What is quantifiable are the symbols. What isn't quantifiable are the zones between the symbols, unless there are many symbols present that form spaces.
There are partial symbols, i.e. a gesture of an animal is present but not the form of the animal.
Reality stays more abstract with partial symbology.
What is known about the symbol gives reality meaning.
Speaking of visions as symbols separates the meaning from the visual experience.
The person who doesn't see the symbol as the reality has not been exposed to reality which is somewhat hard to ascertain.
When, in dreams for example, there are just collages of things, it is hard to say that it is more than a collage. But if I recognize symbology, it allows me to see every part of the picture.
Symbols are more for the artist than the scientist who simply wants to verify what happens in reality. While transcendent of verification of meaning is reality "filler", yet it attains to meaning only if it is seen as symbol.
The filler is more abstract because logic only exists here if we consciously give something meaning. Otherwise a huff of a dog, for example, is merely a passing image.
Since concrete objects already have existential meaning, they cannot constitute as filler.
Visions, because they only partially exist, calls into question existence itself.
In filler reality, it becomes participatory as to giving reality meaning or just enjoying the visions.
What separates this filler world from normal mind is that meaning is no longer the key to reality.
Simply experiencing the visuals explain reality in an easy way.
Meaning almost ruins the mode of experience.

All that lead in their bones
Smoke lingering blood

They placed masks on their graves
Unmarked in kitchens
And fields of grain
Washed out and bitterly red
Against a blue white skin

Liberty fell with her rifle
Pointed at her own knees
Crown set a gutter for soldiers to cower and puke in their false beliefs

The only absolute in this ******* war is death
You freedom ******* hypocrites

Our salvation taking
another high-life (Lip)
The middle-income lip
Our lips leaked
Being possessed the kiss
on empty

Humpty Dumpty sat
on her Lego lips
Singers the Talking Heads
Where are the feds to late
Those stolen lips
State of a wedding trips
Rainbow chalk the state was
on lip nightmare call
Being stalked (Lumber Jack)

The devil filler up poverty
The world being pulled
Push her lip up
                    > >

Arrowsmith bow and arrow
                    >>
  Losing elasticity lips go
UPSTATE gravity

"What an under(state)meant"
"The press (God Bless)
    the golden child
     lips filling in
       the gaps
What!! no comment"

 So sad we need the happy
Irish lad too many
    Sugar Dads
lip recession deadlines to meet
The curveball
Another sip we joined the
Navy but eyeshadow deep-over
the edge gray
The Seal had an unusual tail
Her lips fast food drive smashed
Her Meal

The peace lips blew far away
"Medieval Swords heart lips
            will pay"
Times come and go its excruciating
Lips went too far always mating
Imitating people takes a whole village
Of pain

But the spiritual blessing rain
In Woodstock concerts
What perks to gain
The acid trip music we can
sip each other's lips

    Now if this wasn't passion
What a state got smeared
Like a crime scene
of fashion
Her lips could rise
Like the Millenium

         Max
Playing the jazz sax
Still the income tax

But the state in a crisis
of sales tax
Star a stage minimum wage
All the states we travel her lips
The water stays refreshing where
On her body, he really sees it on
her lips nowhere else

How many states can you
count on your finger
Long lip Ranger

The Victoria Secrets
The Tra la the bra's on the
Five-star Hilton Hotel
hanger

Holding onto her guns
Going right or to the left
Powerful lips he went
off the cliff

Getting Burned and
the State tax
You earned
The Swearing
Her lip talk so caringly
Can we move her lips to
another state more cautiously
How her hips look like
they will inflate

I am not a painting by
your candlelight fate
I felt like a tax right off
Taxi yellow race her lips
on the meter money bluff
I ended up in the state of
*Michigan
Tricks are ****
Like a lip magician

Kentucky home was barrels
of Bourbon
I never said I wanted a drink
my name is Robin
Going to Deleware
what hardware did anyone care
So humble like the bumblebee
She was way too soft as her software

Have gun we travel but have lips we rumble

We need courage this world of states
can be savage
Gold bonds of "Dynasty European"
top dollar vultures mean
funds that's a grand entrance

Now I see how these states
start to unravel
California here I come right
back where
my lips started from

Her upper society lip could use
Champagne and caviar
The star was getting fat a nice trim
Grumpy beard make it a
short tax cut with him
Text and tweets no lip sweets
Rocky Colorado mountain men

French lips played art
Like Van Gogh perfect 10
Scenic route crazed
So many states should
be sued overly sexed suites

In Alaska, she was on a freeze

All the money in the world she got New York Token

All I asked the waitress
for State fair pie
My lips could have
used *Sweet Peach * so
pucker up
Don't be a sucker
Alabama state trooper
in Kansas City

What a spell click of heels

Georgia is always on my mind
Is New York only a state of
Frank Sinatra singing mind
What a big foot in her mouth
Nancy Sinatra dark lips Goth
State boots softly made
for loving that's just
what lips do one of these
Days my lips are going to
gloss all over you
Who's the Boss
So fasten your lip belts
The spiritual state always does the cross

Bumpy ride (Bette Davis) Eyes
Taking a trip to the end of the
boot of Sicily vineyards
Whats mine Jailbirds
She cut her lip when she was
in (Connecticut Movie cut)
On the Mystic Seaport lips were
getting hot ****** fit

Like a state disease fire pit
State of a lip disaster
But the state couldn't
resist her
Ending up in Arizona
Something is swizzling
it's not Kevin Bacon

Make no mistake when you plan
a state trip you better have your
weapon ready
Mafia bullets Bonnie and Clyde
they rob *Banks money Lips

filler is the contents of the words i say
just so i can be close to you
sometimes they're empty compliments
or observations
and you'll always reply in the same way
with filler
because i guess we're not close enough for a real conversation

I feel invisible
I am on mute
Nothing I say seems to register
I am not interesting
I am nothing
I am just a filler
Filling out some leftover space
I am the introns in your mRNA
I just happen to be there
I just happen to exist
But I might as well could not
I'll be invisible 'til I rot

When no one else is around
Count on her when you are down
She is the best seat filler in town
A warm body to take up the empty space
Always available, always ready for someone to use her
Never plan A
Always up for replacement
Wearing her heart around her neck
Like a noose or a leash
Waiting for the next puppet master to pull her strings
Sweet and funny, happy when shes around you
But inside she is dying, decaying
Because she knows what she is
She knows that the seat filler will all she can ever be with you
Why not her?
Why not her heart?
Is it that easy to watch her self destruct
That easy to push the ignition button without blinking an eye
Don't play dumb, or ignorant
You know what it does to her
But instead of letting her go, you keep her at arms length
Yearning, aching for a little more
Praying wishing that one day
One fine, beautiful moment you would see
All she wants is to be season tickets

Sometimes I feel like we just use other people
to fill in that gap of emptiness
when that special person in our lives
leaves you
and that is why
I can't truly grasp
never one hundred percent sure
I really don't know
if I can ever believe when
people or someone
say to me that they're
into me
or have
true sincere feelings
for me
that is because
what if I am also just a
gap filler?
just a temporary person
just filling in the emptiness
in them

We were all anxious about the takeoff. With one faulty engine and a short rough runway, we neded all the airspeed we could muster to get airborne. We hung on and braced ourselves as we roared down the runway. The bouncing suddenly stopped. We were airborn! we seemed to skim the wave tops for ages before we started a slow climb to our normal cruising altitude. This was another boring featureless flight, over the sea towards Darwin. I don't know what I was expecting, but whatever it was, I was dissapointed. Darwin was a mosquito ridden dump at  that time. We ate slept and took off after refuelling. Still with a faulty engine. The other aircraft did not come with us, this time we were alone and heading for a well known town in the outback. Alice springs. Now we were flying over some great country, it seemed so crisp and clean- even if most of it was desert. We landed at alice springs to refuel, and then took off with full tanks, heading for the Australian Air Force base near Adelaide, I think it was at Edinburgh Fields. Gordon was sleeping, or trying to, I was sitting by the window gazing at the countryside below. I began to see what looked like a vapour trail coming from the wing, there was one similar coming from the wing opposite too, it was very slight, was I seeing things, perhaps it was moisture in the air, I sat and watched for half an hour, it was more noticeable now, and it seemed to be coming from the fuel tank filler pipes. I thought it was worth a mention, and I went to the cockpit where the pilot and radio operator were talking to the fitters. The Pilot was thumping the gauges on a panel. I told them what I saw. Christ! the pilot and the fitters looked worried very worried.
He patted me on the shoulder, "Well done, we thought the fuel gauges must be faulty. He turned the aircraft around and headed back to Alice springs for another refuelling. The tanks were filled again, the filler caps were ******* down tight, and we took off again!  Twenty minutes later we were back for more fuel and the filler caps were checked and rechecked and finally ******* down as tight as possible. We took of again, and landed again, took on more fuel,and  tightened the filler caps. "It's too late to continue with the flight now, we'll stay in town tonight and try again in the morning. "That was easier said than done, we had no money and no credit, we managed to get a room at the pilots expense , but there was no food but a packet of biscuits.
I lay on the bed beside four others and wondered what tomorrow would bring.

This poem was only written to
Create a meter and a rhyme
There is no deeper meaning here,
So if you don't like wasting time
On mindless drivel, here's your hat
Because this poem is just that!

No wellsprings of emotion flow
Nor subtle allegories preach
Within these empty, patterned words -
I have no wish to moan or teach
Go somewhere else for love or fear
Because you will not find it here.

Now to apply some filler words
Like catnip, ice cream, roller rink,
Because I have no words to speak
And do not wish to feel or think.
I told you you were wasting time
Upon tetrameter and rhyme.

Lawrence, it’s um, doll…
or i see, i met a con
executioner.

When you look into my eyes
You'll be lookin at a homocide
That's your soul's ****** demise
It's about time you decide
Whether you want to star in a thriller
With a silent sociopathic killer
A regular body part miller
Nothing but a body bag filler
I be living in this house of pain
Behind these curtains vain
Torn asunder by the knife
That is sharpened in strife
Letting loose liquid crimson life

Today,
I did nothing of much importance.
Just listened to some of my favourite tunes,
and ate a tasty lunch.
Thought of a few late retorts
that would have been useful
in an argument I had weeks ago.
Watched the pattern on the floor
made by the fractured sunlight
through the cracks in my window.
Hugged my little sister for a long time
then we talked about useless stuff
and laughed a lot.
Stubbed my toe against the furniture,
used some colourful language.
Had some melty ice cream.
Freaked out a little bit
about my life
and it’s lack of direction.
Shrugged it off
and had another scoop.
Today,
I didn’t get any work done.
Today was a filler day
But today I had some fun.

I am sorry for ruining all vaginas for you
I hope you can recover eventually
She said

I hate to burst your **** bubble
But I’ve slid some lies between your thighs
When howling at your moon wasn’t so much praise
As it was longing for a change of ***** scenery

People change?

How I feel right now
is like when one time I was sick
And my parents recorded a show I watched
so I could watch it later
And at the end of the show
there was a number for a contest to go to space camp

I called that number
It was disconnected
I always find out the important stuff
A little late

I cried that day

I just wanted to go to space camp

And I just wanted someone to love me like a black hole
A warm black hole to put all my love into
**** me in and fix me like there’s no turning back
I mean in the darkness of space
They all look the same
All yank at you turbulent and fiery head rush passion

I mean we all love the same

So I am sorry I overshot your Venus
To crash land in Uranus
A semi-purposeful curious passion

You coulda yelled ****
We felt like ****
When we walked away

Parts of me have always been missing
And I tried to fill the gaps with you
Problem is when you might be gay and are fighting it
Your closet is a ******

Not your fault your beard looked funny on my ****
You can’t wear a person like an accessory
I can’t slap her like masculinity till I feel straight again
Some things aren’t right
I’m not right
And you are so messed up now
Because you have this superpower to turn men gay

You can’t turn men gay
You can only remind them of the pain that lies
In lying to themselves when they know
None of this feels right

None of it will

Dear former lover
Former black hole body
Former holder of my confusion
And filler of my empty spots

I ****** up by ******* you

I ****** up

My Darkness is what makes me
I embrace let it taste me
Down to the abyss
Death my favorite wish
Naturally a killer
Life is just a filler
I hold the cards what should I deal you
So dark feel me wicked
See a knife I want to twist it
Sadist or ******* either way I am gifted
You will never see me
You can even be me
My Darkness seeps into the scenery
Serial killer nah I'm much ill-er
My Darkness is primal I am a sealer of fate  
Death Note set the date
Allow me to demonstrate
Villain mastermind
What I am can't be defined
Dark so lovely go ahead try mug me
Eyes behold what's beautiful is ugly
Call me a sinner I'm not a beginner
We can play a game there is no winner
So let My Darkness take you
Devour remake you
Heaven will never miss
The devil in my kiss...♏

a quote of Bernard-Henri Lévy

~~~

the divers’ recovery, diverse,
shipwrecked salvage from different locations,
auctioned to the highest bidder,
tho the excised excerpts are exceptional,
none come to do the bidding,
for the provenance of words
belongs to all, and to none

~~
“so oft we trifle words,
expel them from the country of our body,
without passport and earnestness,
as if they were the cheapest of footnote filler,
day tourists, to be treated as leavings,
refuse for daily discardation,
barely noting their fast comings and faster disappearance,
but leaving not, a mark of distinction”

“the addicted pleasure words granted to we privileged few,
like every enslaved soul to the mind, which I am, I am,
evening dreams, midnight thinkings, sunrise seeings,
how can I infect and thus protect the young to the liberty
to love the crafted content of our human essence to better
comprehend that a moment caught on tape of our shared
words is a holiday, a celebration for the ages...and every molecule,
becomes a human tuning fork in concert, in pitch identical, in blood tainted with the simplicity of we are all the same, only words, this will transmit”

“murmur me, with soft downy charms,
these words discovered
recoursed and intended well to
pointedly offset and contradict
their very own tumultuous discovery uncovering,
tear tongue me
with calming, lapping word  wages,
hymns harmonious and fine homilies,
a call, a request,
a bequest
to sedate my shrill life

“some cells, microscopic, preserved digitally,
aged to imperfection, thrash my eyes,
making me speak in tongues I do not recognize,
but fluently possess, no wonder there,
the memory place fairly empty,
room aplenty for passerby's and the imagery
                                                         ­­ of the vaguest of dearly departed

skin is not the only mot shed,
                                                sloughing of woeful words”

“speak them slow and distinct,
for they arrive slow to you,
a trickling of refugees for your sheltering,
harbor them as full companions,
protected by natural law,
provision them well,
prepared and ever ready for a quick departure,
moor these words at the embarcadero,
for the next restless leg of endlessness,
which they themselves will inform you
will last longer than eternity,
long after there are no humans to speak them”

What if we're just a gap to fill the emptiness of a person?
A gap that will make them feel like a whole again
A gap to fill in for someone because another human being had tore them apart
And so they feel nothing but numbness because the other has left and has took their heart with them
A gap so they wouldn't feel lonely or abandoned
A gap that makes us feel like we're being used, so that the other person would feel better about themselves
A gap that someone has replaced us with because they've got plans that weren't fulfilled with another

And so I think
Maybe we do these things too
We have this gap that needs to be filled in
So that life wouldn't be so bad as it seems
Maybe we might be using another to get over someone else
Or a gap to be able to move on
But this gap, something that helps us not feel so alone in this world
We all do it and we all have it
And that's just the cycle of life

So what if you're just a gap to someone else?
Maybe they're just a gap to you too?
But it's scary to think sometimes that you might just be a gap for that person, so that they wouldn't feel empty
But that person isn't just a gap to you, they actually make you feel like a whole
And so we move on with life and find someone else to fill in that gap because of the pain of another individual brought upon us

I'd last about an hour as a clerk inside a store
invariably I'd shoot my mouth off
about someone's daughter dressing  like a *****
or making comments about the dreadful things  consumed
which would include a good 99% of the people in the room

I'd eventually end up getting my lights punched  out
after  *******  someone as  a fat ***  undiscerning lout
or cracking  some aside regarding what comprises that crud
and making faces of revulsion "you'd be better off eating mud"
ewwwww, you really eat that stuff?
this store should be sued for selling such bluff

children with diabetes, a third of adults obese
the courtesy clerk dies a little  for lack of surcease
line after line of vapid consumers
mindless knee-**** impetuosity belay the rumors
what's an adulterant, what's a filler?
propylene glycol alginate, yum yum
sorbitan mono sterate, shut up and eat it, its fun!
I can't even pronounce it, much less do I  care
need I be a scientist to enjoyably savor fare

Go ahead and poison yourself
the quirky clerk exclaimed
its ever so clear you're stupid and lame
stay mired in your pig-headed muck of  ignorance
you're exactly what they want
another brain dead consumer
a regular culinary savant
stuff  your face with no remorse nor heed
no worries, the clerk of little courtesy knows your need
he'll limply wheel  out your cart of miserable choices for you
and wise-crack some snarky rejoinder
then promptly get  beaten,  black and blue

I've begun to hide
the memory of his smile
between my bones
so I can still feel him
fill my empty spaces,
even when he's worlds away

Sometimes it's good to stare
and take the scene in,
holding it close.
The everyday walks,
the everyday talks.
Remember them.
Because these filler moments
and these places you see everyday,
shape you.
So hold them until they are a distant memory.

The memory of a death comes knocking at the door,but of a death that has been and gone before,
and it will come again, as it has for many years and many tears have been shed.

Fred Wimbow didn't know the time and wasn't quite sure how to dress for his interview,
but he knew enough that to impress, he'd better look his ***** and span,best boots and spats a nifty cravat and hair tonic on his moustache.
He set of to the interview with answers ready in his head and was hit by a van which was driven by a short sighted man from Hartlepool and then poor Fred was dead,quite so,
and when Death came a knocking at the door the widow Wimbow knew what for.

And she was waiting case in hand to go meet Fred in the promised land.

I see you crying, the pain's so deep inside,
I see your guilt and shame, you've lost all your pride.
I see you lonely, yearning to belong,
I see you lost and confused, because everything seems wrong.
Your broken heart is on your sleeve,
That no love or drug could relieve,
Oh if only there was just something to believe...

So when I'm filled with doubt, I will say this prayer,
Cuz I need to know if your light is always there...

God I'm lost and alone,
Please shine light from your throne.
I'm in need of your love,
Please shine bright from above.
God, let your light shine through me,
So all the world can see...

That more of you is all it takes for our burdens to be set free.

This is world so dark and cold,
And this sad song is getting old,
Father shine your light straight through my heart,
Let my walls fall apart,
Oh God this world needs some more of you...

Lord let your light shine through us,
To show them who we are,
God let your light take over,
So we shine just like the stars.
Cuz this world needs a little hope and love,
It needs their father from above,
Oh God this world needs a little more of you.

So when I need a helping hand, I will say this prayer, because I need to feel you're always there...

God I'm lost and alone,
Please shine light from your throne.
I'm in need of your love,
Please shine bright from above.
God, let your light shine through me,
So all the world can see...
That more of you is what we need, to be guided through eternity.

And I know that it's not easy
For us to shine for me and you.
The world around us crashes down, and we forget the word that's true.
Jesus died upon that cross
To save our sins and win our loss
In a world that needs some victory,
God will play through you and me.
Oh God, this world needs a little more of you.

Because this world's so dark and cold,
And this sad song is getting old,
Father shine your light straight through my heart,
Let my walls fall apart,
Oh God this world needs some more of you.

Your light heals the broken and the weak,
Provides any desire that we may seek,
Your light is the filler of our cup,
We won't run dry, we won't give up.
So pour your light right on us and let your grace fall like rain,
Because a little more of you is how we'll heal the pain.
Oh God, heal the pain...

When I'm hurt and I'm scarred, I will say this prayer,
Because I want your light will always be there...

God I'm lost and alone,
Please shine light from your throne.
I'm in need of your love,
Please shine bright from above.
God, let your light shine through me,
So all the world can see...
That more of you is all it takes to be a brand new me.

Because this world's so dark and cold,
And this sad song is getting old,
Father shine your light straight through my heart,
Let my walls fall apart,
Oh God this world needs some more of you.

When you don't recognize your reflection,
Come on run a new direction.
When you feel like there's gotta be more,
Come bend your knees to the floor.
When you're lonely in the dark,
A fearful dog that lost it's bark,
When you need to find a brand new self,
Come dust that bible off the shelf.
Open your eyes so you can see,
God has a plan for you and me.
His light will brighten the darkest places,
Fill every corner and empty spaces.
He has the power to make all things new,
Wash away what was black and blue,
Be your strength and dry your tears,
Fight away your greatest fears,
He will hear your every cry,
Take you home the day you die,
Forgive your sins and your mistakes,
He heals your heart when it breaks.
Oh when it breaks...

When my heart breaks, I will say this prayer,
Because I know God's light will always be there...

God I'm lost and alone,
Please shine light from your throne.
I'm in need of your love,
Please shine bright from above.
God, let your light shine through me,
So all the world can see...
That a little more of you is all it takes for us to be all that we can be.

Because our world is dark and cold,
And our sad songs are getting old,
Father shine your light straight through our hearts,
Let our selfish walls fall apart,
Oh God our world needs some more of you.
Oh God I need a little more of you...

So one day i will say...

There's a light in me,
That all the world can see.
I was lost, now I'm found,
You've turned my life around.
There's a love I feel,
That every hurt will heal.
God is there for you,
In everything you do.
And every where you go,
I hope you always know...

That all we need is just a little more, of God to save this world.

Oh just a little more...
Just a little more...
A little more of you in me.

I still dream of you late at night.

I dream of your silky black hair and your big brown eyes and for the night all seems right.

I wake up only to not find you there. It's not fair.
I miss you and we both know I still love you.

I often wonder where we went wrong
I Still listen to all of our songs. I listen to every second.
Every second, every tear that falls is just happy filler to that fills my day that's all.

If I had a time machine I'd travel back and try my hardest to make it all right,
but for now I will settle for you in my dreams even if it's just for the night.

~D.P. Shoemaker

Only fifteen,
He is only Fifthy,
He, her cake eaten,
Her Grandfathers peer,
the Child Fears, that man is so Filthy.
Poverty is the biggest SINNER.
Orphaned,
Two little heads, 10 and 5
Dependant on this 15 year old mother-sister
AIDS is the killer.
Those groaning two little stomachs need a
filler.
Now destitute,
She drops out,
Looks but cant find work
Whites say experience lacks
Spotted by a mercedes benz driving
malechavaunist
She is robbed her innocence
to put food in the table.
Now one day,
The mother-sister never returned,
Exported to Mexico,
Shes been sold.
As a *******,
*** slave,
They made *** tapes
The man called the woman by parts of herself.
When she cried.
"Shut up, you *****. You miss mama *******?"
Tapes
Sold online.
Be acknowledged
These kids grew up with Aunt
Biological parents deserted them
just when the young were toddlers.
Their mom in Gauteng, a Fan of *******
..........just one day whilst watching **** on
You tube she saw a child with a face like hers
Blinked her eyes, looked again
Her baby
Her baby is a **** star.
Called the mercedes benz driving old man...
how could he have known?
He was never there.
oh He Sold her.
They recognised their child from *******.

Let the poetry of others repose in majestic halls:
My poems are filler for paper shredders,
For packing in shipping boxes,
And backing for flypaper sticky strips;
To wipe the muddy soles of shoes
That have seen too much of springtime
In the garden.

Others poetry fills the airwaves, and sits between the covers of books;
My poetry is for grocery lists,
And sudden messages you need to scribble while on the telephone,
And maps to undiscovered geneological treasures
That are only a township away-
To trace the faces of cool tombstones
Under a mid-day sun.

You won't find my poetry near any other kind of list
That doesn't say get bleach, dog food, and toilet paper.
Still, my poetry is from a well lettered life-
I have written all my heartbeats, and most of my sighs
Into sibylline hieroglyphics, from midnight initiations
In the secret brotherhood, of my own soul:
And I will die a freeman, because nobody
Will ever feel the need to own any of these words.

Polished off the filler rods
now lifes got me dreaming
soley about the silver lining
the spooning of the woman on the moon
Keep mapping the schematic, the big move
heading straight to the oil soaked cash
Ready again to make the great dash
This time I'll save my dimes
for those unavoidable hard times
I'll pile it under my matress
a secrete stash thats all mine
Work my *** to the bone
by welding up a storm
Sitting all leathered up
on my light weaver throne
To meditate and consentrate
on 13 times the suns bright
Keep the eyes focused and fixate
count to ten when the mechanics frustrate
Troubleshoot the lines of life
fix the issue then
collect the lute.

"Just,
Um,
Like,
I don't know,
******* filler ******* filler"

"Um, Oh! I saw a cloud today.
Maybe it will rain. Maybe not, okay.
I think it snowed a bit yesterday."

"Gosh, school literally *****, doesn't it?"
School is easy, you're just being a *****

"Food is, like, the best idea I've ever heard"
Yes, something in my mouth for when I can't find words.

"What kind of dog is that?"
Who gives a ****, it's cute.
I just can't think of a reason to talk to you

****, is there any more to say?
"I literally had no idea you were gay"
That's nice. Is it my turn to talk again?
**** that, I've used up all my conversation.

waiting in a white room with no furniture
the humming air conditioner
can’t even drown out my thoughts
waiting to go back to maryland
for a hyperbolic death sentence—
to meet with the wonderful hypocrites
who shaped my cynicism
and anxiety
to feast on the last meal
of failure.
waiting to hear back from potential employers
who hold my future in their hands
but prefer to let me stew
waiting for the tears to start falling
I can feel my eyes welling
my lungs lugging every last bit of air
to my heart as it pounds
like an urgent knock at the door
waiting alone
with just my thoughts.
waiting to see the friends
who never got out to see the world
to look at me with delight, hoping
soon I will re-join their ranks
as a mindless tractor mechanic or slurpee filler
waiting for the cheap bottle whisky
in my stomach to regurgitate  
waiting for numbing conversations
about menial tasks and news
like the weather, or something else I can see in front of me.
waiting to be coma.
waiting to see my reflection—
or shadow.
waiting for paper and pen,
waiting for suicide by rhyme at the end.

The rivers channel rain
The way I channel pain
I begin to see the futility
In denying pain's utility
Pain takes on a ****** nature
And becomes my intellectual savior

I shatter the mirror
And swallow the shards
The pain becomes clearer
So my ******* get hard
Glass fills my lungs
They're profusely bleeding
From words that stung
Being my daily greeting

***** shoots out from my gun
When I cut myself for fun
My hose starts spewing
Once vultures start chewing
It's the only way I can cope
When it's pain that gropes

I live in a world that mixes *** and violence
I live in a world that mixes *** and silence
Where the painkillers
Become the pain creators
And our life's filler
Is being pain traders

A bull has charged through my library for a decade
At this point every bovine movement cuts like a blade
He creates pain that lasts
When every day becomes my past

I had a dream
A sorcerer controlled my body
But he only wanted pieces of me
Bones started snapping out of my skin
Blood spurting everywhere
I awoke to ***** down there
I guess life isn't always fair
When I dream to avoid stares
The real pain comes when I care

When the privileged boycott
The impoverished boy's cot
He learns to ******* in the streets
And gains an appreciation for feet
Feet that trample
The pain is ample
When people powerfully push him away
So he decides to go against the grain
But there's no peace to be attained
And all he's left with is pain

"italicized idleness
illuminated by the
tic toc of time;
fueled fluorescent in
the blue confusion of
flickering bulbs &
clinical corridors of
filler conversation."

let me tell you,
do not stay in a relationship
that makes you questioning your
worth, or a relationship
that feels like a big question mark.

you deserve someone who loves you
without looking back,
someone who does not make you
a second best or option,
someone who does not involve
you in the comparison game.

because you are not a void filler,
you are not a backup plan,
you are not a second choice.

let me tell you your worth
and what you deserve;
you are a galaxy with all its beauty,
you are all the best parts about art.
you deserve someone who is willing to give
the world to you.

He over looks me,
His emerald orbs focusing on
The girl next to me.

To him, I am only a shadow;
A filler of space.
My only purpose is to exist,
And for my feelings,
Exactly the opposite.

His ***** blonde hair
Matches mine exactly,
Complementing it like it should.

Still, whatever I do,
He looks the other way.
He looks at her, and only her,
Even though she doesn’t feel that way
About him.
He’s wasting his time on her,
When I’m right in front of his face.

Sometimes I think about waving,
Or saying hi,
But I know that it will give me away.
And maybe this is just a silly infatuation,
But it feels solely and completely real.

I don’t want him to be the boy with the green eyes.
I want him to be my boy with the green eyes.

Being told you are beautiful
Is one thing
But being told you are beautiful
And believing it
Is another

I have been called beautiful
More times than there are freckles on my face
(And that is a lot)
But not until recent
Did I ever believe it

Usually I would brush it off
And see it as an empty compliment
Or a conversation filler
Or a device used for personal gain
Any time someone would tell me I was beautiful
I wouldn't believe it
Not even a little bit
And that's the way it was for a very long time

I was too used to people leaving
Especially after I let them get close to me
And touch me
I was too used to being let down
I couldn't trust anyone but myself
And I didn't think I was beautiful
With or without anyone's truthful or deceiving opinion
I truly thought I was the farthest from beautiful

Usually when people would give me such a compliment
I would say
"No, I'm not
And you don't mean that"
Most didn't bother to argue
So I never once believed it
Until I heard you say it

At first I tried to do what I always did
But you wouldn't take no for an answer

I'm not sure if it's the way you say it
Or how many times a day you say it
Or just the fact that I trust you enough
But I really do believe you
When you tell me I'm beautiful
Hearing the words, "You are so beautiful, Evynne"
And feeling the honesty and passion pierce my heart
Is something I have never experienced before

I may not think I am as beautiful as you like to tell me I am
But at least I believe it
And when I say I believe it
I do not mean I agree
But rather, you tell me I am beautiful
And I think to myself, "You really do make me feel beautiful"
Regardless of any prior opinions I held of myself

Now that is a very powerful thing

Poem 6 edited
I know and understand the cynicism of most on this topic, but I can assure you that I have not invented any of this, so treat my poem with the seriousness it deserves.

It is a tale of forgotten events.

Things I'd pushed away from my mind as a child.

Things I did not believe we're real.

The dark.

The uncanny.

The Unknown.

I'll begin...

The Evil Tree.

To get to the gravestone we had to pass an old tree
One with a terrible history
A tale that ended, evilly

We walked through the dark woods toward the evil tree.
The mist hung the way it does normally,
but in an evil way.

The trees around the evil tree leaned away fearfully
Or some of them leaned towards the tree,
but less toward than they'd normally be
If it weren't an evil tree

The evilness of the evil tree
was so great that it hid it cleverly
By looking just like every other tree
But evil

Its roots were evil roots
Taking evil nutrients
That looked like other nutrients,
But evil

The evil nutrients fed the evil trunk
Like an evil woody chunk
Filled with standard sappy gunk
But evil

The evil gunk was in the branches too
The branches were evil through and through
They were deepest, darkest evil brown
With evil moss up and down
Swaying in an evil way
Like other branches day to day,
But evil

The branches followed on to the evil twigs
Twigs thinly evil; branches evilly big
Growing out ShArP AnD POINTY!
Like skinny arms, evilly jointy!!
But at the ends of these twigs...

Unlike ordinary twigs...

Were leaves,

BUT EVIL LEAVES!!!!!
Evil leaves!
EvIL lEaVEs!!!
Everywhere were evil leaves!
Some of them high in the trees!
Some of them were on the floor
And on the graves I saw yet more!
Evil green
And brown and red!
Many of them just lay down DEAD!

And if that were not enough...

I walked toward this evil tree
Unaware how evil a tree could be
As I bravely gained upon this pillar
I saw a hungry caterpillar
It was crawling in the normal way
Like caterpillars do every day

Slowly, it crawled
Creeping
Twisted and contorting its body
Edging ever closer
Toward me

I innocently reached down to pick him up

And that's when I noticed

The bite marks

In the leaf

An evil leaf!!

Time seemed to slow right down
I noticed too late, the evil brown!
I saw its evil greeny hue
And it's evil hairy back
Looking like other caterpillar do,
that don't give you a heart attack
Tick and tock
The time passed by
I saw the evil monsters eye
Raised upon an evil stalk
Wondering if he could scream or talk
What would he say?!

He'd say...

I'm an evil caterpillar
I will maim and devour these leaves
Not just the evil, the innocent too
Their life will be a tasty filler
And as their branchy mother greaves
She can watch me as I chew, chew, chew
Just like other caterpillars do
But evil!

And then I'll grow an evil cuccoon
One with plenty of evil room
And hang high in the evil branches
Where nobody would take their chances

Outside, it's still and eerie calm
Inside I start to dis embalm
Myself
I flay my skin
And then begin
To change
Evilly!!

And after many evil days
You think you've lost my evil ways
Until I break
I'm born anew
My evil body grew and grew
The most hideously evil things
A pair of pretty butterfly wings!
BUT EVIL!!!!!

And as I had this evil thought
I realised that I was caught!!
The caterpillar crawled on to my hand
But ...
strange enough I felt just grand!
There was not heat nor evil sting
Just this tiny little thing
I realised he wasn't evil
Less evil than a common weevil
I lifted high, held him aloft
When suddenly he fell back off!

I looked down on him, like a God
Lifted my foot and then I trod!

I now know what happened you see
He passed his evil on to meeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
Mwahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!!!!!

we both work in the postal service
but neither one of us
has ever sent a single love letter
maybe it's the drill of the job
maybe its the grind of the machines
or the clack of the keyboards
grind turns to a drone
and i look around to what we thought
were industrialized patents
were actually what we had once considered our friends
was that where they disappeared to?
instead of quitting the dead end
i had assumed too fearful to follow the leap
they hid away in mail bins and P.O. boxes
i thought i was alone
maybe i was
maybe they really did leave
their souls gone
with empty shells of bodies
remnants of what once was
yes
i am still alone
those who i knew have fled the building
in search of a more meaningful existence
winding in up in god knows where
anywhere but here
these gluttonous pantomimes only accept hopefuls
midlife crises who leap
at the opportunity for promotion
like increasing payroll would reduce their age
same as the twenty five year old liberal art grads who need a filler
to help pay rent while they work
on what will collectively become hundreds of thousands of volumes unpublished
here i stand
twenty eight years old
and strip off my badge
as it falls to the floor
i walk out the door
say hello to the next boarding train
(last stop your hometown)
and goodbye to the dead end road.