"blockades" poems
Together we swim,
Skin touching satin skin
Fingertips grazing knees and thighs
As my engine of a heart enters overdrive with glee
Her breath keeps me alive against the strain of our instincts
My breath catches and my body contorts
Until I am suddenly entangled with a hooded figure instead
His heavy limbs pin me against the wall and his hands greedily search through my home
I realize I am being robbed but
He's not a stranger
His lips warm my neck and I choke on his telltale cologne as his hands hastily break through the deepest closets that house my innocence, my treasures, and no matter how sternly I refuse, he shoves through the doors until he finds exactly what he wants
I thought it was hidden
I thought it was safe
I thought it was mine
He smiles and lavishly thrusts his hands into my special box
Thanking me,
Between heavy breaths,
for giving him access to my prized possession,
To my heart
But
when he asked for a taste
I refused. But
He insisted and
Kept pushing
Pushing
And pushing against the wooden door until it splintered and snapped and he could enter with
Or without
My permission
Once inside, I had no choice
but to let him manhandle my possessions,
I can never again close that door that He broke
To fulfill his needs and
To satisfy his craving
Although he leaves with satisfaction dripping from his palms
I know it won't last forever
His hunger will return again,
Stronger.
And no matter how much I invest in new locks
and thicker blockades around my special space
He has already stolen a taste of the core of my emotions that
That door served to protect
He will return again,
with a sense of entitlement to my insides
And I won't fight back
Because his sweaty palms and greasy skin have already leaked onto the pieces
Even those he had not yet touched
My pure and personal secret now leaves nothing but bitterness on my tongue and stains on my body
And now,
I still feel his hands, not hers
I hear his breathing
Feel his weight pressing against me,
His hands destroying my body
I become hysterical and
Tears burn my eyes and stain our sheets.
I see the panic in her eyes
She doesn't know
She doesn't know I'm ***** and broken
She doesn't know why
And I can't
stop
crying
She's scared.
I would be too
But I'm dead inside.
Jul 10, 2017
Jul 10, 2017 at 4:25 PM UTC
Expectations swagger
And clutter.
Small talk
Loiters dangerously near big talk
As gazes dance between
Lazy freckles.
Questions are asked
That require too complicated
Of answers.
Answers too uncertain
And even once certain,
Limbs putrify and freeze
In the daunting path
That has been figured,
Fathomed, barely
And never traveled.
Habits, self inhibitions,
Self-destructive agendas,
Pull at the walker
As his own mind swivels,
Exhausted,
Tipping into madness.
He’s found the path
But finds self-provoked
Difficulty in walking it.
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 12:38 AM UTC
Death knocks on the door with flowers
She does not answer
He knocks again
She blocks the door
He shouts her name
She buys a new houses
He comes again
And she builds a Panic Room
He shouts once more
And she locks the Panic door
He breaks into the house
And she blockades the hallway
He rattles the handle
She puts in ear plugs
He kicks and he screams
And she goes to sleep
Alone
In her chamber of solitude
With nothing
And no one
Left
Dreaming peacefully
As he breaks down the door
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 9:22 PM UTC
Something is wrong with me.
I'm blind, I can't see.
The blockades in my way.
I stumble but feel no pain.
My tears fall like pouring rain.
Where am I now?
Sweat drips down my brow.
My vision is forever grey.
I just can't live this way.
Oct 22, 2015
Oct 22, 2015 at 6:42 PM UTC
*Serenity Echoing In Reverse,
Stagnant Resolutions Choking Her Universe,
Submerging Her Dreams Into A Sterilized Verse.
Sedated In Perpetual Twilights,
Mechanical Love & ****** Satellites,
She Whispers Essences Of Kryptonite.
Victim To A Perpetual Reaction,
She Transforms Into A Violet Abstraction,
Echoing Prismatic Deflections.
Technician To Her Own Serenades,
She Embraces Her Heartache Blockades,
Overdosing On Intoxicating Escapades.
Evoking Constellations Of His Ionized Memories,
She Overdoses On Comatose Reveries,
And Spectral Illusions Of Synthetic Stories.
Amplifications So Sacred & Profane,
Simulations Raving Into Codependent Stains,
Fragmentations Entranced In Her Bulletproof Frames.
Cherub Starlight & Everlasting Gaze,
Transitions Fusing Into Astral Maze,
The Essence Of Ecstasy Of His Sentiments Sways.*
- 04:27AM
Mar 11, 2017
Mar 11, 2017 at 5:57 PM UTC
Impatiently parading the shoreline
Like waves persistently mimicking infantry
I must seem lost at sea
My feet resemble war heroes
Dirtied by the summer soot
Yet too proud to surrender
Millions of tan granules have met my fleet
But I'm too proud to surrender
What happens when the storm hits?
Comfortably crushing the paper mache blockades
I installed throughout my days here
The cozy road home is falling apart
My opportunity to evacuate shrinks as the shoreline invades
Yet I'm too proud to surrender
Like a captain of a sinking ship
I'm too proud to surrender
Oct 17, 2013
Oct 17, 2013 at 1:45 PM UTC
I know that this journey is treacherous
And we might lose our way
But remember
All the pain
All the suffering
That we endured
Our home is now long gone at this point
No reason to shed tears
So remember
All the prayers
All the blessings
Bestowed on us
The road ahead holds many blockades
But we will still march onwards
Just remember
All the promises
All the dreams
That we carry
Even if our bodies are broken down
We will fix each other
Please Remember
All the strength
All the wisdom
That we have crafted
The road underneath is mysterious
Filled with unthinkable questions
But I remember
All the truth
All the words
That you are here in my heart
© Sofia Villagrana 2018
Sep 9, 2018
Sep 9, 2018 at 5:01 PM UTC
Just like an addiction
The need for a fix controls
The line between 'need' and 'want' blurs, more often than a clock ticks.
The quest for the dream is a time consuming process
Unknown obstacles will discourage,
Past experiences shall hinder,
Repressed emotion comes to the forefront of your mind,
Blinded.
Opportunities pass you by.
Yet the quest for the dream stays strong
Battling through blockades
Climbing over walls
Stumbling on rubble
Always regaining the ability to stand tall
The quest for the dream is a endurance race
Nearing your goal,
with the final onslaught to endure
and the last hurdle to leap
Persistence is to be used in excess
And you've risen from the deep.
The quest for the dream is a time consuming process
So stay strong, and stand up tall
against whatever comes your way.
Our dreams are achievable.
Feb 12, 2013
Feb 12, 2013 at 6:54 AM UTC
Butterflies flew through my limbs
Tickling the bone as they land
And chocking my lungs until
I can’t breathe.
So what a beautiful day
When I can allow them to fly freely
between our lips
at contact.
You ask what I’m thinking so
I pull you to the side and
Lean against you and
Nothing.
Where have those butterflies gone?
Did the poisons in my body destroy them?
Did they spawn from the sick feeling of the forbidden?
Why am I so broken?
You ask me how I feel and I panic
So I avoid the question
I don’t have the heart to tell you I didn’t
I don’t know why I feel so empty.
And worse,
That makes my problem more complicated
Because with her I feel the same nothingness
But we live together.
So I am no longer choosing between
Who I love more or who I feel with
Because I feel nothing but
Excitement in dead places for one
I am so broken that even that will leave
Eventually
So what do I do when
There’s two lives on the line
I can choose you and
Keep your heart beating
Or I can choose her and
Keep my comfortable life
Or I can choose myself
And move out into the world alone
But I am so afraid to be alone
So afraid to feel
Because what if I feel this way
Due to the mental blockades I’ve built to protect myself?
What if real, raw emotions live in my heart
But can’t escape through the chains?
Yet, what if I leave and
Find another you who
Seems to have it all
Until our lips meet
And I feel
nothing?
Aug 8, 2017
Aug 8, 2017 at 2:16 PM UTC
My eyes are not sunlit windows to my own self, rather dimmed and tinted blockades to never give you a full picture. They are not a colourful array of flowers, they are dull and wilting weeds.
My lungs cannot breathe in and smell the roses because they are laced with tar, and not enough oxygen from shallow breathing. They are restricted from fulfilling out their purpose so I can feel 'okay.'
My ears will not listen to the buzzing of bees and the gentle wind- they will, however, listen to the screams between them and confuse help with hate.
My tongue does not taste of honeysuckle and mint, but rather ash and dried blood from tasting my existence. It formulates words laced with too much sleep and too little self care.
My fingertips do not touch as if I am handling the daintiest of flower petals, instead they trace a gravestone between my ribs with a purpose. They tear at my own skin and hair, or at least try to.
Do not devalue my battleground of a body by comparing it to a garden
Jan 18, 2018
Jan 18, 2018 at 7:07 PM UTC
sitting in heavy traffic one day, 4-way stop
radio on, listening to the DJ describe
the excitement of broadcasting live
from a south side strip club
between songs
giggly ****** screech in high pitched
dog whistle voices
trying to entice me
into meeting wild red heads
georgous brunettes, ***** blondes
yellow, then red, then slowly traffic
moves on
continuing the maze
blockades block, jackhammers
tear up half the street, change lanes
the heat of asphalt, a constant barrage
of noise
straining, amplifying
I turn a ***** off in mid-squeal
looking around I realize
I had arrived
this was the world of grown-ups
I so desperately longed for in my youth?
no bat mizvah, no tribal rite of passage
but if I'm lucky
I'll make that green light
May 20, 2014
May 20, 2014 at 7:57 PM UTC
Starting a new day
As the creatures of the dawn
Awaken from their slumber
Draw nearer to conversing
As my tongue tired of lasting words
Exchanging an unpleasant battle
Due to stronghold blockades
Those casting does not work as one
But bitter with sayings of lashing
Commencing words
Which are not quite pleasant
But sends a signal
Commanding respect
Bow down to no flesh of unpleasantness
As the spirit ease me with new slumber
Thanking God for a sleep I need
For the next preparation
Aug 17, 2010
Aug 17, 2010 at 2:17 AM UTC
These playful boys
Ducking in and out from the sea of umbrellas
Occasionally poke their heads out to be splashed by my rains
A waterfall of another substance, with no intention nor motive
But simply given to bathe all in purety and joy
Free from payment and contract
My water drizzles from pores as if never ending
And my cloud, held up by these feeling boys
Who, upon looking upon my cloud
Create invisible pillars, sturdy and unbreakable, keeping it from falling from sky
These links pass their happiness to the outline to the grey mists embodied
Often misleading simple eyes to presume unwanted storms and floods
And hopefully more may look up, to find their silver lining
But as I look down to see my waters humble achievements
I am blinded by the swarm of blockades erected
Falsely they fear the waters as they fear other things natural and of form
Suspicion instilled by mergers already signed causes distrust
For they're accustomed to a price, and deals being made
Blindly they cannot see this freedom was rightfully theirs to begin with
The truth disguised in every drop of rain is eternal, without expiry nor catch
Unlike those temporary pleasures offered by fog and shadow
But so many droplets go straight to the ground, dead and unrealized
Trampled on as the crowd continues living in shade
Each hit, bruises me and my cloud, darkening the already looming grey
Unintentionally the growing cloud provokes more deterrence from storms broadcasted maliciously
But still, I release my waters, looking down to those boys who care not for light in darkness
Jun 27, 2013
Jun 27, 2013 at 5:43 PM UTC
As you sit at your table on Thanksgiving Day
Voraciously gorging yourself on your feast,
Remember those who are suffering
In a proxy war in the Middle East.
The poor Yemenis have died by the thousands.
Many are on the brink of starvation.
Fourteen million, some people say,
Experience serious deprivation.
Blockades limit badly needed
Medical supplies and food.
It's a humanitarian crisis
Of unspeakable magnitude.
Warring ideologies place
Innocent people in between.
Yes, people are still committing
Atrocities in twenty eighteen!
A hospital hit by Saudi bombs…
A school bus blown to bits…
How many more will die before
Responsible parties call it quits?
Cholera is pervasive, and drugs
Cannot get to the people who need them.
Babies are dying because their mothers
Cannot produce the milk to feed them.
As of now our president
Would rather keep an open door
To weapons sales to Saudis instead
Of trying to stop the ghastly war.
Don't just send your thoughts to Yemen;
Let your thoughts turn into actions,
Lest your sincere hopes for peace
End up being worthless abstractions.
-by Bob B (11-22-18)
Nov 22, 2018
Nov 22, 2018 at 11:40 AM UTC
My night, under opaque wraps, collects my candid questions —
unkept before the walls crept back up on me and
crammed my thorough thoughts
into sufficient suffocation and disallowed my dislocation
from total cerebral closure —
and covers cognative wonders with a dense fence-like stone cure.
The clean-cut cold sheets, tucked beneath the bed springs
spring my curiosity through layer after layer
of teeming tides of blockades and prohibition
but someone sits at the edge of the road, just before crack
drops to cliff and he catches my despair, tangled in the rye, and
before my in-experience allows me to cry,
he hurls my candid questions back my way and continues
my disallowance of detaching myself from purity.
But despite his baseball mitts, he can’t catch my verbal fits
so I scream, “My wants can’t be blocked forever and Holden,
I’m holding onto my life for the sake of avoiding strife with you but
celibacy of the mind can only lead to our true demise.”
He looks me in the eyes, scared he’d been outdone,
so he tries to run but the cliff leaves him hanging and
I reach for his undemanding hand that swats my offer
with a backwards hat.
But his fear subsides in his recollection of his misinterpretation of
a silly old poem that led him to believe he could catch our innocence.
So wear your hat straight, Holden, ‘cause in the rye,
you’re not the groundskeeper, but keep your ground and
catch yourself before you fall off the cliff and lose yourself
in your selfless tantrums and your disregard for your need for wondering.
Let me break through my caul, ‘cause it’s burning of decay and
I’ve overstayed my welcome in this amniotic gate, devoid of vitality,
and I like my life in my own hands, so I’ll tell you now:
I’m holdin’ on, Holden. Get a grip and hold on, yourself.
Mar 1, 2014
Mar 1, 2014 at 3:54 PM UTC
Emergency exit
Glowing softly green in the black room
Full of madness, inexplicable pain
Nameless emotions
All without foothold
Floating freely in the dark
Creating an untamed beast
In this darkness glows a light
Its gentle green invitation
Promising a way out
Promising an escape
From the Creature of Darkness
Promising the desired silence
Like the starry night sky
Cold and quiet
Stars shining their lonely peace
Gentle, silent peace
Over the door hangs
Three splintering blockades
Bent, rusted nails
Once straight and strong
Before the time of the Creature
Now weakly enforce their law
Scratched on each face
Shouts my barrier
MORALS
FAITH
PROMISE
Each forbidding my crossing
Each splintered cry declaring
The light which glows green
May promise one thing
But can you see through this door?
Eager jaws of hell
Or floating through the stars
Eternal sleep
Or nothing at all
My blindness stops me
From hearing the metal squeal
Of boards being ripped from the door
Like the starry night sky
Stars appearing within reach
But stretching the arm
Until ligaments scream
They still taunt the fingertips
Like the starry night sky
I can see my escape
I can stretch my arms
Until my ligaments scream
But the splintered blockade
Will not allow me to cross
Into the forbidden escape
Feb 3, 2011
Feb 3, 2011 at 9:59 PM UTC
A smile is such a mixed display
Of honesty and deceit.
Even the keenest are led astray
When that smile isn’t sweet.
With that smile a façade is built
Hiding one’s wants and true emotions.
A pearly white mask of fear and guilt
Outshines the truth with hollow notions.
But there lies the occasional shine,
Tearing down the walls and blockades.
Joy resounds from your soul to mine,
Hope flows from your grin in cascades.
Carry that flash of pleasantness and guile
And, to all, let it grow and accrue.
For when I bore witness to your loving smile
My heart leapt and I knew it was true.
April 19, 2009
©MDC
Mar 7, 2013
Mar 7, 2013 at 12:18 PM UTC
Place knives to throats and slit
We all will bleed red blood..
I can't take off this Humanity
You see me as an infection
Killing us off, openly without question
I'll reincarnate Black again, But Panther...
Shall I stand for this injustice
Even superhumans can be shot dead..
Ask the symbols MLK, and X
How do we unify our people
The people will never look colorless
Dying from the silent growing masses...
Outrageous oppositions ostracizing organized optimist outreach.
Taking time to think that's trail
Hearing hurtful harm, Hard heading home
Everyone experiences earth's eerie evil effects
Reaching ramifications revolving round recent Revolts
Some Stay Silent, Some Shout Supercilious
Teach us How to Sit In
Stamp me with a Bobby Seale
Certify me to be a Leader
Protect me with Urban Newton's Laws
Let my fist again mean Power!!
May my tongue Gather the masses!!
Will you wait until its you..
Locked down behind their Military's Blockades
They already see you as animal..
Show your fangs Bare your Pride..
They need no reason, Give one!!
Make them fear beyond their thoughts...
I am the soul of America
We are the Backbone of Liberty
The land that grows your fruits
Our Blood runs through every root
We taught you how to survive
Without Color you are only European....
Aug 13, 2014
Aug 13, 2014 at 9:51 AM UTC
this ache in my chest sends me backwards,
under covers and into a night
that knows no time zone.
hours mean nothing
to the face of a depression nap.
my hand clings
to my childhood blanket-
when all I've been
trying to do lately
is let my past go.
but there's nostalgia there,
hidden behind the tragedy,
behind the smell of alcohol
on my father's breathe
and the sound of distain
in my mothers.
there was hope there once-
until I saw what it turned me into.
but is this version of me so bad?
I guess things could've been worse.
I guess all of this pressure
could've turned me a little more numb.
cutting off circulation
at my self-confidence
I've been trying to find a balance.
Dying to find a way to feel
non-restricted.
I guess there are better words
to be used than the ones I do.
But who has time to be pristine,
when someone will find me
messy anyway?
who has time to think,
when I am just
who everyone says I am anyway?
what good is pressure
when you know you
won't live up to all of these
expectations?
I'm wading in the water
awaiting a wave to carry me away-
but these blockades won't budge.
and I'm stuck
sitting in a place everyone wants me to be.
looking like I am happy.
where has this talent gotten me?
where will it even take me?
I have spent too long in the shadow
of someone else that I no longer know myself.
but have I ever?
Oct 5, 2017
Oct 5, 2017 at 8:51 AM UTC
The more we talk, I wonder how you feel for me.
The more we talk, I wonder how this will all play out.
The more we talk, I wonder if you will ever sit in my arms
The more we talk, I feel the electricity courses through my veins.
The more we talk, I feel the words beating at my blockades.
The more we talk, I feel the need to express my feelings.
The more we talk, it tends to appear that my laugh emanates often.
The more we talk, it tends to appear that my smiles appear often.
The more we talk, it tends to appear that my face tends to become beet red.
The more we talk, the stronger my feelings evolves.
The more we talk, the stronger my happiness evolves.
The more we talk, the stronger my fear of loosing you evolves.
Nov 16, 2012
Nov 16, 2012 at 12:29 AM UTC
I hope always for the best
And since I keep the suitable status
Of every single objects so I, in return,
Want that the human in me would get the same...
At least I hope so but you know, my wise
Fellow readers, I got some personal experiences
Of being unfairly exploited, unjustly treated
But I didn’t deserve it really for I have a third eye...
The universal law of motion
And emotion is not equal, not symmetric
I came to know then rather in some cases,
I deserve the priority to express and establish my ideas...
but there I failed to do so poorly, with sure blockades
The promising Socrates had left this world
In that very unwanted manner being in the darkness
Philosophers might be surprised, “Oh, really....!”
I will say then, yes my dear friend,
The idea givers for the best for the mankind,
Are the proud and the golden sons of Socrates.
I think I am also one of those happy brothers...
For I also wish to render my fruitful and positive ideas
For the best of our community and for our countrymen.
I am ever ready to die, to die a first death only
But one foremost thing I must not leave is the ‘truth’....
I really love the truth, the beauty of the universe,
The fragrance of flower garden, the waves of seas;
The frozen ice on the mountains, spring through the valleys
I dare not to deny these after million times death....
I’m in fair love with these, are the expression of my lord
Whom I care until my last breath & forever in any dimension.
But this must be some test of my lord to make me real solid gold
Out of the heavy mixed ugly ore under the rocks so hard...
My lord, give me your warm shelter, right pathways
So that I could bear the extreme heat and freezing cold
Of this polluted & ignorant world so sleepy, so dark
As it moves so slow, as it turns around blindly
Save me until I die and protect me onward...
© 2015 Mohammad Anwar Parvez Shishir
Aug 19, 2015
Aug 19, 2015 at 4:08 PM UTC
what is keeping me from reaching out and grabbing my dream?
your A minuses, your rejection letters, your mundane home-works,
your beauty and size standards, appropriate clothing manners
your gender roles and restrictions.
you.
and countless other things that end at me too,
but i am too angry to recall them.
Mar 26, 2016
Mar 26, 2016 at 4:35 AM UTC