Take my hand
And never let go
I will take you to the clouds
Where you can yell really loud
Without hearing any judge from your friends

Put your arms around my body
And hold it firmly
Then I will take you to the outer space
Where we could be ourselves
And live happily forever

Kiss my lips
Then I will **** out your negative feelings
I may cannot solve all your problems
But I promise
I will not let you struggle
By single handed

Tell me your new destination
And I will set it as my new mission
I'm doing this for only one reason
I want to share you my Affection

Walk away, for I stopped caring
Just go, don't look at the mirror
Go with the man with a golden ring
I'll be happy alone with the bottles

*****, wine and whiskey
Drunk, wasted and tipsy
The moon is waiting for me there
With the green fairy in her lair

If my organs can't take it
I can change it
Took me a thousand dollars just for her skin
But my alcohol only wants Benjamin Franklin

I could feel the cold air flowing to my skin
Blowing the branches and leafs
Of the millions trees
Fear describes my feelings
As the woods doesn’t seems to welcome me
And the trees staring at me coldly

The land was so muddy
I felt squeamish
As the mud goes up to my legs
Oh *******
Why am I here in this cursed forest
I hate this place

The wind starts to blow stronger
Then ever
To my face directly
The woods have given me a warning
To get out of there and don’t come back ever again

Alone in the woods, what’s the worst it will happen

Another day another night
Under my thick skull there is a light
Roaming around my mind
Everyday day she shines
Like the lights fell from heaven
Ices starts to melt and break the depression
Another day another night

The sweet voice she used to sing
All her positive vibes and her caring
Saved me from the ocean tide
Heaven have created an Angel
Another day another night

Her coloured crown
And the soul behind the window
Never stopped amazed me
Dreamt of her around
On the night where the moonlight glows
Knocked me away from reality
Oh the times wasted to adore her beauty

My heart were covered in fear
To see the future
That stands in front of my eyes

My vision is clear
To face a possible failure
But I have to try

Or maybe
A chance of winning
I don't know the result will be
But I'm scared, that is my feelings

It doesn’t taste sweet
Or bitter
Not even spicy
Or sour
But it’s tasteless

The colors wasn’t green
Or orange
Not even pink
Or violet
But it’s colorless

My poetry became senseless
Lost of it’s magical power
And filled with no colors
Ever since I tried to removed you from My contents

Her eyes are the same as mine. Black and white, but her eyes have beauty in it
Her long hair. Dyed and shines, falls beautifully behind her back, hanging on her head carelessly
Her smile brings joy in life of mine. I want to be the reason of her happiness. Desprately
Her heart makes me blind. I seek nothing else but an imaginative object that I can't see.

Oh Lord let me kiss her lips and let the addiction kills me
Oh Lord let me see her eyes closely. The eyes that will brighten my life so I could see
Oh Lord hear my jealousy, the seed of my sins that grows in my heart slowly
Oh Lord bring her to me. The thief who stole my heart silently

Dear Lord my Saviour
Bless her and protect her
Dear Lord my Saviour
Hear my prayers for her

Her text was the first thing
I saw in the morning
It was confusing
However I was smiling
But then I remembered
The reason why she texted me first
It was because I tried to call her
After I consumed lots of liquor

I live in the cloudy dreams
Where it covered my vision
From seeing these bitter world

My imagination
Is the land where nobody
Can disturb me

Why did you used violence
When he doesn’t have weapons?
Why did you used violence
And left all his children
Fatherless?

I wonder what is with the brutality
Choked a helpless man on the street
He was willing to do your order, let go of your knee
When he said he can’t breathe

Why did you used violence
Without any good reason?
Why did you used violence
When he was innocent?

Why did you used violence
Is it because he is a black person?
Now it’s not your concern
Because now he can breathe peacefully in heaven

Light the fire and pour the gasoline
Then let the ash follows the wind
To release the anchor of the world
That stuck on my back since forever

Light the fire and pour the gasoline
Let the memories fly to the astral realm
But my grip was never firm
And I still collecting dust ever since

Light the fire and pour the gasoline
Then put them back together with glue
Hide my feelings, and erase all the clue
Shut the noise from your heart when it's screaming

Light the fire and pour the gasoline
And use the flames to clean your sins
Or let your self be in the spiral of depression
Then fall and drown in the oceans

When she wants to fly to chase the shooting stars
Or when she wants to sleep at the surface of the clouds
The chain will pull her back to the ground hard
But nobody hear her falling, even after she yelled in pain really loud

Anxiety holds the chain and life bites her neck
Crushed and cannot do anything, all of her bones starts to break
Then left wounded in this cold world
Tried to manage the pain by her own while she trembles

Confused where to cry, because she can’t find a shoulder
Stress filled inside the heart of her mother
Her father is selfish yet filled with anger
Her cousin is a *******
Her boyfriend doesn’t act like her lover
She was born to be the only daughter
Her half siblings are still a youngster
And the society doesn’t seems to care about her

She tried to heal depression with physical pain
A cutter on a right hand and tried to cut her left hand veins
Then she would use her blood as an ink
To write her poetries
Hides her scars with sleeves, and her smile hides her true feelings

Two of her besties are willing to help her when she is down
One of them stands on her side to help her stand up on the ground
And she makes her to promise never cut herself again
But the other one, got separated by the oceans
He can only listens
After he knew how dark her was experience
He was speechless because her world are far more worst then his expectations

But no matter how harsh her stories
She will never give up
Because from pain she learns to be stronger

She called my name
And gave me a bar of chocolate from her hand
The most joyful time of my life
I felt like my future will be filled with bright lights
So I ate it
But when I realized it, it was too late
The chocolate passed the expiration date

Synthetic pine tree stood inside the house
With cute and big presents below the tree's branches
Waiting there for the little childrens
To be open
And show them different surprises

Snow fell from the skies, temperature drops below freezing level
But the heart of the ones who celebrates, can feel warm in each corner
From the heart
Church bell rang
To remind people who celebrates Christmas Carol
That the devotion was about to start
With the priest telling story of how Christ was born

Little kids put on their favourite jacket, gloves and sleeves
Try not to neglect their health, protecting their body from sickness
Meeting with their buddies
Play anything with snow activities
Joyous heart, a big smile
With the sound of laughter
Days full of happines, all sorrows were covered

It wasn't a seed
It was the demon's egg that was buried
Deeply in my heart
The demon starts to crawl

He grows bigger and bigger
He starts to climb to my ear
The words he whispered
Become louder and louder
"**** him Peter"
"Proof your love to her"
"To hell you put her lover"
"Feel the happines of his crying in his torture"

It can't be
The demon have the control of me
All of these hate
Got me lost in faith

I can't do it
But the tendecies
Grows slowly
And it slowly killing me
But I have to bare it

Because she have the joy in him
Eternal joy it seems
Nothing could break them apart
Because their love is solid and hard

And I fear
To drop her tears
As it slowly dripping
And falls down from her chin

I won't let that happen
And I will fight the demon
Till he dies
Or my heart dies

I'm immuned from cupids
And I'm able to sense them if they are coming near
They will feel fear
When they see my eyes so deep

My life are now free from a cupids
The little creatures that makes me stupid
I uses no medicine
But phillophobia is my only poison

Dear Aurelia
Do you still remember
The day when I intended to get my self hurt?
With the two bladed knife I have
That I said it will protect myself
Now I want you to look at my arms
Because of you, there is no more blood, scratch and scars

Dear Aurelia
Even if you are not mine
Or if you never put me in your mind
I still miss you very much
But I can’t say that directly to you, because I have no guts
I’m just a coward
Who did mistakes, sins and dream bigger

Dear Aurelia
When I heard you already have a lover
Who is cooler, smarter and better
The pain in my chest won’t stop until now
My mood goes down down and down
I am now broken-hearted
All the colors I saw slowly turns faded

Dear Aurelia
Listen to my heart for once
By reading my feelings as I poured my emotion into this poem I’ve done

Maybe we weren't destined to be together
Maybe it wasn't my destiny to put an engagement ring around your ring finger
It wasn't my destiny to solve your problems
It wasn't your destiny to love me
Or holding hands with me

But maybe

I was destined to protect your relationship
Putting your bonds inside my shield
Support both of you and your lovers target
With a big smile and no regrets
Then let go whenever I'm ready

Because Aurelia, my dear
I will find a heart to land safely

He fly above the same airport
Waiting for a chance to land on the runway
The runway of her heart
Nobody knows how long he waited but the Lord
That airport have only one parking spot and  one runway
And occupied by one aircraft

It's hopeless
To wait for that parked aircraft to take off and gone forever
He began to feel desperate
All his patience, all of his waiting, gave him a mental break

He opens his sectional
Pull out his plotter
Change his heading bug in his heading indicator
He finally said, with a smile
“It’s time to divert”

Waste of fuel and time
Waste of credits and dimes
Too long he was holding
Now it’s time for leaving

He will never know
How does the runway and the taxi light glows
After sunset and before sunrise
He will never feel
The satisfaction for using the service
24 hours everyday and night
He will never see
The runway decorated by green grass, flowers and trees
The beauty of the airport’s sight

But it’s for the best

Don’t hold back and never will
Take your bicycle and ride through the rain
Don’t mind about the puddles and enjoy the thrill
Ride like you will never ride again

Don’t hold back and don’t quit
Ask that attractive person their numbers
Don’t think about what will happen, just do it
Feel your heartbeat, enjoy it, because rejection doesn’t matter

Don’t hold back and don’t overthink
Dance in public to your favorite music
Catch your breath and sing
Move your body until your legs weak

Don’t hold back and share the happiness
Offer everybody a free hug
It cost nothing and might safe someone from darkness
Give them compliment and wish them good luck

I stayed and I waited
Behind the curtains, under the blanket
Covered myself in melancholy
Then pour my heart with whiskey

I cried then I lied
The heart beats, but my soul died
Still asking questions
About the separation

Lord oh Lord, tell me what happened
Why does love only brings depression?
Lord oh Lord, hear my prayer
For I want the best for her

Thank you for decorating my illusions
I'm blessed with the made up dreams and visions
Althou we were not meant for each other
I only wished I realised it sooner

I stopped my pace, I let the time passed me by
To take a look of her face, she looks beautiful I can't lie
Lets rotate the clock needle to the opposite direction
To change what was wrong, what created the big friction

The little giggles she made
From the jokes I create
The little giggles she made
Now I stayed up late
Her little giggles I heard
Left me with no words
Her little giggles I heard
Helped me from getting hurt

Down in my mind so dark
She created a spark
I hope it will ignite the cold kerosine
To help the metal bird flying

Owns a pretty eyes but she can’t use it well without the help of lenses
Once she take off her glasses, a man won’t even blink as he can’t control all his senses
Deep inside her skull, she have a brain that could solve any problems that came upon
Her full name is a definition of a beautiful genius in my own opinion
She could easily boys fell in love when she laugh or when she slicks her hair back behind her ears
Her only weakness, is a sensitive heart that could make her eyes throw out gallons of tears

I digged the ground with a shovel
The length is 2 meters
With 1 meter width
And 6 feet deep

I put down my deceased dreams
Inside the grave
I finally swallowed the harsh fact and the painful faith
After I broke down in tears

My dreams were
To live with you
My dreams were
To put my lips against yours
My dreams were
Putting a ring around your ring fingers
And my dreams were
To love you forever

But unfortunately, my dreams now are just memories

Her gray eyes shuts my lips close,
Tied my tongue like a rope,
Then clogged both my throat and my nose

I created hundreds of sentences,
Prepared thousands of words,
And arranged millions of letters
But I can only say one compliment

Her gray-colored eyes are extremely rare
So gorgeous, it warms my night in the early winter
I wanted to see her eyes forever
But the reality, however
I won’t be looking at those eyes again

It started
After I saw you for five seconds
Your beauty sticks to my memories for more than weeks
Only for a little moment
I can feel my muscles really weak

But it all ended
When I saw your curve of your lips
Goes up when you lean your head to his shoulder
There goes my hopes and bliss
Taken and swallowed by the world

The dreams I had
Was set on fire by the world
Lefted only dust
Slowly fell to the dirt

The chemistry went out of hand
I need time but I ran out of sand
Been here forever I stand
In this unforgiven land

If only I can fix these legs
To get out of the deep space
Stop wondering how sweet does her lips taste
I wonder how far I can go, if I fix these legs

Whenever your name I wrote
My poems glows
But I have to bury the blooming rose
To see her happiness grows

Dear mother
And father
Now I know how cold this world
After you released me in the airport

My responsibility is not that much
But the pressure I hold
Sometimes It’s too much
For me to hold it by my own

You helped me
By financially
Caring
Loving
Teaching
Screaming at me
Feed me
And raised me

I was too proud to say that
I Cried In My Sleep
You may think I have a strong heart
But my eyes cannot hold the tears

If the words “I love you”
Is not strong enough to proof my affection to you

If the sentence “I need you”
Wasn’t enough to tell you that I’m so fragile without you

If when I said “ I missed you”
Doesn’t mean anything to you

If poetry
Is just bunch of words arranged beautifully

If my feelings
Are just hormones wandering around body

If roses
Are just flowers growing in the garden

If ring around the finger
Are just an accessory made from silver

Then how will I give you the evidence
That you are so special?

I love your flaws, curves and style
I love how sweet is your smile
I love your positive vibes
That gave me such an optimistic life
I love your beautiful mind
I love your eyes that shines
I love how your voice sounds
That carries away all the sorrows around

I love you, I will never deny it
I love you, you're the one I want to be with

I made a cross on my body
And I shut my eyes closed
I praised the Lord
And I told him what I want and what I need

I mentioned your name and your lover's
In my everyday's prayers
With a hesitate
But tried hard to accept my faith

It's hard for me to pray
So your relationship is getting better
I could feel a scratch on my heart's surface
My tongue tasted so bitter
My lungs can't catch some oxygen
And my brain faces tremendous malfunction

But even thou my prayers drove me wild
I still can pray with a big smile
I hope both of your bondings will never be broken
I prayed for the best of both of you, the lovely diamonds

I slide the door open
And saw Aurelia reading a novel
Sitting in the living room
On a summer afternoon

Then a man kicked the front door open
Take out his gun and pulled the trigger
And shot Aurelia right on the forehead
My heart dropped and I Screamed Her Name

Few men came in like a soldier
One of them was the leader
I’m the next target
But I don’t want to be dead

So I pulled out my pistol
Pull, aim and fire
Shot dead all of them
Except the leader, his legs were pierced by my bullet

He looked at me and beg for mercy
But all the hatred and anger has controlled me
I shot his torso twice
And his head three times

I leaned my back on the wall
And slowly sat on the floor
Burnt a Marlboro
And gave my lungs some smoke

I looked at Aurelia’s body
No soul, no emotions and no spirit
Her breathless nose
I had a mental break down

Then my eyes were wide opened
Lying down on my bed
No dead men around the area
No Aurelia
It was just a nightmare
I was scared
It felt so real
So real

I finally opened my eyelids wide
I finally see the world clearly with my own eyes
At last I perceived
That this planet earth
Still have a millions of angels
Traveling around the world

They are all imperfect
But they all have their own talents
Some of them really catches my attention
But they failed to triggers my adrenaline
Dopamine, vasopressin and my oxytocin

Because It Didn't Feel Right

I don't think I can fall in love again
I did everything I can
To get you out of my brain

Because you are my miracle
The chosen angel
Among  the others
That spreaded through all the planet

I walked to the moon, and she welcomed me
Greets me and let me in
She pulled me with her gravity
Impatiently waiting for me to reach the ground safely

I touched her surface
Rub it
And get the sense of her on my skin
Smoothly as I can
As balmy as she demands
All my pain and depression began to fades
I felt so beatific
After I saw her smiling

I laid my back on the ground
Her gravity pulled me stronger
Stronger than ever
I looked up at the sky around
The sun and the other stars shining their own universes
It’s just a simple thing, but I could feel so much pleasure

But I cannot stay there longer
I have to go back to earth
She understands my reason
For the need of my oxygen
I walked away
And we go on our separate way
I went down
Back to my hometown
Meet my friends
And tell them about my experience

I walked to the moon and reach back to earth safely
It’s a waste of money
To get the rocket and my safety equipment
I walked to the moon, and it felt like in heaven

He took my body to the desert
While my heart stays here
To guide him in his dark world
For I am Just His Chandelier

Punish me when I got bit by the crocs
Hit me when the opposite spoke
Pull me down when I nearly reached the clouds
Followed by his screams in my ears so loud

His love is my pain
His joy is my rain
My dreams putted aside
And my life lost it’s pride

End all my misery
By put myself in the history
I want to get lost in the world of mystery
To set my soul free

They were divided by the ocean
She tried to keep an update with him when he was sleeping
He tried to tell her his days when she was already dreaming
All because of a different destinations
Even when they physically away by the distance of 14952 kilometers
But their hearts still stuck together

Skins desperately wants to touch each other
Everyday just getting harder
Thousands of times they texted him/her “I Miss You”
It wasn’t enough to let out the pressures they have been through

Even if their eyes still can see each other via video call
They didn’t feel complete at all
Even if they can hear their voices from calling
They prefer to listen it directly
Even the sweetest dreams they have in their mind
Their little heart won’t be satisfied

She is the light with undefeated brightness
Where it’s warm and contains happiness
But I rather stay in the darkness
For it’s misguide to the path that wasn’t chosen

Tempting and I never want to avoid
The lights calling my name wants me to stay below it
But I rather be here shove my ears and close it
In the cold darkness let my blood be frozen

So I buried myself in the shadow
Where it’s just cold and hollow
Because if I follow
It will only ends with disappointment

Don’t know where should I go
And I don’t think I cared anymore
Wide opened sectional
With a standby plotter
A flight computer
And a pencil

But no line was drawn
My plotter became useless
I let my Cessna flew by his own
And he followed where the wind blew

I noticed
The wind pushed me to that same airport
The same runway I tried to avoid
It's like faith
The further I go
The stronger the wind blows
Or it's just my crazy theory
Or maybe my mind plays tricks on me

I’m lost in the nowhere’s skies
And I still found her
No matter how far I fly
The wind leads me to her

Sometimes I just want to yell at the top of my lungs to you
Sometimes I just want to be angry to you
I want to scream at your ears
Until your eyes producing tears
Then I will tell you what my heart wants to say
And what you did to me everyday
Call me crazy
Because I'm a Lunatic

The reason why
Is because you still messing around my mind,
You messed my chemistry,
Took my heart again and left me empty,
And you make me weak
When you are so close to me

2nd part of “I Walked To The Moon”

I Walked To The Moon. Now here I am on earth
With anxiety haunted my sleep
Desperately wanted to touch her
Missing the pull of her gravity
And live inside her forever

I remembered her spoiled voice
That I cannot resist
Asking me to stay longer
Until her sorrows are over
I hate to be separated from her
My moon that shines bright
In my everyday night

I stood up on my backyard before I sleep
I saw my moon standing in the sky toughly
She gleams brighter than before, as if she was looking for me
So I waved at her trying to grab her attention
But I’m just a human being, hardly she notice. Again my heart was broken
I missed her
I love her
I need her
I want her

Putting you inside my brain systems
Are one of the best things I've ever done

I can't stop imagine
Both of us sitting at the roof under the moonlight,
Talking while drinking our favourite alcoholic beverages,
Hop in the aircraft, baby I will be the pilot and we will look down enjoying the city lights
And pressing our lips together until we could see the sunrise

Aurelia, my sweetheart
I've always hoped that those dreams comes to reality
But sadly
The real world slapped me too hard
Until I opened my eyes
Really wide

They said Imagination have infinite power
You can imagine the edge of the world
Or the non existed colour
But no matter how powerful it is
I can never get the picture
A day without loving her

Aurelia

It's not your fault that I loved you
It's my mistake that I let myself covered in the blues
It's not your fault that I can't move on
But it's my flaws to carved your name in my bones
You're not the reason why my obsession has grown
Because my hormones plays around on their own
And again, you appeared in my dreams
Yet it's not because your action, it's my actions to let you in

Aurelia
I am so sorry
Because again I wrote you a poetry

She is the spirit inside my temple
Lingering at the shadows from the corners
Protecting my sacred place from an intruders
And killed whoever comes with her short temper

Never look at her eyes because she will take out your vision
Never speak against her because her poisonous fangs will stop your heartbeat
Never even try to touch her because she will turn your bones into ashes
Don't ever try to **** her because my wrath will be the last thing you see when you are finished

I trust her with my temple
She can do whatever she wants inside
Nobody is allowed to enter
With or without my permission

Set your soul free and expand your wings
Then follow the choir of the Angels singing
The ice won't freeze your feathers
For the sky is now your home forever

Set your soul free and sleep on the clouds
Don't worry about us griefing out loud
Rest in Peace, sleep tight
Rest in Peace, don't worry about tonight

Set your soul free, Heaven is waiting for your arrival
Let go of your flesh and we will set a proper burial
When you reached the promised land
Share your jokes and laughter with your new friends

For how many times I thought
I could let her go?
How many billions of seconds I swallowed
To just lay in my bed, waiting for her to fill the hole
Very deeply inside me
So I can feel complete?
How much cigarettes did I burnt
Until my lungs hurt
For just putting my focus on that girl?
How much poems should I write
With all the creativity and the rhymes
So she noticed that already a thousand times
I already cried
From the inside?
How many romantic songs I listened
When I faced a tremendous depression
After she touched my minuscule heart
And left me apart?
How come I still adore her
After all the tortures
That she did already
By unintentionally?
How much pain
Should I gain
Just so I could see her eyes
That glows in my dreams every nights?
How much longer I can carrying this torch
The fire that burnt my feelings into ashes
The flame that harms me the most
That could traumatized me for ages?

I have no idea............

Was it your beauty
That distracts me?
Was it your body
That makes my focus blurry?
Was it your smile
That sets my heart on fire?
Was it your eyes
That makes me can’t see because it’s too bright?
Was it the way your singing
That makes me can’t hear the radio coming?
Was it your brain
That caused my heart to beats faster like bullet train?
Or maybe your just overwhelming
That inspired my dreams and caused me overthinking

Whatever the reason is
You made me crashed my aircraft
Really **** hard
That nearly caused a fatal injury

She took my heart when I flew in the skies
200 knots to the ground, luckily I survived
Broke my plane and I knew I cannot fly
Because I took a peek into her eyes

How amazing is this woman?
So easily to be noticed when she sits
Disturbing my dreams when she sleeps
Hypnotised me when she only speaks
Cool down my hell when she breaths
Put me down from the skies when she sees

So loveable this woman
But if I give her my heart, it would be dangerous
If I kiss her lips, my saliva contains poison and she will die
If I stare at her eyes, beneath my eyes there is a selfish demon ready to eat her alive
If I hold her hands, I can't control my own power and she will cry
If I hug her, I can't contain my joy then I might crush all her bones, she looses her life
If she gave me her heart, I might end up toys around her feelings, disturbing her night

So with my Perfectly Healthy Legs, I'm walking away
To stand along beside her was my dream, now there is no reason to stay
I will rest only when I want to pray
To ask the Lord for guidance on my new journey everyday