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"disowned" poems
You will never know The peace of acceptance Once you are finished Put to earth Life was harsher than the dirt Parents made you feel worthless Cause you wanted to wear a short dress Because you felt different Cut off Disowned Disavowed One friend after another disappears And no one hears The sobs No one feels the salty tears No one holds your hands Or offers you a hug You were ****** By the those who demand You conform Where there was no  warmth The clock cuts you bitterly Condemning you to be lonely And I cry all the more Knowing you won’t be the only one Not the only daughter wanting to be a son Not the only male that wants to be female Not the only soft face harden Or hard face softened till the sorrow overflows Till everyone you know closes the door And you disappear forever more
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Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015 at 7:05 AM UTC
To The Transgender Suicides
it is my birthday. but the world has long disowned me. honestly--I ask--why do I bother? as there must be something there for me--out in the viscera. for I, am still here. it is my birthday. but the public has long shunned me. faces thick as bedrock and eyes as dull as mint wrappers. and they use sound to blind them. it is my birthday. and no one seems to help. for it is not always happy to know, you're one day closer into the arms of the cease-r. it is my birthday. and words rule no meaning. for no one listens to me. and no one hears what I'm hearing. it is my birthday. and my marrow weakens as I breath. but bones sleep with welded lips 'neath the coat of earth. and--with shame--I shall, too, be nothing but empty research. it is my birthday. and I force myself to nature. O sand, is it true they pick you up and throw you in the wind? O sea, is it true you get stuck in the mouths and stomachs of the young? O hair, is it true you scream when the air beats you? but I don't hear--and I know many. it is my birthday. and I breath false air. is it true the ones that speak ill are on their death bed? is it wrong I wish for them to speed up time? is it wrong I point the reaper in their direction? so I needn't worry of their illness spreading to mine. it is my birthday. and we are all gathered for tea. the masochists sit by the sadists; that's the rule, so the sadist may draw that ball-point pen deep along their slate skin--and whisper the names of forgotten authors, so they may both moan with delicious harmony together--for two presents in one. it is my birthday. and the masochists ask me to join. they write each other's eulogies and revise--revise--'til there are none. it is my birthday. for now you know not, of what I wish, but what I need, a master. for I am not one. it is my birthday. and not all wishes deem true, for it seems no one cares of my words--my work--my blood--my tears-- a hymn to whomever it may concern--have you no mercy? it is my birthday. and I have not found them. I have not found the right. for only airless voices with no mouths, eyes that wish for many more, and souls that have lost time have found me. and I am one of them. and 'neath my heart, I always will be. for it is my birthday, and wishes don't come true.
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Jun 19, 2016
Jun 19, 2016 at 6:57 PM UTC
Birthday.
it is my birthday. but the world has long disowned me. honestly--I ask--why do I bother? as there must be something there for me--out in the viscera. for I, am still here. it is my birthday. but the public has long shunned me. faces thick as bedrock and eyes as dull as mint wrappers. and they use sound to blind them. it is my birthday. and no one seems to help. for it is not always happy to know, you're one day closer into the arms of the cease-r. it is my birthday. and words rule no meaning. for no one listens to me. and no one hears what I'm hearing. it is my birthday. and my marrow weakens as I breath. but bones sleep with welded lips 'neath the coat of earth. and--with shame--I shall, too, be nothing but empty research. it is my birthday. and I force myself to nature. O sand, is it true they pick you up and throw you in the wind? O sea, is it true you get stuck in the mouths and stomachs of the young? O hair, is it true you scream when the air beats you? but I don't hear--and I know many. it is my birthday. and I breath false air. is it true the ones that speak ill are on their death bed? is it wrong I wish for them to speed up time? is it wrong I point the reaper in their direction? so I needn't worry of their illness spreading to mine. it is my birthday. and we are all gathered for tea. the masochists sit by the sadists; that's the rule, so the sadist may draw that ball-point pen deep along their slate skin--and whisper the names of forgotten authors, so they may both moan with delicious harmony together--for two presents in one. it is my birthday. and the masochists ask me to join. they write each other's eulogies and revise--revise--'til there are none. it is my birthday. for now you know not, of what I wish, but what I need, a master. for I am not one. it is my birthday. and not all wishes deem true, for it seems no one cares of my words--my work--my blood--my tears-- a hymn to whomever it may concern--have you no mercy? it is my birthday. and I have not found them. I have not found the right. for only airless voices with no mouths, eyes that wish for many more, and souls that have lost time have found me. and I am one of them. and 'neath my heart, I always will be. for it is my birthday, and wishes don't come true.
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We were poets, Once, Hearts etched upon our sleeve The lords of our intent, Words bloomed for all to see. Each branch of thought considered, Chiseled, Whittled to express. Carving the forest in our likeness We paved the landscape with our breath. Woods would sway in idle days Sunkissed glades lay bathed in gold. Nights waylaid by dancing maids Cheap ale and tales of old. Fires burn, flames unfold. Though Embers remember Tender clutch of the cold. We tend to forget the bargained, The sold. Up rivers and creeks, Paddles, disowned by the meek, Cast away to distant shores.   Glades decay, Fade to grey. We become poets once more.
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Apr 13, 2017
Apr 13, 2017 at 4:01 AM UTC
Once Upon a Rhyme
Her lover was faithful But it was not kind. It took all of her dreams, And left them behind. Now she's withering, Like a dying flower. The addictive white dust, Stealing her by the hour. Her family disowned her , Her house reposessed. But her white dusty lover, Oh, it loved her the best.
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Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 4:40 PM UTC
*******
Long nights, dreaming He's beside you gently sleeping, away.. And when you wake up, as the Sun comes, You whisper 'I love you' to your one love, everyday But just because you're also a man, doesn't mean you can't love another And though you're safe and sound someone else has been disowned by their mother and it's not a nice town when you're getting beat up by one another, for loving who you love But this life is good, And his eyes are kind.. And your heart is big enough To forgive those who had the nerve to leave you behind And your words are so pure You've never meant anything more.. And even when you're getting called a bunch of names, It doesn't make you any less beautiful And just like how the sky is blue, This bond is strong.. And this love is love.
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Feb 1, 2015
Feb 1, 2015 at 2:08 PM UTC
(This) love is love.
Smoking weeds, drinking hard liquors. Party all night, til day light. Things that are new to me, things who understand me. When i'm feeling down, when no one is around. Gat Jose Rizal said "kabataan, pag-asa ng bayan." But society never guide me, they don't understand me, instead, they disowned me. Now, people of this society, who are you to judge me? I beg you to please guide me, because ignorance hit me.
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Jun 22, 2015
Jun 22, 2015 at 3:02 AM UTC
Ignorance
Miscommunication serendipity, anticipation, blurred reality - lost in the dialect of a dream, in pursuit of Love find callous irony; subversion of desire what's it all about? to know and be known. Mere seconds of scrutiny inferior, I am shown. Her appraisal eviscerating my warm flesh, her tilted criteria supplanting the interior, voluble with saccharine neologisms and preferences for the exterior. (not mine) Ironic was my attraction to her brain. Lines, features and symmetry, image - the commodity, aesthetics, the currency in this transaction, cursory liaison, incendiary, collapse of the insurgent ego - there was no us in the the affair of nothingness. Bruised in abasement, I'm not the one -   I thought I was. Hyperbole - the center of delusion, a curious diversion - avoid my life. The allure of the illusion, transference, the ordinary to the romantic, the perfect other. Searching, the absorbing project - aquiring wholeness, did she reject me? I rejected me. The escape into fraudulent sadness, to mourn, is to displace, the disowned heart by self is tragic.   Should I not mourn for the one I'm deferring? Inside of me It's safe, to lament the loss of identity - tension is agony without resolve sequestered, in my pain, self-imposed familiar terrain, upon retrieval, awaking in renewal, mystery and destiny providentially, I am free.
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Feb 14, 2012
Feb 14, 2012 at 8:08 PM UTC
Miss Communication
Can anyone tell me why I let myself live in this? Am I stuck in a room with no windows or doors? I used to bang on the walls with bruises on fists over tattooed wrists and faded scars that led to a hole in my chest that I filled with love for myself. “Love for myself”: You probably think that sounds conceited, right? But in all truth, it is the bitter opposite. I didn’t need any of you to save me. I figured it out on my own, like I always do. The fight in my gut emerged beyond skin, but I was never good enough here. I will never be good enough here. I spend my weeks on a seesaw between the highest praise and the lowest blows. Every word that takes off from my lips must turn and tumble in flight before reaching your ears. You hear me. You don’t listen. You twist me. You don’t illuminate. No, I am not like a daughter to you, and if you were my mother, I would have disowned you long ago. In fact, you really don’t know **** about me, because I don’t want you to. Too many people try to tell me how to live, as though I haven’t come to learn what is best for myself. I think, as someone who used to fantasize about her own death but has overcome that obstacle and must continue to work to keep that fight alive in herself every **** minute of her existence, I have the right to write you off as an imbecile to my life. You don’t own me. You don’t know me. You don’t even see me. I ripped away the heart sewn tightly to my sleeve a while ago and placed it in a treasure chest kept in a safe haven to which few hold the key. I hold the key. But I don’t go there often. You see, I never really get the chance. I just want the chance, just a little bit of time to hear the quiet hum of a life reformed, to stop and feel the breath in my chest, to feel each lung fill to the brim, and picture it nourishing every inch of my body as I press the “release” button. Can I press the “release” button? Can I close my eyes and be… just be, not do. Can I whisper my desires to the wind that moves around me? Can we tell secrets of our confusion, our struggles, our victories? Can I reside to the treasure chest, simply to fill back up? “E” is for empty. I was designed differently than you. I wasn’t made for this.
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Jan 2, 2014
Jan 2, 2014 at 12:38 AM UTC
Loyalty
Can anyone tell me why I let myself live in this? Am I stuck in a room with no windows or doors? I used to bang on the walls with bruises on fists over tattooed wrists and faded scars that led to a hole in my chest that I filled with love for myself. “Love for myself”: You probably think that sounds conceited, right? But in all truth, it is the bitter opposite. I didn’t need any of you to save me. I figured it out on my own, like I always do. The fight in my gut emerged beyond skin, but I was never good enough here. I will never be good enough here. I spend my weeks on a seesaw between the highest praise and the lowest blows. Every word that takes off from my lips must turn and tumble in flight before reaching your ears. You hear me. You don’t listen. You twist me. You don’t illuminate. No, I am not like a daughter to you, and if you were my mother, I would have disowned you long ago. In fact, you really don’t know **** about me, because I don’t want you to. Too many people try to tell me how to live, as though I haven’t come to learn what is best for myself. I think, as someone who used to fantasize about her own death but has overcome that obstacle and must continue to work to keep that fight alive in herself every **** minute of her existence, I have the right to write you off as an imbecile to my life. You don’t own me. You don’t know me. You don’t even see me. I ripped away the heart sewn tightly to my sleeve a while ago and placed it in a treasure chest kept in a safe haven to which few hold the key. I hold the key. But I don’t go there often. You see, I never really get the chance. I just want the chance, just a little bit of time to hear the quiet hum of a life reformed, to stop and feel the breath in my chest, to feel each lung fill to the brim, and picture it nourishing every inch of my body as I press the “release” button. Can I press the “release” button? Can I close my eyes and be… just be, not do. Can I whisper my desires to the wind that moves around me? Can we tell secrets of our confusion, our struggles, our victories? Can I reside to the treasure chest, simply to fill back up? “E” is for empty. I was designed differently than you. I wasn’t made for this.
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Feels like slavery With weight our shoulders Havent We endured enough? From One Bolder To The Next? Like needles draining  our blood for energy The White Gold of  Saturn Using Led from congress Our Spring Streams Have Run Dried Directed into a Different lines and Process Guarded by Projects With Capitalism at its finest Racism and favoritism. The Collective Body Shivers . With stretch lines on her skin with her magnitude of her tears. The stages of legions unleashed. Souls in battle using a leash. Things have been disowned and blown. The Headdress will take its throne. The Shield Into El-dorado that is known. Grids awaken from the Amerindian parts of the jaguars tradition. Collective religious cultures unleashed from its disposition. The beauty that brings a new position.
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Aug 23, 2018
Aug 23, 2018 at 7:10 PM UTC
El-dorado
Broke the straw across her back, so she snapped, never turning back Bruised her arm by joking accident with all the malice of death’s intent. No natural love or paternal instinct to catch the tears she’s choked with your hands on her throat. Touch her again and the demons will get you tell her to end herself before you do; and the death you deserve will befall you slow, alone and barren. Better to have left long ago or confronted your own lineage-issued father and let yourself be disowned than be the ******* you are. Leave her be middle child,   second accident of the disappointing gender. How dare you lay a finger on an innocent child? You’ll never be absolved in anyone’s eyes. Raised by fools, you’ve ruined your gift. The daughter you never wanted may never say it, but will grow up to spite you. Suffer like she does. She’s been soaking it up now for a while but the blood flow continues from deep wells of wounds. She can’t take this load anymore the people she carries don’t love her and she’s parched but still going. Surviving on a lump in her throat as she’s dragged through sandstorms and beatings.
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Feb 22, 2012
Feb 22, 2012 at 5:31 PM UTC
Camel
I disowned my baby with my very own hands, why blame others for not loving it as I did once ? I don't have any memories of it in pictures or letters, just in my head and heart, why blame others for not capturing or keeping one remembrance.
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Apr 9, 2014
Apr 9, 2014 at 3:39 AM UTC
Why blame others?
There’s a sense of something really good this Christmas, There’s a feeling in the air that it’s OK The anticipation’s there about ….a happiness out there And the weather outlook’s brilliant for the day. Mother’s planning a big roast for Christmas dinner There’ll be sparkles and bright spangles on the tree, Underneath there’s quite a pile, gaily wrapped to bring a smile And a kiss beneath the mistletoe for me? Spare a thought for all poor souls who have nobody Gift-wrap a parcel or two for the disowned, To make some unknown person smile advances Christmas by a mile And really brightens up the prospects for the un-homed. It’s a day to gift good wishes to your loved ones Share some cold beers in the sunshine on the deck, And when we’ve eaten to excess and helped mum clean up the mess There will be time to take a snooze…and what the heck! So to all our friends, across this world, aplenty, May we take this opportunity to say We hope your Christmas be as good as we know it really should And may Santa gift you happiness ….to stay! MERRY CHRISTMAS Love from Janet and Marshal. “Foxglove” Taranaki, New Zealand.
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Dec 13, 2013
Dec 13, 2013 at 6:33 PM UTC
YULETIDE
There is a cat in my home, and slowly it has grown fatter from feasting on food that I own. I go to work every day, so theres no possible way that this cat could look for pray. Yet still, somehow, when I return, he's stuffed. Belly filled with pizza crust he looks as if he'll bust. Somehow he finds a way outside, where he roams to neighbors homes to fill up on old turkey bones. Second breakfast and for lunch this hungry cat would munch, till diner came, then the game would change and just like that this cat would be back. In the morning when I leave, this cat would beg that I come home with fishes. The begging grew bad, so I'de do exactly as she wishes. Heres the trouble: I feed her once, shes still hungry, so i feed her double. Hours of her mighty meow. Her, just sitting there constantly, bellowing just like a cow, until I provide her with her chow. Now, I tried feeding her less and getting her to run but Im just competing with my stress when that cats not having fun. She would sit and moan, Oh the noises she'd groan as Ide remove her from the cushion she had claimed as her thrown. After this cat had Disowned me, I had learned just like that, that infact it was actualy the cat who had owned me. See cats are a beast of nature, there a creature that can not be tampered. So when theyve been pampered and foods been delivered, you can bet a strong bet that this cat will expect to be treated with the  best packaged liver from a duck that Wal-Mart can deliver.
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Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 11:53 AM UTC
Cat
once, there was a prince. a prince with fairy blue hair. he loved fairies with all his heart, he believed they existed too. he met a fairy, a pretty one, with pink hair and pretty brown eyes. their cheeks were rosy. the prince thought, i think i found my love. it wasn’t until, he realized, that the fairy he loved, was a boy too. it didn’t matter to him. but when mother and father found out. they kicked the prince out. the prince frowned, sitting on the grass, all alone in the cold night. he had nowhere to go. his family had disowned him, for loving a a fairy. he was confused. why did mother and father kick me out, for loving a fairy boy? was I not supposed to? the prince wiped his eyes in frustration, his vision was glossy. he was sad and very cold. he laid on the grass, on his side, in the woods. with only a little bag of his belongings. with no money or food. “prince?” the prince looked up with teary eyes and saw, fairy boy. he cried out and held him. fairy boy was confused now. why was the one he loved crying? “prince? what is wrong my love?” fairy boy said. “i’ve got no home to go to.” prince said. “that’s wrong my prince.” fairy boy said. “for as i, have our, home waiting for you.” “take me home fairy.” prince held his hand. “anything for you, joey.”
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Oct 29, 2017
Oct 29, 2017 at 3:08 PM UTC
princes and fairies
*kiss the kids good bye, send them out on their own find-a-way paths, merry or otherwise, dispatched, once and forever, stamped, franked, posted, Gebbie delivered,^ the poems born, borne*    are gone *never look back, once writ and gifted, they are an only child, not truly orphaned*    but without parentage *miss'ed every now and then, see them as a drive-by victims, hit and run casualties of passing poets, who notifiy that they saw "so and so" and just wanted to let me know,*    they're ok *but never look back, they have been disowned, each, a natural birth poem, must learn the hard way, to stand on its own, tested by the cruelest proctor,*    hoary time *this is the way, the only way, birth mother and no more, and this why, some know me as,   the poet of the way... *this is my way - my poems are my dispatched issue, sent out themselves alone, to experience cell division, mitosis and meiosis spawning new poetic tissue, find their own way of sharing*   their ancestral DNA
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Jun 8, 2015
Jun 8, 2015 at 10:57 PM UTC
never look back, poet of the way
I don't recall the moment responsibility grew arms hugging with gnarled fingers, while burdened skies wrap like a promise, with its soft tenor of lies and seduction. Disowned, I remember the drunk old lady who hung over my shoulders puking responsibility, as if to discharge toxic waste on a pre-mature baby struggling in labor, while death chokes the innocent, lost in love's knowledge. She could have warned me, even better, ridiculed me rather than put my head on a bludgeoned block allowing me to become a scapegoat for all the past, present and future mistakes: Some, of which was manufactured in threads of innuendo by off-loaders. These bones of mine are exposed in the twilight of their naked prejudice, and 'I swear I could hear clouds' curse my name, chanting wrath, creating chaos through veins of pride, before darkness fell feasting off my flames. There is nothing like hollow skeletons of the dead rustling around in graveyards alone. I stopped to think despite efforts of going solo; how I miss the stony silence of that skull, bent with anger seeking solace from my venomous touch. It would be a blessing to retreat into silent reveries where I am alone, I am alive, the dead are no more, to wrestle ghosts with words spoken into the heavens asking, "is there enough forgiveness left for me?" I don't want to remember her dead face, how it looked when her neck snapped while life drained from her stiffened eyes. I want the abstracts of my life to fit. So, I howl upon her bitter pill - release me... 7/11/2012
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Nov 6, 2012
Nov 6, 2012 at 3:46 PM UTC
Beautiful Imperfections
I don't recall the moment responsibility grew arms hugging with gnarled fingers, while burdened skies wrap like a promise, with its soft tenor of lies and seduction. Disowned, I remember the drunk old lady who hung over my shoulders puking responsibility, as if to discharge toxic waste on a pre-mature baby struggling in labor, while death chokes the innocent, lost in love's knowledge. She could have warned me, even better, ridiculed me rather than put my head on a bludgeoned block allowing me to become a scapegoat for all the past, present and future mistakes: Some, of which was manufactured in threads of innuendo by off-loaders. These bones of mine are exposed in the twilight of their naked prejudice, and 'I swear I could hear clouds' curse my name, chanting wrath, creating chaos through veins of pride, before darkness fell feasting off my flames. There is nothing like hollow skeletons of the dead rustling around in graveyards alone. I stopped to think despite efforts of going solo; how I miss the stony silence of that skull, bent with anger seeking solace from my venomous touch. It would be a blessing to retreat into silent reveries where I am alone, I am alive, the dead are no more, to wrestle ghosts with words spoken into the heavens asking, "is there enough forgiveness left for me?" I don't want to remember her dead face, how it looked when her neck snapped while life drained from her stiffened eyes. I want the abstracts of my life to fit. So, I howl upon her bitter pill - release me... 7/11/2012
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Applied rouge on the cheeks Tied a glittering necklace round the neck Putting heavy makeup, Over the stubble on her shaven chin, She looked into the mirror Through its cracks, saw a million bits of her/him Those images sneering at each other She felt trapped in a wrong body, With its contours n’ longings mismatched “Where do I belong”? “Where do I fit”? These questions plague her incessant A rough stone with sharp edges Too hard to be chipped down Cast aside by the mason That can never go into the making of a Cathedral She walks around in haze Life seems a twisted maze Each time she tries to claw her way She sees only walls that hems her in Before her lingers the stygian mist Phantoms of darkness surround her The winds of change swiftly blow Seasons come and go But she is tied down in her chains An anomaly of creation A curse and a taboo Swallowing stigma and abuse Each day waking up with a start Knowing that she is neither a woman nor a man But a non binary... an accursed TRANSGENDER Inviting snide looks And sniggers from onlookers People call her a ****** One divided between the selves A hapless denizen of an inhospitable world Disowned even by parents Though flawed and far from perfect She is human, one of a kind And needs to be seen through the eyes of God!
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Dec 1, 2018
Dec 1, 2018 at 9:03 AM UTC
Transgender
I saw the saddest scene today, when a boy— now a year older— abandoned his bicycle because she was older. Enticed by lust, on his new bike he rode away, caught up in the moment—he didn’t mean to scold her— yet no second was spared to look back over his shoulder. I stopped watering my lawn, eyes where the bike lay, imagining the loneliness felt when he disowned her, and I felt emptier than a bike’s seat with no owner. Even inside my home, on my conscience it weighed because of their tryst, there was another knower. “He took her for a ride, and he didn’t even know her.” In my mind I console her, such idle words I say, for nobody’s pedaling foot would ever suit her until that pettler’s foot stopped blocking the suture. “I was like you recently, so for you I pray, though, the absence was open and lacked closure; hopefully, your steel frame employs better composure. “Nostalgia will make him pine for his yesterday, pictures’ll frame the story of love lost when he’s older. In time, loving hands will lift you up,” I told her.
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Jul 19, 2013
Jul 19, 2013 at 2:43 PM UTC
Abandoned
Now for years I haven’t seen him nor know if he is alive or dead the shadowy man who floated like dream each moonlight on the roof surfaced! When from my window his silhouette I caught saw him on his voyage embark the moon stalker day’s small-time clerk wove a magic spell on my thought! As the moon came over the eastern edge silver orbed in her glorious rebirth he would be there lost in his gaze like a moonman stuck on the earth! Madly his eyes riveted on the sky in pursuit of gain unknown as if once unmoored to her he would fly leaving this world disowned! Hours passed by his wonder not ebbed eased not the moon stalker's trance it seemed to me moon's waning he grieved mourned dimming of her silvery dance! Each full moon saw this unfailing zeal on the roof two lovers' meet his eyes sky bound till he had his fill the moonman on earthly transit!
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Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 1:04 PM UTC
Moon Stalker
I read the book of Samuel I read the story of the Israelites Of how they rejected God “We want a king!” they demanded “We want to be like other nations” Rejecting God’s kingship. The same God who brought them up Out of the ******* of Pharaoh Out of slavery in Egypt The same God who gave them victories Over many nations and wars The same God who had fed them For forty years in the wilderness Same God who had proved Beyond reasonable doubt That He is the King of kings A Lord above all lords They chose to downgrade! I was swept away in a mind journey As I thought of how it must have felt To be rejected by your own children Repudiated by your beloved Disowned by the very people you love. My heart bled! The heartbreak was unimaginable The pain was excruciating As my mind pointed fingers of accusation I couldn’t find befitting words *“Foolish Israelites!” “Unrepentant idiots!” “Stubborn generation!”* And as my mind went awry Heaping insults on God’s people Raining accusations on them Judging an imperfect people as myself… His still small voice whispered ***“You are all the same” “You have done worse”*** Then it struck me Like a lightening of a million volts I am the Israelites I am the very people of God I am the same ones I condemn I have betrayed God repeatedly I have chosen sin above my maker My iniquities know no bounds I have trivialized His blood I have made a mess of the cross. *I am the “foolish Israelites!” I am the “unrepentant idiots!” I am the “stubborn generation!”* My heart melted into tears Shame covered me like a cloud My head was bowed in ignominy. Unable to speak or move I lay there, weeping at my wickedness No words were spoken But I felt His arms embrace me In acknowledgement of my repentance I never deserved it But He loved me nonetheless. I pointed one finger at them But three pointed back at me! © Raphael Uzor
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May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 6:19 PM UTC
Israelite
I read the book of Samuel I read the story of the Israelites Of how they rejected God “We want a king!” they demanded “We want to be like other nations” Rejecting God’s kingship. The same God who brought them up Out of the ******* of Pharaoh Out of slavery in Egypt The same God who gave them victories Over many nations and wars The same God who had fed them For forty years in the wilderness Same God who had proved Beyond reasonable doubt That He is the King of kings A Lord above all lords They chose to downgrade! I was swept away in a mind journey As I thought of how it must have felt To be rejected by your own children Repudiated by your beloved Disowned by the very people you love. My heart bled! The heartbreak was unimaginable The pain was excruciating As my mind pointed fingers of accusation I couldn’t find befitting words *“Foolish Israelites!” “Unrepentant idiots!” “Stubborn generation!”* And as my mind went awry Heaping insults on God’s people Raining accusations on them Judging an imperfect people as myself… His still small voice whispered ***“You are all the same” “You have done worse”*** Then it struck me Like a lightening of a million volts I am the Israelites I am the very people of God I am the same ones I condemn I have betrayed God repeatedly I have chosen sin above my maker My iniquities know no bounds I have trivialized His blood I have made a mess of the cross. *I am the “foolish Israelites!” I am the “unrepentant idiots!” I am the “stubborn generation!”* My heart melted into tears Shame covered me like a cloud My head was bowed in ignominy. Unable to speak or move I lay there, weeping at my wickedness No words were spoken But I felt His arms embrace me In acknowledgement of my repentance I never deserved it But He loved me nonetheless. I pointed one finger at them But three pointed back at me! © Raphael Uzor
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Tiny droplets on my window As I look out gazing, at the stars who light you. (Droplets.) Then I've forgotten, how the sun and moon never share the sky. When all is cloistered by the infinite walls each builds Only to move forward with wheels so round. So I ponder. From whence do you come from? Others say the rain. From a God so dry, to drench so sharply a people who refuse to even be chilled. But have I refused to be mild? Others speak, or even laugh about you being from a wooden cask. So simplistic a material born of nature's ***** raised by human hands killed by a shoe's trample. Only to be revived by repetitive thirst. But have I abandoned value? A small voice goes so far to whisper that you are but a leaf's residue. Relegated as lifeless, you, so clear, have given life to the colors of autumn. And rekindled by the same time that disowned you. But have I been disloyal? Though now as I lie staring at the snow a crystal sparkles. Something from my own eye my own bliss my own sorrow my own consolation my own mortality. Abandoned when I must go. Or have I refused to be constant? Notwithstanding your origin, I touch you, you will never be the same. But will I?
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Jan 22, 2014
Jan 22, 2014 at 4:54 PM UTC
Droplets
to the women of my life. Im ashamed to say I've done some things that never should have done. leaving you stranded at the first sign of trouble. not being there when needed at the most. taking you for granted thinking you always be there, how forgetful am I. the times we shared. the time I should have spent. all the gifts given to me foolishly spent as if a young kid with money for the first time. You know that first time you bought you own clothes. my mother would slap me for you. my grandmother would have loved you. I wish you were here my brother speaks of you often. we both wonder where are you hopefully living. miss your punk *** too. don't get f***** up you know I love you. I miss the way you subtly flirting with me I'm miss you lying. I respect your ways and failed to recognize the fact you respected mine. all of us have secrets. some of us wish to share more. yeah I'm still selfish in my ways into a matured understand the old cliche goes you never know what you have until you lose it. knowing what I know now we were just Batman and Robin Bonnie and Clyde bye bye blackbird. it's too bad sometimes my mother taught me way better than that. my sister would have disowned me not I'm a little more mature there's no second chance cuz the second hand is broken thus I leave it at that the woman of my life.
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Mar 18, 2015
Mar 18, 2015 at 12:16 PM UTC
unsaid
What do you see, old man, sitting alone by the fire? Heartless world of scorn and hurt , treasuring hate like a philosopher's stone. Judgment passed, greybeard by the road, Must be a thief, waiting for the night to dawn. His sunken eyes know the way into the dark As evil forbearing comes with the folds in his hand Wrinkles on his face, countless tales to recount How he crept thru the darkness, still and quietly, And watched as the baby cried with fear. How shallow this world, with its looks and half learnt lessons, The old man by the fire, his tales of a world so far from this. Child, learner, lover and father His sunken eyes reveal the times he's forgiven with a heart, so grand. With his very hands, he's cared and worked for the ones he loved His wrinkles recount tales of a life well served. But now, he sits, alone by the fire, Disowned, refused, Unwanted, forgotten. Caught up in the web of the world, Buried in the sands of time.
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Sep 10, 2014
Sep 10, 2014 at 12:19 AM UTC
Old Man by the Fire
There was once a fox, a fox whose name had gone unknown, but nevertheless was in truth all on its own. With a pelt of fire and auburn, and eyes deep and serious,  it was no doubt why so many considered the fox "mysterious". Yet, this tale is different, and I will tell you why, this fox was not like the rest, he sought to be like the wolves- twas' no lie. He envied their beauty, their ability and strength, in fact his admiration went on to a fractured great length. He would try to howl and change his stature- hell even his look, it was a matter of great indifference, but try as he might- no matter how long it took. In time, after so much effort he took to the wolf, they welcomed him and never knew his story, pride and arrogance he was engulfed. He followed and lived as one for the while he was deceived, but after all the time had past, disgust and mockery from all other animals was what he received. It was only when the wolves outwitted him and made him a fool, that they chased him and slandered him, oh, the treatment had been cruel. Now the fox understood why animals each held their own class and identity, when he realized then why he was meant to be. A fox he was and would always stay, to the start of his life to the finish of his decay. Yet, he was reminded of why foxes were special, it was because they were no one else; it was stupid to compare, whether it be lion or mouse.  He saw beauty in an idol of its own, he became so mesmerized and driven, that even his heart he disowned. He saw no beauty in himself, when really all others did, that now his respect and dignity was so pitifully dead. Though he admired the wolves and tried to seek them without end, let it be known fame and popularity is a horrid trend. So there are others greater and have more to do, but have you ever considered they may wish to be you? Like the fox who wanted to be a wolf,  but in time fell too much in greed, be careful of the lies you choose to follow and take heed! Because not every beautiful face is as kind and free, be happy you are You and can declare "I am me." ❥
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Aug 30, 2015
Aug 30, 2015 at 11:11 PM UTC
Vulpes Vulpes, Canis Lupus
There was once a fox, a fox whose name had gone unknown, but nevertheless was in truth all on its own. With a pelt of fire and auburn, and eyes deep and serious,  it was no doubt why so many considered the fox "mysterious". Yet, this tale is different, and I will tell you why, this fox was not like the rest, he sought to be like the wolves- twas' no lie. He envied their beauty, their ability and strength, in fact his admiration went on to a fractured great length. He would try to howl and change his stature- hell even his look, it was a matter of great indifference, but try as he might- no matter how long it took. In time, after so much effort he took to the wolf, they welcomed him and never knew his story, pride and arrogance he was engulfed. He followed and lived as one for the while he was deceived, but after all the time had past, disgust and mockery from all other animals was what he received. It was only when the wolves outwitted him and made him a fool, that they chased him and slandered him, oh, the treatment had been cruel. Now the fox understood why animals each held their own class and identity, when he realized then why he was meant to be. A fox he was and would always stay, to the start of his life to the finish of his decay. Yet, he was reminded of why foxes were special, it was because they were no one else; it was stupid to compare, whether it be lion or mouse.  He saw beauty in an idol of its own, he became so mesmerized and driven, that even his heart he disowned. He saw no beauty in himself, when really all others did, that now his respect and dignity was so pitifully dead. Though he admired the wolves and tried to seek them without end, let it be known fame and popularity is a horrid trend. So there are others greater and have more to do, but have you ever considered they may wish to be you? Like the fox who wanted to be a wolf,  but in time fell too much in greed, be careful of the lies you choose to follow and take heed! Because not every beautiful face is as kind and free, be happy you are You and can declare "I am me." ❥
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