I’m afraid to close my eyes…
not because I’m afraid to die,
but because I’m afraid of what will happen..

I keep asking myself what would be the people’s reaction if I die.
Some may be happy ,
some may ignore,
some might be sad because too many expenses for my coffin.

Almost Everyone I’ve known/met,
they just love being with me
because they need something from me.

I’ve never experienced love
in this world without price.

Everyday, my thoughts are killing me.
But today I feel like I’m really going to die tonight,
because…
my Mom said “I’m thankful to have a daughter like you”
my brother said “This house would be boring without you”
hearing those words from them is the best feeling I’ve ever felt.

    They say, you only know who truly loves you when you die.
    In that case, I wanna die.
    I want feel to be love,
    that they didn’t expect anything from me.

* *And I’m ready to die.
Is there someone that would Miss Me if I’ll die?
Am I worthy to be Love ?

DARKNESS loves me a lot.
Should I love it back , as it loves me?

I feel hopeless each night as I close my eyes.
I see things I don't want to see,
I hear sounds I don't wanna hear.

As I open them,
I SEE LIES.
LIES in their action,
LIES in their conversation.

**I wonder if people sees what I can see.

FACT: Promises aren'T meant to be broken.

He's fine.
He's fine without me.
:')

Still Holding ...
still holding on those promises we've made.

"Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the single person you thought would never hurt you."

©

I love you too much ...
to let you go, for your happiness.

I love you too much ...
to be fool, to believe that you'll remember those promises we've made.

I love you too much ...
for me to wait for years , until you'll love me again.

I love you too much .
even it gives me too much PAIN

Seeing you with her
my heart breaks into pieces to pieces
pieces to pieces ...
but
when I see in your eyes
how happy you are with her
those pieces heart, BEATS.

Before: "Amor Vincit Omnia"
After: "et ego odi"

You can put filter in your life , but it depends on you . Whether you like it to be dark or light.

There is really a person who can only see those people who he/she loves and didn't love him back. But  never appreciate those people who really loves them . Because he/she is blinded by his pride. Blinded by those things he/she wants.

Spending time alone, gives an opportunity to discover who you are. *To be Alone *doesn't mean you're Lonely.

When I saw you,
My stomach was rumbling ,
I dont know what it is ...
It feels like someone punch me in it.

Every lunch , when you're around
I can feel the pain ,
deep down in my ribs,
I can hear the screams
the scream of my silent stomach


but then I knew it was just a Hunger

"Mature"
doesn't based on age, on experience,
but it is based on how you think about the situation .

It's not about how you looks in the mirror, but it's about how you see yourself in the mirror.

It is really hard to be a Real Mother. Because as A Mother you should be the key / should be the one to lead her children to the right path.

We are living in a mysterious world

Some people would say ...
"You can reach the stars, nothing is impossible."
Some would say ...
"Don't waste your time in reaching the stars, It is impossible."

Some people would say ..
"Dream High, you deserve better"
Some would say ...
"Stop being ambitious, donT dream too much"

Some people would say ...
"It's just a test, don't give up."
Some would say ...
"It is not for you, let it go."

Some people would say ...
"Follow your heart, not your brain. Your brain is rude, it can feel nothing.
Some would say ...
"Follow your brain, not your heart. Your heart is a fool, it knows nothing."

People can give you advice.
But in the end , it's your decision that matters.

*If you will listen to this world,
you'll have no direction because ... *

*We are living in a mysterious world.

Once failed gaining someone's trust,
just because of once mistakes
now trust is taken.

Breaking someone's promise,
because of a reason(s) broke a promise
now promises are called "Lies"

Failing grades,
when best is not enough that caused by failing grades,
now losing hope in doin' best but results to fail.

Struggles slaps you in lessons
but leaves a scars that will remind you of being usefulness

I was lost,
and now still lost.

Let's start it over again
one more talk,
one more long conversation,
one more friendship.
Please, One More Chance.

One more hug,
one more kiss,
one more romance.
Please, One More Chance.

No more crying,
no more pain,
no more heartbreaks.
Please, Give Me One More Chance.

Give me one more chance
to show how much I regret
days without you...

Give me one more chance
to show how much ...
how much I LOVE YOU.

For some reasons.
Sometimes they get worse ,
but sometimes they get better.
People change.

O eco-friendly,
o saver of nature,
I am nature too.

From customs,
from societies,
why..
do you cut me off..
why do you divide me like that?

Why do you teach the lesson of truth
when you cannot even listen to the truth,
when someone speaks the truth
you start telling rules and regulations.

Hearing your name hurts me alot.
gives me a fresh wounds.

In a silent place,
where a silent man
met a silent woman,
whom fell in love silently.

Silently the years passed,
they speak to each others feelings
with their silent tears.

The sun only shines in one direction, and once it shines there's a lot of people can see it. Except to those people who hide their self

Excuses when you want to hide your tears but your tears dont want to be hidden.

1. There's dust went inside my eyes.
2. I was yawning.
3. A fail sneeze
4. I washed my face and some soap went in my eyes.
5. I was watching a drama.

How many tears should I waste?
How many wounds should I get?
How many nights do I have to cry?
How many years should I hide myself?
How many years does this pain takes?

How many lies should I hear from them?
How many years should I put this mask Smile on ?


OK IM DONE !

Why do these things  happened to me?
Where did I go wrong?

Questions in my life,
where You can only answer .

My family.
My Friends.
The person I love.
My Studies.
My dreams.
My goals.

I did all my best

Where should I put myself?
Do this world have a place for a person like me?

ANSWER ME!

I'm losing hope.
I'm losing everything.
I'm losing my soul.
I'm losing reasons to live.
I'm tried of wearing mask.
I'm tired . I'm tired.

ooooooh !
WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Some people are too busy on getting on what they don't have and never realized that they are losing what they have.

Some people are blinded by lies, but most people refused to see the truth.

It's time to face the truth,
I will never ...
never be with you