Why?
Did you think about the way
That that would hurt?
Of course not
But now it feels
Like you don't care
Like a million shards of glass
You don't care about us
You probably never have
And yet
You played the part so well
Making me like you
Doing all the right things
Making me lead myself on
You deceiving liar!
I knew I couldn't, but still!
I wanted you regardless
You were
Perfect.
Well, almost
Until I found out
That you had no loyalty
You didn't deserve
Me or her or them or us
You didn't deserve anyone
Good luck living with yourself
I almost hope you can't
But I know you'll find a way
Because you're great at lying
Especially to yourself

I may not know
Precisely where I'm going
And I'm not quite sure
If I'll make it there
But I am certain
That I want you there
Every step of the way
See, no one
Makes me feel
Alive
Like you.
I see the beautiful sky,
Hear the laughter
Of thousands of happy people,
Breathe in the fresh air
All because of you.
Without you,
The world would be a dark place.
I would never be
Truly
Living

We locked it
And threw away the key

But now I'm wishing
I hadn't made these promises

I didn't know
You weren't what you seemed

Until it was
Far too late

Until we locked it
And threw away the key

Crouching silently,
The hunter lies still
Barely a breath escapes
His agile body.
With the speed
Of a fierce lion
And the precision of
A skilled hawk
He spots his tiny prey

He watches
Using practiced patience
For the perfect moment
Then
It is done
As quickly as the hunt began
An arrow pierces it's target
Silent and quick

The hunter is successful
And the prey unaware
It was ever in scope

Sometimes I wonder
Is this like life?
Unaware until it is
Just
Too
Late.
Or am I in control,
Swiftly passing through?
I suppose it
Begs the question
Am I the hunter,
Or the hunted?

It is hard to say
Quite where my excitement begins
Seemingly deep inside,
The adrenaline pumps
Straight from my heart.
Intrinsic as it is,
This energy builds from the drums
And the power of the cadence
As it rolls off the rims
And pounds it's dissonant melody
Deep in to my core
The roar of a thousand bodies
United under a unanimous thought
A single goal
I nearly cannot contain
The passion building inside me
The crowd swaying me
To wish for exactly what they want
I am soon swept far away
Lost deep in the energy
Propelled by endless streams of
Enthusiasm
And loud cheers of affirmation
I cannot and will not turn back
I love being lost here
Inside this beautiful cacophony
Echoing cries of pure joy
And music raised to the stars
Underneath these Friday night lights

Oh, but you have broken my heart.

It's now in two halves,

And one belongs to you

I can't promise you
It will always be easy
I can't promise you
I'll always know what to do
I can't promise you
I have all the answers

But I can promise you
A lot more than that
I will hold your hand
When there's nothing else I can do
I will stand by you
Until I am ripped from your side
I will protect you
With all I am
I will defend you
Care for you
Encourage you
Cheer you up
I will always be ready
With a hug for when you're sad
And a kiss for when you're lonely

Nothing can keep us apart
No force on earth
Has the power to make me
Un-love you.
And so,
I won't.

I love you
With all of my heart
And I intend
To continue doing so
Until the end of time

I broke them
Those foolish walls
Guarding your most
Prized possession,
An item nearly
Within my reach-
But for the wall.
Now, it has left
The guard is down
No more lock and key
Just an open stretch of land.
I can see the end,
But feel as though
This is only the beginning.
The wall was merely
The first obstacle.
Through the fog
I can see the next.
Indecision, tension,
A heart so burdened
With things it had
Never
Released.
What lay beyond the wall
Was more than I had bargained
And more incredible
Than I could've ever fathomed
But it was all worth it,
All worth it for the one thing
I've wanted all along-
Your heart

Slowly and calmly
Down the brook
Floating silently as
An owl stalks it's prey
The quiet leaf
Fallen days before
Drifting
Drifting
Blown with the wind
Carried by the current
No place to be and
No time to be there
Perhaps this is the picture
Of true serenity
Peace and tranquility

Nothing but a leaf
A slow and gently moving
Leaf

How does it end?

               Did it even begin?

     There isn't a way

                                 I can't see a path

                   I just---

It's in those moments-
The ones where our eyes connect
And you smile
And I smile right back.
A laugh,
A glance,
This is where I'm meant to be-
Right here
In your arms.
Safe from the world
As if time can't touch us
Because it can't
Time only brings us
Closer together

How did you know?
Was it
The look in my eyes?
My demeanor?
My straight face and
Tight gestures?
Before I spoke
You were gone
Swept away in the wind
No need to explain
You understood my silence
The silence was the end
And the end
Was inevitable

What if the heart
Were truly a puzzle?
A game of sorts
Of luck
Of chance
Roll the dice and pray
That you draw a piece that fits.
The empty hole there
To remain empty,
Until you draw the right piece.
Who could be good
At such a game?
The rich, the beautiful?
Though it may appear so,
This thought is false
The game IS fair.
In a twisted way,
All have an equal shot
For 1 in 7 billion is the chance
Of finding any single piece.
And I...
I drew the 1
That fits my heart.

These flawless fantasies-
Fleeing cruel reality
And the bitter taste
Of living.
Where I can fly to
Warmth,
Safety,
And welcoming arms.
Away from the terrors
Of unforeseen attacks
These fatal wounds to an
Already breaking heart.
Let me fly
Please.
If not to the truth,
Then at least to a place
Where I believe
I am loved.

I would love to raise my voice
And not have one risen back
Against me

Even amongst the sorrow of life
Joy can be found-
Sometimes in big things,
But more often in the minuscule:
Like stickers from teachers-
"Good job!" "Well done!"
And you see you did just one thing
Right.
Finding a sweet mint
Tucked in the pocket of grandmas purse-
And knowing she wouldn't mind
If you took it.
Happiness lives in fuzzy socks-
When you feel like your feet
Are being given a long hug
By a teddy bear.
Travel size shampoos, too-
So small, yet yielding limitless
Wonderful and soapy scents.
Bouncy ***** for merely a quarter-
That seemed as though
They could bounce higher than the sun.
The pure euphoria of
A wall of scented candles-
Uncapping each and taking in the
Peach, caramel, linens, blueberry,
And countless other imaginative aromas.
Buttons and bubbles-
Such cute words
For such cute objects
Small and round and full of laughter.
Above all else,
Happiness is derived from the
People
That make you who you are,
And the simple smiles they give you
Day after day

Didn't it mean something to you?
Our inseparable bond?
It pains me to say
That I feel like I'm the only one
Still
Trying.
I'm so sorry,
But I didn't realize
Best friends forever
Would end so soon.

Destruction
From the inside out
But I REFUSE
To give in to this internal
Infernal
Ineffable
Battle from which
Evil spawns evil and I,
I am forced to remain as I am
With no visible knowledge,
Yet a sentient faith.
To continue seems a journey
But a road that must be taken.
Well trod by those ahead,
Yet uncertain at every turn
While the battle within rages.
Step forward
Step back
Step forward
Keep moving- backwards is WRONG.
And though I know this,
That it is within my means-
My manageable means,
I cannot bear it,
I MUST bear it.
And as though a cruel joke,
The unbearable becomes bearable
When the unacceptable is accepted.

Grapefruit: abomination!
Such a hybrid shan't exist!
So within my machination
This strange pink fruit I protest

But if it seems I cannot win it
I will find rest within.
Yes, the peace of all my oranges,
My fruit goes without a sin

You.
A word once filled with love
Now turned sour
This tapestry
Once a work of art-
Painted with streaks of fury,
Blots of distaste,
A perfect image once presented
Now soiled with hatred
You.
Slid in to my life
Unannounced
Unexpected
Absolutely not unwanted
How could I be so foolish to think
Love?
The smile you had
Safe, warm, welcoming
How was I to know?
You.
Mirrors and smoke screens to hide
What you really were.
I didn't LOVE you
You were merely a stepping stone
A portion of my own painting,
Now blackened and smeared
I didn't love you.
I couldn't love you.
Your tapestry rolled,
But not forgotten.
For how could I forget
This hole that is
You.

Paralyzed with fear
Yet itching with
This kinetic energy

I want to run
But I'm too afraid of
What's ahead

Don't look back
Can't look forward
Just watch the footfalls

Inching onward
Wanting to discover and yet
Paralyzed with fear

Nothing but fragments
A picture frame with no picture
I can't see you, yet you remain
In the back of my mind
You remain
These thoughts don't connect
Don't flow
I can't seem to make sense of anything
Anything but
*You

I'm having a rough time with it again.
It's like mountains and valleys.
If I'm feeling great
I can make it to the top of a mountain.
But right now I'm down in the valley.
And looking at the next mountain,
I don't want to climb it,
Because I know that beyond it there lie
More valleys.
So I may just stay here.

I remember our innocence
You would slip your hand in mine
Telling me we would be together
Forever

Now looking back, we were children
We didn't understand then world
The battles we would fight
Uphill wars to be just
Us

And yet, here we are, still lost.
Lost in our beautiful innocence

Together

Forever

Far from insanity.
   Thoughts in a down-
       Ward spiral. Falling hard
            For the one I cannot have,
               But wondering what awaits
                   When daylight comes again.
Do  you  recognize  my  sweet  agony?

It pounds in my head
Those three words
I don't know if you feel the same way, I just pray you do
But I could never
Ever
Tell you
I love you