Sun at its peak, everything outside is so bright,
but her room is giving a horrific sight.
She stands in front of mirror wearing his favorite dress.
Her reflection looks back at her, asking
"who are you?"
She touches her lips, closes her eyes.
"You're a freak and I love it. Can you be mine?"
She opens her eyes wide,
as woke up from a nightmare,
or maybe it was only a haunted memory.
But something is breaking inside.
She picks up lipstick, paints her lips red.
Looks damaged but but beautiful outside.

"I love you so much. You're the best thing happened to me. Stay with me forever. You're my life."
She walks towards the side table.
A suicide note is waiting there to get read.
Burning it with her lighter, she smiles.

"Why are you so depressed all time? What is bothering you?
Why you get this anxiety? You got me baby. Its all fine."
She turns and makes her calendar marked 6th of July.
Putting all pain behind,
she lefts a sigh of relief as if the beast,
that stalks her is duped forever.

"Why are you so possessive? I hate it.
How can you have a lot of Internet friendships but no friends in real? You gotta change yourself."
She walks through the door.
A new life is ahead her.

"No you don't have to change yourself this way. Don't be childish."
She is going down through stairs.

"There is nothing normal with you. You always exaggerate things. Sometimes I hate even myself to be with you."

Suddenly she hears a phone ring coming out of her room.
Her stomach drops.

"Things are not working out baby I'm sorry..."

She is going back to her room.

"We must get separated."

Her hands trembling, her heart making a one last wish.

"Why did you cut your wrist? I hate you even more now"

Mommy's text was there that she might get late today.

"You're a freak. Get out of my life."

She smashes her phone into mirror.
She is done with being all fine.
She is not going outside now to show the world that she is strong.
Her screams filling the room.
"I love you please come back."
But only echoes are there laughing back at her.
And here she goes
writing again a suicide note.
Lately I wasn't feeling fine and I wrote this. Maybe there are some mistakes but this is what all I have to write
Elizz 4d
The dying rays of the sun
Reaching up to kiss its pink tinged clouded lovers
Blue powdered sky dancing behind
Stealing its breath
And unknowingly
Stealing mine
Sweeping my heart away
With the very last ray
Just to do it again
Taking my eyes and filling them
Pitchers full of awe and delighted shock
Because holy hell
You are the most beautiful thing
That my eyes have ever been graced with
And its terrifyingly terrific
Because every time the sun sets
You always change
Thank you
For unlocking the door to my sealed memories
Happy ones
Lost ones
Ones where if I thought about it before
I wouldn't see the shade of happiness
Or taste the laughter
I'd just watch the sadness
Slide comfortably over my heart
I'm glad that you were the one to steal it
And my last breath
I'm grateful that you were the last thing I saw
Before I laid that old side down on a bed
Weaved and sown out of regrets and scars
Draped in sadness and anxiety
A grave fit for me
Thank you
Nyx 2d
You're name still echoes within my mind
The possible meaningless things that makes me question my life
I swore to forget you
To remove you

Yet you so easily walk back in
Its as if you see through me
Every wall and facade
You have the key to each lock
That stands in your way
Though the others struggle
Attempting to fill your place
You simply won't let them
Stopping them from filling that empty space
My hearts opened to you
Again once more
But the question is
Do I still love you the same as before?
Am I missing you
Or do I just miss the idea of you
The sweet gentleman touch
Is causing quite a fuss
I care for you though
I can say that with pure honestly
Though my love for you has changed
Faded into void of endless possibility
Somewhere within I still long for your touch
The Affection is intoxicating
Those sweet words are pure bliss
Though theses things leave me contemplating
Contemplating why you left me like this
Though my heart is still riddled
Screaming at me why
I know I shouldn't let you back in
I shouldn't let you waste anymore of my time
through the silence that speaks louder then any words could
I still care for you
But never again will I feel anything more
Because I refuse to be broken
Broken like I was once before
Lauren R Jun 27
So he texted back once. Once with an exclamation point and an emoji. My teenage tech savvy brain read this as some semblance of interest. Of course, it's only a little thing. I read too much into it, and I knew that. I didn't expect anything. It's been 24 hours. I think his birthday is in 2 days. He could be busy. Is it arrogant to even postulate anxiety on his behalf? Well, anyway, I've been keeping busy. I've been marathoning movies and drawing self portraits of me surrounded by hearts with pretty cartoon eyelids.

But I think I'm worried. I'm worried that I'll never be able to love something I know. I don't know when I'll love someone without filling in the blanks. I wish I could get someone that I like to like me back, not the other way around. I suffocate in the arms of men, their kisses like battery acid on my fairy wing lips. It bubbles through and leaves me flightless. I just want a pretty boy to sweep me off my feet and cure the boredom that too, gnaws holes in me.
The Old Gang
a committee set up in WWII Britain
to develop WWI infantry style tanks
although it did help foster
the advent of the Churchill MKIV, a British
infantry tank loved by her crews
British tank development lagged
considerably from the German panzers
throughout the beginning of WWII
although the Germans should have
spent more time producing the reliable PZ IV
instead of focusing on heavier weapons
Allied bombing had already taken its
toll on German production
the Americans focused on the Sherman
a lightly armoured medium tank
later in the war Sherman Fireflies appeared
for the British boasting a long barreled 17pdr gun
the Americans upgunned their Shermans to the M4A3E8
featured in the film FURY (2014) appearing too were
the Hellcat and Jackson tank destroyers
late in WWII the Allies had tanks that
could take on the Germans in the American M26E3
Pershing and British Comet

today the world is quickly filling out its divisions
of tanks with the newest and latest models
all with air defence capability and crewless turrets
I shudder to think if these behemoths are ever used
in war but you never know when the emphasis is
placed on weapons development and procurement
instead of on social and political changes
God help us all
kojo 4d
The roses of the garden where but an illusion,
the looking glass was filled with a dead man's dream,
Of flying bullets and a blazing gun,
Our blood was washing down a carbon stream.

I see these visions of another time,
Filling my head with the school-bell chime,
And so the white doves came,
And took me on their shoulders,
And when the night was tame,
The world did seem so much colder.

The sun shone thru the trees,
That's all I could see,
Was the weight of the world,
On the back of a boy,
And his busy brain swirled,
Like a broken Christmas toy.

And so the leaves fell in golden grace,
And my tears swelled in sweet embrace,
The death of a father,
And the sin of a lover,
Seemed to me to be a bother,
And so I ducked for cover.

Behind the pickup truck,
Beneath the carpenter's chair,
Two girls tempted lady-luck,
And the brothers stopped by the village fair.

Until the leaves fall gray,
And the sister-wives see the light,
Cry little boy who can't stop to play,
Beyond the simple town,
Where the Greensleeves start to fight,
And the masses to pray.
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