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127 · Oct 2019
Persuasion
Ruheen Oct 2019
An ache
in your chest
Like losing a
limb
When
they find
What they find
Your hands
fall to your side
Your legs give out
under you
You close your
eyes
Trying to erase
all you've seen
Don't want 'em
to know what
you've seen
In a moment of weakness,
you let 'em check
under your hood
In a moment of weakness,
you plead with
your eyes
For mercy
You said too much
Now you better
hurry
Think before
you do
And if you
do it
Don't really
do it
Fix your
slip up
Don't let it
slip up
Stoic, blank
Keep it straight
Say all the
right things
Hope and pray
They can't see
right through
Right through you
And what you
know you do
The other way
Dissuade
But
Keep it simple
No complications
It's simple
Easy
Just a little persuasion.
Something happened to HP or maybe my laptop, but I couldn't post anything. Nothing would save and so I lost some of my work.

Anyway, when you want someone to believe anything but the truth.
Not really lying, just a little persuasion.
126 · Dec 2018
Lost and Found
Ruheen Dec 2018
Some things stay lost
Because they don't want to be found.
Other things stay lost
Because there's no one's looking for them
I'm lost,
And I want to be found.
But no one knows,
So no one's looking.
.
126 · Sep 2019
I've Lost It
Ruheen Sep 2019
I need to go to sleep.
Otherwise, I will lose my mind.
.
.
.
Wait, nevermind.
Already lost it.
Burning the midnight oil, why not?
125 · Nov 2018
I'm Counting Down
Ruheen Nov 2018
I'm counting down.
Only 10 seconds left.

10

Here he comes,

9

Holding a gun.

8

He tells me to choose.

7

I choose.

6

I feel the gun against my head,

5

And the knife against my neck.

4

I wait.

3

2

1

He doesn't shoot.
But I cut.
Based on a dream I had. Don't know what goes on in my head. Wish I did.
123 · Jan 2020
I'm Wasting Your Time
Ruheen Jan 2020
Say goodbye to the night

And the words of goodbye

I'm not staying.

And I'm taking the night

So you can have the light

Stop waiting.

Just make it all right

I don't want to cry

I'll be praying.

Please stop wasting
Your time.
...
122 · Jan 2019
Regression To The Mean
Ruheen Jan 2019
All good things must come to an end.
But all bad things should too.
There will always be a balance.
.
122 · Jan 2019
Why?
Ruheen Jan 2019
Some questions can never be answered.
Only because no one knows the answer.
Others cannot be answered because an answer does not exist.
Whereas, some questions do not need an answer at all.
It's a funny thing, a question.
So many different answers, yet even more reasons as to why there is no answer.
Just a thought I had while asking a question
120 · Mar 2019
Just Another Number
Ruheen Mar 2019
It's just another number.

Just another day.

In years, I may be older,

But I'm still the same.

It's just another number.

I couldn't care less.

Just like yesterday,

I'm still a broken mess.
I'm 13 now. Yay?
120 · May 2019
Not About Love
Ruheen May 2019
I won't write about love,
Nor will I speak about it.
I won't try to understand it either.
Neither will I try to understand those in love.
For I have never felt love,
And I will not pretend to know what it feels like.
I won't act like I know what it is.
For all I know,
It could be as painful as a bullet through the heart,
As sweet as chocolate covered strawberries,
Or as strange as snow in the summer.
So this poem.
This is not about love,
But about not writing about
What I think love is.
I am so sick of people judging other people in love. They're pretending like they know everything about love as if they've ever been in love. You can't judge what you don't know. You can't know what you've never felt. You can't feel what you've never had.
119 · Apr 2019
The Right To Be Human
Ruheen Apr 2019
What is the point of human rights if we don't acknowledge the fact that people have them?
As soon as you're born, you have them. Simply because you're human.
But acting human is a whole different thing.
Humans aren't machines.
We shouldn't be controlled.
People cannot tell us whether we deserve those rights or not, even if we don't.
In the end, we still have them.
But what's the point if we're not respected for having them?
Maybe it depends on an individual person.
We may think that someone doesn't deserve any rights, but they think that they do.
They may think that we don't deserve them, but we think that we do.
But when you think about it, our 'worth' is what decides if we 'deserve' to have rights or not.
It's almost like an unspoken rule;
Popularity triumphs all.
And though there are exceptions, that 'rule' still exists.
Popularity, money, fame.
Things that can vanish within a matter of time.
Our lives?
Not the same.
We all have the right to be human.
We can't choose not to be human,
But we can choose to be a good or bad one.
People violate human rights day-to-day, right in front of us.
And we just sit and watch.
We're bystanders.
And, honestly?
That's worse than being the violator.
Inspired by something I read.
There are 30 articles. 30 rights. We all have them. And they cannot be taken away.
Bullying, discrimination, false accusations. All of these violate at least 3 or 4 articles. And this happens every single day.
Human Rights is probably the most ironic things humans have ever created.
What's the point? Seriously?! I mean, why create something that isn't even going to be acknowledged?!
More people know about osmosis that they do about human rights, something that they've had since the day they were born. (Probably an exaggeration, but you get what I mean!)
I'm pretty sure the United Nations isn't happy with how things have turned out.

*lets out a long breath*
*sighs*
*smiles sheepishly*

Anyway, sorry for the long rant. Enjoy?
119 · Mar 2020
A Tired Girl's Heart
Ruheen Mar 2020
You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
And you can help fix it.
Give it something
So that it has more energy.
So that it can feel more.
She can't feel with her head.
It's too direct.
Too predictable.
But she's too tired to fix things.
She just wants to sleep,
Before her mind overloads,
And there's nothing left.
She's tired of using her mind,
But she doesn't care.
So take it.
Take her heart,
She doesn't use it anyway.
Haven't done one of these in a while.
I liked this series.
119 · Jan 2020
Cause & Effect
Ruheen Jan 2020
Water sticks to the sides.
A little push
And it falls.

Letters that go out at night.
A little slip
And it's gone.

Ropes that fray at the ends.
A little pull
And nothing.

Pencils that are too sharp.
A little pressure
And it breaks.

People that are close to the edge.
A little shove
And they disappear.
Makes sense. I think.
119 · Aug 2018
Sometimes
Ruheen Aug 2018
Sometimes
You can't wait for other people to save you.
Sometimes
You have to be your own hero.
Sometimes
You have to save yourself.
Don't wait for others to stand up for you. You have your own voice. Use it.
119 · Oct 2019
Casket
Ruheen Oct 2019
Not a coffin,
A little more elegant.
A little more stylish.
But it still holds a body all the same.
Metaphor. Sort of.
119 · Sep 2018
Under the Water
Ruheen Sep 2018
Under the water
No one is watching.
Under the water
I'm not afraid.

Everything is so much quieter
When I'm under the water.
A thought I had while I was swimming in the water. It was so peaceful. I wish it was like that all the time. But I guess not.
118 · Feb 2020
Am I Okay?
Ruheen Feb 2020
Am I okay?
You keep asking
I keep saying
The same thing

I don't know anymore

I'm spiralling
And then I'm calm
And then I don't know
Again

In a hurricane
Stuck in the middles
Everything's rushing
Around me
And I can't think about it

I'm spiralling
And then I can breathe again
But not for long
'Cause then I don't know again

I don't know anymore

Am I okay?
You keep asking
I keep saying
The same **** thing

So am I okay?
You tell me
How do I feel?
Because
You do it anyway.

Am I okay?
Are we okay?
Are any of us,
Ever okay?
Tell me now,
So I can practice
Not being okay.
Um...yeah...ok
116 · Feb 2019
I'M FINE
Ruheen Feb 2019
breathe.
it isn't real.
do not cry.
wake up.
control.
don't scream.
keep it yourself.
you're awake.
just a dream.
pain.
it doesn't hurt.
scars, marks, wounds.
deep cuts.
not bleeding.
compartmentalize.
don't be scared.
lost.
scattered thoughts.
hide it.
please.
I'M FINE.
What I tell myself. I thought, maybe if I say it or write it down enough, I'll start to believe it.
So far nothing.
116 · Mar 2019
Hyperventilating
Ruheen Mar 2019
Hyperventilating
My hands are shaking
Rapid breathing
My body's seizing

Shallow breaths
Not cold, but I'm trembling
I can't stop
I keep worrying

Hyperventilating
My heart's racing
Throat constricting
My eyes are watering

Anxiety
Exhaling, not inhaling
My fears
Keeping it in, I'm hiding

Hyperventilating
I feel like I'm falling
I can't help but feeling
Like my world is crumbling
Eh.
116 · Jun 2020
Throat
Ruheen Jun 2020
your voice gets caught in your throat;
and it burns
burns
burns
cause the fire in your
words
needs to
escape
then you take in
the air
and the oxygen
is there
and it dies down
but the embers light up
again
so you
gulp
gulp
gulp
hoping to quench
your thirst
and the words
that hiss against
your teeth
make them rattle
and shake
but end up burning
your tongue
instead
oh no.
what can you do
but let them
blow you up?
cause the
right time
is the
wrong time
and the
wrong time
becomes the
right time
and everything
just
slips
away
as you
scream
the fire's gone;
the embers too
so why does it
feel like
you
still
need
to
Clear
Your
Throat?
...
114 · Feb 2019
Just A Question
Ruheen Feb 2019
Why are humans so flipping over-dramatic all the time?
No, seriously, why?
Edit: Can someone please answer? I really want to know why.
113 · Dec 2020
That Night
Ruheen Dec 2020
He died that day.
That man.
I may have gone there to **** him,
And I may have wanted him to die,
But he died
Because he fell upon my sword.
Willingly.
He died.
But I wished he hadn't.
I wanted him to live a little longer
So he could see me burn down his kingdom
And all the people in it.
And then
I would have killed him.
That night.
112 · Jul 2018
Scared
Ruheen Jul 2018
I said I wasn’t afraid
You said you’d never leave
But we both lied
When I was scared
You comforted me
So at least you tried
When I faced my fears
You got up and left me
And I sat down and cried
112 · Jan 2019
Peace
Ruheen Jan 2019
You want peace?
Hate to break it to you, but,
You'll have to **** every human
On this Earth,
For that to happen.
And maybe you should.
Maybe we deserve to die.
We do more harm than good
Anyway.
***** human beings.
110 · May 2022
Strangers Again
Ruheen May 2022
We said hello in passing
Laughed with each other in groups
One day, there would be five between us
And I couldn't meet your eyes
Then it became three
And then only one
Then our knees were pressed together
Then your hand slipped into mine
And I could feel you laugh
Your voice rang in my ears
And mine in yours
But slowly your fingers lost their grip
Or maybe mine did
Our hands fell
Someone sled in between us
Then it became three
Then it was five
And suddenly we were strangers again
Who laughed with each other in groups
Who only said hello in passing
Friendly, maybe even friends
But not quite the same.
just an observation
110 · Jan 2020
Here We Go Again
Ruheen Jan 2020
I know it won't get much better,
But at least it can't any worse,
Right?
2020 everybody.
108 · Aug 2018
I Want To Scream
Ruheen Aug 2018
I want to scream at the top of my lungs,
But I can't.
There's just something holding me back.
No matter how much you tell me to......I just won't be able to do it.
108 · Oct 2018
Who Am I?
Ruheen Oct 2018
Who am I?
Am I the person everyone thinks I am?
Or am I the person I write about?
It's at times like these
When I am truly lost.
This speaks for itself.


.
108 · Jan 2019
Our Voices
Ruheen Jan 2019
If our voices are such powerful tools, then why don't we use them?
And when we do, why do we use them for the worst?
I'm in Kenya right now, for an MUN conference, and this is what the guest speaker was talking about. He was talking about how we were capable of changing the world with just our voices. Thought of this while he was using his.
107 · Jun 2019
Life - The Movies
Ruheen Jun 2019
Life is like a movie.
You have the opening credits,
Which usually make you smile.
Then comes the characters.
The funny one.
The smart one.
The weird one.
Next comes the story.
Tumbling out with all its problems.
But there comes a time
When you have to pause.
Just to take a break
Because things became too much.
Your problems are overwhelming.
Other people's are too.
And for some reason,
You always seem to care.
You'll have to play again.
But you want a reminder
Of what happened before.
You want a moment to reminisce.
So, you press rewind.
You get lost in the memories,
Sometimes wishing
You could change things.
Erase your mistakes,
Even though you know you can't.
The past is the past.
All you can do is move forward.
You press play
And your life continues.
You don't know what's coming,
And you can't fast forward.
It's live.
You'll just have to wait and see,
As the rest of the story unfurls itself.
Watch the twists and turns,
A few bumps here and there,
And most importantly,
How all the characters overcome
Every single challenge.
But like every movie,
This one called Life,
Comes to an end too.
You've recorded everything.
So you can pause, play, rewind, or forward,
Anytime you want.
But first, you have to watch the end credits.
As the song of their life plays
Softly in the background.
And as they thank everyone for everything.
Soon, the movie will be buried,
Under a pile of dust,
In an old attic somewhere.
Just like their coffin,
Buried six feet underground,
In an old graveyard somewhere.
Their story is over.
The movie has ended.
You cried a little,
Laughed a little.
Maybe you even got angry,
Because it ended too soon.
However,
New movies are made.
New lives begin.
More memories to deal with,
We start all over again.
Fresh tears, laughter and anger.
More pain, problems and characters.
A new story.
Part of the same series, though;
Life - The Movies.
Wow. This is long.
:)
107 · Aug 2019
The Trolley Problem
Ruheen Aug 2019
I asked my friend.
"Me or five strangers?"
She would **** me.
My friend asked me.
"Her or five strangers?"
I wouldn't **** her.

I asked her why.
"The greater good."
She asked me why.
I just smiled.
And walked away.

Sad, isn't it?
What would you do?
106 · Jul 2018
Scars
Ruheen Jul 2018
I closed the door.
I opened old wounds.
My mistakes left marks.

Bit my tongue,
But only once.
Now I’m left in the dark.

I closed my eyes,
And turned away.
Look at me, I’m covered in scars.

You can fix it,
But you can't forget it.
There will always be something
To make you remember.
You'll always be left with a scar.
106 · Mar 2019
Opinions...
Ruheen Mar 2019
Well, it looks like my opinion doesn't matter.
Oh, wait. I already knew that.
Because it never does.
*sigh* I hate being around people who debate over stupid things.
More like....
I just hate being around people. Period.
Yeah, that's better.
106 · Nov 2021
Let Go
Ruheen Nov 2021
We've been drowning for a long time
We're already under
Just holding our breaths
And we really want to let go
They should've noticed
Should have acknowledged it
It's all so poetic: death
Talking about it
Explaining it plainly:
A statement; a confession
And no one ever believes it
Well, now we're dead
So they have no choice
We took in the water:
We let go.
105 · Jan 2019
I Saw A Mirror
Ruheen Jan 2019
I saw a mirror.
It was cracked.
From side to side.
And front and back.
~
I saw a mirror.
It had captured.
My reflection.
Left it shattered.
~
I saw a mirror.
It's pieces scattered.
Bad luck?
It doesn't matter.
Well....it is what it is.
104 · Sep 2018
Remember
Ruheen Sep 2018
Remember those times
I had cried on your shoulders.
Do you remember?
103 · Feb 2019
Framed
Ruheen Feb 2019
I'm not going to apologize to you.
I'm not going to apologize for something I didn't do.
A mistake,
That I didn't make.
...
103 · Aug 2018
Forgotten
Ruheen Aug 2018
I want to forget
The mistakes I’ve made,
But no one else does.
Instead
I’m the one
Who ends up
Forgotten.
102 · Feb 2019
Fix Me
Ruheen Feb 2019
Already
Begging
On my knees
I'm pleading
Please
Just Please
Help me
Fix me
.
100 · Aug 13
silent competition
Ruheen Aug 13
I don't care enough about me
Or you
Or why the world spins
I can't even sleep
And somehow you think
That I'm hanging
Onto your every word
You are my muse
And I'm a flighty bird
With no direction
And listen
I understand
You love the attention
The gazing
The movie star treatment
And inspiration
Is hard to come by
So take what you need
I'll gladly concede
But leave me
Out of your dreams
I must be
Out of my mind
No that's you
I'm alright
100 · Aug 2018
No Reply
Ruheen Aug 2018
Do you hear that?
It's silence.
Can you see that?
It's nothing.

It was once there.
I could see it.
And when I called out
It always answered.

I know it's still there.
Even thought I can't see it.
But when I call out
There's no reply.
98 · Feb 2019
Just A Little Advice
Ruheen Feb 2019
BREATHE.
Best piece of advice there is.
97 · Aug 2020
CrAZy
Ruheen Aug 2020
Why did madness become a disease?
Somehow crazy got locked up in a cell
When really
They should lock up
Sanity instead
'Cause these days
All of the
Hypocrites
Liars
Politicians
And their friends
All of the
People who fall
Of the roof
And their beds
All of the
Stars taking pictures
In their cells
Are the ones we call sane
At least that's what the internet says.
And these days
The crazy
In solitary
Could run the world
May not be much of a difference.
'Cause these days
Crazy is the trend.
Crazy seems to make
Much more sense.
...
97 · Dec 2018
CONFUSED
Ruheen Dec 2018
Millions of thoughts, fighting in my head.
Which will I pick, to move ahead.
Words spilling, through my mouth.
Neither soft, nor loud.
No order, just my feelings,
Which, through my fingers, are leaking.
Yet I am still stuck, in the depths of my soul.
I'm writing, but I'm losing control.
Digging my nails into my palm,
I'm trying to breath and stay calm.
I open my hand and see the scars,
There's blood trickling down my arm.
Now I have an idea, at least I think I do,
But then again, maybe it's better I stay confused.
I don't know. Been saying that a lot lately. Make what you want of this.
90 · Sep 2018
Never - Ending Words
Ruheen Sep 2018
I have lived many lives
I have escaped many times
Through the power of words

I have shed many tears
I have shared many fears
With the tales I've held in my hand

I have laughed many days
I have rejoiced many ways
Because of the emotions I've felt

I have waited many hours
I have wasted many thoughts
Just to let the ending sink in

But a real book never truly ends
The people never really leave
As for that to happen
Readers would have to not believe
This kinda explains how sometimes books are all we have. They're fantasies. They're an escape. Sometimes living someone else's life is better than living your own. Sometimes we need it.
90 · Sep 2018
The Pain Is Gone.
Ruheen Sep 2018
Closed eyes,
Lost mind,
Bleeding heart,
Empty soul,
Open wounds,
Dark rooms,
Locked doors,

The pain is gone.
87 · Sep 2019
Identity 3
Ruheen Sep 2019
Let them hurt
I hurt too

I'd rather be framed
For what I didn't do

Than run and hide
Because that isn't right
I hurt, I die
They hurt, they lie

I'd rather be nothing
Otherwise, I wouldn't be certain that

I'd rather feel pain
Because then I'd be human
Last one (Maybe, for now)
84 · Aug 2022
faith
Ruheen Aug 2022
i believe that if
i don't eat
three meals
a day
i'll feel better
about myself
it's
not
working
83 · Sep 2018
When We Die
Ruheen Sep 2018
When we die, our secrets die with us.
As do our sweet lies and bitter truths.
Somehow, to me this makes sense.
83 · Sep 2019
Identity 4
Ruheen Sep 2019
let them be stars
I'd rather be flying like a meteor

alone, but free
together, but stuck
lonely

I'd rather be far away, than close to home
I'd rather feel the wind in my hair

let me go
Didn't really like this one, but well...
Why not?
81 · Aug 13
lyricism
Ruheen Aug 13
i lack the lyricism
they all expect
me to have when
i'm feeling miserable
and can't confess
with my tongue
but instead
have to express
in writing
because it's best
to have an outlet
so you don't
regress
into patterns
you thought
you left and
disregard the
feelings you
expelled
because they
haven't disappeared
and are merely
suppressed
and then i
ask myself
*"what the **** am i doing?"
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