maybe mosquito bites are just love bites
and maybe the pain is just all in your head

There is pain branded into my heart
It hasn't gone away
I can look the other way and pretend it's okay
But sometimes I cannot keep it at bay
I am in pain
And there's no poetic way to say
sometimes it hurts to be alive
No metaphor can describe exactly how it feels
You can try
But it won't work, it won't heal what you feel inside
But I'm alright
I've been friends with my demons since day one
and do you think that's going to change? No.
Because I don't leave my friends the way you do.
I'm sorry, but that's the truth.
And I'm not ready to depart with them yet.
They're the only ones that have stayed in the end

you break break break me
and then you pretend you did nothing
you hurt hurt hurt me
and then pretend that i did something wrong
okay i'm bleeding
can't you see
you've done your damage
now please let me be

i remember talking to God about you
and asking Him why he was bringing you so close to me again
after you broke up with me months before
and i thought He had answered me
because He brought you back to me
but for only one week
we were together a total of 8 days
and then you left
He taught me how to let things go
i fought and fought and fought for you to be in my life
but we were never meant to be
i made everyone else hate me
just so you would love me
how stupid was i?
i gave all of myself to you
every **** part of me
just because you said you wanted to marry me
and i convinced myself you were the one
i never saw myself without you
but look at me now
look at me
i've moved on

You told me today that I better not **** myself
Because you'd come to wherever I am and stop me
I don't want to die
I just don't want to be alive
That doesn't make sense
to no one who has ever felt this
I used to hurt myself
Millions of scars up and down my arms
I'm glad you never had to see that
That's all gone and in the past
So you don't have to worry about that
I don't want to do that to myself anymore
I won't hurt myself
I won't **** myself
Don't worry
I don't want to die
I just don't want to be alive
And what I mean by that is I don't want to be 6 feet under
I don't want to take my last breath
I don't want to give up any hope of a good future
I just don't want to be alive
I don't want to have to socialize
or pretend I'm alright
I'm in pain
And I don't want to hide
I don't want to be alive
Don't worry, this only happens sometimes
I'm fine

I want to write a special poem just for you.
To tell you how you make me feel.
But I don't think I could find the right words to describe exactly what is going on in my heart.

I could say you make my heart skip a beat, but no, that's not the truth
You make my heart stop and you revive it over and over again
I could say I see stars when I look into your eyes, but no, that's not the truth
I see whole galaxies and I know there's so many worlds inside you wanting to break free
I could say that you give me butterflies, but no, that's not the truth
There's not just a few, there's a whole lepidopterarium full
I could say you're as beautiful as a rose, but no, that's not the truth
Your beauty is out-of-this-world, unfathomable, no words are good enough to describe it
I could tell you you're worth more than gold, but no, that's not the truth
Your worth surpasses all earthly things
I could go on and on telling you these things that make my heart stop and my stomach fill with butterflies
But even this poem isn't good enough to show you exactly how I feel

Darling, I've never seen someone as beautiful as you.

many teardrops fall
am i the only one you love?
you don't talk to me that way
my chest burns with pain

here's the thing about poetry
it doesn't need to make sense
just keep writing

"You get to exhale now.
You get to be more you than you have been in a very long time."

if you want to know me
if you want to be mine
then just tell me
just tell me
if you want to take it slow
then say those words to me
and that will be fine
but don't leave me here wondering if you feel the same
don't leave me wondering if you will take away my pain
if you don't want to know me
then please just say it
because i get my hopes up too often
and i break too easily
i fall for people who i think are lovely
and then they leave me
so please
if you don't want me
just say it

hello
how are you?
i'm a little tired
and it doesn't hurt
too much anymore
that's good
that's really good
yeah
the pain has subsided
but only a little
that's good
that's really good
is that all
you're going to say?
yeah
yeah it is
only because
it is good
but i'm still in pain
yeah but it's better
right?
not too much
but still better?
yeah
it's better
that's good
that's really good
yeah
it is

(if only it were the truth)

I know it hurts
It hurts
It hurts
But there's still hope left
I know you can't see it
But it's there
It's there
It's there
Just keep breathing, love.
I know your lungs hurt from all this extra work
But they're still working
Keep breathing
Keep breathing
I know you're in so much pain
I know you don't want to see another day
But the sun is waiting to see you each morning
And someone really cares about you
Even if it doesn't feel like it
They care
They care
They care
I know you just want to sleep
And stay there as long as possible
But you still have to get up
That's just the way it is

please tell me you'll protect me from the monsters inside my head

You called me your girlfriend and held my hand
You lifted up my spirit and healed a broken piece of me
Then you say we're not together
I knew it all just happened so easily
Why would someone like you want me?
Trust me, I'm fine.
Everyone leaves
Why did I think you could be different?
Maybe I'm being dramatic
But my heart breaks so easily
like glass
And that's why I don't open up so easily
I honestly don't feel like being shattered again
I just put all my pieces back together
Just a few days ago
I was put back together again
and you know what?
I did it.
Me
No one else was around to help
And then you showed up
I was hoping that I wouldn't have to do it alone anymore
I know we just met
But I get my hopes up so easily
And I thought you'd be the one to save me
Why do you think I approached you?
I don't usually do that kind of thing
But it's fine.
I don't mind.
I just have to get used to being hurt again
by everyone in my life
I should just give up on love
Love *****
And I just have to pretend like I'm okay, right?
I've been told that my fake smiles look so real
I can lie
And pretend I'm fine
Because that's what I'm used to
I don't let anyone see me
The real me
Because they have the ability to hurt me
And almost everyone I let know me had the audacity
to use that against me
I destroy myself when I'm hurt
I can't eat
I can't sleep
I can't freaking breathe
And I'm a crybaby
I cry about everything
Everything I feel goes straight to my heart
and shatters it
And why would you be interested in that?
Exactly.
I'll just have to change my heart into shatter-proof glass
So just lie and say you're alright
Lie and say you're alright
Lie and say you're alright
Lie and -
I'm alright!

Looking back
You were the first person I actually left
When I said I was going to leave you
And that's probably because we weren't that close
Now it's like we never talked

i can almost feel you holding me and it leaves me aching when i realize you're not here with me.

everytime i look at you, more flowers grow from my heart and the sun shines a little brighter

darling, you are so special and you mean so much to me. so much, i have written 100 little love notes to you. and still, i'll write more just to show you how special you are.

if i kissed you, i don't think i'd be able to stop.

and when you look at me, i swear i can't breathe.

i haven't felt so full in so long. darling, you complete me.

a soulmate isn’t someone who completes you. a soulmate is someone who inspires you to complete yourself. and that's what you did. you inspired me to complete myself. and now i am whole.

and love is when someone who knows your scars, stays to kiss them. no one has ever kissed my scars, but i know you will everyday. because that's the way you love me. and that means so much to me.

i think we have the kind of love others dream about.

you are my therapy.

what am i most thankful for? you. definitely you. you lit up my life and made me the happiest person in the universe. i'm the luckiest girl in the world. thank you for existing.

i saw your name today. and when i thought of you, the fire in my chest grew and i could feel the warmth spreading throughout my body. i am so in love with you.

if i had only one wish, i would wish to be with you forever

i cannot tell you exactly what happened. all i know is, in the past few days, i fell deeper in love with you and i know for sure i am staying there forever. i can't ever love anyone else again. all i know is, i just want to be as close as i can to you, and i will never let go.

i don't feel like i belong anywhere, except in your arms.

i love you so much baby. i will never let go. ever. we will be together forever and we'll be so happy. i promise.

i know the distance ***** but just remember that we lay under the same stars. place your hand over your heart and remember i'm right there.

i swear i can see forever in your eyes.

"i'm jealous of the rain that falls upon your skin. it's closer than my hands have been."