at least i have you when my life is ****
at least i have your love
at least you exist
because if you didn't
if you weren't in my life
there would probably be
blooding spilling out of my wrists
or a rope around my neck
or pills down my throat
right this very moment

i can almost feel your touch
your warmth spreading throughout my body
but i'm laying here all alone
so cold and lonely
i wish magic were real
so i could teleport you here
just so we could hold each other
and forget about the world
and i hope this is real
because i'm slowly falling in love
and maybe you don't feel the same
but i will wait forever just to be with you
i'll sit here until the world ends
and i hope you're the last thing i see
right before i go

mind is screaming
tears are falling
hands are shaking
wrists are bleeding
heart is aching
lungs aren't working
everything hurting
leave me alone!

I'm so used to being left behind
I've never had a relationship that lasted a long time
I've always been thrown away back into the endless sea of people
Wondering who they're going to end up with
And I've found you
You're my happy ending
But forgive me for being skeptical about you loving me
It's hard to give you all of me
All of my trust
When it's just been broken and taken advantage of
And I know you're different
You won't ever hurt me
But there's still that fear buried deep inside me
I was never one to take risks
But maybe I should start
If I never learn how to fly
I'll never be with the one I love
So I'm spreading my wings
And taking that jump off the edge
I'll do anything to be with you
And I want to make this work
So today I'm learning to fly
And I will forget the past pain and hurt

i exorcized you from my thoughts
from my heart
you are no longer possessing me
i love him now
i let all the dead things go
turned some into newer and better things
deleted the words i wrote about you
rewrote some and dedicated them to him
i'm not sorry i replaced you
you've done it to me on many occasions
i hope you know you are now a ghost
lingering in my memory no more
all the words you said, forgotten
all those lies you told, learned from them
all those places you touched, i'm loving again
all the broken pieces of my heart, he healed them
forget you
you did nothing good for me
you made me afraid
and he taught me that no matter how ****** a person is
i am still worthy of love
he is the complete opposite of you
a man, not a boy like you
and i know you'll never find someone who will love you as i did
you broke me
my whole being
i love with all of me
and now i get to watch you drown beneath the waves
the end
you'll see what you lost
i can tell you miss me
why else would you ditch your girlfriend to walk with me?
i won't let you back in
i hope you realize you lost me for good this time
and i hope it hurts as much as it did for me
but it won't
because you're heartless
you won't feel a thing
and i really thought i could change you into something more
something better
a good person
but another thing i learned is people don't change
no matter how much you want them to
i don't care about you anymore
all i want now is for you to permanently leave my life
good riddance

i know i'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight
and that's not a fun feeling to have