You had kissed so lovingly
It almost made me choke
Not the kiss but when you told me
It was just a joke

I stabbed you in anger
Bottle glass through your heart
The scars on my hands are irony
For now we'll never be apart

Reaching for tomorrow
Is like trying to catch thunder
Time waits for no one
Until they're six feet under

I keep myself good company
I learnt this long ago
When someone tries to love me
I must just tell them no

You spit and curse and cry at me
You yell insults that stick fast
You wonder why we ever met
Across the looking glass

Sometimes I want to scream into the night
Into the stars that will never speak back
But sometimes I write letters to the future
In silent nights

No rest for the weary
No sleep for the weak
Only the rich may rest
On white linen sheets

In the mood for love
But the current to fight
And I no longer hate the fire

In the mood for love
But I love solace
And the untouchable feeling

In the mood for love
But my disillusion
Keeps me company

In the mood for love
But I'm not one for
Showing you my secrets

In the mood for love
But years of closed doors
Make fresh ways hard to keep

In the mood for love
But I guess old habits die hard
And this is long overdue

It's easy for me
To get caught up in the what ifs
To question everything I did
I can't touch the universe
Without leaving ripples
There are rivers to places
But maybe streams if I had just
I have never done anything
Consequenceless
What have I given up?

I'm high on the anonymity
Twisting and shifting outside my sight
But it's fine
Because I'm drifting
Past lighted windows
And lamped streets
A million people
Have all done this before
I will not be the first
And I will not be the last
How many people
Will I only ever see once?

Unbeknownst to myself
Performing unintended perfections
And yet yearning for expression
Was far too conceivable

Think too much
And I'm drowning
In consequences

I
Like all things
Will fall apart

You know how it started
Looking down lockers
And suddenly you're infatuated
For the first time

Heart pounding
Sweat heavy on your brow
Just a few words

Then one day
You got over it
Shame there's no word
For falling out of love

Looking in the mirror
I saw myself
The only one

It struck me sadly
How little
My friends know me at all

The sky's dark blue
Is the only thing
I love

Across the universe
Light comes to my eyes
From a place I'll never be

The things I can see in the sky
I will never get over
How I love.

Love is like a dance
With a thousand steps
But no music
And no idea what you're doing
Only the rap of the conductor's baton
Don't mess up
Why am I doing this again?

I never loved anyone
Not those I was supposed to
Nor those I thought I did

I remeber when I was young
When I would hit my knee
And cry a little bit because it hurt

I'm older now
And I still hit my knee
But I don't cry anymore

I don't cry at all

Tears hear thoughts
Better than a broken sky
Or a whispered kiss

Great hearts talk strong
But a sad perfection
And a night's small
Told me
That it's time to go

I'm still sleeping
Time creeping up on me
Hey there
Push the hair up from your face

Morning's a graceful enemy
But I'm mourning the night

If there is a God
I'll live how I want
Some last hour confession
Won't change who I am

No one got anywhere
By doing things half way

If you could see me
As I see myself

What would you say
When confronted
With all my little secrets

If you could
Then there's nothing
Left to say

Icarus flew up
Too close to the sun
And fell like Lucifer
Still a boy though

But if I flew
Away in the night
Would I still burn
Like you?

Keeping a secret is hard
Until it's not.

Until what seemed so uninvited
Becomes a universal truth.

When did it become normal
To hide?

The human condition
A set of traits
To try and somehow explain
Our relentless ambition

We're all stuck
With the same condition
The same thing
That would give us our mission

Let's leave our planet in a tin can

Don't blame me
If you don't want
To die laughing

Will you love me?
Though I have no hope
Of being perfect

We care so much about sunsets
Just before something leaves us
We realise what we were missing

Let me go softly
Don't make it hurt
I'll leave you now

A last love letter
To tell you
Things I wish I'd said
While you were around

Good thing then
That this is the way it was meant to be

I never thought
Words on a page
Would make me cry

Shut up.

No.

In the small hours
I walk
And feel the sleepless city sleep
And empty streets

The sky above
Is still
Despite the stars

If the sun never rose
I think that right now
I'd be happy

****
Last night I told her
I wanted strawbeeries

Everyone wants to say
Something just, important
Even with time
That will keep
Unlike the strawberries
From friday market

Puppies, Grandmothers and Young Lovers
I guess strong emotions
Make us fall
Back to old words

Naysayers for cliches
They say make
Bright days
A pain to hear

I'll let you decide
For yourself

I hate them
Yet they are mine
My secrets

I think about it often
The soft edge of a knife
Not because I am sad
But because I know
I will be

It's selfish
And yet I could
Should I do the things
No wants to do

The one who looks
Back from the mirror
They know
What will I want to do?

Take my heart
Rip it out
I don't care
Anymore but
I'll make myself for you
And I'm laughing now

One night in a town
A main road goes empty
Apart from a few
And I stand there

On the edge of the road
The river band of concrete
Worn down and smooth
By people with places to be

The 3am lights
The orange yellow blankets
Down on the ground
All is still

And still
And still
And still

It's all in the brain
Pain and whatever
It's just your brain
Telling

Who? You
That seems stupid
But who am I
If not my brain

Don't tell me
I'm a walking paradox
Brain?

I think of the things that would be better unsaid
I thought them though
They are thoughts
They live in my mind till I decide
It's time to say
Time longs along the clock
In your head there's nothing special
Wasting away
Just another day to be me
Because only I could think of the things
That could have been said if things were different
I guess if it's gone
I should move on but
I would not have thought that thought
Thoughtlessly
I don't want to die of thirst
Water slipping through your fingers
Don't worry though
Let me tell you what I want to say

Of sleepless summer nights
And lazy days at noon
The sun stays longer
Before rousing the moon
From a frozen sleep
When midnight  wanes
Shortly after sunset
But the light outside still
From the sleepless city
Dawn burning till come again
No real darkness to call to sleep
No comfort cold to steal up
On limber haunches
To call the hour
And ***** the lights out
Instead of this
A warmth unfamiliar
That calls for a coverless sleep
And the stillness that holds
For the hazy summer