she is
the chill swept over
frail skin—

held dear to the summer,

the thrashing
of warm raindrops
and sand

known only to the bare—

warm throughout,
but the chill still
tickles her skin

while her blood simmers.

it was me
who leg go—
and i’ll always wish
i held on just one...

just one more moment

today, I existed—

my apologies.

so many trickling drops
running down icicles,
sky matching the startling blue
i see in your eyes.

when the horizon
blends into the snow
and the trees slice through it
like lightning bolts,

snow will be warm in my touch
melting still,
on my bare fingertips
exposed to the elements.

i stumble through the dense woods,
leaving the clearing
to be shaded in and sheltered
by the forest’s river

dead silent.
i look around again,
just the icy expanse of startling blue
i see in your eyes.

you kiss me while we stand
waist deep in the river
and melt away downstream,
like the snow i thought... we thought

we weren’t

as the moon crests the horizon,
it lends its brightness
to the crystals of ice
dangling from the trees...

When I swore
I'd never find another like you,

you proudly announced
that's it was a good thing...

so I tried my best to respond
like my world wasn't falling apart.

Your hair no longer
waves in the wind,
locks pin straight
from the overbearing gravity.

Bold yellow curls,
turn beige to match
the sand you blend into—
with eyes blue like the sea.

why must i always
uncover the unknown—
is it not enough
to follow what i know?

or are you just
unknown to me?
incapable of showing
and preferring to leave.

thank you cloudless sky
and moonlit night

Nothing good ever
happens to me.
Perhaps it’s a
self-fulfilling prophecy!

Trip with me,
would it please you
to fall with me
to the great beyond?

I think a year ago
you borrowed a dollar from me.
You forgot to give it back...
I think?
I don’t really remember.

It’s funny,
the only two people
in the whole world
that would care—
and we don’t even remember

To the blue clouds
rolling out of town,

I’m begging for
a last hurrah.

Scarring yellow acid
lovely as can be—
dripping down my cheeks,
stinging my skin
and adhearing to all—

burning the tastebuds
that keep honing it in.
Yet those yellow cubes
that break apart like strings,
will forever be my most welcomed agony

see it wasn’t hard—
the decision to rebel was easy.
i never thought i could chose free will,
and in the end i never did.

the decision to decide was no choice at all,
it was all i had left.
i don’t know freedom until it is ******
on me.

falling—
god it was easy.

deeply sorry,
i am that
i can’t bleed
a little bit more...

To stand over the world,
to watch the turn of time—
I don’t think I’ll be ready
to take on the burden of a god.

So here I sit, waiting—
I will sit and watch until my last breath.
I will await my end, so hellbent on gods
that I will miss the time I had dreamed of.

The Morning Sun,
cuddled close to the Chill,
two monarchs—
deeply in love.

i don’t know why a guy like you;
funny
kind
smart
would love a girl like me.

one who is bad at thinking,
one who’s very bad at slowing down,

why would you love the riptide
drawing you out to sea?
would you feel the Stockholm Syndrome
in your bones?

sometimes i say it’s because
of my devastatingly adequate looks
or my horrifically average mind,

you say you wish i could see me
through your eyes
and, on god, that scares me.
i never want to see the girl
you’ll leave behind

i never want to be the girl
you want to run from

but every time you run—
and it’s much too often,
i see you running to me.

i want nothing more than for you to trip
and never reach me
never love me
never need me

when will you see that i’m a trap
a wreck who can’t stop going too fast
and can’t seem to move my feet
to run alongside you

use your pillow
as a veil,
the way a river
uses the soil.

and when the thrill
of being alone
subsided with the tides,
you will see...

your passive immortality
will bring you nowhere,
but back to me.

How do your
nothing's
mean everything
to me?

I can't breathe.
I cannot believe.
Youll never say love,
I'm impossible to please,

as the red bird soared
lower over the valley--
i heard its lament.

it left a searing agony
that stirred a loyalty in me
i never knew i had.

lower your glass
and drink in solitude,
to a dormant, coiling hope.

a small scab on my
left pinkie—

it would heal by
the end of the night,

if i had only left it
alone.

my legs will always have scabs
and i dont think i'll ever be alone--
but in the mystery of the tabs
i'll sing to a place you call home.

To be a stagnant lake,
just waiting to touch the sun.
Your serve no purpose on earth
in the sky, your life’s begun

Is it
Too much to ask

That I
Will be allowed to soar

Legs balanced
On translucent platforms

Maybe
For once in my life

My feet
Will be punching streaks of gold

I would run
So far down the river

That flows
Miles above our heads

But alas
I must lay down

And melt
Into the crowd

and some day
the rain will pour,
all the way down
and hit the ocean floor—

countless names
wash up on shore,
with an empty face
and empty core

Curse or cure?

Call me what you will,
I'll always assume it's a typo.

Set adrift on the rivers of wind,
to course through empty gravity
while drawing in flames like moths.

We touch down—- not with a bang.
But with negative.
Lack of sight, mind, and everything in between.

I pry eyes from my future scars, lit up with pain.
The sun blinds me while I lay on my back
only to see vision digressing into millions of stars.

He spoke to me as if an angel.
Not a single limb left to count on,
but still secured to the newly vermillion seat.

“Fear can’t hurt you
any more than this dream,” he said—
voice seeping through the nightmare.

He dripped.
Along with the will from his eyes,
before his body hit the ceiling.

And with him, down fall sanity.
Not to be confused with humanity—
the greatest temptress of them all.

when the tender stems
of light reach out,
they slide beneath my door
and pull me through—

and as the tendrils
dance in their own silhouette,
they tell my story
written in flame.

you make my rainy mornings
not even miss the sunrise,
hidden by the clouds.

We travel a path
winding or an arrows-aim,
we all go down our journey—
don’t mind me! I’m just
traipsing around this forest aimlessly,
I bid you no harm.
Allow me to lie down
and be one with the muck!

sometimes
putting on a ring
is a battle cry

with cash taped to
the underlining of her skirt,
she walks on home
silent on the dirt...
the way she moves,

with a little sharp stick
and a little wrist twitch—
connecting with fists,
she scratches that itch...
the way she moves,

when do you begin?
afraid of life,
afraid of sin

silently,
she shows us how to be
in the deep mental groves,
all presented by
the way she moves

With a beating heart,
we finally speak goodbyes—
and not say a word

Write me.
Scribble me into
your existence.

Craft me the way
I know you’ve
always wanted to.

I can be a commander!
Building up your world
around your feet.

I’ll be your manuscript!
As long as it means
you’ll still read me.

Please,
just warp me at your leisure,
if it means you’ll stay.

Is it God I’m searching for?
Is it whispers deep,
deep in my ears?

Is it someone puppeting me?
With threads of gold
tieing me into knots

Resisting the pulls on my hands,
I tug with my might
And my arms fall with a thud

I wish to lift my arms,
Their muscles weak
By my own design

I beg for my tethers back, to a blank face.
Stone gaze,
With eyelashes of gold

Tears crash like waves on my chin.
Puddles of ash,
Begging words spilling out as sand

Cold lips press together as a silent nay.
I lift my arms to pray
But sadly they stay limp at my sides

just because i don’t live my dream,
doesn’t mean it will never be lived...

i’m cursed
with escapism
when i care
too much
that i can’t bear to see
the hurt

you pulled me in
to a home, and yet i
feel no greater loneliness—

as if suffering in silence
is how i am supposed
to reside—

as if my payment for
shelter is that of
dried tears.

you gave me a promise
of no hurting alone,
and i broke that.

i should be left in the chill—
lose my toes and mind,
for i do not deserve your time

and so i break but i earned it
as you have
earned the pieces

as my toes go numb,
i wade into the water...
and let the drips
turn into a storm.

one lone trumpet
calls out into the night,
over a field of tumble weeds—
making love to its echo.