My screams, fiercely and recklessly,
****** themselves into the starless sky.
Howls of despair became an inviting try.
It is fearfully unknown who or what may answer
from the den of the lachrymose night.
It's a different world in the charged absence of light.

The ghosts of my cries reverberate in heaven's valley,
and long linger down hell's burnt alley's.

Long before I knew self love would heal my life.  
Annihilate my strife.
A dawning of hope now veins my soul with the missing light.

Aching through eternity.
How can you feel so heavy
yet so empty?
Simultaneously.
Stone lead hearts
and soul black holes.
Trees ache for the riot
of supple leaves.
Aching wants
are not aching needs

I acutely ache for the return of me.

Empty deny's aching to be full.
My heavy thoughts dream
of veins of empty peace.
Nature's beauty aches to be.
Every single ache,
is a different want and a
different need.

What if you were given the choice of living
an alternate reality?
In a strange forest, a labyrinth of bark doors.
A life where your dreams are radiant diamonds seen.  
Would problems crumble like twigs upon the forest floor?
Or does always exist a veil of unimagined terror's sheen.  
A false peace.
Some memories refuse to easily fade, would thoughts
from the life you abandoned, permissionless, invade.  
You will exist extremely haunted by
your unfulfilled deeds and unplanted seeds.

Make the life you already have hold meaning.
Live the days you are given
with the lustre of someone actually
abandonlessly living.
The wind was lust that day.
Change lies within the morning rays.  
Be who you are
In the life you have chose to stay.

I've swam deep vast oceans.
I've burned in voraciously raging
fires of devotion.
Needing that unknown more
in attempt to satiate my core.
You are the golden treasure
upon my soul's floor
You are the awe
in a star glistened night's allure.
You are a ruby blood scarlet twilight.
In my heart's empire a blinding light.
From the wondrous world of you,
my desire refuses to tire.
Forever would exist as never,
unless you are acquired.

Did you say?
Every word that preyed on your heart today.
Caused your soul delay.
Did you let people know?
When your heart glowed.
Invite joy to linger,
Caress the world with wanting fingers.
Was the world your art?
Admiring the fires of creation,
with elation.
Did you tilt your head back?
Abandon all you lack.
And savor earth's breeze,
in it's whooshing dance with the trees.
Live like a voracious wind gust,
to the fullest lust of ease.
Each newborn breath leaves.

****** was like speeding through a euphoric galaxy.  
Completely unburdened by mundane reality.  
My mind dreams deep, but far from sleep.  
Desire drenched lips bring my naked petals a dew of bliss.  
Abandoning myself to you is a sweet intense insanity.
As you stare at the center of my soul
Devouring my untold.  
In an aching cocoon in the garden of my heart.  
The caterpillar of never, becomes butterflies of the deepest pleasure

Beyond the chipper cheerful rays of sun.
Lies a dark and hungry oblivion.
Where horrors shed obsidian garments.
Nightmares claw at your hidden compartments.
To unleash terror's shadow,
upon your thoughts distorted glow.
Behind every sun is a dark lark.
Laced with fear's song to sink your heart.

Belly burns with many inferno's inside.
Charred screams and shrieks
of rage.
Ancient noise travels up from
the soul's deep cage.
It may be time to burn that page.
That within the deepest, primal
moans of ecstasy.
My long chained arms fling free,
as the profuse pump of life proceeds to seize.
My mind is now a sweet swarm
of gentle jasmine breezes.
Veins vibrate inner peace.
To desire nothing,
to have no need
Just a greed for great tranquility.

A single junco hopping carefree;
pecking stray seed in the snow.
The bird fully embraces the world it knows.
It's tiny heart thumps in gratitude;
for the wondrous discovery of food.

There is a difference between nice and kind;
you will hopefully someday find.
Being nice, you are pleasant and agreeable;
only to make yourself shine
in another's judgemental eye.
If you are kind, you have a deeper level of compassion
for a person's needy cry.

Cradle my cerebrum.
Fuse our hemispheres.
Wear the crown of my soul's kingdom.
To create droughts of tears.
Disappear the lonely years.
Your touch is,
necessity of nourishment,
for my groaning hungry skin.
Use the bark of my bones,
to build a castle we may dwell within.
Our souls of destiny entwine and collide.
You crash into my heart with every lunar tide
Unbreakable bliss,
from the prescious pierce of a single kiss.

Every beautiful surface has a terrible depth. - unknown


The mysterious formation
of pristine turquoise glaciers
in my heart.
Are the monuments of all
my cold goodbyes.
The terrible ache of the chaos of life,
broke off an island of ice
seeking the why.
The tip of the iceberg is
frozen shards of what's left behind.
Sinking voyaging thoughts
from the dark depths of my mind.

Standing there is a beautiful man
who says take my hand.
I will forever be your land.

Pleasure seems only recognizable
after breeching the membrane of pain.
We were a beautiful catastrophe.
Sun after slashing rain.
Questioned by the sane.
Velvet and volatile.
Looking back at the stretches
of  blackened miles.
At all our infinite tries.
A sunrise and sunset were never destined to occur together.
You are my painful, passionate chance at never......

A heart purrs and pounds
with ecstatic sound.
In synchronicity,
with another heart breaking.
a somber shattering,
slicing soul's ground.
Butterflies flutter
and bats shriek.
Agony's sun to ecstasy's moon.
A perpetual gnaw to taste love's truth.
And drip with its bittersweet juice.

A heart purrs and pounds
with ecstatic sound.
In synchronicity.
With another heart breaking,
a somber shattering,
slicing soul's ground.
Butterflies flutter
and bats shriek.
Agony's sun to ecstasy 's moon.
A perpetual gnaw to taste love's truth.
And drip with it's bittersweet juice.....

Her bronze foggy haunted light
was the splendor of a winter night.
Seen through a black lace of branches.
ornamented with the corpse's of berries.
Stirred my heart with the dark side of merry.
The sky was in a utero of magic
behind it's bedazzled dilated moon.
Fetal snowflakes will be born
in the infant hours, of a dead cold dawn.
Come silent storm,
I already am your willing pawn.

The path into the black tree forest
can hear a lost soul's silent cry.  
The trees, black entanglements
of vacant limbs climb towards a pale sky.
Black bark configurations.
Excite the shadowed imagination.  
The black trees absorb despairing
thoughts and worries.  
Awaiting the sugared innocence  
of those first snow flurries.
Here, like a fallen leaf,
the heart's decayed foliage is quietly buried

All the darkness in the world stems from the darkness of our own heart - unknown

Why do thoughts, darkly hideous,
plague the midnight mind?
He did not want my heart, he wanted
the gore beneath its scarlet rind.
I hemorrhaged flashing visions of
my crimson blood dripping on
****** snow.
His sweet slashes
left my heart thrashing.
As he drank the fierce red ocean
that floats my soul below.
I smelled a rancid scent,
The mortal death's on his breath.
In a deep haunting whisper,
he revealed that I would cease to grow old.
If I drank from his slit vein,.
I'd be free of mortal pain.
Now with an insatiable thirst.
I shudder to think it can always be worse.

Your eyes were deep oceans.
Salted with pain.
Drained from our veins.
I have a fear of drowning in you.
Silent confessions were like opioids.
The feelings that consume my heart
are now bone deep.
My cells know.
Why my blood runs slow.
When you kiss my pale
pouty lips.  
Further I slip into
the waves of you.

Do days swallow time?
Or does time swallow the days of our lives?
What memories get digested, while some are excreted?
The past starves to be remembered
after it's long forgotten.
The future hungers to begin,
heightened by the uncertainty.
The rarity of simply coincidence,
is like a blue orchard on the moon.

My cells in sweet contortion,  
as your passion infects me with  
magic poison.  
I wish I was boneless,  
so I could twist and fly your body  
all night long.  
I see the shadows of me I hide,  
in the blazing fire of your eyes.  
You plunged into me  
and seized my secrets from  
the tenor of my moans.  
In my deepest spaces,  
my core knows you are a lustful danger.  
My heart betrays my soul,  
offering you endless wild abandon.  
In between the grip
of my quivering canyon.

Stories nestled in my bones
are not silent storms.
My heart is haunted
by their primordial groans.
Yet so many scattered thoughts
go unknown.
Like the frantic way
autumn leaves are blown.
What decays becomes wisdom
for another day.
Skeletal stories now, the flesh of us
is gone.
Even though we loved from the core
of our jagged bones.
Human life seems just an agonized attempt
to be heard.

Stories nestled in my bones
are not silent storms.
My heart is haunted
by their primordial groans.
Yet so many scattered thoughts
go unknown.
Like the frantic way
autumn leaves are blown.
What decays becomes wisdom
for another day.
Skeletal stories now, the flesh of us
is gone.
Even though we loved from the core
of our jagged bones.
Human life seems just an agonized attempt
to be heard.

Shattered soul
by stabbing holes.
Wounds and voids.
Silent screams
are broken noise.
Deep below rock bottom,
is an equation lacking a sum.
Dead alive.
The night sky
with her diamond eyes
cried.

Broken thoughts.  
A cracked terrain in my brain.  
Where a desolate highway stretches to  
a familiar nowhere.  
Where dreams have died,  
from thirsting too long to be alive.  
Dehydrated and depleted of happiness,
I stumble along, obsessing where I went wrong.  
There is a bird in the bramble of desire  
that entangles my heart.
Who sings oblivious joy.  
It's our ability to think,  
that is the root of our suffering.  
Mend your thoughts, change your world.

The blood red vibrant buds on the trees ignite
in a chaotic emergence against the pale blue sky.
The infant spring sheen of the warm sun,
beckons my mind into a garden of oblivion.
Heavy thoughts are lost to the miniature whistles
of the happy house finch.
Breeze sweeps crumbs of dreams that were never clinched.
Penetrating the soul's rich soil
are fresh buds of ideas that have remained loyal.
Before blossoms burst, my black dirt voraciously thirsts.
And then joyous daffodils destroy winter's curse.

The buds anxiously wait to burst through
warmer, softer ground.
They sprout like a secret lacking sound.
First signs of spring and the excited joy they bring.
Accompanied by joyous melodies the birds do sing.
Robin's, dressed in their red breast, hop everywhere.
A sky saturated blue, provokes a happy hypnotic stare.
The sun's soft spring heat shines on the thick, smooth buds.
Sometimes what is fragile is at the same time tough.
And renewal of earth and heart is abundantly enough.

The jagged pieces congealed to a thick solid numbness.
My heart became a frozen iceberg to what you casually confess.
Bone white, splattered in moonlight, it now protrudes
in the motionless black onyx ocean of my soul.
Desperate to absorb the solace the glowing darkness eludes.
Yet alone, I shiver with the ice of your truths.

Who you want
may very well not want you.
Why is it we covet so, the shineless promises,
warning signs of the cold blatant truth.
A dull fact, you were never mine.
I chase the unrequited with my neurons of denial.

My soul has collapsed.
My heart and mind have no care.
Times of pain feel like small eternities,
stifling the air.
My soul, laying at the rock bottom,
entangled, strangled by the minutes, hours and days
that lapse.

My heart numbly persists to pump blood
rich with pain.
My mind teeters closer to the cliffs edge
of being sane.
I dream the sky opens with a slashing rain.

At my souls disaster scene,
people whisper of the minutia and mundane.
Fellow humans promise to help,
as they pray with might you never ask,
that you never step out of your lane.
Few in life take a stand,
step outside of their box of plans.

Born for the deep, it's easier to seek the shallow.
Lack of wonder for what's beneath.
They just  step over the carcass's of souls
scattered amongst despairs ever growing heap.

Struck by the gloss of the ebony plumage
of the raven in starlight.
His eyes an oily mystery
of the perpetual return of night.
Fascinated by his burrowing stare
at the gnarled knot in the tree.
That furnished a nest of naive robin's eggs.
Under inevitable seize.
Meaningful change has an approaching leg,
the wicked raven confides.
A need to explore the shadows
that dwell inside.
I've made companions of
the midnight hours.
In keeping with the natural order,
the pale blue eggs are greedily devoured.
To be who I am.
I left empowered.

Meet me at
the sun polished Crater Lake.
In such lavish light,
the fir, pine and hemlock,
are warmly baked.
Woozy trees, drunk on the beauty.
Inebriated with a
moment of the stolen still.
These stoic bark creatures flaunt
pristine emerald and jade frill.
The long desired water
possess's the purest hue.
The deep cobalt blue,
lazily yet hypnotically,
extends an invitation to you.
The lake's shimmered secrets
hold the most ancient truths.
The charcoal mountainous flank
boast's of thousands of years old.
Stirs a riveting lazy pleasure
in my soul's craters.

A rain of shimmering diamonds
fell upon my naked thoughts of you.
In my depths spread a sparkling pool.
But your grueling absence torments
the empty arms of lonely midnight hours.
My longing hunger pangs, while my yearning devours.
Time ripped open, climb my curls to my tower.
Your heart a fairytale, both sweet and sour.
My want is my need.
My need is my want.
Desire is a mysterious savant.
Submerged in drops of your radiant soul.
Stars glisten across a sky of coal.
Drenched in destiny's dew.
Our lifetimes together have been a few.

Fear has unraveled its roots,
in the dank soil of my soul.
This shadowed unknown agony,
lurks the dark country of my heart.
In places I would never dare go.  
A starless womb,  
from which black embryos of horror,
will be born.  

I launch prayers to the angels,  
but hell's laughter is wicked and loud.  

Dread.
Worse than being dead.

The height of pleasure.
Ecstasy 's earthquakes shake soul.
Mind crumbling ******.

Break through my shiny membranes.
Strip my soul raw
and stalk me insane.
Sink into my tissues.
Your lustful caw echoes
deep in my brains coves.
You never left but yet I miss you.
Pleasure finally reigns, the exodus of pain.
Make lace of my violin veins
Inhuman sounds in every primal refrain.
You are ecstasy tainted with hell,
If denied possession of you,
in the sweet shackles of my cells.

Looking at the explosion clouds.
There is a complete void of sound.
The September trees
are diminishing green,
in their lazy lean.
We are not just alive,
to satisfy hungers.
To examine bruised blunders.
Nature satisfies us too.
Bombs of peace in a sky cornflower blue.

Raindrops dangle from the gnarled tree's ripe berries.
Like suspended sparkling tears that revolt the fall.
As we falsely be merry.
Inevitably the teardrop will fall to ground.
Why did it cling so hard.
Below eyes of iris shards.
You might get an- oh be strong.
How dare you to peddle advice
Without ever standing in my shoe.
Tears hid inside veins, as words form lies.
A mother somewhere echoed- hide your teardrops.
Conceal your pain.
When someone asks how you are,
do they really care to know?
Pleasantries do not like mention of despair.
Once in a blue moon an angelic human creature may actually care.
To reenter the wound with you.

Hope is the last thing ever lost" - Italian proverb

Hope.
And what if it is lost.
Call to it to come back.
It will come even in the face
of terminal blackness.
Walk into the ravaging dark.
Fall apart so that you may find,
Those long lost moments that made you shine.
The fireflies of the mind.
That flashing glow somehow soothes
things gone out of control.
Save one in a jar in your soul.
Hope.
The magic light that ignites internal growth.

The water was a blue universe where the soul is fluid.
Lifetime far away from the closest human grid.
Aquamarine dream, shines a glacial sheen
of a mountainside secluded lake.
Engulfed in triangular summits with their bleached
termination dust flakes.
The peace was so still and so primitively profound.
There existed no need to make a single sound.
My every hurt was soothed with liquid blue bliss.
Morning would bring a hypnotic mist.
Moistening blades of grass that are April sun kissed.
Grateful to be alive to witness such a sight.
My soul floats the motionless blue with
sweet trembling tranquil delight.

The delicate silence of the morning forest
was fractured by a rumbling groan.
Of the unknown.
The tall trees, the pine needle forest floor
seem to know.
The mortal fates that will inevitability grow.
I walked alone haunted by that guttural groan.
Why won't today let us meet tomorrow,
maybe a chance for the cease of sorrow?
The trees comfort and whisper there is a reason
we can't change yesterday,
Just rays of memories hung like leaves
upon the soul.
We can learn from the past,
clearly see the holes.
Still not enough to predict tomorrow's turn.
I accept the trees may know more than me
though on my mind the unknown burns.
Whatever is etched on our bones will be.
Forbidden to see.
The heart will still believe......

Towering cotton white orchids.
Splattered with a purple hue,
like fresh pooled blood stains.  
If death had occured,
the orchids are oblivious
and unapologetically vain.  
Bizarre and exotic.  
Petals plush and ******.  
The orchid's eye bores into me and see,
me writhing in the broken chrysalis  
of my massacred dreams.  
The orchids know that all
is not what it seems......
Even in the most dire of times
the cost of hope is free......
They whisper, emerge...
and tower tall and unique,
like the beauty of me......

The veiled moon emits
the strangest obscure light.
Silently awakening
the secret world of my dark delights.
Yet the tide twinkles,
blinding bright.
On the ancient shore
of my mind tonight.
Mysterious memories swirl
that have haunted me before.
As a dark euphoria sedates my core.
In the center of my soul,
exists a vaulted door.
Where the ghosts of the heart reside.
To go inside,
exposes every secret you ache to confide.
Whoever told me there is no magic
lied to my seeing, searching eyes.
The night is silent, can you hear it....
The world's dark veined ecstasies,
sustain my sparkling startled spirit.

The explosion of ivory dogwood blossoms
sweetly assaults the eye.
The bird of the day is the mourning dove.
With their sweet relentless pecking.
I let out a sigh.
A hawk's in town today.
Why most birds have stayed away.
The perfume off spring rain arouses my soul.
Wet buds sweetly festering,
as another day I grow old.

Time sits in the golden dusk of the field,
gnawing away the days.  
Hungrily it consumes our lives,
the shaded moments that didn't count
or failures to strive.  
Extracting and devouring even the thickest
honey of happiness from the soul's hive.  
Break away memories from the edge of the day,
crumbs left behind make our bellies ache.  
For the non- memories, things we wish we had done.
Thinking there was a million more sun's.  
The echoes of all that was left unsaid, a lead burden,
if only a mind could be read.  
I must not waste a moment of time,
Live like tomorrow you will perish and die.  
In time, do not confide.
Just kindle you heart and it's wild blazing fire.  
Be alive in the moment, free your desire.

The vast stars shine
ever so, ravenous
for lover's wishes.
Our lips were starved
for deep velvet kisses.
Craving further passage
to a blast of bliss.
Flesh, muscle and bone
clash and intertwine.
Desire climbing the heart
with it's yearning whine.
In adamant refusal
to be denied.
We made lust drenched love
beneath the shiny black
sequin sky.
The sweet stains of ecstasy
made it feel like
a hundred million times.

The May sky
held a long awaited
invitation to dream.
My mental steam
had finally reached
the atmosphere.
Behold,
a choir of squawk
was released.
Extraordinary,
was the wedge of geese.
Impressive
in their shifting
chevron flight.
A few rebels
fly off
to seek the naked night.

There was a lurid green sheen  
to the ancient creek.  
Sweetly haunted by  
the secret summer reflections
of the leaves.  
The sunbeams form brilliant white ripples
on the surface of the cool languid water.  
What a perfect location for peace to loiter.  
The gliding geese pepper the creek,
a visual feast of their natural pageantry.  
I decided to just be.  
In the moment.  
In the immediate journey.
Let past and future worries flee.

There is an extravagant kaleidoscope of galactic colors, in the paradox of your eyes.
The more human you are.
The deeper the universe inside.
We stand beneath a lachrymose sky,
that rains diamond pieces of our ancient lives.
We loved in a time before the birth of stars.
While the universe was cooling,
My heart grabbed into the depths of creation
to gravitate towards yours......

My eyes, throbbing with agony,
bore through the window,  
desperately seeking the freedom of sky.  

To my surprise the crabapple tree  
possessed joyous magenta flowers,  
providing an unexpected  
jubilant assault of my mind.  

Lush leafy erratic branches,  
a turmoil of spring beauty  
stood in striking empathy of my silent cries.  

The afternoon sun pales the majesty of magenta.
As only love can pale agony.  
Memories live forever, is a haunting horrible lie.  
Unlike me, those magenta flowers don't need a why....

My love for her will never die.  
The majesty of those magenta flowers,  
if only for a moment, seizes and saves me deep inside.

There are no beautiful surfaces without a terrible depth" - Nietzsche

I contemplate, but I'm startled and seduced.
By the bone white gargantuan moon.
In it's sedating silence,
it sweetly loomed.  
Over the dark lapping waters.
In attempt to calm my silent tortures.  
Clouds, the steam
of day driven dreams.
Mingle with the moon's
brightest beams.
The shallow tide boasts  
a turquoise ghostly glow.
To display the corals of  
haunted thoughts lodged below.  
Never fear the terror of your deep.
Submerged beneath is where
the wisdom sleeps.

I have arrived.
In the spaces between everything.
Suspended in both the sweet bliss and stark horror
the nothingness can bring.
I've searched  and scoured the astral plane
for pieces of you.
But your energy remains like a strange galactic dew.

Or do your soul's remnants exist solely
in the confines of my mind?
Is the universe really that unkind?
Don't answer.

There is never definitive proof that there is more.
I'm tangled in the eternal dissection of the mysteries
that hound my core.