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13.6k · Sep 2015
My Bike and I
LJ Chaplin Sep 2015
The heat,
The way it ripples from the steel handlebars
And burns my hands,
The way the clunking of the chain feels
As each pedal propels me forward
Beneath the sun.
The sky is blue,
The air is crisp and leaves pinpricks
On my skin,
Soothed by the tenderness
Of sun rays that fall like curtains
Upon the concrete.

It smells of rubber,
A lingering scent of nostalgia
That fills my lungs like tar
And fills my heart with youthful
Thoughts.
As the wrinkles emerge,
And the delicate cracks begin to show,
I realize that my bike
Is the last memento that
Resonates through my aging ways.

Let's take a final spin down the boulevard,
Before the sun goes down
And my bones ache once more.
13.4k · Jul 2013
Perks of Being A Fangirl
LJ Chaplin Jul 2013
You lose your mind,
You lose all function of your body
To the point where
A little bit of ***
Escapes,
Your mind is well and truly ******,
Like, hard.
You're shaking,
Quivering,
Practically electrified,
The world seems meaningless
Until you experience
The one thing you have
Been waiting for
For so long.

I am fangirling like a school kid right now,
And the mess of a poem you have just read?

Yeah,
**That mess represents the state I am in right now.
7.9k · Apr 2015
The Sailor & The Siren
LJ Chaplin Apr 2015
He waits for the wind to carry him home,
Across waves that rise and fall with
The pulsing of his aching heart,
She waits on rocks by the shipwreck,
Wondering how he got away,
He counts his blessings and clutches his chest,
The lurching feeling fading with the haunting
Visions of the flames in her eyes,
She cries and buries her face into her hands,
Tears forming shallow bodies of water
Like the rock pools where she dreamed of
Capturing  his heart.
© LJ Chaplin
7.5k · Aug 2013
Blue Eyed Teardrops
LJ Chaplin Aug 2013
The keyboard on my laptop has witnessed too many tear drops
Fall upon it's ebony skin as I type,
Each articulation of painful thoughts
And agonisingly catastrophic formation of words
Forcing another wave of grief to pour from these
empty blue eyes of mine.

I have tried to keep my head above the water,
To contain the wildfire in my head
That threatens to spread and burn under my veins,
Aflame in every single bone in this hollow body
But now it seems comforting to let myself slip
Beneath the surface,
To let the fire turn everything to ashes.

It feels better this way,
To be a chaotic mess.
**At least I know how beautiful I'll be when I open up my heart and mind to the possibility of destruction.
6.1k · Mar 2015
Ignorance
LJ Chaplin Mar 2015
We are more willing
To read palms
Than to read between the lines,
To want space but
We want to know what goes on in
Dark corners.
5.8k · Feb 2015
Obsession
LJ Chaplin Feb 2015
Locked inside your head,
Hearing distant footsteps
From the bottom of the stairs,
Alone in an empty room,
Broken ***** bottles
That drowned out the nightmares,
Fear of self control,
The thought of gaining power
That will make you way too strong,
Fear of letting go,
The thought of shattered potential
And seeing things go wrong,
Lost in a crowd,
The voices all the same
Your direction is all off track,
Speaking out for what you love,
The aching trepidation of rejection
That makes foundations of progress crack,
Achieving perfection,
Looks that could never ****
Or bodies that never impressed
Being normal,
It scares you half to death,
It makes the mind obsessed.
5.6k · May 2014
Anatomy
LJ Chaplin May 2014
Stripped down
For the World to see,
Beneath flesh and bone,
Deeper than marrow and blood,
Right down to the soul.
Let them see the veins,
Let them watch as my heart
P  u  l  s  e  s
Nestled between heavy lungs,
Shrouded by an aching ribcage,
A heavy blow
That makes me stumble and fall,
Bruises,
Grazes,
Flatline.
Make another incision
While I lay upon the operating
Table,
I don't know what you are searching for,
Nor do I know what you will achieve
when you do find it,
But it isn't here.
Love cannot be found by extracting cells,
It cannot be discovered through
The translucent glow of an X-ray,
Not even an autopsy,
Removing each piece of me,
Could speed up the process,
It's lost,
It's incurable.
5.2k · Apr 2015
At The Top Of The Stairs
LJ Chaplin Apr 2015
The lights go out as another day
Draws to a close,
In the distance sirens of an ambulance
Ripples through the stillness
Of the night,
I ache,
I'm tired,
But I'm restless.
The staircase extends beyond my feet,
Up into a blank space
Where light cannot reach
And darkness can wait
For me to enter.
I can feel its eyes on me,
Fixated on my body
As I approach the first step.
I don't know why,
But the lingering presence
Is always there,
As if it waits with arms crossed
And draped against my bedroom door,
It sense my fear and I sense its intent:
To creep into my mind,
To feed off the chaos that stirs
Each and every day.
© LJ Chaplin
4.7k · Feb 2015
Ghost
LJ Chaplin Feb 2015
I was the ghost you saw before,

I was the shadow beyond your door,

Just call the doctor and take your medicine,

Forget the exorcist and devote all sin

To the phantom under the sheets.
4.5k · Oct 2013
Adventure
LJ Chaplin Oct 2013
When I write,
It is like I am on an adventure,
When I am happy I am drifting down a lazy river,
When I am full of anger I am raging down dangerous rapids,
Crashing into the jagged rocks of my anguish and anxiety
Until finally I reach the river bank and I can rest.

It is like I am scaling Mount Everest,
Each level of creativity is another 100 metres into the sky
Until finally my imagination is at the peak
And my freedom is limitless,
stretching across to the farthest reaches of the horizon

It is like skydiving,
A rush of adrenaline as I plummet towards the ground,
Completely weightless and my mind is racing
Like the air that brushes over my skin
Until I pull the cord and release the parachute,
Safely land on my feet
With a new idea.

It is like a drug,
I am on an all time high,
Hallucinations of what could be,
How something that is far from tangible
Becomes existential,
Then during the come down
I make that dream a reality.

When I write, I feel like myself,
There are too many possibilities
That are still left unmarked on the map of written art.
4.1k · Jul 2014
Lyrics: Bored
LJ Chaplin Jul 2014
Verse One
Tie me down,
I'm scared of floating away,
Take the crown,
I'm tired of the game of swords we played,
Hold myself steady,
Soul is heavy,
I should have sounded the alarms
When the charm
Spilled from the heart in your hands

Chorus
I've torn down the walls in my home,
Won't build them up so I don't feel alone,
And you left me to clean up the tears you spilled,
Hide the mess and the shame of the time you killed,
Under the floorboards,
You were only bored.

Verse Two
Take my hand,
I'm too frightened to fall,
Beneath the sand,
To lose sight and sense of it all,
Step back slowly,
I'm so lonely,
I should have screamed when you struck
And I ran out of luck,
Yeah the glass was too **** full

Chorus
I've torn down the walls in my home,
Won't build them up so I don't feel alone,
And you left me to clean up the tears you spilled,
Hide the mess and the shame of the time you killed,
Under the floorboards,
You were only bored.

Bridge
I'm busy swimming through quicksand,
The pole balances in the palm of your hand,
Turn your back and walk away,
'Cause you were bored and I was your
Entertainment for the day

Chorus x2**
I've torn down the walls in my home,
Won't build them up so I don't feel alone,
And you left me to clean up the tears you spilled,
Hide the mess and the shame of the time you killed,
Under the floorboards,
You were only bored.
3.7k · Jul 2013
Intimate Warfare
LJ Chaplin Jul 2013
Hey stranger,
Sitting at the bar alone,
Let's exchange our numbers,
Or get a taxi home.
You've got me on your mind,
You've caught me like a cold,
The gun is locked and loaded,
Let's pull the trigger and watch the night explode.

We'll lead a revolution once more,
Lying on the bedroom floor,
The white flag is buried beneath our piles of clothes,
We'll search it like it's treasured gold,
Just kiss me and surrender.

Throw our anchors out onto the shore,
The storm is raging,
But we're engaging
In an intimate warfare and we're breaking the law.

Wolf in sheep's clothing and the wool covers my eyes,
Held my heart in your hands and you're feasting
On the lies,
The love,
Lust,
Desire,
It's getting hot and we're playing with the fire.

Throw our anchors out onto the shore,
The storm is raging,
But we're engaging
In an intimate warfare and we're breaking the law.
You know,
I know,
One of us will win,
But for now we'll dance in the dark and do everything.
3.5k · Nov 2014
Gravity
LJ Chaplin Nov 2014
Anchored to the ground,
But I feel weightless,
An existential phenomenon
With the strength of Atlas
Yet it is transparent,
No tangible emotions,
No words that can bring
Into understanding the power
Beneath our feet.
3.2k · Nov 2013
Intimate Privacy
LJ Chaplin Nov 2013
Closed doors never seemed so perfect to me,
To call her mine without the demonic
Stares of the public vultures,
Snapping their claws on the shutters of cameras
And plastering our love across the world.
It is nice to be able to talk to her,
To hide our deep conversations
Under the covers at night,
The luminescent glow
Of another incoming text,
The quiet throb of fingertips
Colliding with the screen,
Each letter creating another
Syllabic heartbeat
Of love and desire,
I just wish that one day
These words will become real,
They will evolve and grow to speak
Louder than the actions we describe to each other.
I want the hugs to be real.
I want the kisses to be real.
I want the inevitable yearning for passion to be real.
As long as at it can be between us and us only.
Written for one of my closest and most amazing friends. She deserves so much love <3
3.1k · Nov 2013
That Gay Poem
LJ Chaplin Nov 2013
Although the hate will still haunt,
I'll love who I want,
My heart only belongs to him,
Push me and try,
To change my mind,
But love was never a sin,
Push me and break me,
But you'll never take me,
I will never give in,
The *** guy will fight,
To have his own rights,
Equality will win.
I won't hide who I adore,
Or expect an applause,
I want to be with him,
So excuse me and be quiet,
Because I won't even deny it,
I'm just as *** on the outside as within.
3.1k · Mar 2015
Ruins
LJ Chaplin Mar 2015
Dust and rubble settle at my feet,
A chaotic collapse
Inside myself that I could never
Have imagined,
The foundations are shaken,
The cracks began to show,
And piece by piece
It all spectacularly fell apart,
Nothing to hold on to,
Nothing to steady myself with
As it all crashed and burned,
Leaving me surrounded by the ruins
Of an Empire that took years to build
And seconds to destroy.
3.0k · Jan 2015
Haiku: Daydreaming
LJ Chaplin Jan 2015
High above the clouds,
Reality seems so false,
Daydreams fuel escape.
2.8k · May 2014
Pulse
LJ Chaplin May 2014
Thud thud,
like the beat of a battle drum,
Hallowed cries of victory
Within the capillaries
of your body,
A faint pulsation of adrenaline,
Fresh from the free fall of another
Spiralling of self control,
Beneath layers of fair, smooth skin
lies the undulating tide of blood
and oxygen,
Cascading down narrow slivers
of your veins.
each shuddered breath
is another catalyst of
Life,
Another slam on the accelerator
that surges you further down
the fast lane,
Those faint pulses of yours
Never cease to amaze me.
2.8k · Sep 2013
What Is Family?
LJ Chaplin Sep 2013
I find myself skipping to another page,
Moving from myself and focusing
On the people around me,
Inspecting all of the holes
In what I am supposed to call my family.
An alcoholic nan who only respected me
If she had a whole bottle of whiskey beforehand,
Aunties and Uncles who refuse to talk to me,
Another Uncle who despises me because of who I am,
A dad who left me here and went to France so I barely see him,
A brother who would rather belittle and humiliate me than love me,
And so many relatives who don't even know I exist.

But my hatred can outshine them all,
I love my dad, but I wish he was here,
The others can light another match
And continue to burn their bridges.
I know who I love and who love me in return,
Who will never abandon despite the monster I've become,
The real definition of family.
I don't even know what is going on. There is so much hatred and resentment that is crawling from nowhere. Is it a sudden realisation? Something that has been boiling for ages and is now spilling over? I honestly don't know.
2.6k · Feb 2015
Love and Other Narcotics
LJ Chaplin Feb 2015
Inject me,
Pierce the skin
And it let it merge
With blood cells and
Bacardi,
Press your lips against mine
And slip the pill onto my tongue,
Don't pull away until each grain
dissolves
Stacks of cash
From selling love in bottles,
Capsules,
IV drips,
Losing our minds as we
Become entangled in unconsciousness.

But when I wake up you're gone.
Sweaty palms,
Goosebumps,
The fear of relinquishing control,
Or even losing my mind?
We become addicted to the visions
In our head,
The dreams we steal from dark corners
Of the brain
When we are intoxicated,
Yet with each passing of time
We rely on what numbs the pain
Of what we lost.
2.5k · Dec 2014
Fear
LJ Chaplin Dec 2014
It was not sadness
That caused the tears to fall,
But the transcendent fear
That belittled the crushing
Weight of the world.
2.4k · Nov 2013
Seduced By The Devil
LJ Chaplin Nov 2013
Hit the ground hard,
Rosary beads hit the dust,
Praying on your knees
That you have seen the last of us,
Heaven's gates are far from calling,
And your graces are still falling,
Repent and confess your darkest sins,
The Devil is coming, don't let him in,
Do not embrace his smouldering charm,
Or let him take you by the arm,
Or ****** your soul and accept his kiss,
That burns like acid and tastes like bliss,
Don't fall for his lust or burning desire,
Or for eternity you will be trapped within the fire.
2.4k · Jul 2016
Body Poverty
LJ Chaplin Jul 2016
Desperate times call for desperate measures,
In search of gold and buried treasures,
To cure corruption in the mind,
To pay off your demons  but still faced with a fine,
Strike it rich and drill for oil,
Suppressed in fear beneath the soil,
The heart goes bust with no chance to bail,
It's lost its worth and bound to fail,
The brain is poor, it yearns for cash,
Dollar signs crumble, all to ash,
The body waits for income to climb,
But it's stuck in debt with no hope for a
Dime
2.3k · Jul 2013
Brave
LJ Chaplin Jul 2013
To those of you who read this,
Who feel like they don't belong,
Who feel that they are the jagged puzzle piece,
Let me tell you one word that describes who you are:
Brave

You stare into the cruel faces of the ones who belittle you,
Who have made you feel like you are nothing
Like you are too fat
Too thin
Too ****
A ****
A freak
A ******
A ******

You stare deep into their eyes and with all of your might you tell them,
I am braver than you
I am stronger than you.

You will NOT be defined,
You will NOT be dominated by the perfect society we apparently live in
You will NOT be contained like animals in the cages of your despair and live in the shadows.

Together, we will revolt against the ones who have pushed us into the dirt

We are soldiers. We march in unison with our heads held high and the shining sun of pride on our backs,

We are the renegades who will accomplish the mission who will wave the sweet flag of victory above us,

We are the people who are perfect.

Please remember, dear readers:

You are more than a number on the scale
You are more than a social stereotype
You are more than the blade you hold between your fingers

YOU
ARE
**BRAVE
2.3k · Apr 2014
Nuclear Lovers
LJ Chaplin Apr 2014
When the bomb starts to fall,
Plummeting towards the Earth
Remember what you whispered
In my ear the night before.
As it explodes and the air
We breathe is shattered and
Propelled into chaos,
Amongst the shards of metal
And grains of sand
I realise how much I need
To feel the radioactive glow
Beneath my skin and the
Total meltdown of a kiss
Underneath the mushroom cloud,
The vast expanse of arms
That part the sky and hurtles
The clouds into
Oblivion,
The corrosive burn
of waste that
Numbs my feet
And threatens to destroy me
But instead leaves me feeling weightless,
As if I have been catapulted by the shock waves
With nothing to hold on to.
There is a fusion in my veins,
It glows and grows until finally
I become strong like uranium.
Then bury my heart beneath concrete
And power the World,
Feel the rush and destruction
Of **nuclear lovers
© L.J. Chaplin
2.3k · Jun 2013
Homesick
LJ Chaplin Jun 2013
The tarmac rushes beneath my feet,
But my body is sitting still,
Pulled back by the seatbelt so tight,
The journey feels so unreal.
Speeding cars and motorbikes,
The smell of fumes and city lights,
My home is getting closer,
I can feel it. I can feel it.

I miss the house I called a home,
I miss the friends I call my own,
I miss the place I used to see,
Of happy lives, a family,
And now my heart feels heavy.
I feel just a little homesick, tonight.

Catch a coach from the airport,
I’m tired of waiting around,
Suitcase in my left hand,
The sound of the engine’s so loud.
Vehicles will pass on by,
Lost in the dark and the city lights,
My home is even closer,
I can see it. I can see it.

I miss the house I called a home,
I miss the friends I call my own,
I miss the place I used to see,
Of happy lives, a family,
And now my heart feels heavy.
I feel just a little homesick, tonight.

Smiling faces will guide me,
The signs on the road will guide me,
The hope of going home will guide me,
To cure my homesickness, tonight.
2.2k · Nov 2014
Rebel
LJ Chaplin Nov 2014
My body's carved from stone,
My lungs are made of gold,
Put a candle to my heart
And it'll die from the cold,
The cathedral bells they ring,
But the martyrs dare to sing,
They only seem to whisper my name.

The only air I breathe
Is the smoke from a fire,
Composure is my friend
As I dance on a wire,
Yes the people stop to stare
But little do I care,
They're only making fools of themselves.

I'm steady as a hunter
Like a shark in the tide,
Don't break above the surface
I'll be caught and I will die,
Try to live on higher levels
But I am just a rebel,
And invincibility falls to its knees.
2.2k · Aug 2014
Smoke and Mirrors
LJ Chaplin Aug 2014
You are the earthquake,
Tearing apart the ground
Beneath my aching feet
After years of running from
Your destruction,
You let me fall through the cracks
Like sand through fingertips,
Consumed by the dark,
Falling past wonderland
And the other side of the Earth,
Drowning in a sea of stars,
Flushed away to the farthest reaches
Of the universe
Just so I can feel beautiful again,
To reshape myself to fit the new mould
That I constructed after you had
So effortlessly contorted the previous one with your bare hands,
Like smoke and mirrors,
An optical illusion,
There are things that your eyes
Cannot see that are burnt into
My skin,
That I can't scrub from me as if
They were mud stains,
From skidding to avoid the collision
Of my dignity.
I am left suspended in ignorant bliss,
Silent and calm,
Comfortable and collected.
2.1k · Jan 2014
Depression: A Truth
LJ Chaplin Jan 2014
Those who are held back by depression are often viewed as 'miserable' or 'negative', but people really do not understand the fragile nature that these sufferers must face. It is an unconditionally delicate misconception, one of which that encourages society to hold such a stereotypical perception it can ultimately tip the scales and cause unfaltering chaos on the body, the mind and the soul. We are left to pick up the pieces of ourselves from the stone-like words that people throw at us, the icy glances when they see that we're trying to hold back stale tears that we were unable to release the night before and instead faced a daunting and relentless course of insomnia, the cold shoulder when we are desperate to breathe and release the demons that cloud our heads and our judgements in order to feel free again. It is unnerving to think that we must wander through life as shadows whilst others dance in the carefree sunlight of their ignorance. They are blinded by the sun rays of misunderstanding or lack of interest, they are educated but do not put their knowledge and understanding to the test and instead flee when the school bell of fear and commitment resonates through the hallowed halls of our hearts, our arteries, veins, capillaries, blood cells.

It is a tragic and petrifying truth, one of which breaks me a little more inside as each day passes.
I wrote this as a means of release and venting. Things have been so shaky recently: the wrong pills, stress, fear, worry, anxiety, it has taken its toll on so many important things in my life. Things are looking up though, I am on new pills, there is counselling available for me at College and I don't know, I am just aiming for the highest possible outcome of optimism. I want to save my relationship, because he didn't deserve to go through my emotional chaos. It is unfair and I wish every single day that I could fix it. But space and thought is necessary and I know it will ease the pain for both of us. And even if things don't go the way we anticipated, I will always love him, because three years of friendship with an awesome guy means the world to me. I'm ready for the stones, the set-backs, the lengthy process of potential dosage changes and repetitive chit-chat about how I feel, but if it helps to expel all of the negativity that has haunted my life, then I am ready. I'm stronger than what I have convinced myself to believe, and now more than ever I am in tune and ready to get started.
2.1k · Mar 2014
Spectrum
LJ Chaplin Mar 2014
Turn off all the lights,
I want to see your heart glow
And your true colours shine
Like a spectrum,
Watch the colours of
Sky blue,
Blood red,
Sunset orange,
Apple green,
Dance across the walls
And sing a serenade
Of a thousand dreams,
Let me hold you close
So I can feel the technicolor
Pulse beneath your skin
And ignite a rainbow
In my soul,
Take me to the sea of stars
That glisten in the iris
Of your eyes,
I am perplexed by
The way you sway
With the colours of the night,
A fire in your stomach
That spits embers of smouldering
Beauty,

*I am lucky to be the one that shares your prismatic perfection.
1.9k · Jan 2014
On the Tube
LJ Chaplin Jan 2014
I am the oxygen running
Through the veins of London,
I am weaving my way through
The crowds of people,
Commuters,
Tourists,
Family,
I feel the wind
Of the trains
Pulsating through the air,
Running its fingers through my hair
And over my body,
There metallic cries cascading through the tunnels,
Where will I go?
The Northern line to Tottenham Court Road?
The Central line to Liverpool Street station?
There is only one destination I yearn for,
Above the concrete,
The tiles and wires,
The pipelines and emptiness,
I want to be at home
With you again.
1.9k · Sep 2013
Unsure
LJ Chaplin Sep 2013
I don't see the point of having a dream
When I am unsure of my own reality.
Why should I set myself a goal
If I'm uncertain that I'll make it that far?
So much doubt. So little time.
1.9k · Sep 2014
Love Is Pessimism
LJ Chaplin Sep 2014
It's not like the movies,
There's no passion in your eyes
And the sheets are getting cold,
It's such a cliché,
Standing in the rain,
But pneumonia takes control,
It's like a fever,
Tensions running high
But I must bite down on my tongue,
You don't want it either,
So cut off all your ties
Let bridges burn beneath the Sun,
Tighten the noose,
Your hand is on the lever
With no chance of letting go,
Don't cut me loose,
I want to feel the free-fall
Get high from feeling low
1.9k · Apr 2014
Haunt
LJ Chaplin Apr 2014
The cold side of the bed seems so far away,
Wrapped in the sheets are the sounds of breathing,
Pieces of you and I still smoulder in the ashtray,
Tobacco kisses and shots of *** in the evening.
Exorcisms couldn't even lift the haunting presence
Of a heavy heart which carries the weight of worlds.
Short and sweet. Struggling for inspiration recently.
1.8k · Jul 2013
A Different Kind of Boy
LJ Chaplin Jul 2013
I am not the kind of boy who fits the mould of it's social stereotype:
Does sport
perving on girls
has the tendency to treat girls like a piece of meat

No, that isn't me.
I never liked sport.
I was a boy who didn't like to watch or play with Action man or Power Rangers,
Instead I was the kind of boy who would tell his friends that he was going to football club,
When in fact I was going to dance club.
At school I studied dance.
"What lesson do you have next, Lew?"
"History"
Dance.

As the school year rolled on it was revealed,
When I had to perform in front of the whole school,
Nerves
Butterflies
Terror

After that I rolled with the punches:
***
Queer
******

It angered me that because I didn't stick with the 'traditional' ideology of a boy I was an outcast,
labelled with a stereotype that also didn't fit me.

I like Lady Gaga
In fact, I adore her.
Because I support the LGBT community I am misunderstood as a person.

To this day I struggle to overcome constant attack of prejudice and disrespect that people show me,
I struggle to hold on to that last thread of self confidence.
I don't dance any more. I am too scared to try it again
I don't tell people that I listen to Gaga and Lana Del Rey. They'll laugh at me
Whenever I say I like a girl people think it's a lie

**All of this because I am a different kind of boy.
1.8k · Nov 2015
The Bachelor
LJ Chaplin Nov 2015
Black and blue eyes
From rolling with the punches,
Another lonely night
From relying on the hunches,
Flicking through the channels
And hoping for a sign
That tonight will the night
He won't walk another line,
Shielding his face from the red and blue,
Slurring his words
Because he hasn't got a clue,
Where he is
Or why he's behind bars,
A night in a cell
Because he's written off his car.
He wonders why women walk away,
Why they give him the finger
Or why he never gets their name,
But then again he enjoys the rush,
Of taking them to bed
With another heart to crush,
Of sleeping in sheets
That still smell of Chanel,
From the woman before
Who said "go to hell".
He puts on his shoes
And walks through the door,
Hoping tonight
He'll once again score.
© L.J. Chaplin
1.8k · Apr 2015
Haiku: London
LJ Chaplin Apr 2015
Heartbeats and concrete,
Skyscrapers and commuters,
Dreams and believers.
1.8k · Jun 2013
Self Control
LJ Chaplin Jun 2013
It has been grasped in my fingertips,
The reins that have steered my conscience,
The compass that has guided me through the wilderness
Of myself,
Forests and vast landscapes sculpted by trepidation,
The flowing river of guilt that flows between the cracks
Of my positive façade,
The tables are starting to turn,
The piece of mind I have allowed to dictate my actions
Has shifted towards the edge of a cliff,
Left to plummet to the jagged rocks of my insecurities,
The storm clouds are rolling in from the horizon,
Guttural claps of thunder erupting,
Pulses of lightning striking the last of my happiness,
Shattering it into a million fragile pieces,
Left to burn in the heat of the growing tension
Of my worries,
I'm slipping,
Clinging onto the edge and not looking down,
Not looking down at the twisted fate below
As if I would be staring into the smouldering depths
of hell

I'm too tired to hold on,
I have to let go,
*I have to fall.
1.7k · Sep 2013
Radioactive
LJ Chaplin Sep 2013
Caught in the middle of a nuclear warfare,
And we make love beneath the mushroom cloud,
Sparks fly amidst the dust and rubble
From the remnants of our incinerated world.
Hollow hearts like Chernobyl,
Desolate and dilapidated,
Chemicals still lingering deep beneath the soil,
Forbidden to connect and to flourish
With one another.
Veins lined with toxic waste
That spill from our mouths
When we kiss,
Our skin is radioactive
When we touch,
The boiling point
Before we have a total meltdown,
Slowly eroding
Into ash and ruins.
1.7k · Nov 2013
Traveller
LJ Chaplin Nov 2013
Mama I'm not coming home tonight,
Don't fret I promise I'll be alright,
I'm moving on to better things,
Left the nest and spread my wings,
And feel the sun on the back of my heart.
Father you never understood my plans,
Told me you'd take matters into your hands,
Kicked me to the ground and said,
Son you need to clear your head,
But I'm still waiting for life to start.
Hitch-hiker happiness and suitcase sorrows,
Feel the space between today and tomorrow,
Ride the winds of a thousand ambitions,
Set fire to your inner inhibitions,
Aeroplanes and cars and trains,
My future will never be the same,
I'm a travelling teen with a travelling mind,
So I'll start again and leave my insecurities behind.
1.7k · Apr 2015
Pandora's Box
LJ Chaplin Apr 2015
Show me your flaws and I'll show you mine,
The moment is raw and I won't decline,
The chance to be open,
The chance to be kind,
A finger to my lips
To hush words I can't find,
Scars don't determine
Your final appearance,
Nor is perfection
Your final endearment.

I have wounds of my own
But alas you can't see,
Echoes of war that
Ripple through me,
Deep beneath skin
And deep beneath veins,
Tucked away safely
In the confines of a brain,
Kept in a box wrapped in a ribbon,
Collecting dust and carefully hidden,
Away from hands that try to pry,
Scratching at surfaces try after try,
Scrounching for scraps and forever hoping,
That pandora's box will finally be opened
© LJ Chaplin
1.7k · Sep 2013
MANnequin
LJ Chaplin Sep 2013
I have to run faster now,
I have to leave this town,
Change my name,
Change my face,
**** my identity and leave no trace,
The monster you made is creeping in the dark,
Yearning for the taste of a beating heart,
The bitter scent of soiled blood,
Alcohol and cigarettes,
Another fish caught in the net.

This kid is far from a ***** hot mess,
When he's unable to hide the stress,
To hold down tears that smell like Jack,
Barely able to keep himself back,
From the edge of his so called sanity,
Fractured by the pressure of male vanity.

This MANnequin is just a boy,
18 years and feels destroyed,
Metal pecs and washboard abs,
A dream of his while he covers the 'flab',
Betrayed by friends who style their hair
While he keeps on running so they don't stare
At the failure of physical attraction,
Repulsed by the existence of his own reflection,
Another flaw on a social scale,
**A grizzly end to this unwanted tale.
1.7k · Feb 2015
Pens and Penicillin
LJ Chaplin Feb 2015
We place ink on paper
The way we swallow a pill,
Hesitation,
Fear of bitter taste and
Dissatisfaction,
Failure to expel what truly
Eats us alive.
We try to wipe away the fever that stains
Our body
The way that the ink stains the pages,
Seeping through and latching on
With no hope of removing it
Until we grow a deep immunity,
A force that dissolves all absolute
Decay and bacteria
Until we are clean.
One dose of imperfection
And three moments of inspiration a day
Will make you healthy again
1.7k · Nov 2013
Mary Jane
LJ Chaplin Nov 2013
Mary Jane please don't tell,
But I'm stuck under your spell,
Amsterdam secrets,
Promise me you will keep them,
Higher than the stars at night,
Don't let me fall 'cause  I'm as free as a kite.

The grass is always greener,
Between the cold tips of my fingers,
Spark the lighter and savour,
The smoke and the flavour,
Mary Jane won't deceive me,
In my mind where she calms me.

One last puff until I'm sober,
The come down won't mean it's over,
Come back tomorrow and I'll be fine,
When Mary Jane loves me from the inside.
Inspired by 'Mary Jane Holland' by Lady Gaga <3
1.7k · May 2014
Nicotine
LJ Chaplin May 2014
You're just another cigarette in a packet,
Another ounce of poison that captivates
The senses and destroys me from the inside,
I taste you on my lips,
Another heavy drag,
Inhaling the sickening smoke
And exhaling the ghost of you,
You line my soul with tar,
Block the lungs and you choke me,
Suffocating,
Yet I still desire your touch,
Killing me softly.
1.7k · Nov 2014
Miracle
LJ Chaplin Nov 2014
Your back is numb and cold
From hours of lying on the wet grass
In the dark,
The sky is clear,
Just like your mind
As your glazed eyes trace the
Constellations that swim
In the eccentric vastness of the night sky,
An aching feeling captures your heart
As you realise that all of the wishes you made
Were lost in the universe,
Slowly disintegrating and burning,
The stars were not meant to be dream catchers,
You feel lied to that this horrible cliché has
Become existential by a hopeless romantic
Or a child who yearned for hope
Somewhere in the farthest reaches of the Earth.
Like many you still wait with your
Grass stained and dew soaked back
Firmly planted to the ground,
Not caring that the force of gravity
Is rolling beneath you,
Anchoring you so you're not able
To follow each and every thought
That escapes your mind into
Oblivion,
You just hope that there is a miracle,
Some explicit and fiery moment of realisation
That will shift you from anguish and into
Happiness
1.6k · Jun 2016
Chameleon Sky
LJ Chaplin Jun 2016
I watched the sky transform
Overhead,
As the sun set
It flourished more than ever.

I watched in awe
As it changed colour,
The clouds shed its white washed skin
And boasted an undulating opalescence
Of pink and lilac,
Soft like candyfloss,
I felt compelled to reach up
And sink my teeth into it,
Only to let the rain fall
Onto my lips and seep
Into my skin.

I traced the clouds
To the horizon,
Where fiery hues of
Orange burned bright
Like wildfire,
An irresistible iridescence
That filled my belly with
An inferno
Not even the Seven Seas
Could tame.

Before long,
The stars filtered through
The kaleidoscopic creation,
Illuminating the Universe
Like the London Skyline.

I pick one amongst the
Palette of scattered clouds
And wish that I can witness
This masterpiece
*The same time tomorrow
© L.J. Chaplin
1.6k · Apr 2015
High Horse
LJ Chaplin Apr 2015
I never thought
I'd get off this high horse,
For my feet to touch the earth
And feel something,
No clouds to obstruct my view,
Throwing the rose tinted glasses
To the ground
And crush them into the soil,
But new realisations can be
Hard to deal with,
So I must take my time
To piece it together
© LJ Chaplin
LJ Chaplin Jan 2014
The train ground to a halt,
Reluctantly sighing from the fatigue
Of another aching dance along the tracks,
Stained by raindrops and gravel,
I am sorry to make you carry me.
The suitcase thuds against the Tarmac
As I step on to Platform 2,
I am surrounded by other travellers,
Some dressed in their suits and professional stature,
Others dressed in coats and jeans and relief,
I see a boy and girl embrace and kiss,
He takes her luggage and they walk off hand in hand,
Another woman hugs her sister,
Or even a friend
And laugh and kiss one another on the cheek,
I drag my suitcase behind me,
My head clouded with the sound of footprints
Against wet Tarmac,
Walking along the yellow line until I reach the stairs,
Down I go.
New Year's Eve,
Celebration and intoxication
Lingered in the freezing wintry dusk,
Fireworks and beer,
Singing and champagne,
I am a part of it.
I slide my ticket into the machine and it lets me pass
With no resistance,
He waits there in the exit,
Hands in his pocket,
A smile on his rosy face
That has been kissed by the cold,
We leave the station,
Happiness surging between us.
1.6k · Sep 2013
Cannibal
LJ Chaplin Sep 2013
The primal instincts are not enough
To tempt me away from the thought of you,
This love of ours is dry and tough,
Discarded the bones because I know we're through,
The urge to ****,
The rush of the thrill,
Let me strike you with a poisoned dart,
Just to have another taste of your beating heart.

I'm just a lovestruck Hannibal,
I want to eat your love like a cannibal,
I'm a savage, I'm a sinner, I'm living like an animal,
But all I want to do is feed on your love like a cannibal.
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