27 | 31 Poems for August 2016

Today I am finally breaking free and slowly stripping away all the things that seem to burden me.
In due time I’ll be fine and I’ll eventually find what makes me laugh and smile.
I’m not where I want to be but give me time, I misplaced my favourite watch.
I need more 808s and less heartbreaks – music that will take the pain away.
I need something that’ll make me forget about my problems just for today.
Love isn’t always magic sometimes it loses its energy and remains static.
But I want to feel it anyway, whether it quickly overwhelms me or slowly begins to fade away.
I am finally breaking free and slowly stripping away all the things that seem to burden me.
I left my heart far away from the margin on a page that was carelessly ripped from my book of thoughts.
My hands are freezing and my heart is bleeding, this whole thing hurts but I try my best not to let my frustrations show.
Before my whole world began to fall apart I knew that I was in too deep like Omar Epps.
All I was trying to do was love you better but I never thought that you’d ever pack your bags and leave.
I am slowly falling apart and all I can think about is gathering the pieces of my broken heart together.
Today I am breaking free and stripping away all the things that burden me.

29 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Get me a bottle of ***** and a glass of Hennessy.
Give me love and I will provide unforgettable memories.
I wouldn’t readily admit this, but you’re my love and you’re my light.
God always hears our prayers so I know that we are going to be alright.
You will never lose me to the wind no matter how hard it decides to blow.
I had given up on love and happiness before you walked into my lonely life.
From a distant stranger to an unforgettable muse all the way through to sharing several glasses of wine with you.
I’m banking on you to not withdraw from the love we have both invested in.
When people ask, let them know you found love in the city where jacaranda trees light up the streets with their purple blooms.
I want to dive into the ocean of your love until I’m soaking wet with happiness.
Until I am drowning in the depths of your love with no need of being rescued.
Love and liberty is all I need from you until our grey skies go back to being blue.
But I could never spend the rest of my life without someone as amazing as you.

25 | 31 Poems for August

I will continue writing your name onto the sky until the stars embody your beauty.
I want to be the half that makes you whole.
I want to be the poem written on the pages of your soul.
I am addicted to the ink that flows inside your veins.
Drench your heart in ink then pour yourself on a page and become my poem.
A poem that describes your heart’s complexities and desires.
A poem that patiently awaits to be recited.
A poem that exists inside the poet.
A poem that eventually becomes the poet.
I hope my presence will awaken every single poem that gently lays inside you.
What use is my poetry when I cannot recite it to you?
What good is my love when I cannot share it with you?
You are the one song I keep listening to every single day and night.
You are the poem I never knew how to write.
Your love is the story that I have always wanted to tell the world.
I have captured your smile in the lines of this poem.
I want you to be the poem that keeps writing itself on the pages of my soul.
I want you to be the poem that makes me whole.
Plant roses in my heart and promise me you’ll be there when they blossom.
I will continue writing your name onto the sky until the stars embody your beauty.
I will continue writing about you.

19 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I can never make you love me no matter what I say or do.
Disappointments seem to be the foundation of my progress.
I’m gradually beginning to realise that success is a slow process.
I dislike how you tend to forget about me during some nights when you’re drinking wine.
I gave you honesty and honestly speaking, going back-and-forth with you is exhausting me.
Over the years, our friendship has been tainted by rumours that everyone knows except for us.
There may have been some chemistry between us that we both chose to blatantly ignore.
I wrote many of my poems in Braille for the kind of love I was desperately longing to feel from you.
I’m still falling for you, and my words are revealing so that’s why you’ll know that this poem is about you.
I find it hard walking away from a woman whose arms I have always wanted to run into.
What should I do now with the love that I have always wanted to give to you?
All I’m asking for is you, and I can’t bear the thought of someone else being next to you.
I’m jealous and I know that I will probably be the last one to ever admit it.
I’m a lover without a lover but never loveless, so what am I supposed to do?

4 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I had you constantly coming down a few minutes after breaking down.
In the presence of clumsy hands, fragile hearts break like porcelain does.
It is summer time somewhere but it is currently autumn right here in Pretoria.
Sometimes I wish that you’d never ask about my love life because I could never love or be loved right.
Love is the highest vibration and that’s why I always feel tremors every time I step out of my comfort zone.
You remind me of the month of August, you always remind me of the calmness of the colour blue.
Like a painter admiring the presence of his exquisite muse, I can’t stop looking at every colour of you.
Love is the highest vibration and that’s why I always feel tremors every time I step out of my comfort zone.
We cannot survive in the world with all these secrets that we have if all that we have is a lie.
Love is the result of all the vibrations of tremors that shook a long time ago.

24 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Nothing lasts forever, and that we both knew.
Now we’ve become strangers with memories.
We were bound together by our mutual gravity.
But nothing lasts forever, even the stars die eventually.
It’s hard to proceed and progress with the burden of our stress.
Please sit beside me in silence, I just need to know that you’re here.
I’ve been dreaming with my eyes open ever since the day I met you.
It was your presence that held me together as my world fell apart.
I wonder how long I’ll keep walking around with this broken heart.
Our love became a poem that we patiently wrote without words.
Our peers have fallen in love with the habit of not falling in love.
I miss the days when we used to speak French without saying a word.
I keep doing this thing wrong and putting myself in places that I don’t belong.
Another night with ***** in my cup accompanied by the lyrics of a Drake song.
So, cry if you need to because it’s hard to proceed and progress with so much heartbreak and stress.
Touch if you need to and I’ll stay to hold you because you need to know I’m still here.
Talk if you need to because the silence between us is destroying the bond that we share.

8 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

Love, will you still be able to love me unconditionally tomorrow?
I hope you’ll still love me when my heart has been burdened by sorrow.
I have love in my heart, milk in my cereal and honey in my cup of Rooibos tea.
But my friends know I prefer a strong cup of coffee that’s as warm as the love and happiness that I provide.
How do I keep it all together when everyone around me is falling apart because of an overflow of pride?
I have constantly fallen in love with my solitude but loneliness has taken over every single part of me.
How do I keep it all together when everything around me is falling apart?
A wise woman once told me that the only thing that matters is the love in my mind and the logic in my heart.

1 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I’m embracing the flaws that I have been blessed with.
Thoughts scatter like rain when your head lives in the clouds.
It’s amazing how people always find these hands of mine incredible.
They admire how these hands constantly transform simple words into beautiful poetry.
What more can I tell you?
I’m from the city where jacaranda trees light up the streets with their purple blooms.
I’m a lover without a lover, but never loveless plus I write poems on the pages of people’s hearts.
I met a girl with a soul like a library and every time I see her, she keeps getting thicker than the plot does.
I guess that it’s no mystery why I am obsessed with reading, I always have a book in my hand no matter the season.
For days on end, I’ve been yearning for my love to be intensified by the pulchritude of someone’s presence.
When you look at me, what do you see in my place?
I still yearn for soulful conversations filled with happiness, love and laughter.
The kind of conversations that will be accompanied with red wine and music by Emeli Sandé, Sade or Erykah Badu.
What more do you want to know?
I’ve fallen in love with my own solitude, but lately loneliness has gradually begun to creep in like a thief in the night.
Love is blind and that I already know, but I never want to write these words without a muse.
Love is not a mystery; it’s every beautiful thing that I ever wanted it to be.

20 | 31 Poems for August 2017

You are what I never thought you were and became what I never thought you’d be.
You’ve cheated on every test that love gave you but somehow, I forgave you.
I stopped trying to mend a broken person the day I realised that I was one.
My hands smell like petroleum from all the bridges that I’ve been burning.
I have humbly grown from every word and poem I wrote back when you and I hardly spoke.
This love is a battlefield and it was foolish of me to be losing limbs for someone who wouldn’t go to war for me.
Getting played like a grand piano did not guarantee me the chance of listening to symphonies.
I gave you exclusive views to breathtaking galaxies, but somehow you still needed more space.
If writing about you ever drives me crazy then make sure that my straitjacket comes in blue.
I’ve been experiencing Sunday blues and I haven’t seen much of you, so tell me now, where are you?

19 | 31 Poems for August 2016

These ideas of nightmares I usually have when the night stares.
I know that I unintentionally pushed you away several times that day.
But listen to me, regardless of what happened I still need you to stay.
I’m trying to make more memories but my Kodak has run out of film.
Maybe I should buy a Canon and digitally capture these moments for forever.
“You’ve got hyperhidrosis but don’t sweat the small stuff” is something I imagine you to say.
The future is uncertain and things inevitably change but I’d love for you to stay.
I could try to act all tough and conceal my fears but I’m as scared as you are.
Back when this connection was ignited, we never thought that we would end up this far.

5 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

She’s wrapped up in white sheets and peaceful dreams.
She gets head on most mornings before she gets out of bed.
There’s love in her heart, milk in her cereal and honey in her tea.
I want to hold her in my arms until she forgets what pain feels like.
I want to be in her heart, on her mind, body and on her brown skin.
Thick thighs, beautiful smile and brown eyes – she is my favourite sin.
A wise lady once told me that heaven is found between a woman’s thighs.
I want to hold her in my arms until she remembers what happiness feels like.
Love may slip from her lips and drip down her chin but I never want our beautiful melody to become staccato.
She has made me question if all the women I have been with before were worthy of my love, time and effort.
She’s a representation of all the beautiful music Sade has created and she’s more than the sweetest taboo to me.
On most days she makes me forget about being the king of sorrow when I eventually stop crying everyone’s tears.
The traces of her lips on my skin reach deep inside my soul and transform an abandoned house into a loving home.

Before I left you alone, I placed an infinity of kisses on your collarbone.
You showed me what it felt like to be in a relationship and still feel lonely.
You showed me what it felt like to be in a room full of people bursting out in laughter and still feel alone.
The problem now is that I can’t stop reminiscing on what could’ve been.
It’s clear that I have never ever met someone like you.
It has been a while but I still feel the same way about you.
Maybe I need to let you know, maybe I need to let you go.
I still want to bury my lips in the curves of your neck.
You showed me what it felt like to be in a relationship and still feel lonely.
Now I’m running into the arms of temporary lovers asking for them to hold me.
If you were someone else I’d be tempted to say that the best part of was always you.
But unfortunately it’s not, the love I have for myself is all that I’ve got.
It's all I really need and it’s reiterated by the way my ink starts to bleed.
You found a home inside my heart and no matter what I do, I can never manage to get you to move out.
But if you’re staying a while longer just know that your rent’s due.
You can’t keep living here because a new tenant will be moving in soon.

9 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

Find me somewhere between old and cliché Tumblr poems and filtered Instagram pictures.
It was just yesterday when we were worlds apart when your ex-boyfriend broke your loving heart.
You eventually began smoking again and drank wine and ***** like there was a message in the bottle.
But I can’t judge you for all the things that you did because I was right there by your side comforting you.
I took an Uber from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to find peace of mind and get some closure from you.
All this time I have been hoarding the memories we made like there is a black hole I’m trying to fill.
I wonder if I’ll ever be good enough in the eyes of the people who never appreciated my love.
Within your circle of friends someone knew that you were falling in love with someone new.
But you kept me waiting all this time just so you could let me down like gravity.
I should have realised this a long time ago that pain hurts more when you choose to ignore it.
If only it was so easy to let you go then I would’ve done that a long time ago.
I wanted you to fill my emptiness with requited love but I realised that you were a void too.

12 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I would’ve never been included in any of your pictures – you’d always find a way to crop me out.
I’ve had enough of this digital love, a love that’s constantly controlled by social media standards and faulty algorithms.
We made memories that not even Facebook can remember and captured moments that can’t be found on Instagram.
I would go back to being yours in a heartbeat just to hear the sound of my heart beat.
Just to hear my heart beating to the rhythms that are foreign to my existence.
Everyone knows that I’m a lover without a lover but never loveless.
I’m a heartbroken lover that’s wondering how to fix my heart’s mess.
I want to go back to the day when we first fell in love with one another.
I pray that there’s a chance that we’ll both manage to work it out someday.
I pray that all my doubts, fears and insecurities don’t ever prey on me.
As of late, our conversations are starting to feel a lot more like interviews.
Dive into the depths of my heart and mind and get a glimpse of my inner views.

10 | 31 Poems for August

What’s a painter left to do when his muse is missing?
The paint doesn’t stick to the canvas like it’s supposed to.
Today he was cut deep by all the harsh words she said.
He never understood all the ludicrous games she played.
So far gone, she left with the forest that’s why he’s barely breathing.
He wanted to see her happy but couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving.
It didn’t matter how he felt, she was bound to leave anyway.
It didn’t matter what he did, she was bound to leave on any day.
What’s a painter left to do when his muse is missing?
The paint doesn’t stick to the canvas like it usually does.
Maybe they were never meant to say goodbye.
Maybe if she didn’t leave, they’d still give love another try.
He never knew how toxic she was until he got to breathe in fresh air.
He never thought such heartbreak was something that could occur to him.
The grass is greener on his side but today it needed a trim.
The world is his canvas and she will always be his muse.

Lately it seems like every good thing that happens to me eventually finds a way to go wrong.
We’re breaking apart but I’m still holding on, trying my best to stay strong.
I’m trying to find my way back to you but I don’t even know where to start.
I’ve been hopelessly walking around with a broken heart.
I cannot love myself and still manage to love you too.
This chemistry is beautiful but it’s detrimental too.
Yes, I know I said I love you.
But this love cannot carry us all the way through.
The months we spent together were not easy but the memories we made were worth it.
How can I explain the fact that I’m lost in a deep abyss of pain?
I wonder if we’ll ever return back to love again.

I honestly can’t tell you how I feel if I haven’t fully internalised my emotions.
My ex-girlfriend used to tell me that showing vulnerability is a weakness.
Even when we were both falling in love, she always kept her distance.
For a good reason that never sat well with me, that’s why we let each other down like gravity.
I’ve been repeatedly questioning myself for over some time now, why am I lacking longevity?
We could never rewrite our history because even if I gave her the galaxy, she would still need more space.
My Buzz Lightyear heart was willing to love her to infinity and beyond.
This is pain and poetry, this is me drowning in depression and loneliness.
This is me admitting that I am an emotional wreck, my heart is in a mess.
I’ve been concerned about caring for everyone that I lost touch with loving myself wholeheartedly.
I’ve been concerned about caring for everyone that they gradually stopped checking up on me.
So, from this point onwards, know that all these poems will no longer be written the same.
These words cannot explain the tidal waves of mystery I always find myself drowning in.
These waves of depression drown me in complete silence, so even if I cried for help you wouldn’t be able to hear me.
It’s unfortunate that even if I cried for help you wouldn’t be able to save me.

I’ve been MIA since you’ve been away; I keep walking around with my head in the clouds and getting high off paper planes.
Give me a pen and a notepad and allow me to document all the unforgettable memories we should’ve shared.
All the memories we should’ve shared never came to fruition because half the time you hardly cared.
It has been a while since I’ve heard from you, too many days since February.
Too many days since I’ve been patiently waiting so I had to give up eventually.
You had me under the impression that you actually gave a **** about me.
You gave me the impression that you cared about what we shared, but half the time you were never there.
I’ve been feeling hollow like the men T.S. Eliot wrote about, I’ve been feeling pain just to hold on.
But how long can I keep holding on when all this pain and depression is gradually affecting me?
How long can I keep holding on when all this pain becomes an indication of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
All the memories we should’ve created never came to fruition because half the time you were never there.
It has been a while since I’ve heard from you, too many days since February.
Too many days since I’ve been patiently waiting so I had to give up eventually.
How long can I keep holding on when all this depression becomes a reflection of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
I keep walking around Pretoria with my head in the clouds while getting high off paper planes with my feet on the ground.

23 | 31 Poems for August 2016

Say something, and no, I am not giving up on you.
I just want you to listen to Diddy Bop or maybe that Freedom Interlude.
I just want to know if you’re listening to the words that I’m saying.
All that I’m trying to do is live right and give you all the best parts of me.
No matter how hard I try, I can never write a poem as beautiful as you.
I do not know if that says much about me or the words that I constantly use.
Wrote these poems from the heart so every single word you read or hear is guaranteed to be a pulse.
I’ve been digging the soles of my shoes into the ground just to keep myself steady and balanced.
I hope that our love has a happy ending or keeps overflowing until infinity finds a need to end.
Being loved by you and loving you is the only thing that makes sense right now.
I’m banking on you to not withdraw from the love we have both invested in.
I still smell the sweet scent of your presence on the white cotton sheets of my memory.
You are the first love poem that I ever wanted to write back when I didn’t have the courage to.
Say something and I promise that I will follow you anywhere God leads me to.
I’m Lonnie Lynn with the poetry and maybe that explains why we have a lot in common.

31 | 31 Poems for August 2016

I know we’ve both been told not to make homes out of people.
Because once they are gone, we will become lost in the world and slowly begin to feel incomplete.
But you can run into my heart, build a place called home and make it yours.
So when people ask me about your whereabouts, I will just tell them that you are where you finally belong.
Hope you learn to love your thick thighs and those beautiful brown eyes.
You are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside and that’s why most people are drawn to your aura.
I still want to hold you like the lonely autumn trees hold the fragility of clinging leaves.
Home is where the heart is, it’s where the art is and I never want you to leave.
It won’t matter which book I’ll be reading; your love will always be the scripture that my heart believes in.
The first time there was peace inside my heart was the very first time you began loving me.
I know that I could live off your heart if mine ever stopped beating.
We’ve both been told not to make homes out of people because once they are gone, we will become lost in the world.
But you will never lose me to the wind no matter how hard it blows.
So let me love you wholeheartedly, not in words but with my actions.
I had given up on love and happiness before you walked into my life.
From a distant stranger to an unforgettable muse all the way up to sharing a beautiful view beside you.
Run into my heart, turn those four walls into a home and make it yours.
So when people ask me about your whereabouts, I will just tell them that you are where you finally belong.

Poems written to a lost love.
Poems written about a lost love.
In the beginning I always hoped that this love would have a happy ending.
Love listen, I have lost love but I haven’t lost all the words I have to write about love.

16 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Have you ever met someone whose smile could make sunflowers grow?
She has an affinity for hip-hop music and any good pair of clean sneakers.
You should hear the sound of her laughter on a warm Wednesday morning.
I swear I’m intrigued and obsessed with the little things about her that the world fails to appreciate.
Her fingers write the most alluring words on the blank pages of my heart.
Constantly reflecting beauty as she speaks, she is simply a paragon of art.
She knows that I’m a hopeless romantic who insists on remaining hopeful.
In the morning, she smells like strong black coffee, cocoa butter and good intentions.
I still want to hold her heart like the lonely autumn trees hold the fragility of clinging leaves.
I think I finally understand it now, I’m a hopeless romantic who insists on remaining hopeful.
I’d love to feel my heart beating to the rhythms that are foreign to my existence when I’m sitting next to her.

My communication skills are as bad as my handwriting is.
But my kisses are as good as my intentions, so you can go ahead and place your smile onto my lips.
Too often the pronunciation of your name is mistaken for Keanu Reeves’ character in The Matrix.
I dug my own grave right after the masquerade, but when you came along, I swear everything had changed.
I tossed the shovel to the ground and began searching for better days in a city where we both wanted to safe and sound.
We shared our first kiss over pizza, a bottle of red wine and sporadic bursts of love and laughter.
I may have lost your love, but I haven’t lost all the wonderful words I still have to write about love.
In the beginning, I always hoped that this love would have a happy ending.
But it only ended in me writing poems about how we both lost out on this wonderful love.

11 | 31 Poems for August

Beauty never goes out of style.
I wanted to become a photographer the day I first saw you smile.
Cliché, you’ve probably heard that before.
A lot of guys probably said that to you one hundred times.
But this is a hundred and one, and it’s not saturated with lies.
I come as I am, no facades or any form of disguise.
What’s the possibility of you conversing with me for a while?
I wonder what it’s like to be the words that roll off your tongue so effortlessly.  
It’s like poetry rests on the curves and edges of your lips.
Gravitate towards me as I embrace your curves and I begin to accentuate.
Fashion comes and goes but beauty can never go out of style.
I was intrigued by your presence the moment I first saw you smile.
Maybe this moment will turn into something that will always give you a reason to smile.

8 | 31 Poems for August 2016

I miss you right after my first cup of coffee in the morning or before my last glass of wine in the evening.
I miss you right before my 8 a.m. class on Monday or at 2 a.m. on a Sunday when I can’t seem to fall asleep.
When I can’t seem to fall asleep I inevitably fall on my knees and pray for a better day, pray that you stay.
I’m Lonnie Lynn with the poetry and maybe that explains why we have a lot in common.
We have a lot in common, Alicia Keys expressed similar sentiments and I am just being honest with you.
Look me in my starry eyes and tell me that everything will be okay.
I cannot give you the world but I pray that you stay for more than just another day.
When nothing else in the world makes sense, somehow you always do.
These are more than just compliments, more than just a guy trying to flex his confidence.

5 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I’ve become well-acquainted with these streets – from University Road all the way down to Park Street.
My heart skips a beat when my words touch hearts like Alex Panttiere and that’s why these hands keep writing.
You left without saying goodbye, you could’ve at least told me why.
You easily detached yourself like there were no feelings between us.
Like I didn’t love you hard enough, soft enough or even warm enough.
For weeks on end, I began hating you for leaving me the way you did.
Yet here I am writing all these words and somehow still missing you.
I’m slowly finding my way back to myself again no matter how severe the pain.
I’ll pick myself up and finally find the strength and courage to love again.
Maybe in your quiet time at exactly the right time, I can be your true valentine.
Sometimes jacarandas fall with no intention of lighting up the streets with their purple blooms again.

14 | 31 Poems for August

I know I broke your heart but I’m not the only one to blame.
We both made our fair share of mistakes.
I’ve been here many times before, trapped in a detrimental allure.
We were at war, but I shouldn’t have left and closed the door.
I felt like my heart was played like a grand piano.
Even though I walked away, I will always love you.
There’s no one that I can compare you to.
I just wanted you to love me with no comparison in mind.
I thought my kind of love was good enough.
When both of our hearts were broken, old wounds were re-opened.
I fell for you so hard but you didn’t even believe me when I said that I love you.
I wouldn’t be able to escape you even if the world showed me how.
It has been a while and maybe I still need you now.
I hope you realise that I never meant to hurt you.
Even if the world showed me how, I wouldn’t be able to escape you.
I never meant to break your heart, there was no solid reason for us to be apart.
If I asked for you back, would you still listen to me?
Maybe I didn’t realise that love lived here until I saw it leaving.
You know you broke my heart but you’re not the only one to blame.
We both made our fair share of mistakes.
You’ve been here many times before, trapped in a detrimental allure.
We were at war, but you shouldn’t have left and closed the door.
You shouldn’t have left at all.

23 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I thought that I’d find closure after writing poetry about you.
But every time I finish writing, I find new ways of missing you.
I’ll try calling you or you could hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.
I cannot stand these people when they are all cold and bitter.
You should know that I’m done chasing trouble and heartbreak.
Got detours and delays, I’m still trying to rectify my previous mistake.
I could’ve handled it better, but right now the past does not really matter.
You settled for a takeaway when you could’ve had the world on a silver platter.
So, let's just keep ignoring each other, and pretend that each of us does not exist because ignorance is bliss.
Do not call me when you can text me, matter of fact, don’t ever call me again.
You only remember me and the intensity of my love and affection whenever you are feeling lonely.

18 | 31 Poems for August

When you listen to my poetry, my heartbeat should be playing in the background.
A poem buried in the pages of a book that lays on the shelves of the library found in my heart awaits to be recited again.
Forgive me for all the shades of poetry I cannot be.
Euclidean geometry cannot fathom the lines in my book of rhymes.
I’ll be your faith just so you can move mountains.
I’ll be your river just so you can walk on water.
I’ve been craving for more intellectual conversations ever since I met you.
I discovered the beauty of the world because of you.
I find liberty in the presence of you.
I find liberty in all the simple things that you do.
I feel the warmth of your presence in all the broken parts of me I thought no longer existed.
Your beauty is saturated with a language that I wish to learn.
You fill my empty pages with your words.
Words that will create an anthology that we will write together.
I find liberty in the beauty that is you.
I find liberty in all the simple things that you do.
I want to be the unforgettable poem written on the pages of your soul.
I want to be the unforgettable poem that will always make your heart warm and whole.
The world will read the pages of my soul, but my poetry will always belong to you.
My poetry will always belong to you, only you.

21 | 31 Poems for August 2017

We have both grown up and in that process, we grew apart.
You weren’t emotionally prepared when I said that I love you.
You dismissed my feelings so cold and quickly, I questioned whether you were planning to stay.
In hindsight, it’s obvious that you were destined to leave, what were your plans anyway?
I’ve been writing melancholic poetry and hoarding unforgettable memories.
I question everyone that does not pledge their allegiance to love and loyalty.
I have been reminiscing about the past and all the time that we wasted.
Music that I listen to reminds me of something distant that we used to be.
I should have given you every single part of me when I still had the chance.
I finally understand that it’s too late for me to be apologising for my mistakes.
Apart from attempting to become lovers, we were good friends and now we don’t talk anymore.
It’s such a shame, not even a simple hello could ever suffice, now tell me who’s to blame?
Is it me for becoming emotionally distant or you for giving up too easily on something worth fighting for?
I’ve been looking at your pictures since you left and I can’t seem to delete them from my phone.
When you dismissed my feelings for you, I questioned whether you were planning to stay.
In hindsight, it’s obvious that you were destined to leave, what were your intentions anyway?
We’ve become strangers with memories, it’s obvious that you will never love me like you used to.

14 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I’m sorry that I was never a good enough lover for you.
You're walking out on me to be a good woman for someone else.
Now I’m here whispering to the ghosts that haunt me in my dreams.
I wonder if he knows that you cheated and how you left me defeated.
When my days get dark that is usually when I have my brightest ideas.
I’m gradually battling depression and tackling the fears I’ve had for years.
I’m hurting and I know that I’m not perfect, but the weight of all these words has become a burden.
I've been feeling hollow like the men T.S. Eliot wrote about, I've been feeling pain while trying to hold on.
But how long can I keep holding on when all this pain becomes an indication of everything that’s bound to go wrong?

I’m sorry that I was never a good enough lover for you.
You walked out on me to be a good woman for someone else.
Now I’m here whispering to the ghosts that haunt me in my dreams.
Love is blind but clearly that is something that everyone cannot see.
Somewhere in my heart there’s a void, a void that I keep trying to avoid.
I wish that you receive everything that I couldn’t give to you, there’s so much of myself that I could sacrifice.

1 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

You left me hanging like Da Vinci’s paintings on the walls of the Louvre.
But I could never manage to transform my heartbreak into a masterpiece.
I need good wine, good friends and music by Solange, Emeli Sandé and Floetry.
I need to know that love and freedom are in my life even when there’s pain and heartbreak in my eyes.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and get some loving from you.
Let’s listen to our favourite songs while we reminisce about the love and happiness that we’ll never get back.
Happiness is an elusive feeling and I have been numb to it for some time now.
You know how depression, loneliness and heartbreak fit me well like a glove.
It has been a while since I’ve heard from you, too many days since February.
Too many days since I’ve been patiently waiting so I had to give up eventually.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to see you every Wednesday morning.
Every Wednesday morning, I was mourning the deaths of loved ones by celebrating the gift of life.
Too many days since February, I’ve been waiting for you to come and find me.
No amount of morphine could ever ease my pain, I am just trying to feel and find love again.
I took an Uber from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and get some loving from you.
Let’s listen to our favourite songs while we reminisce about the love and happiness that we’ll never get back.

I’ll be gone by the time you read this, I loved you but you couldn’t see it.
Break my heart and slowly slit my wrists before this love ever tries to **** me.
This is the part where the story begins or maybe where the beginning ends.
We traded in our lives for religion, this is a sinner’s redemption and you’ve been flying kites like Amir.
Did I not deserve the kind of love and happiness that I have been consistently writing about?
I yearn for a reality worth dreaming about, but lately my heart has been paralysed by doubt.
Time is expensive like a Richard Mille watch but every minute I spent with you was worth it.
It hurts me to say, that no matter what you say or do, I’ll always be by your side pulling you through.
I’ve been feeling hollow, I’ve been feeling pain while trying to let go of memories of the past.
I’ve realised that reality is not as beautiful as it seems as soon as the sun set on the horizon of my dreams.
You settled for a takeaway when you could’ve had the world on a silver platter.
Now that you’ve left, I realised how you were right when you said that I deserve better.
But I’m uncertain of how to feel about the heartbreak I once felt a while ago in Hatfield.

I want to hold her in my arms until she forgets what loneliness feels like.
I want to hold her heart like the lonely autumn trees hold the fragility of clinging leaves.
The traces of my lips on her skin reach deep inside her soul and transform an abandoned house into a loving home.
The weather hasn’t been the same ever since the sun decided to impersonate the warmth of her aura.
It doesn’t matter which book I’m reading; her body will always be the scripture that my hands believe in.
I found myself longing to love and appreciate her with the kind of passion she’s never felt before.
Loving her is like looking at a shattered mirror and clearly seeing every bit of the broken reflection.
The weather hasn’t been the same ever since the sun decided to impersonate the warmth of her aura.
It doesn’t matter which book I’ll be reading; her love will always be the scripture that my heart believes in.
I want to hold her in my arms until she remembers what happiness feels like.

7 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I turned my pain into poetry and I haven’t looked back ever since.
I’m heavily flawed and heavily guarded but I still remain heavenly sent.
Give me a glass of lemon and gin, unforgettable memories and a lot of sin.
But I’m searching for more than just a new lust, so where should we begin?
As the sun sets on the horizon of my dreams, I realise that reality is not as beautiful as it seems.
The orchestra of my heart has somehow been playing out of tune since the beginning of June.
I wish people would never ask about my love life because I could never love or be loved right.
Give me a muse, a bottle of exquisite wine accompanied with unforgettable memories and a lot of sin.
But I’m searching for more than just a new lust and a temporary lover so where should we begin?
Most of my friends are getting engaged, having beautiful kids, graduating or just chasing dreams.
The orchestra of my heart has somehow been playing out of tune since the beginning of June.

28 | 31 Poems for August 2017

My sneakers’ shoelaces are as tangled up as the words I tried to say to you.
The words I tried to say when you were slowly slipping away from my grasp.
I surprisingly stuttered when I tried to tempestuously tell you how I felt.
Now I’m wondering what to do or what’s going to happen next.
I’ll just sit here going crazy and patiently wait for your call or text.
My sneakers’ shoelaces are as tangled up as the words I tried to say to you.
So, don’t be too surprised when I don’t respond when you ask, if you can hang out with me.
However, I still want to read all the love letters your lips and hands are yet to write on my skin.
It is spring now but you have the presence of summer clouds and I have been staring at the sky ever since you left.

8 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I’ve been reminiscing about the past and all the time that we wasted.
I should stop trying to hold on to something that I need to let go of.
I have no logical explanations about how the heart wants what it wants.
All I know is that your love is all that my heart treasures and knows.
That’s probably the main reason why I cannot let these memories go.
No matter what people say, you will always remain beautiful to me.
Back when we were together, I always thought you’d always be mine.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So, I always thought that you would be able to show me how.
Whenever you need arms to run into, just know that I’ve got you.
I’ve been reminiscing about the past and all the time that we wasted.
I guess it is true – time gradually blunts the edges of sharp memories.
Hope you’ve found a way to slow down your intake of ***** and Hennessy.
Whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, just know that I’ve got you.
For some odd reason, I always thought that you’d always be mine.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So, I always thought that you would be able to show me how.

Daydreaming with my eyes open.
You staying with me is what I'm hoping.
But I can't focus, I'm not coping.
You've shown me a better tomorrow.
You've taken away my sorrow.
I've found love at last.
Without darkness, I would never searched for the light.
My love for you will continue to burn
bright.

The truth is: I don't wanna love again without you.

22 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Some nights are the hardest but this bottle of wine flows better than my favourite rapper.
So, the heartache gradually dissipates with every glass taken and the smile on my face inevitably grabs the attention of a stranger.
Some nights it feels like my days are numbered like a calendar, like the pages of my favourite book.
But the problem about this story is that there is no ******, the protagonist dies in the middle of the story.
It’s funny how the moments when I was almost left for dead are the moments when I felt most alive.
I had given up on finding happiness and love before you walked into my life.
From a distant stranger to an unforgettable muse all the way through to sharing a glass of wine with you.
When nothing else in the world makes sense somehow you always do.
Some nights are the hardest but this bottle of wine flows better than my favourite rapper so pour me another glass.
Pour me another glass because time spent in your presence is always filled with happiness, love and laughter.
Some nights are the hardest but this bottle of wine flows better than anything you ever thought it would.

There’s a missing piece in my life.
Maybe it’s you, the one I wrote about.
The one who gives the type of love that leaves no room for doubt.
We all just need to be held.
You are the one I want.
I have no need for poetry when I have your touch.
I have no need for poetry when I have your love.
Please tell me once again that you’ll be mine.
I will never know anything more beautiful than the feelings that I have for you.
I want to see the world in your eyes.
I want to see the world through your eyes.
I want your lips to wear my smile.
You are the ink in my poems.
You are the ink that my pen bleeds.
You are the stars in my starry night sky.
My eyes have been barbed by sorrow.
These eyes keep reflecting a heart burdened and ravaged by pain.
The garden in my concrete heart yearns for rain.
Because of the muse who has me writing again.

14 | 31 Poems for August 2017

All you can hope for is someone who will pray with you, someone who will pray for you.
I’ve got you covered like warm blankets during cold winter nights.
I’ve got you covered and not like those dodgy life insurance policies.
Everything is complicated and my feelings are hardly reciprocated.
But everything is different when it comes to you and what you do.
It’s because of your love I get to see myself from a different view.
So, tell me that I’ll be whole again, tell me that I’ll be yours again.
What we share is beautiful so love, tell me that this time we’ll never end.
Show me who you are again, hold my hand and guide me through the pain.
Love me across beautiful South African cities and never let me go again.
All that I can hope for is someone who will pray with me, someone who will pray for me.
You’ve made me question if all the women I’ve loved before were worthy of my love, time and effort.
Nothing has been the same ever since you came and now you’ve made me question a lot of things lately.

10 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I could feel the love and not the distance.
I don’t want to be reminiscing about you right now.
You burn me again like my favourite bottle of Irish whiskey.
These wounds leave blood stains on my white canvas sneakers.
You could feel the distance and not the love – that’s the difference.
Everything is complicated and my feelings are hardly reciprocated.
Why should I try to win you over again when I know that I’ve lost anyway?
But the truth is, it wasn’t even about winning; maybe I overlooked several warning signs in the beginning.
Bullets pierced through my body as you slowly stole my soul away from me.
Before I left you alone, I placed an infinite number of kisses on your collarbone.
Heartbreak has taught me that it’s best to back away and leave love alone.
However, I still want to read all the love letters your hands are yet to write so effortlessly on my skin.
I knew that someday my love wouldn’t be good enough for you and that somehow, you’d find a way to disappear.
I could feel the love and not the distance, and maybe that’s one of the reasons why I still need you here.

4 | 31 Poems for August 2016

I yearn for the type of love that heals countless years of pain.
I crave for your presence in ways that I cannot eloquently explain.
Run away with me, take your hand and hold it closer to mine.
I pray that you never leave me behind because good love is hard to find.
My words have left me, they live on the edges of your lips now.
I’m content with the idea of having my poetry inhabit your daily speech.
Let’s take the time to create a reality worth dreaming about.
With you, I found the type of love that leaves no room for doubt.
After all we’ve shared I realise that I never want to leave your side.
With you, my heart no longer feels the need to hide.
You have the kind of eyes that people could often get lost in.
You have the kind of eyes that people often get lost in.
I yearn for the type of love that heals countless years of pain.
I crave for your presence in ways that I cannot eloquently explain.

2 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I saw you, without all the things that the media had convinced every girl to have just so she can look and feel beautiful.
You may not love poetry but I love how you always become a poem for me.
You are simply amazing; the pulchritude in your presence has liberated me.
Through nights of pain I found love and through love I managed to find myself.
I found myself yearning to appreciate you even more than the day before.
Curves, edges and perfect imperfections – you possess an intriguing allure.
My feelings are genuine so please disregard what you hear in the corridors.
I want to hold you in my arms until you remember what happiness feels like.
Lay your feet on warm concrete floors while my hands gradually explore every single contour.
I am obsessed with the curves of your lips and how gently they are always able to hold my smile.
The weather hasn’t been the same ever since the sun decided to impersonate the warmth of your aura.
Your eyes change colour when you smile and I can see everything especially the reflection of your love.
So many cold autumn nights have come and gone but I still have a desire to feel your warmth once again.
I saw you, without all the things that the media had convinced every woman to have just so she can look and feel beautiful.

2 | 31 Poems for August 2017

How are you so certain of a love that you’ve never truly experienced, but only seen in your dreams?
The love and faith you have in our future endeavours has got me listening to Love in the Future for hours on end.
I am not having any second thoughts about us, I’m just doubtful of the intensity of my love lately.
I have honestly lost count of how many times we’ve broken up – I’ve never been good at math anyway.
I’ve had to acquaint myself with the truth just so I could look you straight in the eyes without flinching.
Love me unconditionally until the day when you can finally feel my heart rapidly beating inside your chest.
Somehow love has eluded me ever since we’ve parted ways so I’ve been avoiding commitment these days.
I keep doing this thing wrong and constantly putting myself in places and spaces that I don’t belong.
On some nights, I sporadically smell your perfume on the white cotton sheets of my memory.

14 | 31 Poems for August 2016

In my mind, I can still hear you singing Born Sinner out loud.
I’m patiently pursuing purpose; I hope I’m making you proud.
I’m glad that I got the chance to know someone like you.
I’ve acquired the skill to transform simple words into beautiful poetry but there’s a few people that still doubt.
But those that doubt me and my words will soon believe.
Death is a bit like love, sometimes we don’t see it coming.
We never do, no matter how many melancholic memories we endure or how much pain we go through.
You never let anyone negatively alter you, you chose to stay true.
It may be too late but for that I salute you.
In my darkest days you always pulled me through.
It may be too late but for that I humbly thank you.
Now that you’re gone, my eyes have been barbed by pain and sorrow.
All the time I have is borrowed so I can’t be too worried about tomorrow.
You always danced to life’s rhythm, you were one to never press pause.
In my darkest hours I take the time to let your memory shine.
At least I got the chance to love and know someone like you.
You’ve slipped away and nothing can fill this pain.
I didn’t get the chance to say all I had to say.
I wasted too many hours and now it’s too late.
You’re gone now, living in a better place.
You’re gone now and I can no longer find you.
So in my darkest hours I’ll always take the time to let your memory shine.
I hope to feel the warmth of your presence in all the broken parts of me.
In my mind, I can still hear you singing songs by Emeli Sandé out loud.
I’m patiently pursuing purpose; I hope I’m making you proud.
The world may have taken you away but at least I had the chance to love you.

I’m taking a chance on love.
I hope you take it with me.
I’m a dreamer, dreams are the only things I have left.
I know your soul is torn.
Hold back your tears while I’m gone.
But if you cry, then please don’t cry alone.
I hope we start healing each other.
Besides we all bleed the same.
In days of loneliness and pain.
A smile is the least I can maintain.
I hope you remain free and mellow.
You’ve given me the courage to say hello.
Refrained me from saying goodbye.
Everything happens for a reason, I need to find the reason why.
I hope to find the courage to perform these lines.
The courage to scream at the top of my lungs.
The courage to express my freedom of speech.
As my heart beats, feel the freedom in my speech.
Listen to my freedom as I speak.
I pray not to become a victim of vanity.
Before I begin to lose my sanity.
I hope my dreams turn into reality.
I just hope that I’m not the only hoping.
I hope we start healing each other.
Because we all really need other.
I’m taking a chance on love.
I hope you take it with me.