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Katie Biesiada Apr 2014
It's so hard to go through life
Separated from your friends.
Without a friend to tell everything to,
Be it everything that was great,
Or everything that wasn't,
You feel empty.
Alone.
Depressed.
Conversing via text,
Facebook,
Or snapchat
Just isn't the same.
You want someone to hug you
Or run up and surprise you
Just for the heck of it,
Or just to make you smile.
You want to feel the connection
When you look into someone's eyes
And can see their story.
And you want someone to listen
As you try to unravel your own.
Especially if you're broken
And torn to shreds
From all the use
Your so called friends at school
Put you through.
You want to know that someone's
There
At 3 am
When the tears and hurt won't stop.
But how do you know
If the person you text everyday
Will be there for you
When you think about ending it all:
The pain
The sleeplessness
The everything?
How do you know
They're there
When you never hear their voice
Or see what's behind their eyes?
How do you know
They're not fed up
With all of your life's problems?
How do you know...?

I don't.
Katie Biesiada Apr 2014
These patches of fog that hang overhead
Amongst the highest mountain peaks
Are the same ones that cloud my mind
And cling to every corner
Masking my emotions.
Katie Biesiada Apr 2014
You make promises
That break as easily as my
Heart.
And the thunder in my head
Flashes thoughts of you
Until it's too late for me
To stop drowning
In my tears.
Katie Biesiada Apr 2014
I want to know your 2am heartaches.
I want to hear your demons when they keep your mind awake.
I want to know your walk.
I want to help you fight your inner battles.
I want to see the skeletons hiding in your closet.
I want to feel your heart as it skips a beat or two.
I want to be the one you call when the tears won't stop.

And I want you to want to know me as much as I want to know you....
Katie Biesiada Apr 2014
Oh how I wish
We could test the waters
Of this stormy sea
That is you and me
For it is oh so tempting
But I fear that if we
Sink into what this could be
One of us will
Drown.
Katie Biesiada Apr 2014
This silence is killing me.
Was it too much?
Am I that annoying?
Should I give them space?
The mind is a powerful thing
Because it can make or break someone's day
With all the crazy concoctions
And scenarios it cooks up
And the pain it inflicts
Even when there is nothing there.
It's all about interpretation.
The mind can help you pass a test
Or make you fail.
The mind can make a dream come true
Or ruin it with the nightmare of
Reality.
The mind is where I see you and me.
The mind is where I am free.
From pain.
From torture.
From life.
My mind is where I go
When I can look in the mirror
No more.
Katie Biesiada Apr 2014
I need to go somewhere else
Where pain is illegal
And happiness is free -
If I could find that place,
Life would be so much easier for me...
Because all I know is that society's corrupt
With the fake and the impossible
And the hurt and the cruel
The only option i see is for me to just give up...
But I'm stronger than that. <3
I am a jigsaw puzzle…
Packaged, broken down and oddly pieced.
Vivid colors. A curious captivation.
Although… with time they have faded…and creased.

Handed down like an antique quilt.
Fragile and warn, only portions of my picture complete.
Left wondering if I will ever be seen as one.
Admired as whole, even with corners somewhat oblique.

So I set out on a journey:
Re-genesis of the soul.
Craving colors unimagined:
An apocalypse of the world of dull.

Along the way I caught a glimpse.
I unearthed Utopia.
A world lent only to dreams and fairytales.
Yet I couldn’t seem to give in and face this phobia.

I continued along my search.
This time with a new groove in my step.
Part of me wanted to turn back,
But that could’ve meant loosing the little I had left.

I felt something flowering within.
I may have looked away, but that moment a seed was planted.
Roots of strength embedding themselves into my soul,
A new chance at life finally granted.

Fresh oxygen to inhale,
As this life grows inside of me.
Battling with worry and yet no panic at all.
Something so charming and enormous, the world deserves to see.

Branches of love breaking through my surface,
A bungee cord tugs, than allots some slack.
Leaves of unwritten memories begin to evolve.
This budding life needs nurture…I need to turn back.

Before I can set foot to turn around…
Utopia at my fingertips.
Life, nurture…a wonderland unsought.
And that is all before the meeting of our lips.
October 19, 2013
annore wu Mar 2014
sixteen,
i dreamed
of utopia.
(c) annore 2014

— The End —