Empty promises,
from an empty girl—
with a grin she’ll say
“I’ll give you the world!”

To run through the grasses, grasses of tall blades of purple and emerald.
Splendid views from the final steps.

With weeks passing, each step guiding me to the final destination, time blurred.
So much monotony bring the worst out
in weak-willed men.
A hike of millions of inches.

A backpack full, practically dragging my shoulders to the ground,
Always eliciting shouts of impending scoliosis.
Yet after three days, the bag blended in with the air.

love is just
an infinite amount of
conversations

you can taste the sorrow
on my lips—
forming my mouths apology,
before i could.

softly in the moonlight,
your silver hands on my cheek.
eyes with flecks of silver
you drape me in silky starlight.

i touch your arms—
golden sparks trickle up my fingers,
heat flooding my vision,
as i melt into your embrace.

not naming names,
100 proof in my veins.
i cant be the same
when i'm drinking again

didnt know i was nostalgic
for self-reckless sadness
and if i go,
well, wouldn't that be tragic.

you are...
a question i cannot ask
without answering another

I don’t want this,
I just want to want something

It looks like a solid fastball,
straight as an arrow flying over the plate.
Whats that?
A big swing and a miss...

maybe next inning.

I study your story,
Earthly in nature.
Horror written by men,
Men with little to wager

I read the rules—
I read them like a prayer.
I cling to them in hopes
When I turn you’re not there.

My breathing grows cold,
My muscles bloom violet.
The fire in my bones
Obediently falls silent.

I ran all too fearful
I pushed my mind too hard
Your punishments were harsh,
And yours, only the start,

love them,
for the good you see
in them—

don’t love them
for the good they see
in you.

How is this “joy” question
the hardest to answer?
I could spit hundreds of verses,
and still read hundreds fancier.

I have no way to see joy—
besides the elusive glimpse.
Each night, under every moon,
the freedom of no job to do since
the long-gone high expectations vanished,
leaving my smiles drawn from circumstance.

Joy escapes me as a runaway train,
while you can find joy in things—
from which— I’ll politely abstain.

There lived a man on the corner,
he was old and grey.
I smiled as I walked
past his box every day,

but he was no drunk!
Not a cigarette in his beard.
His hand soft as most rocks—
unable to be feared.

I offered him a home,
a roof and a treat
but he kindly declined—
firmly planted in seat.

I asked him one morning—
I had nowhere to be—
I asked him “why be hungry
when you can eat for free?”

He smiled to me,
teeth on perfect shelves—
He said “to prove I will always
be able to do it myself.”

He said to me
“kid, handouts can please
but when the weather gets warm,
watch how they flee”

“Wanna know why I’m here?
I could’ve built a house alone.
Now I’m too old to chop the wood,
so not on my own...

I would never live there—
not even a day.
If I didnt earn it,
I could never stay”

He laughed to himself,
hearty chuckle turned cough,
“be tough as hell, kid.
Kindness makes you soft.”

i want to weave your weary words
into beautiful tapestries of light
and drape them on me.
mirroring the queen who dons her robes

Forget one night.
Forget your claims.
God knows my heart
will still beat the same.

Forget this sorrow.
Forget this pain.
I could never be enough...
Why can’t I ever change?

I can’t even begin
to tell you
where I begin
again

Sometimes somethings **** sometimes,
sometimes somethings **** all the time.
When nothing ***** though,
that’s when it all hits you.

When nothing ***** what do we do?
We ponder life? Write ****** poems?
When nothing ***** we make other things
**** to stay entertained, I guess...  

Maybe we should let some things ****,
not really bad things—
but just enough
so it doesn’t ruin everything else.

Why are you trying
so hard to lose your mind?

My dear,
Just grab my hand.

I wish I had the strength
to give all of it to you.

When you learn
how my life ends,

How can you look me--
in my eyes,
and say you'll still love me?

as fascinating as the world is,
i need a moment to explore another.

no stress—
i have cats to feed,

i won’t be long...

While the world crumbles,
hear the trumpets hail to you!

Run towards danger, my love—
the quicker you get there,
the faster we’ll meet again.

******* you.

You smile
And you weasel your way into my lungs
And ****

Worse than a cigar
you linger on my clothes
For what feels like years

You tangle my hair
Turn it to dreds
And I won't comb them

as the docile yellow light
tickles at my fingertips,
rested tenderly on your cheek—

i can feel each and every
fleck of light on us—
piercing my veins,

and when the hue shuts its eyes,
leaving the chaos of light to blink—
that’s where we’ll be.

I’m begging you—
don’t give up on me

please

Shall we take a walk,
my lady? I am but taken aback!
You are truely a maiden as they say!
With eyes suited for stargazing.

Walk me through your garden—
shall I be a foot shorter, as you see it?
Perhaps I shall believe in magic
alongside kids.

Fair and just, just as my father says.
Perhaps he should meander through
your world and command me
in a suitable direction at once...

at last.

If I could reach out…
If I could grab your face.

If I could tense long-limp
muscles, fused to my sides.
If only I could pull my arm
away from the chains that bind me...

If I could be free where would I go?
no family, no home.
If I could reshape my life,
who would I mold myself to be?

A world built of the word “if.”
If only I could change that...

look to the west
over your vast expanse of
unconquered dust
and weep the only water for miles

i shall pull you to me
by the sea in the east
with tendril that bounce
from my eyes to yours

as the string grows shorter
so does our patience
until we are one
drifting away on the dusk

Eyes are not
the windows to the soul.
Eyes are nothing,
Just as we are.

I forgot that I’ve
completely forgotten your voice...
I blocked your sound out
not by necessity, but choice.

Apologies must be much too hard
for my hindsight to be this clear.
I see you— now lit by my distant sanity
and despondent dreer.

lay your vices out
on my lap,
we’ll look through them like
old photographs—

and in final moments
i let it slip,
i promise i’ve never
settled for companionship

the slam of your hands
on the steering wheel
in the middle of the night--
in rage or to the beat of the music,

That's where you'll find me.

each passing moment
i felt the scabs reopen—

running with you through the cold
if only my legs could hold.

and so i limp when i wake,
but on god you’ll never see the ache

my house likes to tease
and toss around shadows
but this is in no way
a resting place for the hallowed

Nobody ever told me,
that I don’t have to prove
my worth to stay alive.

Nobody ever told me
otherwise, either.

A thousand feet
All below mine
Nothing to lose

Use my mind
Before I start to.
Before I go to waste

Bees. Circling my ears,
I hear their buzzing like
remote drums.

They sting me with color—
flashes of green and violet,
their touches so distant.

To breeze in my home,
my mind drifting and
going with the flow of my blood.

Faces oscillating past,
hundreds melding into one,
yet I’d stake my life it was you.

I swim through the air, closing my eyes from
the pain of keeping them open—
somehow I can see with perfect vision.

Darkness, all but the stars,
enveloping me in their arms.
Ah, such a wonder to rest at last.