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They gave me a book
They said it contained
Divine knowledge
I read it
I found nothing new
I said life has taught
Me much more
The book contained
Human views and Interpretation of life
They declared me ignorant
I accepted their ignorance
I am now happy
With my new degree
'Bachelor of Ignorance'
For ***** to bounce is very rude,
Unless they dropped.  Ascendancy
Is boldness we don’t like to see.    
And roundness really is quite lewd.  
For spheres, directions are the same,
And favoring the vertical
Is impudent in a mere ball.  
A proper toy should be more tame.
I got the idea for this one from Kafka’s short story Blumfeld, an Elderly Bachelor.  Those weird bouncing ***** really freak me out, like something out of The Twilight Zone.  I’ve always thought this story was one of his best and under-appreciated.  I’ve never been able to find much critical literature that mentions it.
Michael R Burch Apr 2020
by michael r. burch

& disarming,
but mostly ALARMING
since all my resolve

as a sheikh's
harem girl in the sheets
but my castle’s no longer my own
and my kingdom is overthrown!

Originally published by Brief Poems. Keywords/Tags: bachelorhood, bachelor, engagement, marriage, resolve, dissolved, hoodwinked, helpless, vulnerable, smitten, bewitched, charm, charmed, spellbound, love potion
Michael R Burch Mar 2020
The Bachelor Spectacular
by Michael R. Burch

One heart? Tossed aside.
The other? A bride’s.
In all his great wisdom, the bachelor decides.

Eeenie, mean-ie, mine-y, mo’, ...
one gal must stay and one must go.
If she hollers? That’s the show!

No heart can handle such despair!
But hearts get broken, hearts repair.
Next season? The treasoned will rule the air!

Tags/Keywords: Bachelor, Reality, TV, show, spectacular, spectacle, date, dating, nonsense verse, light verse, humor, satire, parody, heartbreak, tears, hearts broken, bride, groom, script, scripted, histrionics
moon man Feb 2020
He goes through women like a food critic goes through a restaurant menu, one after another they were all flings and one night stands. But as his loneliness grows evermore, he comes to realize that one day he wouldn't want to give up a woman that fits all of his desires. That one day Cupid will catch up to him and lock the shackles of love to his ankles. He laughs it off as he orders another drink. Then she walks in, and he can feel those shackles close around tighter.
This is the third and final poem of a three poem project that I've been working on to celebrate the people of Valentine's day. This poem is dedicated to all the bachelors that were finally caught by cupid's arrow.
Brandon Conway Oct 2018
My countenance
made love with the harsh earth
she left me
and bloodied
with a couple days
plucked out of my memory
thank whoever is above
for the few buddies
that pulled me to the
corner with a flashlight
bag of cold ice
shoulder rubs
and words of advice
I got back in the ring
ready for to resume the fight
I learned that night that
you can't beat Gaia
but that you could endure
a few rounds.

Just kidding,
I was knocked out
during the first round.
Sajal Ahmed Jun 2018
The seat of the earth trembles in the sky;
The goddess was shaking
Afraid of me.
I want to go - to the sixth part of heaven, in front of God.
I have an emergency meeting with him.
I do not want to allow the gods to let me go, I started slapping!
I do not trust myself!
I started giving birth to the children of goddesses!
I took the children of the goddess, children and goddesses of the world, to punished of their father.

Keep thinking, your skin color is red
You are in No Man's Land,
There are no obstacles in this way.
Here the birds have big ears.
And sparrows sing songs
You're going to the top of the steep mountain
Underneath the clouds,
Chocolate plated in a frozen ice cream,
There is no cure around.
The cloud is on top of the alignment
Imagine going to go - there is not a moon or two moon,
Blue-colored devil gets death trap
Over the snare is the zodiac
Red-blue red to blue stars
Have to look
Will be dawn.
Eyes look downward,
Think of the way dust,
Grass Look at the side Grasshopper now let's take a long jump. What a strange! What a strange!
The frogs roared in the grass, and called for the calling of the grass, and called to the neck! Diffusion white water, do not get thirsty rainy taste! Dreams Bona,
The Book of Revels Rehale, looking at the sky, think the sky, and no magic!
The insect of any corner of the world will not be missed by one eye, after seeing in your sight all the insects that eat insects by insects. **** it
By the heavens! By oath of the green grass, the day of Mute!
You were not born to die because you died!

I asked the mountains, the sun, the moon and the creatures, "Who am I?"
Their necks were then bowed down. Me and
Hundreds of millions of mountains, the sun, and the moon fell down and said, "The head of my lord is set up, we are becoming entangled!"
Then I turned to God.
Then I asked God the same question.
My neck was high then.
God asked me to kneel down the neck!
I played thirsty, because I immediately recognized my existence and identity!

Walking the long way
Under the feet
Under the floor
Injured wings
My body is dead
The venom of poison
Do not believe to be killed!
Began to be pained
Seeing the unstoppable clumps
Apex venomous snake
Look at the tune only!

A bird's ears
There is no other wings.
A bird cry
The other goes on the roof.
Trapping a bird
Others go to the moon.
They are all birds of the age
Home in the same state
After a bird smile
The rest of the others!
They also at the Gherfhere
One goes to the sky,
Where is the destination of a bird?
No one knows!

More than once I tried
My neck is not lowered!
There is a lot to leave outside the suburbs
I do not feel good..
Where did the god worshiped, where did God go?
Why do not you see me?
What a weird mood
Worshiped on the Lord's footsteps
Every evening and every morning,
My Lord's worship is no more
Do not mind!
I lost;
This is an unbearable pain!
Why do not you see me?
Tommy Randell Jun 2017
I'm planning a day of Rage
But no worries I'm here on my own
So only a few bare walls
Will feel the wrath of my tongue

I've thought about grievances to bare
I'm going all out for cliché and rhetoric
When do I want it? I want it now!
So I'd best hurry up and be quick.

It'll do me the world of good
I'll get it all out in the open
Be great to be angry at something
Instead of just quietly coping

And the washing-up can just sit there
And my emails can sulk on unread
I'm mean and I'm ready to mean it
Some things will just have to be said

I've made up a couple of sandwiches
For you too in case you pop round
Can't rage on an empty stomach
All that bile going round and down

Being a Lone Rager I guess is okay
But even an audience of just one
Will give a good boost to the oratory
Get the old grandiloquence going

So I'll give it another hour or so
Maybe do a few extra chores
A quick flick round with the duster
And build myself up to the roar

What's that ... You're not coming?
Oh dear that's a bit of a pity
Well maybe some other time then
When you're up for a little propinquity

Maybe I'll get in some mirror practice
A few gestures of moody authority
Too easy though ranting alone
Not to find yourself in the majority

I'll let the rage go for the moment
I'll get settled in for the night
There's a film on later about ******
Now there was a Lone Rager alright
LJ Chaplin Nov 2015
Black and blue eyes
From rolling with the punches,
Another lonely night
From relying on the hunches,
Flicking through the channels
And hoping for a sign
That tonight will the night
He won't walk another line,
Shielding his face from the red and blue,
Slurring his words
Because he hasn't got a clue,
Where he is
Or why he's behind bars,
A night in a cell
Because he's written off his car.
He wonders why women walk away,
Why they give him the finger
Or why he never gets their name,
But then again he enjoys the rush,
Of taking them to bed
With another heart to crush,
Of sleeping in sheets
That still smell of Chanel,
From the woman before
Who said "go to hell".
He puts on his shoes
And walks through the door,
Hoping tonight
He'll once again score.
© L.J. Chaplin
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