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Feb 2021 · 279
Carl Miller Feb 2021
Evening coffee grows cold on my old oak desk
While my phone sits silently
As acquaintances grow distant
In mockery of a social life turned burlesque

So I lie, in apathy, on my twin-sized bed
And make no effort to stir
While the glowing globe in the evening portrait
Falls silently as I rest my head
Feb 2021 · 482
Wonderful Young Woman
Carl Miller Feb 2021
She's something else
She's got that magical way about her
That can make me cry or smile
On my darkest of days

But I'm someone else
And I've been hurting forever
I've been waiting a nice long while
For her to make her way

Back into my arms

But she's a wonderful young woman
With all of the dignity
And none of the indignation
And she makes my heart soar

And I'm just a man
With all of the sincerity
And heartfelt elation
I ask myself

What was I waiting for?
Feb 2021 · 240
Love Is A Choice
Carl Miller Feb 2021
Is what I feel for you

And that will never change

In my heart made new
Feb 2021 · 228
Will You Be My Friend?
Carl Miller Feb 2021
Just a crosswalk away
My phone chimes with an "I see you"
It's been a long day
I type out playfully, "I see you too"

Are You okay with me?
Was I sweet enough to keep close?
I'm trying, can't you see?
New year, new you, that's usually how it goes

I guess
Jan 2021 · 299
This Side Of Eternity
Carl Miller Jan 2021
I am bound eternally
Not by the ties of guilt and sin
But to his righteous name
Bright shining as the sun, within

Above the boiling roads
Where hatred brews and spits
I know my nature, loathing
Baal, and his blasphemous wits

This side of eternity
I will strive and fall, headfirst
Bloodied knees rise again
Christ, redeemer, quench my thirst

For life
Keep me far from this world.
Jan 2021 · 164
Carl Miller Jan 2021
Tearing up and down the paths
Leaves and pecan shells on the old concrete
We thought it would last awhile
But while it did, it was sweet

Now I can’t drive over the old river bridge
Without breaking down

Nineteen years and I couldn’t have been less prepared
But I’m joyful over the memories we shared
Because in the end
I made a friend

I Love You
Thank You for everything.
Jan 2021 · 547
You Had Me At...
Carl Miller Jan 2021
We met up at our old spot
To exchange gifts long overdue
And I’ve never been so scared
Yet so relieved, to see you
It's been a minute.
Jan 2021 · 187
Carl Miller Jan 2021
You are the sunshine I never wanted
When the moon draws back at morn
You are a tragedy I long to forget
Laced with waste my past you adorn

Die alone
Get out.
Jan 2021 · 257
Is That You?
Carl Miller Jan 2021
There's an old curtain hanging in my closet
I reach my hand out to touch it sometimes
And sometimes I feel another hand, small and trembling
Reach back through, as if to ask for me to hold it
Short poems like this make for some of the most visually disturbing imagery. This poem is exactly what it sounds like it's about. Read it again.

Jan 2021 · 91
Carl Miller Jan 2021
Tangled up in winding ropes
Of some sobering, humble tragedy
Retracing the steps leading
To the body of some old elegy

While flames dance across her porcelain legs
Making marks on her calves in the shapes of crosses
Holy heat in the crucible of a crucifix
Reminding her of the binding expression
six, six, six
You brought this on yourself.
Jan 2021 · 353
Carl Miller Jan 2021
I could have been your guide
While every star in the night sky died slowly
But You didn't know what You wanted
Or rather, You wanted anything but me
Forget me if it helps you cope.
Jan 2021 · 335
Carl Miller Jan 2021
Bound to a boxspring
With scars on her legs and feet
Eyes adjusting to the light
The faint glow of day warm and sweet

I had never seen wings so silken
Like sheets of cashmere doused in flame
With arms open wide, tied
As if she were a part of the old bed frame

I ask her for her name
As though she would remember vividly
Eight long weeks in the dark
She croaks “sorrow” timidly
You were in pain.
Carl Miller Jan 2021
While I stood above my grave
Above my body held in time's temporal grasp
Beside the flowers and the tide
I look back on everything, that was nothing, but a wave
It never lasts.
Jan 2021 · 173
Carl Miller Jan 2021
It's raining up in heaven, or so they say
The cherubim lament the choices that I've made
The father's hands hold me where I lay
If hell has frozen over, then why is heaven so far away

An ocean to tear my spirit from my frame
The warmer waters fear me all the same
I've seen it and it kills me to know its name
All I ask of you is that you'll take your aim

If I can see the sun come up above the morning mist anew
I could give away a piece of me and know it's killing you
The tragedies that took place in this home that I once knew
Will remind me of the things I feared, and how I found out the truth
Not a thing.
Jan 2021 · 243
Carl Miller Jan 2021
Hammered again and hearing voices
Left paranoid, again, by my own poor choices
I could never hate myself more than I hate You
You’re just an empty bottle
You are just an empty bottle
You are only an empty bottle
And when I stop to think about it
I know You hate Me too
Someone is using my eyes to see. Is that You?
Dec 2020 · 28
Her Eyes
Carl Miller Dec 2020
I cannot hold your gaze for too long my love
To do so would break my heart into many pieces
Scattered atop this hill adorned with leaves
"Then hold my hand tighter than ever," she says

To keep your heart wound up with mine
All the while we hold each other closer
Her eyes are but windows into a vast, autumn grove
And her hands warm my cold, crying heart, once more, then twice over
Take this with You.
Dec 2020 · 134
Carl Miller Dec 2020
And the Lord dwelled within me
And outside of me
Never outside my reach
Yet always so far away

Prone to wander
Lord, I feel like it
Hiding in this trench
Too blind to see it

And the throes of your mighty hands
Performed a great work in my heart
And I was broken down to my very elements
Sent out to sow a seed, and reap it
Heal my heart.
Dec 2020 · 61
Heart Of A Child
Carl Miller Dec 2020
Wide swings the door with the rusted old lock
That holds my memories of outfields and headrests
When we were but children, we saw life through a window
With sunlight spilling into a quiet childhood bedroom

Give me cause
And a childlike mind
A love that makes your heart smile
And a heart that finds joy in being kind
We are God's children.
Dec 2020 · 273
Carl Miller Dec 2020
In the quiet, loving arms of the father who's breast
Beats with the heart that so lovingly made us
A peaceful lull in a sun-touched valley is his love
That will provide us with comfort, quiet, and rest
Christ is king. Rest in his love.
Dec 2020 · 65
Carl Miller Dec 2020
I wanted to look at our stars together, one last time
But instead, I sat in front of that old dusty keybed
Without a thought, with tears coming to my eyes
You offered me comfort and a quiet place to rest my head

It was too dark to see down, over the edge
I wished for the sky to swallow me up
And take me home somewhere way up there
But instead, I lept, off of your love, a steep and jagged ledge
I love you.
Carl Miller Dec 2020
I will lie at the foot of your throne
Enthralled to hold this aching pull
In your midst, I would cease to be
My skin burning like paper in oil

Allow my joy in aching to blossom
While my back bears the weight of my suffering
The whites of my eyes turn red from the tears
I shed for thee, out of love and loathing

My sins are many but your mercy is more
So let me die to my body, and let my heart soar
With the love of the father, who died for me
And suffered too, with eyes to see
Nov 2020 · 71
Carl Miller Nov 2020
Precious addictions
Eliciting hurtful suspicions
Screaming for help
In painful constriction

Drawing me out
In droves of nothing
I can't think, feel, or love
That nothing became something

And it hurts so bad

"You tied my wings together...
and you cut them away..."
forget how to feel and fly away
Oct 2020 · 112
Carl Miller Oct 2020
I am your shattered vision
Residing, restless in this pile of broken glass
The unmoving gaze of your psyche's fission
Among the shards that perforate your past
Sep 2020 · 127
Carl Miller Sep 2020
Uncertainty, a razor to the skin

Expectations, a close shave
Sep 2020 · 443
And They Gaze Back At Me...
Carl Miller Sep 2020
Why do You appear to me?
In the reflection of a beautiful shell standing speechless
Looking at Me that way
On the sand where I thought our futures remained faultless
I don't want You to look at Me any more  
My face is deformed and You don't care for Me any more

Look away while You can
And gaze at Your reflection
The burnt ends of My anger toward myself
And the negativity of a life void of affection

Are making those ends fray and split
Like a stalk in a breeze
Calm and collected
Helpless and at ease

If nothing at all
then something, somewhere
Aug 2020 · 200
Peaches And Sunflowers
Carl Miller Aug 2020
Nothing warms My heart more than a summer peach
Sweeter than honey and softer than cashmere
Summer sunflowers to brighten up the old oak shade
Tranquil drawl in a sing-song voice, a lullaby to my ear
You know You love someone when it makes Your heart happy to write a poem about them. I hope You enjoy this one as much as I do.
Aug 2020 · 89
Chalk Mine
Carl Miller Aug 2020
While I stood above my grave
Above My body held in time's temporal grasp
Beside the stones and coke-white dust
My decrepit lungs release a spine-chilling rasp
This is a 4-liner on the more morbid side. About a young woman from the south who lost her life in a rock slide near an old chalk mine. I've found that stepping away from my traditional suspenseful writings has helped me see the great potential in simpler, story-based poems. I hope You enjoy.
Aug 2020 · 213
Carl Miller Aug 2020
And had he not loved me first, my love would never whisper
The prince of peace left a golden scepter, to my soul, the lowly drifter
The vanity and blights of man he has seen, all things, all knowing
The children of the Lord, bought with blood, red, pouring, flowing

The fatherless of the nephilim, lie between two stairwells
One leading down to death, One promising a gathering, and the sounding of bells
He who chose those that would follow, from the dawn of Adam
He promised refuge and blessings, far off from that great chasm

And though tomorrow is promised not
And our melancholy are great
The king of heaven is peering down
His children lie in wait

When fire and stone carpet our skylines
Far atop the tallest hills
The father returns for the orphan children
Bathed in white, a promise filled

V: A Prayer
O Father, who laid up the water and hills
The populations and beasts at your side
I give unto You my melancholy
My fears reside in Your right hand, My loathing in Your left
May you give unto your children the bread of life
Your body broken for the healing of the weak
Forgiveness I accept should thou provide
Grace I accept should thou provide
Mercy I accept should thou provide
My transgressions are many, but more is your command
May you make the weight of my sin like a bale of straw on the back of my heart
May You comfort my spirit, broken by those who hated you long before my mother knew my name
And for those that know You not, in their hearts or in their steps
May you find forgiveness and love, as you found for me
The king of all, forever and beyond my understanding
be merciful unto us in our time of need
Your kingdom reigns eternally
Quam spiritus et cordis, ut benedicat tibi iste miser,
Forever and beyond, the prince of peace.
Aug 2020 · 250
Carl Miller Aug 2020
What he lost that day was more than love, less than hatred
What replaced it was a feeling of soft neutrality
Nothing left to lose, but everything to gain
His future is a loaded gun, his target: tenacity

Giving all he has, concrete monuments cement his mind
Softly spoken, but teeming with fires
A furnace laced with bullets, guarding a heart of gold
The spirit of a brother, who's fight never tires
Go Get Em'
Aug 2020 · 93
Hide Me/Help Me
Carl Miller Aug 2020
Hide Me:
Romanticize this life, make it look extravagant
Like a bust of porcelain and gold
Explain away my fears and convictions
Every day of my life, until I'm far too old

Help Me:
Paranoia does not make You beautiful
Nothing is nice about fear and loathing
The water is always warmest on the deepest end
I'd rather drown, so help me forget my fear of floating
Loathing, Loving
Aug 2020 · 124
Carl Miller Aug 2020
Spiraling down isn't half as hellish as spinning upward
Knowing there's no oxygen when You get there
And if You make it, it's slow
Painfully slow, because there is no air.

It goes down thick and stout like castor
Turning your stomach in shapes You've never felt
Accepting it is the toughest part
While You watch the person in the mirror melt
Nothing Hurts Anymore
Aug 2020 · 25
Carl Miller Aug 2020
Through my teeth went Your knuckles
In a ****** pile on the hardwood floor
One by one You picked them up
And left them by my bedroom door

Through My hatred for life I bred these feelings
And now I take them out on You
It's only natural You'd come back to bite Me
So at least I can say we're even now too
It Hurts
Aug 2020 · 108
Keep Me
Carl Miller Aug 2020
To stop me from feeling
You must stop my heart from beating
So look back into me
And feel my soul fleeting

To keep me from seeing
You must blind my eyes forever
So shine your light bright
And through my synapse sever

To keep me from speaking
You must bind up my mouth
So grab your belt by it's loop
And send my words deep south

To keep me from from thinking
You must break down my mind
So load up your gun
And leave my thoughts behind
Let Go
Aug 2020 · 289
Who Are You?
Carl Miller Aug 2020
I got out of bed just to look at my alarm clock
To see how long I'd slept in for
I looked around my room for my glasses and hairbrush
And found nothing but an open drawer

To the left of me came a buzz, like a carpenter bee
And a glow that shone on the spine-lined wall
I wasn't expecting it to be you this early
In fact, I wasn't expecting you at all

Where did I see you last?
How did we meet?
What was your name behind that dim photograph?
You didn't say anything, and you wouldn't answer me

Am I wrong for forgetting?
And is this so out of my control?
Will You forgive me when I remember what I did?
Or will the pulse of my memory forever lose it's hold?
Forget Me
Carl Miller Aug 2020
Pen your love and tell her you're dead
The angel spoke to the soldier
Where have I gone o' seraphim bright?
Where is my nurse and my bed?

The angel spoke, like a peal of thunder
You will suffer no more, nor fight, nor weep
Your valiant efforts are theirs to bear
They that knew you now lie and wonder

And what of my mother, and brother, and son?
The young soldier said with a tear
The angel spoke again, with relief and a grin
Rejoice! and be merry, for their fight is done
No judgment, No End
Aug 2020 · 163
Carl Miller Aug 2020
Grappling wind shear like a knife, making subtractions in my skin
I can hardly wait to hit the ground, up, down, out, and in

Headfirst to the earth, soaring downward from high above
A crater makes my resting place in the earth
Black and blue and bold in love
Jun 2020 · 37
Every Second Is A Memory
Carl Miller Jun 2020
Apartment 077
Down the hall
7th on the Right
Nothing special at all

Alarm rings at 7:00 AM
Robe on the bathroom door
Breakfast first thing at 7:22
Out the door by 7:54

Roommate gone to work
Department store by day
Office job for him
Stop for coffee on the way

Work until 6:00 PM
Roommate home at 8:00
Every Second is a memory
So why can't I remember the date?

Mom's birthday on Friday
Overtime on Saturday
Sleep in on Sunday
But what happens on Monday?

I don't want to go to a party
But maybe I should
What if I go on Monday?
I bet he would if he could

Every Second Is A Memory
So I remember everything
But the moment that stuck
Hand on the clock/glock: 7:58 (PM)
TSOE: ESIAM - Poem #1
Jun 2020 · 68
I, The Alpha And Omega
Carl Miller Jun 2020
From nothing I made You
To be fruitful and grow
One rule to guide You
And You fail

What separates us is a sky
I am Everything
Your mind is a cage
And it is frail

When I look to the Earth
It is hollow and cold
My regrets are enough but not plenty
You have broken my covenant with You
Adam, You will die and lust for death
No death will find You

To be one with Me is to reverse time
A concept known only to me, Truthfully
Mankind will fail, time and time again
But will remain hopeful and proud
No Judgement, No End
May 2020 · 39
As One
Carl Miller May 2020
Visions of a little fishing boat
Floating in a little fishing pond
Cloudless day, O' cloudless day
Headmaster of our learning rote

Rockets and fire and earthly cries
When nothing is lost, what's to be found?
Ascension is paramount when we become one
Basking beneath the sun burnt skies

Soaring in waves beyond the blue
A mass of original sin to be cleansed
A being of one, not two, not three
We are all You, and You are all Me
Mar 2020 · 390
Of All The Things...
Carl Miller Mar 2020
Of all the things you could have done
You chose to walk this route
You chose to hang your head this low
To lie and sigh and pout

Amongst your loved ones you live a lie
And tell the truth you'd rather die
A road of pity, sorrow, and pain
And it's far too late to change your lane
My latest poem for the site. With everything going on right now, I need something to keep me away from the physical plane for awhile. Or at least until it comes creeping back in.
Feb 2019 · 433
I Lie Awake At Night
Carl Miller Feb 2019
My bedroom ceiling, I've noticed, is not perfectly smooth
A vast little land with little bumps, bruises, stains, and holes
I like to lie and think of the little battles that took place there
Just above My restless head while the nightlights sway and soothe

My brother sleeps across the room, loud, roaring, and snoring
Enough to keep Me up past midnight, enough to make Me scream
Every hiccup, belch or restless motion, tosses him up like an upset ocean
And as I lie there, growing tired, I begin to find his noises boring

My canine ears enjoy eavesdropping
On animals, cars, people and things
An airplane soaring, a gondolier oaring
The neighborhood dog growling and barking, or My sister's movie night popcorn popping

My stuffed pets lie, awake with Me too
They won't drift off to sleep until I do
I hold My stuffed dog, Rover, to My chest
Trying to sleep, at My father's behest

There will be evenings, just like this one, where I climb into bed, and lie awake at night
Where sleep will cleverly evade Me, and dreams will ignore My every plea
But blessed am I, to be safe in My bed, safe in My home, safe with My family
There's always a chance, that You can drift off to sleep, as soon as You turn out the ceiling's light
Written 02/06/19

Everyone has nights where they can't fall asleep. I wrote this late one of those nights. And this poem transcends My every thought when I think of drifting off to sleep. Feel free to give this one a read if You're feeling sleepless. God Bless.

Feb 2019 · 337
Tell Her You Love Her
Carl Miller Feb 2019
Take hold of her porcelain hand, and whisk her away
Wrapped in ribbons, through rolling hills, dancing until the
sun-drenched morn
Laughter and song, and shelter provide, for the hearts whose names are penned,
Intertwined in lovesick song, spoken sweetly, that summer in May
Written 02/03/19

This poem sums itself up all on it's own. Making it one of My favorites. Written about the beauty of having a soulmate to share life's most soul-searching moments with. I pray this poem encourages You to truly cherish the special person in Your life. I hope You enjoy. God bless.

Jan 2019 · 695
Sweet Morning
Carl Miller Jan 2019
In My arms laid, that sweet, shining child.
Holding so tightly, her gaze to her mother's glowing, humbled face.
The blues and grays and blacks of dusk, lie dormant this sweet morning.
When two came together to become one. That crisp dawn, so humble and so mild.
Not sure exactly when I wrote this one. But it's a favorite of mine. I can't explain how joyful it makes Me feel inside when I recite it aloud. But all the best poetry does that to You in My opinion. I hope You enjoy it. God bless

Jan 2019 · 2.0k
Water Lily
Carl Miller Jan 2019
She would rather a two-night stand with some ***** creature
Androgynous, hopeless, fruitless, born with a womb
Wrapped in skin, she closes up and accepts the night's seed
A starry sky knocks her up, an ****** feature

Innocence makes it's escape from the jaws of the sun
Beauty, grace, fertility, unto her a child cries out
It's father to be, crying stars to fill the pond
The sun opens it mouth, it is done

That familiar night falls yet again, covering him in ink
No longer bearing children, he floats off into the night
The children have ventured out, lonely and afraid
The sun bites once more, black to blue, white to pink
I wrote this after doing some research on a plant for a Biology course I was taking. The life cycle of a water lily is a beautiful one. And though I believe that poems about this plant have already been written and adored by many, I did want to put My own spin on it. So I hope You enjoy. God bless

Jan 2019 · 400
I Will Not Lament The Cold
Carl Miller Jan 2019
I will not lament the cold
It's embrace, biting and mighty
A long drawn sigh from the Giant's mouth
Begins a tale so loved and so old

Her mind was innocent, whimsical and young
When the story took life with the old Giant's tongue
A little stone house, it's path guarded with snow
With a little creek frozen over, not an ebb, nor a floe

Yet a heart of heavy iron did reside in his chest
With darkened, old memories He did long to forget
Those tired, warm eyes cried cold, frozen tears
When that biting, mighty frost came through
That to his only beloved son laid rest
Written 17/12/18

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