no choice

Mute, but you hate my tongue
And cringe every time you hear my voice.
Displacement, over all
You can place it on me

And if I leave,
Like you are absent,
Will you be like me?
Left, wanting.

No
Sahra Maxwell May 2013
Young girl
Dumb girl
How many times are you going to think he’s the right one
How many times are you willing to get hurt
Mentally
Psychically
Be careful
You’ll get a bad reputation
I know you
You pretend to be strong
But you’re weak so weak
How many times will you allow him to break you down
You’re to young
I want to protect you
But I’m no better than you
I fall just as hard
And as fast
Im impulsive
And weak
But I want to change that
I want to help you
But what could I do
What if this time he’s the right one
Or
What if he’s just like the others
All the broken promises
All the heartbreak
We’ll never truly know
Until it’s to late
Why must we bare the burden of young love
They think its dumb
And it is
They say it wont last
And it probably wont
But we still look for it
Hoping
That maybe
Just maybe it’s him
That he’ll be able to fix all the hurt
Always saying
Maybe next time
Maybe next time?
How many next times will there until you know
Is it even worth it?
I guess we’ll just have to wait
We’ll find out together
We’ll go through the pain together
We’ll do it all together.
But
Maybe next time we wont be so young and dumb.
Ashley Williams Jan 2015
Wracking--
Body and mind;
Emotions fly
High
On confusion.

Adrenaline:
Physically slowed;
Psychically blown
Out of the sky
By commotion.
- Jun 2013
No amount of alcohol
could make me numb out
the thoughts of you in my head
Desire, lust, love
I have the symptoms
of all of the above
You fit me well
like a glove
You fill me up
like alcohol fills up
an empty glass
You're the champagne
of the night
the thrill I seek
my medicine
my remedy
my one need
You're the venom
without the poison
the love, my hunger it feeds
You set my body free
Spiritually
Emotionally
*Psychically
© Natali Veronica 2013.
HIS
EVERTYHING
RIGHT

Wanting you has left my soul suffocating...
Never realizing the length I would go to please you.. guilty by submission..becoming submissive inspite of me not belonging to you..pleasing you always came first..but for you its H.E.R...you say you prefer natural hair...I grew locs in spite of my free spirit that leads me to do a big chop annually...because to me that's me removing all the bad reminders...but for you I made that scarfice..inspite of you wanting H.E.R .....blemished skin...scars of heartache and pain...proclaiming you prefer naturally flawed..over  this mac bottle that makes me feel completely irresistible because unlike other things it hides scars of what made me who I am...but for you I allow this bottle to go untampered with..unlike my heart always being tampered with...but H.E.R...is constantly on your mind.. never taking a moment to realize me putting you first...your only thoughts is of ....H.E.R..how to please and cater to H.E.R every desire...and need... "she has potential to make you happy"...when it's me that constantly strive to make you happy...consistantly taking you in deep until my muscles become weak...I can't compete...because even though I get on my knees and **** you deep...I'm still not H.E.R...and just because I made you ***** in one of your many random places...in fear of pro life with M.E because its H.E.R you desire..I've allowed my soul to weep...because by next week I'll be back in your sheets... giving you all of me...like a piece of prime meat..enough of me to fill what makes you weakkk..never understanding you want me mentally but her psychically...but she doesn't want you psychically...so you imagine H.e.r while doing M.e?  I'm done with never being enough... but always too much for you...let her learn or care to know that you like a person that listens..you're a closed book..that pays attention to vivid detail..you do from the heart with happiness as a form of payment...liking your women of somewhat of a variety but not too much of a variety because if you lived in a world of H.E.R.'s you would be completely satisfied because her outer is what sets your soul on fire...allowing yourself to linger on what little she's gives because she's da bomb in everyway..bomb enough for you to hurt the feelings of someone that would've given you the world..but because my **** ain't "perky" and I'm not a size 8 my validation..means nothing....being super thick is more superficial..I'm self reliant..thick in all the right places..constantly loving you in all the wrong places....I'm not H.E.R I am M.E....My Everything on repeat...repent at my feet because my heart has always been on repeat...you have made me weak...we haven't spoken in weeks...
Nikki.the.goddess
Love yourself first
Lucy Tonic Nov 2011
No one came before them
The original gangsters
Took a leap of faith
Found nothing is fixed (perhaps)
Silent progression an its svelte curved finger
Starting our engines, we dived through the door
Roaring regression, salute of four fingers
Down is the price that we paid to stand up
Back to the bricks, carved in a niche
It never told us we'd have to buy shoes
Flashes of future opened a portal
A game made of blocking, where no one can lose
Born with our minds blown
We've sure kept our eyes on the prize
Even dumb, dark and pegged
We'll still have our picture books
Our consciousness needs a hug and a kiss
Incinerate cyclic denial
Insinuate a means of escape and
Psychically break with your own form of exit
Shauna Oct 2014
Dad
Rhymes with bad
And mad
Which is what
He always is;
Although now psychically here
He's mentally at the closest alcohol store

Now facing reality
He is a free man
Who should be trying
To be a better person
And father
But once again
He gripped onto a bottle
And purchased
More drugs
Because
Instead of putting
His life back together with glue
He's using his usual
escape

In the end
He is more like
An abandoned house
With echoing halls
And large cracks
In the foundation
And spiderwebs
Covering the walls
Which symbolize
His heart
Because
It stopped working
The day he left
Without a goodbye
Or
"I love you"
Just
A slam
Of a door

Its sad
That I am
Not surprised
That he
Disappeared
Once again
Without
A word
And instead
Has taken
To drowning
In
A bottle
Of *****
Somewhat of a part two of "Daddy's Little Bundle of *******."
TR3F1LD Jun 3
sometimes I̲ wish I could
go back to the time of late childhood & youth
not that that tI̲me was real good (overall)
but those days bY̲gone were some—
—what pleasura[—]ble years
less stress, bother, more fun
while the last several years
have been, like a vengeance by a psychically mU̲cked up per-son
[for example: Jennifer Hills; Beatrix Kiddo; Arthur Fleck]
a mental nightmA̲re (kind of)
[adult life is burdensome & this world is terrible, for the most part]
it's been felt like being stuck inside a **** loop
not the tY̲pe some would choose
there's been some deli̲ght, but the blues
and other negatives have been piling up tO̲
a qua[ɑ]ntum that you'd find somewhat tough to consume
as far as p[ɑ]ossible, you try to rU̲n from the gloom
but, in the end, the dismals hunt ya
down, like you're Beatrix Kiddo fro[ʌ]m the
Tarantino's "Ki̲ll Bill" drama
targeted by the Deadly Viper hit crew
["The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad"]
[the 6th chapter of "**** Bill" called "Massacre at Two Pines"]
and the main thought that I̲'ve been pursued
of late by reminds me of
tragical vigila[ɛ]nte-turned guys, because
it says "nigh on nothing to lose" (nigh on nothing to lose)
besides, it seems li̲ke I have a sick psychopath inside me that
could use a punching bag, like a guy who has
to get prepped for a fighting match
that devil'd be satisfied to have
a mean au[ɑ]tocrat or another black
hat as a hostage to get the spleen dU̲mped on at
times when I'm ******, like sO̲meone af—
—ter having an alco binge; but, in fact
I'd be sO̲mewhat glad
if I̲ just smack or fling sO̲mething frac—
—turable so that the thing wI̲nds up smashed
it'd be nice to have a long-lasting bout of that
as far as possible, I satisfy this app—
—etite for demolition with vicious-sounding tracks
and rhyme-heavy lyrics with evil-minded crap
try to keep that sick **** sE̲rved with
so to speak, loco motifs (loco)
like rail vehicles; I've gotten a mI̲te sidetracked
["locomotives"; "like rail vehicles [,] I've gotten a mite sidetracked"]
let me rewind a tad
the thought that I've been pursued
by saying "nigh on nothing to lose"
as for saved-up money, I would
say there ain't much someone li̲ke me can do
with it; since we can't buy different realities to
live in, I've been thinking... (thinking) of buying a new
PC (for a long while)
[not "new" in the sense of "recently developed"]
as if I were some ****** tycoon
dealing with private military company bull—sh#t
["PC" stands for a number of things, one of which is "personnel carrier"]
[hence "tycoon dealing with private military company bullsh#t"]
a PC, for games are something I'm used
to & that can make hI̲gh someone who's
got pro[ɑ]blems with mood (problems with mood)
neither drown so[ɑ]rrows in *****
nor get high on dO̲pe when I'm low
get lifted up by music listened to by me bO̲th when I'm home
and when I'm outdO̲O̲rs for a stroll
and as someone sometimes
spending some time on O̲U̲tdoor strolling, I'd note
one downright downside
regarding U̲rbanized zones
which is go[ɑ]ddamn mO̲torized road
vehicles: much noise evoken by those
started; that's so much provoking you hope
to find a grenade launcher with a whole lO̲t of
respective rounds to throw a fine show (hell yeah!)
what about drivers &, maybe, passengers present
inside? well, those are so-ca[ɔ]lled
"collateral da[ɛ]mage"
[just in case, I'm joking]
[I just hate motorized road transport for annoying noise it generates]
that's like a GTA-like game come
to life; music ain't one, but the main love
on this dark track to nO̲where I go (track to nowhere)
we're together till the moment I croak
(unless, of course, I̲ end up placed)
(into a mental asylum someday)
————————————————————————————————
since I've brO̲U̲[ɑ]ght up this subject (music)
what should've been dO̲ne's to place mo'
lines with cO̲[ɑ]ntent regarding
it inside this O̲ne; mid-paced so
called "dark clubbing" & dA̲rk synth
some slowed phonk, complextro
trap & hip-**̲[ɑ]p beats, & ro[ɑ]ckish
electronic stuff from Zardo[ɑ]nic
or I can use some lines from a prior-writ pro[ɑ]ject
of mine; went from somewhat generic electro[ɑ]nic
sh#t, both ba[ɛ]ngers & melo[ɑ]dic
ones, to heavier & dA̲rk sh#t, however, I, regardless
still dig some graves, like a fellow with boneY̲A̲rd shifts
[Christian Mochizuki, better known as graves]
[the last 4 lines are from "a depressive rhymefall"]
"nigh on nothing to lose" by TR3F1LD (TRFLD) is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (to view a copy of this license, visit creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0)

As Harvey Dent from "The Dark Knight" said, you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
Amanda Stoddard Aug 2014
Every inch of my being is tired,
exhausted really, or some other form of the word
that I can't quite think of because my mind is on auto-pilot.
and I can't exactly put into words how I feel right now
without sounding ******* crazy but basically-
I'm tired of wanting to see my hand go completely through a wall
and not exactly know why I want to let loose on everything around me.
I'm tired of one day wanting to ******* from the face of the earth
and the next loving every single tree and blade of grass there is.
The irritation isn't worth the euphoria
but the euphoria makes everything else seem worthy.

I have traced my hand on paper and turned it into something,
like a thanksgiving turkey or a cool art project
just so I am reminded that these hands can hold more things
and touch more people than I could ever imagine
all I have to do is utilize these words and harness them
into something, something other than rage and fury.
I'm so ******* tired of feeling like I am running a race
while wearing weights around my ankles
and a lock around my mind so I can't think of anything else
except the circumstance I am in right now.

Why is negativity so easy?
When everything else is so ******* hard
and I'd like to think it's because nothing good comes from negativity.
All good things come from positivity right?
Well what about to nights I want to be alone
but the whole world is on my back pushing me to maintain
and everyone is hovering around me with expectations and worries
But all I have to do is reply with a simple,
I don't feel well and it all vanishes.
But this isn't the life I want to live,
constantly feeling nothing but pain,
physical and psychical what the **** is the difference?
Because physically you're in pain it makes you psychically in pain
Vice Versa. Vice Versa. Vice Versa.  
This is why every vice we have like cigarettes and ***** are bad
because nothing good comes from the bad things.
So why are there any bad things at all?

I  would like at least once
to write and really think about what I write,
and get somewhere magical.
Write the best ******* **** i've ever laid eyes on-
But then I start and I get so enthralled in my stream of conscious
I am not longer in control of what my hands type,
it's like a teleprompter in my head leading the way.
I wish it all made sense.
I wish I believed in god and heaven-
that it would make all of this easier but it doesn't.
if god exists why do I see ghosts of lives past
creeping behind closed doors in the light of day?
Why in the **** is there so much corruption in the church?
You would think he would try to stop us,
but maybe this is the plan.

Maybe depersonalization is actually just being one with the universe.
and maybe manic depression is just reminding us
how we can harness the intensity of our emotions-
because I've felt that dry wall cling to the knuckles
on my fragile hands and ever since then I've never felt so alive,
but I look at the damage and start to worry what my father will think.
How will I mend what I spent so little time breaking?
Dayana Young Mar 2014
I'm ever so incapable
of holding a grudge

When I look at a person
I see how miserable they are
how pathetic they are
how they struggle for survival in this emotionally and psychically exhausting place we call our city, our state, our country, our world

I know that they think about putting a noose around their neck, just as often as I do, as anyone

so I apologize with no apology in return and go on about my day

and I guess
that's just how it is

-d.y.
Spooky Babe Jul 2019
I blame myself for not being enough
Within my voids, you found her to fill
And now she owns half of your heart
To know the truth, ******* kills

Does she love you better than I do?
Does she make you feel brand new?
Does she make you feel electric?
Or give you a feeling you don’t wanna lose?

When you tell her “I love you”
And when she tells you it back
Is that what you’ve been missing?
Has she been picking up my slack?

Every day without me
Is another day with her
Maybe not psychically
But enough for you to lure

My mind is my worst enemy
It constantly mocks me of the pain
And where I went wrong along the way
It drives me ******* insane

I can’t ever forgive myself
For not loving you properly
I ruin the all the things I love
So why does this come as a shock to me?
When did we get here? I wanna do back
July 7th, 2019
3:41pm
Dayana Young Apr 2014
I'm ever so incapable
of holding a grudge

When I look at a person
I see how miserable they are
how pathetic they are
how they struggle for survival in this emotionally and psychically exhausting place we call our city, our state, our country, our world

I know that they think about putting a noose around their neck,  themselves just as often as I do, as anyone

so I apologize with no apology in return and go on about my day

and I guess
that's just how it is
Nicole Whitticar Jan 2018
I admire your name as if I wear it like a chain around my neck
I speak your name as if you pulled out of me the answers everyone
Had been searching for-
Is it psychically possible for you to be my other half without actually
Being mine?
I will never know the answer to many things- crossword puzzles, history exams,
Why addiction takes over the vulnerable; but with you, answers come spewing out of me
And often times the only option I have is to display them poetically.
For everyone to see but you
The first time we masked each other with each other's scent I was far from the truth- easily forgetting your name along with the way you made my whole body collapse, with a simple touch.
So long after I thought you had disappeared, you return
and my head- instantly filled with memories of you.
Awkward encounters, blushed cheeks and nervous hellos that made you irresistible.
If this dream of mine that you so favorably take part in vanishes with the alarming sound of reality I will so dearly hold these memories in mind and keep them to remind myself of someone who made me feel like the sun.
Mark Wanless Apr 2018
"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XXVII "

Voluntary        imagination at
Work      hard sculpting reasoned movements
Fromout conditioned reflexed brain twitches
Happening right before our very eyes
We excrete whys that prove us right no matter
What no matter what the i sees i as i has
To see i to be the i approved of
Ninety percent habit don't fit the worn
Image      ninety percent habit not seen !!!
Astonishingly the rotting elephant
Carcass is overlooked      isn't there      dropped
Through the hole in the universe in mind
Psychically taking consciousness with it
Leaving us with mystic questions hard pressed
After revoking themselves from the transposed swords that slightly decreased in size, they uncrossed them to size it to the historical size that actually conserved them. They were the existing Xiphos that began to be delineated over sixty centimeters, which figured from what separated them before turning through the nearby heights of the Thuellai. After separating both when detaching themselves from the ribs of the Xiphos, they thus penetrated the light of the Empyrean, cutting the bastions of the dreamlike attire that had them articulated, nailing each of the Xiphos in the calcaneus as Vernarth executed before entering in the fight of the site of Gaugamela with the Falangists. In this way, they both took the Xiphos and synchronously pierced the crossed swords in each calcaneal bone of each foot, but across so as not to incite the Gods of Olympus, to hold the Angels and the God of the Seventh Heaven. They were left with the iron-bronze on their feet with a short encysted difference, and with the spears that the hoplites mainly before adopted with Vernarth in the charge of the Phalanx that was towards the shadow of a famous change of climate control that was splendid of the dying Kassotide, making these swords more invulnerable and deleterious.

Seventh Necropolis of Messolonghi
Parapsychological  Ellipsis

Vernarth came as if they had just come out of the Kassotide escarpment, resembling the imitations of repetitive interference on the assessment of re-invading Xerxes in what personifies him. Alexander the Great had already expedition this sea of the Hellespont and this time he would do it together with his egregious Commander Vernarth. What they had to reach together were the dominated geographical limits and their experiences, even what the conquest of Heles meant due to his resurrection from mythology or submitology, perhaps inquiring this as if it had not existed, or if it had been more preponderant when leaving his image as a hagiography that received a concussion and that pain never lets him overcome being on guard towards the front of the wind that hurts the autobiographies, of whom if he knows how to read the degree of the works with his maximum oratory, metaphorizing and adjusting in revolting voices alembicated of Messolonghi Seventh Cemetery.

The vapors of evil followed the converted spaces of other bodies that regained life, here the ears were clipped with songs from Hades, which from Messolonghi came to constitute before the fight with the revived war spirits of Dario III. Before reaching Skalá they felt impassive nascent airs that were emanated from the underworld, from where the tribulation would constitute unhappy chambers that revealed the bodies of the Achaemenids who woke up bilocadly in Patmos, they were transhumed from the aldehyde vapors that made them breathe themselves and supposedly insightful. The visions of this cemetery were made vacant to receive the casts that would fall after the fight on the heights of Skalá, where the weak and daring would be condemned before the natural graves that would reconvert them into precious ornaments of the Kassotide Trench from Delphi, to revive them in the stench that is greater than that of the corruptible human being.
The Seventh Cemetery would be the genesis of the global warming concept of the modern world grafted onto the atmospheric leitmotif of the Kassotides. The Anunnaki will rebuild the bones of those who no longer had them, and of the shattered bodies that were advancing in those who would occupy the void of the Messolonghi necropolis with dust from rubble from other bones covered with Cinnabar decanted with the Antiphon, and with the airs of trial where all the prescriptions lyricized a general funeral apostille that authorized an eternal dimension, which swirled through the dry nails of some who did not overcome the fear of existing, knowing that they would risk a thousand years without the universe that made them the son of a father from Andromeda, where enemies and friends would decree the global changes that would originate from the first-century b. C., the first consigne of the meetings that would alert the efficacy of containing a ****** and constant abyss of supernatural power, further away than that of a God who leaves behind the atonements that sustained him in the immediate ideology from the Seventh Heaven to the Seventh Cemetery of Messolonghi that tried to intercede between syntagmas that came from the shady fifth of the Helleniká Necropolis. The weaknesses that actually had to be imposed were increasing, and everything that could be solved becomes a disturbing renter of Drestnia, who would intervene with the enlightened when coming from Kalidona. Many stayed in the circles of abstention derived from the first Messolonghi Cemetery, from where Drestnia was alienated to get rid of attachments to mortuary remains, which every hundred centuries were physically and psychically absent from all the astral storms of Andromeda.

The climatic changes began to take shape in the whole world from the paralysis of the office of the Oracles of Delphi in 391 b.C. Since the moat of the Kassotides began to vary its alchemical tributary, after centuries in the bars of the bastions of the feminine brotherhood of Pythias and Sybilla's, everything was detached towards the physics of the globe with incessant rectangular impulses that emanated cylindrical emanations that radiated from Messolonghi, cleaning itself of the implanted grafts that were intended to replace the ex-karst nature of the Dodecanese, in the aerodynamics from which the impatient eyes look. The seventh necropolis was dissipating from three hundred cylindrical hectares, which would finally bequeath to the Archon who would define waiting for the de-demonization of the colossal shadows, after the few minutes of existence that were subtracted.
Seventh Necropolis of Messolonghi
i spend my days
rearranging
data on the computer
my machine
is almost psychically
connected to its user
everything is laid out logically
in this universe of illusion
to take a step away
into the chaos reign
of the real world
is an intrusion
soon be back again
sustenance attained
level up
and on with the mission
in the only game
ill willingly play
waiting to waste away
in front of the television
james nordlund Dec 2019
Sleep came to me 4 times this morn’,
even though torture awakened me
after a short time, betwixt.
A blessing compared to days before.
Severely psychically attacked
while my soul stood strong.
There but for Thee’s grace go I.

My father a tank, a beat down for hours,
I 1 3/4, wasn't speaking yet, wouldn't
'til 3, he wouldn't stop knocking me out,
each time I'd awake, immediately stand,
never cry a tear, I knew better
and something's very wrong with him.
I couldn't hate then and would never.

Non-humancentricity, how to be, all life
are needed threads in life’s fabric,
that cannot be allowed to be torn
asunder, walking within nature’s balance,
giving back to it’s abundance,
is not only sage advise,
it’s required for earthly life.
Many have grown up in severe military households, so I'm sure you can appreciate.  Thanx for all you do, have a great eve'   :)   reality
Chey Jan 2021
You always said I would never lose you but you lied.

Even though you’re psychically here you are not mine anymore.

Days and days go by, i sit back and watch you live your happiest live with her while,

I’m drowning.

Drowning in the thought of us, the “what’s ifs” and the “should haves”

But that’s how I got myself into this right?

What if you loved me?
Should I have held on tighter when you held my hand?
What If I am the one for you but you just can’t see it?
Should I confess my feelings and see where they take me?

No.

Because you love her and I love you.
Go figure it was her over me.
Nhlekeleza Sep 2018
Am I plastered?
Drunk or just hanging?
Taking a dunk or just sagging?
I am given to aphorisms
Morals that build us for a reason
Trying to keep us out of mental prisons
Words have me in a haze and I cannot erase these thoughts  that keep running in an entrancing maze.

Metamorphosis. There are matters that enforce this energy which is engorged within a metaphysical force. I use my fingers to pick up a pen so to expel a thought that lingers in my pineal gland.

Goodness. It is grace amazing that is in this place or just a god or the God who shows off his face. We are presented with a gift perennial that is wrapped with mystery. In mists the fists of fate take a swing and if we believe in the unseen we can trust grit and transcend beyond wit. Train our senses to be lit so they can send us beyond -ism's to the essence of goodness.

Locomotion. In my local state I give up my locale to some divine logic gate. I dial in to wire my mental coiling to follow a calling to inspire. Ever the wiser I should soar to the mystic spheres. But ground there is insulation and my calculation computes a technical movement in my skeletal. I am moving locating my next step, relaying locomotives which are concentric energy.

Soigné. A fine dame I dare meet on a fine day. So Ignorant of her beauty I parlay my chances with a few words of jest and curved zest to interact with her invitational tract. If I have a chance in fact I will make a pact to be with her throughout the days and forget about lustful tact. I resurge and her being is muse and to me it is a purge. I aim to converse with her for days and days so we can find confluence as we psychically converge. And I'll tell her that she is pulchritudinous and I am pale true to nought, waiting for my crafting.

Words or chords to find concordance. Some say say swords to slice and pierce and dictate worlds. I say they are mellifluous like a melody that sends a melancholy sadist out of his maladies. Magnanimously magnificent in moments of poetic artistry and meandering prose fixating methodically. From the mammary of the culinary belly we squeeze out these laid letters formed to mean but not to be mean to the means of our diction or magnify our addiction. Perhaps to quantify our intellect beyond the internet, we archive them in dictionaries and illustrate them in some encyclopaedia. Perhaps grunts and clicking of tongues is some medium... But words change the world where lords fail to write laws to keep us sane, and instead have swords forged to have any man slain.
Samara Dec 2018
didn’t expect it to hurt this bad
but betrayal cuts deep.

deeper than you would think
like a knife slowly digging its way
into your heart

i know why it’s called heartbreak
because it psychically hurts
my heart feels beat up
and my body on fire

death seems like an answer
even if it’s extreme
but why should this be the end
what have i done?
why did this happen?
why did i deserve this?
Mateuš Conrad Jan 2022
i've recently become a big fan of the Dune movie
from 1984... two year before my birth,
i won't go into the details...
but one detail really grew on me...
the idea of making a word a weapon: somehow
telekinetically charged to release a missile /
a laser shot: whatever...
where have i heard this "line" before... hmm...
oh... right... Revelation 13...
although... the beast didn't blaspheme against
the Hebrew deity: he would most likely
make foul oaths: *******, mate, e.g.,
i swear by the powers invested in me that
i will call the name the name: ha-shem...
but i will not utter the name

   Y       H
       Æ
   W     H

thinking cap on (well... a hat i found, female,
with a pon-pon, that's my 'czapka niewitka')
the Qabbalists might refer to the above
schematic as a magic sq.
a sudoku puzzle might be considered
a "magic sq."

Æ? how did we begin, as sexless creatures...
self-reproducing,
   of the Adam and the Eva of the union...
that's how i see it... but i will not utter the name...
even if i uttered it, i wouldn't utter it like
Hindus of the Raj insert surd H's into their
words... dhal... e.g. you don't hark
you don't trill the R... you language is a *******
babble...

like the French like the English:
the people who have lost the clarity of phonetic
distinction, they were already sleeping together
given tongues concerned...
i'm the ******* barbarian who can speak...

ha... that thing with orcs... that meme...
they're supposed to represent black people...
you sure? i always thought of the Orcs as somewhat
Slavic, if not Slavic then mingling with the Turks
and the Mongols... only now... just now...
have the Africans started migrating...
all those years prior, sitting on their ***** in
the sunshine of the equator...
but the Slavs: the Russian menace?
the knocking on the door of Europe by the Mongols
and the Ottoman Turks?!
Caucasian folk... most of the time i think that
Africans are docile creatures...
esp. up North during the winter months...

you really have to get used to the cold:
to build up an acute sense of something...
in the warmth: no wonder the former great civilisations
are now ****-holes...
you can do so much more in the warmth...
check your ******* privilege...
up north, when winter comes...
good luck with staging intellectual discussions...
good luck painting, writing...
sure... the desert can also **** you...
but there's a slight difference between
being cold and being hot...
ask the insects... where the **** are they?
oh... hibernating, returning to their embryotic strategy:
waiting it out...

right... Orcs depict black people... huh?!
ah ha ha ha ha!
deluded western liberals...
  i don't even know what that word means...
even if i prefix it with: classically liberal...
what the ****'s that?!
i don't literally know, i always thought myself
as liberty first: liberty thirst...
i don't even know...

those lines from Revelation 13 though and Dune...
the weapons they used... they used words
channeled psychically into a weapon and: whoosh!
a blast!

Revelation 13: 5 through to 7

5
the beast was given a mouth to utter proud words
and blasphemies and to exercise his
authority for forty-two months.
6
he opened his mouth to blaspheme god,
and to slander his name and his dwelling
place and those who live in heaven.
7
he was given power to make war against
the saints and to conquer them.
and he was given authority over every tribe,
people, language and nation.

does anyone even know how many people of
this world currently reside in London?
my last estimate read at counting over 200+ tongues...

i just told you that i am celebrating the name
of the god of Abraham - i will not utter it...
i'll say ***** little ****-wit ******* but
i will not utter that name,
or for that matter all the names bound to the tree
of life...

it seems like fair reparations for the Hebrews being
expelled from Europe in the manner they were
expelled... someone (like me) comes along
and has the nerve, the senses the intellect
to appreciate the Hebrew teachings...
oh look... it phonetically coincides with "something":
this "something" being akin to the name of
the Hebrew deity...

because what have the replacement "Jews" brought?
funny... Malta is an ultra-catholic nation...
island... yet their language is a bit ****** up...
they call gott: allah... true... check it out...

i mean: since the 19th century! there has been an identity
crisis, if not beginning with Nietzsche,
then unto not...
i could possibly pull of looking like
the depiction by Luca Signorelli...
if i grew my hair long once more... eh...
long hair... too much hassle... plus donning a beard
and having long hair is not befitting a man these days...
long hair + a beard = no, no... no no... a bigger NO-NO...

because there's a horde of people who "think"...
whatever it is that they "think"...
beside the cosmopolitan messiah's preaching...
expulsion of the Hebrews from their land,
the exodus up north summated by a genocide...
it's not even like the Hebrew constructed the barracks
and the chimneys of the crematoriums,
or the ghostly gas chambers...
so... where are the supposed pyramids of the north?!
nowhere to be found...

good enough that while i write this i have auditory
hallucinations: that i speak two tongues...
one tongue silences the other tongue....
i hear LOSER... that word gets lost, somewhere:
"somewhere" in my labyrinth...
i'm yet to find a psychiatrist that might
talk to a bilingual schizophrenic: supposed "schizophrenic":
the entire world is more mad than me...
i'm pretty tame by comparison:
i'm about to make some pork schnitzels, poach young
tatties and make a miseria (a cucumber salad)...
some asparagus on the side if anyone might be gagging...

that the people kept crying wolf...
wolf and wolf did come...

oh Gemma, Gemma, Gemma... can i call you mother Gomorrah?
i'm not even thinking about ******* her...
i am thinking about ******* her, but...
like the ancient Roman tradition of surrogate fatherhood...
i'm actually thinking about her 11 year old son...
that's how things we done in the past...

because how is passing on my genes
important when... those same genes get halved
in their immediacy, a half becomes a quarter,
a quarter becomes an eighth... an eighth a sixteenth:
so and so ad nauseam...
but passing on an idea...        mein gott!
it's like gambling with your own body's
disqualifications to reproduce properly...
to breed Spartans... perhaps not even so much
as to breed... pickling-intellects of Athens...
something... in-between...

              imagine that, working on a little Frankenstein:
sure... not my own... all the better...
the woman is always a side-"thing"...
i'm curious about the child...
maybe that's what makes single mothers so attractive...
there's a chance i can mould a child
in my own image...
you know, dear reader, where this is going:
and god made man in his own image...

that's what making me so butterfly-riddled in
the stomach... the fact that she's 39 and still attractive
is one thing... i took note when she took note
that at Oxford two younglings... 18? petite blondes
took interest in me... she had to double down...
well... that's certainly bragging:
i'm bragging that i'm observant...
sure... you can have the Lamborghini and the yacht...
i'm pretty content with my lungs,
my eyes, my arms and my legs...

i nawet krucjaty dotarły do mojej ziemi!
a więc sam czas dotarł do mnie: aby mnie obudzić...

people have taken the matter oh too lightly...
Hey-Zeus knows... if i might just tease him a little....
he might just come round a second time...
the wandering stars are proof...
i believe this might be translated as:
searching for a host...

                   i'm currently working with a... wow...
a Latvian... better learn some Latvian...

SVEIKI DRAUGS (hello friend)...
    KAA IR JUUSU DIENA (DZIEŃ)
aha... dzusu or yusu?!

sorted... it's unavoidable to merely ask about
so many coincides coming together,
the great fire of London come 1666...
come on... if anything is to be more blatantly obvious...
it's this, it's this: now... diese: jetzt!

i mean: i could be considered an egoist,
a solipsist... but then again: i share my head
with a quadratic, two tongues and hallucinations
(auditory) in two tongues, towing shrapnel of
Latin and Hebrew... mostly presuppositions
and conjunctions of the latter two tongues...
i once owned a cat, kid you not,
that between meows and other onomatopoeias
spoke to me the word: JABEŁ:
in english the translation would read
as y'ah'b'eh'w... the "stand-alone" W doesn't
have to be a "double-u": it can be a dive into
a simple word like W'hen... or W'heather...
you just don't say the word, just stress the first sound
about to be made...

too many coincides have come together to be called
coincidences...
oh Gemma... why am i thinking about Frankie?
i see them at football matches,
Leeds fans... some drunken dad going mental
over a football match... the young boy he has with him
sort of feels embarrassed...
i yawn... because: it's a football match...
i'll enjoy the game... but: support a team?
you'll sooner find me dead than in a football jearsey...

because: like i ******* care...
i care that i'm not reading Locke and instead decided
to take up the German Idealism route of
sorting boxes from rocks... mountains from seas...
that's me!

Orcs are a depiction of black people... ha ha...
what was the last place that Africans invaded?!
Rwanda was close... having invaded themselves...
that's how the Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth
was dismantled... the elites of said: entity
became sado-masochists and wanted to hurt themselves...
it's always the same:
and their own do it unto their own because...
they're just "out of it"...
some people just want to see the world burn
around them...
                                 they are psychopaths, sociopaths...
whatever you want to diagnose them with:
basically cowards... cucks...

they experienced too much of life to know what
merely existing implies:
deriving pleasure from merely thinking is a good start...
but, no...
that's not on the table...
like yesterday... a trip up to Oxford became revelatory...
i had a quasi-Ramadam teaser...
i didn't eat anything from sunrise to sunset...
sure, i had a coffee and a cigarette... but no food...
after sunset i tried to turkey-feed myself
some vegetarian wraps...
can you imagine how painful it was to ingest anything?

to hell with a ritualistic month...
i'll do a Ramadam on the sly, impromptu...
i figured... well at least being hungry allows me
to focus on other things...
being filled, being nourished might leave me sloppy
when observing people for potential danger;
so i do that.
Nope!, this aint a
     (non) commercial
     Christmas plug for ye,
nonetheless, a greeting
     of joie de
     vivre buttressed with
     (wreath) in this ole
     foreign nicked saint wannabe

awash with spiritual
     awakening unexpectedly
     alighting boosting, and catapulting,
     the mood of this
     dog gone intro
     spective atheistic he
then for merely "actively listening,"
     sans texting to me,

(thine youngest daughter) hook
     confided a circumstance,
     that found her teary
eyed, whereat papa (meself)
     galvanizing enervating,
     and bold facing
     (italicized optional),
     a decades long glee

(son) doting dada, (me)
hood did earlier today
      underwent spiritual reawakening
     experience, where poignant see
movie ling ushered
     emotional concessions prithee
lee transcending, and super see
ding ordinary **-hum

     (oh so yesterday...)
psychologically (or psychically)
     escalating euphoria juiced being
     a humble papa
     yes sir re:
vicariously afflicted when,
     Shana Aubrey (said
     nineteen year old pro genie),

(who lives under
     auspices of mine
     kid sister in
     Bend, Oregon – Voluntarily)
painfully shared her recent
     (first) beaming, blooming,
     and budding romance
     rendered null and void

primarily duet who wah
     bajillion geographical miles
from Colchester, Great
     Britain, where she
(mine offspring) under
     parental care of thee

guardian (angels) Shari Todd,
and George Andrew Dunning
     supreme qual lit tee
aunt and uncle respective lee)
spent propitious year,
     whence har mo' knee
me lass struck up,
     and young lad o' a louver she

discovered without visa vis,
where, the young chap Zak)
     broke off (figuratively smote) long
     distance elle la gee.

Gnome hatter at my helpless state
hive hilt that being privy at any rate
which parental aye deed eek quate
with darling daughter as a mature primate.
Alex McQuate Nov 2022
It zips forward and past,
Through and around,
Tick Tock goes the hazy clock,
Apples decay to fuzzy and shriveled husks,
Beside blooming lilies.

Just five and a half years,
Transformation in the oddest of ways,
arriving bitter and broken,
Moving along this next path as excited and improved.

Momentum gaining,
like breaking into a run downhill,
where any moment's hesitation brings devastation and disorientation,
Heartbeat hammering from a stone solid 50 to 105,
is it anticipation that drives this acceleration.

Ecstasy of movement and insanity,
like feather brushes of fae-like intent,
getting lost in fogs of spirituality and philosophy.
Brutal momentum of guitar strings being finger picked,
Psychically projecting images of brutal revenge and bitter grief

Madness? No
******....

What are you, a cop?

Missing a step now,
the stumble turns into a tumble,
as the green of the grass flash past, as does the blue-white of the sky. Blue then green, blue then green,
blue green,blue green, blue green,
bluegreen, bluegreen, bluegreen
bluegreenbluegreenbluegreenbluegreen.

The hill turned out to be a cliff,
stomach roiling as I fall,
into some fantastic and manic vision below.
QUINN Apr 2018
Life is like a journey through the woods unexspectly with, a crystal clear vision of awarness into the darkness of negative, which we think that we have controll to be bold or to fold with our eyes close jumped into a whirl pool of tears sheds again hate or have friend to do good or have a sin, we can all smile again or at least a grin, walk through the storm again holding hands in a trance while listening to oldie's rock bands. Dont get what im staying baby making plans because our whole world does not end because we combine forces like captain planet, ill be damit falling from the universe is not my image, if so we will fall on a planet thats still standing. Strength is what I feel mentally and psychically, this strength is my will power energy.

— The End —