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164 · Oct 2019
Video Game
Ruheen Oct 2019
Game on
Man down
Sleep tight
You're out

You start
The trap
You lose
They laugh

They shoot
You run
You shoot
They run

Right hook
Uppercut
They dodge
You duck

Play smart
Play safe
Not hard
It's a game

Wrong move
One life
All you get
Then you die

But at least in a game
You can press restart
And try all over again
I don't play video games, not that much.
164 · Mar 2019
A Lie
Ruheen Mar 2019
A lie will never become the truth.
And that is true to some extent.
However, to a person who does not know it is a lie,
For them it is the truth.
And if you believe enough in a lie,
It may start to become a reality.
Not all lies, but some.
Nevertheless, a lie will always remain a lie.
Even if one does not know it.
Something to think about.
See?
This is how good I am at lying.
164 · Apr 2019
A Puzzle
Ruheen Apr 2019
A puzzle isn't complete without all its pieces.
Just like how my soul isn't complete without you.
Could be about a person or something worse. Said it before, saying it again.
164 · Feb 2020
Sacrifice
Ruheen Feb 2020
That's nice
Please run
I'm not gonna lose
Anyone anymore
Cause I don't want
To die alone
I want someone
Next to me
On my death bed
It's selfish
I know
I'm a hypocrite
I'd give up anything
But I won't even live
I'm sorry
It's too much
One and now me
But I'm not even
Supposed to breathe
Six feet under
Dust
Or shadows
Clouds
Or shallows
You didn't ask me to
You didn't have to
I didn’t want
To bury you
So I'm going to let you
Bury me too

No one ever said sacrifice was easy to do
No sacrifice is ever a gift. Not in the long-run anyway.

This is for every book, movie, or tv show, that kills off a character, to save another. They sacrifice that character.

I hate it sometimes. Other times I laugh. Once I screamed. Twice I've cheered.
161 · Jan 2019
Earth Is Home
Ruheen Jan 2019
Who are we really?
We walk around this world with no purpose,
Destroying it with our every move.
Do you know why we're here?
Or what we were sent here for?
I don't know why we are here,
Or why we even exist.
All I know is that it certainly wasn't to ruin the home we were so freely given.
...
160 · Aug 2024
lyricism
Ruheen Aug 2024
i lack the lyricism
they all expect
me to have when
i'm feeling miserable
and can't confess
with my tongue
but instead
have to express
in writing
because it's best
to have an outlet
so you don't
regress
into patterns
you thought
you left and
disregard the
feelings you
expelled
because they
haven't disappeared
and are merely
suppressed
and then i
ask myself
*"what the **** am i doing?"
160 · Sep 2019
Mortality
Ruheen Sep 2019
A short life, but adventurous, nonetheless.
Die young, in a mysterious way,
When your body is still beautiful.

Your mind is still remembered.
What is that, if not immortality?
Your eyes dead, but your breath still lingering.

Most of us die,
Our existence shoved into a drawer.
As bright as we may have been.

Our fires are put out.
The pages shred.
Our dreams, our spirit, scattered.

Mortality runs in all our veins,
We are all subject to death,
But not all death is permanent.

After all, most of us
Are only mortals,
Simply wishing for immortality.

Something we know we won't have.
"One tends to die young, and then they burn your body - dust to dust, in the literal sense. And then we vanish into the shadows of history, nary a mark on the page of a mundane book to remind the world that once we existed at all."
                                                                      - Clockwork Angel, Will Herondale

"That's immortality, my darlings."  - Pretty Little Liars, Alison Dilaurentis
160 · May 2022
Strangers Again
Ruheen May 2022
We said hello in passing
Laughed with each other in groups
One day, there would be five between us
And I couldn't meet your eyes
Then it became three
And then only one
Then our knees were pressed together
Then your hand slipped into mine
And I could feel you laugh
Your voice rang in my ears
And mine in yours
But slowly your fingers lost their grip
Or maybe mine did
Our hands fell
Someone sled in between us
Then it became three
Then it was five
And suddenly we were strangers again
Who laughed with each other in groups
Who only said hello in passing
Friendly, maybe even friends
But not quite the same.
just an observation
159 · Jan 2020
It's All The Same
Ruheen Jan 2020
I'm very good at being left out
Either that or
I'm just very good at shutting people out
Pushing them away
Till they're so far over the edge
And I can't pull them back
Either that or
They hide behind walls
So I can't see them or hear them
And I know it's my fault
I can't tell the difference
What matters is that it hurts
And I know
I know, I can do something
But I know
I know I'm too scared
Because I know
I know
Nothing will change
Left out
Or shut out
It's all the same.
You're gonna get a lot of sad poems for a bit.
159 · Feb 2020
I Sleep In The Darkness
Ruheen Feb 2020
~

i sleep in the darkness
and i don't mean when i turn out the lights
and i can't see anything

i sleep in the darkness
i mean when i'm in my head
and its pitch black
and i can't see anything

i sleep in the darkness
and i don't mean when i turn out the lights
and bump into my bed
i mean when i'm in my head

i sleep in the darkness
i hear the voices
through the walls
throughs the doors
i hear them scream
even when there's nothing

i sleep in the darkness
i see the pitch-black curtains
wide open
but i can't see anything
cause its dark

i sleep in the darkness
but i probably shouldn't
'cause i'm afraid of the dark
and what lies within

i sleep in the darkness
i'm scared
but im not
yet.


~
I can't sleep with the light.
159 · Sep 2019
Uncomfortable
Ruheen Sep 2019
I feel like peeling off my skin.
I can't seem to shake off the tension
In my shoulders,
My neck,
My hands.
So why not just take it all off?
Shed a layer of my skin,
Become someone new.
Maybe then I'll be comfortable again.
I'm probably just tired.
159 · Dec 2018
Lost and Found
Ruheen Dec 2018
Some things stay lost
Because they don't want to be found.
Other things stay lost
Because there's no one's looking for them
I'm lost,
And I want to be found.
But no one knows,
So no one's looking.
.
158 · Jan 2019
I Wish Someone Knew
Ruheen Jan 2019
I wish someone knew.
Knew how I felt.
I've gotten so good at lying about how I feel.
No one knows and it's so easy.
It's so easy becoming a person I know I'm not.
So easy letting people believe that I trust them.
They think I'm so happy.
I've tried telling them that I'm not,
But they don't believe me.
That's how good I am.
I wish someone could see
Me crying myself to sleep.
I wish they knew
That the person I write about
Is me.
I wish. For once I didn't have to try so hard when writing. I didn't even know what I was writing until I was finished.
157 · Mar 2019
My Last Breath
Ruheen Mar 2019
Far from death

Close to death

At last, death

Nothing left

Not innocent

I deserve it

Far from death

Close to death

My last breath
Can you guess what I'm going to say about this?
HINT: I say it a lot. In almost all of my poems. Just three words.
157 · Sep 2019
Identity 2
Ruheen Sep 2019
Let them be brave
Alone in the dark

I'd rather be saved
Than broken apart

I save you
You save me
But you leave
I stay

I'd rather feel
Than be numb

I'd rather be known
Than just loved
Second one.
Or the third one.
I didn't really like the second one.
156 · Nov 2021
Let Go
Ruheen Nov 2021
We've been drowning for a long time
We're already under
Just holding our breaths
And we really want to let go
They should've noticed
Should have acknowledged it
It's all so poetic: death
Talking about it
Explaining it plainly:
A statement; a confession
And no one ever believes it
Well, now we're dead
So they have no choice
We took in the water:
We let go.
155 · Oct 2019
Casket
Ruheen Oct 2019
Not a coffin,
A little more elegant.
A little more stylish.
But it still holds a body all the same.
Metaphor. Sort of.
155 · Aug 2019
Stop
Ruheen Aug 2019
I stopped asking a long time ago.
What should I do?
Where do I go?

I stopped playing the game a while ago.
How do you win?
What do you know?

I stopped staring some time ago.
Should I look away?
Or let them know?

I stopped running just days ago.
Do I keep going?
Should I lie low?

I stopped time and time again.
I chose to stop back then.
Now I choose to start again.
Pfft. Whatever.
154 · Aug 2024
Happier Times
Ruheen Aug 2024
Those were the happier times
Moments where I felt alive
Sad days, slow days
Muddled in between
Those happier times

Where I lied through my teeth
To get between you and me
When I spoke in cursive
And told you to hurt me
So you wouldn't know
If it was me to blame
For the games you played

Those happier times
Where we couldn't tell
If we were sad and confused
Or elated as hell
Would be
If it met me

Those were the happier times
Where I could remember your face
Without wanting to
Jump off a cliff
I'm backkk. I wanted to come back a long while ago but my account wasn't working or something. I was locked out. Regardless. Here you goo.
154 · Apr 2019
Poison
Ruheen Apr 2019
quick
painless
tasteless
wait
actually
nevermind
tastes like death
short and bitter
153 · Aug 2018
Sometimes
Ruheen Aug 2018
Sometimes
You can't wait for other people to save you.
Sometimes
You have to be your own hero.
Sometimes
You have to save yourself.
Don't wait for others to stand up for you. You have your own voice. Use it.
152 · Sep 2019
Identity 1
Ruheen Sep 2019
Let them be harsh,
as society cannot exist with calm.
They prefer downpours of anger, not peace.

I’d rather be dead,
latching onto whatever piece of humanity
that is left.

That warmth that I once felt,
in the arms of my people, is now gone,
replaced by an icy death,
cold cascading down my back.
Those words, that were once imprisoned, by the angel on their shoulders,
do they leak through like water in a dam?
or is just a flood of things that could no longer be contained.

I’d rather be air and dust, than
lurk in the shadows, a shadow myself.
Watching the world tear at its hinges,
pulling close the curtains of humility,
has darkened the lights of their souls.
I don’t want to remember the world, why let it remember me?

I’d rather love no one and be loved by no one else,
for remembrance seems to cause pain.
I’d rather be forgotten, or better yet, erased.
We had to write poems following the structure of the poem 'Identity' by Julio Noboa Polanco.
I wrote mine and also wrote for three other people.
At least they turned out good.
149 · Mar 2020
A Tired Girl's Heart
Ruheen Mar 2020
You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
And you can help fix it.
Give it something
So that it has more energy.
So that it can feel more.
She can't feel with her head.
It's too direct.
Too predictable.
But she's too tired to fix things.
She just wants to sleep,
Before her mind overloads,
And there's nothing left.
She's tired of using her mind,
But she doesn't care.
So take it.
Take her heart,
She doesn't use it anyway.
Haven't done one of these in a while.
I liked this series.
147 · Aug 2019
The Trolley Problem
Ruheen Aug 2019
I asked my friend.
"Me or five strangers?"
She would **** me.
My friend asked me.
"Her or five strangers?"
I wouldn't **** her.

I asked her why.
"The greater good."
She asked me why.
I just smiled.
And walked away.

Sad, isn't it?
What would you do?
146 · Sep 2019
I've Lost It
Ruheen Sep 2019
I need to go to sleep.
Otherwise, I will lose my mind.
.
.
.
Wait, nevermind.
Already lost it.
Burning the midnight oil, why not?
145 · May 2019
Not About Love
Ruheen May 2019
I won't write about love,
Nor will I speak about it.
I won't try to understand it either.
Neither will I try to understand those in love.
For I have never felt love,
And I will not pretend to know what it feels like.
I won't act like I know what it is.
For all I know,
It could be as painful as a bullet through the heart,
As sweet as chocolate covered strawberries,
Or as strange as snow in the summer.
So this poem.
This is not about love,
But about not writing about
What I think love is.
I am so sick of people judging other people in love. They're pretending like they know everything about love as if they've ever been in love. You can't judge what you don't know. You can't know what you've never felt. You can't feel what you've never had.
143 · Jul 2018
Scars
Ruheen Jul 2018
I closed the door.
I opened old wounds.
My mistakes left marks.

Bit my tongue,
But only once.
Now I’m left in the dark.

I closed my eyes,
And turned away.
Look at me, I’m covered in scars.

You can fix it,
But you can't forget it.
There will always be something
To make you remember.
You'll always be left with a scar.
143 · Dec 2018
Human
Ruheen Dec 2018
Human nature is what makes us human -

Human nature is a bunch of characteristics.
Characteristics that include ways of thinking, feeling and acting,
Which humans have naturally.
It can lead to many things, both good and bad.

Is this what being a human is?

Fear, anger, love.
They aren’t weaknesses.
Without emotion,
We would just be empty shells of things that look like people.
Our thoughts,
Even the silliest ones,
Can lead to something big.
Every thought is important.
Our mistakes
Form us into who we’re meant to be.
Without mistakes,
We would never learn.

What does it really mean to be human?

To be human means having and showing emotion.
To be human means having the freedom of being whomever.
To be human means to accept all that you are.
To be human means to love and live freely.

Human nature. Being human. It makes us who we are.
Couldn't find the right inspiration. That's why I haven't been posting much. Didn't know what to write. I guess now I do. I think.
141 · Nov 2018
I'm Counting Down
Ruheen Nov 2018
I'm counting down.
Only 10 seconds left.

10

Here he comes,

9

Holding a gun.

8

He tells me to choose.

7

I choose.

6

I feel the gun against my head,

5

And the knife against my neck.

4

I wait.

3

2

1

He doesn't shoot.
But I cut.
Based on a dream I had. Don't know what goes on in my head. Wish I did.
140 · Jun 2020
Throat
Ruheen Jun 2020
your voice gets caught in your throat;
and it burns
burns
burns
cause the fire in your
words
needs to
escape
then you take in
the air
and the oxygen
is there
and it dies down
but the embers light up
again
so you
gulp
gulp
gulp
hoping to quench
your thirst
and the words
that hiss against
your teeth
make them rattle
and shake
but end up burning
your tongue
instead
oh no.
what can you do
but let them
blow you up?
cause the
right time
is the
wrong time
and the
wrong time
becomes the
right time
and everything
just
slips
away
as you
scream
the fire's gone;
the embers too
so why does it
feel like
you
still
need
to
Clear
Your
Throat?
...
139 · Jan 2020
I'm Wasting Your Time
Ruheen Jan 2020
Say goodbye to the night

And the words of goodbye

I'm not staying.

And I'm taking the night

So you can have the light

Stop waiting.

Just make it all right

I don't want to cry

I'll be praying.

Please stop wasting
Your time.
...
137 · Jan 2019
Why?
Ruheen Jan 2019
Some questions can never be answered.
Only because no one knows the answer.
Others cannot be answered because an answer does not exist.
Whereas, some questions do not need an answer at all.
It's a funny thing, a question.
So many different answers, yet even more reasons as to why there is no answer.
Just a thought I had while asking a question
136 · Mar 2019
Just Another Number
Ruheen Mar 2019
It's just another number.

Just another day.

In years, I may be older,

But I'm still the same.

It's just another number.

I couldn't care less.

Just like yesterday,

I'm still a broken mess.
I'm 13 now. Yay?
136 · Feb 2019
I'M FINE
Ruheen Feb 2019
breathe.
it isn't real.
do not cry.
wake up.
control.
don't scream.
keep it yourself.
you're awake.
just a dream.
pain.
it doesn't hurt.
scars, marks, wounds.
deep cuts.
not bleeding.
compartmentalize.
don't be scared.
lost.
scattered thoughts.
hide it.
please.
I'M FINE.
What I tell myself. I thought, maybe if I say it or write it down enough, I'll start to believe it.
So far nothing.
135 · Jan 2019
Regression To The Mean
Ruheen Jan 2019
All good things must come to an end.
But all bad things should too.
There will always be a balance.
.
134 · Sep 2018
Under the Water
Ruheen Sep 2018
Under the water
No one is watching.
Under the water
I'm not afraid.

Everything is so much quieter
When I'm under the water.
A thought I had while I was swimming in the water. It was so peaceful. I wish it was like that all the time. But I guess not.
131 · Jan 2020
Here We Go Again
Ruheen Jan 2020
I know it won't get much better,
But at least it can't any worse,
Right?
2020 everybody.
130 · Feb 2019
Fix Me
Ruheen Feb 2019
Already
Begging
On my knees
I'm pleading
Please
Just Please
Help me
Fix me
.
129 · Jan 2019
Peace
Ruheen Jan 2019
You want peace?
Hate to break it to you, but,
You'll have to **** every human
On this Earth,
For that to happen.
And maybe you should.
Maybe we deserve to die.
We do more harm than good
Anyway.
***** human beings.
129 · Jul 2018
Scared
Ruheen Jul 2018
I said I wasn’t afraid
You said you’d never leave
But we both lied
When I was scared
You comforted me
So at least you tried
When I faced my fears
You got up and left me
And I sat down and cried
126 · Sep 2018
Remember
Ruheen Sep 2018
Remember those times
I had cried on your shoulders.
Do you remember?
126 · Jan 2019
Our Voices
Ruheen Jan 2019
If our voices are such powerful tools, then why don't we use them?
And when we do, why do we use them for the worst?
I'm in Kenya right now, for an MUN conference, and this is what the guest speaker was talking about. He was talking about how we were capable of changing the world with just our voices. Thought of this while he was using his.
125 · Mar 2019
Opinions...
Ruheen Mar 2019
Well, it looks like my opinion doesn't matter.
Oh, wait. I already knew that.
Because it never does.
*sigh* I hate being around people who debate over stupid things.
More like....
I just hate being around people. Period.
Yeah, that's better.
124 · Feb 2019
Just A Question
Ruheen Feb 2019
Why are humans so flipping over-dramatic all the time?
No, seriously, why?
Edit: Can someone please answer? I really want to know why.
124 · Aug 2020
CrAZy
Ruheen Aug 2020
Why did madness become a disease?
Somehow crazy got locked up in a cell
When really
They should lock up
Sanity instead
'Cause these days
All of the
Hypocrites
Liars
Politicians
And their friends
All of the
People who fall
Of the roof
And their beds
All of the
Stars taking pictures
In their cells
Are the ones we call sane
At least that's what the internet says.
And these days
The crazy
In solitary
Could run the world
May not be much of a difference.
'Cause these days
Crazy is the trend.
Crazy seems to make
Much more sense.
...
124 · Feb 2019
Framed
Ruheen Feb 2019
I'm not going to apologize to you.
I'm not going to apologize for something I didn't do.
A mistake,
That I didn't make.
...
124 · Aug 2018
I Want To Scream
Ruheen Aug 2018
I want to scream at the top of my lungs,
But I can't.
There's just something holding me back.
No matter how much you tell me to......I just won't be able to do it.
123 · Aug 2024
Space
Ruheen Aug 2024
there is an empty space
i'm just not sure I'm allowed to take it

i will stare at it wondering
then turn away hesitant

when i finally gain the courage
someone will have taken my place
123 · Jan 2019
I Saw A Mirror
Ruheen Jan 2019
I saw a mirror.
It was cracked.
From side to side.
And front and back.
~
I saw a mirror.
It had captured.
My reflection.
Left it shattered.
~
I saw a mirror.
It's pieces scattered.
Bad luck?
It doesn't matter.
Well....it is what it is.
122 · Aug 2018
Forgotten
Ruheen Aug 2018
I want to forget
The mistakes I’ve made,
But no one else does.
Instead
I’m the one
Who ends up
Forgotten.
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