I stood there and I stared at him
I told him I loved him and it'd all be okay
But he knew I lied again.

2am and I'm barely getting home
He's waiting in the living room by his phone
Waiting for enough strength to tell me to leave
Instead, I open the door and he leaps to embrace me.

He knows what I'm doing
He looses his mind, I continue to submit
He's screaming and crying
He pushes me and I deserve it

There's not a thing that I can do
There's not a word I haven't said
I shatter him into pieces
Every night I come home from another's bed.

Vintage baby
With your 519 Levi's and high tops
Slicked hair, don't care
Soft eyes you risen angel
Vintage baby
You got me
Yeah, you got me
You got me good
I got it bad
Watching you against your '67 Camero  
Slowly ashing away your drag

You've always got some pretty little thing
Mid week comes and she has a new name
You're rugged baby
Made for heartache, a physical heart break
Modern day Greaser
The baddest in the school
I wonder about you as I sun bathe in my pool
Walking home or running from basic
Good girl I stay but watching you is toxic
Give me a chance baby, I promise you'd like it
Turn a good girl into a terrible classic babe
I promise you'd like it

How sad for you,
That you were not the chosen girl
And yet when he calls for you
You're right there.

How lonely for you,
That for years you were forgotten
Until one day he remembers you
And you're right there.

How pathetic you are,
That you have your own man
But for some reason when this one pays you attention
You're right there.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
You're always waiting for him.

He keeps her photo in his wallet
From all those years back when
They made mistakes and loved each other
In those brief summer months spent

He keeps her photo there for certainty  
To remind him love is real
And even though he threw it all away with her
The picture helps him heal

So many years have past since then
And she was so long ago
She still looks just the way he remembers her
When pulls out that old photo

You're so used to trickery
I wonder if you've played tricks on me
You see, I would never know if you had
Because you're a trained elite.
Taught to keep secrets and analyze society
Prepare for the worst, yet remain calm
You stand guard for traveling families
While dismantling bombs.

Do you pick my brain and take notes
On my answers and reactions?
Do you see me as a potential hazard to society
Or a person with love and compassion?
I know you must remain strong all day
with your guards standing tall
But with me, I promise,
You may let them all fall.

Man down, man down
Get your weapons, hit the ground
Terror and madness stretch from town to town
Escape the ****** streets, run from the sound.

Hey guys,

For a long time I kept my poetry to myself. It was the only outlet I had to express my thoughts and feelings. Since finding this site and receiving all of the support from everyone, I've decided to create a website as another outlet to share my work. Mostly everything I've posted on here is there, with a few exceptions.

I'd really love it if you guys would check it out and let me know your thoughts. What you like, what you don't like, etc. I feel like everyone here has been a helping hand in it.

Thanks so much guys! :)

Www.reflectionpoetry.com

But we decided to play hide and seek in this bed
Pulling the sheets over our eyes instead
Gripping each other through the heat of the moment
Bitter Monday mornings when our eyes were forced to open
Guilty pleasures and a wrong turn in judgment
Amidst the pillow-talk and screams you became my weekend sacrament

You asked me to listen
But all I see are your lips moving
All I think of is your tongue
The places I would rather it be right now
Shhh. Shut up, I'm listening..
To my own thoughts.

It's the strangest thing
To think you're in love
And then in the end
To not really know what it was.
In the end you start to question
"Does love even exist"?
Because I swear I think I would have
felt it by now if it did.
In the end one mans' hurt weighed on you
Reminds you of all the others
And how they all turned out to be
No different than each other.
In the end you see no light
But that's normal and that's okay
Because soon you will see a new light again
And you will forget all this pain.
That smile to come in the future
Will be worth all this mess
And so just remember these things, my dear
When you start to feel down and distressed.

She stares at the ocean the way she sees her life
As all was lost
Like there’s just too much to grasp
As if she didn’t have a say
As if she has no control
She loves the salty air caressing her body
And the sand hugging her feet
Not understanding that nobody is loving her
Because she‘s not loving us
She reaches for the edge time and time again
While we reach for her and pull her back
She walks down the coast in a haze
While we search in the fog for her
She is lost at sea
Singing to herself about a drunken sailor
Do I forgive her...
For giving up
For letting go
No, no I don’t.

You say you want a woman
Yet you seem to want less,
A female who seeks attention
Through her flawless appearance.
A picture you like
Based on her womanly assets
Baby this image is imperfect
You can't see your flawed mindset.
You want a woman who loves herself
Yet has no self respect
I don't understand your logic
It sounds like you want an object.

(Short Story)

The questions burned inside of me
searing through my guts to my core
leaving a trail of ash through this house
treating my blood like gasoline
smoke rising to my head
melting my brain
Down to this;
One question -

Did he do it?

I could hear my heart beating and watched the hairs on my skin shake a little from the rumble of its thunder.

I asked this question to myself over and over. First, in disbelief. Not letting the facts in front of me fully sink in. But as hours passed, the question began to change and I began to see the woman in the mirror staring back at me a little bit differently.

We’ve almost been here. Time and again. This place of such uncertainty and unknown. But never this close. Not here where we are today. I poured a glass of wine and kept the channel 3 tv on mute. Leaned against the cabinets and granite counter top in the kitchen. I put my head down. Starting at the residue of water stains on the glass that I had chosen. These water stains are disrupting my peace, I thought. Just another flaw in this house that nobody else sees. Infidelity allegations, sleepless nights, bedroom fights, and now this?

I put the glass down, found my way slowly in my Saint Laurent Swarovski crystal-embellished satin pumps through the dim, echoing hallway to the den. My place for morning light and his for evening company and cigars. I looked all around, starring at every wall. Flashbacks of us stripping down, him gripping my waist as he thrusted inside of me while I held on to these walls for stability. A house that has seen many things. If these walls could speak I may not believe their stories.

But this story, is difficult to disbelieve. Not revealed from walls, but through the power of the news media crew. Unfolding and developing stories ringing in my ears. Like high frequency waves making me dizzy. The story of Anna. The last breath she took and the last person to see her alive. The man they believe to be her lover. A quiet man, intuitive, logical and a realist. A hard working, loving and devoted family man. My husband, Oliver. Now under the authoritative custody of the Mipson county sheriff department, as a prime suspect for the ****** of Miss Anna B Delaney.

Details of the scene have not yet been released so it is still unclear and most inconceivable to imagine what happened to Anna.

Nobody knows you
Nobody knows us
Because there was never an us at daylight
We were no more than that night
When I told you everything
Things I never knew I hadn’t said
Secrets I didn’t realize I’d been hiding
And you fed me your heart
Poured out your history to relate to mine
And we became one book with our story
Our words seeped into each others skin
And faded into the wooden planks on the walls
And beams on the ceiling
Sheltering that moment, protecting the purity
Something about you compelled me to talk
Something inside of me forced me to listen
5am came and you were gone
6:30 past and I was gone
We’re out here in this big world alone
But I know you’re not alone because part of you is with me
And I’m not alone because part of me is forever with you

Lost.
His golden brown eyes drew me in like a distant light I wanted so badly to touch.

His lips, so mysterious and with the slightest smile, made me smile back and feel like I needed to hide my blushing cheeks.

His hands, as they moved, where they wanted made my head spin in circles and all I could do was close my eyes.

All of these would soon fade away and all I could feel when it was all said and done was pain. Hurt that it couldn't last forever and that I wasn't enough for you. Used because you eventually wanted that with someone other than me. Broken because our daughter was created with so much love and you turned out to be so evil. Pain because that was the only emotion left.

I want to go there with you

You know, that place you whispered to me

Whilst I was deep asleep in your arms

Where the air is cool and the river awaits for our feet

With wild horses and overgrown fields of dandelions and bluebonnets

Take me there

And keep me there, like a gem you wear night and day

Passed down from unknown times

But precious to you

A keepsake worth more than all the coins that have ever passed through your fingertips

With a love so sweet you refuse to take the last bite, for then it will be no more

Take me there and I will always stay

Some people are just made for you
You know it the second you enter a room they're in
You feel it before you even see them
You love them with every cell that makes your heart beat
They touch you and you crumble
They move and you follow
They breath and you can feel their inhale through your lungs
You become two halves of one person.

Knock, knock;
Hollow and empty
You can come back another day if you want
But you'll still find nothing.

You say "I love you"
Because that's what my necklace says
And you just read it to me.

You say "I love you"
When you're drunk with your arms around me
And we wander the streets at night.

You say "I love you"
With laughter in your voice
When I make you laugh until it hurts.

You say "I love you"
When you confess your secrets to me
And I am here to listen and help you through what you're feeling.

Why do you do that to me?

Something about this liquor
Drowns you out
Good bye--

Something about this liquor
Makes me turn on NWA
I feel more at home--

Something about this liquor
Puts a genuine smile on my face
And a light hearted giggle in my laugh

So don't bother me
I need a break.
Away from everything else.
I've missed the old me
And this is the only place where she and I can come to reconnect.

Let your kisses smell like Daisy's
And your skin be soft as velvet
May your wishes sparkle your days
And your nights be forever enchanted.

I called for an elevator today
I walked in and didn't press a floor
I wished it would take me to a place far away from here
As it gently shut its doors.
I closed my eyes as it lifted me
Gliding past hallways and empty suites
Thinking of the me and you I hoped for us
The me and you we used to be.

I hate you so much because I want you so bad
It's always a loosing battle trying to erase you from my head
You cause havoc that wrecks me, your finger tips shake my core
A passion so deep you have me begging for more
All I want is to get rid of you,
But you seep through every pore
Slowly drip drop to my brain
It's only when I imagine you with me that I feel somewhat sane
You're just a demon that I live with now
I hear your voice and feel your lips
Asleep or awake, I can't see past you
You cloud my eyes like an eclipse
I don't know what you did to me all those years ago
I'm struggling to move past you because you block my every road
Without you I'm unfinished and deprived
I'm in a manic-like condition
Having had a taste of you, I can say with confidence
You are the worst addiction.

My happiest moments with you
Are when we're together in my dreams
Please let me go so I may be with you there
Here as I face you, you can't stand me.
The man I once fell for held me with passion
To this day he's gentle with his touch
I wake up to you and encounter a wreckage,
A combination of hatred and lust.

She is harsh
And the world feels her wrath
When she speaks, she speaks at you
Never a conversation you want to have

Her opinions are one sided,
Her directness is bitter
Many cower underneath her fury
While I desire to stand beside her

I desire to join in force with her
Because of her willingness to fight
And although she may seem overbearing at times
She always does what she believes is right

Which is a quality I, myself possess
In which I have been criticized for having before
But she and I, we have this same trait
That gives us purpose in what we're working for

You can tell me that she's the toughest boss
And that I should stay far and clear away
Tell me stories about how she's sent you home
In tears at the end of your work day...

While you may prefer a more compassionate boss
Id rather work under someone who pushes me
Someone who gives me more than I can handle
Which will challenge my limits and strengthen my ability.

We were and will always be soul mates and yet,
I need to stay as far away from you as possible.

I'm fighting to stay a decent girl
And you're just fighting to keep me,
I've torn myself to pieces up and down this house,
Trying to remember who I used to be.
Your holding on so tightly,
To a dream that I once wanted,
A dream that left me long ago,
That now just leaves me haunted.
You and me, in love forever
Surrounded by life so simple,
This dream that I held so dearly
Turned out to be so fickle.
You were reckless with my heart
And that dream quickly shattered,
I think just to keep me sane
I pretended it didn't matter...
That girl who felt deep love is gone
But I want her back so desperately,
Do you think that if I call her
She will come back to help me?
When she left she took that dream
And what was left over of my love,
She left me as an empty shell
Only to remember who I was.
She left us here together
Maybe she thought I would just follow..
Every day I sit here and pray
That she may come back to me tomorrow

You're a terrible person
You're a corrupt girl
You use men for the fun or the advantage
You terrorized my world
You left me hanging
You left me heartbroken
You were an angel once,
What happened?

I'm in a war my love, I intent to return to you soon
Trapped between terrified of commitment and not wanting to leave you
Afraid of the future and hesitant to make a serious move
Will you wait for me lover or drift away to a new

See, I can't help but feel like with you I would remain
Leaving my solo life behind and taking your name
Forever tangled in love until the end of our days
Although I do want this, I feel slightly strange

Sometimes I feel too wild for you and I'm scared I may wander
Afraid to hurt you badly and loose sight of each other
Or look back in 20 years and can't help but wonder
Was there something else in life I was meant to uncover

This battle has me occupied but you remain in my mind
You have given me your heart in exchange for mine
I still love you immensely, all these fears aside
I promise to have a resolution soon love, I just need some time.

This scar on my shoulder reminds me that you were real
Those texts in my old flip phone show me you were here
I hear your laugh in my head
And see your eyes when I look in the mirror
I can still feel your body heat
Like you never left

I want to be one with you.
Like a flower rising each day
Extending its leafy arms to the universe
Chin aimed high, hair flowing with the breeze,
And when you pick me I wish to remain in your hands until you take your last breath.
Pick me and I will thrive within your palms
I will not shrivel like the rest.
My roots will find a way into your heart
And there I will find peace.
I will find goodness and wholesomeness,
And you should see me every day and smile.
I will bring you hope.
I will bring you happiness.
I can imagine that this is what it would feel like to be one with you.

and baby, I'm wild.

I'm a double handful.

But I promise I'm worth it.

I want the kind of love from you that makes me question every thing I thought I knew about love. The kind that makes you realize that you've never felt something so real and pure.

I want to know you better than anyone has ever known you. I want to know what makes you cry and what your first thought is when you wake up. Before you even open your eyes. I want you to wake me up at 3am just to tell me an idea you have.

I want to hear about your worst day and what would make a perfect one. I want to know what you see when you look in the mirror and if you've ever felt guilt that made you question yourself.

I want to relive your happiest moments with you. I want to understand your sadness and listen to your voice change as you relive your past experiences.

I want you to feel vulnerable with me and be okay with it. Because I want you to trust me enough with your deepest thoughts and feelings. Take me somewhere emotionally that you've never taken another woman.

And in return, I will give you the same. I believe in that moment we will have found something untouchable. Unimaginable. And unexplainable.

He said "I love you"
I said you don't love me
He looked at me like I was crazy
I told him to show me
He put his hands on me
I said "exactly".

He said "I love you"
I said you don't know me
He smiled and said you've told me
I asked him what I was thinking
He put his hands on me
I said "exactly".

Those hands that would wrap around my neck and make me think I could break in half
The same hands that would ball up and knock me to the ground
The same hands that you would apologize with late at night in our bed
Those beautiful hands that I fell in love with on our first date because they held me like I had never felt before
The same hands that absorbed so many of my salty tears
Those creative hands that drew me such amazing images that inspired my many writings
Those lying hands that would dishonestly touch another woman and never leave a trace
Your hands, they ripped this fragile heart of mine into pieces and you told them to do it all

I sent you a message today
It reached an infinite abyss
Or maybe someone else
Or possibly no place at all

But those words were meant for you
And even though you're gone I can't accept the truth;
That you'll never respond.